The Achievement Trap: Business Success and Work-Life Balance Strategies with Cindy Van Eeckhout

Workforce Alchemy

The Achievement Trap: Business Success and Work-Life Balance Strategies with Cindy Van Eeckhout  What if your biggest wins left you feeling empty, overwhelmed, or disconnected?  In this conversation, Cindy Van Eeckhout—founder of Alegria Coaching and creator of the Joy of Life Method—shares her journey of redefining success. She explains how high achievers can break free from perfectionism, avoid burnout, and create balance between ambition and well-being.  You’ll learn practical strategies to set boundaries, recharge through intentional rest, and bring more presence into your personal and professional life. If you’ve ever felt like success on paper doesn’t equal fulfillment in reality, this discussion is for you.  Takeaways  High achievers often carry stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion.  Perfectionism and weak boundaries disconnect you emotionally.  Success doesn’t guarantee fulfillment.  Rest is not a weakness—it’s essential for productivity.  Self-care fuels long-term achievement and happiness.  Mindfulness helps reduce stress and fosters presence.  Discipline in life matters as much as discipline in work.  Burnout isn’t a badge of honor.  Intentional breaks boost creativity and focus.  Reconnecting with others begins with reconnecting with yourself.  Chapters  00:00 The Journey to Joy and Balance 02:53 The Emotional Toll of Success 04:57 Breaking Free from Ambition's Trap 09:17 The Cost of Sacrifice 13:24 Untangling Identity from Productivity 17:24 Reframing Rest as a Strength 25:01 The Power of Presence and Connection  Learn More with Workforce Alchemy  Discover how to build stronger teams, avoid burnout, and increase workplace value:  https://www.WorkforceAlchemy.com  About This Channel:  The Mason Duchatschek Show brings you conversations with bestselling authors, CEOs, and thought leaders on leadership, culture, and performance. Each episode is designed to help you grow as a leader while building a thriving workplace.  Subscribe for More:  If you want actionable insights on leadership, employee engagement, and business growth—subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode.  Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@WorkforceAlchemist?sub_confirmation=1  Recommended Playlists:  ▶ The Mason Duchatschek Show (Full Episodes): https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaGSQcRH4ChwjjPLD9FN6r2IvuBp5PPbg  ▶ Workforce Strategy & Career Growth: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaGSQcRH4ChxEhB1iyTbn7NcBO2SoaFA4  ▶ Workforce Alchemy Shorts: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaGSQcRH4ChzMYq5VrcOCbnUczXjqClCS  Follow Us on Social:  📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ReverseRiskConsulting  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/workforcealchemy/  🐦 Twitter / X: https://x.com/WorkAlchemist  🎥 Rumble: https://rumble.com/user/WorkforceAlchemy  📼 Dailymotion: https://www.dailymotion.com/WorkforceAlchemy  📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WorkforceAlchemist  #Mindfulness #WorkLifeBalance #Burnout #Overwhelm #StressReduction

Transcript

00:00What if the key to lasting success wasn't pushing harder, but feeling better?

00:05Today's guest, Cindy von Eckhout, is the founder of Alegria Coaching and creator of the Joy of Life Method,

00:13a transformational approach that blends smart business strategy with self-care, energy management, and inner alignment.

00:20With a master's in business engineering, over two decades of entrepreneurial experience,

00:24and four thriving businesses built alongside her husband, all while raising two sons,

00:30Cindy doesn't just teach balance, she lives it.

00:33Her mission? To help people create more clarity, focus, and energy so they can enjoy more freedom, fulfillment, and joy in both business and life.

00:41Whether she's speaking on leadership, time freedom, or redefining success without burnout,

00:46Cindy brings grounded wisdom, uplifting energy, and a message that resonates long after the interview ends.

00:52Cindy, welcome to the show. Can't wait to dive into this.

00:55Thank you, Mason. What a beautiful introduction. So thank you for having me. I'm so grateful.

01:00And yes, let's dive into this beautiful conversation.

01:03So you've worked with so many high achievers.

