- 9 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30I'm still here.
00:01:00And so are you.
00:01:06I'm still here.
00:01:36So?
00:01:46You're not going to tell me your name?
00:01:49Don't make it a big thing, Mom.
00:01:50Well, she invited you to hang out.
00:01:52I know that.
00:01:54Hey.
00:01:55Hey.
00:01:56Hey.
00:01:57Guess who just might have a girlfriend?
00:01:58I heard he's got two of them.
00:02:02I didn't say that.
00:02:04Oh, my gosh.
00:02:04You guys are annoying.
00:02:09Good nap?
00:02:10Yeah.
00:02:11Weird dreams.
00:02:13I still have this headache that won't go away.
00:02:16You think you should call out?
00:02:18No.
00:02:18Well, they're probably short-staffed as it is.
00:02:22Speaking of which, have you seen my ID anywhere?
00:02:25Yeah, this is what happens now that you're only volunteering twice a year.
00:02:28She gave me a hard time a little bit more with you.
00:02:31Guilt trip, man.
00:02:32Yeah.
00:02:33Yeah.
00:02:33Yeah.
00:02:55Yeah.
00:02:56what's he doing tonight he said he's hanging out at a friend's house down the street what about you
00:03:09you're still gonna do that work thing i decided to ditch it and go to my sister's she's having
00:03:14her annual shindig it's quite a hike isn't it i know i just i feel like i owe her a visit
00:03:19check out the invitation she sent julia's new year's eight bonanza well you can't miss that
00:03:27this came from your brother i was thinking of putting him on the fridge
00:03:30where are those sweaters i think the sweaters are cute dad did you get the lakers tickets yet
00:03:39no not yet i'm still working on it if you give me your card i can order them because they're
00:03:46gonna sell out no no i'm gonna do it oh um i almost forgot i had coffee with matt chauvin's
00:03:54yesterday he asked to read your book it's really not that type of thing you know well he was thrilled
00:04:02to give you notes so i i sent it to him is that a problem no look it's uh he's just a big time
00:04:12fiction writer you know and you asked him to read my dumb little memoir wow okay no more goodwill
00:04:18gestures for me appreciate it tracy hoover was given the liver of a nine-year-old accident
00:04:26you've reached andrew please leave a message and i'll get back to you maybe brother it's me
00:04:54just calling to say happy new year i got those photos you sent thanks for those
00:05:00um anyway give me a call back let's catch up
00:05:05because i'm at work right now you cannot just drop this on me last minute ty it's new year's eve
00:05:32fine no i just can't argue about it right now you know what i'll figure it out
00:05:42steven hi how are you good good to see you how are you uh you know same old same old not interrupting
00:05:53am i no that was just my ex-husband dropping the ball again i actually have to go and get my kids he got
00:05:59the state's all messed up and now it's impossible to find a sitter actually i think it's just going
00:06:04to be you here most of the night cindy's off at 11. oh uh okay i'm so sorry steven i know it's a lot
00:06:10from one person but i just no no no no it's fine it's fine go be with you kids it's okay
00:06:14you're a lifesaver come on you're the hero i'm the one who sold out and went into private practice
00:06:20okay well at least use my desk i do have a nice chair thank you all right all right
00:06:26lifeline
00:06:37hello hello i don't want to talk about myself okay i understand
00:06:48hello
00:06:52lifeline
00:07:12it's uh it's okay if you're not ready to talk but uh can i get your name at least
00:07:27mary mary hi mary i'm steven
00:07:35i don't really know how this works well it's uh really whatever you feel like you need
00:07:45what made you call in this evening and there's no right answer to that i didn't want to feel like
00:07:53this i want it to be over
00:07:56but please don't tell the police where i am because they'll
00:08:03no no no no no no no i won't i promise this call is anonymous so you don't have to worry about that okay
00:08:09okay
00:08:13okay i'd just like to talk a little bit about how you're feeling
00:08:16did uh did something happen at home tonight
00:08:19maybe a fight with family or uh yeah yeah yeah can you tell me a little bit about that
00:08:32um
00:08:35it's different
00:08:38i had it's been all over the place and no one i know gets it so i got these pills
00:08:47you have the pills with you now
00:08:50awesome
00:08:54their first week in depression but i figured if i take enough
00:08:58well i'm really hoping you don't do that mary
00:09:01there's no other way i don't have a choice
00:09:04why do you say that
00:09:06what
00:09:08when you say that you don't feel like you have a choice what do you mean by that
00:09:11mary can you can you tell me where you are right now are you at home
00:09:18no i'm in palm springs my husband rented a house here for the holidays
00:09:24but he knows that you've been having a hard time
00:09:27what
00:09:31but he knows that you've been hurting
00:09:35mary
00:09:39i don't trust him he's the reason i'm
00:09:42the the reason that you uh that you feel like hurting yourself
00:09:49yeah i
00:09:51he drove us out here because i was having problems
00:09:55there was a medication change i went through recently and i told him i was in therapy and he got really mad
00:10:03how come
00:10:05i don't think i can talk much longer
00:10:07why not
00:10:10mary is it because you're worried about your husband finding out
00:10:14yeah
00:10:16has your husband ever hurt you
00:10:21no
00:10:24i don't
00:10:25but i'm afraid of him it's hard to explain
00:10:34no no i think i understand um
00:10:37but i gotta say things um they sound really tense over there tonight so
00:10:43i'd like to come up with a safe word or uh or phrase
00:10:46in case your husband comes home and we're still talking
00:10:49what do you mean what it
00:10:51it's just a way for you to let me know that you're feeling unsafe so it
00:10:56it doesn't trigger your husband
00:10:58can we do that
00:11:00okay
00:11:01fine yeah
00:11:02okay great
00:11:03so the best thing to do is to pick a word or a phrase that's really easy to bring up in a conversation
00:11:13like he's so wonderful or something
00:11:16yeah
00:11:17yeah that's great
00:11:18he's so wonderful works that's great and you remember that right
00:11:21just in case
00:11:22yeah
00:11:23okay
00:11:24i don't know
00:11:25it feels really risky
00:11:28mary listen
00:11:30i i just want to do whatever we can to
00:11:32i should hang up
00:11:33no no no mary mary
00:11:35wait wait are you still there
00:11:37if we can get you someplace safe tonight
00:11:39away from your husband
00:11:41okay
00:11:43okay
00:11:44just until your therapist is available
00:11:48do you think that you could hold off on maybe taking those pills
00:11:55i i don't know maybe
00:11:57maybe
00:11:58well can you give me your address
00:12:00and i just feel better if we got you out of that situation
00:12:07away from him
00:12:10578 flamingo drive
00:12:12578 flamingo drive
00:12:13and you said you're in palm springs right
00:12:15well honestly i i think it'd be easier to just send it
00:12:19mary
00:12:20mary
00:12:21mary
00:12:22it just keeps happening
00:12:23i know that
00:12:24listen i understand mary i i understand
00:12:26listen
00:12:28but that would be
00:12:32that would be a really big mistake and one that you cannot take back
00:12:36do you understand that
00:12:39mary
00:12:40mary
00:12:41mary
00:12:42mary
00:12:43mary
00:12:44mary
00:12:45mary
00:12:46mary
00:12:47mary
00:12:48mary
00:12:49mary
00:12:50mary
00:12:51mary
00:12:52mary
00:12:53mary
00:12:54mary
00:12:55mary
00:12:56mary
00:12:57mary
00:12:58mary
00:12:59mary
00:13:00mary
00:13:01mary
00:13:02mary
00:13:03mary
00:13:04mary
00:13:05mary
00:13:06mary
00:13:07mary
00:13:08mary
00:13:09Lifeline, how can I help you today?
