- 3 months ago
CBS Radio Mystery Theater (a.k.a. Radio Mystery Theater and Mystery Theater) is a radio drama series created by Himan Brown that was broadcast on CBS Radio Network affiliates from 1974 to 1982, and later in the early 2000s was repeated by the NPR satellite feed.
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00:00Come in.
00:20Welcome.
00:22I'm E.G. Marshall.
00:24Welcome to the world of terrifying imagination.
00:27The fear you can hear.
00:32This is the story of a natural-born loser.
00:37Within the quietest and most retiring of the genus Homo sapiens, there lurks a tiger.
00:43As indeed, it lurks in all of us.
00:46It takes only the right combination of intolerable pressures, unfulfilled dreams,
00:51and the opportunity to escape the first and realize the second,
00:57to make even the worm turn, which is just what happened to Henry Green.
01:02I do a lot of dreaming.
01:04When you're married to someone like Florence, you've got to do something.
01:08But I never figured any of those dreams to come true.
01:14Revenge dreams.
01:15You know, like,
01:17It is the decision of this court that you, Florence Green, be removed to a suitable place
01:23and hang by the neck until you are dead.
01:26Maybe it's hung.
01:29I never remember.
01:30Like,
01:31It's all right, Dr. Willoughby.
01:35I know you did your best to pull her through,
01:38but it's God's will that prevails in the end.
01:42Florence is gone.
01:45Forever.
01:45Someone yaks at you like Florence and steps on your toes everything you want to do
01:52and has to be on you every moment and won't let you out of the house alone.
01:58I'm telling you, it's simply murder.
02:02So I dream a lot about my wife just not being.
02:06But I never thought of actually causing her not to be.
02:11I never really meant to end up a murderer.
02:15Our mystery drama,
02:25It's Simply Murder,
02:27was written especially for the Mystery Theater by Ian Martin
02:30and stars Jack Guilford.
02:34I'll be back shortly with Act One.
02:36One of the simplest and most fiendish devices to drive men mad
02:52is the Chinese water torture.
02:56The slow drip of water,
02:58second by second,
02:59minute by minute,
03:01hour by hour on the forehead.
03:03Unending,
03:04inescapable,
03:06inexorable.
03:08Henry Green's life was like that,
03:11both in his work
03:12and at home.
03:14Did you wash up all your breakfast dishes?
03:16Yes, Florence.
03:17You let the spoons up so they drain?
03:19Yes.
03:20Put out the garbage?
03:21Yes.
03:22And you cleaned out the sink?
03:23Yes, Florence.
03:24You wrung out the sponge?
03:25Yes.
03:26Look, I just...
03:27Don't you move until I'm finished talking to you.
03:30Now look, I want you right straight home here after the bank closes tonight.
03:34Well, some of the boys...
03:35Oh, don't give me any, uh,
03:36some of the boys.
03:38But just a drink to say bon voyage.
03:41But you'll have all the bon voyage on the cruise when we leave tomorrow.
03:45Although don't think there'll be any drinking going on there either.
03:48There's enough money being spent on this vacation now.
03:50It's the first real vacation we've taken since our honeymoon.
03:54And we wouldn't be having it if I hadn't made you save for it.
03:57I didn't start saving the money for the cruise.
04:00I know, I know.
04:01You wanted to save it for a smelly, dangerous, noisy old motorcycle.
04:06Well, I wasn't having any of that.
04:07I...
04:08I always wanted one.
04:10All my life...
04:11Oh, stop it.
04:13You're too old for one now anyway.
04:15How do you know what I...
04:17What was that?
04:17I said...
04:18Now, do you know that I've got to leave or I'll be late for the bank?
04:22Well, don't forget to pick up the suitcase.
04:24What suitcase?
04:25Your old one that Travers' luggage is repairing.
04:28Oh, all right.
04:29And mine to come right home after...
04:30Watch out for the cat!
04:32Ouch!
04:33You clumsy fool, you stepped on him.
04:35I didn't.
04:36He tried to run out of the door and he bit me.
04:39Serves you right.
04:40He knows you don't like him.
04:44Once I left the house, I always tried to put Florence out of my mind.
04:48And the best way to do that was to think about Sherry Woods.
04:54Not that I could do any more than think about her because she was Mr. Mercer's day and night, if you know what I mean.
05:02But more and more, I guess I was getting to the dangerous age because I sure did a lot of thinking about Sherry.
05:12Well, that's 10, 20, 30, 35, 40, 45, and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, makes 50.
05:23Thank you, Mr. Robinson.
05:24See you next week.
05:26You haven't any more customers, Henry?
05:29Close your window.
05:31Why, Sherry!
05:32Mr. Mercer wants to see me?
05:35I want to see you.