01:06What's the emotional toll success has taken on them that most people don't see from the outside?

01:12The emotional toll in general with the high achievers I work with, it's very clear.

01:16It's like stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, feeling guilty and unfulfilled.

01:20It's coming every time back again. And why?

01:24Because in general, the high achievers that I work with, they don't have work-life balance.

01:28So they are in balance there.

01:30They lack self-care and they struggle with perfectionism.

01:34And when they struggle with perfectionism, in general, they like to control things and they don't like to delegate.

01:39So all these things make that they are like completely disconnected from joy and unfulfillment.

01:44So how does this translate in day-to-day life?

01:48You can see it easily because in general, they don't have boundaries or not a lot.

01:53They are most often people-pleasers.

01:55They have like endless to-do lists.

01:57They have meetings back-to-back.

02:00They work late during the nights, during the weekends.

02:04They don't have a lot of time to spend with their family.

02:07And at the end, their energy is low and they feel quite guilty about all of this.

02:13So this is the emotional cost that they are paying.

02:15And it's sad because it doesn't need to be like that.

02:19And if you want to be successful, but you are not working on your self-care and on your boundaries, it will lead to burnout.

02:26So this is where I step in and help them to balance things back again because it is not worth it.

02:33It is really not worth it.

02:35So can you tell us about a moment in your own life or one of your clients' lives where you or they realize that, hey, I'm succeeding on paper, but I'm not happy.

02:45And what changed after that?

02:47If you like, I'll share something of my own life just to tell it is something that is universal.

02:53And we all get to these different phases.

02:55For more than 20 years, I'm living here in the south of France with my husband and we created different companies and they're all heart-led businesses.

03:02And in 2022, we had like having it all.

03:06After COVID 2020, very challenging for us.

03:09But in 2022, everything went really well.

03:11So in the outside world, we were very successful.

03:14It was very shiny.

03:15We were happy as well because we were so happy that everything thrived again.

03:19But to be very honest, at the inside, we felt like we were completely exhausted, overwhelmed.

03:25Because we had three businesses just with two persons.

03:27So we're doing so many things.

03:29And at the end, it wasn't aligned with the joy.

03:32And the joy was for us so critical because it's what fueled us.

03:36And this is, as I told you in the beginning as well, joy.

03:39The Spanish word of joy is alegria.

03:41And alegria is a word that has been following us through all our companies.

03:45So alegria for us is key.

03:46Joy and flight is so key.

03:47But we weren't fueled anymore with that.

03:50So for me, that shiny success was so great.

03:54But we decided at that time, okay, is this what we want to do?

03:58And we said no.

03:59So we made quite a bold decision to say like, okay, we just stopped two of the three businesses.

04:03We focused on one that we still have.

04:06And then we created one that was completely aligned again with this joy.

04:09And this breakdown of getting completely overwhelmed and exhausted became my breakthrough.

04:15And this is also the start of Alegria Coaching.

04:17And this is where I created the Joy of Life Method to, again, empower, help other women

04:23and businesswomen who have all these different hats to create more time, freedom, and energy

04:28to do really what they love without sacrificing success.

04:31So this is one thing that I experienced.

04:34Okay.

04:34So I know this probably happens a lot for you.

04:37And I'm sure that a lot of people listening are going to be able to relate to this.

04:40But what do you say to someone who feels trapped by their own ambition?

04:44Like they've built a life that they can't escape, even though it's draining them.

04:48What I would say is, first of all, it's slowed down.

04:51It's really slowed down.

04:53Realign again and give yourself the permission to pause.

04:56And this is an important one because if we talk about pause and about rest, if we talk

05:01in business life about rest, it's like, oh my gosh, it's not like a good word to say.

05:06But I can tell you, rest for me, it is a requirement.

05:10And it is not just a reward after you've given and given and given and doing so many things.

05:14So it is so important to work on that rest.

05:18And why, Mason?

05:19Because we all know if you don't have these little times and blocks of rest in your life,

05:25whatever it is with sports, whatever it's with mindfulness, with other things, it will

05:29lead to burnout.