00:13:38Mm-hmm.
00:13:39And give that hot bath a try, okay?
00:13:55Yeah, you too.
00:14:15Lifeline.
00:14:15Sorry, I'm sick.
00:14:21Okay.
00:14:22Well, that's okay, but this line is specifically for mental health purposes, so...
00:14:27So what?
00:14:30Well, if you, uh, if you have a cold, then you should talk to a doctor or, um, someone more
00:14:39qualified than me.
00:14:40No, I mean, I also want to kill myself.
00:14:44Okay, that is something that we should talk about.
00:14:50Can you hold on a second?
00:14:52Sure.
00:14:57Listen, if this is a prank call, I'm going to hang up, okay?
00:15:00Okay?
00:15:00Julia, what are you two doing?
00:15:09Yeah, that's right.
00:15:12Bye-bye.
00:15:28Bye-bye.
00:15:29you all right oh yeah it's just a little coffee burn thanks how's your night going
00:15:51pretty good feels like it's been non-stop yeah i'm gonna make a little coffee you want some
00:15:57lifeline
00:15:59lifeline
00:16:22hi uh my wife mary called a little while ago my name's jason
00:16:26okay yeah hi she uh you know well i'll let her explain she's right here
00:16:36hello
00:16:38hi mary it's steven
00:16:41um yeah i just wanted to call and say i was sorry about before
00:16:49my meds they just make me think crazy thoughts and
00:16:55mary is your husband there with you right now
00:17:00uh-huh yeah
00:17:04he's so wonderful
00:17:09well thanks for letting me know you're okay and have a good rest of your night
00:17:16yeah happy new year
00:17:19you too
00:17:22fall springs police department what's your emergency
00:17:33hi my name is steven thomas and i'm a hotline responder at the lifeline call center
00:17:38there's a lady in your area at 578 flamingo drive and i believe that there's a possible uh domestic
00:17:45violence situation with her husband
00:17:49all right let me put you through to an officer on patrol
00:17:52hang on
00:17:59this is officer fredericks with the palm springs pd you were reporting a domestic violence case
00:18:08yes she's at 578 flamingo drive
00:18:13that's the address dispatched in us is there a number i can reach you at
00:18:17sure my cell is seven one seven five five five six four five five great i'll give you a call
00:18:25back once we get eyes on her what was the name again mary i didn't get a last name okay well we're
00:18:32on our way now great i appreciate it
00:18:47we're on our way now great
00:19:12so
00:19:17Lifeline.
00:19:38I'm going to kill myself.
00:19:41Okay.
00:19:43Can you tell me a little bit about why?
00:19:47That wouldn't make sense.
00:19:53Well, I'd like to try and understand.
00:19:56I'm in no rush.
00:20:02Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
00:20:05Like what?
00:20:07You, um, you have a job.
00:20:10Are you a student?
00:20:12I go to UCLA.
00:20:14Oh, yeah?
00:20:15I went there.
00:20:17I mean, a while ago, but, um, what's your name?
00:20:23Steven.
00:20:24Steven.
00:20:26That's my name, too.
00:20:28Where are you right now, Steven?
00:20:31In a motel.
00:20:34I bought a gun.
00:20:35I got to be honest with you, Steven.
00:20:44Guns make me really nervous in this kind of situation.
00:20:48Did you tell anyone else where you are?
00:20:52I...
00:20:52I tried to tell my girlfriend, but, er, ex-girlfriend, but we just got into a fight, so.
00:21:03I'm sorry to hear that.
00:21:05What's your girlfriend's name?
00:21:11It's Vivian, but everybody calls her Viv.
00:21:13And you said your name is Steven?
00:21:17Yeah.
00:21:18What's your last name?
00:21:20Thomas.
00:21:23So, uh, so, uh, you wouldn't happen to have gone to, uh, Woodrow Wilson High School, did you?
00:21:31Yeah, how did you know that?
00:21:33I'm gonna put you on hold for just a second, all right?
00:21:48Hello?
00:21:49Hey, it's me.
00:21:50Dad?
00:21:51Yeah, nice work with that, uh, prank call there.
00:21:54What?
00:21:55That was good.
00:21:56Did you get your mom in on that, too?
00:21:58Dad, I seriously have no idea what you're talking about.
00:22:01But so, the guy that called in claiming to be me, you knew nothing about that?
00:22:06No.
