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  • 4 months ago
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Transcript
00:00:00Happy birthday.
00:00:01Posted.
00:00:02There you are.
00:00:03Hi.
00:00:04I just wanted to have a, you know,
00:00:07a moment just with my beautiful wife.
00:00:13You know, I was thinking about today.
00:00:14What?
00:00:15When I first saw you 20 years ago
00:00:19across the bar at the El Sombrero.
00:00:21Aw.
00:00:22And how I knew right away
00:00:25that in 20 years
00:00:28I would still be looking at you.
00:00:30Oh, my God.
00:00:3220 years.
00:00:34Can you believe it?
00:00:36Yeah.
00:00:37I can.
00:00:38Yeah.
00:00:39Because I love you.
00:00:40I love you.
00:00:44Happy birthday.
00:00:46Happy birthday.
00:00:48God.
00:00:50That was so sweet.
00:00:52I mean, I'm just a great guy.
00:00:55Can you do that again?
00:00:57What do you mean?
00:00:58What?
00:00:59For the birthday episode?
00:01:00Shall we?
00:01:01Come on.
00:01:02Just a quick video.
00:01:03The moment has passed.
00:01:04That was beautiful.
00:01:05Honey, please.
00:01:06I want to record it.
00:01:07And I want everybody to see how wonderful that was.
00:01:08It was a real thing.
00:01:09You know what?
00:01:10I gotta brush my teeth real quick.
00:01:11What?
00:01:12Didn't you just brush your teeth?
00:01:13Do you have anything to do?
00:01:14Oh, I can't do it.
00:01:16Lay down your head in the corner when you try.
00:01:17Do not press.
00:01:18No, you need you, buddy.
00:01:19No.
00:01:20I'm not sure.
00:01:21I wish I could 다 run around in the park's home,
00:01:22but I don't need you to send out the door.
00:01:23That's how true.
00:01:24I made it specific to you, my eyes and eyes and eyes.
00:01:25Anyway, when I end up in the tunnel,
00:01:26the time for over about what I left,
00:01:28I could get themック miitным shopper.
00:01:29Oh, my God.
00:01:59What the fuck?
00:02:05Hello?
00:02:06Oh, God. Oh, God. Is this a surprise party?
00:02:08You know I hate surprises.
00:02:09No, I would not do that to you.
00:02:11I know.
00:02:12Oh, they're supposed to be here.
00:02:14Hey, we should, uh, we should try not to overshare tonight, okay?
00:02:17Oh, by we, you mean me?
00:02:19Yes, I mean you.
00:02:20Do I?
00:02:22You know what I hate?
00:02:23No.
00:02:23Patio furniture.
00:02:24Oh, guys are no patio furniture.
00:02:26Oh, guys!
00:02:27Oh, my God, it's so good to see you.
00:02:33Happy birthday.
00:02:34You guys look so great.
00:02:35Thank you for coming.
00:02:37Here, come on in.
00:02:38Wow.
00:02:39You love it.
00:02:40Oh, got brick.
00:02:42I know.
00:02:43We got so much brick.
00:02:45Where did you find this place?
00:02:46I found it through this incredible rental company, and the show gave me a stipend for the party.
00:02:52What?
00:02:53Wow.
00:02:53The podcast must be doing really well.
00:02:55Yeah.
00:02:56Congratulations.
00:02:56Yes.
00:02:57Oh, God.
00:02:59Oh, boy.
00:03:00Oh, come here.
00:03:02What?
00:03:03Look at this.
00:03:04Oh.
00:03:05Hey, guys.
00:03:06Hugging royalty.
00:03:07Look at you.
00:03:08Wow.
00:03:09Happy birthday, Jack.
00:03:11Hugs.
00:03:11Tell him.
00:03:12Tell him.
00:03:12Tell him.
00:03:13You look great.
00:03:13Look at this incredible colorist confidence.
00:03:16Look at the leather pants.
00:03:17Oh, I can see your penis.
00:03:19Oh, there it is.
00:03:20Right there, slightly to the right, and presenting the appetizers.
00:03:24Oh, hello.
00:03:25How many cows died to create these pants?
00:03:27No, they're actually vegan leather.
00:03:29Oh, good, because I'm lactose intolerant.
00:03:31Here, just give it a feel.
00:03:33Come on.
00:03:34It's so real.
00:03:35Just step into me.
00:03:36Who wants a drink?
00:03:37Let's get a drink.
00:03:38Let's get a drink.
00:03:38Come on.
00:03:41Look at this spread.
00:03:43I know.
00:03:43It's great, right?
00:03:44May I?
00:03:46I cannot believe we're 40.
00:03:47Oh, I know.
00:03:49I look so young, though.
00:03:50You do.
00:03:51Isn't it freaky?
00:03:52Is there a restroom I could use?
00:03:55Yes, just inside to the left.
00:03:57Mm-hmm.
00:03:58You guys have been together longer than you've been apart.
00:04:01No, I know.
00:04:01It's true.
00:04:02I was starting a family.
00:04:03You're pregnant.
00:04:04Oh.
00:04:05No.
00:04:06No, no, no, no, no.
00:04:06Not yet.
00:04:07Oh.
00:04:07I'm trying, though.
00:04:09Oh, that's amazing.
00:04:10Mm-hmm.
00:04:11It is amazing.
00:04:12Oh, you guys have been together for a really long time.
00:04:14Yeah.
00:04:15What's your secret?
00:04:16Well, we're open.
00:04:17But we weren't always open.
00:04:19It's kind of new-ish.
00:04:20Well, when Ish had cancer, he wasn't, like, feeling that sexy.
00:04:24So he was like, you know, please go get your needs met.
00:04:26And, you know, I did.
00:04:27And then when he got healthier, I was like, you should go partake as well because you have
00:04:31a lot of kinks that I don't really have the endurance for.
00:04:33Does that make sense?
00:04:34And I was like, get out there.
00:04:35But we have a lot of rules.
00:04:37January to May, we are not open.
00:04:38That's cuffing season.
00:04:39We can't be in the state where either of our mothers live.
00:04:41The bathroom has a bidet.
00:04:44I mean, I didn't use it.
00:04:45I just...
00:04:45What did I miss?
00:04:48They are starting a family.
00:04:50Well, well, well.
00:05:08It is in the one and only Moe.
00:05:10Wow.
00:05:11Logan, I had no idea you would be here.
00:05:15Yes, you did.
00:05:16Yeah, I did.
00:05:20What are you doing?
00:05:23Great.
00:05:24Huh?
00:05:24Yeah, you?
00:05:25I'm great.
00:05:30Are you drunk?
00:05:32We partied a little.
00:05:37What?
00:05:38Did you get your nose pierced?
00:05:40No.
00:05:41I mean, yes, but like many years ago.
00:05:45It's cute.
00:05:46Vodka.
00:05:48Your favorite.
00:05:49Yeah, when I was 20.
00:05:50Get that out of here.
00:05:52I can't believe you.
00:05:54You look, uh...
00:05:55You look healthy.
00:05:59Healthy?
00:06:00Yeah.
00:06:01Am I a dairy cow?
00:06:03Make her MTO Sunday for surgery Monday.
00:06:05Yeah, it's risky.
00:06:06Plan is for left awake frontotemporal cramide.
00:06:08We're monitoring.
00:06:09Try not to waste any more of the breast milk.
00:06:10Okay, thank you.
00:06:11Sorry.
00:06:12Bye-bye.
00:06:12Lana?
00:06:13Hello?
00:06:14Hello?
00:06:15You're cutting out.
00:06:16You all right?
00:06:24Yeah.
00:06:25Fine.
00:06:28Try to have a bit of fun.
00:06:31I will.
00:06:32Um, let's try not to have too much fun because we do need to leave at five tomorrow morning
00:06:36to be back in time for Rocco.
00:06:37Sorry, what was that?
00:06:39I just got lost in those grey-green eyes of yours.
00:06:43God, you are B-E-A-utiful, aren't you?
00:06:48Sam.
00:06:48Stunning.
00:06:50Stop it.
00:06:51Can't, but I think I have to.
00:06:53No, stop it.
00:06:53Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:55They're waiting for us to get out.
00:06:56It's silly now.
00:06:57No!
00:06:57Oh, shit, is that Logan?
00:07:01In the flesh, baby!
00:07:03Mwah!
00:07:04I forgot it.
00:07:05Ah!
00:07:06Hey, Penelope.
00:07:07Hello.
00:07:08Hi, how are you?
00:07:09Just really brilliant, thank you.
00:07:11Yeah, great.
00:07:12How are you?
00:07:13Great.
00:07:14Yeah.
00:07:14That's great.
00:07:15Oh, where's Bev?
00:07:16Oh, he, uh, he couldn't make it.
00:07:18He's, you know, he's working on Senator Bishop's campaign.
00:07:20So he's, uh, he's in New Orleans or Baton Rouge, somewhere in Louisiana.
00:07:24That's all I know.
00:07:25Do you guys ever see each other?
00:07:26You know, healthy relationships do not actually require proximity.
00:07:30Good sex does.
00:07:32I don't, I'm going to text Jill because I don't know where they are.
00:07:35How are you anyway, Logan?
00:07:36Yeah.
00:07:38Good.
00:07:38Yeah, yeah.
00:07:39You know, between tours.
00:07:40Between tours?
00:07:41That's so cool that you're still touring.
00:07:44I think I heard you shit on the oldies station the other day.
00:07:47Yacht Rock Radio.
00:07:49That's all shit.
00:07:51Oh, hello.
00:07:52Hi.
00:07:54You met.
00:07:55Oh, shit.
00:07:56Uh, Penelope.
00:07:57Here, I got this.