05:30And then your body, even though your body is very strong and it's quite resilient, you

05:37can have lots of stress, lots of work.

05:39But after a certain time, your body will help you.

05:42If you don't slow down anyway, your body will fall down.

05:45This is what I say.

05:45If you don't slow down, you will fall down.

05:47Because this is what's happened if you don't re-energize yourself back again.

05:52So here's a couple of questions for you, because I'm thinking about myself here.

05:55And I think that there's probably other people listening or watching or thinking the same

05:59thing.

05:59But one of the things that I struggle with is that I do run, I bike, I do find ways to,

06:05I have outlets to let off steam.

06:07But there are some times where it's easy to say, oh, just rest or I'll just take a break.

06:12But the reality of it is, I can speak for myself, I'm so committed to my goals and so committed

06:17to the outcomes that it's very difficult for me to enjoy time off when I know I've got responsibility

06:24and things that need to be taken care of.

06:26So yes, I can stop, I can pause, I can rest.

06:29But that's not really that restful for me sometimes, because I have the sense of responsibility

06:34and excitement about what I do.

06:37So how do you coach or how do you guide someone through that?

06:39Because it's easy to say, oh, I'll just take a rest or just take a stop.

06:42But I can take a rest and take a stop.

06:44But I'm not going to say that I'm always going to enjoy that time off because it's,

06:48I have a conscience about what I'm not handling.

06:52And I'm certain that I'm not the only one that feels that way.

06:55You probably have all of your clients say that.

06:57What are your thoughts there?

06:59But first of all, I do understand what you're telling.

07:02And we're all human beings.

07:03So it happens to everybody.

07:04It's not because I'm saying it and I'm praying it that I can do it every time as good as I want it.

07:09But that's okay.

07:10Being already aware and the fact that you say like, I want it, but sometimes my conscience is somewhere else.

07:15It's because you're passionate.

07:17You are passionate about what you're doing.

07:18And so not only are you passionate, you really want to achieve your goals.

07:22And that is great.

07:23It is this ambition that you have in yourself.

07:26The only thing where the limiting belief sometimes can be is like, I can't have it all.

07:31I can't have my professional success and my personal happiness together.

07:34It all starts with mindfulness.

07:36And if you are aware, like, oh my gosh, I'm not enjoying this moment here because I know all the things I have to do.

07:41It's just be aware of it and just create more mindfulness.

07:45And mindfulness means like creating intentional awareness about your emotions, your thoughts, and your environment.

07:52If you work on this mindfulness saying like, okay, I know I have things to do.

07:56I know I have quite some to-do lists, but this is in the future.

08:00But now I decide, and this is a decision.

08:02It's a decision to decide.

08:04I want to be mindful, whatever, for one minute, two minutes, five minutes, you put your clock and say, I'm just going to close my eyes.

08:11I'm going to breathe and be present in the moment.

08:13And this is a decision.

08:14And it's a decision in the now and not in the future.

08:17And this is the only way you can really catch yourself back again in the moments that it's challenging.

08:24And if there is a challenging day, because we all have challenging days as entrepreneurs, if there is a challenging day, then you can say, okay, don't be too hard on yourself and allow it.

08:32You can allow it that it happens.

08:35But be aware and be mindful intentionally.

08:38This is the most important tip I can give there.

08:41Because, like, I know that many high performers and achievers, they sacrifice their health.

08:46They sacrifice time with their family and even joy to get ahead.

08:50But what's the real cost of that sacrifice?

08:52And can it even be reversed?

08:54No.

08:55It is a simple answer.

08:56You can't reverse it.

08:58And when you were telling you were talking about health, about family, about time that you lose, these are all things you can't buy.

09:04You just can't buy them.

09:05So, it is something that you have to create.

09:08And while you have to create it, it is something you have to do on a daily basis if this is important for you.

09:15And again, there, it's all around your decision.

09:19Whatever is important for you, you have to make a choice.

09:24And Tony Robbins says it beautifully.

