- hace 5 meses
Max and the Chief investigate a series of security leaks that seem to be connected to a chain of Roman Bath spas.
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00:00All right, Senator Brookside, hold it right there.
00:09What is it now, smart?
00:11This locker hasn't been checked out yet.
00:22Well, have you discovered anything?
00:24I certainly did.
00:26What is it?
00:27This locker can't be opened by the inside.
00:30Okay, security check completed.
00:37You can hang your coat up now.
00:38Of course I can hang it up now.
00:40Smart, when are you going to stop this foolishness?
00:41I'm sorry, Senator, but your committee happens to be dealing with information that is vital to the security of this country.
00:48And some of that information has been leaking out.
00:50I know, but do we have to worry about it here in the Roman baths?
00:52Yes, particularly here in the Roman baths, because there are six of these Roman baths, and each one of them is located right next to an important missile base.
01:01Yes, I'm very well aware of that.
01:02Yes, and besides that, we've thought for a long time that these baths are somehow connected with the chaos organization.
01:09So you see, Senator Brookside, we have to be extremely careful.
01:17And it's my job to see that nothing goes wrong.
01:20Mr. Leach, good morning.
01:31You're just in time.
01:32What is it, Mr. Centurion?
01:34Senator Brookside is in the locker room.
01:38Splendid.
01:39Is he alone?
01:40No, there's a control agent with him.
01:42Ah, control has never been a problem to me.
01:45Is the senator scheduled for the steam room?
01:47Right now.
01:54Excellent.
01:56The truth steam will give us the results we desire.
01:59See to it.
02:05How much truth steam shall I administer?
02:07It's enough to keep him babbling for ten minutes.
02:10Telephone call for Maxwell Smart.
02:12Did you hear that?
02:13Yes, I heard it.
02:17Telephone call for Maxwell Smart.
02:25Maxwell Smart speaking.
02:27Hi, Chief.
02:27What's up?
02:28Max, does the name Montague Leach mean anything to you?
02:31It certainly does, Chief.
02:32He's the drummer with the electric hair.
02:34No, Max.
02:35He's not a drummer with the electric hair.
02:37He left the group?
02:38Max, he's an eccentric but highly successful chaos agent
02:43who runs a chain of spas called the Roman Baths.
02:46Yes, Chief.
02:47Now that you mention it, it does sound familiar.
02:49Then you've heard of Montague Leach.
02:51No, I've heard of the Roman Baths.
02:54Max, you're in the Roman Baths.
02:56Then it all ties up, Chief.
02:58I've not only heard of it, I've seen it.
02:59It's on Senator Brookside's towel.
03:01Now, Centurion, the truth steal.
03:15Welcome to the Roman Baths, Senator Brookside.
03:46This is Montague Leach speaking.
03:49Every question I put to you, you will answer.
03:51And you will answer truthfully and completely.
03:55Do you understand?
03:57I understand.
03:59Max, don't let the senator out of your sight for a second.
04:01Chief, you don't have to tell me that.
04:03While I'm talking to you, he's not five feet away from me in the steam room.
04:07Our latest service to air missile is something our technology is extremely proud of.
04:12It's tip rises to a perfect peak.
04:17It has an amazing small length.
04:21I'll say one thing for Senator Brookside, Chief.
04:23For a man his age, it's no wonder he's in such great physical shape.
04:27What do you mean?
04:27He's not only taking a steam bath, he's doing calisthenics.
04:31It has an awesome mogul.
04:36Number seven.
04:41Lemon.
04:41Four?
04:42Email.
04:43Email.
04:44Comment.
04:45Email.
04:45Email.
04:46Email.
04:46Email.
04:47Email.
04:48Email.
04:48Email.
04:49Email.
04:50Email.
04:52El constructor.
04:53Email.
04:54Email.
04:54Email.
04:54Email.
04:55For sure.
04:56Email.
04:57Email.
04:58Email.
04:58Email.
04:59Email.
04:59Email.
04:59divine involving.
04:59Email.
05:30I'm going to put the babies to bed, Max.
05:50You need any help, 99?
06:01No, thanks, love. I don't need any help.
06:03Oh, well, I could use some.
06:06Hold on, Max.
06:07When you get a minute, would you call my mother and tell her we got home all right?
06:11You got home all right?
06:12I'm still out in the hall.
06:25Who is it?
06:26Max, it's me, the chief. Open the door.
