Nna
Nna is an Igbo name mainly translated to ‘father.’ The word can be used generically, not necessarily to refer to one’s dad, and so, to me, it refers to a friend I named Nna.
I didn’t think I could become so irritated by something. Ok, I didn’t know I could come. So pissed! I am very close to being annoyed. It feels strangely different, not typically what I would do for the first reaction. It’s just a pure case of having it up to my neck this time; how hard can it be to trust someone?
Like every other day, the sun came out, and there were many things to do. I have been up for a while.
If Nna had been more present, things mightn’t be as they are now. It’s been a while since I've heard from him. Nothing had ever happened. It’s as if life just happened and rightly took us apart, and we’ve never done anything else to get closer.
“I like to think Rema was different and probably had his way around! How many musicians do you think will have the chance to grow to fame as he did without attending university in this country?” Nna had always been passionate about his words and, rightly, about his view on things. Conversations with him have never been simple. He always knew more.
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“Well,” he continued, “I guess I’m saying never put all your eggs in our basket.” That’s it! That, right there, is what is with Nana; he’s always philosophical, defining things more profoundly than they had to go. This wasn’t about the Nigerian star anymore; it was more about pondering life and what it had to offer. When wasn’t it about this topic? Nna wanted to grow more than he is now. I mean, everyone wants to grow, but who doesn’t? Nna gives things more meaning and makes discussing depression and abstract topics beautiful. He had a unique step, too. It’s just subtle, but it’s there. You can see it when you walk.
“I mean, know... just that, how does one ever escape this vicious circle of endless trials?” I asked. I had to; I was invested and wanted to learn more. It was nice talking with him. About a month into knowing Nna, I knew that not everything was about facades and just making empty moves or acting from the clouds. It needed to make sense and define a path based on what matters most in one's life. I wish I had been open enough to understand deeper and act earlier than I did. Things were challenging. Typically, that’s everyone’s story of becoming. No one ever has it easy for themselves. I learned to be more reserved from Nna; he was straightforward and had great conversations. Maybe that’s how I remember him. But my life won’t remain the same after being with him. The day I’d write about him was always going to come!
The more profound the echo, the more sinister the tones in the reality of life we had to deal with growing up. We were both just confused young boys. We wanted to be better than everyone else wanted. We were fed up with staying where life had us. We tried to define what we wanted from this life and make it ours. We’ve just realized that no one is coming to save us. It was always just us. Just us, and either now or never. We wanted better.
I walked him with Nna because it felt like I was with myself; I didn’t just muse on my thoughts; it was just out there, a fair and reserved person staring back and making it worth it. We’d trek from class to the very far-down gate. It was a practice we had, which, now thinking, was a combination of saving on transport and getting the time to believe in more profound concepts we wanted to review and find common ground on. Reminding ourselves how much we wanted to be better and our current state meant we had a journey ahead of us if we were to become something as close as escaping the vicious pile and possibly being successful, as Rema did.
“for someone my age. He has found his way,” I said, still on the musician’s success.
“yes. Rema is talented. Don’t go there. He worked for it.” He finally waved it off.
I understand that everything makes sense to talk about. But when it was about time to sit, an exciting level of interest always prevented everything. Nothing exists in isolation, so when one thing is making its way through the pile, everything else comes full circle, too. We all want to be better and better at that, too. Never has it been easy, and not with the story of a. We knew where this was heading, and we wanted more regardless. We can’t do much, so we focused on every little part of the story that we could control and make ours. And that’s what we did!