09:26In life, it's all about decision.

09:27And when you take the decision, it's all about if you are going to work on it or not.

09:34And what I was going to say is more like, it's the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

09:40Discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons.

09:43And this is reality.

09:45And whatever it is, if it's your health, if it's your family, do know you cannot reverse it, but you can make your decision.

09:51And you can make the decision to also have the discipline to do it.

09:54And I know you're a big supporter, but there's a discipline in there.

09:58And even though now it's not a discipline anymore because you're doing it, it's your habit, it's your identity, you love it.

10:03So, this is why you're doing it without even thinking about it.

10:06But if there are things that are new for you, for me, for everybody, just take the decision and make it a daily habit.

10:12That's an interesting distinction to me because you talked about the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

10:17And I know that people have missed birthdays, they've missed school plays, they've missed anniversaries.

10:21And there is a pain of regret there.

10:23And the pain of discipline, like, hey, I need to do my work.

10:27And if I don't do my work, I feel guilty.

10:28But what I'm hearing from you is saying, treat your personal responsibilities as your work responsibilities and discipline yourself to make that a priority as well.

10:38Is that correct?

10:39Correct.

10:40This is like whatever is the planning for your professional life, you can have a planning for your personal life.

10:45And you're talking about family, birthdays, anniversary, whatever.

10:48These are things you know a lot in advance.

10:51So, again, it's a decision.

10:53Because the pain of discipline is this way.

10:57And like, hey, if I don't do this work-wise, I'm going to experience pain.

11:02So I have discipline with what I'm going to handle work-wise.

11:04The pain of regret, if I go along that path, is I miss the birthdays, I miss the parties, I miss the important family things.

11:10And there are two opposite directions.

11:12And what you're suggesting, if I understand correctly, is combine those and make both a priority and discipline yourself to be balanced in both areas.

11:20Right.

11:21You can have, like, discipline and regret on both sides.

11:24But when I say you have to make a decision, it's like, is this birthday a priority for me?

11:29And it's very simple.

11:30If it's a priority, you plan it and you make it a non-negotiable.

11:33If it's important, I take a decision, I plan it, I make it a non-negotiable.

11:37And both of them, professionally and privately, you make it a non-negotiable there.

11:42And then you don't have to regret one or another.

11:44And it's great to work on your goals for work.

11:47But it's also very important to have the things that are important for your personal life.

11:52Because these are the things, in general, you can never have it back.

11:56There were some things, professionally, in general, you can catch up later.

11:59Even though it's not always possible.

12:01But it's really planning and make it a non-negotiable on both sides.

12:06This is a little bit what I would say.

12:08So you mentioned the magic word identity.

12:11And I know that burnout is often seen as a badge of honor in high-pressure environments.

12:17How do you help people untangle their identity from their productivity?

12:21The first thing you were telling, like, burnout is like a badge of honor.

12:25I'll start with that.

12:26And then I'll start a little bit with the identity of productivity.

12:28Because there are two different ballgames there.

12:31And very, very important ones.

12:33Because so many people believe that.

12:35And when we talk about identity and belief, for me, this is a complete limiting belief.

12:40And what you do with limiting beliefs, it's quite simple.

12:43You just ask yourself, where is it coming from?

12:45Where is this limiting belief coming from?

12:47Then you choose a more empowering belief.

12:49And then you try it.

12:50This is one thing.

12:51And this is about the limiting belief of burnout.

12:54Do you really think that the price of success needs to be burnout?

13:01Do you really think it's what you need?

13:03And can you give yourself a more empowering belief?

13:06Like saying, okay, I prefer to lead with more energy.

13:09I prefer to lead and be more calm.

13:11I prefer to lead in a different way.

13:13So having that said, so for me, this is very important to distinguish and know, especially

13:17when we're talking about the hustle culture, this is all about limiting beliefs.

13:21Then we go back to the productivity.

13:25And again, with talking about burnout, hustle culture and so on, a simple empowering belief

13:31that I use mostly with my clients, it's the 80-20 rule.

