Charisma Quotient: Build Confidence, Make Connections and Find Love

Kimmy Seltzer
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Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

  1. 43M AGO

    Creating Emotional Connection in Modern Dating with Dr. D Ivan Young

    Have you ever come back from a date thinking, "Where was the spark?" Why is it that so many conversations feel like boring interviews instead of genuine connections? How can you move past surface-level banter to truly feel something? In Episode 441 of The Charisma Quotient, "Creating Emotional Connection in Modern Dating with Dr. D Ivan Young" Kimmy dives deep into what it takes to spark emotional connection with her special guest, Dr. D. Ivan Young—a renowned emotional intelligence and human behavior expert.    Together, they unpack why so many dates lack the emotional pull we crave and how generational and cultural patterns can block our ability to share or even recognize feelings. They explore how empathy works, why being a "people pleaser" can be a trap, and the neuroscience behind empathy and attraction—including how our brains react during meaningful conversations. Dr. Young also reveals the concept of "weaponized empathy" - how people (and even algorithms!) can manipulate our emotional triggers for their own purposes, and why understanding this is crucial for creating safer, more genuine relationships. Kimmy offers relatable stories and strategies for breaking out of defensive dating habits and cultivating emotional intimacy, rather than falling back into transactional chat or "LinkedIn exchanges." You'll hear: Why so many dates feel like interviews, not connections The neuroscience behind fight-or-flight mode and its impact on dating conversations The difference between being empathic, people pleasing, and genuinely connecting How cultural and generational beliefs influence your emotional expression Tangible skills to boost authentic conversation and emotional vulnerability on dates   If you're ready to break free from boring banter, sign up for Kimmy's free breakthrough call here: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    41 min

  2. 5D AGO

    Introvert Conversation Mistakes That Kill Attraction

    Do you find yourself hanging back in social settings, struggling to know what to say on dates, or exhausted by the thought of small talk? You might consider yourself an introvert, which is why dating and socializing can be challenging. If this is you… whose energy gets drained by too much external stimulation, then this episode is for you. In Episode 440 of The Charisma Quotient, "Introvert Conversation Mistakes That Kill Attraction" Kimmy unpacks the most common misunderstandings and hidden mistakes introverts make that unknowingly kill attraction during conversation and social interactions. She explains why being an introvert is not the same as being shy or socially awkward, and introduces the four types of introverts to help you pinpoint your unique wiring. Through client stories and real listener letters, Kimmy exposes how incredible qualities like thoughtfulness and being a great listener can get lost in translation if you don't know how to bridge the gap between observing and engaging, especially in those crucial first moments. You'll also learn why your first impression matters more than what you say, how to move from safe, surface conversation into memorable, emotionally charged interactions, and why flirting is about more than cheesy lines. Kimmy arms you with practical tips, conversation hacks, and a breakdown of the six biggest conversation mistakes introverts make (plus one bonus!) that could be holding you back in love, friendship, and even work. You'll hear: The real difference between introversion, shyness, and social anxiety How to identify your introvert "type" and what it means for you The hidden conversation mistakes introverts make that kill attraction Why surface-level, factual conversation leaves you overlooked or friend-zoned Techniques for being playful, flirting authentically, and making emotional connections   If you are an introvert and have a hard time approaching or sustaining a conversation, secure your spot in Kimmy's upcoming dating workshop and discover through practical, actionable strategies to convert conversations into dates. But space is limited, so act now! https://www.stophatingdating.com   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    36 min

  3. APR 9

    Orgasm, Oxytocin & Attraction: The Missing Link to Dating Confidence with Dr. Anna Cabeca

    Do you struggle with body image, feel stuck, or wonder what role oxytocin, intimacy, and even your wardrobe play in reigniting your sense of self and attraction? Your hormones and low body confidence could be the reason why you are not dating.  Your hormones, your confidence and your body image are all in a relationship with each other. In Episode 439 of The Charisma Quotient, "Orgasm, Oxytocin & Attraction: The Missing Link to Dating Confidence with Dr. Anna Cabeca" Kimmy talks with Dr. Anna Cabeca, a triple board-certified OBGYN and women's health expert. The two dive into the intricate relationship between hormones, confidence, body image, and intimacy. Dr. Anna Cabeca breaks down how hormone imbalances, such as declining estrogen and progesterone, can affect everything from your drive to your flirting signals, and shares actionable lifestyle and medical holistic strategies to help women reclaim that spark. Together, they discuss not only the physiological solutions but also the importance of lifestyle changes like nutrition, movement, connection, and microdosing oxytocin through laughter, dance, and community.  They go over how wardrobe choices and playful activities fuel confidence, why physical touch and the "two-minute cuddle rule" are backed by science, and how to break free from negative dating patterns by understanding both inner physiology and external behaviors. You'll hear: How hormonal changes during menopause impact confidence, sexuality, and body image Why oxytocin is crucial for intimacy and self-connection, and how chronic stress disrupts it Steps to reclaim your sense of self through both medical and lifestyle practices The science behind "enclothed cognition"—how wardrobe choices affect the brain and confidence How movement, dancing, laughter, and friendship can microdose oxytocin and lift your mood   If you are stuck in the loop of painful dates, boring conversations and feeling not confident in your body, secure your spot in Kimmy's upcoming dating workshop and discover how to convert conversations into dates—space is limited, so act now! https://www.stophatingdating.com   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    36 min