00:22:09And, Dad, it's really loud here right now, so...
00:22:12Okay.
00:22:13All right, well, we'll talk about this later.
00:22:15Okay, bye.
00:22:24Hey, so, uh, so listen, buddy.
00:22:26You seriously just put me on hold?
00:22:28I came here to blow my brains out, and you're too fucking busy to stay on the phone with me?
00:22:32Okay, okay, hey, listen, listen, listen.
00:22:34I'm sorry, I'm sorry that...
00:22:35You're right.
00:22:36That was wrong with me.
00:22:38I apologize.
00:22:42Whatever.
00:22:43It doesn't matter.
00:22:44I...
00:22:45It's happening no matter what, so...
00:22:47When you say it's happening, you mean...
00:22:52I mean, I'm going to kill myself.
00:22:55I've already decided.
00:22:59But you haven't done it yet, and that's a great thing.
00:23:02I told myself midnight.
00:23:06Is there a reason that you gave yourself a time?
00:23:08I don't know.
00:23:10It helps when I have a goal, I guess.
00:23:13Well, you seem pretty determined.
00:23:15Did you get the gun for this purpose?
00:23:20Yeah.
00:23:22It's either I use it on myself or on...
00:23:26On who?
00:23:30Doesn't matter.
00:23:32Too much of a coward to do that.
00:23:35You always knew that about me.
00:23:38I only call because I don't want to be alone when I do it.
00:23:40I said this hotline was anonymous, so I...
00:23:44I figured if I told anyone else, they'd call the cops.
00:23:46Well, that's not going to happen with me, but I got to be honest with you.
00:23:49This, uh...
00:23:51This worries me, Steven.
00:23:53But you're not going to call it, though, right?
00:23:55No.
00:23:55Because if I hear one fucking siren...
00:23:56No, no, I'm not going to call the cops.
00:23:58I just want to keep talking to you, okay?
00:24:00That's it.
00:24:01Can we do that?
00:24:04Yeah.
00:24:06Okay.
00:24:08As long as you know it won't matter.
00:24:10We can't change what's happening.
00:24:15What specifically do you feel like you can't change?
00:24:20I...
00:24:20I just mean generally.
00:24:22I...
00:24:22I feel like we all believe we're in control.
00:24:25When we aren't.
00:24:27So you feel powerless?
00:24:29I don't feel.
00:24:30I am.
00:24:30I am fucking powerless.
00:24:32That's why I know nothing matters.
00:24:35I know people say that all the time, but...
00:24:37It's true.
00:24:38It's like the only thing that's true.
00:24:40That nothing matters.
00:24:43We're all just talking to ourselves.
00:24:46Telling ourselves the same things over and over.
00:24:49Putting meaning into every little.
00:24:52We're pretending to be people we are, all of us.
00:24:54Acting like everything's perfect and normal.
00:24:57And what I did, I can't...
00:25:03What did you do?
00:25:05I mean...
00:25:10What did I let happen?
00:25:15Good boy.
00:25:16What did you let happen?
00:25:22Stephen.
00:25:23Forget it.
00:25:26Stephen.
00:25:28Once I do this, I'll be free.
00:25:32I mean, it's all insane.
00:25:35And if the whole world is insane...
00:25:37Then why is it insane to want to end my life?
00:25:42I think it would be tragic.
00:25:45But insane?
00:25:48I don't know.
00:25:49You see, there's part of me that can understand the feeling that the whole world is rigged against us.
00:25:58Right?
00:25:59And no matter how hard we try, life just keeps putting obstacles in our way.
00:26:03I mean, sometimes worse, sometimes things feel like they're so bad that it is too much for one person to take on.
00:26:15Alone, at least.
00:26:20But that's why you called in.
00:26:24And I think that's great.
00:26:31Stephen.
00:26:33Are you still with me?
00:27:03Hi, this is Vivian.
00:27:10Please leave a message.
00:27:12Hey, it's me.
00:27:14Just had a call that threw me for a loop.
00:27:19Give me a call when you get it.
00:27:21I love you.
00:27:21Hey, I'm so sorry.
00:27:30I know you're about to head out, but I need to run down to the restroom downstairs.
00:27:32Uh, can you cover for me for just a sec?
00:27:35Yeah.
00:27:36Sure.
00:27:37Hmm?
00:27:43Hello?
00:27:44Hi.
00:27:44It's Officer Fredericks.
00:27:46Oh, yeah.
00:27:46This is my cell.
00:27:48I just wanted to follow up.
00:27:49We arrested the victim's husband you called in about, a, uh, Jason.
00:27:53Oh, okay.
00:27:54And, uh, and how's Mary?
00:27:56She was worked up, for sure.
00:27:58And we had an ambulance take her to the hospital since her head was injured pretty bad.
00:28:02Oh, my goodness.
00:28:04But, hey.
00:28:06It's great you called.
00:28:08Who knows how bad things could have gotten if we hadn't showed up.
00:28:11Well, thank you.
00:28:13I'll give you a call this week, since we'll need a full statement.
00:28:16For sure.
00:28:17This is the best number to reach you at?
00:28:19Uh, yes, it is.
00:28:21Okay.
00:28:22You have a good rest of your night, sir.
00:28:24You too.
00:28:24Happy New Year.
00:28:31Hey, there.
00:28:38I'm just going to use your restroom really quick, all right?
00:28:40Key is on the desk, right there.
00:29:01You're going to listen to me.
00:29:16You're going to listen to me.
00:29:31What was that?
00:29:33Damn gunshot victim.
00:29:35Those doctors, there's a hospital nearby?
00:29:37Yeah, next door in the West Tower.
00:29:40Tell you, a bunch of strange happenings going on in this block.
00:29:44Man.
00:29:46You on eight, right?
00:29:47Yeah.
00:29:48Yeah, you'll probably see me around here later on.
00:29:50Graveyard shit for us, huh?
00:29:52Man, it gets lonely around here on New Year's Eve.
00:29:54Tell you.
00:29:56But I don't believe this.