05:37Meet me in the conference room.
05:39Of course, if you say so, but what's wrong?
05:42Everything, as far as we're concerned.
05:46Unless maybe we have the nerve to try to put it right.
05:50Anyway, it's something we can't talk over here.
05:55Meet me where I said.
05:56What kept you so long?
06:04Mr. Mercer, he stopped me.
06:07You still think I'm attractive?
06:09Well, Sherry, knowing how I felt for you all this time, you have to ask?
06:16Yeah, I want to be quite sure.
06:19Come here, Henry.
06:21Where?
06:22Here.
06:24Right close against me.
06:26Put your arms around me.
06:28Suppose someone should come in.
06:30I slipped the automatic lock on the door before you came in.
06:33We're quite safe.
06:34I don't feel that way.
06:36I meant from being interrupted.
06:40Now kiss me.
06:41Sherry, I'm a married man.
06:44Oh, don't tell me you don't want to.
06:47Sherry, you could make me do anything, but...
06:51Oh, make me do anything.
06:56All right.
06:58All right.
06:58That's enough.
06:59Oh, I never kissed anyone like this.
07:02It's a good thing.
07:03You'd be arrested.
07:04It'd be worth it.
07:06Let's do it again.
07:07Well, we could do it forever.
07:10If you wanted to.
07:12But I'm married.
07:13We could make a few changes.
07:15Henry, when you get back from your trip, are you still expected to be promoted?
07:21Well, I...
07:22Mr. Mercer has practically promised me...
07:25You forget Sir Mercer's promises.
07:27I ought to know how little they're worth.
07:29We, my darling, are out.
07:32My darling?
07:33Did you hear the other part?
07:35What do you mean, we're out?
07:37You know in your heart, you'll never be vice president.
07:41And I've been fired.
07:43He can't do that to you.
07:45Well, he already has.
07:47You mean, Mr. Mercer has, uh, uh, changed his affections?
07:52I mean, that lousy, pot-bellied little two-timer has gone right off the deep end for Miss Fancy Pants.
07:59Gosh, Sherry, I am sorry.
08:01If there's anything I can do...
08:03Henry, love, there's plenty you can do to help.
08:07You and me are gonna be rich.
08:09Together.
08:11You'd like that, wouldn't you?
08:13Look, I, I better get back to my cage.
08:17Is that where you think you belong?
08:20Well, I am head teller and...
08:23In a cage?
08:25Oh, you're a man, not a mouse.
08:29Now's the time for you to prove it.
08:32Grab the world by the tail.
08:34How'd you like to travel the world?
08:36Live like royalty?
08:38Never have to punch a time cock?
08:40Get away from handling other people's money?
08:42Have it be your own.
08:44Both of us.
08:46Just you and me.
08:47Just, uh, us?
08:49But, but, Sherry, I mean, even if, if there wasn't Florence, I don't have any money.
08:55She's got it all.
08:56Oh, then that settles it.
08:57I'm gonna remake your life.
08:59How?
09:00Well, why don't we have lunch together, and I'll tell you.
09:04Where?
09:05The sandwich shop?
09:06No.
09:08Let's make it the gourmet.
09:10At 12.30?
09:11But that's terribly expensive.
09:13Oh, Henry Love, that's the way you and me are going from here on in.
09:17If you go along with me.
09:19You know, I want to, but, but how?
09:22I'll tell you that.
09:24After the second martini.
09:26I don't think I've ever had two martinis in a row.
09:37Certainly not in the middle of the day.
09:39Well, that's the whole trouble with you, Henry.
09:41You haven't really lived.
09:44That's because I have a mortar, too.
09:46Well, if you really want, you gotta take.
09:50I guess we both learned that today.
09:53We sure did.
09:54The boat sailed for both of us.
09:56Yeah, well, there's another boat sailing tomorrow that I'm more interested in.
10:01It's the one I wish I was taking with you.
10:04Oh, but what could I do with Florence?
10:07Yeah, well, that's what we're gonna discuss.
10:09We are?
10:10The best way to get rid of your wife.
10:15It's what we both want, isn't it?
10:17Florence would never give me a divorce.
10:20And even if she did, she'd want a big alimony.
10:24I just couldn't afford you, Sherry.
10:27Well, I won't deny I'm expensive, but you could easily afford me.
10:32How?
10:33Sy Mercer and his new lady love are leaving early for a weekend in Bermuda.
10:40Monday's a holiday.
10:42They won't be back till Tuesday morning.
10:45It won't be till then that they discover the money is missing.
10:49What money?
10:49The money in the teller's drawers.
10:52How much do you think it adds up to?
10:54Well, it's the end of the month.
10:57Payday for most people.
10:59The deposits have been heavy.