00:07:58I got this.
00:07:58Go ahead.
00:07:59Go ahead.
00:07:59Logan, Penelope.
00:08:00This is my beautiful wife, Penelope.
00:08:06Pleasure?
00:08:07Pleasure's all mine.
00:08:09We all went to college together.
00:08:10Yeah, all of us.
00:08:11And then you, Jack, and I roomed together freshman, sophomore year.
00:08:15Yeah, roomie.
00:08:16You went off to become a famous rock star, as you did.
00:08:18Yeah, look at me now.
00:08:19And you and Moe tasted each other for a while.
00:08:21Not necessary to the conversation at all.
00:08:24We didn't need that tidbit to tell the story.
00:08:27Can you guys get in there?
00:08:27Jack!
00:08:28Check it, Jack, Jack!
00:08:30Honey, honey.
00:08:31Oh, my God.
00:08:35Doctor?
00:08:36Doctor?
00:08:37Doctor?
00:08:38Doctor?
00:08:38Doctor?
00:08:39Doctor?
00:08:39Doctor?
00:08:40Doctor?
00:08:40Doctor?
00:08:41Oh!
00:08:41Oh!
00:08:42Good to see you, man.
00:08:44Good to see you, man.
00:08:45Good to see you.
00:08:46Oh, wow.
00:08:50Hey, Jackie.
00:08:51Folks.
00:08:57Thanks for coming, man.
00:08:58I missed you.
00:08:59I missed you, too.
00:09:00I missed both of you, huh?
00:09:02Yeah.
00:09:03Oh, my God.
00:09:04You look so good.
00:09:05Dad?
00:09:06Yeah.
00:09:07Oh, yeah, you're like trendy.
00:09:08You're like a celebrity.
00:09:09Hair.
00:09:10Yes, hair.
00:09:11Yeah, let me see the booty.
00:09:12OK.
00:09:13It's good, right?
00:09:14Oh, yeah.
00:09:15It's like a little basketball.
00:09:16Yeah, I like it.
00:09:17So many squats.
00:09:18It's great.
00:09:19I'm so happy to see you and bummed that Ben couldn't make it.
00:09:22I know.
00:09:23But, you know, it's to be expected.
00:09:33Hi.
00:09:34Everybody?
00:09:35Yes.
00:09:36Yes.
00:09:37Hello?
00:09:38Hi.
00:09:39Hello?
00:09:40Excuse me.
00:09:41Sorry.
00:09:42I just wanted to say a really quick thank you so much to all of you for coming to celebrate
00:09:48Jack and I's 40th birthdays.
00:09:51And I know that some of you even left your babies for the very first time.
00:09:57Oh, thank you.
00:09:58Um, so cheers to having a great night.
00:10:02Yeah!
00:10:03Woo-hoo!
00:10:04Woo-hoo!
00:10:05Woo-hoo!
00:10:08Jack?
00:10:09Do you want to say what you were going to say to everybody?
00:10:16You okay?
00:10:17Yeah.
00:10:18You're up, Jackie.
00:10:19It's funny with old friends.
00:10:22You could not see them for years and then suddenly you're in the same room and it's like no time's passed at all.
00:10:30I guess the opposite works too.
00:10:32You could be with someone forever and suddenly something happens and it feels like you don't even know him.
00:10:38Like how you suddenly dress like Rod Stewart.
00:10:41Ooh!
00:10:42I love Rod Stewart.
00:10:45So, anyway, I thought it might be a nice thing to go back before the times of Facebook and Instagram and have us all just be together.
00:10:55No distractions.
00:10:56Mm-hmm.
00:10:57Just like it used to be.
00:10:58Mm-hmm.
00:10:59So, Jill and I thought that before we get the party started, it might be a nice idea for everyone to surrender their phones for the night into this unplug box.
00:11:14Oh, okay.
00:11:15You can't be serious.
00:11:16I am.
00:11:17Fuck!
00:11:18No!
00:11:19I've actually heard of these parties before.
00:11:20Jackie, take it.
00:11:23So close.
00:11:24You're not taking my bloody phone.
00:11:26Yeah.
00:11:27I mean, I could get a work call.
00:11:28Yeah.
00:11:29No.
00:11:30This is my worst nightmare.
00:11:31Jillie, you agreed to this?
00:11:32I did because guess what?
00:11:33It's only for one night.
00:11:34Thanks.
00:11:35And that's only a couple of hours if you think about it.
00:11:37So, come on!
00:11:38Watch this.
00:11:39I'll show you how it's done.
00:11:40Here's the phone.
00:11:41This one's mine.
00:11:42I'm just gonna put it in the box.
00:11:43Just like that.
00:11:44Wow.
00:11:45Jill, show them how it's done.
00:11:46Um, one second.
00:11:47Guys, do you want to take a selfie?
00:11:48Can I?
00:11:49Just before we do it.
00:11:50Oh, yeah.
00:11:51Let's do it quickly.
00:11:52Just can we get in?
00:11:53Cheers.
00:11:54Good job.
00:11:55You can do it.
00:11:56You can do it.
00:11:57Is that your top secret government phone?
00:11:58Uh, no.
00:11:59That is my personal.
00:12:00I would never surrender my work phone.
00:12:01Plus, I don't have it.
00:12:02Oh!
00:12:03Shall we have your full attention?
00:12:04Sure.
00:12:05Just one night.
00:12:06Goes right in the box.
00:12:07No one's gonna look at it.
00:12:08I promise.
00:12:09Bye, Bradbury.
00:12:10Wait.
00:12:11So the...
00:12:12No one is having any access to their phone for the entire night?
00:12:16That's the idea, Penelope.
00:12:17That's fine, Penelope.
00:12:18That's fine, Penelope.
00:12:19Oh, okay.
00:12:20Great.
00:12:21What if Lana needs something?
00:12:22She'll be fine.
00:12:23And it's an emergency.
00:12:24She'll be fine.
00:12:25You'll be fine.
00:12:26It's just...
00:12:27Look, you promised me.
00:12:28Just put your phone in the box.
00:12:34Give it a try.
00:12:35I need to let Lana know, first of all.
00:12:41I'm just waiting to...
00:12:42She got the text.
00:12:47Okay.
00:12:50She got it.
00:12:51Great.
00:12:56Ah.
00:12:57Very good.
00:12:58And back over here.
00:13:00Oh, he's here.
00:13:01He's here.
00:13:02Uh, hold on.
00:13:03Hold on.
00:13:04Just gonna erase a few dick pics.
00:13:06Any time this year.
00:13:07One more dick, dick.
00:13:08Now you are just showing off.
00:13:09All right.
00:13:11All right.
00:13:12Okay, I might need to get this back later on,
00:13:13in case a client emails me or what.
00:13:15No work.
00:13:16Okay, you guys.
00:13:17It's not that easy.
00:13:18I have a fun job.
00:13:20All right.
00:13:21So I think, uh, that leaves just one more.
00:13:26Honey?
00:13:27Yes.
00:13:28Just one second.
00:13:29Everybody get in.
00:13:30Come on.
00:13:31Smile.
00:13:32Honey.
00:13:33Honey.
00:13:34Honey.
00:13:35Honey.
00:13:36Come on.
00:13:37One pic.
00:13:38Cheese.
00:13:39Yes.
00:13:40You got it.
00:13:41Okay, great.
00:13:42Wait, wait, wait.
00:13:43Into the box you go.
00:13:44Wait.
00:13:45One more.
00:13:46One more.
00:13:47Last one.
00:13:48Oh, yeah.
00:13:49Boo.
00:13:50Okay.
00:13:51Perfect.
00:13:52Got your content.
00:13:53Yes.
00:13:54One second.
00:13:55Let me just post.
00:13:56Chill.
00:13:57Love.
00:13:58Love.
00:13:59Out.
00:14:00And kiss it.
00:14:03I love you.
00:14:04I miss you too much.
00:14:05Okay.
00:14:06All right.
00:14:07So I'm going to put this one inside and, uh, let's get this party started.
00:14:13Yeah.
00:14:14Right?
00:14:15We did it.
00:14:17Come on.
00:14:18Yeah.
00:14:19Okay.
00:14:20I hope you guys are hungry.
00:14:21Yay.
00:14:22No fouls.
00:14:23No fouls.
00:14:24I know.
00:14:25Okay.
00:14:26One night.
00:14:27One night.
00:14:28One night.
00:14:29Everybody, as you may have noticed in our birthday invite, the mention of a special culinary adventure
00:14:46for this evening that I happen to plan all by myself.
00:14:49So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to my new best friend, Chef Sasha,
00:14:56who will be running through the menu for this evening.
00:15:00Chef, please take it away.
00:15:05Oh.
00:15:06Hello, beautiful people.
00:15:09And welcome to what I'm sure is going to be a memorable evening.
00:15:13As Jack mentioned, I am a chef who has won multiple awards in cannabis-infused fine dining.
00:15:20We're getting high.
00:15:21This party just got good.
00:15:22I am definitely going to get paranoid.
00:15:25Tonight isn't just about getting you super high.
00:15:27Anyone can do that.
00:15:28Tonight is about the food.
00:15:30I am a food-centric chef with accents of cannabis.
00:15:34It's all portion-controlled magic for a four-course journey.
00:15:37The end of which, hopefully, you will be super high.
00:15:40Wow.
00:15:41Yes.
00:15:42All right.
00:15:43Well, let's kick it off with an amuse-bouche.
00:15:45Jack is holding...
00:15:46Please, what is this?
00:15:47A game show.
00:15:48Tempura cannabis leaves with one milligram of THC per serving from the sativa dominant
00:15:54strain squirt juice.
00:15:55I did that this morning.
