2DTV is a British animated comedy and satire series that aired on ITV from 2001 to 2004. Known for its biting humor, celebrity parodies, and sharp political commentary, the show quickly became a fan favorite during the early 2000s.
Season 3 (2003) continued to deliver outrageous sketches and clever animated spoofs of world leaders, pop culture icons, and events of the time. With its fast-paced animation style and fearless satire, 2DTV stood out as one of the boldest British animated comedy shows.
This upload contains the entire Season 3 compilation, presented in Full HD for fans of British comedy and animated sketch humor. If you love shows like Spitting Image, South Park, or other parody-driven cartoons, you’ll enjoy the wit and style of 2DTV.
👉 Watch the full season now on CartoonLTV:
🔗 https://www.dailymotion.com/CartoonLTV
#2DTV #BritishCartoon #CartoonLTV #UKComedy #AnimatedSatire #BritishAnimation #CartoonFans #CartoonSeries #CartoonCommunity #CartoonWorld #CartoonStream #CartoonBuzz #CartoonLegends #CartoonChannel #CartoonAddict #CartoonLife #CartoonTime #CartoonForever #CartoonBlast #CartoonVault #CartoonCulture #CartoonHeroes #CartoonFandom #CartoonRewatch #CartoonKingdom #CartoonClassic #CartoonThrowback #CartoonEra #CartoonArchive #CartoonEntertainment #CartoonAddiction #BritishCartoons #CartoonUniverse #CartoonCommunityUK #CartoonUK #CartoonNostalgia #CartoonMagic #CartoonHistory #CartoonTrend #CartoonLovers #CartoonNation #CartoonJourney #CartoonLegacy #CartoonObsessed #CartoonGold #CartoonLegacyUK #CartoonHeritage #CartoonHumor #CartoonFullSeason #CartoonComplete
Season 3 (2003) continued to deliver outrageous sketches and clever animated spoofs of world leaders, pop culture icons, and events of the time. With its fast-paced animation style and fearless satire, 2DTV stood out as one of the boldest British animated comedy shows.
This upload contains the entire Season 3 compilation, presented in Full HD for fans of British comedy and animated sketch humor. If you love shows like Spitting Image, South Park, or other parody-driven cartoons, you’ll enjoy the wit and style of 2DTV.
👉 Watch the full season now on CartoonLTV:
🔗 https://www.dailymotion.com/CartoonLTV
#2DTV #BritishCartoon #CartoonLTV #UKComedy #AnimatedSatire #BritishAnimation #CartoonFans #CartoonSeries #CartoonCommunity #CartoonWorld #CartoonStream #CartoonBuzz #CartoonLegends #CartoonChannel #CartoonAddict #CartoonLife #CartoonTime #CartoonForever #CartoonBlast #CartoonVault #CartoonCulture #CartoonHeroes #CartoonFandom #CartoonRewatch #CartoonKingdom #CartoonClassic #CartoonThrowback #CartoonEra #CartoonArchive #CartoonEntertainment #CartoonAddiction #BritishCartoons #CartoonUniverse #CartoonCommunityUK #CartoonUK #CartoonNostalgia #CartoonMagic #CartoonHistory #CartoonTrend #CartoonLovers #CartoonNation #CartoonJourney #CartoonLegacy #CartoonObsessed #CartoonGold #CartoonLegacyUK #CartoonHeritage #CartoonHumor #CartoonFullSeason #CartoonComplete
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00This is a production of the U.S. Department of State.
00:00:30General, this mirror isn't working.
00:00:47Sir, that's a painting.
00:00:49But it...
00:00:49No time to explain, sir.
00:00:51I have an urgent call for you on the satellite video link.
00:00:54It's, uh, Saddam Hussein.
00:00:56Ah.
00:00:57Ah, Mr. Bush.
00:00:58So you want to bomb old Saddam, eh?
00:01:01Fair enough.
00:01:03But would you want to bomb...
00:01:05Tiddle?
00:01:06Meow.
00:01:07Or Fluffy?
00:01:09Or Tufty?
00:01:11Yes, gentlemen.
00:01:12From now on, myself and all military targets will be protected by a kitten shield.
00:01:18Won't they?
00:01:19Yes, they will.
00:01:20Yes, they will.
00:01:22Anyway, end transmission.
00:01:27Could I have one?
00:01:28General, can't I?
00:01:29I gotta have one of those cute furry things.
00:01:32If you insist, sir.
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:37Aw.
00:01:38But I don't look no different.
00:01:40Oh, hairy Moses.
00:01:44It's so depressing.
00:01:45Can't one trust a single member of the royal household?
00:01:48I know, mate.
00:01:49I know, mate.
00:01:49One can't have a private conversation without it somehow ending up in the papers.
00:01:55Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:01:56So anyway, I go into the sauna and there's Philip, Eureka and Michael Barrymore.
00:02:00Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:02:01I mean, I didn't know you could do that with a whisk.
00:02:04No, you can.
00:02:05Oh, is all this really necessary, David?
00:02:11Yeah.
00:02:11I'm not taking no chances.
00:02:13It's to protect us all.
00:02:15Aw.
00:02:17Nice one, Dad.
00:02:18My fellow TV executives, I know it's only half past four and I'm sorry to cut short your
00:02:26lunch, but this is a crisis.
00:02:28Barrymore, Deaton, Leslie, our presenters have let us down, but the solution is at hand.
00:02:34I give you the perfect television personality.
00:02:37Robo Celeb.
00:02:39I am Robo Celeb.
00:02:40I love my wife.
00:02:41I hate cocaine.
00:02:42I do not have a swimming pool.
00:02:44Oh, bless.
00:02:45I mean, the moral standards of television are safe once more.
00:02:48It's called for a celebration.
00:02:52All right, all right, all right.
00:02:58Is this all I do?
00:03:00It is.
00:03:00All right, all right, all right, all right.
00:03:03Welcome to This Morning and hello to students, unemployed people and John Leslie.
00:03:07Ooh.
00:03:10Hello and welcome to scripted smart-ass remark performed as AdLib.
00:03:15Allegedly.
00:03:18He's even stiffer than Angus.
00:03:20Hmm, they're not in the trouser department.
00:03:22Allegedly.
00:03:25This guy's fantastic.
00:03:26The future.
00:03:27Brilliant.
00:03:28Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:03:30Oh, no.
00:03:31You're the only ones who didn't see that coming.
00:03:34And at the end of that floor, I've got another 15 to do.
00:03:38Controversial.
00:03:38Don't worry, madam.
00:03:49We'll have Tiddles down in a jiffy.
00:03:51Ow!
00:03:52Oh.
00:03:53Right.
00:03:54I understand your daughter's got her toe stuck in a tap.
00:03:57Ah, what is a worry?
00:04:02Let's face it, we're an obvious target.
00:04:04They could attack at any moment.
00:04:06We're doomed.
00:04:07Calm down, everyone.
00:04:08It's absolutely vital that at this time of terrorist threat, we, the cabinet, show the public that we are not going to panic.
00:04:14I'll drink to that.
00:04:17Gas attack!
00:04:22Whoa!
00:04:24Emergency procedure initiated.
00:04:26Commencing operation, I'm all right, Jack.
00:04:33Whoa!
