stay humble
and make tracks
stay walking
the great path
it’s all you have
know thyself
it’s a call
to grasp
all truths
taught in
and beyond
all roots
and habits
you’ve made
and became
an awesome
personality
craftsman
but may get
caught in
madness
often
mad enough
to get lost in
vibrant darkness
meditative arts
we must all
just practice
“no one —
gets out of here alive”
says mum
now from
the coffin
a vase of dust
I’ve gotten but
still feel her mind
not done because
she died
still her lines
remain in touch
often so have I
not forgotten much
she’s a vibe
eternally begotten
I was
bedside
she was
dropping a lifetime
see what
hurdle and release
she was
living in realtime
becoming free
from body
teaching me
How to die
still attached
to memory to tell
her death felt
so familiar like
I’ve had a million
lifetimes watching
life go on battlefields
and bedsides
It was no big deal
I knew death
Like I know life
Too many times
Just part of the wheel
I was watching love
I was walking mum
Inside her dream
reminded her to
summon up
her mantra
that she needs
she spent a lifetime
remembering seeds
just for this moment
recall the sound-light
vibration golden
most will never
know of or notice
mystic Traditions
but mantra
she was given
by a living Master
So it’s a staff
for the afterlife
To guide mind
past emotion
unfulfilled desires
regrets that bite
the next chapter
then “judgment” like
confronting her
doppleganger of life
who reflects back
all her actions
totals of loaded
emotions she made
people feel & reach
throughout her life
as if it was her own self
for we are ONE
and the pain
you made other’s felt
comes back for you
to relive again
can for sure
feel like hell
she made sure
to give us living
loved ones
one last hell
of criticism
summoning
up opinions
hidden away dark
she held
give ’em shit
from the deathbed
I respect it
Imperfect
Yet her truth connected
Forever guided
By the feminine
She birthed creation
I get it.
She made me a man
So I can not be offended
By any words
That any human says
But damn
It made me restless
But damn
It made me check this
Calling out my weakness
one last time
the watch of Kali is done
her clock in completes it
there’s no stopping
the body from rotten disease
and lots of coughing for release
making funny jokes
like her smallest
pot of coffee
as a host offering
single cups
for most honestly
was not enough for us
calling for caffeine
I’m watching
she travels memory
recalling old music
wrapt up in cotten
plus the largest
human diaper
ever seen
never forgotten
needs me to change
but it’s cathartic
it’s the hardest
Homage
To Mother Mary
Feminine Shakti
Take my Heart
As my offering
Sitting with
some strangers
I never knew
closest to mom
Isn’t it the strangest?
who shows up
and who didnt?
the ones in town
The Scilian in me
says you’re cut off now
ya’ll didn’t show
she was still
your confidant
I’ve also missed a lot
of funerals
naieve as fuck
dying in
the dining room
close up
is my mom
she holds her
makeup
applies lipstick
uses it for blush
one last touch up
one last time
because it matters to die
with dignity
in fashion and style
she loved
during her lifetime
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adulthood concludes
in her mind
she resigns
it’s almost time too
living life
backwards
time traveling
now she wants to find
a child’s toy
just to hold onto
I’m missing my daughter
across the country
what do I hold onto?
soon my niece
comes through
to provide a toy just so
Nana can hold onto
some more time
a little longer
processing her life
chapters
I can’t even imagine
never even knew
the words to say
until my uncle
leaned in a way
and said,
“I LOVED being your brother.”
ohhh that’s what you say
it gave me the juice
so I explained too,
“I LOVED being YOUR Son, Mom.”
what a life we had too
an overflow of
love and conflict
but in authentic Truth
my lifetime of anger
became regret and pain
as i watched her change
her face became
that of a little child
sweeter than cane
shaped by history
then became
my own child’s
innocent smile in a way
light of wonder
reborn as if wondering
where am I?
did I just live this life?
what a day!
I was not prepared
but she prepared me
to be utterly fearless
like she dared to be
i remain deep in
forever gratefulness
like some massive
debt was brought
closer to square
I wish there was more
I could have gave
but Nature‘s always fair
mom told us she
had to teach us to die
in the last days
and she did
some say
she died with grace
Fearless
For me,
she died in PLAY
the same lesson
our children stir us to wake
transformed by a new
Recognition -
she was mine too
76 years
melted away
motherhood
stripped away
to showcase
my mother:
the raw human being
my Shepard
and teacher
now becomes
my child to take
care of in her late
stage season
who am I?
I can’t believe it
beyond words
there is no grief
she became
Radiant love
that fills up
my heart vacancy
to this day
cathartic repayment
of karmic meanings
that stretch stars to break
into death
dissolution & creation
children changes you
death changes you
and its clear
how did i get so lucky?
we’re here to serve.