13:35It's a Pareto principle.

13:36Because we know that 80% of the results, they come from 20% of our actions.

13:42And this can be also a more empowering belief that you know that you only have to focus on

13:4620%, not on the 80%, but you will focus on the 20% that will give you the 80% of the

13:53results.

13:53So coming back to productivity, and there's also an interesting misconception sometimes.

13:59Productivity, it's not the same as busyness.

14:02Because busyness, it is different.

14:04And there are a lot of people, they're making a mistake.

14:07They're like, okay, I had like a very big day today.

14:10I worked from six until very late in the evening.

14:13But it's not because you worked that late that you are productive.

14:16So for me, there, how can I help there?

14:19For me, the first, the most important thing is clarity.

14:22What is the most important for you?

14:24For you, for your company, for your job, for your team, for everybody.

14:27Clarity is key.

14:28Once you get this clarity, what I do then is I help my clients to identify the top three

14:34priorities.

14:35And that's very easy.

14:36You say, while this is important, what are my top three priorities?

14:40They should be high impact, high revenue and income activities.

14:45It needs to be critical, urgent, and important.

14:48And if you know already all this, then you know what you have to do.

14:51Another thing that is important there is try to delegate.

14:54And especially in these times now with AI, you can automate so many things.

14:59So delegate, automate, and dump.

15:01There are so many things you don't have to do.

15:03Have your boundaries and dump or give it to somebody else because you are doing busyness

15:08and you're focusing on the 80% that only will give you the 20% of results.

15:12So, and if you all did this, then the last part is plan.

15:16Plan the things because if you don't plan it, if you don't put it in your calendar, whatever

15:20are things that are important for your professional life and your personal life, you won't do it.

15:24You just won't do it.

15:25You plan it.

15:25You track it.

15:26And then at the end of the day, just check it out.

15:29Did it work well?

15:30And there again, don't be hard on yourself.

15:33We know challenges will come.

15:34And if there is like a crazy day, then you just focus on the top one.

15:38This is my top one thing that I want to do today and be proud of that.

15:42And then tomorrow is another day.

15:44But it's only a fact of focus, energy, and clarity.

15:48And if you do that, I can guarantee you your days will shift in a more positive way.

15:52So what's one belief about success that you had to let go of in order to protect your

16:00energy and your joy?

16:02My personal one, it's what I was telling in the beginning in my story.

16:07It's like, for me, that you don't have to sacrifice your well-being to be successful.

16:13That was, for me, a big game changer.

16:15My limiting belief there was that in the generation of my father and my father, my parents in general,

16:22it was like, you have to work hard.

16:24Money's not falling out of the sky.

16:26So it was like pushing, pushing, pushing.

16:27This is the idea that I had.

16:29So it was normal for me that I had less and less time for myself.

16:33And I was giving, and with all the different heads, giving to everybody.

16:37And at the end of the day, I didn't have any time for myself anymore.

16:41And I felt that the energy was going lower, lower, lower.

16:44And at the end, you just don't feel happy anymore.

16:46And you don't feel aligned.

16:48So what I can tell there is, first of all, self-care isn't selfish.

16:53This is what I learned.

16:54So if you talk about well-being, one of the first things I say to my clients is,

16:58prioritize self-care.

16:59It isn't selfish.

17:00And if you work on your well-being and your self-care, you will gain in productivity,

17:04you will gain in creativity, and you will gain in clarity and energy.

17:08And for me, it is so worth it.

17:11And it helps you on the long run to have this success that is aligned with the joy in your

17:17day-to-day life.

17:18So this, what you're saying sounds magical and wonderful, but the reality to a lot of

17:24folks is that slowing down sometimes feels like it feels like, even though it may not

17:30be reality, sometimes it feels like when you slow down, you're falling behind.

17:34So do you have any tips about how to reframe rest or reframe boundaries and presence as

17:41strengths so that you don't feel like it's weakness?

17:44Completely.

17:45First of all, I'd like to say that slowing down is not a weakness.

