- 7 months ago
Original Broadcast Date: March 26th 2014
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00:00One, two, three!
00:30Thank you very much for taking the time to join us here tonight, or if you're watching
00:43this on iview whenever it was convenient at some point over the next 30 days.
00:47This week I am angry about so many things that it's hard to know which way to turn in
00:51order to vent my spleen.
00:53In fact, my spleen has so many holes in it through which I could vent that I'm thinking
00:58of turning it into a set of bagpipes and playing Mulligan Thai.
01:02So what's got me so riled that I'd subject not only you but also myself to the 70s music
01:07of Paul McCartney?
01:08Well, it's not that Australia and Papua New Guinea have agreed to shut down a human rights
01:14inquiry into the Manus Island riots, because really looking for human rights in our offshore
01:18processing is a bit like reading the nutritional information on a packet of barbecue shapes.
01:23What's the point?
01:25And it wasn't even that His Holiness the Pope warned the Mafia to change their ways
01:29or end up in hell.
01:31Although Your Holiness, if you're watching, those guys do not respond well to threats.
01:35So if I were you I would definitely rent a casino Goodfellas and analyse this to see what they're
01:41capable of.
01:42No, the thing that really made me mad as hell this week was the world's reaction to Russia's
01:47Lindsay Fox like land grab of beachfront property.
01:53Now I know when my own children are willful and don't do what they're told and annex something
01:58they shouldn't.
01:59I give them a time out and that's exactly what the rest of the world might well be doing
02:02with Vladimir Putin.
02:03US President Barack Obama as the leader of the free world called a joint session of G7 nations
02:09to decide what to do about Russia.
02:11Should it be part of the G8 at all?
02:12It's a bit like he's the Mike Brady and he's called a family meeting to decide whether Tiger
02:18should be given away because the EU is allergic to him.
02:21But of course it's the world's Florence Henderson that really holds the power.
02:27Foreign Minister Julie Bishop has upped the ante and threatened to kick Russia from an even
02:32bigger G group, the G20.
02:34Almost three times the size of the G8 this is the club everyone wants to be in and pretty
02:38much is.
02:39And it's going to hurt Russia to be told they're suddenly uninvited to the conference
02:42in Brisbane later this year.
02:44Although as Miss Bishop said there's still a lot of water to pass under the bridge.
02:50Did she mean we'll cross that bridge when we come to it Professor Ian Orbspider?
02:53I think so Sean yes.
02:56Water under the bridge refers to an occurrence in the past that due to its position on the
03:00temporal plane is one that we shouldn't worry about anymore because that moment's lost.
03:04For Miss Bishop to anticipate that when she arrives at the bridge in November sufficient quantities
03:09of troubled water as Mrs Garfunkel and Simon so beautifully put it will have passed underneath
03:15said bridge is to imply that the problem being experienced now can most likely only be solved
03:20in the future by dismissing it as having already occurred.
03:23That Miss Bishop assumes that there will be a bridge there in the first place and that
03:27hasn't been swept away already is.
03:29May I say...
03:30Professor Ian would you mind holding this lightning rod?
03:32Certainly.
03:33I note also Sean that Miss Bishop doesn't quote the old bromide that lightning never strikes
03:38twice.
03:39Thank you Professor Ian.
03:46Mind you if Mr Putin does arrive in Brisbane come November on one of these I'm damn sure
03:52Campbell Newman will have him locked up under the state's anti-bikey laws so really there's
03:56nothing to worry about we'll lead that horse to water over that bridge and burn it when
04:00we cross it later on.
04:01Speaking of water though last week the ABC your Operation Sovereign Borders network showed
04:10secretly filmed vision of asylum seekers being turned back by naval personnel as part of Operation
04:15Sovereign Borders and this is what some of them had to say.
04:18F**k Australia!
04:20Does he have his f**king orange boy?
04:23Now I'm sorry you can say all you like about our country and our Navy personnel but you cannot
04:30disparage the colour of our lifeboats.
04:33I mean we bought them for asylum seekers out of the goodness of our heart plus they cost
04:37an absolute fortune.
04:39Anyway I personally yeah exactly and I think personally that our f**king orange lifeboat is
04:46a damn sight nicer than your f**king yellow ones.