00:15:56Wow.
00:15:57This should leave you feeling relaxed, focused, and euphoric.
00:16:00And who couldn't use a little more euphoria?
00:16:02Am I right?
00:16:03I know I could.
00:16:04Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go set some intentions and cook the fuck out
00:16:09of some weed.
00:16:10Yes.
00:16:11All right.
00:16:12Thank you, Sasha.
00:16:13It's Chef Sasha.
00:16:14Oh, right.
00:16:15Sorry.
00:16:16Mm.
00:16:17Mm-hmm.
00:16:18Mm-hmm.
00:16:19Oh.
00:16:20All right.
00:16:21Yeah.
00:16:24Pass those out before they get cold.
00:16:26All right.
00:16:27Let's dig in.
00:16:28Oh, I get tested for work.
00:16:30Oh, it leaves your system in 36 hours, so I've been told.
00:16:33Oh, thank you, Jill and Jack.
00:16:36I haven't eaten a pot since high school.
00:16:38You lie.
00:16:39That's true.
00:16:40That's the basis of our friendship.
00:16:41That's true.
00:16:42How much of this should I eat?
00:16:43How much do you want?
00:16:46You're eating all of it.
00:16:47Mm.
00:16:48Well, well, well.
00:16:50Surprise, surprise.
00:16:52Surprise, surprise.
00:16:54Jack, Jack, you son of a bitch.
00:16:59Bad you wanted it?
00:17:00Oh, thanks.
00:17:01I don't have to pump and dump.
00:17:03Why are you going to do that anyway if you drank?
00:17:05I'm not drinking.
00:17:06Cheers.
00:17:07Cheers, my darling.
00:17:09Happy birthday.
00:17:11Happy birthday.
00:17:13I'm sorry.
00:17:14I don't know what was going on.
00:17:17I'm not going to go.
00:17:20No.
00:17:21Fine.
00:17:22That's very important.
00:17:23I know, but witnesses, that's...
00:17:24Okay.
00:17:25How's that?
00:17:30No.
00:17:31Fine.
00:17:44To the plus ones.
00:17:46The plus ones.
00:17:49And long may we continue to be, frankly,
00:17:52the best part of the...
00:17:54I've been awful for our bodies.
00:17:56I have missed you.
00:17:58I've missed you!
00:18:01I'm very glad you're doing better.
00:18:04Thank you, me too.
00:18:06It's been a...
00:18:07It's been a long road.
00:18:10So how's teaching?
00:18:11Oh, I didn't tell you, I quit.
00:18:13That's huge.
00:18:15I've never been happier.
00:18:17No, really, it's like I'm finally living my life
00:18:20the way I was always supposed to.
00:18:23I hope you've slowed down a bit.
00:18:24You're not doing those terrible 80-hour weeks still.
00:18:28Oh, no, I'm definitely doing those terrible 80-hour weeks,
00:18:30but you know me, I love it!
00:18:32What about you? Are you...
00:18:34Are you back at work?
00:18:35I'm just doing a little bit of consulting
00:18:37for some old UK clients.
00:18:38It's funny.
00:18:39My job was such a massive part of who I am,
00:18:43and now I just...
00:18:45I don't know.
00:18:46I'm so tied to the little sausage.
00:18:48I...
00:18:49I can't bear leaving him.
00:18:52Other people's kids, they suck.
00:18:53They suck.
00:18:54Kids are the worst.
00:18:55They're little shits, you know?
00:18:56Oh, little shits.
00:18:57They're grubby little hands...
00:18:58Throw them in the garbage.
00:18:59...and they're grubby little minds.
00:19:00Yeah.
00:19:01I never thought this podcast was gonna take off.
00:19:03I was just doing it for fun,
00:19:05but now people are actually stopping me on the street
00:19:08and asking me for advice.
00:19:09Yes!
00:19:10It's like I'm actually connecting with people,
00:19:13and they're listening to what I'm saying.
00:19:17Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?
00:19:18Don't, Damien, stop!
00:19:20You at least look like you've got your shit together.
00:19:22Don't we all?
00:19:23Ow!
00:19:24Oh!
00:19:25Need of the...
00:19:26No, you didn't!
00:19:27No.
00:19:28Yeah, no.
00:19:35That episode all about your balls, Jack's sack,
00:19:38that shit is hilarious!
00:19:40I shared it with the entire neurological department.
00:19:43Well, yeah.
00:19:44Big hospital?
00:19:45Yeah.
00:19:46Huge.
00:19:47Yeah.
00:19:48Glad they enjoyed it.
00:19:49She must be making so much money by now, right?
00:19:51You can quit that teaching job of yours.
00:19:54I don't really want to quit.
00:19:56I love teaching.
00:19:57I'm just saying.
00:19:58You could stay at home with a baby, get a gym, get super ripped, and be like a DILF.
00:20:04Ooh.
00:20:05What's your poison these days?
00:20:09Um, tequila works.
00:20:11Really?
00:20:12Yeah.
00:20:13I vaguely remember someone throwing it off after a gig in Lawrence.
00:20:17Yeah, well, that's because those country-ass margaritas gave me acid reflux and then I couldn't sing.
00:20:23I don't have to worry about that anymore, so.
00:20:26I'm glad it all worked out for you both.
00:20:30Yeah.
00:20:31I'm thriving.
00:20:32That little bundle of joy has hijacked my wife's libido, but tonight I'm taking that back Liam Neeson's style because tonight there's no baby around to fuck things up.
00:20:45I think you might be good with the chalk.
00:20:51Total friends.
00:20:52Is that what we are?
00:20:55I hope so.
00:20:57It's a friendship.
00:20:58Uh-huh.
00:20:59We're turning the corner, turning the page, and every single second with you feels like a party to me.
00:21:09Get in, honey!
00:21:10Get in, babe!
00:21:11Get in!
00:21:12Oh!
00:21:13Get in!
00:21:14There's no fun!
00:21:15There's no fun!
00:21:20Ready?
00:21:21No no.
00:21:22They're down.
00:21:24Right!
00:21:27We get a snack.
00:21:30Um, so, that left a...
00:21:34Thank God!
00:21:35He's dead.
00:21:36It's like I don't left the switch gonna run out!
00:21:39I'm gonna put something...
00:21:40Oh!
00:21:41Oh, nobody puts Jack in the corner.
00:21:51Dinner is served.
00:22:03How's everyone feeling so far?
00:22:05I mean, great.
00:22:06You know, I'm not feeling anything.
00:22:08I'm fine.
00:22:08Really?
00:22:09I'm fine.
00:22:10Good.
00:22:11We're working on a gradual high here
00:22:12to ensure that everyone has an enjoyable ride.
00:22:15I'd like to provide you an enjoyable ride.
00:22:18You'll see two dishes in front of you.
00:22:19First, our Sofrito Tartelette with Tonato.
00:22:22That's coming in at 5 milligrams of THC.
00:22:25And on the larger plate,
00:22:27you'll see our poached halibut with leek vinaigrette.
00:22:29That is coming in at 20 milligrams of THC.
00:22:33Both use the sativa-dominant strain called Thug Pussy
00:22:36to keep you feeling energized and aroused.
00:22:39Oh, and to my vegan brother, blessings.
00:22:43In front of you, you'll see the vegan risotto
00:22:45with forest mushrooms and black truffle oil.
00:22:48Also, 20 milligrams of THC.
00:22:51And we'll get you feeling aroused.
00:22:52Thank you so much.
00:22:54This looks so awesome.
00:22:56Thanks, Chef Sasha.
00:22:58Chef Sasha.
00:23:00Wait, I got it.
00:23:01One more.
00:23:02I got it.
00:23:03Thank you, Chef Sasha.
00:23:05I did it!
00:23:06It happens.
00:23:07You're not having a stroke.
00:23:09But definitely don't think about having a stroke.
00:23:11Oh, God.
00:23:11You taste pennies?
00:23:13Enjoy.
00:23:15Enjoy.
00:23:16Yes.
00:23:17Enjoy.
00:23:18Okay, this looks delicious.
00:23:21It does.
00:23:22I wish I could take a picture and post it.
00:23:25Take one with your mind.
00:23:28Did she say 20 milligrams?
00:23:30Because that sounds like a lot.
00:23:31It is a lot.
00:23:33I think it's a totally normal amount, right?
00:23:37Can we eat or...?
00:23:38Yes, yes, of course.
00:23:39Bon appetit!
00:23:40Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:23:41Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:24:11Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:24:41Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:24:43Hello, hello, sorry, hi.
00:24:45Hi.
00:24:46Hi.
00:24:47I just wanted to say to our amazing couple, Jack and Jill, thank you for being such a beautiful
00:24:55example of love and living life to the fullest.
00:24:58Well done, you too.
00:24:59All right, well done.
00:25:01That's so sweet, Mo.
00:25:02You guys have always been so solid, like since college.
00:25:05It just feels like you figured it out early.
00:25:08I mean, Jack definitely figured it out early.
00:25:10Remember, he had that whole spreadsheet of why Jill should date him like scientifically.
00:25:14I'll help you with that.
00:25:15I thought that was sexy.
00:25:16It was sexy.
00:25:17I knew what I wanted.
00:25:18I loved it.
00:25:19Deeply unsexy.
00:25:21You know, it obviously worked because now you're this beautiful, perfect couple who always,
00:25:26you know, puts the other person first.
00:25:29Your love and support is truly inspiring.
00:25:37We love you and, you know, we want your continued success in all things, in teaching, in your incredibly
00:25:45timely podcast, your journey to parenthood, Jack's pants and shirt combo.
00:25:52I mean.
00:25:53We just want whatever it's trying to say.