00:04:34Voila.
00:04:35No terrorist can get us down here.
00:04:37Oh, nice one, Tone.
00:04:39There's enough food here to last us, well, till lunchtime.
00:04:42And look, we've even got beds.
00:04:46Four.
00:04:47Bags in the top bunk.
00:04:49And the bottom bunk.
00:04:51But, Tone, what about the outside world?
00:04:54Don't worry.
00:04:55This special hotline allows us to control events on the surface.
00:04:58Six votes for Les Dennis.
00:05:02And one for Melinda Messenger.
00:05:05Michael Jackson's Parenting Tips, number 43.
00:05:12It's important to encourage your children to take their first steps.
00:05:16Come to Daddy, Prince Michael II.
00:05:20Whoa!
00:05:22Whoa!
00:05:23I don't see any moonwalking.
00:05:28That's my boy.
00:05:30And I got the receipt to prove it.
00:05:31Ow!
00:05:34Ooh.
00:05:36Yeah, right.
00:05:37Cos they always called our place Beckingham Palace.
00:05:40After your place, Buckingham Palace.
00:05:42Hmm.
00:05:43We'll fic off back there, then.
00:05:46Ah, here come the Kents.
00:05:54Yeah.
00:05:55Psst!
00:05:56Mo, I've got something you might be interested in.
00:05:59What you got, dodgy gear?
00:06:01Shh, not so bad.
00:06:03Why?
00:06:03Is it nicked?
00:06:05What's that little thief Billy Mitchell trying to flog you?
00:06:08Shh, stop shatting.
00:06:10What is it we're not supposed to shat about?
00:06:13Billy's offloading some dodgy gear.
00:06:15Dodgy gear?
00:06:17Shh.
00:06:17Will the two of you shut up?
00:06:19I can't hear meself shat.
00:06:21Shut it.
00:06:22Shut it yourself.
00:06:23Shut it, the pair of you.
00:06:25Ah!
00:06:25What you selling, anyway?
00:06:29Um, megaphones.
00:06:32Oh, I could do with one of these.
00:06:35Now, how do I turn it on?
00:06:37Elton.
00:06:43So, what have you been doing today, Jerry?
00:06:48Oh, you never.
00:06:51What the?
00:06:53Take cover.
00:06:56Ow!
00:06:57Right, that's it, Elton.
00:06:59What?
00:07:00Oh, look at that.
00:07:04Come with us.
00:07:1525 up.
00:07:17Ah!
00:07:21Ah!
00:07:22Ah!
00:07:26Ah!
00:07:27See, you've got to lose some weight.
00:07:30Okay.
00:07:31Maybe just a pound or two.
00:07:33Ah!
00:07:34Funny flaws.
00:07:36Time for the Halliwell plan.
00:07:41Blimey, this is hard.
00:07:47Bad, Elton.
00:07:48No.
00:07:53Oh!
00:07:55Oh, my God.
00:07:57Bad, Elton.
00:08:01No.
00:08:24Elton, stop eating the calendar.
00:08:26I'm sorry.
00:08:31Ta-da!
00:08:32It worked.
00:08:34Don't I look fabulous, guys?
00:08:37Guys?
00:08:39Oh, well, so three months ago, Elton.
00:08:41Hmm, don't you know anything?
00:08:43Fat is the new thing.
00:08:50Now that's a bargain.
00:08:52Cheap as chips.
00:08:53Mr Dickinson, it's time for your make-up.
00:08:55Thanks very much.
00:08:56Very funny, guys, but I'm not made of wood.
00:09:10How about we give the firemen 15% over two years?
00:09:14How about 2% over 15 years?
00:09:17Actually, I think we should give them whatever they're chopping once.
00:09:20What?
00:09:21Provided they come back to work immediately.
00:09:24Like right bloody now!
00:09:25Oh, not again, John.
00:09:28What?
00:09:28I was hungry.
00:09:29It's all right, team.
00:09:30I'll handle this.
00:09:33Hi, God.
00:09:34It's Tony.
00:09:34All praise to the Almighty One.
00:09:45It wasn't just me.
00:09:46I mean, God helped a bit.
00:09:47On second thoughts, give the firemen 40%, you insufferable little squirt.
00:09:56Nice, Mallow, anyone?
00:10:01Whose share is he?
00:10:03Mine!
00:10:04You're barred.
00:10:08You're barred.
00:10:10Will you please state your nominations?
00:10:24Yes, I want to evict myself.
00:10:26I'm fed up with the lot of them.
00:10:28Send me back to the battery farm, please.
00:10:31Rip out me giblets and roast me.
00:10:32Anything's better than this.
00:10:34Also, I'm a bit worried that Neil Morris is shagging me missus.
00:10:37The ITV News at 10 with Ant and Deck.
00:10:46ITV denies accusations of dumb and down.
00:10:50Bongaroonie!
00:10:51Ant gets surprise slap on head, eh?
00:10:54Slaparoonie!
00:10:55And former newscaster evicted by foreign vote.
00:10:59News to stay in.
00:11:00I am hungry and homeless.
00:11:02Tramparoonie!
00:11:04And now the weather.
00:11:05And now the weather.
00:11:06Hello.
00:11:08And here's tomorrow's weather.
00:11:10Well, it's going to be nice and sunny
00:11:12if you phone this number.
00:11:15But if you like cloudy conditions
00:11:17with a stiff northeasterly breeze,
00:11:19ring this number.
00:11:21Or if you'd prefer relentless drizzly rain,
00:11:24move to Wales.
00:11:26Good night.
00:11:30So, what would sir like?
00:11:32A little bit off the top and shave the side.
00:11:34Certainly, sir.
00:11:36Oh, thanks.
00:11:40Oh, very funny, guys.
00:11:42But I'm not made of wood.
00:11:43You're older than I thought.
00:11:45So, as you can see, Mr. Inspector,
00:11:57we have no weapons of mass destruction here at all.
00:12:00How would you like an extremely large sum of money?
00:12:12And some new pants.
00:12:13Oh, I guess so.
00:12:14Good news, sir.
00:12:14Irek seems to be cooperating fully with the UN inspectors.
00:12:16Looks like an all-out conflict can be avoided.
00:12:18Oh, nuts.
00:12:19Sir?
00:12:20I want a war.
00:12:22I want a war.
00:12:23I want a war.
00:12:24I want a war.
00:12:25I want a war.
00:12:26All the other presidents have had wars.
00:12:27You've only just had a war, sir.
00:12:28And you didn't even finish that one.
00:12:29Well, I'm going to hold my breath until you let me have another one.
00:12:31Oh, now, sir.
00:12:33Oh, I think I better fetch Professor Liebstrom.
00:12:38Hey!
00:12:39Good news, sir.
00:12:40Irek seems to be cooperating fully with the UN inspectors.
00:12:42Looks like an all-out conflict can be avoided.
00:12:43Oh, nuts.
00:12:44Sir?
00:12:45I want a war.
00:12:46I want a war.
00:12:47I want a war.
00:12:48All the other presidents have had wars.
00:12:50You've only just had a war, sir, and you didn't even finish that one.
00:12:53Well, I'm going to hold my breath until you let me have another one.
00:12:55Oh, now, sir.
