- 5 months ago
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00:00Thank you and welcome back to the Adam Green Show.
00:02Now, we're very lucky to have a comedian we've been trying to get on the show for a long time now.
00:06Ladies and gentlemen, it's Rick Spleen.
00:11Now, Rick, I must have first seen you, it's got to be ten years ago now, in a little club,
00:18and you were doing a skit about smoking.
00:20Yeah, that's right. That was about the time, actually, when the cigarette packets came out
00:24with health warnings on them for the first time, do you remember?
00:26And it started me thinking, what if other products came out with health warnings on them?
00:29On the bill as well.
00:31A skinny guy who played the accordion, what was his name?
00:34I think it was Chris Logan, yeah.
00:36Chris Logan, that's it. He was a funny bloke.
00:38Yeah.
00:38He was really funny.
00:39Yeah, he was great.
00:41Chris Logan, he used to do this routine about, his dad told him when he was a kid
00:47that the ice cream van only played music when it had run out of ice cream.
00:51It's a really, really old routine. I don't know where he borrowed it from.
00:54It's very funny, isn't it?
00:55Yeah.
00:56That's quite well observed.
00:57Not by him, no.
00:58So what happened to him, Chris Logan?
01:01I don't know. He just disappeared, I guess.
01:04Right, because you seem to be doing the exact opposite.
01:08Sorry, what?
01:08Well, you're not disappearing. You're getting bigger and bigger.
01:12I don't think so. Not really, no.
01:15Well, you're piling on the pounds, I think.
01:16I shouldn't think so. I wouldn't put on any weight, actually.
01:18Mind you, we like him this size, don't we?
01:21Yeah!
01:21Yes, we like him a bit fuller figure.
01:24Yes, it's good.
01:25I wouldn't put on any weight, but anyway.
01:27So, ladies and gentlemen, the mystery of who ate all the pies has been sold.
01:31It's my guest, Rick's clean.
01:32I work out a bit.
01:33Why would he say a thing like that? Did he think I'd be pleased?
01:54Why would he say a thing like that? Did he think I'd be pleased?
01:59Sounds like he touched a nerve.
02:01Well, you should know. Nobody likes to have that said to them.
02:04You know, thin people don't have to put up with that.
02:05Well, no, because they're thin.
02:08What did you say when he said that?
02:09I had a really good put-down, but, you know, they'll cut it out
02:12because they want to make Adam Green, the smarmy little runt, look good.
02:15What did you say?
02:16It doesn't matter. They're letting it out, you know.
02:18Come on.
02:20I mean, do you think I've put on weight?
02:21What does it matter if you have a little bit?
02:28Magda, would you say this to someone?
02:30If you thought they'd put on weight,
02:31would you just come out with it and tell them that you've put on weight?
02:34Well, maybe you have in the last few months.
02:36I don't mean me. I didn't mean I put on weight.
02:38But if you are happy with it...
02:39What's that, Magda?
02:40Old woman has lost cat.
02:43Muggsy.
02:44Oh, that's Doris's cat.
02:46Who the hell is Doris?
02:47The old lady that lives across the road.
02:49She loves that cat.
02:51Rick, can you check the garage?
02:53No, it won't be in there.
02:54You can check it anyway.
02:55Oh, reward. Bless her.
02:58Cat is very old.
03:00Maybe it's gone away to die.
03:02No, it won't be that, Magda.
03:04It'll have been stolen by a vivisectionist
03:06and given pig's trotters and a monkey's brain by now.
03:09Why don't you nip round and tell Doris that?
03:11She'll cheer her up.
03:13I think it'd be better coming from Magda, wouldn't it?
03:18Then, out of nowhere, he says,
03:19you put on weight, haven't you?
03:21Yes, I have, Adam.
03:22I'm hoping to gain another 150 pounds
03:24so I can become like one of your regular viewers.
03:26Yeah, which is pretty much exactly what I said.
03:29Of course, they'll edit it
03:30because they don't want to offend their bedridden audience.
03:32So what do we got today?
03:34Oh, it's this piece I said I'd write for the paper.
03:36I mean, why say a thing like that?
03:38Yeah, you're right. It's personal.
03:39Nobody likes to be told they put on weight.