00:25:55I hope it gets to speak its truth.
00:25:57It speaks to me.
00:25:59Anyway, we love it.
00:26:00We love all of it and all of you.
00:26:02So happy birthday.
00:26:03And I am done.
00:26:05Cheers.
00:26:06I love you.
00:26:07I love you all so, so much.
00:26:17I'm sorry.
00:26:18And I just want to thank each and every one of you for being here celebrating our 40th birthday.
00:26:24It means the world to me.
00:26:26I love you all.
00:26:27You're so welcome.
00:26:29How much higher are we going to get?
00:26:32Not high enough, buddy.
00:26:34My fingers are tingling.
00:26:36Oh.
00:26:39I'm sorry, Jill.
00:26:40Why don't you find the bathroom?
00:26:42One more time?
00:26:43The bathroom.
00:26:44The bathroom.
00:26:45Oh, oh.
00:26:46I know.
00:26:47It's upstairs.
00:26:48It's upstairs.
00:26:49But there is one downstairs.
00:26:50But there's a powder room.
00:26:51Does she need to shower?
00:26:52But there is one downstairs.
00:26:53Do you need to take a shower?
00:26:54So you have to go upstairs.
00:26:55You have to go upstairs if you have to shower.
00:26:56But if it's just the powder room.
00:26:57But if it's the powder room, it's to the left.
00:26:58She's pooping.
00:26:59I'll find it.
00:27:01I'm gonna have.
00:27:03I'm gonna have.
00:27:04I'm gonna come with you.
00:27:05To the loop?
00:27:06Yeah.
00:27:07Why?
00:27:08I'm so good.
00:27:09With what?
00:27:10Nothing.
00:27:11Oh, there's this designer.
00:27:12Oh my God!
00:27:23Hello!
00:27:24Hi guys, hi guys, hi guys.
00:27:54How's that?
00:28:25Lana?
00:28:26Lana! Oh, hi! Hi! Can you hear me?
00:28:29Hi! How's Rocco? Is he okay?
00:28:33He didn't.
00:28:35He drank it all. That's fantastic.
00:28:37Oh, well done.
00:28:45Lana, will you remember to keep checking the monitor
00:28:47just in case he gets unswaddled while he's sleeping?
00:28:50The swaddle?
00:28:52Swaddle?
00:28:53Yeah, it just, it happened to me the other night.
00:29:00Oh, my God.
00:29:02I know it's so not cool to do with the birthday party. I'm so sorry.
00:29:07I have to, okay?
00:29:09We'll be back first thing.
00:29:11At 7, maybe 6. Let's say 6. We'll be back by 6.
00:29:15Yeah.
00:29:16Okay, have a great night, Lana. Thank you. I will.
00:29:19Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, love you.
00:29:21Well, I do.
00:29:24Okay, thank you, Lana. Thank you. Bye.
00:29:27Bye.
00:29:28Yeah, bye.
00:29:29Bye.
00:29:30Bye.
00:29:32Bye.
00:29:33Bye.
00:29:35Bye.
00:29:37Bye.
00:29:38Bye.
00:29:39Bye.
00:29:40Bye.
00:29:42I am madly in love with you.
00:29:44Bye.
00:29:45I'm so... I've been in love with you for 10 years.
00:29:47Fucking ring in my pocket
00:30:17I've been like, like trying to find the courage to just ask you to spend your life with me
00:30:26And just make me the happiest human
00:30:29There's a missile, there's a missile
00:30:32It's coming to California and we need to find shelter
00:30:36Okay, Penelope's cut
00:30:38We've all got the same text
00:30:39Ballistic missile threat, seek immediate shelter
00:30:44That's probably just a drill
00:30:46This is not a drill, that is the last line
00:30:48Hold on, hold on, hold on
00:30:50Wait, you got your phone?
00:30:52Yeah, I was checking on Rocco and I got text
00:30:54How did you find the box?
00:30:56How did you find the box? I hid it
00:30:58It wasn't that hard, why aren't you freaking the fuck out?
00:31:01We all got the same text
00:31:03Fuck, fuck
00:31:05What is it, Liz?
00:31:08Oh my god, I'm freaking the fuck out
00:31:09Holy shit
00:31:11Yeah, did you? Oh my god, what do we do?
00:31:13Okay, let me call a friend
00:31:14Try your phone
00:31:15Okay
00:31:15Thank you for your honor
00:31:16Not since I got this
00:31:17I'll text you
00:31:18How much time do we have?
00:31:21Does anyone know?
00:31:22Shouldn't we be going somewhere with less windows?
00:31:24Is anybody getting through?
00:31:25No!
00:31:26I did not survive cancer to go down like this
00:31:29Look, I think he's just getting a busy signal
00:31:30Me too!
00:31:31The lines must be jammed
00:31:32Okay, I just got a text from Ben
00:31:33This could be happening any minute
00:31:35So we need to seek immediate shelter
00:31:36What shelter should we be seeking?
00:31:38There's a basement!
00:31:38Great, let's all go to the basement
00:31:39Okay
00:31:40Should I know where that is?
00:31:44No, I know!
00:31:45Lead the way!
00:31:46I can do that!
00:31:46Down here!
00:31:48I don't know!
00:31:50I can't go any faster!
00:31:59I can't go any faster!
00:32:00I'm going to be shot
00:32:01Ow!
00:32:02Ow!
00:32:04Ah!
00:32:04Shit, you okay, buddy?
00:32:06It's my ankle!
00:32:07My ankle!
00:32:07What happened?
00:32:08Come here!
00:32:11What happened?
00:32:14You got it!
00:32:14In these fucking pants!
00:32:15Are you okay?
00:32:17Go, go, go!
00:32:18Go ahead!
00:32:18Go ahead!
00:32:19Go ahead!
00:32:20Go ahead!
00:32:20Go ahead!
00:32:21Come on!
00:32:22Go ahead!
00:32:27Go ahead!
00:32:28Go ahead!
00:32:28Go ahead!
00:32:30Go ahead!
00:32:30Go ahead!
00:32:30Go ahead!
00:32:30Stop it!
00:32:32Stop it!
00:32:34Stop it!
00:32:36Take him!
00:32:38Take him out!
00:32:40Take him out!
00:32:42Take him out!
00:32:44Quick!
00:32:46Get out!
00:32:48Hurry!
00:32:50Get out!
00:32:52Are we all here?
00:32:54Yes!
00:32:56Hey!
00:32:58Come on, come on, come on.
00:33:00Look, I don't think we need to be in the glass-filled room.
00:33:03Let's just go to the room.
00:33:03Okay.
00:33:05Guys, over here!
00:33:06I was just about to come get you, Pat.
00:33:09Mo! Mo! Mo, Mo!
00:33:11Do you think you can get a hold of any of your government contacts
00:33:14to get some more information?
00:33:15Who sent the bomb?
00:33:16How many bombs are there?
00:33:17Does the U.S. have all of our lines of defense?
00:33:18Yeah, so I'm trying to reach my friend who works in the Pentagon,
00:33:21but shit.
00:33:21What?
00:33:22There's no service down here.
00:33:23What?
00:33:24No, I'm not getting anything, anything.
00:33:27Well, the fucking fuck business, Wi-Fi!
00:33:29Well, circuits can get jammed with everyone trying to communicate at once.
00:33:31What the fuck is happening?
00:33:33This is a fucking apocalypse!
00:33:34Should we go upstairs?
00:33:35No, absolutely not.
00:33:37We are much safer in the basement.
00:33:38And I mean, depending on the size and location of the missile, it...
00:33:40Who would bomb us?
00:33:42Really?
00:33:43Oh, my God, I know so many people who would bomb us.
00:33:45Oh, my God!
00:33:46The thing is, we don't know who launched it.
00:33:48It could be China, Russia, fucking North Korea,
00:33:50and we don't know what they launched.
00:33:52It might be a hypersonic missile,
00:33:53which can travel at 20 times the speed of sound,
00:33:55or a supersonic missile,
00:33:56which can usually evade all of our types of defense missile systems
00:34:00and different types of radar.
00:34:01The point is, there's a lot of different types of fucking missiles.
00:34:03So we may not even be able to detect the bomb.
00:34:06Missile!
00:34:06It's a missile!
00:34:07I said missile like 40 times, yes.
00:34:08And what we really need to worry about is after.
00:34:11There could be nuclear fallout,
00:34:12which is why I think we need to stay indoors for at least 24 hours.
00:34:1624 hours!
00:34:18At least!
00:34:19Can you all sit the fuck down, please?
00:34:21I'm sorry.
00:34:22It's just a lie.
00:34:23Probably 48 when the, if the missile strikes.
00:34:28And what is the probability of that?
00:34:30I don't know.
00:34:30Oh, God, we're going to have to wear those masks again!
00:34:32Can't we even live!
00:34:34Why don't we all just try to stay positive, right?
00:34:36You know, because thinking about the worst bubble down here,
00:34:39that's not going to do anything, right?
00:34:40Uh, it's a fucking bomb, Jill!
00:34:43I fucking know, Sam!
00:34:45Just try to stay positive about the motherfucking bomb, Sam!
00:34:47Missile.
00:34:48Mo, mo, mo, mo.
00:34:49Yeah, yeah.
00:34:49Listen, what's the likelihood that we'll be able to stop whatever missile's coming towards us?
00:34:54Um...
00:34:54That's what you analyzed, right?
00:34:55Well, sort of.
00:34:56I analyze foreign weapons development, really,
00:34:58but the likelihood depends on a lot of different variables and factors.
00:35:02Okay, okay.
00:35:03Rough estimate.
00:35:04Factoring in the factors and the variables.
00:35:06In your professional opinion,
00:35:07is this the beginning of World War III?