17:49I do repeat, it's not a weakness for me.

17:50It's a leadership strength.

17:52And I said in the beginning as well, if you don't slow down, you will fall down.

17:56And it is your body who will really put you down.

17:59Anyway, having this, if you talk about trust, you talk about boundaries and presence.

18:03So rest, like I said already, it is not a reward, it's a requirement.

18:07And it is so important.

18:10And you can just feel it if you don't have the energy anymore, because we talked about

18:15if the cup is empty, you don't function well.

18:18You are not so productive.

18:19You are not really great, whatever it's in meetings.

18:22This rest, see it as something very positive that will help you, that will rely on you and

18:27that will boost your energy.

18:28When you talk about boundaries, it's a little bit the same.

18:30And the boundaries, and also there it's important when you have boundaries, saying no, doesn't

18:35mean saying no to everybody.

18:36It doesn't mean saying no to help other people.

18:39It's just be crystal clear what you want, what you don't want.

18:43And if you help somebody in general, you can help them to grow.

18:47But it doesn't mean you do all the work.

18:50It's helping.

18:51And that's already a big, big boundary.

18:53And this boundary, it will help you again to, it's in one way slowing down, but it will

19:01accelerate everything.

19:02So it's not slowing down, but it's saying no to lots of things and saying yes to the

19:06things that are important.

19:07And then the last part, when you were telling about the presence, and this is all again

19:11concerning mindfulness.

19:13And this was the mindfulness that you're saying, oh, but it's so complicated sometimes and

19:16challenging to do in real world and real life.

19:18It is true.

19:20It is true.

19:21I will give you some tips, Mason.

19:24I talked to her already and I know you do it.

19:26I'll take her.

19:26I'll give some tips for you and for your audience, because we know this morning ritual, and it

19:31sounds sometimes a little bit fluffy, but I can tell you there's lots of studies about

19:35it that really help and that shows that it helps.

19:38But for me, if you do the morning rituals, there are three magic ingredients.

19:43It's meditation, it's breathing, and it's gratefulness.

19:46And it seems fluffy.

19:47And if you combine, you can do a meditation where you have gratefulness and breathing.

19:50You can combine it.

19:51You take one minute, five minutes, 10 minutes.

19:53There's so many meditations online that you can find.

19:57But it is shown that if you do that, it changes everything.

20:01And 10 minutes of mindfulness a day, it will reduce your stress with 40%.

20:06This is studies that shows it.

20:08So apart from that, what is another thing that you can do?

20:11I said it already also, prioritize what matters most, but not only for your job, also for you.

20:16And then a practical thing during the day, because there is sometimes where it becomes

20:21more challenging.

20:21You start well in the morning.

20:23You say, okay, I did my mindfulness, my ritual, my daily morning ritual.

20:27I had even some physical activities.

20:29And if you do that, of course, you work on your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual

20:33well-being.

20:33It's great.

20:34But during the day, some small tips, three tips.

20:37The first one, have this intentional little breaks during the day.

20:41And it's like even one minute of breathing.

20:44You plan it, but put it in your calendar.

20:46You have like a 10 o'clock at noon, four, whatever.

20:49You just sit.

20:50If you can go outside, if you have nature outside where you work, it's even better.

20:54But take this one, two, three minutes.

20:58Intentional.

20:58I can tell you it changes everything because you can be angry.

21:01You can be whatever you are, but just doing this changes everything.

21:06And then if I can add some other thing, and this is, I think, really interesting.

21:10It's really interesting if you have a lot of meetings.

21:12I don't know if you have a lot of meetings going on, but if you have a lot of meetings,

21:17also there, the breathing before it helps.

21:19But I know a company and I'm a big fan of theirs.

21:22And the company is called Warm Space.

21:24I don't know if you ever heard about Warm Space, but I think, did you ever heard about them?

21:28I have not.

21:29Okay.

21:29I think they're amazing.

21:31Why?

21:31Because what they do is they changed meetings in a drastically way.

21:35They're working now more and more on high-level companies.