00:12:56I think I better fetch Professor Liebstrom.
00:13:00Hello!
00:13:04Professor Liebstrom!
00:13:06Yeah! Look, I know! Instead of having a war, why don't we have an ice cream?
00:13:13Yeah, an ice cream!
00:13:15With chocolate sauce!
00:13:17Oh, yeah!
00:13:18And a war!
00:13:19No!
00:13:20Sir, nobody else wants a war, except perhaps Britain!
00:13:25Hey, let's have a war with Britain, then!
00:13:27Oh, hairy Moses!
00:13:49Go on, then, John. Go and scare the voter.
00:13:52But it's not my job to scare voters, Tone!
00:13:55It's my job to run the country if anything happens to you!
00:13:58No, no, don't scare me!
00:14:01Scare the voter into voting for us!
00:14:04OK, I'll do me best!
00:14:07Evening, love.
00:14:10Good evening, love.
00:14:11If the Tories get in, bad things will happen!
00:14:15Probably!
00:14:16Whoo!
00:14:18William Hague!
00:14:19Oh, no, he's gone, hasn't he?
00:14:21What's his name?
00:14:22New blooook!
00:14:28Oh, it's not working, Tone!
00:14:30She's not scared!
00:14:31Evening, love.
00:14:32Oh, well, hello.
00:14:33Oh, you're good!
00:14:35Open an account with us, he said.
00:14:36Why, I said.
00:14:37Because we have over 170 local branches, he said.
00:14:39That's good, I said.
00:14:40Which are being closed down, he said.
00:14:41No shit, I said.
00:14:42But we do have cash points, he said.
00:14:43That's relief, I said.
00:14:44Nearest one's 20 miles away, he said.
00:14:45I can't repeat what I said.
00:15:06Yeah, baby, yeah, baby.
00:15:23Oh, yes.
00:15:25Grrr, baby, let's get back to basics.
00:15:29Oh, behave.
00:15:31Do I make you horny?
00:15:33Pull my shag hotline.
00:15:35Wow, Edwina Humpalot.
00:15:38How do you like your eggs in the morning, baby?
00:15:41Without salmonella.
00:15:42Right.
00:15:50Talk about a red-hot curry.
00:15:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:15:53Edwina?
00:15:54No, I am the Minister of Evil,
00:15:57and I'm going to sell my evil diaries for one million dollars.
00:16:03Oh, no.
00:16:04This is all your fault, very mini-me.
00:16:11Well, it looks like a beautiful piece,
00:16:13but a closer inspection reveals it's riddled with woodwork.
00:16:16Oh, very funny, guys, but I'm not made of wood.
00:16:26Oh, it's all going wrong, Tony.
00:16:30Massive borrowing, strikes, militant union leaders.
00:16:33No.
00:16:34We are not giving in, Gordon.
00:16:36We are not going back to the 70s.
00:16:39Yeah.
00:16:40You're right.
00:16:41Absolutely.
00:16:42Groovy.
00:16:43Fab.
00:16:44You're one cool cat, Tony.
00:16:46Let's boogie.
00:16:47Let's boogie.
00:16:52Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:16:54Stingin' Paul, Stingin' Paul!
00:16:56Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:16:58Stingin' Paul, Stingin' Paul!
00:17:00Stingin' Paul!
00:17:01Get us a can of Coke, Mom.
00:17:16Hey, don't speak to your mother like that.
00:17:19Sorry, Dad.
00:17:20Get us a f***ing can of f***ing Coke, you f***ing bitch!
00:17:24That's better, you little f***er.
00:17:26Oh.
00:17:34Uh!
00:17:35Yeah!
00:17:37Oh!
00:17:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:40Woah, woah, woah.
00:17:41Hm, ha!
00:17:43Uh!
00:17:45Ooh!
00:17:46Ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:17:48Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:17:51Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:52Ha, ha, ha!
00:17:53Dammit!
00:18:04I am Adrian.
00:18:11Oh, all right, sexy.
00:18:15Here Rod, are you looking at my bird?
00:18:18Your bird?
00:18:19She's mine.
00:18:20Look at her, blonde, young, stupid.
00:18:22She must be.
00:18:23Here, hold up. Stringy will know. Aye, aye?
00:18:26Which one of us is shagging this chick?
00:18:28Oh, me, obviously.
00:18:29We've been having a long-term relationship since Tuesday, haven't we?
00:18:32Whoa, hang on, lads.
00:18:34Long blonde hair, hangs out in tacky nightclubs, shags anyone.
00:18:38You're Peter Stringfellow, aren't you?
00:18:40Aye.
00:18:41Now, what are you doing with my woman?
00:18:44And at the end of that round of drinks,
00:18:45I'd like to say I've never met her before in my life,
00:18:48and I'll sue anyone who says I did, allegedly.
00:18:51Unless, of course, you've got photos, in which case, let's talk.
00:18:55So, come on, who's bird is she?
00:18:58It's mine, isn't she?
00:18:59No, mine, I definitely recognise her.
00:19:01Dad?
00:19:02Huh?
00:19:03Can we go now?
00:19:05Here, are you looking at my daughter?
00:19:07Daughter?
00:19:09She's far too old for us.
00:19:12Hey, Mick, has your daughter got a daughter?
00:19:14Hmm?
00:19:19Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling.
00:19:23All the other ducks laughed at him and were cruel to him.
00:19:31But much later, they wished they hadn't been mean,
00:19:34because the ugly duckling turned into Rio Ferdinand.
00:19:41He's still got the big bake.
00:19:43Big bake!
00:19:44Big bake!
00:19:45Big bake!
00:19:46Big bake!
00:19:48Mwah!
00:19:53Mwah!
00:19:56Mwah!
00:19:57My random acts of terrorism are bringing the world to its knees.
00:20:04Now, where shall we strike next?
00:20:09Here!
00:20:10Got it, Bob!
00:20:11On our way!
00:20:14Bad luck, people of Bin Laden's secret hideout.
00:20:18Jalal, get your ass over here.
00:20:27Why?
00:20:28Because that's where your legs are.
00:20:29I'm rich.
00:20:30I'm rich!
00:20:31I'm rich!
00:20:32Rich beyond measure!
00:20:33I know you are, Charles, but now we're here!
00:20:35Let's go!
00:20:36I'm rich!
00:20:37I'm rich!
00:20:38I'm rich!
00:20:39I'm rich!
00:20:40I'm rich beyond measure!
00:20:41I know you are, Charles, but now we're here!
00:20:43Let's go!
00:20:44I'm rich!
00:20:45I'm rich!
00:20:46I'm rich!
00:20:47Now we're here!
00:20:48Let's go and do some gambling!
00:20:49No!
00:20:50I brought you to Las Vegas to get married!
00:20:53I've told you already!
00:20:54I'll only marry you when you're the king!
00:20:56Ha ha ha!
00:20:57Hm?
00:20:58See?
00:20:59At last, I'm the king!
00:21:01Thank you, William!
00:21:08Warren speaking, how can I help you?
00:21:10One marriage, please!
00:21:11Is that a happy marriage?
00:21:13Yes, please!
00:21:14Do you want kids with that?
00:21:15Uh, no, thank you.
00:21:16I now pronounce you man and wife!
00:21:19Have a nice, happiest day of your life!