06:28Oh, could you come back a little later, chief?
06:30No, Max, it's urgent. I have to see you right away.
06:33Well, I have my hands full now.
06:36Well, maybe the door's open.
06:40Sorry about that, Max.
06:45Max, where have you been all afternoon? I've been trying to get hold of you.
06:48Well, 99 and I took the twins to see their grandmother. We just got back. What's up, chief?
06:52Max, this afternoon we captured a chaos courier with secret plans
06:55taken from Senator Brookside only yesterday while he was in your protective custody.
07:00But that's impossible, chief. They couldn't have gotten any information out of Senator Brookside.
07:04I never let him out of my sight for a single moment.
07:07Well, that confirms our suspicion that Montague Leach's spas are involved in our security leaks.
07:13Here, will you hold this diaper bag for me, chief?
07:15Yeah.
07:16But we only had proof this isn't a diaper bag, Max. It's a bottle bag.
07:20No, it's a diaper bag, chief.
07:22It's a bottle bag, Max.
07:23Look, chief, I'm the father and I said it's a diaper bag.
07:26That isn't enough to convince you. Maybe this will.
07:31Oh, you better get that off right away, chief. Milk stains.
07:39Who are you talking to, Max?
07:41Oh, the chief. He just went in the kitchen for a minute.
07:44Oh, you get it. I'll clean up this time.
07:48Hi, Max. Is the chief here?
07:50Chief, it's Larrabee.
07:52Tell him I'm not here.
07:53He's not on the phone. He's at the door.
07:56Then don't open it.
07:58It's too late.
08:00Maybe not. How do you get this window open in here?
08:02You know, Max, sometimes I think the chief doesn't like me.
08:05Why do you say that, Larrabee?
08:07I'll tell you, 99.
08:08Take that beautiful Japanese dagger he gave me for my birthday.
08:11Well, I saw that dagger.
08:13That's very expensive.
08:14If the chief didn't like you, he wouldn't give you a gift like that.
08:17That's just it, 99.
08:18He didn't give it to me.
08:19He threw it at me.
08:21Ah, a Japanese dagger, eh?
08:23That's a very unusual gift, Larrabee.
08:26Yeah, it is.
08:26But what am I going to do with it?
08:28Have you got any suggestions, Max?
08:35What is it, Larrabee?
08:35This envelope just came from the Pentagon.
08:37It's been officially sealed, contains top secret information for you and you alone.
08:41Thank you, Larrabee.
08:42Your plan for undercover surveillance has been approved.
08:47Max, this is a break we've been waiting for.
08:49Well, aren't you going to open it?
08:51Why, Larrabee never lied before.
08:52Thus far, Centurion, there is only one remaining piece of information needed to complete the report.
08:59And that information lies with Senator Van Horn.
09:03Senator Van Horn has been in Europe inspecting missile sites.
09:06He was due back over the weekend.
09:07Have you sent him the usual invitational offer to partake of our facilities gratis?
09:12It's been done.
09:13Then we can be expecting him momentarily.
09:15I wish to be informed the second of his arrival.
09:22Yes?
09:29That was Marcus at the front desk.
09:32Senator Van Horn has just checked in.
09:35At last.
09:37And good news.
09:38There's a control agent guarding him.
09:40Why is that good news?
09:41It's the same control agent that guarded Senator Brookside.
09:44Maxwell Smart.
09:46That's not good news.
09:48That's sensational news.
10:03All right, Senator Van Horn, you can come in now.
10:08So far, so good.
10:09Now, Max, we've got to check out the entire spa for a hidden microphone.
10:12We'll start right here in this room, Chief, because this is the room where Senator Brookside
10:16and I were talking, and I know that it's bugged.
10:19Good.
10:19You look over there, and I'll look in here.
10:21Right, Chief.
10:23Wait a minute, Chief.
10:25I have to make sure we're not being watched.
10:32Yes, what'd you do that for?
10:34Well, Chief, I had to make sure it wasn't a two-way mirror.
10:36Let's look for the wiring.
10:39If this room is bugged, we'll spot the wiring.
10:43Wait a minute, Chief.
10:45Look.
10:48The old bug in the towel trick.
10:51I'm talking about.
10:53That towel, Chief.
10:54I'm absolutely positive it's bug.
10:56I'm going to check it out.
10:56I'm going to check it out.
11:16I'm going to check it out.
