- hace 5 meses
Because he failed to retrieve a little red code book from a KAOS courier, Max has to train three skilled convicts (a pickpocket, strongman, and safe-cracker) to break into a highly fortified mansion where the code book is being kept. The mansion just happens to belong to a southern Colonel who owns a successful chain of restaurants. A spoof of Colonel Sanders and the Kentucky Fried Chicken chain he founded.
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TVTranscripción
00:00Hello, Max Roe Smart here.
00:18Max, this is the Chief.
00:19Have you located Chaos Agent Borman?
00:21Yes, Chief.
00:22I understand that Borman is in the next compartment.
00:24Perfect.
00:25Now, Max, listen very carefully.
00:27This is quite important.
00:28Right, Chief.
00:28As we suspected, Borman is taking Chaos' new intelligence code to their southern headquarters.
00:33Then I'm to proceed with our plan, right, Chief?
00:35Right.
00:36I want Borman delivering the wrong code to Colonel Kirby's southern plantation tomorrow.
00:40Right, Chief.
00:41It's important, Max.
00:42Remember, if you can make the switch successfully, it'll set Chaos' intelligence operations back ten years.
00:48Don't worry, Chief.
00:48You can depend on me.
00:49Has Control Agent Porter contacted you yet?
00:52Not yet, Chief.
00:53But he should be contacting me any minute now.
00:56Wait a minute.
00:56I think that's him.
00:57I'll get back to you.
00:58Who is it?
01:03It's me, Porter.
01:08Well, I'm afraid you've made a mistake.
01:10I didn't order a drink.
01:10Max, it's me, Agent Porter.
01:13Is that you, Porter?
01:14What a great cover.
01:16Whatever made you think of becoming a Porter, Porter?
01:18Max, we're in luck.
01:19Borman just ordered a drink, and I'm taking it over there now.
01:23That's great.
01:25What did you just do?
01:27Well, I put a knockout pill in the drink.
01:29I already did.
01:30Oh, well, I hope that doesn't make it too strong.
01:33Borman's got to get off this train in the morning.
01:36Doesn't look too strong.
01:40It's okay.
01:42Max!
01:43You all right?
01:45Oh, oh, I'm fine.
01:46Now, look, Porter, here's what you do.
01:47You take this drink over to Borman,
01:49and when I think the druggers had time to take effect,
01:52I'll go in there and switch the codes.
01:54Good luck, Bax.
02:05Hello, Chief.
02:06Everything is going perfectly.
02:07Porter is taking the drug drink into Borman's compartment.
02:11Now, when Borman passes out,
02:13I'll go over and make the switch.
02:16Chief, I think Borman just passed out.
02:18Now, remember, Max,
02:19you'll find the code book taped to Borman's chest.
02:21Tape to the chest.
02:23Right, Chief.
02:39Now, remember, Max,
02:40you'll find the code book taped to Borman's chest.
02:43Oh, he's out.
03:06Oh, he's out.
04:45That's him now, Colonel Kyle K. Kirby.
04:47Don't let his appearances fool you, Max.
05:06Though he may seem to be a kindly southern gentleman, he's really one of the most ruthless, cold-blooded killers we've ever run up against.
05:14I know, Chief. I've eaten in one of his restaurants.
05:16Colonel Kirby is proficient with most weapons, but especially so with the bullwhip.
05:21Well, that's enough of that.
05:27A crack team of experts trained in commando tactics will go to Kirby's plantation to switch the code.
05:33But the right man must lead them.
05:34Well, it won't be the first time I've had to do something like this, Chief.
05:38Max, you've seen the plantation. It's a veritable fortress.
05:40Yes, well, I've gotten into tough places before.
05:43Well, you've seen the swamp, the heavily armed guards, the killer attack dogs.
05:46I've also handled things like that before, Chief.
05:49Max, this is a suicide mission.
05:51Whoever goes will probably never come back.
05:53Yes, well, whoever it is, Chief, let's wish him good luck.
05:57Good luck, Max.
06:00Convicts?
06:01Well, we had no choice, 99.
06:05We checked it out with the computer, and the only three men with the necessary qualifications to carry out the mission are now serving life sentences.
06:12And you're willing to work with them?
06:13Well, it wasn't a matter of that, 99.