03:41None of his business.
03:41It just creates a bad atmosphere to say that.
03:43You put on weight.
03:44So what if you have?
03:45He was out of line.
03:46He shouldn't have said it.
03:48But you think I have?
03:49No, no, I'm not saying that.
03:50No, no, no, no.
03:51I'm agreeing with you.
03:52I'm just saying he shouldn't have said it.
03:54It's like saying, you know,
03:55so what's with the receding hairline?
03:57I'm going to make some coffee.
03:58You want some coffee?
04:00Yeah.
04:02You want a cookie with that?
04:03Oh, no, no.
04:04Better not.
04:04Hi, Dad.
04:12Hi.
04:13You know your little DVD player thing?
04:17The portable one, yeah.
04:18Yeah, yeah.
04:18It's not working.
04:20I don't know.
04:20I opened it up.
04:21You opened it up?
04:22Yeah, yeah.
04:23He had a look in the back and couldn't see anything wrong.
04:25You know your way around the inside of a DVD player?
04:28Er, no.
04:29Not that much.
04:31No.
04:32It's probably best you just get a new one.
04:33Oh, right.
04:35Panasonic are very good.
04:38What is that symbol on your shirt there?
04:41It's, er, free running parkour.
04:44What's the band or what?
04:45No, Dad.
04:46It's like, it's like free running.
04:47Er, you know, you jump on stuff and that.
04:50It's like, you can use street as a gym.
04:53You can use anything, really.
04:54Walls, ballards, whatever.
04:56It's what, you just go around jumping on stuff?
04:59Well, jumping, rolling.
05:00Rolling as well?
05:01Yeah, there's like loads of different moves.
05:03Marty, you heard of this parkour thing?
05:06Free running, sure, yeah.
05:08Hey, it's too bad about this cat.
05:11Go see your cat.
05:11Have a look.
05:12Did you check the garage?
05:13Maybe it's in the garage?
05:13Yeah, I'll look later.
05:15Yeah, I will as well.
05:17In general, I mean, not the garage.
05:22Sure you don't want a cookie?
05:23No, thanks.
05:25Mmm.
05:26Oh, they're good.
05:27I'll tell you what, I'll just leave them here.
05:30They, er, do ones that record now as well.
05:34Right.
05:42Is this the column you're doing?
05:43Yeah.
05:44Ten things I'd change about the world.
05:45Yeah.
05:47I know it's cheesy, but it pays well, you know?
05:50All right, come on.
05:51What do you want to change about the world?
05:53I don't know, you know, it's one of those things.
05:55You sit down and do it, it's not that easy.
05:57You've got to be original.
05:58You can't just put any rubbish.
06:00What did the guy do at last week, put it?
06:01Okay, what do we got?
06:03Actor Daniel K. Roberts.
06:05Oh, mmm.
06:06Known for his portrayal of an epileptic priest
06:08in Gregory Daniels' TV drama Broken Chalice.
06:12Oh, he's dreadful.
06:15Oh, look at him.
06:17Wearing a scarf for the photo.
06:21Ten things I'd change about the world.
06:23Number one, why must people who live in town
06:25drive those ghastly gas-guzzling 4x4s?
06:28So if they hit you,
06:29there's more of a chance of permanent injury.
06:31Number two, um...
06:34Actually, that is quite good, but...
06:36Maybe we should ask Michael for some ideas.
06:38Hey, Michael.
06:39What would you change about the world?
06:42Oh, that's an interesting one.
06:43Um, yes, I suppose I'd like to do something about the homeless.
06:47That's good. It's shocking.
06:49Oh, it makes you despair.
06:50Where they dribble and swear
06:52and mess up the place
06:53with the stinking sleeping bags and cardboard boxes.
06:56I mean, if they were dogs,
06:57we would put them to sleep, wouldn't we?
06:59Shoot the lot of them, I say.
07:00So do I.
07:01But these days, you're not allowed to say that
07:03unless you want to be accused of spoiling the carol service.
07:09Anyway, can I tempt you with dessert?
07:11Yeah, I'll have a brownie with extra cream.
07:15Sure.
07:15Well, there you go.
07:20Shoot the homeless.
07:21One down, nine to go.
07:23All right, come on.