11:19I'm going to check it out.
11:20Good day, Chief.
11:21Yeah, good day, good day.
11:21Good day, I'm going to check it out.
11:21Good day, Mr. accompanying.
11:23Good day, sir.
11:24Here, come on.
11:24Good day.
11:25Good, it's empty. We can talk in here without being overheard.
11:47I can't figure it out, Max.
11:49I know information is leaking out through this place,
11:51but there's absolutely no sign of how it's being done.
11:55They're in the steam room now.
11:59Excellent. I'm sure they'll prove to be as cooperative as our previous guests.
12:04Give them the truth, steam.
12:09Boy, it's really getting hot in here, Chief.
12:12Yes, it is a little uncomfortable, but I don't really mind, Max.
12:14I can afford to lose a few pounds.
12:16Don't be silly, Chief. For a man you arrange, you're in fantastic condition.
12:23Actually, to be quite truthful with you, Chief,
12:25that's quite a bay window you've got there.
12:28Anybody ever tell you you see pretty well for a man with squinty eyes?
12:32Well, it's a good thing for control that I do,
12:35because there are a lot of things that you overlook.
12:37The only things that I overlook are all the mistakes that you make.
12:41If you weren't like a son to me, I would have fired you a long while ago.
12:44Well, I'm very fond of you, too, Chief, in spite of all your drawbacks.
12:47Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Max.
12:49Even though you're the cause of all my migraine headaches and prematurely gray hair.
12:54You don't have any hair, Chief. You're bald.
12:57If I did have any hair, it would be gray, believe me.
13:00I've heard enough, Centurion. Turn off the speaker.
13:07So, our Senator Van Horn turns out to be the Chief of Control.
13:13We must dispose of them immediately.
13:16Lock the door to the steam room.
13:23Turn off the truth steam.
13:24The truth steam is off.
13:29Now turn up the live steam to 500 degrees.
13:33That much?
13:54Chief, the temperature in here is definitely getting too hot.
14:07Why do you say that?
14:08My locker key is melting.
14:10As you mentioned it, Max, I thought it was only me.
14:12It is very warm in here.
14:18Chief, look at your toupee.
14:20What's the matter with it?
14:21It's saluting.
14:22Max, we've got to get out of here right away.
14:24Right, Chief.
14:25Hurry up, Max. I'm having trouble breathing.
14:27Why don't you do what I do when I have trouble breathing, Chief?
14:29What do you do?
14:29I take steam.
14:30Let's get the door open.
14:32I can't, Chief. It's stuck.
14:34Let me try.
14:41Max, here is it stuck.
14:43It's locked from the outside.
14:44But then we're in luck, Chief.
14:45All we have to do is go outside and open it up.
14:48How are we going to get outside and open it up if we're locked inside?
14:51Max, don't you see they're trying to kill us?
14:52Well, then that must mean that they're on to us.
14:55If we only had a gun, Chief, we could shoot our way out.
14:58Max, we do have a gun.
14:59Of course.
14:59We do have a gun?
15:01Yes.
15:01I had control put a Minnie Mouser under my toupee.
15:04A Minnie Mouser?
15:05Yes.
15:06It's a new control weapon developed by Professor Peter Peckinpah.
15:10You've seen it.
15:11The Professor Peter Peckinpah All-Purpose Antipersonnel Peckinpah Pocket Pistol.
15:15Of course.
15:16The Professor Peter Peckinpah All-Purpose Antipersonnel Peckinpah Pocket Pistol
15:20under the toupee drip.
15:22Max, will you open the door?
15:23I'll shoot it open, Chief.
15:24Come on, stand back.
15:25Right.
15:37Max, they're coming.
15:39Come on, Chief.
15:39This way.
15:40Go away.
15:48Quickly.
15:49Seal off the entire spa.
15:50I want them dead or dead.
16:10Psst, Chief.
16:13Are they gone?
16:14Yes, I think we're in the clear.
16:15All right, Max, your shoe phone.
16:16It's our only chance.
16:17Right, the shoe phone.
16:19Wait a minute, Chief.
16:20I can't use the shoe phone.
16:21I left it in the locker.
16:23Well, open up the locker.
16:24But I can't.
16:25Look, the steam melted down the locker key.
16:28Max, look at your key.
16:30It's melted in the shape of a coin.
16:32Yeah, just about the size of a dime.
16:35And over there on that wall, there's a phone.
