1. The person whose mouth is very clean now, I'm sure:
2. The person with the worst luck imaginable:
3. The person whose apple was aged to perfection:
4. The person who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time:
5. The person who learned time's oldest lesson:
6. The person who might want to hire new roofers:
7. The person whose bike shall remain forever locked:
8. The person who learned the hard way about big ol' buckets of paint and convertible roofs:
9. The person whose phone looks like it might as well been sitting in the pharaoh Merenptah's tomb:
10. The person who learned their lesson about eating healthy:
11. The person whose money shall have wrinkles no more:
12. The person who was betrayed by the very fish tank they loved so:
13. The person who gave a little roach a beautiful new home:
14. The person whose cat has absolutely no respect for them:
15. The person whose very fragile box got a very non-fragile treatment:
16. The person with the cleanest AirPod this side of the mighty Mississipp':
17. The person whose phone was dropped into a portal to Hell:
18. The person who bit into the strongest grape around:
19. The person whose air is about to be delicious and yogurt-y:
20. The person who got a little extra cronch in their beer:
21. The person whose car at least is getting some good fresh air:
22. The person who... uh... had to follow this driver:
23. The person who might just want to avoid ever going outside again:
24. And the person who got hit with the dread "sop up oils" text:
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