07:24What else has been annoying you recently?
07:26Apart from Michael?
07:27Yeah, apart from Michael,
07:28what else has been annoying you?
07:32Ben.
07:33What's wrong with Ben?
07:34You know who managed to break that DVD pair of mine?
07:36The little one?
07:36Yeah.
07:37It wasn't working, so he unscrewed the back
07:39because he thought he might be able to fix it.
07:40You just bought that.
07:41I know.
07:42Bloody am I.
07:44I mean, I've got the guarantee,
07:45so I'll take it back and get another one, but, you know, it's...
07:47Not if he took the back off.
07:48Hmm?
07:49No.
07:50Guarantee's invalid if it's been tampered with.
07:52Well, they won't know.
07:53They will if the seal's been broken.
07:54Why'd you let him take the back off?
07:55I didn't let him take the back off.
07:56I didn't even let him use it.
07:58He just took it, broke it,
07:59unscrewed the back,
08:00so the seal is broken,
08:01and then presented me with it
08:03like a dog bringing in a dead rabbit.
08:05Now he's expecting me to get a new one.
08:09Bloody Ben.
08:12Can you imagine him doing all that
08:13jumping around on buildings and stuff?
08:15I can't even imagine him
08:16getting out of bed for a crap,
08:19let alone leaping off railings
08:21and rolling around on roofs.
08:22Hey, if the old lady doesn't find her cat,
08:24we can give her Ben.
08:29Dripping taps.
08:33That's another thing I'd change.
08:36There's a neighbour's overflow
08:37outside my bedroom window
08:38and it drips every one and a half seconds,
08:40lying awake in bed at night.
08:41It's a constant.
08:42Blip.
08:44Blip.
08:45Blip.
08:47Blip.
08:48Blip.
08:49Blip.
08:50I can see how that would annoy.
08:52Enjoy your brownie.
08:54Rick, you sure you don't want one?
08:55Yeah, thank you.
08:56We're watching the wait, are we?
08:57Not really nice.
08:58I wasn't going to say anything, but, uh...
09:00Anyway.
09:03Mmm.
09:05This is good.
09:06You sure you want to have some?
09:07Yeah, thanks.
09:08You don't have some?
09:08I'll get an extra spoon we can share.
09:11Oh, thanks.
09:12Then this afternoon,
09:12let's go and see a musical.
09:18How's it reading?
09:19Ah, it's sort of coming together.
09:21Sorry.
09:21No one?
09:27I've been eating crisps all of a sudden.
09:29I know.
09:29You ever have one of those days
09:30when you're just hungry all day?
09:32I should start smoking.
09:33This would be an ideal moment for a cigarette.
09:34No one?
09:36Oh, good.
09:37The roast chicken flavor.
09:38Yeah, I can see that.
09:39You used to like roast chicken flavor.
09:40Yeah, I'm working.
09:41I don't need to stuff my face
09:42in order to concentrate.
09:43All right?
09:44Okay.
09:45Just if you change your mind,
09:47there they are.
09:48Magda, oh!
09:48Did you get them?
09:49I don't know what's wrong with me.
09:50I'm starving.
09:51Hope they're all right once.
09:52You did great.
09:54Look at these.
09:56You want one?
09:58No, thank you.
09:59Of course you do.
10:02The hips.
10:04Come on, come on.
10:07Rick?
10:09Go on.
10:10I know what you're trying to do.
10:10I don't want one.
10:11What am I trying to do?
10:12Just go and play little games on your own.
10:15Mmm.
10:16Good.
10:17Do you have these in your country?
10:19Of course.
10:20But really only in government and army.
10:23You gotta join the army before you can get a donut.
10:25No, but in army you have luxury food.
10:28Come on, Rick.
10:29It's a luxury food.
10:31It's not a luxury food.
10:32It's a donut.
10:33No, I don't want one.
10:33Some people gotta do two years military training
10:35just for one of these,
10:36and you're getting one for free.
10:37You know, I know what you're doing,
10:38and just to show it doesn't bother me,
10:39I'll have one, all right?
10:41No.
10:42Happy?
10:43But very fattening, I think.
10:44I must be careful.
10:45I don't think you have to worry.
10:46But you are very lucky.