00:30:00Is this happening upstairs, too?
00:30:02Yeah, there's something similar.
00:30:04Must have been from that earthquake earlier.
00:30:07We had one?
00:30:08Yeah, you didn't feel it?
00:30:09Must have missed it.
00:30:12Hey, thanks again.
00:30:14No problem.
00:30:15Happy New Year.
00:30:15You too.
00:30:18Andrew.
00:30:21Hey, man.
00:30:22Sorry, I just got your message.
00:30:24Uh, no worries.
00:30:25Yeah, it's crazy.
00:30:27It's almost midnight here.
00:30:28Uh, the boys somehow have more energy than me.
00:30:31Yeah, they look really big in the photos you sent.
00:30:33Yeah.
00:30:34Tell me about it.
00:30:36Hey, I, uh, I was meaning to call you earlier this week.
00:30:39You know, it's just, it's been a little...
00:30:41No, no, no.
00:30:42I get it.
00:30:43I get it.
00:30:44It's weird.
00:30:45Uh, I've been thinking about Mom and Dad recently.
00:30:50And, uh, I don't know.
00:30:53It's, uh, it's like memories of them.
00:30:56They're fading, you know?
00:30:57Like, I can only remember them in bits and pieces now.
00:31:03Sorry, I, I don't know what I'm trying to say.
00:31:05No, I, I get it.
00:31:06It's the same for me.
00:31:07You know, it feels like it's easier to block things out most of the time.
00:31:11Yeah, I've been thinking about it, too.
00:31:15I mean, how can we not on a night like tonight, you know?
00:31:20You remember that time when Dad took Mom on that trip and left us alone for the weekend?
00:31:25And didn't tell us where they were going or anything and they just left?
00:31:29Yeah.
00:31:32Yeah, I remember that.
00:31:33You said something to me I've never forgotten.
00:31:49What if he kills her?
00:31:54I know they came back a few days later.
00:31:56She was okay, but...
00:31:59Yeah, and then with me going so far away for college...
00:32:03We'd never talked about it, but...
00:32:07I could have done more.
00:32:10I know that.
00:32:13Hey, Steve, hang on one sec.
00:32:16Honey?
00:32:18Boys, I'm sorry.
00:32:21We're closing in on midnight here.
00:32:24Yeah, no, I, uh, I gotta run, too.
00:32:27I'm at work, so...
00:32:29Hey, but, uh, let's find a time to talk more, you know?
00:32:32But I'm not being used as a jungle gym.
00:32:35Yeah, for sure.
00:32:36Let's go, let's get your food.
00:32:42Okay.
00:32:44Let's go.
00:32:44Mm-hmm.
00:32:44All right.
00:32:48All right.
00:32:50Mm-hmm.
00:32:52All right.
00:32:53Mm-hmm.
00:32:54Mm-hmm.
00:32:57Mm-hmm.
00:32:57Mm-hmm.
00:32:58Mm-hmm.
00:33:00Mm-hmm.
00:33:01Mm-hmm.
00:33:02Mm-hmm.
00:33:02Mm-hmm.
00:33:04Hello.
00:33:24Steven, hi.
00:33:26It's Matt Chauvin's, a colleague of your wife's.
00:33:29Yeah.
00:33:30Hi, how are you?
00:33:31I'm good.
00:33:32I'm good, I'm good.
00:33:33Yourself?
00:33:35I'm great.
00:33:36Funny, I'm actually looking at your Wikipedia page.
00:33:41No kidding.
00:33:43Yeah, I heard that Vivian sent my draft to you.
00:33:48So sorry, I just didn't expect to hear from you so soon.
00:33:51Well, good writers seek out other good writers, whenever they can.
00:33:55Hey, you're the professional, I'm just a wannabe.
00:33:58Now please, don't sell yourself short.
00:34:00Well, I'll admit, by the end of college, I was dead set on either being a psychologist or a sci-fi writer, so, you know.
00:34:09Oh, yeah?
00:34:09Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be one or the other.
00:34:11Hello?
00:34:24Uh, sorry, did you, uh, did you feel that earthquake?
00:34:30No, no, it must have not hit us here in the valley.
00:34:33Hey, are you all right?
00:34:35Uh, yeah.
00:34:38Yeah, all good.
00:34:41Good.
00:34:43So, I know it's New Year's Eve.
00:34:46I hope I'm not interrupting.
00:34:48No, not at the moment.
00:34:50Well, I had to call.
00:34:52Because, honestly, I'm reading this memoir and I'm on the edge of my seat.
00:34:56I couldn't put it down.
00:34:57Really?
00:35:00That, uh, that means a lot.
00:35:03Yeah, no, it's gripping stuff.
00:35:06I really can't wait to read the rest.
00:35:10Well, I figured it was more or less finished, page count-wise.
00:35:14Huh.
00:35:15So, I'm just gonna give you my personal opinion.
00:35:17You can take it, you can leave it, but...
00:35:19No, no, please.
00:35:20I, uh, I'd love the feedback.
00:35:21Well, it feels like you stopped short right as things with your father start heating up.
00:35:33I trust you.
00:35:37But the way you set everything up until this point, the father-son dynamic.
00:35:42Yeah, I just figured there was more to explore with that relationship.
00:35:47With my father, um, okay?
00:35:51Because I, I don't think I really got into our relationship until around Chapter 8 or so.
00:35:57Huh.
00:35:58Vivian must have sent me an earlier manuscript.
00:36:01This copy ends at Chapter 5.
00:36:03I, I actually have the latest draft emailed to myself and I can forward that to you right now.
00:36:13Yeah, that'd be great.
00:36:14The writing is terrific.
00:36:22And your teenage years, I mean, phew, it's harrowing, honestly.
00:36:28Yeah, I just end up sticking to sci-fi and political thrillers.
00:36:31Maybe I'm too afraid of getting personal.
00:36:33Man, I'm sorry.
00:36:38I, I've got to call you right back.
00:36:40Oh, uh, okay.
00:36:42Let's, uh, let's talk later.
00:36:44Hey, Viv.
