Jokes on you, it didn’t work. I wanna be 🍞

Oh wait…

I’ve been trying to sing Epica for a few years here and there when no one is around and when I needed some way to cope. It helped a lot reaching some ranges. I still sing poorly but I can reach higher frequencies and have already a feeling for my voice. Still need a looot of training ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;) 

Oh get it, I’m feeling the same right now. I’m boymoding for work and I’m feeling not great about it. It reflects my old self and shows me how close I am still to my old self physically. Of course brainwoms makes it harder, there are somes changes with hrt, and I’ve changed the way I wear my “boy” clothes, my mimics, my voice but still…

Makes me feel like I was looking to a photo pre-transition.

Yes please :3

I’m not that far yet in my introspection my egg cracking is relatively new. I have some dysphoria about my genitals, sometimes I’m ok with it, sometimes not. I don’t understand exactly what I want from it and maybe it is linked to my previous romantic experience.

As for people treating you differently. It’s easy to say it as I’m probably not the one who will be able to enforce my own advice but f… them if they are not okay with your want or need of your own body.

Any surgery should be your own choice for your own good.

Well mood’s fluctuating. Feeling a bit down. Yet somehow, I’m happy, stressed, about this week-end gonna visit some friends far away that I’ve never seen physically. I’m trusting them I have no doubts but stress still exists.

Got new boots that slay, that’s that.

Honestly I’ve been asking myself the same question. I’m using some almond oil for my skin. Supposedly it’s suppose to hydrate my skin help to prevent stretch mark.

At this point I don’t really know.

I feel oddly targeted 😅

(,>﹏<,)

Now I wanna be called pumpkin. Somehow I’ve found this nickname sweet. :3 (even without the “other” meaning.)

That’s the spirit! I would do the same :3

Both actually then.

I don’t know, I’ve never had them before. Like maybe I’m expressing that poorly that’s not what butterflies mean?

Like tingly feeling that wasn’t there before. Especially when picturing something a bit more spicy or intimate without being especially sexual… Like I feel in my chest and lower?
Like before hrt. I’ve never felt that.

I love my parents despite their flaws and they accepted and are trying to be supportive but… When I made my coming out things were said that was not really ok.

“Better that than a disease or cancer” … I mean REALLY do I have to be compared to cancer or some kind of awful disease.

“Be careful about HIV.” - > everyone should be careful about that. I know where this comes from but… Still.

And the classic : “you’re still my son”

At the end they said child at least when I told then that’s not the goal of my transition.

I understand they are from a different generation still. And somehow that was the best reaction they could have in my mind.

Edit : I gave them some reading to understand a bit better some things. But teaching parents is hard.

I get it too, I just love this new type of arousal so much more. You know I’ve never felt like “Butterflies” before hrt. This feeling is magic. The increased sensitivity…

My needs have changed too, and somehow I get it for the thirsty part, been there and exploring those feeling just slightly.

Hey, not sure this will help.

Basically societaly i have given 0 clues to others that I was trans. Always have been the person people expected me to be. And somehow, after my own revelation (at a drag show 😊) I was like. Damn but there’s a community here actually. They do exist. When I look back a lot of things make sense about my own identity (maybe I do want to link some event to my transidentity but even then? Do I really need to convince myself? Probably a bit deep down.)

Everyone transitioning is valid whatever they lived. If “You” want to do it (I do put emphasis in the you part it is important). Then you should do it. It’s ok not knowing exactly who you want to be. I was stuck a really long time (thick egg shell, but not only.).

Everything escalated quickly after that, even hrt, and well after 3 months and half, no regrets. I love the changes. It gave me motivation to change, weight loss through proper care (not easy everyday still), affirming myself, do things I forbade myself, knowing it wouldn’t be “me” - the image I was reflecting the world - not my inner self… To me it was a liberation.

:3

Honestly good and bad things?

I did some things I could never imagine doing. Not gonna extend on that. I have now, what I consider a best-friend. That was not something I have made in ages. I’ve been on a guilt-trip too and had a day where dysphoria was a bit over the top and had some intrusive thought. (Not too hard things, no worries about that)

My monster contains water right. Right? :3

Boobs rule. Mine will too :3