10:47You stay thin all the time.
10:52But for the rest of us,
10:53we must be careful.
10:59I don't think she necessarily made you.
11:01Have you seen my trainers?
11:15What?
11:16You know my trainers I bought last summer to go running?
11:19Oh, I don't know.
11:20Probably on top of the wardrobe.
11:22So I'm going to the gym in the morning, so...
11:24It's really got to you, this weight thing, hasn't it?
11:27No.
11:28No, it's not that.
11:29It's just a fitness thing that I feel.
11:31I want to do some exercise.
11:33Not the fact that the Adam Green show went out this afternoon?
11:36No.
11:36No, I didn't know.
11:38Did you watch it?
11:39It was okay.
11:40You see they cut my line so I'd look stupid.
11:42Oh, so you did see it?
11:44Go on, then.
11:44What was the line they cut?
11:45Well, Adam Green comes out with it,
11:47says you've put on weight, haven't you?
11:48So I said, yes, I have, Adam.
11:50I'm hoping to gain another £150
11:51so I can become one of your regular viewers.
11:53That's a good line.
11:54That's a very good line.
11:55And the studio audience were laughing,
11:56and he felt they were laughing at him, I think.
11:58That's the problem, but...
11:59See, that's the thing.
12:00They'll book a comedian to be on a show,
12:02and I come up with the best lines, and they cut them.
12:04It's just the depressing thing about television these days.
12:08You see, this is what Ben does.
12:10Look, I've just looked it up.
12:11It's this free-running thing.
12:12Oh, yeah, he was telling me about this the other day.
12:14Ooh, really quite skilful, some of it.
12:17Do you think so?
12:18I don't know.
12:19It just looks like they're running away from the police.
12:20I mean, it looks like they're hurting themselves the whole time.
12:23It's not actually that skilful about throwing yourself down a stairwell.
12:26I mean, steps were invented for a reason, I would have thought.
12:29Yeah.
12:30But that one, that's quite a clever leap.
12:33Ooh, gosh.
12:34Maybe for that old woman's cat doesn't turn up,
12:37we should give her Ben.
12:38Oh, I don't suppose you've seen her cat, have you?
12:42No, I haven't, no.
12:44But you did check the garage, though?
12:45Yeah, I checked the garage.
12:46No, he's not in there.
12:47Just nowhere to be seen.
12:49I've asked around.
12:50Really?
12:50Kept a look at her.
12:51That's good of you.
12:52Haven't actually seen any cats today, I don't think.
12:55Have you ever seen my car keys with you?
13:11You're not driving to the gym, are you?
13:13You should jog there, warm up.
13:15What's the point of that?
13:16If I jogged there, I might as well just turn around and jog back.
13:19Forget about the gym altogether.
13:20I don't know, it's not just jogging you need for fitness.
13:23You need full body toning, you know?
13:25For that, you need equipment, any weights, specialist advice.
13:30I might do a class, boxercise.
13:31You just go jogging, you end up with knackered knees
13:33and lungs full of curry blocks.
13:36Oh, here we go.
13:37Get ready, I'm off.
13:42See you later.
13:42That's nice orange juice there.
13:44Yeah, good luck.
13:44I won't need it.
14:07For Woman Czar, from Manchester, with Jim.
14:14Look what I found.
14:27That's Mark C. Hello, baby.
14:31I wouldn't do that.
14:31It's where I've got worms and fleas.
14:33Don't kiss him.
14:34Where were you?
14:34He was in the garage, right under my car.
14:36Poor baby.
14:37Yeah, just as well if I've got my kit bag, I'd have run him over.
14:40Did he try to kill you?
14:41Did he?
14:42Oh, darling, did he?
14:43I didn't realise you two knew each other so well.
14:45Who said you'd check the garage?
14:46I did.
14:47He must have been asleep.
14:49Ah, you found the kit.
14:50It's not dead.
14:51Found him in the garage.
14:52Can you take him over to thingy?
14:55Doris?
14:55Now I can't.
14:56I'm going to be late as it is and she talks and talks.
14:58Magda, would you take him?
14:59Yes, I will.
15:00Will you go with Magda?
15:01Yes.
15:02Come here, Mr. Keds.