00:36:45Hey, sorry.
00:36:46I just got your message.
00:36:47It's all right.
00:36:48It's no problem.
00:36:49Have you talked to Jeff?
00:36:50Uh, yeah, I talked to him about an hour ago.
00:36:54He was, uh, still at the party.
00:36:56Why?
00:36:57He hasn't responded to my text.
00:36:59Really?
00:37:00I mean, I know he's just down the street, but I've been trying to check in.
00:37:04Oh, hang on.
00:37:05I just texted.
00:37:07He's saying I'll be home by 12.30 at the latest.
00:37:11You're great.
00:37:12And how was your party?
00:37:14Uh, I left early.
00:37:16I'm actually on the road now.
00:37:18That much fun, huh?
00:37:19No, it was fine.
00:37:21It was good to see Julia.
00:37:22She spent at least an hour telling embarrassing stories from when we were young.
00:37:26How was everything on your end?
00:37:28Your voicemail sounded...
00:37:29No, I think I just wanted to hear your voice.
00:37:32You know?
00:37:35Conversations tonight got me thinking.
00:37:37Yeah?
00:37:38Yeah.
00:37:38About what?
00:37:41Us.
00:37:42The past.
00:37:44Oh.
00:37:45Not the past.
00:37:47Yeah, that little old thing.
00:37:49I just think there's, uh, things I've forgotten, you know?
00:37:59Senior year of college.
00:38:01And, uh, maybe before.
00:38:05Tell me what you remember about us.
00:38:08About us?
00:38:09Wow.
00:38:10Yeah.
00:38:10Yeah.
00:38:11Yeah, from the beginning.
00:38:16No, I hope you haven't forgotten that much.
00:38:20No, I'm just in a reflective moment.
00:38:24And I am writing a memoir.
00:38:26Supposedly, anyway.
00:38:27Yeah, that's true.
00:38:30So?
00:38:31Well, we first met in a psych class, but I don't think we started dating until physics, I think.
00:38:42We ended up getting partnered together for a final.
00:38:45That paper we wrote.
00:38:47God, why do I always forget the name?
00:38:50The Mini Worlds one.
00:38:53Yeah, yeah, that one.
00:38:55Which, by the way, I found that stashed at home earlier today.
00:38:59You kept that?
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02Yeah, probably just sentimental value, I guess.
00:39:05Yeah, I hadn't thought about that until today.
00:39:08Yeah.
00:39:09I don't know why I held on to it.
00:39:10I just felt like we got through some tough times that year, so.
00:39:15But, yeah, that paper, it was way above our heads.
00:39:21We were trying to prove that parallel universes existed, or something like that.
00:39:26I remember you had doubts.
00:39:29Yeah, that sounds like me.
00:39:33We got all philosophical that first night, working on the take-home, debating whether life was deterministic.
00:39:41You had this relentless belief in free will.
00:39:45And that, among other things, is why I fell in love with you.
00:39:53What do you mean by we, um, we got through tough times that year?
00:40:00Well, you know.
00:40:02I mean, I don't even want to think about it now, but.
00:40:07What?
00:40:09No, it just, it's hard to think about how close things came to ending.
00:40:13What do you mean, ending?
00:40:17Just us.
00:40:19Everything.
00:40:20The day in the car.
00:40:29It was a few weeks after you first told me about the scars.
00:40:34On your back.
00:40:35Where they really came from.
00:40:42Go get our room.
00:40:51You were so afraid to talk about it back then.
00:40:53No crying.
00:41:10I killed it.
00:41:10Oh.
00:41:11Oh.
00:41:11Oh.
00:41:11Oh.
00:41:12Oh.
00:41:12Oh.
00:41:12Oh.
00:41:12Oh.
00:41:12Oh.
00:41:13Oh.
00:41:13Oh.
00:41:14Oh.
00:41:15Oh.
00:41:15Oh.
00:41:16Oh.
00:41:16Don't cry.
00:41:22Quiet, Steven.
00:41:42The number you dialed is not a service.
00:41:46Hello?
00:41:52Jeff?
00:41:54Sorry, man, you got the wrong number.
00:41:57Come on, I know this is Jeff's number. I'm his father.
00:42:04Hey, you've reached Tyler. Leave a message.
00:42:16I'm sorry.
00:42:17I'm sure he's got the wrong number.
00:42:20He's got the wrong number.
00:42:22The two of us are dead.
00:42:24He's got the wrong number.
00:42:26I'm sorry.
00:42:27You've got the wrong number.
00:42:28I'm sorry.
00:42:29I'm sorry.
00:42:30Just go.
00:43:00Lifeline.
00:43:13It's me again.
00:43:16Steven?
00:43:18Yeah.
00:43:21I'm glad you called back.
00:43:24You still in the motel?
00:43:26Yeah.
00:43:27Do you believe in the afterlife?
00:43:34Well, um, I'm not religious, so in that sense, no.
00:43:42You know, as a kid, the idea of the afterlife scared me.
00:43:47Even reincarnation.
00:43:52What do you think?
00:43:55It's like that Greek myth, Sisyphus.
00:43:57You know that one?
00:43:59Yeah, I do.
00:43:59The guy that pushes the rock up the hill over and over.
00:44:04Sometimes I think that's all life is.
00:44:07These endless cycles of pain that we all just accept.
00:44:11I wanted to know that when we die, that it's just over.
00:44:14Just blackness, no more consciousness, no more pain.
00:44:18Is that something you find comforting?
00:44:21Finality, yeah.
00:44:28I hate the idea that there could be two possible outcomes.
00:44:33Death just feels like it should be so definitive.
00:44:38Like it's the one thing you can't cheat.
00:44:40What I told you, I don't think it's an insane thought to contemplate death or even think about taking your own life.
00:44:48But I think with what you have going on, Steven, that this is...
00:44:55Stop.
00:44:57Stop what?
00:44:58Just get it through your fucking head that you're not going to talk me down.
00:45:02I'm not calling you to be fucking saved.
00:45:05You should treat this like it's already happened.