04:49Have a look at that.
04:50What's that?
04:51That's sort of a sort of a mustardy chartreuse.
04:53I mean these people have no idea.
04:56Anyway I agree with callers on Talkback Radio.
04:59We don't want people coming here who are angry that we stopped them coming here.
05:03The people we want coming here the people who love and respect us for stopping them coming
05:07here and towing them back.
05:08As Scott Morrison said.
05:10And they heard and they listened to what was said about our Navy.
05:14What was said about Australia.
05:16What was said about threats and 9-11 and all of this.
05:20They'll be very happy that this government is doing exactly what we said we would do when
05:25it comes to our boredoms.
05:27I'm sorry what was that?
05:38When it comes to our boredoms.
05:40Our boredoms?
05:42That can't be right.
05:44That can't be right.
05:45I thought this guy was in charge of Operation Sovereign Boredoms.
05:48Good morning and welcome to the 2013 National Local Roads and Transport Congress.
05:58And you know watching those asylum seekers sailing off into the sunset in one of our
06:02beautifully colour coordinated lifeboats made me wonder what becomes of the original
06:06fishing boats they set out on.
06:08Maybe they're returned politely to the original port or maybe they're lovingly restored by oldy
06:13worldy carpenters, refurbished and fitted out by benevolent chandlers and donated to charitable
06:19organisations to provide day trips on the water for disabled or underprivileged children.
06:23Or that, I mean fair enough anyway.
06:35You don't know where they've been.
06:38Back home now to the other and usually more ineffectual side of politics and the Federal
06:43Opposition has claimed the rather prominent and expansive scalp of Assistant Treasurer Arthur
06:48Sinodinos who has
07:11stepped down from his portfolio pending his appearance before the Independent Commission
07:16Corruption.
07:17Australian Water Holdings, of which Senator Sinodinos was once chairman, has been linked
07:21to the family of Labor faction leader Eddie Obeid.
07:24And it's really no surprise that Labor are gloating over this because if anyone knows how
07:27damaging it can be to be connected to someone from the Labor Party, it's the Labor Party.
07:32Not surprisingly, given the government he's part of, Mr Sinodinos has refused to comment
07:37on Water Holdings matters.
07:39But he's not without his supporters.
07:41Even the redoubtable Mr Howard came out in support of his former Chief of Staff.
07:45But the most...
07:47No, that's right.
07:49But the most unequivocal endorsement came from co-founder of AWH, William McGregor Fraser,
07:55who said he did not think Mr Sinodinos had any special knowledge of water or sewage.
08:00Personally, I think it's important to be able to tell the difference.
08:04If one of them in particular hits the fan, you really should definitely stand aside.
08:14And for an update on proceedings before the Independent Commission Against Corruption,
08:17let's cross to court reporter Lois Price.
08:19Lois, who gave evidence before the commission today?
08:22Yeah, good question, Sean.
08:24Look, it's hard to say from my position high in the sky.
08:28Everyone looks like ants.
08:30Yes, of course.
08:31What about Senator Sinodinos?
08:32When's he due to appear as a witness?
08:34At this date, Sean, exactly when the Senator will appear is unknown, certainly by me.
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08:49I'm Lois Price for mad as hell.
08:52Thanks very much, Lois. Thank you.
08:54But Sinodinos or no, the May budget looks like hitting us all where it hurts the most.
08:59Right in the purse.
09:00But the government just doesn't want to kick us in such a sensitive air and be done with it.
09:03They want to stimulate it as well.
09:07But how?
09:08Well, the government have called it...
09:10The biggest bonfire of regulations in Australian history.
09:14More than 9,500 laws and regulations are being axed.
09:18In order to free up business and stimulate economic and jobs growth.
09:21But Prime Minister and Chief Regulation arsonist Tony Abbott prefaced his remarks about the red tape repeal this way.
09:28Like a fence at the top of a cliff, sometimes regulation is necessary.
09:34But one of the...
09:36But one of the cliff top fences the government proposes to burn down is the law that requires financial advisors to act in their clients' best interests.
09:45No, no, no, I'm with the home side here.
