• Mailman Strongly Hinting He Wants To Be Chased

  • Lower Class Dismissed

  • Cycle Of Violence Running Smoothly

  • Recently Discovered Egyptian Tomb Sure Smells Like Mummies

  • Wrong Spray Merely Freshens Attacker

  • Chardonnay Vomited Into NPR Tote

  • Harlem Globetrotters Keep Basketball Just Out Of Reach Of Make-A-Wish Kid

  • Headlights Caught In Deer

  • Laugh Track Easily Amused

  • Gun Owner Ready For Them

  • SAIC Earns Top Seed In Conceptual Basketball Tournament

  • Coin Flip Disputed

  • Vibrator Left On All Night

  • Everything Riding On Second Flush Attempt

  • Mom Reminds Adult Son It’s His Birthday

  • Movie Under Impression Being ‘A Hulu Original’ A Selling Point

  • Respectful Song Addresses DJ As Mr. DJ

  • Other Guy In Wheelchair Sized Up

  • Married Porn Star Changes Name To Fellatia Juggs-Dunwiddie

  • Area Man Can’t Stop Playing With Piercing


Trump Boys Put Nobel Peace Prize In Microwave

WASHINGTON—Checking to see if the prestigious award was real by placing the medal on the glass turntable and hitting the potato button, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly microwaved the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. “Look, look, I think it’s starting to melt!” said Don Jr., the eldest Trump boy, who pressed his face against the door of the appliance to watch the gold medal slowly rotate as his younger brother begged for his turn to watch. “Bye, bye Abraham Lincoln! We’re going to turn you into slime, and then the Hotel Prize in Appliance [sic] will be ours. Wait, what’s happening?” At press time, sources reported the sobbing Trump boys were telling their father they had no idea how the Nobel Prize got into the fiery microwave.

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