  4. APR 2

    How Trauma Affects Flirting & Dating: Coaching with Kimmy

    Do you find yourself holding back, guarding your energy, or struggling to trust men—even when you long for connection? What if your difficulty with chemistry and attraction isn't about technique, but rooted in deeper experiences and beliefs from your past and you don't even realize it? In Episode 438 of The Charisma Quotient, "How Trauma Affects Flirting & Dating:  Coaching with Kimmy " Kimmy sits down for a coaching call with Charlie, a successful, vibrant woman approaching 50 who's ready to unpack the undercurrents shaping her dating patterns.    Together, they trace how childhood messages, family dynamics, and old trauma can create invisible walls that block playfulness, openness, and even sexual confidence. Kimmy gently unravels how familiar protection strategies—emotional and physical—can show up in body language, relationship choices, and the persistent "friend zone" frustration. Kimmy helps Charlie discover why her flirtation style isn't just "corny" or "awkward," but a form of self-protection shaped by a protective upbringing and past relationship betrayals. They discuss practical strategies for Charlie (and YOU!) to slowly let down the guard, step into social situations with empowered energy, and do the deep work to attract the partnership she truly wants.   You'll hear: How childhood messages about safety and seriousness can block your natural flirtation instincts The connection between past trauma, a guarded demeanor, and feeling "awkward" in dating Why protection strategies that worked in the past can now repel chemistry and attraction The pendulum swing—from controlling relationships to ultra-safe, distant ones, and how it impacts you The power of identifying and breaking patterns with unavailable partners   Curious to see what's really holding you back? Hop on a private call with Kimmy to map out a plan and ideas of how to overcome this pattern https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    52 min

  5. MAR 26

    Why Perfectionism & Self-Doubt Are Killing Your Dating Life with Julee Gracey

    Are you caught in the trap of overthinking and overanalyzing your every move? Do you find yourself waiting until everything is "just right" or perfect before putting yourself out there? In Episode 437 of The Charisma Quotient, "Why Perfectionism & Self-Doubt Are Killing Your Dating Life with Julee Gracey" Kimmy chats with powerhouse business coach, author, and former model Julee Gracey, who shares her journey from farm girl to international runway and business stages—and all the life lessons along the way.   Together Kimmy and Julee uncovers how perfectionism and self-doubt can end up shrinking your confidence and stealing your opportunities. They explore real stories of high-achievers paralyzed by analysis and discuss how embracing imperfection sets you on the path to authentic, sustainable confidence, not only in love but in business and life. Listen in as they discuss practical frameworks to cut through self-doubt, why "done is better than perfect," and how letting go of performative confidence can actually help you step into your full power—even if you have to get a little messy along the way.    You'll hear: The hidden ways perfectionism sabotages dating and success—and why you might be stuck in "analysis paralysis." Why overachievers are often the ones secretly struggling most with self-doubt and relationship patterns. A proven framework to move through fear and make decisions with less anxiety. How to stop "shape-shifting" to fit in and start attracting the right people by being unapologetically yourself. The importance of receiving help, hiring a coach, and what to do if you're really stuck.   If you are stuck in analysis paralysis, overthink everything and worry about things excessively that it prevents you from finding healthy love, then hop on a private call with Kimmy to map out a plan and ideas of how to overcome this pattern https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    39 min

  6. MAR 19

    Why You're Not Meeting People IRL (And How to Change That)

    Have you ever found yourself wondering why, despite putting yourself out there, you're just not meeting new people—or forming the kinds of connections you crave? In Episode 436 of The Charisma Quotient, "Why You're Not Meeting People IRL (And How to Change That)," Kimmy dives deep into the real (and surprisingly fixable) reasons you're not meeting people in the wild—regardless of your age, personality, or current habits She shares eye-opening stories from her coaching clients, breaking down the three major archetypes of daters who struggle most with IRL connection. Kimmy then walks through the subtle, everyday behaviors and mindset shifts that can radically open up your social life—so you become not just visible, but approachable and magnetic. If you're tired of the apps, drained by endless swiping, or convinced you're "just not lucky" with serendipitous meets, this practical episode offers fresh hope and clear steps to reignite your in-person charisma. You'll hear: The "truth bomb" about why opportunities to meet people are everywhere—but often missed Surprising stories and case studies from real clients who unlocked their approachability Three common archetypes that struggle most to meet people in the real world Five subtle behaviors that might be sending "don't talk to me" signals Kimmy's step-by-step hacks for making yourself more approachable instantly Ready to change how you show up and meet people? Join Kimmy's next LIVE co-ed workshop How To Meet People IRL.  You'll learn how to use your energy, body language, subtle flirting cues and a social plan to invite connection without forcing it or feeling awkward. Just go to www.stophatingdating.com to register.  Hurry!  Spots go fast!   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    41 min