00:21:21It was a lot less techier than my first wedding!
00:21:26Dad!
00:21:27I need $50,000 for a new car!
00:21:29Like, now!
00:21:30F**k me!
00:21:31I don't keep that kind of f**king cash on me!
00:21:32Oh!
00:21:33Hang on a minute!
00:21:34Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:21:35Thanks f**k for that!
00:21:36Oi!
00:21:37Oh!
00:21:38Oh!
00:21:39Oh!
00:21:40Oh!
00:21:41Oh!
00:21:42Oh!
00:21:43Oh!
00:21:44Oh!
00:21:45Oh!
00:21:46Oh!
00:21:47Oh!
00:21:48Oh!
00:21:49Oh!
00:21:50Oh!
00:21:51Oh!
00:21:52Oh!
00:21:57all right everyone sit down John I didn't say Tony says sit down oh no not
00:22:05again I'll never get the anchor this game Tony says hop on one leg Tony says
00:22:11sing she'll be coming round the mountain she'll be coming round the mountain when
00:22:16she comes when she goes she'll be coming oh I'm bored of this I'm resigning take
00:22:21over Gordon all right absolutely now look here I didn't say Tony says Tony says be
00:22:34quiet um actually it's a bad time I'd really rather not okay she'll be coming
00:22:41round the mountain when she comes George says do it again with your pants on your
00:22:47head so as you can see we have definitely never ever experimented with chemical or
00:22:56nuclear weapons so by there mr. inspectors thanks for coming oh oh no not another
00:23:11trophy have you got a new room on your wall sweetheart well I suppose I could
00:23:17squeeze it in somewhere anyway it's my great-granddad Algernon Beckham wow I
00:23:27wonder what life was like in his day oh David I think I'm having one of my dizzy spells
00:23:34oh it's a flashback silly it's 1912 the year Britain fell in love with Algernon Beckham and
00:23:43his lovely wife Lady posh as England football captain Algernon trains flat out and is so popular
00:23:59his distinctive look is copied in every playground in the land lady posh isn't idle either right now
00:24:09she's busy rehearsing her new music hall hit they live with a lovely two children and a full-time
00:24:23governess and their faithful butler Neville that's no job for a lady that's a job for a child meanwhile
00:24:36algae and the England chaps are off to win the World Cup and it's a tough group too hang on chaps don't
00:24:47forget your standard issue good old-fashioned brown leather football here rebel simon simon cat
00:24:52oh looks like an early bath I don't care what the critics say the Tory party has never been in better
00:25:06shape yes onwards and upwards exactly there's no way we're going to disappear we've got big ideas big
00:25:14support and a big future that's right oh buggeration I've just trodden in a shadow cabinet I'll just
00:25:26wipe it off on this turd Jerry's Yoga Physicians number 37 no eating
00:25:36skinny hungry skinny hungry skinny I'd like to see those terrorists trying to attack the White House
00:25:48now general so it's the old decoy trick sir you got it general very good sir but how do you know which
00:25:57is the real White House it's okay I thought of that too damn what are the chances of that
00:26:11oh god Trini Trini look at this she's wearing a black burka that's so last year Susanna try this
00:26:24you see it's a whole new you you've got lovely eyes make the most of them
00:26:30god Yuri you're good I knew I was going to say that uncanny time for supper I knew I was going to say
00:26:43I knew I was going to say that too uncanny huh huh huh huh no no no no cable
00:27:07didn't predict this did you you spoon bending bastard oh thank god my wife
00:27:20no this is Yuri leave a message or do I know what it is going to be hi Yuri it's Tony Blackburn here
00:27:32getting the celebrities back together thought we might come and say yours for a couple of months
00:27:35no kill me now
00:27:37the truth is we do have conclusive proof that Saddam has weapons of mass destruction
00:27:46and here it is we kept the invoice and if he doesn't pay up soon he's not getting any more
00:27:52thank god you're here doctor what's the problem though it's Charlie
00:28:00he says he's got a headache ain't that right dad he was fine until he got home
00:28:06I see take two of these and pop them in your ears
00:28:11is that better dad much better
00:28:13here doc there's something wrong with me and all
00:28:16hmm I totally lost me voice
00:28:18yeah me too
00:28:19bloody fireman if they won't do it I'll do it be chuffing self
00:28:30I mean how hard can it be
00:28:32it's your animal
00:28:33don't panic big fella
00:28:43there must be a way out of this
00:28:45there we are sir your brand new white house
00:28:57all finished
00:28:58not quite
00:28:59huh
00:29:00yeah this will fool him for sure
00:29:05oh hairy moses
00:29:10that morning on the train I was called to the restaurant car
00:29:17where there had been a murder
00:29:20oh monsieur poirot thank god you're here
00:29:26mr branson has been beaten to death with his own train timetable
00:29:30right no one is going anywhere
00:29:32we bloody know
00:29:34madam I have to ask you
00:29:36where were you at ten o'clock last night
00:29:39I was here
00:29:40we all bloody were
00:29:42and you sir
00:29:43what were you doing
00:29:44I was fast asleep
00:29:46and you are
00:29:47the driver
00:29:47hmm
00:29:48I have narrowed down the suspects
00:29:50and it is
00:29:51anyone who's ever been on a virgin train
00:29:54ha
00:29:55fooled you
00:29:56I'm not really dead it was just one of my great publicity stunts to launch virgin undertakers
00:30:03well look at the speed of that thing
00:30:09oh I brought persi pepper to sammy's spine to sample la freddie food
00:30:19oh so what's good
00:30:21we have sardines in oil
00:30:23seagull in oil
00:30:26angry chef in oil
00:30:28idiot petrolero
00:30:30and of course
00:30:31lovely spanish beach in oil
00:30:34uh you got anything that's not in oil
00:30:39we have greek captain in deep shit
00:30:41oh what do you like
00:30:43meh
00:30:44so david perhaps you'd like to explain this to me
00:30:51well
00:30:53it's called a newspaper
00:30:55it's full of news
00:30:56it's full of news
00:30:57oh
00:30:58now explain this
00:30:59that's food
00:31:00people eat it
00:31:02yeah
00:31:03fernando
00:31:08bring the limo round to the front please
00:31:10well it's about time to
00:31:25you
00:31:27well it's about time to
00:31:30you
00:31:32take me to the pool fernando
00:31:38see senior
00:31:40Si, senor!
00:31:50No, don't get out, senor! Not now!
00:31:59Oh, I don't believe it!
00:32:03Fernando, get back here!
00:32:11I wanted to go to the shallow end!
00:32:15Si, senor!
00:32:20Oh!
00:32:22This is a chuffing disaster!
00:32:25I've missed me dinner!
00:32:28No!
00:32:37Tony, darling, I know I've been a gullible fool, but now we can put this whole sorry mess behind us. I've sold the flats in Bristol.
00:32:44Marvellous! How much did we get for them?
00:32:46Three beans!
00:32:48What?
00:32:49But not just any old beans! These are magic beans!
00:32:53Magic beans? You ninny! We are not living in Pantoland!
00:32:56Fee-fi-fo-foam!
00:32:58I smell the blood of a black pudding! Any chance? No? Toast? Oh! Beans! Magic!