06:15It was a matter of whether or not they were willing to work with me.
06:18The Chief finally got the governor to grant them full pardons if the mission came off successfully.
06:23Well, I've got to run along. It's getting late.
06:25We start training this morning, and I've only got two weeks to get ready.
06:28What's the matter?
06:29My back aches a little bit.
06:31Oh, she 99. I sure hope you have the baby before the two weeks is up.
06:35I'd hate to have to be out on that mission and worry about you and the baby.
06:38Well, the doctor says it'll be any day now.
06:40Well, I've got to run along. Goodbye.
06:43What's the matter? Your back again?
06:44No, my foot. You're standing on it.
06:52All right, officer. You can go back to the penitentiary. These men are in my custody now.
07:05All right, men. I'm Maxwell Smart, your commanding officer.
07:16So from now on when I talk to you, you will snap to attention.
07:20That's better. Much better.
07:25Name?
07:26Simmons.
07:27Why are you holding your hands up like that, Simmons?
07:28Because these are the most valuable things I own.
07:31Without my hands, I'd be out of business.
07:33I don't recall asking for a surgeon on this job.
07:35I'm a safe cracker.
07:41Name?
07:42Murphy.
07:42What do you do, Murphy?
07:53Guess.
07:55Lumberjack?
07:56I'm the muscle you asked for.
07:58Oh.
08:02Name?
08:03Farley.
08:04Oh, yes, Farley. I've heard about you.
08:06They say that you're the greatest pickpocket in the country.
08:09In the world.
08:11Oh, really?
08:11Well, we'll see about that.
08:14All right, gentlemen.
08:15Now, time is of the essence.
08:17So in exactly...
08:18...
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09:52How are things going, Max?
09:59Well, Chief, they need a lot of work.
10:01I'm afraid we've run out of time.
10:03What are you talking about, run out of time?
10:05We've been training for less than a week.
10:07Max, Chaos changed their plans.
10:08We've just learned that Colonel Kirby is turning the code over to their courier at midnight tonight.
10:13Tonight?
10:14Yes, you leave for the South in one hour.
10:16Let's synchronize our watches.
10:17Right, Chief.
10:21Farley!
10:23Synchronize my watch!
10:31I want you to call me on my wristwatch phone the minute the labor pains start.
10:35Max, that won't be necessary.
10:37The Chief is standing by to take me to the hospital.
10:39I know, 99, but I want to feel like I'm near you at a time like that.
10:43All right, I'll call you on your wrist phone.
10:45All right, now remember, no matter what time of the day or night,
10:47no matter what I'm doing, I want you to call me.
10:49All right, goodbye, love.
10:50Gee, I'm sorry I'm late, 99.
10:52Did you have the baby yet?
10:56Of course she didn't have the baby yet.
10:59What are you doing here?
11:00I came here to take her to the hospital to have the baby.
11:03Well, we don't know when she's going to have the baby.
11:05She could have it tonight, she could have it tomorrow night, she could have it the next night.
11:09Gee, I hope not, Max.
11:10That's why I'm here now.
11:11I'm tied up for the rest of the week.
11:12You mean to tell me that's all the business you did last week?
11:19Why, mighty disappointing.
11:23Mighty disappointing.
11:25Business that bad, Colonel?
11:27I tell you, Borman, honey.
11:29It's a darn lucky thing that all my restaurants are being used to distribute chaos information,
11:33otherwise we'd be out of business.
11:36I'm just amazed that people don't cotton to your Tennessee fricassee frog legs.
11:40They didn't go for my Tennessee fricassee eels or my Tennessee fricassee possum either.
11:46Borman, honey, will you please get that infernal chicken out of the house?
11:50Hey, there's something you haven't thought of yet, Colonel Chicken.
11:57Chicken?
11:58Yeah, I can see it all now.
12:01Colonel Kirby's Tennessee fricassee chicken.
12:05Who'd eat that?
12:12Colonel, honey, we haven't been out of the house in a long time.
12:17We never go anywhere anymore.
12:19Can't we go into town tonight for some fun?
12:22Not tonight, Borman.
12:24You know Kessinger the Chaos Courier is coming tonight to pick up the code.
12:29But I'm so bored.
12:34Borman.