00:35:09Yeah.
00:35:09Or are we going to be able to stop the invisible missile that's headed straight for us?
00:35:12And it all is going to be like a misunderstanding.
00:35:14So it's a little tough to gauge?
00:35:16Okay, okay.
00:35:17So you're saying it's pretty bad.
00:35:18Just leave her alone, Jack!
00:35:19Jack, our U.S. defense systems have the potential to protect its citizens against a nuclear attack.
00:35:24Has the potential?
00:35:25Ah, yeah.
00:35:26Do they, though?
00:35:27Yes.
00:35:27Theoretically, I mean, in theory, everything's a theory.
00:35:30What about hypersonics?
00:35:31We don't spend enough on defense.
00:35:33We don't invest in military advancements.
00:35:35What the fuck are you talking about?
00:35:36All we do is spend money on defense.
00:35:37We need to spend more money on education.
00:35:39It has nothing to do with right now, Jack!
00:35:41Everything is connected!
00:35:43It's gone!
00:35:43Oh, God, I can't breathe.
00:35:44I can't breathe.
00:35:47Honey, I can't breathe.
00:35:48Baby?
00:35:49What's going on?
00:35:50I don't know.
00:35:50I don't know.
00:35:51Oh, my God, I don't know.
00:35:52Oh, my God, I'm really dizzy.
00:35:54Oh, my God, I can't breathe.
00:35:55And my chest is hurting.
00:35:56Hey, hey, hey!
00:35:58You're something on your head!
00:35:59Get out!
00:36:00I am!
00:36:01She is!
00:36:02Okay, what's wrong?
00:36:03What's wrong?
00:36:03What's wrong?
00:36:03Does it feel like you're under water?
00:36:05Hell yeah.
00:36:06Is there any pain radiating from your left jaw,
00:36:08left shoulder, left arm?
00:36:10Left?
00:36:10Yes.
00:36:11Is that my left?
00:36:11No, no, that feels fine.
00:36:13Okay, okay, okay, nothing on your left side.
00:36:15Nothing on my left side.
00:36:16Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:36:17So, you're willing to take some deep breaths with me, okay?
00:36:19Okay.
00:36:19Deep breath in.
00:36:21Deep breath in.
00:36:23Deep breath in.
00:36:27Okay.
00:36:28Feeling better?
00:36:29Yeah, a little.
00:36:30Okay.
00:36:31Oh, look, me too.
00:36:32Okay, it's okay.
00:36:32She's having a panic attack, okay?
00:36:35Oh, I have those all the time.
00:36:36She's fine.
00:36:37I'm fine.
00:36:38Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:36:39You're fine.
00:36:40You're going to be okay, Steve.
00:36:42Look, Jack, do me a favor.
00:36:43Put your hand on her chest, okay?
00:36:45Put your hand on her chest.
00:36:46Yes, that hand.
00:36:47Put that hand on my chest.
00:36:48Yes?
00:36:49Do you help calm her down?
00:36:50Yeah.
00:36:51Give your body some time to adjust.
00:36:52You'll be fine.
00:36:54You're welcome.
00:36:55Jack, sleep.
00:36:56Breathe.
00:36:57Where would I go?
00:36:59Don't leave.
00:36:59I think that we need to just stay positive down here in the bomb shelter.
00:37:04I need some fucking Wi-Fi so I can make sure my baby's okay.
00:37:07Ben, there's no Wi-Fi anywhere down here, all right?
00:37:09Ben, stay put.
00:37:10I texted Lana before we came down here to stay in the basement.
00:37:13Yes, I know.
00:37:14Sam, I just really think we need to be with Walgo right now.
00:37:17We're at least three hours away, and there's a bomb.
00:37:21I never should have left 20 years ago.
00:37:44What?
00:37:45I should have stayed with you.
00:37:48Built a life with you.
00:37:49Logan.
00:37:53It just...
00:37:54It just sucks that I'm now realizing this.
00:37:59I shouldn't have pissed about so much.
00:38:03I wasted so much time.
00:38:06I should have so freckless to my career.
00:38:09I let all this time just slip by.
00:38:12If I got my shit together sooner...
00:38:15I would have met Ben sooner.
00:38:18I could have had at least three more kids.
00:38:26Jesus Christ, shut up.
00:38:28I always wanted a big family.
00:38:31I always envisioned myself surrounded by a gaggle of kids.
00:38:37I would have taken just one if Jill would have been on board.
00:38:41What?
00:38:43What are you talking about?
00:38:47I found your birth control pills.
00:38:52Can we please not do this in front of all of our friends?
00:38:55Oh, yeah.
00:38:56We should wait till after.
00:38:58We're incinerated by a nuclear explosion.
00:39:00Jack, please.
00:39:01See, I've been trying to figure out...
00:39:03Why would you do...
00:39:04So why would you do that?
00:39:05I don't know.
00:39:05I was gonna tell you.
00:39:06Oh, yeah?
00:39:07You were gonna tell me?
00:39:08Yeah.
00:39:09So what?
00:39:09Now you don't want to have a kid?
00:39:10Is that what's happening?
00:39:12I don't know.
00:39:13What the fuck?
00:39:15Why wouldn't you tell me?
00:39:16Huh?
00:39:17Why wouldn't you tell me that?
00:39:19I don't know.
00:39:20I...
00:39:20Well, at least I didn't have to find out on the podcast.
00:39:24Okay, that's not fair, Jack.
00:39:27Oh, it's not fair?
00:39:28No?
00:39:28Hmm.
00:39:29So you air out all of our shit in front of all of your millions of followers who are basically
00:39:33strangers, yet you don't tell me the person that you live with.
00:39:37You lie to me.
00:39:39That's not fair.
00:39:40Do you want to know what else isn't fair, Jack?
00:39:42When your husband puts expectations on you?
00:39:46And doesn't listen to you?
00:39:47And makes a huge decision for the both of us, and doesn't see what I really wanted.
00:39:56That is what's not fair, Jack.
00:39:58I did not see what you wanted.
00:39:59I-I-I'm sorry that I did not trust the words that were coming out of your mouth.
00:40:04I didn't realize that when you said that you wanted to have a baby with me, what you really
00:40:08meant was that you wanted to talk about having a baby on your stupid fucking podcast.
00:40:12That is so fucked up, you asshole.
00:40:15That stupid fucking podcast is what's paid for tonight.
00:40:22And pays your cell phone bills.
00:40:24First of all, it is a family plan, okay?
00:40:26It just makes sense.
00:40:27Second of all, tonight, you want to just take a-just-just take it all back?
00:40:30You can start with these fucking leather pants.
00:40:32Here, I don't want these fucking leather-ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:40:34You know what, Jack? Maybe if you actually listened to my podcast, you would see why it's so successful.
00:40:40I mean, why do you even want a kid?
00:40:43Are you going to pick him up from soccer practice high out of your fucking mind?
00:40:47Mo and I hooked up with the Dilltopia party in 2001!
00:40:50What?
00:40:51What?
00:40:51Sam?
00:40:52What?
00:40:53What do you mean, hooked up?
00:40:56We got together.
00:40:58Okay, so in my defense, I was very drunk. He could have been anybody.
00:41:03Dad's fucked.
00:41:04So you had sex with Mo and you didn't tell me?
00:41:08Oh my God.
00:41:10You dodgy fucker.
00:41:13Well, I was going to mention this because, well, I didn't think you could handle it, but fuck it.
00:41:19I had sex with him.
00:41:23What?
00:41:24Oh my God!
00:41:26Oh, me?
00:41:27Hi.
00:41:29Yeah.
00:41:30It was in, um, in London.
00:41:32Um, the, you were playing with the jinx at the half moon in, like, 2010.
00:41:412010.
00:41:44Oh, yeah.
00:41:47Yeah.
00:41:47Oh, hey, how are you doing?
00:41:50I didn't recognize you with the...
00:41:52I know.
00:41:53Yeah, I was, um, well, I'm thinner now.
00:41:55Yeah.
00:41:56What a small world.
00:41:58How you been?
00:41:59I've been good.
00:42:00Yeah, I've been really good.
00:42:01Well, I didn't recognize you.
00:42:02I was going, I know him.
00:42:03Yeah.
00:42:03Um, that, you changed your hair.
00:42:06Uh, yeah.
00:42:07I had a, um, a blonde mohawk.
00:42:09Yes, you did.
00:42:10I remember very well.
00:42:11And it would not budge even after...
00:42:14Yeah, it was crazy.
00:42:16It was really, really...
00:42:18It was really crazy.
00:42:19How could you fuck him?
00:42:23I knew you couldn't handle it.
00:42:24That's disgusting.
00:42:26Hey.
00:42:26What didn't you tell me?
00:42:28Well, I didn't tell you, Sam.
00:42:30Because I didn't know you knew him.
00:42:31I have been on holiday with Mo.
00:42:33You should have told me.
00:42:35Oh, shut up!
00:42:37Who cares?
00:42:39Straight people!
00:42:40Oh, my God, you're so fucking dysfunctional!
00:42:43It's like bad reality TV.
00:42:45We make good reality TV.
00:42:47We make drag race and bake-offs,
00:42:49and you make MILF MANOR!
00:42:51I'm sorry.
00:42:53I'm sorry.
00:42:54Okay.
00:42:54I'm sorry.
00:42:54We should just keep this light and breezy.
00:42:58Yeah, that's a good call.
00:42:59That's a good call.
00:43:00Okay.
00:43:01Let's go around the room and just say, then,
00:43:04what we're grateful for.
00:43:06That's a good idea.
00:43:08Good idea.
00:43:08Do that.
00:43:09Why don't you start, Ish?