15:03Muxy Magda, please.
15:04I think she will be very pleased.
15:06Bye-bye.
15:07Tell her I found him.
15:08You found him.
15:11You didn't check the garage.
15:13I did.
15:13I told you.
15:14I checked it three times.
15:15It was asleep or whatever.
15:17Maybe he snuck in when I opened the door.
15:18I should know who I am by now.
15:25I walk, the record stands somehow, thinking of winter.
15:36Your name is the splinter inside me while I wait.
15:43And I remember the sound of your November downtown.
15:59And I remember the truth of a warm December with you.
16:08But...
16:10Rick, I haven't seen you here for months.
16:19Yeah, how are you?
16:20Yeah, I don't do that much gym anymore.
16:22A lot of running instead, you know, long distance.
16:24I'm pounding the streets.
16:26I haven't seen you on TV so much.
16:27Oh, I've been doing a lot, actually.
16:29I've got chat shows and I have a newspaper column when I have time.
16:33And yeah, I've got a lot of TV work in the pipeline, actually.
16:36Oh, great, great.
16:37Hence, back to the gym.
16:38Yeah.
16:40What?
16:44Well, put a little bit of weight on.
16:46Couldn't help noticing.
16:49Couldn't help noticing.
16:51Couldn't help commenting.
16:53Oh, wish I had your problem.
16:54Problem?
16:55All I'm saying is you put on a bit of weight.
16:59What makes people think they can say that to someone and they won't be offended?
17:02Yes, I put on a bit of weight.
17:04About three pounds.
17:06Look at me.
17:07Big fatty.
17:08Come to the gym.
17:10Have you ever said that to anybody and they were pleased to hear it?
17:12I didn't mean to.
17:14Do you want to know why I've put on weight?
17:15Shall I tell you?
17:16Because I've got cancer.
17:17Cancer.
17:18Cancer.
17:18Cancer.
17:19Cancer.
17:19And the drugs I'm on have made me blow up like a space hopper.
17:22Are you happy now?
17:23I mean, I had no idea.
17:24No, you didn't have any idea.
17:25You didn't think, did you?
17:26You just thought, I know.
17:27I'll go and tell him he's put on weight.
17:28He'll like that.
17:29Well, you know what?
17:29I didn't like it.
17:30Because now you've reminded me that I've got cancer.
17:32That's the reason I come to the gym.
17:34Not to lose weight, actually, but to forget that I've got cancer.
17:37I've got cancer.
17:37That's right.
17:38And now I've got to think about it all day long.
17:40No, no.
17:40I mean, I've got cancer as well.
17:41Good.
17:42What?
17:45Well, not good in that sense.
17:48Um, colonic cancer.
17:52I'm starting chemo in a week.
17:54No one's going to hit me like a ton of bricks.
17:55So, you know, I'm just trying to stay busy keeping fit.
17:58And, uh, well, that and the, uh, the charity I've started,
18:03a call on awareness.
18:05Um, well, you know.
18:09Anyway, um, yeah, it's, um, it's a very aggressive type.
18:14And, uh, if it doesn't respond, um, um,
18:21so what are these drugs you're on?
18:23They're a new type of drug.
18:28They're experimenting on them.
18:30They're, you know, it's promising,
18:32but they've got more tests to run.
18:35I mean, I feel great.
18:36What's it called?
18:38What's it called?
18:40What it's called is, oh, I think it's,
18:43oh, hex, uh, hexadimoxidol.
18:52I've never heard of that.
18:53I spend all my time looking this stuff up on the internet.
18:57What, what, what is it?
18:58Some, some kind of breakthrough drug, or...?
19:00It doesn't work with all types of cancer, so...
19:04What type do you have?
19:05I'd rather not go into it.
19:09Hey, don't, don't be embarrassed.
19:10You know, it doesn't get any worse than having it up your arse, does it?
19:13Oh, Christ, no.
19:14No, no, mine's, uh, mine's, mine's not up there.
19:19Uh, mine's more of a borderline cancer.
19:23Borderline?
19:23Yeah.
19:24Well, what does that mean?
19:25I didn't think you would have borderline cancer.
19:27Yeah, yeah, you can.
19:28No, it's, um, I actually, I might not actually have cancer,
19:33but, um...