21:38And what do they do?

21:39Instead of starting a meeting, whatever, if it's online or in person, in general, the meeting

21:44starts with, okay, what are the goals?

21:45What are the objectives?

21:46And everything, it goes like very rationally.

21:49So we're all rationally in the head and we go and have the meeting.

21:52What they do, and this is this mindfulness in a meeting, and it's, I call it Zoom with a heart,

21:58because they, it's like an application that is put on Zoom.

22:01And what they do, they start the meeting.

22:03First, they do together.

22:05You do it all together.

22:06If you want one, two, hundred people, you can do it with a thousand people.

22:10You do one minute of breathing together.

22:12Secondly, you show your appreciation.

22:15You give some words of appreciation.

22:16Three, you scare yourself from one to ten.

22:19What is your emotional state?

22:20And four, you name your emotions by giving in words, if it's in person.

22:26Just by doing this, your cortisol level goes down.

22:29Your stress goes down.

22:30Can you imagine the effect, what it has on the meeting?

22:33The outcome.

22:34People are much more creative.

22:36They work more together.

22:37They are more productive.

22:38And then at the end of the meeting, they do the same with scaling and with the words.

22:43And imagine you were very angry or stressed before the meeting.

22:46If you would have scaled you before, then you do the same thing in the beginning of the meeting.

22:50And you do it at the end.

22:51The results are mind-blowing.

22:53So this is one thing.

22:54I don't know if everybody can do it.

22:57But with this application, you just add it on, your Zoom meeting or whatever you have,

23:01and it changes everything.

23:03It's the mindset of everybody.

23:04And it's done in such a fun and original way that I'm a big fan of it.

23:10So these were some tips.

23:11Okay, so thank you.

23:12A lot of overachievers fear that if they let go of the pressure, that their results will suffer.

23:18And I can give you a real-life example.

23:20I think of a competitive runner.

23:22Or I'll even put it.

23:23I'm not a competitive runner now.

23:26Some would argue I've never been.

23:27But I do run.

23:29But let's just say that I'm running.

23:31If I go to the track and I want to challenge myself to run the fastest mile I've ever run,

23:36I will go out and I will push myself as fast as I think I can go and I'll see what the time is.

23:40But if you throw a couple people in there that are a little bit faster than me,

23:44I have the ability to find another level that I wasn't able to find before.

23:49Or if I've got someone breathing down my neck, I push harder.

23:53And I would equate that pressure with better performance.

23:58So there are ways to use that feeling of pressure to push yourself harder or farther or better

24:04than you might have been able to do it on your own.

24:07But I realize that there are consequences if you do that every day.

24:09I'm not going to go race every day all out and try to pick your times.

24:15So for those of us watching or listening who feel that pressure is a good thing that drives us to achieve great things,

24:24what are your words of wisdom or words of caution?

24:27Or what would your message be to those of us who tend to feel that way on a regular basis?

24:32But I love the example that you give.

24:34And it's true.

24:35But it's not only pressure.

24:36For me, it's more the momentum.

24:37It's the momentum, whatever, if it's running, if it's in your business.

24:42It's for every athlete like that.

24:44It's for every great leader like that.

24:46You feel there is something that you want to achieve.

24:49You have this momentum.

24:51You work with it, with this energy.

24:52And that's fine.

24:53There's nothing against that.

24:55But when are things changing?

24:58When this pressure is there all the time.

25:00When you feel this pressure for your job, for your personal life, you feel it's never enough.

25:06You feel like all the time running behind because you're not finishing what you want to do for your work with your endless to-do list.

25:13But on top of that, you're not there with your family.

25:16You don't do the things you want to do for yourself.

25:19You don't see your partner enough.

25:21You don't have your friends that you want to see.

25:23And this is a complete different pressure.

25:25This is not the positive.

25:27Because if we talk about stress, there is positive stress.

25:30And that's great.

25:31Because this stress will put you in alert.

25:34It will help you to be more present and to really act in a better way.

25:40So that's good stress.

