pater

11/14/17; 02/18/23

it’s not fair to see you
so frail
invaded
by fear
remember when you told me
to question everything
be open-minded
yet
skeptical
you were fearless
once
when you punched the cops
before you punched the clocks

but a cruelty took you
a boy now
in a body of
ruins
I know what you meant
when you told me
everything hurts
it does
& I’m sorry
that I have a hard time hearing
because everything hurts
never thought
I’d have to mother
my father

but I won’t beat you as you did
because I understand that
you don’t understand
maybe neither of us deserved
this
but deserving
is just
a promise of justice that will never arrive

some nights you would tell me
to Live Long & Prosper
but only half came true
perhaps for…