19:35Well, have you got cancer, haven't you?
19:42Probably not.
19:45No, I haven't.
19:47You got the all clear?
19:51Not really, no.
19:54I didn't ever have it, so...
19:56Well, sorry, but why were you on the drugs
19:59that, you know, made you put on all this weight?
20:01Uh, that was something else that I can't discuss, so it's, uh...
20:06I-I don't understand why you, you know,
20:09why you'd say something like that if it isn't true.
20:13I know.
20:14No, it makes no sense to me, either.
20:18So...
20:18There is no new drug, is there?
20:25Sorry about that.
20:25This charity sounds very good, that you've started.
20:32That's well done.
20:33That's...
20:34How would I make a donation?
20:37Because I'd like to do that.
20:41If you just go to the website, you can donate online.
20:45Right.
20:46I'll do that.
20:48That's a promise.
20:50Right.
20:50Yeah.
20:51OK, well, I'll see you...
20:53again, you know...
20:56You know, definitely.
20:59Come on.
21:19Ten things you change about the world.
21:21I don't know.
21:22I don't know.
21:24Squirrels.
21:24What, you ban them?
21:27Make them redder, bigger, grayer?
21:29Whatever.
21:30Who cares?
21:31How about you hate people who tell you you put on weight?
21:35Yeah.
21:36Actually, anyone who tells you you put on weight
21:38should suffer a slow, agonizing death.
21:41Nice bit strong, isn't it?
21:43Maybe just fine them.
21:44Fine them?
21:45Yeah.
21:46Fine them.
21:48Hey, Magda.
21:50Did you take the cat back?
21:51Yes, I took the cat back.
21:53The woman is very happy.
21:54She's crying.
21:55She's so pleased.
21:56She gave me a reward.
21:57You didn't keep it, did you?
21:59You can't get her taking money off old women
22:00who've got nothing in their life but a cat.
22:02This is what I said to her, but she's crying.
22:05I'm so happy with cat.
22:06Please take money.
22:07Buy yourself presents.
22:08How much?
22:10100 pounds.
22:11You're kidding.
22:12No.
22:13100 pounds.
22:14Well, you have to give it back, Magda.
22:15I tried to give it back, but she would not take.
22:18She's crying.
22:20Well, in that case, I guess you get to keep it, Magda.
22:22Magda?
22:23Magda?
22:24Yeah, if the old lady insisted.
22:28What?
22:30I mean, really, if anyone should keep the money,
22:36it should be me, because technically,
22:39I was the one who found the cat.
22:42I was the one who thought to look in the garage,
22:44my garage.
22:45So really, if there is a reward for finding the cat,
22:48then I am the cat finder.
22:52You're going to keep the money?
22:54No, I'll donate it to a charity.
22:55Yeah, right.
22:56I will.
22:57Which one?
22:57Colon awareness.
22:59It's something I'm involved in.
23:00Really?
23:01I didn't know that.
23:02Yeah.
23:03This is good.
23:03There's a lot of things you don't know about me,
23:06because I don't boast.
23:06Sorry, you went to the gym, you had a workout.
23:15Yes, yes.
23:16And then you just told someone you had cancer?
23:18No, it wasn't just for no reason.
23:20He said I'd put on weight.
23:22So you didn't know he had cancer?
23:25No.
23:27Of course I didn't know he had cancer.
23:28It was just my bad luck.
23:30Yeah.
23:30Poor you.
23:31Oh, well.
23:34No more gym, then.
23:35You won't want to risk bumping into him.
23:38I'll be all right.
23:38Just leave it a few months.
23:43I can go jogging.
23:45I don't need all that fancy equipment.
23:47Anyway, it's OK, because I made a donation to his charity.
23:50Oh, good.
23:53How much was that?
23:54It was quite a lot, actually.
23:56It was generous.
23:57Would it have been a, I don't know, lost cap reward amount of money?
24:04See, do you all get together and have a briefing on what I've been up to?
24:08Since you mentioned it, yes.
24:09Naturally, I donated, what's-her-name's...
24:11Doris.
24:12Yeah, her money.
24:14But I also made my own private donation.
24:16Dear Mr. Spleen,
24:18thank you so much for your generous donation of £105.