00:43:10What?
00:43:11Why don't you start?
00:43:14Um, I'm grateful for...
00:43:24Wow, what was I saying?
00:43:27What you're grateful for.
00:43:27Oh, my God.
00:43:29Oh, my God.
00:43:30I'm so high.
00:43:30I, um...
00:43:31I, um...
00:43:33I'm grateful for...
00:43:34my family.
00:43:37For the strength that I didn't know I had.
00:43:44That I found with the help of the love of my life, Damien.
00:43:52You're my everything.
00:43:54You make me a better person.
00:43:57You make me laugh every single day.
00:44:00That's very sweet.
00:44:01It's true.
00:44:04I'm grateful for...
00:44:06my brother and my mother and...
00:44:09and my chosen family.
00:44:11My...
00:44:12Brussels Griffon Sebastian.
00:44:16Oh, my God.
00:44:17Oh, my God.
00:44:19Fucking much.
00:44:21It was a fucking dog.
00:44:23It was my dog.
00:44:26And you're fucking...
00:44:27You and you.
00:44:28You're my soulmate.
00:44:30I love you so much.
00:44:31You're my best friend.
00:44:36I almost got to marry you.
00:44:39Almost.
00:44:41Maybe if we don't get blown up.
00:44:46Wow.
00:44:49Okay.
00:44:51You're up, Jack.
00:44:53What am I thankful for?
00:44:54I'm thankful for how things used to be.
00:45:02I had to spend half of my life for the person who I thought I knew more than anyone else in the world.
00:45:09I miss that.
00:45:10I'm thankful for that life too, Jack.
00:45:19And I feel really lucky that I got to live such a wonderful life with you.
00:45:25That was really touching.
00:45:26Okay, who's next?
00:45:29I am grateful for my son.
00:45:35I'll never forgive myself for abandoning him.
00:45:38I look at our son, and I can't believe we created that life together.
00:45:44We did that.
00:45:48He's perfect.
00:45:49He's...
00:45:49That's an unbiased fact.
00:45:53His little hands, his little toes.
00:45:55He's...
00:45:56All perfect.
00:46:00You're an incredible mother.
00:46:06Okay, I can go.
00:46:07Um, I am grateful for my family, my friends, and the work that I do.
00:46:17It's truly meant so much to me to know that I'm making a difference.
00:46:22And I'm really grateful for all of the moments I've had with every one of you.
00:46:30Truly grateful.
00:46:32I'm grateful that my band kicked me out.
00:46:35Wait, what?
00:46:36Yeah.
00:46:36Had been a few weeks ago, but, um...
00:46:39It's been brewing for a long time.
00:46:41What happened?
00:46:43Creative differences.
00:46:45I was writing new material, and...
00:46:48I didn't want to keep playing the same old shit.
00:46:52I'm so sorry.
00:46:57It's cool.
00:47:00Really, it's cool.
00:47:01I mean...
00:47:03At first I freaked out, because I thought,
00:47:05is this my only identity, and...
00:47:08But then it-it granted my freedom.
00:47:12This exercise really worked.
00:47:14Yeah.
00:47:15Yeah.
00:47:16I feel like I'm awake after 20 fucking years, you know?
00:47:21I have all this music in my head.
00:47:25Sing something.
00:47:26I drove all night
00:47:31Trying to hold what ain't right
00:47:36I know the answer, should I call you?
00:47:41It's all yours.
00:48:03I still love that song.
00:48:07I wrote a good one.
00:48:08Are we leaving?
00:48:27No.
00:48:28Where were we going?
00:48:30Shh, shh, shh.
00:48:32Oh, Bingo.
00:48:33Hey, Ben, Ben, Ben.
00:48:39Yes?
00:48:40They have the same vase as us.
00:48:41What?
00:48:41They have the same vase as us.
00:48:43Look.
00:48:46Is that why you brought me in here?
00:48:48No, no.
00:48:49Okay.
00:48:49No, I brought you in here.
00:48:50Yeah.
00:48:51To get you alone.
00:48:52To tell you just how beautiful you are.
00:48:57Sam, I don't feel very beautiful.
00:48:59Well, you are.
00:49:00You're stunning.
00:49:00Oh, sorry.
00:49:03Sorry.
00:49:04Sorry.
00:49:05Wait, wait, wait.
00:49:07Sam, what are you doing?
00:49:08Fuck, I thought I'd just seize the moment.
00:49:12I'm scared to have a baby.
00:49:16I mean, I'm scared of my whole life
00:49:18just stopping and becoming all about the baby,
00:49:22and I am not ready for that to happen right now.
00:49:25I'm scared, too.
00:49:27You are?
00:49:28Yeah, everyone's scared.
00:49:31I mean, I don't even know if I would be a good mom.
00:49:35Right now, I love spending my time at work
00:49:38and on the podcast,
00:49:41and I'm really, really good at it.
00:49:45And it makes me really happy.
00:49:46I don't want to resent you for having to give that up,
00:49:54because then I really wouldn't be a good mom.
00:50:00I'd be a great mom.
00:50:09But I think that somebody who wants to be a mom
00:50:16should really, really want that.
00:50:21I haven't slept,
00:50:23and everything is still fucking sore.
00:50:26I don't feel like myself.
00:50:28I feel fucking gross.
00:50:31Okay?
00:50:31Okay?
00:50:31I'm not in my body.
00:50:37It's like it still belongs to Rocco.
00:50:39I just wish I was with him.
00:50:41That's all I can think about.
00:50:43Me too.
00:50:44100%.
00:50:45It's just given the circumstances,
00:50:48I thought we'd finally be able to have a little sexy sex.
00:50:51What kind of person wants to have sex at a time like this?
00:50:54Doesn't it bother you how long it's been?
00:51:06Honestly, Sam, I am so tired.
00:51:10I don't think about it.
00:51:12Well, you don't think about it.
00:51:13Well, that's a fucking problem, Pen.
00:51:16I guess it is a problem, Sam.
00:51:18What do you think?
00:51:19Yeah.
00:51:20Hypothetically, have we survived this?
00:51:22Will you ever be ready?
00:51:28I don't know.
00:51:32Is it me?
00:51:36I think everything happens so fast with us.
00:51:39We're going out, then pregnant, married,
00:51:42then a year and a half.
00:51:44I thought you wanted to get married.
00:51:46You wanted to get married.
00:51:48You were pregnant.
00:51:51Yeah.
00:51:52And is that the only reason we did it?
00:51:56No, it's not the only reason we did it.
00:51:59We did it because we love each other.
00:52:06Do you love me?
00:52:09Oh, you...
00:52:10You are the father of my son.
00:52:17Of course.
00:52:20I have love for you.
00:52:22You have love for me.
00:52:24Who says that?
00:52:27I love you.
00:52:32You don't love me?
00:52:33I just said I have love for you.
00:52:34I don't know what you want me to say, Sam.
00:52:35I don't want to hurt you.
00:52:38Sam, I'm sorry.
00:52:41Sorry.
00:52:46I'm sorry.
00:52:47But just one thing.
00:52:49Do you have any idea how many women I could have fucked?
00:52:54Excuse me?
00:52:58Doesn't.
00:52:59Maybe even in the 30s.
00:53:01Low to mid-30s, but definitely somewhere there.
00:53:03That's how many women jump at me all the fucking time, Ben.
00:53:06You want a fucking trophy?
00:53:07No, I don't want a fucking trophy.
00:53:09No, why are you telling me?
00:53:09Why are you telling me?
00:53:15Just to hurt me.
00:53:17How can I hurt you?
00:53:19Your fucking hardness!
00:53:27Fuck you.
00:53:34I miss you.
00:53:36I miss you too.
00:53:38So much.
00:53:39I try so hard to forget about you.
00:53:48I couldn't.
00:53:50You know?
00:53:52I just...
00:53:53I never found anyone compared to you.
00:54:01I love you, Mom.
00:54:05I love you too.
00:54:06Should we go again?
00:54:18Yeah, we could do better.
00:54:19I think so.
00:54:20No, you have this whole other life, this whole other world, and I'm not a part of it.
00:54:34And look, I love that you're happy.
00:54:36I do.
00:54:36I love it.
00:54:38But I'm not.
00:54:40You're not.
00:54:40I don't want you to be happy, Jack.
00:54:41I think maybe I wanted a baby and to start a family so I can get you back.
00:54:53I don't want you to be happy, Jack.
00:54:54I don't want you to be happy, Jack.
00:54:55I don't want you to be happy, Jack.
00:54:56I don't want you to be happy, Jack.
00:54:57We already are a family, Jack.
00:54:59And we always will be.
00:55:04I don't want you to be happy.
00:55:06I don't want you to be happy.
00:55:07I don't want you to be happy.
00:55:08That baby didn't change that.
00:55:34What are you looking at?
00:55:55Is your marriage over?
00:56:04It feels like days how much longer could be any minute any second this is awful
00:56:34just bomb us already I keep thinking about the last few years
00:56:40I went through a year of chemo and then I went right back to work
00:56:45You know I made all these plans and I don't know why I didn't do any of them
00:56:50I was gonna travel the world
00:56:52With me?
00:56:55Of course we should have planned a trip
00:57:01I'm really sorry we never got married
00:57:03You are?
00:57:08Yeah
00:57:09I just
00:57:11I think now that
00:57:14You know I'm on death's door
00:57:16It's something that I really wanted all the time
00:57:19And you know when I think about
00:57:22When I picture our death you know
00:57:26Like I mean obviously you die first
00:57:29Obviously
00:57:31Because you're very very old
00:57:34I'm seven months older than you
00:57:37Seven months
00:57:37You know when I just saw us as married
00:57:39Because you know
00:57:41It's
00:57:41Be the loyal
00:57:44Much younger mournful husband that
00:57:46Never left your side
00:57:49You know
00:57:50Yeah
00:57:50That's sweet
00:57:52And kind of morbid
00:57:55I never knew it meant that much to you
00:58:00I think it does
00:58:01We should have done it
00:58:03We should do it now
00:58:06We should do it now
00:58:09Now?