00:45:09What's already happened?
00:45:11Yeah, because there's no stopping it.
00:45:13I'm killing myself at midnight, like I said.
00:45:16But I agree, obviously, that it's not insane to think about it.
00:45:26It's insane if you don't think about killing yourself.
00:45:30Honestly, I think everyone, every person on Earth is just doing therapy with themselves constantly.
00:45:38I mean, one part of our brain telling another part not to kill ourselves.
00:45:44That there's some reason to keep...
00:45:48That's an interesting way of looking at life.
00:45:52Maybe a little cynical, but I think it makes sense.
00:45:54I don't know, it's so weird that I'm even telling this.
00:45:58What, calling in tonight?
00:46:01Yeah.
00:46:03I've always hated talking about myself to other people.
00:46:06Especially when I'm in a bad place.
00:46:09Well, I'm happy that you did, because I'm a big believer...
00:46:12In talking things out.
00:46:14I think it helps.
00:46:17You know, when I was younger, I think I was a lot like you, and I didn't talk about anything.
00:46:24Even my first girlfriend in college, I never told her anything personal.
00:46:28I was never vulnerable.
00:46:31If you can't talk to me, then...
00:46:33Then I can't do this anymore.
00:46:37Then go.
00:46:40Steven.
00:46:41Just go.
00:46:44You know, I've taken a few psych classes, so you don't have to bullshit me.
00:46:48I'm not.
00:46:49Yeah, you just ran a bond with me.
00:46:51I know how it works.
00:46:53I'm sorry it came across that way, but...
00:46:56I do believe I can relate to what you're saying.
00:47:00How do you do it?
00:47:02Do what?
00:47:05I don't know, stay optimistic while taking calls from people like me.
00:47:09I mean, when you go home, what?
00:47:12You just shut it off and forget about it?
00:47:15I wish it was that easy.
00:47:18So what?
00:47:18You get high or something?
00:47:20No.
00:47:21Well, I have, uh...
00:47:27I have been known to finish off a bottle of wine when I get home from time to time.
00:47:33But, um...
00:47:34I'm lucky to have people in my life I can rely on.
00:47:41Yeah.
00:47:43That's the thing about luck.
00:47:44No one wants to talk about it.
00:47:45You really feel like you don't have anyone you can rely on?
00:47:56You're not after what you've done to me.
00:48:04You're a father?
00:48:11Mike, you never, ever...
00:48:14Sorry, I'll listen.
00:48:15Mom.
00:48:17You're gonna listen now?
00:48:19I won't have money.
00:48:20Huh?
00:48:21Please.
00:48:22Mom, I won't have money.
00:48:27Your girlfriend.
00:48:31Tell me more about her.
00:48:35Vivian's her name, you said, right?
00:48:40Yeah.
00:48:40Um, we've been dating since we were sophomores, so a couple years.
00:48:49I always thought she was out of my league.
00:48:53Don't surprise me. She asked me out.
00:48:57I know you said that you guys had a fight.
00:49:02But she seems like someone you've confided in before.
00:49:06Or trusted.
00:49:08I told you.
00:49:10I, I can't trust anyone.
00:49:17Not after what he's done to me.
00:49:19Are you father?
00:49:28Are you father?
00:49:41I am, yeah.
00:49:46You seem like you'd be a good one.
00:49:50I feel like that's rare.
00:49:55Can we talk about your dad for a minute?
00:49:59Because he seems like a pretty hard guy to have for a parent.
00:50:11You could say that.
00:50:13Did he abuse you?
00:50:19But he's always disguised as love.
00:50:29He's always with me.
00:50:31His voice.
00:50:32I hear it even now.
00:50:35I feel him hovering over me all the time.
00:50:46Like one day he's telling me how proud he is of me.
00:50:48I...
00:50:49One day he's telling me how proud he is of me.
00:50:52In what?
00:50:54Fuck it.
00:50:57It doesn't matter.
00:50:58No, it does.
00:50:59It does matter.
00:51:00Fuck it.
00:51:04It doesn't matter.
00:51:05No, it does. It does matter.
00:51:06What were you going to say?
00:51:09Nothing.
00:51:10Steven.
00:51:15Steven, can we push back this deadline that you've set?
00:51:19Can we do that?
00:51:22No.
00:51:24I can't.
00:51:25I can't just let him eat away at me, little pilot.
00:51:28Then let's talk about that a little bit more.
00:51:30No, I can't fucking think straight.
00:51:34I just want you to fucking talk about something else, okay?
00:51:36All right, I'm sorry.
00:51:37Then let's talk about something else.
00:51:39We can talk about whatever you want, okay?
00:51:43But there's one thing that I need to know, Steven.
00:51:50Do you have the gun in your hand right now?
00:51:58It's Officer Frederick.
00:52:03I know that you're all alone in a motel, and you're sounding really depressed.
00:52:11And you told me that you have a gun.
00:52:28I know that you're in the Red Palm Motel.
00:52:36I didn't tell you that.
00:52:38Yes, you did.
00:52:39How did you?
00:52:40You told me that.
00:52:41You told me where you...
00:52:41I just forgot the room.
00:52:43No, I didn't.
00:52:43I just forgot the room.
00:52:44Just tell me the room.
00:52:45I didn't tell you my room number either.
00:52:48Steven, I don't want you to die.
00:52:49Can you just tell me where you are?
00:52:51Please.
00:52:54Just so I know.
00:52:55But it's room 15, all right?
00:53:08But I told you if you call the cops...
00:53:10I know.
00:53:11I know.
00:53:11If you hear any sirens, you're going to kill yourself.
00:53:13And I don't want that, Steven.
00:53:18But I was thinking.
00:53:21What if I came?
00:53:22Not the cops, just me.
00:53:26It'll take me a little bit to drive out there, but I can be there.
00:53:29No, no, no.
00:53:30There's no time.
00:53:31Just stop, okay?
00:53:32Just stop.
00:53:32Okay, okay.
00:53:33Then just...
00:53:34It's important for me to know where you are, okay?