00:33:05Oh! Tasty!
00:33:09Uh-oh!
00:33:10Whoa!
00:33:13Hey-oh! A golden goose!
00:33:16Oh! Tasty!
00:33:20Hey, our kid! How did it go at the dentist's?
00:33:23Not bad, you know what I mean? I've got two brand new teeth, haven't I?
00:33:27Hey! You're not from round here, are you?
00:33:30No, I'm new!
00:33:32You soft southern twat!
00:33:34Don't hurt us!
00:33:35Oh, you teeth pucketing!
00:33:40You telemarketing!
00:33:42Neil? Has that naughty little man got a camera?
00:33:48Crikey, Christine. It must be Paparazzi, but I don't think he spotted us.
00:33:52Cooey!
00:33:54Over here!
00:33:56Mr Paparazzi! It's us! It's us, the Celebrity Hamiltons!
00:34:00Leave me alone!
00:34:01Oh, come on, old chap. One little photo won't hurt.
00:34:03It's my tail!
00:34:05Snap-a-doodle-doo! Get a picture of the old king of the jungle here!
00:34:08I eat bugs if you take my picture!
00:34:10It's not me, Tara! I'm rich and bonkers!
00:34:14Stop harassing me!
00:34:16Oh, just one picture!
00:34:17Over here! Over here!
00:34:19Stop respecting my privacy!
00:34:25Faster, Neil!
00:34:27Step on it!
00:34:29Do you want what we burn top off?
00:34:30Step on it!
00:34:38Now I want a snowball fight!
00:34:40Sir, it's way past your nap time!
00:34:42But I want a snowball fight!
00:34:44No!
00:34:46Sir!
00:34:48No, please!
00:34:50You're not playing! Throw one back!
00:34:51Okay, sir! Just the one!
00:34:53Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You've done it now, General!
00:34:58That was an unprovoked attack!
00:35:00You leave me with no other option!
00:35:06Oh, Harry Moses!
00:35:08Gotcha!
00:35:09Oh!
00:35:11Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Friendly fire!
00:35:15See you in the spring, sir!
00:35:18Aw!
00:35:20Bruce! I think Skippy's trying to tell us something!
00:35:23Yeah?
00:35:24What is it, Skip? There's a fire!
00:35:26All right, Baldi!
00:35:28We want to become Trappist monks!
00:35:30Yeah, we've had enough of the square!
00:35:32We want some peace!
00:35:34And quiet!
00:35:35And silent contemplation!
00:35:36Yeah, some of that and all!
00:35:38Peace, quiet and silent contemplation!
00:35:40Shut up!
00:35:41Oh! No! My vow of silence!
00:35:42Oh! At least I've kept my vow of chastity!
00:35:45Oy, oy! Fancy a bunk-up!
00:35:47Go on, then!
00:35:49And finally, we come to Great Ceremonial Portrait Caterpist.
00:35:51We've come to the Great Ceremonial Portrait Caterpist monks!
00:35:52We're the great Caterpist monks!
00:35:54Yeah, we've had enough of the square!
00:35:55We want some peace!
00:35:56And quiet and silent contemplation!
00:35:57We want some peace!
00:35:58And quiet and silent contemplation!
00:35:59Yes, some of that and all!
00:36:00Peace, quiet and silent contemplation!
00:36:01Shut up!
00:36:02Oh! No! My vow of silence!
00:36:04At least I've kept my vow of chastity!
00:36:05Oi, oi, fancy a bunk-up!
00:36:06Go on, then!
00:36:08And finally, we come to Great Ceremonial Portrait Gallery number 15!
00:36:13Notice the exquisite lack of weapons!
00:36:16So, that concludes our tour of the historic Presidential Palace!
00:36:20Don't forget to visit the gift shop on your way out!
00:36:23Sorry, we don't have any weapons of mass destruction, obviously!
00:36:26But these no-snow-shakers are very popular!
00:36:30Or a key-ring!
00:36:31Bookmark!
00:36:32Pencil sharpener!
00:36:34Bye, then!
00:36:36Phew!
00:36:37I thought that's over!
00:36:41Uh-oh!
00:36:46Destroy the West!
00:36:48Destroy the West!
00:36:50What are the chances of you not mentioning this to anyone?
00:36:56Pretty damn good, I should say!
00:36:58It's nearly three in the morning, as we await for the badger to emerge!
00:37:07And here it is!
00:37:09This notoriously shy creature!
00:37:11Whee!
00:37:13Is this more convincing?
00:37:15Yeah!
00:37:16Whoa!
00:37:25Oh!
00:37:26Oh!
00:37:27Thank you, Mr, uh, Jagger!
00:37:28Nice one!
00:37:30Can I see your backstage pass, please, sir?
00:37:33I'm Kate f***ing Richards, man.
00:37:35I'm sorry, I still need to see some ID.
00:37:37Oh, f*** it.
00:37:41Death certificate due?
00:37:46It's day 283, and the ex-Big Brother contestant is getting on with today's task.
00:37:53Stacking the shelves in the local spa.
00:37:56Oh, my God. Reality's nothing like this on TV.
00:38:01Would Jade please go to check out number six?
00:38:09It's the one after five.
00:38:12No, that's an eight.
00:38:15Left a bit.
00:38:17Oh, that's right.
00:38:21Keep going.
00:38:24Mind the cans.
00:38:26Oh, my God.
00:38:28Helen to the back bane section, please.
00:38:33OK, team.
00:38:34We're facing a very real threat of a smallpox attack,
00:38:37so it's vital we immunise key personnel.
00:38:39Good idea.
00:38:43Thank you, nurse. That'll be all.
00:38:46What?
00:38:48Has she done it yet?
00:38:50Ta-da!
00:38:59Ready!
00:39:00Nice wetsuit, Lawrence.
00:39:01I've always wanted to do a nature show.
00:39:03What's it called again?
00:39:04Swimming with dolphins?
00:39:05Swimming with turtles?
00:39:06Yes, something like that, yeah.
00:39:10Now, let's just put on your special air tanks.
00:39:13Right.
00:39:14And, er, on with the flippers.
00:39:17Oh, how baroque!
00:39:20All right, Lawrence.
00:39:21When you're ready...
00:39:22Whoa!
00:39:30Swimming with piranhas it is, then.
00:39:32Hmm.
00:39:32Your Royal Highness, I'm Andrew Marr from the BBC,
00:39:38here to interview you about your political opinions.
00:39:41Oh, ha-ha, yes. Very funny.
00:39:43I'm sorry?
00:39:44Very droll. Come on, take them off.
00:39:46What?
00:39:47Those big comedy ears. Come on.
00:39:50What?
00:39:50Ow!
00:39:51Oh!
00:39:53Great heavens, they're actually real.
00:39:56Yes.
00:39:57Big ears, big ears.
00:39:58I've always wanted to see that.
00:40:01Hmm.
00:40:12I'll get it, Victoria.
00:40:14Oh!
00:40:14Oh!
00:40:14Oh!
00:40:14Oh!
00:40:15Oh!
00:40:15Oh!
00:40:16Oh!
00:40:16Oh!
00:40:17Oh!
00:40:18Oh!
00:40:18Oh!
00:40:19Oh!
00:40:20Oh!