  7. MAR 13

    Breaking Free from Overachiever Habits in Dating: Coaching with Kimmy

    Are you a smart, successful and high achiever who has your life together but when it comes to dating and flirting you feel completely stuck?  What if the very strengths that make you thrive at work are holding you back in your love life?  In Episode 435 of The Charisma Quotient, "Breaking Free from Overachiever Habits in Dating: Coaching with Kimmy," Kimmy sits down for a coaching call with Elena, a smart, stylish, and accomplished woman who finds herself struggling to tap into her feminine energy, especially in the dating world.    They dig beneath the surface, exploring the root causes behind why high-achieving women often get stuck in the friend zone rather than the flirt zone. Elena bravely shares her experiences growing up in a Latina, Catholic household where strength, leadership, and independence were heavily emphasized—and how those qualities, while powerful in her career, present real challenges in romantic scenarios. Kimmy breaks down three key roadblocks—from childhood conditioning and cultural influences to control as a form of emotional safety—which can make it difficult to relax, be playful, and enjoy receiving attention.    You'll hear: How career-driven habits can sabotage your ability to flirt and connect in romantic settings The difference between leading with masculine energy vs. tapping into your feminine energy (and why it matters) Why many high-achieving women default to "interviewing" on dates and how to break this pattern The impact of early family and cultural messages around strength, attractiveness, and being "enough" Kimmy's targeted advice and specific "homework" assignments to practice receiving attention and getting comfortable being seen   If you have difficulties being playful, flirtatious and having fun with dating, then join Kimmy's next LIVE co-ed workshop How To Meet People IRL.  You'll learn how to use your energy, body language, and subtle flirting cues to invite connection without forcing it or feeling awkward. Just go to www.stophatingdating.com to register.  Hurry!  Spots go fast!   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    43 min

  8. MAR 5

    What's Your Dating Style? How Human Design Reveals Who You Attract With Dr. Karen Parker

    What if your dating challenges have roots far deeper than your last breakup, maybe even back to childhood family dynamics and subconscious roles?  In Episode 434 of The Charisma Quotient, "What's Your Dating Style? How Human Design Reveals Who You Attract With Dr. Karen Parker," Kimmy sits down with Human Design expert Dr. Karen Parker to dive into the intersection of energetic patterns, early life conditioning, and dating success.    Together, Kimmy and Dr. Karen walk through how recurring relationship patterns often stem from old family roles and unspoken rules absorbed in childhood—before you ever go on your first date. Dr. Karen reveals the essentials of Human Design, describing how our energetic types influence not only relationships, but also areas like self-worth, communication, and even financial abundance. She explains the five Human Design types—Manifestor, Generator, Manifesting Generator, Projector, and Reflector and shares actionable tips to reconnect with your authentic self.   You'll hear: Why most dating patterns start in your family system—not your romantic experiences The revealing question Kimmy asks clients who habitually attract emotionally unavailable partners The five Human Design energy types and their influence on love, self-expression, and decision-making Common relationship challenges each Human Design type tends to face (and how to overcome them) Practical strategies for self-acceptance and breaking stubborn patterns in dating.   If you want to find out what type of dater you are take Kimmy's Dating Diagnosis Quiz www.kimmyseltzer.com/quiz . Once you detect your challenges and you're ready to get out of your old dating patterns, book your free call with Kimmy here: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/   Charisma Quotient Podcast is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and many of your other favorite podcast channels. ************************************************⁣ Kimmy Seltzer is a Confidence Therapist and Authentic Dating Strategist implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to your life. ⁣ ************************************************⁣ Would you like to connect with Kimmy?⁣ Website:  https://kimmyseltzer.com/⁣ Chat: https://www.kimmyseltzer.com/breakthrough-session/ Instagram: @kimmyseltzer Twitter: @kimmyseltzer Join her FREE Facebook Group Love Makeover Insiders:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovemakeovers Take her Flirt Quiz to see what kind of flirt you are www.flirtover40.com

    38 min
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4.7
out of 5
145 Ratings

About

Welcome to the Charisma Quotient hosted by dating, makeover and confidence expert, Kimmy Seltzer. Each week, learn from Kimmy and other experts about how to build confidence from the outside, in. She's consulted thousands of people to revamp their style, boost their confidence and most importantly, find love. Her lighthearted, down-to-earth and practical approach brings a fun and knowledgeable style to the podcast. She alternates the podcast with solo episodes highlighting various topics, interviewing experts, reading questions and answering them with surprising answers and live coaching sessions.

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