00:53:37And I'm just confirming.
00:53:38You said the Red Palm Motel, room 15, correct?
00:53:41What?
00:53:42Why do you keep asking?
00:53:43I said it doesn't matter.
00:53:44I'm sorry.
00:53:44You're right.
00:53:45I won't ask again, okay?
00:53:46Okay.
00:53:46Okay.
00:53:52Tell me a story.
00:54:11A story?
00:54:15One from when you were a kid.
00:54:16That's the only good memory I have of my dad.
00:54:23He'd read to me when I was little.
00:54:27He really enjoyed that for some reason.
00:54:34Steven.
00:54:37Hey, Steven.
00:54:39I have to do it.
00:54:40I'm sorry.
00:54:41No, no.
00:54:42Hold on.
00:54:43Hold on.
00:54:43I know it's really hard right now, but I need you to stick with me for just a little longer, okay?
00:54:48Because I really think that I fully understand what you're going through.
00:54:50You couldn't.
00:54:52No, I do.
00:54:53No.
00:54:53No.
00:54:55I do.
00:54:59Your father.
00:55:02I know.
00:55:05I know everything.
00:55:08Your mother.
00:55:08I know her, too.
00:55:11What?
00:55:11I know what happened to her, and how you blame yourself.
00:55:23I don't.
00:55:24How do you?
00:55:26I just know, Steven.
00:55:31No, you can't.
00:55:32You can't know him, does.
00:55:34He...
00:55:34He covered it up, and he forced you to lie.
00:55:38I don't know.
00:55:38I don't know.
00:55:41I'm going to have to tell the police what happened.
00:55:48Can I trust you?
00:55:50And then when she was gone, and your brother went away to college, he turned to you.
00:55:58He started hurting you.
00:56:00He made you powerless, but you're not, Steven.
00:56:02Yes, I am.
00:56:04I told you we all are.
00:56:05It's not your fault.
00:56:06You did everything you could to protect your mom, especially for being a kid.
00:56:10And everything your father did to you.
00:56:26I know the effects it had on you.
00:56:33We can protect you from him.
00:56:34We can fix this without.
00:56:41You don't have to do this, Steven.
00:56:43How do you know all this about me?
00:56:45I know it's strange.
00:56:47I know it's strange.
00:56:49But I'm here to tell you there's hope.
00:56:51And no matter how bad you're feeling right now, those feelings, they're survivable.
00:56:55And I know that because I've seen it, Steven.
00:56:58I've seen it.
00:56:59I can't.
00:57:04I can't.
00:57:05Yeah, you can't.
00:57:06I'm sorry.
00:57:07No.
00:57:09Just stay with me.
00:57:10It's easy.
00:57:10Just stay.
00:57:15Steven, are you here?
00:57:20I have to.
00:57:22No, you don't.
00:57:22I'm sorry.
00:57:23Because you have a future.
00:57:25I promise you.
00:57:26I promise you that there's a future with people who love you.
00:57:29I promise you, Steven, these people are...
00:57:31Oh, my.
00:57:49Oh.
00:57:50Oh, my gosh.
00:57:51Oh, my gosh.
00:57:55Oh, my gosh.
00:57:55Hello?
00:58:05Hi, yeah.
00:58:07Hey, just wanted to stay on the line to confirm.
00:58:10You've got a potential suicide victim at the Red Palm,
00:58:12is what it sounded like.
00:58:14Room 15, right?
00:58:16Yes, room 15, but hurry, I think it's...
00:58:19I'm already on my way.
00:58:21I'm only a minute out, so I'll call you back.
00:58:56What?
00:59:04Hello?
00:59:06Yeah, hi.
00:59:07So, nothing here at the Red Palm.
00:59:09Actually, the hotel manager says no one's checked in at all tonight.
00:59:14What?
00:59:15But, uh, sort of a weird thing.
00:59:17I found a bullet hole in the wall of the bathroom in room 15.
00:59:21You did?
00:59:23Yeah, I mean, I can't tell if that's what it is for sure or how recent it is,
00:59:27but it looks old.
00:59:29I had to guess.
00:59:31Um, well, uh, thank you for your help.
00:59:36But I guess...
00:59:37I don't...
00:59:39I don't...
00:59:45I don't know.
00:59:45I think we've got a murder here.
00:59:47But I just found a little thing.
00:59:48I don't know.
00:59:50I don't know.
00:59:50I don't know.
00:59:52I don't know.
00:59:52I don't know.
00:59:53I don't know.
00:59:53I don't know.
00:59:54Okay.
00:59:55I don't know.
00:59:55Hey!
01:00:25Hello?
01:00:46Hello?
01:00:53Hello?
01:00:55Hey!
01:00:56You're not authorized to be on this floor, are you?
01:01:02No.
01:01:03I, uh...
01:01:04Come on, man.
01:01:05I like you.
01:01:06I don't want to have to report you.
01:01:10Hey!
01:01:11You're not authorized to be on this floor, are you?
01:01:15No, I, uh...
01:01:16Come on, man.
01:01:17I like you.
01:01:18I don't want to have to report you.
01:01:19There's something going on in that lab.
01:01:20Looked pretty dead to me.
01:01:26There's something going on in that lab.
01:01:33Looked pretty dead to me.
01:01:36I'm so sorry.
01:01:37I'm so sorry.
01:01:38I'll do it.
01:01:39I'll let you go.
01:01:40I'll do it.
01:01:41You know, I'll do it.
01:01:42I'll do it.
01:01:43Oh, my god.
01:01:44I'll do it.
01:01:45I'll do it.
01:01:46You said there's a hospital in the West Tower.
01:01:49Mm-hmm.
01:01:50What's the name of it?
01:01:53Not again.
01:02:16Hello?
01:02:37Hey, uh, I'm so sorry.
01:02:40I just realized my sister and her friend,
01:02:43they prank called this number earlier tonight,
01:02:45and when I realized it was this, Julia, no.
01:02:49Come on, you said you'd apologize.
01:02:51Julia, I...
01:02:52Wait, wait, your sister's named Julia?