09:47This is a classic example of the sort of unnecessary red tape that gets in the way of financial advisors giving clients advice that's in their worst interest.
09:54Or which might be in the best interest of the advisor.
09:57And you can see how taking a flamethrower to this sort of high-vis Canyon safety rail is a good thing.
10:03Davey Plum from McEwen Mead Investment Brokers.
10:06Given that there's now no guarantee that financial advice will be in my best interest, how will I know who is the best financial advisor for me?
10:14Well, you'd come to me, Sean, and I'd advise you on that.
10:17Alright, and what would your advice be?
10:19I'd advise you to take my advice on a whole raft of investment opportunities.
10:23Well, shouldn't I shop around first, get some...
10:25No, not at all.
10:26Just come see me and I'll take care of you with a bit of advice on the share portfolios that we recommend.
10:32Alright, you're the best in the business, eh?
10:33No, my clients tell me I'm uninformed and incompetent.
10:37But I'd still advise you to come to me, sit down and accept my advice.
10:40If you don't want to be any good, what would I get out of it?
10:43Oh, listen to yourself.
10:44What do I get out of the advice that I pay for with my money?
10:47It's not about what you get out of it anymore, Sean.
10:49The what about me generation is over.
10:52Now it's all about me.
10:55Right.
10:56But how far can a government advocate its responsibility to look after the economy while at the same time continue taxing it?
11:02In a bid to find out, Federal Treasurer Joe Hockey has asked the Productivity Commission to explore the direct charging of all vehicles for road use.
11:10It's a hands-off approach, particularly if you drive the vehicle they've suggested, which has no steering wheel at all.
11:17Junior Productivity Commissioner Nicola Bryan, is this a good idea?
11:20Apart from the fuel excise, registration charges, driver's licence fees, stamp duty, tolls, GST on cars and fringe benefits tax, Sean,
11:29there really is no way for the government to make sure the user pays when it comes to motoring.
11:34What about all those methods you just mentioned?
11:37Well, if you're going to twist my words, Sean, I see no point in discussing the matter further.
11:41Look, suffice it to say, Sean, that user pay roads are quite a revenue raiser,
11:45particularly when you consider the average motorist per year drives 500 kilometres.
11:50What about pedestrians who walk 500 miles?
11:52You raise a good point, but I think we're a few years away from charging pedestrians for just walking around on their own legs.
12:15How many years do you think?
12:17About two.
12:19First year it'd just be built up surfaces and then we'd phase in unsealed areas.
12:24Chip in the neck?
12:26I think so.
12:27I mean, your typical civil liberty, bleeding heart, treat me like a human type,
12:31so jump up and down about automatic withdrawals based on monitoring your physical movement.
12:35But is it so different from the Orwellian dystopia of 1984 we've been reading about for the past 50 years?
12:40Very interesting.
12:42But how do ordinary Australians feel about their car being used as an ATM?
12:46Unemployed rodeo clown, Derek Flood.
12:48And a warning to those who accuse this show of bias, Derek has been vetted by a government audit.
12:55Oh, Sean, user pays roads are a great way for a government to get back money from people like me who used to be on Newstart Allowance
13:03but who are now driving more than 90 minutes to and from jobs we don't want.
13:08Alternatively, the government could continue to pay us the Newstart Allowance but make us drive three hours to come and pick it up
13:14and then just charge us for the total kilometres travelled.
13:18Well, they'd get back as much as they paid out and it wouldn't cost us out of work as a cent.
13:23Thank you, Verity.
13:25But it's not just the average punters who are putting themselves out.
13:28Some politicians too are putting their mouth where your money is.
13:31Clive Palmer took a bit of time off from what he usually gets up to on parliamentary sitting days
13:39to actually sit in parliament last week, at one point even rising to his feet to threaten that if the government went ahead
13:45with its proposed repeal of income support to the orphaned children of war veterans, he would block the repeal of the mining tax.
13:51Well, this news disc is normally devoted to the fair and balanced reporting of the week's events.
13:56I don't sit in it to push my views down your throat.
13:59That sort of pig-headed editorialising sickens me and if you want that, you should tune in to Larry Emder on the morning show.
14:05And he calls himself a newsman.
