Member-only story
Substack Suspended My Account (Now Taking Newsletter Name Suggestions)
I wasn’t expecting an award, but a suspension? Bold move
One day, you’re minding your own business, writing emails, making jokes, vibing. The next? BAM. Substack hits you with a suspension like you’re some kind of internet outlaw.
No warning. No gentle “Hey, maybe don’t do that?” Just straight to exile.
I half expected them to send a medieval-style scroll declaring my banishment.
I checked my inbox, thinking, Maybe it’s a glitch? Maybe Substack just needed a little nap? Nope. Just a cold, automated message letting me know my newsletter dreams had been, well… suspended.
The irony? I wasn’t even breaking rules (unless making people laugh is illegal now, in which case, guilty).
Meanwhile, actual scammers are out here selling “How to Become a Millionaire by Breathing” courses with zero consequences.
So now, here I am. Homeless. Digital refugee. Typing this with the dramatic energy of someone who’s just been evicted.
Should I start a carrier pigeon newsletter?
Mail out handwritten blog posts?