00:40:21Oh!
00:40:22Oh!
00:40:23Oh!
00:40:24Oh!
00:40:25Oh!
00:40:26Oh!
00:40:27Oh!
00:40:28Oh!
00:40:28Oh!
00:40:28Oh!
00:40:35Right, now the latest single-form posh spice!
00:40:39Traffic and travel here on Begum FM.
00:40:41Avoid the upstairs hall.
00:40:43There's a bit of a tailback, as Brooklyn's toy truck has spilt its load.
00:40:46Oh, dear.
00:40:52Oh, thanks, Phil.
00:40:54Anytime, David.
00:40:55Oh, Mr. Beckham.
00:41:10Yeah?
00:41:10We're here to build the extension.
00:41:12Oh, great. It's been getting ever so cramped.
00:41:14What with the new baby and all?
00:41:16Yeah, I can imagine.
00:41:16Darn it!
00:41:28Rats!
00:41:29Sir, are you all right?
00:41:39Mr. President!
00:41:41Slam dunk!
00:41:43Huh?
00:41:46Great to see you, too.
00:41:54Let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Chewbacca.
00:41:57This is, uh, Chew Little.
00:42:07So, tonight, we're talking about politics.
00:42:10Have people lost interest?
00:42:12Yes, you, madam, lady there in the green blouse.
00:42:15Yes, yes, you, madam, surrounded by the empty chairs.
00:42:20Is this a recording of Pop Rivals?
00:42:22No, it isn't.
00:42:23Is it not?
00:42:24Oh, bugger this, I'm off.
00:42:25Are we on the ball now?
00:42:52Only Roy came to beat.
00:42:54Go on, Roy, get him, kick him in the knee, slice him down.
00:42:59You know you want to.
00:43:00Oh, no, I'm not listening to you anymore.
00:43:04Kill him, Roy!
00:43:05Destroy him!
00:43:07Rip his head off and shove it up his bollocks!
00:43:10You're right!
00:43:11No need to retaliate, Michael.
00:43:21Absolutely.
00:43:22Let's buy him some flowers.
00:43:23Oh, nutch!
00:43:42I couldn't agree more, sir.
00:43:50So, Mr. Bushy, in conclusion, yes, we have no weapons.
00:43:54We have no weapons today!
00:43:57Ho-ho-ho!
00:43:58Stamp, please.
00:44:00Right, just pop it in the post.
00:44:04Air mail, of course.
00:44:05Will you accept a long-distance call?
00:44:12Of course.
00:44:14Fernando, it's me.
00:44:16I've sold all my clothes to raise money for charity,
00:44:20so we're going shopping.
00:44:22Si, senor.
00:44:22Take me to an enormous clothes shop.
00:44:30Perfect-a-mondo.
00:44:41Oh, now what have we here?
00:44:44It's smart, it's elegant, it's understated.
00:44:48So you can keep that, but I'll have everything else.
00:44:52Oh, Fernando, I'll be another ten minutes.
00:45:02Si, senor.
00:45:03Just going to get me hair done.
00:45:18Grumble, grumble.
00:45:19Moan, moan, moan.
00:45:21Wallop, slap it, punch.
00:45:23Sub, sub, sub.
00:45:24Boo-hoo.
00:45:25Ike.
00:45:25Shouty, shouty.
00:45:27Kiss, grope, snog.
00:45:28Gossip, gossip, gasp.
00:45:30And lift on a cliff back up!
00:45:34All right.
00:45:50Oh, we can't go away.
00:45:59Oh, man!
00:46:05Oh, man!
00:46:08Oh, yeah, Nani.
00:46:11Oh, yeah, Nani.
00:46:14Yeah, ow!
00:46:17Oh, wow!
00:46:20Aw, Nani.
00:46:23Oh!
00:46:25Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:46:27Oh, man!
00:46:29Yeah!
00:46:31Oh, man!
00:46:35Oh!
00:46:39Oh!
00:46:41Oh!
00:46:43Oh, man!
00:46:45Oh, no!
00:46:47Ma'am.
00:46:49Sir, are you all right?
00:47:16Sir, sir!
00:47:19Oh, hairy Moses.
00:47:29Make emphatic point.
00:47:31Crush opposition.
00:47:32Receive adulation.
00:47:34Hey!
00:47:36A nice one, Tone.
00:47:37That showed them useless Tory bastards.
00:47:39Yes, but they're not in point of fact.
00:47:41Here.
00:47:42Oh, I thought they were doing better than usual.
00:47:44Oi, heads up, fellas. Here they come now.
00:47:46Flippy Nora! Look at the teats on Ian Duncan Smith.
00:47:53You don't get many of them to the pound.
00:47:56They've been taking performance-enhancing drugs.
00:47:58Could anyone else smell coconut oil?
00:48:01Ooh!
00:48:02We're going to whoop your pasty asses now!
00:48:08I'm not afraid of you lot!
00:48:10Come on, Baldi, hit me with your bad shots!
00:48:12I've got abs of steel!
00:48:14I wasn't ready!
00:48:15I wasn't ready!
00:48:16I wasn't ready!
00:48:17Thanks for the card, Tony.
00:48:21That's okay.
00:48:22Now, Gordon, as you know, it's been a difficult two weeks.
00:48:27In fact, my position has become untenable.
00:48:28Oh!
00:48:29Yes, Gordon, your time has come.
00:48:30At last!
00:48:31I want you to be my wife.
00:48:32Ah!
00:48:33What?
00:48:34Do you think I'm that desperate to be a number ten?
00:48:36Oh!
00:48:37Tony, this is the least miserable day of my whole life.
00:48:40That's mine!
00:48:41Gordon!
00:48:42Gordon, you tight bugger!
00:48:43These are plastic!
00:48:44Oh!
00:48:45Ah!
00:48:46There we are!
00:48:47All done!
00:48:48Now, all we need is a B-list celebrity to turn the lights on!
00:48:51Will do!
00:48:52This is the most miserable day of my whole life!
00:48:54What?
00:48:55Do you think I'm that desperate to be a number ten?
00:48:57Tony, this is the least miserable day of my whole life!
00:49:00Oh!
00:49:01Oh!
00:49:02Tony, this is the least miserable day of my whole life!
00:49:05Oh!
00:49:06That's mine!
00:49:07Gordon, you tight bugger!
00:49:08These are plastic!
00:49:09Oh!
00:49:10Ah!
00:49:11This tree is going to be a lovely surprise for Elton!
00:49:15I so totally hope he likes it!
00:49:17Ta-da!
00:49:19Ah!
00:49:20That bitch of a tree is wearing my outfit!
00:49:23Never mind, love!
00:49:25Oh!
00:49:26I've shed!
00:49:27Now that's gotta hurt!
00:49:29Good job it's not mistletoe!
00:49:31Ooh!
00:49:36How's the feeding going?
00:49:38Oh, she's been an absolute bugger!
00:49:40Now come on!
00:49:41Here comes the singer into the Versace shop!
00:49:45Open wide!
00:49:46I give up!
00:49:49Ho, ho, ho!
00:49:50I'm coming to town!
00:49:51Ooh!
00:49:52Oh no, Trini!
00:49:53Look what he's wearing!
00:49:54That's so lost!
