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Learning to Balance the Give and Take in Relationships
It’s never too late to learn
I turn 50 next year — a milestone birthday. In my estimation, I’ve lived more than half my life. Half of that was spent being married, raising kids, recognizing how unhappy I was in my marriage, and gathering the courage to walk out.
It’s sufficient to say that I did my fair share of compromising my desires, needs, and wants for others. The beauty of getting older and doing the inner work is the clarity that it brings to how I’d like to live out the rest of my life.
As tiring as it may feel on some days, I am used to doing things on my own and making things happen for myself. Strong and independent are traits that describe me. I am a giver. I like helping others, and I derive great joy from that role. Maybe that explains why I am a teacher.
What may seem like desirable qualities, on the outside, can also be limiting. My independence and constant giving often leave me feeling taken for granted, and resentment follows. In retrospect, I realized I didn’t know how to receive, set boundaries, and honor myself.
Let me explain.
The fact that I like helping people sends an implicit message about my position of power, screaming, “I have what you need, therefore I will give/ share.” With…