14:13But tonight I'm going to put down this pen that for some reason I hold when I read the news so that I can say something from my heart.
14:20How this man, not Larry, Clive. Thank you.
14:25How this man, Clive Palmer, can make a political football out of something as important as the mining tax staggers this correspondent.
14:33That he dares to take what is essentially a moral issue, the inalienable right of some Australians to profit from this country's natural resources
14:41and then yoke it onto the sordid subject of money for orphans is nothing short of monstrous.
14:46How dare you, Clive Palmer. How dare you. How dare you stand there in a graphic for this show that isn't even really you
14:55and blackmail the government that has a mandate from the people to deny these children about $200 a year.
15:02Shame on you, sir. Shame on you.
15:05Hang on. Clive's in the mining business, isn't he? Surely there's a conflict of interest if he votes on the mining tax.
15:13Didn't he say something last year, just before the election, about that?
15:17If any matter came up before any government thing that I was involved in, there'd be a conflict of interest.
15:21I'd leave the room and wouldn't vote on it.
15:24Couldn't be clearer, really. Well, it could, but if someone else other than Clive was saying it.
15:28Anyway, I guess Clive, being a man of principle, will stick by his election promise and not vote on the repeal of the mining tax.
15:35And that's good news because that means the government gets to save that $200 per orphan
15:40and finally start plugging up bloody typical Labor's $123 billion black hole.
15:47But Clive does raise an interesting point, and not just the one on the top of his head, about the mining industry.
15:53One made a lot clearer by our foreign minister, Florence Henderson.
15:58As a person involved in the mining sector, he, amongst all people, should know that the mining tax is bad for our economy,
16:07bad for Western Australia in particular.
16:09And without the mining tax, our economy will grow, jobs will thrive,
16:14and we will be able to put the budget into a better position.
16:17So, according to Ms Bishop, if we dump the mining tax, or as Gina Reinhardt herself has put it...
16:24Axe the tax!
16:26Thank you, Gina.
16:28So, if we axe the tax, then we'll free up the economy and stimulate jobs growth.
16:33And I guess if it's having such a negative effect, it must be a pretty massive impost on the industry.
16:38And the mining tax is not raising any money.
16:41My mistake.
16:42But hard hats off to Gina Reinhardt, though.
16:45This week, her Roy Hill Iron Ore project secured a $7.2 billion finance deal with a consortium of lenders, including the four major Australian banks.
16:53Gina inked the deal at a signing ceremony in Singapore, and it's nice to see her happy for a change, isn't it?
16:59In fact, it was smiles all round amongst the financiers.
17:02Normally a rather humourless bunch, but you could sense their genuine pleasure and warmth.
17:10Gina's jaw infectious, as they shared a joke, probably at our expense, literally, as their peals of laughter echoed about the room.
17:17The otherwise flinty world of high finance was forgotten for a few moments before Gina took everybody out for a slap-up meal at Noodle World.
17:24Apparently there's no splitting bills at Noodle World, and Gina didn't have any cash on her, so she paid the bill by credit card and the others reimbursed her.
17:32Still to come.
17:35Gina Reinhardt demonstrates to the government how best to deal with so-called red tape.
17:41And asylum seekers, Tony Abbott solves the problem of offshore processing.
17:46Meet Jake and Simone.
18:00I don't think I love you anymore.
18:06Wait a minute, that came out wrong.
18:09Meet Polly and her best friend Dave.
18:12I think he's the one. I mean, he could be the one.
18:14Holly?
18:15Do you think he could be the one?
18:16Holly?
18:17Do you think he could be the one?
18:18I don't know, but the lights turned green.
18:20Meet Greg and Yasmin.
18:23Yay! Well done! Woohoo!
18:28Love.
18:29There you go.
18:31Oops!
18:32Love.
18:34Happy.
18:38Sad.
18:42Funny.
18:45Not funny.
18:48Why?
18:50They're people just like you.
18:53Why not get to know them?
18:55New for 2014.
18:57Your comfortable middle-class existence validated and reflected back at you.
19:01Coming soon to the ABC.
19:02Well, strictly speaking, you're not supposed to alter a single fronted Edwardian cottage with a heritage overlay on it.
