Unfolding
Because people are not meant to be clean and tidy
“I just won’t fold myself up tiny so as not to put off no man.”
— as said by “Mama Fay” in Seven Days in June by Tia Williams
I have been a contortionist for years.
Folding myself up tiny — not just personality, not just identity,
but my voice, too — is how I learned
to behave in public and with people.
It was cramped living
but I made it work.
Going without space —
space to breathe,
space to be,
space to exist,
space to air bathe,
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space to liberate —
I guess it is why I am a clutterphobe.
In homes, I have always
strived to make space for air and light
and gone without materials and objects to clutter.
When you have gone for this long without truly relaxing,
imagine how intoxicating it is for one individual to see you.
They peek into the cavern you are twisted up inside of,
see you there in your discomfort, shame, vulnerability,
and say hey I see your pain, your struggle, and much more
I see you an individual that needs to see light and be celebrated.
You take the hand offered and step out
taking your first steps into authenticity.
You wobble, feel light-headed, and then,
you float.
This, my darling,
is how I felt on our first date.