24:22As you know, our charity depends upon...
24:24Don't read it out.
24:25This is personal stuff.
24:26You don't read it out.
24:27Don't be embarrassed.
24:28That was a beautiful gesture.
24:29Yeah, I know, but, you know, I like to keep it private.
24:32OK.
24:32Not a public matter.
24:33All right.
24:34Yeah.
24:35Did you see your column?
24:36Ten things that change about the world?
24:37Yeah, it was all right, wasn't it?
24:38It's good, right?
24:38OK.
24:39Yeah, it did look good.
24:39The free-running stuff was funny.
24:41Yeah, it was funny.
24:42Played well as well, actually.
24:44I'd treat myself to a new DVD player.
24:46Oh, wow.
24:47All right, I just treated myself.
24:49They're the best ones to get.
24:51Oh, yeah.
24:51Where'd you get it?
24:52Oh, Ben knows someone.
24:53He got me a deal.
24:54You know, what's the least he could do.
24:55That's top of the line?
24:56Yeah.
24:57Widescreen?
24:58Yeah, records.
24:59Records as well.
25:00Yeah, it's the wrong region, though.
25:02What?
25:03That's region one.
25:04So any DVDs that you buy over here,
25:06you can't play it on that.
25:07You're joking.
25:07No, it's no big deal.
25:08Just take it back and exchange it.
25:10You got the receipt.
25:11Of course I haven't got the receipt.
25:12I got it off Ben.
25:14Well, I've heard they can be adapted.
25:16Maybe.
25:17Get Ben to take the back off
25:19and see if he can fix it.
25:23Better now.
25:24He can sort it out for me.
25:28Oh, hi.
25:29Just been seeing my mum across the road.
25:31She said you found her cat.
25:33Oh, yeah.
25:33Yeah.
25:34Well, glad to be a help.
25:35I just looked in the garage and there he was.
25:37Listen, I really appreciate it.
25:39I had a funny feeling you'd be in there.
25:40That's why I checked.
25:41Yeah, she was really upset when he went missing.
25:43No, any time.
25:44Actually, I keep a bit of an eye on good old...
25:47Doris.
25:49Yeah.
25:49Yeah, that's very kind.
25:51Look, this is a bit awkward, but she said she gave you some money.
25:55Yeah, she did.
25:56Well, not me, actually.
25:57Magda, who works here.
25:59And Magda tried to give it back, but she wouldn't have it.
26:01Look, she's my mum.
26:02I know what she's like.
26:03She just wouldn't take the money back.
26:04She can be very determined when she wants to be.
26:06She certainly can.
26:08Thing is, I look after her money now.
26:10Ah, that's a good idea.
26:12So if you'd just like to give it back to me, I'll make sure it goes into her account.
26:17Well, I haven't really got it anymore.
26:21What do you mean?
26:23Well, when she wouldn't take it back, I thought the best thing would be to donate it to an appropriate charity.
26:27Which is what I did, and, um, we've got the receipt here.
26:37I think it's what she would have wanted.
26:41Colon awareness.
26:42How is that appropriate?
26:48Cats have colons, don't they?
26:51Look, if you want to make a donation to charity, use your own money.
26:56She's an 82-year-old woman.
26:59She gets confused.
27:01There's somebody in your position.
27:03All right.
27:04I think I know where this is going.
27:05I'll give you the money back.
27:07It's coming out of my own pocket, but it doesn't matter.
27:10Yeah, well, thanks for being so understanding.
27:13And, uh, if I were you, I'd just, um, check the garage before you close the door in the future.
27:18Yeah.
27:19Yeah, maybe you could have a word with Mogsy about not wandering into other people's garages.
27:23Oh, yeah.
27:25And, uh, I suspect I'll see you on television.
27:27Yes, I suspect so.
27:29You're, um, putting on a bit of, um...
27:31I'm going to get high, but I really can't take the pain.
27:55Cause if you throw away my soul like a hurricane
28:02I'm like a one-man band
28:06Tapping in the pouring rain
28:09Yeah, if I know where I'm going
28:13I'm going to go from where I am
28:16Now you're going to be in summertime
28:22Now you're going to see me
28:26And, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
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