12:36Honey,
12:39I've got a little surprise for you up in the attic.
12:42You do, darling?
12:44I've been saving it a long, long time.
12:46Waiting for the right woman to come along.
12:49Oh, Colonel, I'm so excited.
12:53What is it?
12:54Well, tell me what it is.
12:57Oh, it's something my daddy gave me a long time ago.
13:00That I saved.
13:02What?
13:03What?
13:04Nobody knows this, honey.
13:08But I've got a slave left.
13:17Keep moving.
13:18Another hundred yards and we'll be through the swamp.
13:21Smart.
13:21I think I see the plantation.
13:24You're right, Simmons.
13:25All right, now here's what we'll do.
13:26As soon as we get to land, we'll hide this boat in the woods and then we'll make our way to the main gate of the plantation.
13:32Hello.
13:36Hello, Max.
13:37It's for you.
13:41Hello, Smart here.
13:42Hello, Max.
13:43It's me, 99.
13:44Oh, hi, 99.
13:45How are you feeling?
13:45I'm fine, Max.
13:46But you made me promise to call you the minute the pain started.
13:49Oh, fellas, my wife is beginning to get pains.
13:51How far apart are they, 99?
13:53Well, I don't know yet.
13:53I've only had one.
13:54She's only had one so far.
13:5799, will you do me a favor?
13:59Call me back when you get to.
14:00Okay, Max.
14:01Bye.
14:04All right, Ben, let's go.
14:05Come on, move out, move out.
14:08Let's go, move out.
14:10Come on.
14:24He's coming this way.
14:25Okay, Farley.
14:26Here's where we find out just how good a pickpocket you really are.
14:29I want the keys off that guard's belt.
14:31Consider it, then.
14:43I only wanted the keys, Farley, not the dog.
14:46You better take it, Smart.
14:48Farley gets offended real easy.
14:50Thank you, Farley.
14:52It's a pleasure.
14:52What else do you need?
14:53Nothing.
14:54Now, you're going to have to stay here with the dog and watch him so that he doesn't bark.
14:57Simmons, Murphy, let's go.
15:06Open the gate, Simmons.
15:07Will you hurry up, Simmons?
15:23I can't find the right key.
15:25Murphy, what are you doing inside the gate?
15:45You're supposed to be out here with us.
15:48Then when we open the gate, we all go in.
15:52How did you get in there?
15:54I bended the pole.
15:56He bended the pole.
15:58Come on.
15:59All right, hold it.
16:06Now, the first thing we...
16:07Hello?
16:10Hello, Max.
16:10It's me again.
16:11Oh, hi, 99.
16:12How are you feeling?
16:12Well, the pains are coming every 20 minutes now, but the doctor says not to be concerned
16:16until they're 10 minutes apart.
16:18All right, now listen.
16:18When they come 10 minutes apart, call the chief and have them come right over.
16:21Then call me.
16:22I will, Max.
16:23I love you.
16:25I love you too, 99.
16:33Smart.
16:34Look.
16:38It's kissing to the chaos chorea.
16:40Smart, I think that building is the guard's barracks.
16:58All right.
16:59Now, here's what I want you to do.
17:00Murphy, I want you to get over there and lock them in.
17:03Semenza, you come with me.
17:04We've got to get into the house, get into that safe, and switch the code before the colonel
17:07can hand it over to Kessinger.
17:08All right, let's go.
17:10Close that door.
17:29Open up!
17:30Open up!
17:35Rick, close the door, Semenza.
17:38Now, the safe should be somewhere in this room.
17:41Well, just don't stand there, Semenza.
17:43You're the expert.
17:44Find the safe.
17:44I am an expert at opening them, not finding them.
17:49Well, fortunately, I happen to be an expert at finding them.
17:53Now, according to my calculations, the safe should be right behind that painting.
18:01Are you sure?
18:02Here, help me move this safe over so I can stand on it and get a better look.
18:07Well, just don't stand there, Semenza.
18:27I found the safe.
18:28Now, open it.
18:28Hello.
18:29Hello.
18:30Max?
18:3199.
18:32How do you feel?
18:33Well, the pains are 10 minutes apart now.
18:34Oh, that's great.
18:35The pains are coming 10 minutes apart now.
18:36Beautiful.