01:02:55Your younger sister?
01:02:56Yeah, she's, sorry, you know, she's a little young.
01:03:00And you're Vivian?
01:03:03Yeah.
01:03:05How did you know that?
01:03:07It's January 1st, 2009, where you're at, right?
01:03:11Just past midnight.
01:03:14Yeah.
01:03:15I need to tell you something about Stephen Thomas.
01:03:19Do you know Stephen?
01:03:21Yeah, it's a long story, but listen.
01:03:23Right now, I need you to go to, uh...
01:03:27St. Jude's Hospital in Palm Springs, okay?
01:03:30Do you have a car?
01:03:32Uh, yeah, but what's going on?
01:03:34Stephen tried to kill himself tonight.
01:03:40And I don't know if he's gonna make it.
01:03:42Uh, uh...
01:03:43Okay?
01:03:45Okay, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm...
01:03:46I'm going now.
01:03:48Um, wait, are you the person he said he talked to earlier tonight?
01:03:52I don't know, did he, uh...
01:03:54He said he tried calling someone, but that he kept hanging up.
01:03:56He wasn't really making sense, but, um...
01:04:00Anyway, whoever you are, thank you.
01:04:12He tried to call.
01:04:13I don't know.
01:04:43I don't know.
01:05:13I don't know.
01:05:43I don't know.
01:06:13I don't know.
01:06:43I don't know.
01:07:13I don't know.
01:07:14I don't know.
01:07:15I don't want to talk about myself.
01:07:20I just need a distraction.
01:07:22I don't know.
01:07:25Maybe you can just talk about yourself or something.
01:07:29Okay.
01:07:30I understand.
01:07:31Sure.
01:07:32Well, my name's Steven, too, actually.
01:07:35Steven Jefferson.
01:07:36And your last name is?
01:07:38Thomas.
01:07:39Thomas.
01:07:40Thomas.
01:07:41Gotcha.
01:07:42Well, that's funny.
01:07:46Both of our names together make up one whole form of president.
01:07:49I'm sorry.
01:07:50I only tell bad jokes.
01:07:56Do you have a family?
01:07:57I do.
01:07:58Yeah.
01:07:59I have a wife and a son.
01:08:03I have a wife and a son.
01:08:04My son's about to turn 14 next month, actually.
01:08:10And he's a big Lakers fan.
01:08:11My wife thinks he has a girlfriend, but he's too shy to talk to me about that stuff.
01:08:25And so recently, I've only been volunteering a few times a year, ever since I went into private practice.
01:08:38And I was told that writing a memoir would be a good therapeutic exercise.
01:08:44So, I'm about five chapters deep in right now.
01:08:54Yeah.
01:08:55Okay.
01:08:56I'll see you later.
01:08:57Okay, here.
01:08:58I'll ask for each other.
01:08:59Right?
01:09:00Sure.
01:09:01Bye.
01:09:02See you later.
01:09:03Bye.
01:09:07What?
01:09:08No?
01:09:09No.
01:09:10No.
01:09:11Yeah.
01:09:13No.
01:09:14No.
01:09:15I do not want.
01:09:16Bye.
01:09:18Bye.
01:09:19Bye.
01:09:20Bye.
01:09:21Bye.
01:09:23PHONE RINGS
01:09:53Tell me a story
01:10:23Tell me a story
01:10:53I can't take any more of these seizures
01:10:57Let's induce hypothermia again to reduce the brain swelling
01:11:05Clear
01:11:06Down, down
01:11:13Here's it
01:11:15Do you ever see a future
01:11:25Between us?
01:11:27Steven
01:11:34Steven, look at me
01:11:36I'm alive
01:11:49I'm alive
01:11:51Okay, stay with us, Steven
01:11:53We're losing her
01:11:56Clear
01:11:57I'm alive
01:12:10I'm alive
01:12:13I'm alive
01:12:14You know his odds aren't good
01:12:39And even if he does make it
01:12:44I...
01:12:51I can't stand to see him like this
01:12:54I need to go on a walk
01:12:55Andrew
01:12:56I'm sorry
01:12:58I'm sorry
01:12:59Hi, Mary.
01:13:27How you doing?
01:13:29Okay.
01:13:30I guess.
01:13:31So your concussion symptoms were pretty mild, but we're still going to want to keep
01:13:34you overnight.
01:13:35Okay?
01:13:36Also there's a detective here that would like to speak with you.
01:13:43Mary, hi.
01:13:49I'm Detective Fredericks with the Palm Springs Police.
01:13:52I'd like to get more background about your husband, Jason.
01:13:57Yeah, that's fine.
01:13:58Thanks.
01:13:59Hey, Loretta.
01:14:00Hello?
01:14:01Dr. Williams?
01:14:02No, I can't.
01:14:03I can't get a sitter that fast.
01:14:04Dr. Williams, I'm sorry.
01:14:05It's really urgent.
01:14:06Come on.
01:14:07You're just now telling me this?
01:14:08I just have to show you one thing.
01:14:09I gotta call you back.
01:14:10Oh, it's just going to be really quick.
01:14:11All right, so be patient.
01:14:12It's just going to be really quick.
01:14:13All right, so be patient.
01:14:14All right.
01:14:15You're not going to be patient.
01:14:16It's just going to be quick.
01:14:17You're not going to be patient to work.
01:14:18It's just going to be quick.
01:14:19All right.
01:14:20All right.
01:14:21I'm sorry.
01:14:22I'm sorry.
01:14:23I'm sorry.
01:14:24I'm sorry.
01:14:25I'm sorry.
01:14:26Oh, no.
01:14:28Oh, no.
01:14:30Oh, no.
01:15:28They told me it's not likely you'll wake up, but I don't believe it.
01:15:35I know you.
01:15:38When you do, we're gonna talk more, okay?
01:15:42We're not gonna hide things.
01:15:48I'm scared though, Steven.
01:15:52But I'm still here.
01:15:54And so are you.
01:15:57I'm still here.
01:16:02And so are you.
Be the first to comment