00:58:11Yes
00:58:11Why not?
00:58:12What do we have to lose?
00:58:14Nothing I guess
00:58:15How do we do this?
00:58:18How do we do this now?
00:58:20I'm ordained
00:58:20What?
00:58:21Yeah
00:58:21I did it online last summer
00:58:23When our drummer
00:58:25Julie and her makeup artist
00:58:26Got married in Costa Rica
00:58:27That's amazing
00:58:30Let's do it
00:58:34Let's do it
00:58:53Here it comes
00:59:05Please stop
00:59:05Please stop
00:59:05Welcome
00:59:20We did it guys
00:59:23We're gathered here today
00:59:27For
00:59:27Actually for
00:59:29Jack and Jill's birthday
00:59:31But
00:59:32And the
00:59:33Bomb techs happened
00:59:34And we all rushed down here
00:59:37And then
00:59:37Other stuff happened
00:59:40But now we're here
00:59:44Celebrating the love
00:59:46With Damien and Eshan
00:59:48You guys ready?
00:59:52I'll keep it short
00:59:52Because
00:59:53Times are the essence
00:59:54Damien
00:59:55Do you take Eshan
00:59:58To be your wedded husband
00:59:59To be your partner in life
01:00:01To share a path of life with
01:00:04Equal in love
01:00:05Embraced as a mirror
01:00:06Of your true self
01:00:07To honor and cherish
01:00:10Through good times and bad
01:00:11I do
01:00:13Great answer
01:00:17There it is
01:00:22Thank you
01:00:23Fitz
01:00:24Hey Sean
01:00:26Same question
01:00:27Do you take Damien
01:00:30To be your wedded husband
01:00:31To be your partner in life
01:00:33To share a path of life with
01:00:35In love
01:00:37To honor
01:00:38To cherish him
01:00:40Through good times and bad
01:00:42Still get it
01:00:47I can't
01:00:48What?
01:00:49Oh my god
01:00:51It's happening
01:00:52Oh my god
01:00:53Oh my god
01:00:56Was that it?
01:00:57Is that it?
01:00:58I don't know
01:00:59Is it over?
01:01:01Am I going to just spend the first one?
01:01:03Oh shit
01:01:04The chef
01:01:05We need to go get her
01:01:07I'll go
01:01:08No
01:01:08Just dad
01:01:09I plan it
01:01:11It's my responsibility
01:01:12I can go
01:01:13There might be nuclear fallout
01:01:14Penelope
01:01:15I'm going upstairs
01:01:16Through a pandemic
01:01:17I am going the fuck upstairs
01:01:19Wait
01:01:20I'm going with you
01:01:23Fine
01:01:25You're going to need protection
01:01:31Why are you screaming?
01:01:33Fuck you
01:01:34Fuck you
01:01:34Fuck you
01:01:35Fuck you
01:01:39Fuck you
01:01:39Fuck you
01:01:51Fuck you
01:01:51Sheff?
01:01:51Sheff?
01:01:52Ben?
01:01:53Oh my god
01:01:53Oh my god
01:01:54Chef? Chef?
01:01:57Ben! Over here!
01:01:58Oh, my God!
01:02:02Oh, my God!
01:02:03Still breathing. Oh, thank God!
01:02:05Yeah, I wouldn't normally move her in this state,
01:02:08given the circumstances.
01:02:10Ben? Ben! Grab her legs.
01:02:13Come on. Okay.
01:02:15Ready? One, two, three, go!
01:02:17Okay. Move it, move it.
01:02:19Okay, okay, okay.
01:02:20Okay, easy, easy. Sam, falster, falster.
01:02:22No, no, no. Easy, easy.
01:02:23Oh, my God.
01:02:33Ben!
01:02:35Shit!
01:02:36Oh, fucking hell.
01:02:39There's no bomb.
01:02:40What?
01:02:45There's no fucking bomb.
01:02:50Oh, shit!
01:02:53There is no missile threat or danger to the state of California.
01:03:03Repeat.
01:03:05Full salam.
01:03:06Oh, my God!
01:03:08Get out of here!
01:03:09Get out of here!
01:03:10Get out of here!
01:03:12Get out of here!
01:03:13Get out of here!
01:03:14Get out of here!
01:03:15Get out of here!
01:03:16Get out of here!
01:03:17Get out of here!
01:03:18What was that explosion?
01:03:19Oh, my God.
01:03:20Okay, get out of here!
01:03:21Oh, my God!
01:03:22Oh, shit!
01:03:23Guys, hey, wait.
01:03:24I'm sorry, babe.
01:03:25We should get Jack to the couch and get pillows.
01:03:27Excuse us.
01:03:28That's not the same thing.
01:03:29Go, go, go, go.
01:03:29Sit down.
01:03:30Fine, fine.
01:03:31Okay, it's okay.
01:03:32We're almost there.
01:03:33Oop!
01:03:34Let me get a pillow here.
01:03:35Oh, my God.
01:03:37Oh!
01:03:39Oh!
01:03:40I got the same text.
01:03:42So did I.
01:03:43No, that's right.
01:03:44She didn't real quick.
01:03:45My parents are okay.
01:03:47They were hiding in their garage.
01:03:49I mean, was this a false alarm?
01:03:51I mean, what the fuck?
01:03:51It's so fucked up.
01:03:53Who would fuck up a nuclear bomb?
01:03:55The system was hacked.
01:03:57We can't know exactly what happened for sure.
01:03:59Another country just hacked our emergency alert system
01:04:01and fucked the shit out of all of us.
01:04:02Again, Ishan, we don't know that it was another country.
01:04:05It could have just been a guy in his underwear in Michigan.
01:04:08There's really only one thing we could know for sure.
01:04:12So we wouldn't have known any of this if it wasn't for a phone.
01:04:19What?
01:04:22Why are you looking at me like that?
01:04:24Well, Penelope, because if you didn't sneaky sneaky
01:04:33and go grab the unplug box, then we would still be
01:04:38celebrating our birthday party.
01:04:39Mm-hmm.
01:04:40Maybe eating some of that thug pussy or something, you know?
01:04:45Mm-hmm.
01:04:46Wouldn't have experienced any of this, really.
01:04:47Well, none of it.
01:04:49Who has a no-phone party and invites the mother of a newborn?
01:04:53Well, I'll tell you who.
01:04:55Me.
01:04:56I do.
01:04:57He does.
01:04:58Yeah.
01:04:59You don't have kids, so you don't understand.
01:05:00That's a little insensitive.
01:05:02Oh, shut up.
01:05:03It's just a fact, Jill.
01:05:05Okay, first of all, don't tell my wife to shut up.
01:05:08The mother of a nuns really shouldn't be away from their babies in the first few months.
01:05:12That sounds very judgy.
01:05:14And they definitely should not be attending no-phone parties unknowingly.
01:05:19They're called unplug parties.
01:05:21Absolutely.
01:05:21It is to get old friends together to connect.
01:05:23Connect.
01:05:25Without phones.
01:05:26Absolutely, right.
01:05:27Which we would have done if you didn't grab yours.
01:05:30Mm-hmm.
01:05:30I didn't ask to escape reality, and I didn't create this disaster.
01:05:35It's not my fault.
01:05:37Mm-hmm.
01:05:38Except it kind of is.
01:05:39Yeah.
01:05:40And even Jill took the night off, and she's addicted to her fucking phone.
01:05:44Fine.
01:05:46If it makes you feel better, blame me.
01:05:48I don't give a shit.
01:05:49I think I'm gonna go now.
01:05:51Okay.
01:05:51That sounds great.
01:05:53You coming?
01:05:54Do you even want me to come with you?
01:05:57I am going to be with our son, Sam.
01:05:59Are you coming?
01:06:00It's late, and it's far, and Rocco's probably asleep by now.
01:06:04Oh, my God.
01:06:05He's fine, Penn.
01:06:06Your priorities are fucking...
01:06:07Oh, my priorities?
01:06:08You just told me you don't fucking love me,
01:06:10so don't come out with your fucking priorities right now!
01:06:13I'm done.
01:06:13Okay, see you later.
01:06:14No, you won't.
01:06:15Thank you for a horrible evening, everyone.
01:06:19Good night.
01:06:20Good night.
01:06:27Sammy.
01:06:29Sammy, boy.
01:06:31Hold on, I got her.
01:06:32Hey.
01:06:33Wait.
01:06:34I mean...
01:06:35I'm sorry, man.
01:06:36Did you have any fun?
01:06:41Yeah, she did.
01:06:42And...
01:06:43What happened down there?
01:06:47Why'd you say you can't?
01:06:49Can we talk about this later?
01:06:51No, I want to talk about it right now.
01:06:53I don't upset you, Damien.
01:06:56No, it's too late for that.
01:06:57I've always been very honest about my feelings on marriage.
01:07:05I'm not a big fan.
01:07:06I never have been.
01:07:07I was open with you about that from the very first day.
01:07:10Yeah, exactly.
01:07:11That was in the beginning.
01:07:12That was years ago.
01:07:13Well, nothing has changed.
01:07:13Everything's changed.
01:07:14What has changed?
01:07:15You and I have changed.
01:07:16We've been together for 10 years.
01:07:17I got you through cancer.
01:07:19I love you so much, Damien.
01:07:20I...