18:3799, is the chief there yet?
18:38No, Max, but he should be here any minute.
18:39Listen, if everything goes according to plan, I should be back in Washington tomorrow morning.
18:40I'll come right to the hospital.
18:41Oh, Max, I'm so excited.
18:42I can't talk anymore, 99.
18:43I'm very, very busy.
18:44I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?
18:45Okay.
18:46Goodbye, sweetheart.
18:47How's it coming, Simmons?
18:48I'm just about there.
18:49Here.
18:50Hold the flashlight.
18:51Okay.
18:52Okay.
18:53Okay.
18:54Okay.
18:55Okay.
18:56Okay.
18:57Okay.
18:58Okay.
18:59Okay.
19:00Okay.
19:01Okay.
19:02Okay.
19:03Okay.
19:04Okay.
19:05Okay.
19:06Okay.
19:07Okay.
19:08Okay.
19:09Okay.
19:10Okay.
19:11What's the matter?
19:12I don't know.
19:13It must be the batteries.
19:15Don't move.
19:16I know exactly where it is.
19:19Oh!
19:22What's the matter?
19:23You stepped on my hand.
19:25Oh, sorry about that.
19:27We'll take care of it later.
19:28Right now, we gotta open up that safe.
19:29How am I gonna open a safe when I can't straighten out my fingers?
19:32Well, what are we gonna do?
19:34You're gonna open a safe.
19:35Are you crazy?
19:36I never opened a safe in my life.
19:37I'll tell you what to do.
19:39Come on.
19:42Now, turn it slowly.
19:44One quarter turn to the right.
19:54What next?
19:55That's it.
19:56I was closer than I figured.
19:57Well, come on, make the switch.
19:59Stay right where you are.
20:06Kessinger.
20:07Pick up that gun.
20:12So...
20:13Control agents, huh?
20:15I don't know what you're talking about.
20:16We're just regular, run-of-the-mill, everyday burglars.
20:18What's your name?
20:19I don't have to give you my name, Colonel.
20:20All I have to do is to give you my control serial number.
20:22Eight, six, five.
20:23All right.
20:24Now hand over the code book.
20:25We don't have the code book.
20:26We don't have the code book.
20:27You got us before we had a chance to get it out of the safe.
20:28Go take a look for yourself.
20:29That's right, Colonel.
20:30We don't have the code book.
20:31Good work, Simmons.
20:32Take a look for yourself.
20:33More than a three-two-eight-two-eight-two-eight-six-five.
20:34All right.
20:36Now hand over the code book.
20:39We don't have the code book.
20:41You got us before we had a chance to get it out of the safe.
20:44Go take a look for yourself.
20:46That's right, Colonel.
20:47We don't have the code book.
20:48Good work, Simmons.
20:50Take a look for yourself.
20:52Boarman, keep them covered.
21:03passenger take the code book and get going start distribution immediately
21:09earlier this evening you complained about being bored borman well these gentlemen are now going
21:20to provide you with a little entertainment before they die now which one would you like to see go
21:29first start with the cute one it's always been my curse not you the cute one let him go first he
21:44seems so anxious all right boy start dancing i don't know how to dance however i'm certainly willing to
21:55learn hold it hello hello max the chief is waiting for me downstairs i'm on my way to the hospital
22:06right now are you all right 99 yes the pains are coming every 10 minutes now good mine are coming
22:11every five seconds hey just a minute fella that was my wife i was talking to okay that does it colonel
22:20i'm not dancing for you anymore we'll see
22:25oh boy
22:30colonel colonel are you all right
22:41hello well you can stop worrying now max we started for the hospital and the pain stopped
22:52it was a false alarm i'm happy to hear that 99 i really wanted to be with you when the baby came
22:56well it looks like the case here is all wrapped up i'll be home first thing in the morning oh that's
23:01wonderful love see you then goodbye sweetheart simmons here
23:05well simmons i guess you realize that this means a full pardon for you and murphy and farley
23:12well i'll tell you something smart i've learned my lesson as soon as i get out i'm going into business
23:17for myself well i'm happy to hear that what kind of business are you going into i'm going to become
23:22a television repairman oh well if i were you when i got out i'd go straight
23:27well if i didn't fall out in business
23:50¶¶
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