Skip to playerSkip to main content
The Little Magic
  • 2 years ago

Category

đŸ˜¹
Fun
Transcript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:06 Every autumn throughout the country,
00:32 when the frost is on the pumpkin and the leaves begin to fall,
00:34 there's something stirring in the air.
00:37 Football.
00:40 Well, there they are, Grandpa.
00:42 Present state, number one in the nation.
00:44 Greatest team ever.
00:45 Greatest team?
00:46 Fiddle-faddle.
00:47 My son, when I was a boy, men were men.
00:50 Iron men.
00:51 Why, them fellers could beat any team in the country today.
00:54 Oh, no.
00:55 I bet they couldn't beat this team, Grandpa.
00:57 Couldn't beat?
00:58 Son, that's an idea.
01:01 Let's just see if we can't settle that age-old argument.
01:04 Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're
01:05 about to witness a game which will definitely decide,
01:07 once and for all, which team is better,
01:10 the old-time gladiators of yesterday
01:12 or the modern gridiron heroes of today.
01:14 Now, here's the number one team of today, present state.
01:17 Here's the passing team, the kicking team, defensive team,
01:20 offensive, inoffensive, split T, whole T,
01:23 lift and T, single wing, double wing, broken wing,
01:25 assistant coaches and trainers, tutors and psychologists.
01:29 The old-timers are warming up across the way.
01:33 Bygone's coach fires up his team.
01:36 Win it, do or die, a triumph.
01:41 On the opposite side, present state's coach
01:43 peps up his players.
01:47 All right, you guys, now remember,
01:48 when you get out on that field, the eyes of 40 million people
01:51 will be on you.
01:52 Don't let them down.
01:55 Game time is near.
01:57 The officials are in the center of the field.
01:59 Waiting to meet them is Bygone's captain, John Hamilton
02:01 Smeltsmith, the third or fourth--
02:03 check that, Harry.
02:03 And here are the modern co-captains,
02:05 Rubabalsky, Shadowisky, Ginwisky, Jones, and Squatlowski,
02:11 all set for the flip of the coin.
02:13 Hello, folks.
02:14 Neighbors, Bygone won the toss and will receive.
02:17 The modern press box flashes the news to the whole country.
02:20 Flash, Joe the Toe will come in to kick off for present state.
02:25 Teams are lined up.
02:27 Old timers ready?
02:29 Moderns ready?
02:30 Joe the Toe kicks.
02:36 Ball comes down to Captain Smith.
02:38 The team forms a flying wedge.
02:39 Look at them go.
02:40 They bulldoze across for a touchdown.
02:46 We're six points to the good, folks.
02:48 Now it's seven.
02:54 Hello, hello?
02:54 Count number six calling.
02:57 Hey, coach, try play number XYZ7834 and a half on two.
03:01 Send in team seven with XYZ.
03:04 Team seven?
03:04 Team seven.
03:05 Team seven.
03:05 Team seven.
03:06 The old timers are teeing up for the next kickoff.
03:09 The whistle.
03:12 And he runs it back to the five-yard line.
03:14 They form the huddle.
03:15 Let's go inside the modern huddle.
03:18 While the quarterback runs through his list of plays
03:20 and comes up with a hot number.
03:23 They break out in squirrel cage fashion.
03:25 Speaking of squirrel cages, friends,
03:28 a whirling dervish dishwasher washes while you watch TV.
03:33 Just call Bilgewater 69784--
03:38 6, 2, 1, 3, 9, hike.
03:40 The ball is given to the ball.
03:42 The ball-- where is the ball?
03:46 Oh, the setter still has it.
03:47 Say, that was a fooler.
03:49 Now they're ready.
03:50 Quarterback takes the ball.
03:51 Moderns line charges low.
03:52 Bits the old timers high up in the air.
03:55 Send in team number 12.
03:57 Team number 12.
03:58 Team 12.
04:00 Team number 12 goes in.
04:03 And as team number 11 goes out.
04:04 The new field general receives a handoff.
04:09 He drifts back, cuts loose, and fires a bullet pass.
04:13 He unfakes the defense out of his shoes, and he's over.
04:16 Ouch.
04:17 Well, if Joe the Toe can kick the extra point,
04:21 here's Modern's chance to tie the score.
04:24 Well, there's the gun ending the half.
04:26 And the score is tied.
04:27 Joe's Toe's done it again.
04:29 Let's check the Modern team in its quarters.
04:32 Here, battle-torn jerseys are changed,
04:34 while some are psychoanalyzed.
04:36 Others are vitaminized, and the whole team gets
04:41 steamed up for the second half.
04:43 Across the field, the old timers repair their equipment
04:45 and refresh themselves for the coming struggle.
04:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
04:52 We're all set to start the second half.
04:54 The old timer's ready to receive.
04:55 There's the kick.
04:56 It's a long high, and it's going over the goal.
04:58 Bygone You gets the ball in their 20.
05:04 Now Captain Smith sets himself for the Upsy-Daisy play.
05:06 This is a hard play to handle.
05:08 The ball is passed to Smith, and Smith
05:10 is passed for a short game.
05:13 Old timers lining up for the next play.
05:14 It's a new formation.
05:16 Well, they may be trying to sew up the game with this one.
05:18 The ball is snapped back, and everybody's got one.
05:21 Captain Smith is detected with a real ball,
05:26 but a Modern makes a mustache tackle.
05:27 Well, folks, the old wagon broke down on that one.
05:33 But you can bet your buggy Captain Smith has something
05:36 up his sleeve for the next try.
05:38 The old timers lead now 13 to 7.
05:43 Send in team 65.
05:46 Team 65.
05:47 Team 65.
05:49 Old timer's kick.
05:50 Gin whiskey returns the ball to the 20.
05:52 And now with only seven minutes left,
05:54 Modern must dig deep in their bag of tricks to win.
05:57 Yeah, hello?
05:58 Scout number 8 calling.
06:00 Hey, coach, this is it.
06:01 The perfect spot for play number--
06:03 what?
06:04 Number what?
06:05 What number are you calling, please?
06:08 Deposit $0.25 for 10 minutes, please.
06:11 [CROWD CHEERING]
06:13 [SWISH]
06:14 Oh, you guys got a quarter?
06:16 No, no.
06:17 No, no, no.
06:18 Sorry, mister.
06:19 All I got's dimes.
06:19 It's going to be a wheelie.
06:21 All right, now.
06:22 Let's show that old school spirit.
06:24 Will anybody lend the coach a quarter?
06:25 No!
06:27 What super scientific razzle dazzle
06:29 has the brain trust dreamed up for this last play?
06:31 Why, no.
06:32 It can't be.
06:33 But it is.
06:34 The old time flying wedge.
06:35 [CROWD CHEERING]
06:38 [SWISH]
06:41 Stop 'em!
06:41 Hold 'em!
06:42 [CRASH]
06:44 [CROWD CHEERING]
06:47 [SWISH]
06:48 [WHISTLE]
06:49 They missed the kick, and the score is tied.
06:51 Tied?
06:52 Oh, that reminds me.
06:54 Friends, you'll never be tied, because you always
06:58 win when you own a whirling, dervish dishwasher.
07:03 Just call Billswater 8-4-2-0.
07:09 Well, there you are, son.
07:11 That proves it.
07:12 Proves what, Grandpa?
07:13 That every home should have a whirling, dervish dishwasher.
07:16 And I'm going out and get mine right now.
07:19 [MUSIC PLAYING]
07:22 [MUSIC PLAYING]
07:26 (upbeat music)
Be the first to comment
Add your comment