16:37Of course, Chief.
16:39We'll call a locksmith and have a new key made for the locker.
16:42Max, we won't call a locksmith.
16:44We'll call Larrabee.
16:45Oh, I don't think that's a good idea, Chief.
16:46I don't think Larrabee knows anything about lockers or keys.
16:49Max, Larrabee can send help.
17:04We should have heard from them by now, Larrabee.
17:3099, don't worry.
17:31Believe me, they're all right.
17:32I think they're in trouble.
17:34I think so, too.
17:39Control headquarters, Larrabee speaking.
17:41Larrabee, Maxwell Smart.
17:43Smart's not here now.
17:44Would you like to leave a message?
17:45No, I don't want to leave a message.
17:48Okay, fella.
17:51Chief, he hung up on me.
17:53Max, now we've got to get out of here alive.
17:55If it's only to kill Larrabee.
17:57What do we do?
17:58Call him back.
17:59With what?
17:59That was my last melted key.
18:01I'll use mine.
18:02Well, didn't he say who it was?
18:15No, he just wanted to talk to Max.
18:17Oh.
18:18Oh.
18:20Control headquarters.
18:21Larrabee, this is Max.
18:23Oh, hi, Max.
18:24You just had a call, but the guy didn't want to leave a message.
18:26Larrabee, that was me.
18:28Oh, is that you?
18:29Well, you should have left a message.
18:30We've been worried sick over here.
18:31Let me talk to him, Larrabee.
18:33Hello, Max.
18:34Are you all right?
18:35I'm fine, 99, but believe me, I'm glad you're there.
18:38This is very important.
18:39I sure hate to trust it to Larrabee.
18:42I know what you mean, Max.
18:45Now, get this, 99, and get it straight.
18:47The security of the entire United States is at stake.
18:50The security of the entire United States is at stake.
18:53Take this down, Larrabee.
18:55This is a code four alert.
18:58This is a code four alert.
19:00Code four?
19:00You sure it's not a code five?
19:01Max, are you sure it's not a code five?
19:04Code four.
19:06Code four.
19:07The security of the whole United States is at stake, and it's only a code four?
19:10Seems to me like it should be a five, at least a four and a half.
19:13Let me talk to him.
19:15Max, are you sure that's a code four?
19:18Larrabee, will you get off the phone?
19:20Give me that phone, Max.
19:22Larrabee, this is the chief.
19:23I can't talk to you now, chief.
19:25We're in the midst of a code four alert.
19:28Chief, somebody's coming.
19:30Larrabee, hold on.
19:31Sorry, gentlemen.
19:35You've been cut off.
19:39Well, gentlemen, we meet at last.
19:41So you're Montague Leach.
19:43The man they call the emperor.
19:45Now that we're your prisoners, what do you intend to do to us?
19:48I'm going to dispose of you.
19:50And then what?
19:52Which one of you would like to go first?
19:54Well, the chief has seniority.
19:57Thanks, Max.
19:58Well, after all, chief, you've worked for control for a lot of years.
20:01You're certainly entitled to a few benefits.
20:04You will go first, Mr. Smart.
20:07However, I'm going to give you a sporting chance.
20:11Does that mean I get to go to the track?
20:14Mr. Smart, this is trial by combat.
20:17Just as it was done in the days of ancient Rome,
20:20when the gladiators fought in the Colosseum.
20:24Centurion?
20:28Well, I think this has gone far enough.
20:34All right, you big, ugly gorilla.
20:36Let's see how good you are without your fork.
20:51Listen, I hope I wasn't out of line with that crock about the big, ugly gorilla.
20:55Oh, wait a minute.
20:59This isn't fair.
21:00I don't have a weapon.
21:05Oh, I was thinking more in terms of a submachine gun.
21:10Let the combat begin!
21:13Let it begin!
21:15Max, you're the combat.
21:16Put on the gear.
21:17Hey, watch it with that net.
21:43You're liable to get my saw tangled in it.
21:45That's the purpose, Mr. Smart.
21:47Stop!
21:48the
22:18the
22:38you see
22:39you see
22:40hello
22:48well
23:09mr leach
23:10what do you have to say now very little i let this speak for me
23:14now look what you've done what you bump into me for just when i was taking aim
23:21the
23:28the
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23:50the
23:52the
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23:56the
23:58the
24:00the
24:03the
24:07the
24:09the
24:11the
24:17the
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