19:19But a couple of the guys in the council's planning department needed some renos done on their joints.
19:23So we came to an arrangement.
19:24I work in the construction industry and, you know, we talked to a lot of architects, looked at a lot of designs.
19:32But at the end of the day, we realised that what we really wanted was a house that was finished before the Royal Commission started.
19:39I liked the idea of open spaces and clean lines.
19:45I liked the idea of putting pressure on people and calling in some favours.
19:50All of the stone and marble through the house is imported from Italy.
19:54Yeah.
19:55Not by us.
19:56But the owners never claimed it from the docks, apparently.
19:59The stabilis waited a long time for you to be picked up, didn't they?
20:01Till quite late in the afternoon, it was.
20:05We've always wanted an open fire.
20:08It is very romantic.
20:09And it's lovely if Des has to get rid of some documents in a hurry.
20:15The windows are all double glazed.
20:18Yeah, they were left over from an office tower Des worked on, weren't they?
20:22They would have been.
20:24Eventually.
20:26I feel very, very lucky.
20:29I never thought I'd get to live somewhere so spacious, so light.
20:33And so in my brother-in-law's name, for legal reasons.
20:39Now, our research data suggests we skew to an older demographic, not compatible with spics and specs.
20:48So here's Triple J's spec filler vol to give you the 411 on what's trending around the world this week.
20:54Yeah, cool. Thanks, Grandpa.
20:56All it took was a quick add on Gumtree, and Australia's search for a new embassy in Baghdad was over.
21:02It was announced this week by Foreign Minister Julie Bishop
21:04that Australian diplomatic staff would move into the British Embassy and work from there.
21:09The British have insisted on only one house rule.
21:12No friends can crash, especially if they're driving trucks filled with explosives.
21:16It's hoped the move can help Australia scrape together a deposit for its own place in Baghdad.
21:21The housing market there has been pretty flat, like most of the cities since, I don't know, November 2003. Sean?
21:27Yeah, so how are things going? Are they getting on?
21:31Yeah, cool. Well, the move went well, Sean.
21:33Despite the two embassies having quite contrasting approaches to shared living,
21:37I think we've got some footage here.
21:38All right.
21:56Well, 20-somethings aren't going to get that reference.
21:59You should have mocked up a parody of Two Broke Girls or something.
22:01Yeah.
22:02Still, it's all above board between the Brits and the Aussies,
22:05and as it should be, unlike the embassies of Crimea and Russia,
22:08which have moved in together, and if what I'm hearing is correct,
22:12aren't sleeping in single beds.
22:18Hello? What? Yes?
22:19All right. Yes, certainly.
22:21Goodbye.
22:22We should have warned you, that was technically news from a country that's not Australia.
22:34Well, Morwell's sister city, Beijing, looks like joining its sibling
22:37in ridding itself of unwanted plumes of gas-inducing smoke,
22:41with Chinese Premier Li Kui-Kuang promising voters
22:44that the government would fight the pollution with an iron fist.
22:48Yeah, I don't know if you've seen the pollution in Beijing,
22:51but making anything out of iron is probably what caused the problem in the first place.
22:55Still, an increase in China's production of iron fists is good news for our mining industry.
23:01Nauru, an island of 21 square kilometres, or 60 Olympic swimming pools,
23:06led by President Baron Wakwa.
23:09That's still Nauru.
23:11The President obviously doesn't look anything like a bird's-eye view of his own country.
23:14Nauru's Chief Justice, Australian Geoffrey Eames, resigned last week,
23:23after he was denied a visa to re-enter Nauru.
23:26Unfortunately, that means the Chief Justice couldn't appeal the denial of his visa,
23:29because while he could have taken it to Nauru's High Court,
23:31at the time he was not only out of the country and couldn't hear it,
23:35but he couldn't come back in to represent himself.
23:37Where is he now?
23:38Well, the former Chief Justice, it seems, has taken refuge on an island near Nauru called Australia.
23:44It's typical.
23:45No job, a political troublemaker, and we take him in.
23:48We're too soft-hearted, that's actually.
23:51And finally, a bit of foreign country fun.
23:54England's annual wife-carrying race has taken place in Surrey.