00:49:55Yeah, Susanna!
00:49:56Santa darling, I don't know how to break this to you, but red is not your colour!
00:49:57That complexion is screaming out for pastels!
00:49:58Mmm!
00:49:59Mmm!
00:50:00Mmm!
00:50:01Mmm!
00:50:02Now, accessorize!
00:50:03Get rid of this horrid old sack!
00:50:04And replace it with this much larger sack full of our books!
00:50:06Now, off you go!
00:50:07Not so fast, Rudolph!
00:50:08Mmm!
00:50:09Mmm!
00:50:10Mmm!
00:50:11Mmm!
00:50:12Mmm!
00:50:13Mmm!
00:50:14Mmm!
00:50:15Mmm!
00:50:16Mmm!
00:50:17Perfect!
00:50:18Mmm!
00:50:19Mr. Hussain, we've found evidence of your germ warfare capability!
00:50:21Impossible!
00:50:22Take a look for yourself!
00:50:23Infect the West!
00:50:24Infect the West!
00:50:25Infect the West!
00:50:26Infect the West!
00:50:27Infect the West!
00:50:28Infect the West!
00:50:29Infect the West!
00:50:30Shhh, guys!
00:50:31Plan B!
00:50:32I don't know what you're talking about!
00:50:35Check again!
00:50:36Love and peace!
00:50:37No!
00:50:38No!
00:50:39No!
00:50:40No!
00:50:41No!
00:50:42No!
00:50:43No!
00:50:44No!
00:50:45No!
00:50:46No!
00:50:47No!
00:50:48No!
00:50:49No!
00:50:50No!
00:50:51No!
00:50:52No!
00:50:53No!
00:50:54No!
00:50:55No!
00:50:56No!
00:50:57No!
00:50:58No!
00:50:59No!
00:51:00No!
00:51:01No!
00:51:02Oh, sorry, Mr. Hussein, our mistake!
00:51:03Mr. Hussein, our mistake!
00:51:05It's just one of those 24 hour viruses!
00:51:06You see, dad, I told you someone's been stealing my hair?
00:51:09But why? Who would want to do a thing like that?
00:51:13Morning, all!
00:51:14What? What?
00:51:21Once again, an enjoyable office party has been spoiled
00:51:24by the silly behaviour of one individual.
00:51:27Come on, own up. Who did this?
00:51:31I think we have our culprit.
00:51:34Now, I'll be looking for that.
00:51:36That's my latest response to the firefighters, actually, Tone.
00:51:39Oh, good work, John.
00:51:42Darling, what a night.
00:51:45You're insetable.
00:51:51Competition time now. It's goal celebration of the month.
00:51:54Take your pick from these three beauties.
00:52:06Oh, yeah. Oh.
00:52:08Oh, oh, yeah.
00:52:09Oh, oh, yeah.
00:52:21Oh.
00:52:25Did you score two?
00:52:26No, I've just been kicked by Roy Keane!
00:52:29Thank you!
00:52:36Good night.
00:52:41Oh.
00:52:42Oh, Charles, how was the Lib Dem office party?
00:52:44I'll let you know when we've had it.
00:52:46Uh, Scott on the rocks?
00:52:48You certainly are.
00:52:49That's it. That's f***ing enough.
00:52:51We've got too many f***ing cats and f***ing dogs.
00:52:53What's that pink fluffy thing?
00:52:54I'm your daughter.
00:52:55Oh, right.
00:52:56Well, one of these f***ing pets has got to go.
00:52:57We can't get rid of Lola.
00:52:58She's like one of the f***ing family.
00:52:59Woof, f***ing woof.
00:53:00I see what you f***ing mean.
00:53:01Good girl.
00:53:02Oh.
00:53:03Yeah, that's f***ing enough. We've got too many f***ing cats and f***ing dogs.
00:53:08What's that pink fluffy thing?
00:53:10I'm your daughter.
00:53:12Oh, right. Well, one of these f***ing pets has got to go.
00:53:16We can't get rid of Lola. She's like one of the f***ing family.
00:53:19Woof, f***ing woof.
00:53:21I see what you f***ing mean.
00:53:26Good girl.
00:53:33We had some great times together. We were inseparable.
00:53:39I'm not sure that I'd even recognise him now.
00:53:43George!
00:53:44Liver!
00:53:45How are you doing?
00:53:48Oh, you know.
00:53:51Hey, hey, do you remember back in the 70s?
00:53:54Um, no.
00:53:56No, me neither.
00:54:01Fancy a pint?
00:54:02Ah, go on, then.
00:54:14Silent night!
00:54:18Holy shite.
00:54:21Ooh.
00:54:29Ha, ha, ha!
00:54:30Behold the veritable treasure trove.
00:54:32Of Lord of the Rings merchandise.
00:54:36Potter!
00:54:36Not so fast, Gandalf.
00:54:38This Christmas belongs to me.
00:54:41Cassius Inus!
00:54:43That's more like it.
00:54:45I think not.
00:54:47Oh, no.
00:54:49Tackus, crapus!
00:54:51Now, look, everything's broken.
00:55:09Whoops!
00:55:10That's not supposed to happen until boxing, then.
00:55:13Super soldier, can he fire it?
00:55:21Super soldier, no, he can't!
00:55:26Hi, Timmy.
00:55:28Are you ready to have a pop at the Iraqis?
00:55:30I can't, Sid.
00:55:31I'm all clogged up.
00:55:32No-one told me there'd be sand in the desert.
00:55:34I don't feel very well either, Sid.
00:55:36I'm short-sighted.
00:55:38Never mind.
00:55:39I'll make do with trusty old Mike the Machine Gum.
00:55:43Sorry, Sid, I've melted.
00:55:45This has never happened to me before.
00:55:48Oh, well.
00:55:49Lucky we sold Saddam all his equipment.
00:55:53No useless British rubbish!
00:55:55There's no need for that.
00:55:58Woo-hoo!
00:56:02Say, have you got the number for Pop the Builder?
00:56:05Ian, are the Conservatives not having an office party this year?
00:56:17Yes.
00:56:18This is it.
00:56:23Oh, come on, General.
00:56:25What is it?
00:56:27It's a book, ain't it?
00:56:29Now, no opening till tomorrow, sir.
00:56:32I promise.
00:56:33Okay.
00:56:34I love Christmas.
00:56:39General, the flashy warning thing's gone off.
00:56:42General?
00:56:43General!
00:56:48Warning.
00:56:49Potential hostile inbound.
00:56:50Request action.
00:56:51Okay, George.
00:56:52Don't panic.
00:56:54Now, what is it Dad always used to say?
00:56:57Son, don't ever, ever, ever,
00:57:02press the red button.
00:57:05There's something about pressing the red button.
00:57:11Ho, ho, ho!
00:57:12Ho, ho, ho!
00:57:13Ho, ho!
00:57:14Ho, ho!
00:57:17Sir, what in God's name is...
00:57:19Can you smell roast venison?
00:57:21Oh!
00:57:22Look, General.
00:57:23I'm a lion.
00:57:24Move!
00:57:25Move!
00:57:26That's uncanny, sir.
00:57:27Oh, it's great to be back in Switzerland.
00:57:30Yeah, so beautiful.