01:07:21Do you?
01:07:22Yes.
01:07:23I am a child of divorce.
01:07:25I am a divorce attorney.
01:07:27I know better.
01:07:28I have seen the worst in people.
01:07:30Well, then why did you agree to it down in the basement?
01:07:32I was in shock.
01:07:33You asked me to do it in front of all of your friends.
01:07:37We thought...
01:07:39We thought we were gonna die.
01:07:41Oh, okay, so that's the only way you'd marry me.
01:07:46Cool.
01:07:47I think that we both just need to take a couple of breaths.
01:07:51It's been a really long night, Damien.
01:07:52The night's just getting started, party people!
01:07:55What?
01:07:56Oh, my God.
01:07:57Chef Sasha.
01:07:58It's kicking in, huh?
01:08:00What happened to you?
01:08:01Oh, I am so sorry.
01:08:02My liquid nitrogen tank exploded, and I blacked out for a bit.
01:08:05But all good now.
01:08:07That was the sound.
01:08:08Um, I-I do have some bad news.
01:08:12What?
01:08:17There is no side of sorbet.
01:08:20Oh.
01:08:21Oh!
01:08:21We don't need sorbet.
01:08:23I would actually like some sorbet.
01:08:24Well, she's had a long night, you know?
01:08:26She has?
01:08:27I only have the lemon blueberry pavlova with canna butter
01:08:36and the tiramisu with coconut-infused mascarpone
01:08:39for my vegan brother.
01:08:41Both coming in at a solid 15 milligrams of THC per se...
01:08:50I'm fine, it's just the nitrogen poisoning.
01:08:52It'll wear off in a few weeks.
01:08:53Okay.
01:08:54Both desserts use one of my favorite strains, Pink Pooh Nanny.
01:08:58Of course.
01:08:59Which should help you unleash your creativity like it did mine.
01:09:06Oh.
01:09:07Wow.
01:09:07My God.
01:09:08Okay.
01:09:09Center of the table, please.
01:09:11Oh, God, that's so beautiful.
01:09:16Please don't touch it.
01:09:17Of course.
01:09:18Until after I leave.
01:09:19You got it, of course.
01:09:21Well, I don't want to, uh, hold up the party,
01:09:23and I think I should lie down and probably drink some vinegar.
01:09:27I have had such an amazing time getting to know each and every one of you
01:09:32and being your guide on this journey.
01:09:34Thank you so much, and truly, hamaste.
01:09:39Oh, yes.
01:09:40Thank you so much.
01:09:41Chef, chef, chef, chef.
01:09:42Chef, chef, chef.
01:09:47She doesn't even know.
01:09:48Maybe when she blacked out, she forgot about the bomb?
01:09:52She probably turns her phone off when she's working so she can stay present and be in the
01:09:58moment and actually enjoy the experience of cooking.
01:10:02Those desserts do look pretty good.
01:10:04Yeah, they do.
01:10:05Here, hold this.
01:10:09Excuse me.
01:10:11Excuse me.
01:10:15Where are you going, honey?
01:10:26What's it going?
01:10:28Oh, shit!
01:10:30What?
01:10:30Did that go?
01:10:31That is so punk rock!
01:10:33Yes!
01:10:34Oh, my God!
01:10:35I can't believe I did that.
01:10:37I just threw my phone in the fire!
01:10:39Yeah, you fucking did!
01:10:40Come on!
01:10:41And that's so fucking good!
01:10:43Come on!
01:10:44Bah!
01:10:45Come on, who's with me?
01:10:46I'm with you!
01:10:47Yes, Logan!
01:10:48Give me your phone!
01:10:49I don't know where mine is.
01:10:50He doesn't even know where his phone is!
01:10:51That's perfect!
01:10:52Mo, come on, Sam!
01:10:53Yes!
01:10:54Let's throw all of our phones in the fucking fire!
01:10:56Let's feel free!
01:10:58Wow.
01:10:58Jack!
01:11:00My darling, I'll help you!
01:11:02Yes!
01:11:03Yes!
01:11:04Oh, I love you so much!
01:11:06Hey, I love you, too.
01:11:08Woo!
01:11:09Oh, yeah!
01:11:11That's hot.
01:11:11Mmm!
01:11:14You can do this!
01:11:15Proud of you, buddy!
01:11:15You can do this!
01:11:16Come on!
01:11:17Do it!
01:11:18Oh, I missed.
01:11:20I'll get it for you.
01:11:20I'll get it, I'll get it.
01:11:21Okay.
01:11:22Ow, ow, okay.
01:11:26Ah!
01:11:27Yes!
01:11:28Ah!
01:11:29Doesn't that feel good?
01:11:31It would have felt better if I made it, but yeah.
01:11:33Here, come on.
01:11:34It's okay.
01:11:35Let's watch it burn.
01:11:38I mean, I'm fully with them, but I think I'm just
01:11:40going to put it on vibrate.
01:11:42Right?
01:11:44We're going to be okay, right?
01:11:48I hope so.
01:11:50It would suck if we weren't.
01:11:56I promise to make more time for you.
01:12:03And I won't let so much time go by without connecting with you.
01:12:07Okay?
01:12:09Okay.
01:12:11I promise not to smoke so much pot on the couch.
01:12:14Oh.
01:12:15Well, try to mix it up and smoke some on the patio instead.
01:12:19We can't say anything about anything.
01:12:28Just act normal.
01:12:30Nothing happened.
01:12:33Yeah, no, I can't do it.
01:12:37You have to.
01:12:39I can't, because you told me you're still in love with me, Mom.
01:12:44Well, it was an intense moment.
01:12:50I thought we were going to die.
01:12:52Right.
01:12:53But isn't that when people share the most intimate thoughts?
01:13:04I can get through anything, as long as I don't lose you.
01:13:10You'll never lose me.
01:13:14And you're my family.
01:13:18I love you so fucking much.
01:13:27Well, I love you so fucking much.
01:13:35We make no plans.
01:13:38Make out all our checks to care.
01:13:48See, I got no future, cause with you there's no past.
01:13:53So make the checks to care.
01:13:57I've been pretending so we both could save face to make our checks to care.
01:14:11I've been pretending so we both could save face to make our checks to care.
01:14:26Oh, you guys, you sound so beautiful together.
01:14:39Ah, oldie but a goodie.
01:14:41Hey, we haven't sung happy birthday to these two yet.
01:14:44Oh, no, you don't have to sing.
01:14:45Yes, we do.
01:14:46Yes, we do.
01:14:47And here's your key, everybody.
01:14:49Happy birthday to you.
01:14:51Happy birthday to you.
01:14:52Happy birthday to you.
01:14:53Happy birthday to you.
01:14:54Happy birthday dear mwah.
01:14:56Happy birthday to you.
01:14:57Happy birthday dear mwah.
01:14:58Happy birthday to you.
01:14:59Happy birthday to you.
01:15:00Happy birthday to you.
01:15:03Oh, thank you.
01:15:04I love you guys so much.
01:15:05I love you guys.
01:15:06Let's eat.
01:15:07Great idea.
01:15:08Oh, I want one of these things.
01:15:09I want one of these.
01:15:10Give me a little of that too.
01:15:11Yeah.
01:15:12Do you want some?
01:15:13Yes, please.
01:15:14Oh.
01:15:15Oh.
01:15:16Oh.
01:15:17Oh.
01:15:18Oh.
01:15:19Oh, I want one of these things.
01:15:20I want one of these.
01:15:21What did he found?
01:15:22Give me a little of that too.
01:15:23Yeah.
01:15:24Do you want some?
01:15:25Yes, please.
01:15:26Oh.
01:15:27Oh.
01:15:28Oh.
01:15:29Oh.
01:15:30Oh.
01:15:31Oh.
01:15:32Oh.
01:15:33Oh.
01:15:34Oh, my God.
01:15:35Oh, my God.
01:15:44Feels good to be alive.
01:15:47I really don't.
01:15:48You guys, guess what time it is.
01:15:52It's time for a dance party!
01:15:55Woo!
01:15:56Okay.
01:15:57Come on!
01:15:58She's lost her mind.
01:15:59Good.
01:16:00Let's do it.
01:16:01No, no, no.
01:16:02We need some music.
01:16:03Oh, there it goes.
01:16:05I love this song.
01:16:06Let's turn it up.
01:16:07Yeah!
01:16:08Oh, my God!
01:16:09Yes.
01:16:10Let's do it.
01:16:11Yes, I knew you would.
01:16:12Bring it, girl.
01:16:13Come on!
01:16:14You want to dance with me?
01:16:16I am really good.
01:16:17I know.
01:16:18You saw those moves.
01:16:19Come on.
01:16:20Come on.
01:16:21Yes, girl.
01:16:22Come on.
01:16:23Let's do it.
01:16:24Good.
01:16:25I'm going to that.
01:16:26Welcome back.
01:16:27Where are you going?
01:16:28Oh, my God.
01:16:33Yes!
01:16:34Yes!
01:16:35Come on, too.
01:16:38I'm 40.
01:16:39Ah!
01:16:40Earthquake!
01:16:41Hello, hello, hello, listeners.
01:16:57Welcome back to Marriage in the Middle Ages, where we talk about everything and anything to do with marriage.
01:17:04With me today is a very special guest.
01:17:08You have heard me talk about him many, many times before because he is my husband.
01:17:15Please welcome Jack Langer.
01:17:18Oh, I didn't realize there'd be an applause track.
01:17:22That's nice.
01:17:23I kind of want that every time.
01:17:24All for you, baby.
01:17:26Well, it's good to see you, my wife.
01:17:28It's good to see you, too, my husband.
01:17:31Yeah.
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