23:57It's the seventh year for this event, and for the seventh year running,
24:00local bigamist John Vickery has finished last.
24:05And later in the show, Australia has agreed to resume live exports of sheep and cattle to Egypt,
24:10and I speak to a DFAT official about how importers will ensure the animals are treated humanely.
24:16Well, we're very sensitive to the needs of the animal.
24:18How?
24:19Well, livestock are informed they've won an all-expenses-paid Mediterranean cruise
24:23stopping in Egypt to visit such tourist sites as the Pyramids, Luxor, and, if there's time, the local abattoir.
24:30Yeah, I'm not sure.
24:31Listen, me and my wife went on one of these package tours last year,
24:34and I tell you, by the end of it, we would have killed to have a steam-driven hammer hit us on the head.
24:41Well, that's coming up in Sport, but first Sport, live from the still-unfinished Macarena Stadium in Rio,
24:46where in only 80 days, Australia's World Cup team will be beaten by Chile in the first round.
24:51But in the meantime, Maggie, Aussie Grand Prix driver Daniel Ricciardo is appealing.
24:56Well, each to their own, Sean.
24:59Jury's still out on his court case, though. Did he come second or not?
25:02Won't know, until the judge brings the chequered flag down on this farce.
25:06Yeah. It's unfair of the FIA to snatch near-victory from Daniel, though, isn't it, Max?
25:10Particularly given he's Australian.
25:12Look, it happens sometimes in Formula One, Sean. Great bit of driving, but he's disqualified.
25:17Disqualified, eh? Well, he shouldn't be drink-driving in the first place.
25:20Particularly at those speeds. It's an appalling result for the state of Victoria.
25:23Value for the taxpayers' dollar, do you think?
25:25It's all about the numbers, Sean. Check out these stats.
25:28320,000 people visited the race last year. That's enough to fill the MCG three times.
25:35Do we need to do that?
25:40It's a farce, Sean. We know the capacity of the MCG is 100,000.
25:44So why bother filling it the first time, let alone twice more?
25:48Wouldn't you divide 320,000 by 100,000 and forget carting everyone all over the city?
25:54I don't think so, Mags. Any other numbers, stat-wise, in terms of numerical figures?
25:58Just these.
26:00And with 22 drivers from 13 different countries, a lot of those spectators are coming from overseas.
26:10What are they driving them over here?
26:1322 drivers, Sean. That's enough to fill a small coach or minibus.
26:17All right, thanks, Mags. Are you enjoying yourself over there? How do you find the Brazilians?
26:25I've only ever had one, Sean. I couldn't sit down for about five days afterwards.
26:30Ouchie mama.
26:32Well, not coming up because we've run out of time.
26:35Car smashes into wall of the lodge as Bill Shorten realises there's only one way he's going to get in there.
26:42And Kim Kardashian reveals her weight loss secrets from this to this in just 21 days.
26:52Well, before we go, you'll remember that last fortnight Derren Hinch escaped from prison, I presume,
26:58by climbing through razor wire, judging from what's happened to his beard.
27:02Now, the reason Derren was doing time was because he'd been found guilty of contempt of court and fined $100,000,
27:06but he chose instead to serve 50 days. That's $2,000 wiped off for every day behind bars.
27:13Now, the reason I mention this is because I remember Joe Hockey recently saying this.
27:17We have inherited from the Labor Party budget deficits totalling $123 billion.
27:24Now, $123 billion divided by 2,000 is 61,500,000 days divided by 365 is 168,493.
27:36So what say Wayne Swan goes to jail for 168,493 years and we wipe off the budget deficit?
27:43Sound like a good idea? Send your answers.
27:46Sure. Well, the vote's in here. But if you want to play along at home, send your answers to the
27:53Should Wayne Swan go to jail for 168,493 years, competition, care of the ABC, et cetera, et cetera.
27:59And you could be in the running to win a Lee discount sales voucher.
28:03ABC shop merchandise valued at $45, now worth only $20.
28:08Goodbye.
28:09Haha, come down, sergeant baby.
28:20But right now Shawn McAuliffe becomes a dame.
28:24But it's not just the average- oh dear.
28:29A handbag?
28:34Bug?
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