00:57:31Let the buggers ban fox hunting in England.
00:57:33They won't spoil our fun.
00:57:38Release the fox.
00:57:40Tally-ho!
00:57:44Hello!
00:57:45Let the buggers ban fox-hunting in England. They won't spoil our fun.
00:57:52Release the fox!
00:58:01Tally-ho!
00:58:02Oh, well done, Brooklyn. You've finished opening all your presents. From last Christmas.
00:58:18Now, this year, we've decided to give you just one present.
00:58:22Oh?
00:58:23Don't worry. It's the most expensive thing we could think of.
00:58:26Oh, wow! It's Ronaldo!
00:58:33Hola!
00:58:34Now, he costs 45 million quid, so make sure you don't break...
00:58:37Ah!
00:58:38Oh!
00:58:39Oh, he's broke, dude.
00:58:41Revery!
00:58:42Oh, honestly, David, bloody foreign rubbish.
00:58:44Told you we should've got in my little Owen.
00:58:47Hospital Radio Travel News!
00:58:52Bad news if you're en route to the operating theatre. There's a huge tailback with trolleys backing up as far as the orthopaedic ward.
00:58:59Outside casualty reports coming in of a nasty pileup, the result of, um, well, a nasty pileup, actually.
00:59:05And we're just hearing a bedpan has spilled its load near the transplant unit, so give that area a miss.
00:59:11And if you're passing surgery, watch out for the flying eye.
00:59:26I cannot overemphasise how important this matter is.
00:59:30Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.
00:59:36John, do you mind?
00:59:37Oh, sorry, Tom. Bit peckish.
00:59:39Well, carry on!
00:59:41Right.
00:59:42The future of democracy is now at stake.
00:59:46I was not denying it. The chips are down!
00:59:48Mmm, chips. Ooh, tasty.
00:59:51When I think of what they're doing, I scream with rage.
00:59:53Oh, my God.
00:59:55If we're going to act, let us act now.
00:59:58Look, lettuce?
00:59:59What do you think, John?
01:00:01No lettuce for me, thanks.
01:00:02Um, I'm sorry.
01:00:04Come on! Let's be having it!
01:00:05No, no, no, John, John, stop it!
01:00:07Oh, get in there!
01:00:09Ah, not again.
01:00:10Well, this is it, eh, boss? The last ever brookie.
01:00:19Have you got something special lined up for us, or what?
01:00:22No, no, nothing special.
01:00:23Just treat it like an ordinary run-of-the-mill episode.
01:00:26And cue the lesbian dinosaur.
01:00:30I love you, Beth.
01:00:32Array, come on, we did this last week.
01:00:37And that?
01:00:40And this and all.
01:00:41It's boring.
01:00:44Hang on.
01:00:45A car with all four wheels.
01:00:47I've never seen that before.
01:01:06I think we're gaining on him.
01:01:08It's only at home.
01:01:14Name?
01:01:15Yuri Geller.
01:01:16Enter decontamination unit.
01:01:18Oh, hi, Yuri.
01:01:19I knew you were going to say that.
01:01:20How are you doing?
01:01:21I'm just fine, but I have a slight...
01:01:24Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
01:01:25You!
01:01:26Gold!
01:01:27Oh!
01:01:28Jam alert!
01:01:29Jam alert!
01:01:30Jam alert!
01:01:31Jam!
01:01:32Jam!
01:01:33Jam!
01:01:34Germ!
01:01:35There's a germ in my house.
01:01:37Help!
01:01:38Help!
01:01:39Oh!
01:01:40Oh!
01:01:41Oh!
01:01:42Oh!
01:01:43I'm just fine, but I have a slight...
01:01:45Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
01:01:46You!
01:01:47Cold!
01:01:48Oh!
01:01:49Oh!
01:01:50Oh!
01:01:51Oh!
01:01:52Oh!
01:01:53Oh!
01:01:54Oh!
01:01:55Oh!
01:01:57Oh!
01:01:58Jag...
01:01:59Oh!
01:02:00Oh!
01:02:01Michael! Michael is just a little germ. It's a living creature, like you and me.
01:02:06Look, it's more scared than you are.
01:02:11Oh, hey, he's cute.
01:02:14Germ, the two of us can now be friends.
01:02:20Hey, Michael, it's nothing to be afraid of.
01:02:23Yeah, you're right, Yuri.
01:02:25Oh, oh, achoo!
01:02:28Face alert! Face alert! Sector four!
01:02:31I knew that was going to happen.
01:02:35Ooh!
01:02:37Tom-dee-tom-dee-tom!
01:02:40Ooh!
01:02:43Tom-dee-tom-dee-tom!
01:02:55Hello, boss.
01:02:56Ah, right. How did your anger therapy session go?
01:02:59It's good. I enjoyed it. I think it really helped.
01:03:07Same time next week, mate.
01:03:18Well, to be frank, I'm a little nervous.
01:03:21I'm not even sure if I'll recognise him.
01:03:23I mean, I haven't seen him for over 30 years.
01:03:26Neil!
01:03:29Moon!
01:03:31Oh, how you been?
01:03:33Oh, fine, fine. How you been?
01:03:36Fine!
01:03:40Say, have you still got my flag?
01:03:43No.
01:03:44No.
01:03:48Do you see much of, um, that other guy?
01:03:52Oh, you mean Buzz?
01:03:53Buzz!
01:03:54Yeah, no.
01:03:56No.
01:03:57No.
01:04:08We're closing in! Almost got him!
01:04:18Oof!
01:04:18At least we're both all right here, Camilla.
01:04:31Camilla?
01:04:32Oh, mighty ruler of Iraq. What a great honour it is to be your decoy, in case the evil West tries to kill you.
01:04:48Oh, no, surely I am your decoy.
01:04:49Oh, no, surely I am your decoy.
01:04:51You're not the real Saddam?
01:04:52No. I'm a lookalike, too.
01:04:54Oh, mighty ruler, what a privilege it would be to die in your place.
01:04:58Save it, buddy. It's not really him.
01:05:00So it's you, oh, mighty ruler?
01:05:03No, it's him.
01:05:05It's not me.
01:05:06Well, it's certainly not him.
01:05:08Oh, what a ridiculous moustache!
01:05:10Actually, I am the real Saddam.
01:05:15Just kidding.
01:05:16No, I really am.
01:05:19No, I'm not.
01:05:20No, I am.
01:05:22Not really.
01:05:23Okay, which one of you is Saddam Hussein?
01:05:28It's him.
01:05:29Him.
01:05:29Him.
01:05:30Him.
01:05:30Him.
01:05:30Him.
01:05:31Him.
01:05:31Him.
01:05:32Him.
01:05:32Not me.
01:05:34Who's the Infidel again?
01:05:37Me, too.
01:05:42Good news, sir. We think we might have Saddam, or at least one of his lookalikes.
01:05:47Fooled you, I'm not the real Bush. My dad is.
01:05:53Oh, Harry Moses.
01:05:54Ah.
01:06:23Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:25Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:26Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:27Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:29Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:30Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:31Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:32Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:33Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:34Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:35Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:36Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:37Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:38Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:39Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:40Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:41Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:42Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:43Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:44Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:45Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:46Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:47Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:48Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:49Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:50Oh, Harry Moses.
01:06:51Oh, Harry Moses.
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