25:41And that's good pressure.

25:42And this is what the pressure that you were talking about.

25:44But in general, that's okay.

25:47And just be in the momentum and enjoy this because it will give you better results.

25:51But this is when it's temporary.

25:53But when you have it on every aspect of your life and when you have it every day and you just have to be honest with yourself.

25:59Do I feel this pressure here on my shoulder?

26:01And it's like literally on your shoulder.

26:04And you feel the stress inside all the time.

26:07Then there's something wrong.

26:08And I can tell you, if you want to lead with pressure, you won't have the results that you want.

26:13And it's not the same as the one-time pressure for a big moment where you have been training for.

26:18And for me, it's not the pressure.

26:20Fair enough.

26:20It's the presence, the focus, and the energy.

26:23This will change everything.

26:24So for someone listening who feels disconnected from their spouse or their kids because of work,

26:30what's one way to start repairing that relationship without guilt?

26:34If you feel disconnected from somebody, I would say the first thing I would do is first connect again with yourself.

26:41Make some time for you.

26:43Because in general, if you're disconnected with people, it's because you're disconnected from yourself.

26:48So I would first say, take some time for you and just do some things you like.

26:53Walk, run, swim, dance, whatever.

26:55Once you've accomplished that and you're sure like, okay, I energize myself already because you have to feel energized again.

27:02Then you can start to do the same with this person.

27:05And you go to this person and you connect with this person if it's somebody very close or not so close, whatever.

27:10But just do it with presence and curiosity.

27:14Presence and curiosity with an open conversation.

27:17Be there and you can ask like, how do you feel?

27:20What did you miss?

27:21What do you want?

27:22And you can be very open as well, saying what you missed and what you want to change.

27:27And from there on, it's quite simple.

27:29You decide together what you like to do.

27:31What do we like to do?

27:32What fun thing can we organize?

27:34And then plan it and build back your relationship.

27:37And do see that it's based on trust, on quality time and also open communication.

27:43And the quality time, even if it's not so long, even if you can't say, I can take two hours a day for you.

27:48No, if it's with children, it's not always possible to have two hours quality time.

27:53But it's better to have like 15 minutes quality time and be there intentionally, not with your phone, not with your mails, but be there.

28:01And don't think about your clients.

28:02Be there.

28:03This is the basic of a good relationship and reconnecting again with people with whom you are disconnected.

28:08Is this an answer to your question?

28:09Thank you for sharing that.

28:10You did good.

28:12I really appreciate your time.

28:16I appreciate your openness, your candor, your ideas, your tips, and your suggestions.

28:21I'm very, very thankful.

28:23I wish you weren't half of the world away so we could hang out once in a while.

28:26But I really appreciate everything.

28:29And for those who are listening, who would like to know more about you, your company, and the work you do, what's the best way for them to connect with you?

28:37The best way, so if when I share it, if it resonates with them, so the best way is just to go and check out my website.

28:44It's Allegriacoaching, with one L, A-L-E-G-R-I-A, coaching, one word, dot E-U.

28:50And feel free, because on my website there's a lot of information, feel free to take the free Joy of Life assessment.

28:57It's like in two minutes you will discover what is giving you stress, overwhelm, and exhaustion.

29:01And you will get a personalized report and tips to reduce the stress, to reclaim your time, and to create the freedom that you want.

29:09So this is one thing.

29:10And the second thing is just connect with me on LinkedIn.

29:12It's with my name, Cindy van Eekhout, and connect with me there.

29:16Anyway, everything is marked on my website, on my LinkedIn.

29:19And if you want to find a way, you will certainly find it through these two possibilities.

29:24Well, I really appreciate having you on.

29:26It's been an absolute pleasure.

29:28Thank you so much for your time, and let's do this again soon sometime.

29:32I hope I shared some practical tips for your audience and for your listeners.

29:36And thank you.

29:37I'm very grateful to have had this conversation with you, Mason.

29:39It was a pleasure.

29:40Thanks.

Category

Transcript

Be the first to comment

Recommended