11:01Somewhere between six or seven hundred thousand dollars.
11:05Why?
11:07What do you want to know?
11:08I just wanted to know how much we're going to steal.
11:12It's all right, dear.
11:14No one's listening to us.
11:16I'm not listening to you.
11:19You must be mad.
11:21Steal it for what?
11:23For us to enjoy the rest of our life together.
11:27Together?
11:28What about Florence?
11:30Yeah.
11:31What about Florence?
11:34I just can't wish her dead, you know.
11:36Well, I don't see why not.
11:39You, you mean killer?
11:43How many times have you wanted to?
11:46Almost every day.
11:48But that's different.
11:51I would never do anything about it.
11:54Not even for me?
11:55It isn't that.
11:57I wouldn't know how.
11:59Anyway, it's all impossible.
12:03Why?
12:04But it takes two keys to close and open the teller's vault.
12:08Mine and Mr. Mercer's.
12:10Oh, you mean this one.
12:13How did you...
12:14Well, I told you he was leaving early.
12:16He gave me his key to close the vault tonight with Mr. Schaefer.
12:18But Schaefer doesn't have the other key I have.
12:22Yeah.
12:23But I think Schaefer's gonna have it.
12:25Because he's instructed me to tell you to give it to Schaefer.
12:28And tell him we'd be locking up while you're gone.
12:31So we have full access to the money.
12:34Yeah, until the outer door is closed with the time lock.
12:37And then the vault can't be opened until Tuesday.
12:41But I'd be trapped on the ship out at sea.
12:45And then I...
12:46Henry, after you've taken the money, you'll never get on that ship.
12:51Ah, I've always wanted to take a cruise.
12:54And Florence wouldn't...
12:56There isn't gonna be any Florence, Henry.
13:00Remember?
13:02But where could we hide?
13:04With enough money, you can hide anywhere.
13:08You'd shave off your mustache.
13:09Get contacts instead of those wire-rimmed glasses.
13:14A mod wig.
13:15I'd cut my hair short, dye it blonde, and get a nose bob.
13:18And put on a little weight in the right places.
13:21We'd be new people.
13:23I always wanted to have a beard.
13:26So all right.
13:27Grow a beard.
13:27Florence would never let me.
13:29Listen, Florence won't be around to object.
13:32Would I really have to...
13:35To kill her?
13:36What other way around is there?
13:39None.
13:40The trouble is, I wouldn't know how.
13:43Well, I've thought of that, Henry.
13:45Here.
13:46What is it?
13:47It's a bottle of sleeping pills.
13:49Just dissolve them in a nice hot cup of tea for Florence.
13:54What more do you want?
13:56I...
13:56I think I'll have another martini.
13:59I couldn't believe it was me sitting in an expensive restaurant, drinking in the middle of the day, and planning to murder my wife.
14:10Then I started in to think about the 20 years I'd already had with Florence, and the 20 or more I still might have to spend with her.
14:19And killing Florence began to make sense, maybe.
14:25I stole a look at Sherry, who was powdering her nose.
14:28It looked pretty good to me like it was, and I didn't see where she didn't have enough and all the right places to start with.
14:35That's when I made up my mind.
14:39Florence had to go.
14:41Henry Green, 5'9", 148 pounds, mouse-haired, mild, 45 years old, and safely mounted on a treadmill, running day by day to stand in the same place.
15:02A man in a cage, both at work and at home, but now in the grip of the mating urge, a tiger.
15:13I'll be back shortly with Act 2.
15:27There's one thing you can say for Henry Green.
15:30Once set loose, there's nothing small about his new way of life.
15:36Within one day, he is all set to break three of the major commandments, the 6th, 7th, and 8th, although not necessarily in that order.
15:47Murder and adultery will have to wait their turn.
15:52At the moment, he is occupied with the 8th, and grand larceny at that.
15:57All right, Sherry, that was the last teller.
16:01Is she gone?
16:02Yeah.
16:03All right.
16:05Let's open up.
16:07There.
16:09That's mine.
16:10Now yours.
16:13That does it.
16:14Now get the suitcase from behind the desk while I open the vault.
16:20Here it is, Henry.
16:22Put it flat on the floor and open it.
16:25You hand me the money, and I'll pack it in.
16:29Hope there's enough room for all of it.
16:32Just take our big bills and leave the chicken feed.
16:34No.
16:35Better take everything.
16:37Empty drawers are easier to handle.
16:40What is it?
16:43Somebody's coming.
16:44Buy this suitcase.
16:45Get the vault door.
16:48Give me the bag.
16:49Oh, well, all closed up.
16:52Miss Woods, time to go.
16:55Why, Miss Burpee?
16:57But forget something?
16:58Oh, Mr. Green, honest, I'm just so embarrassed.
17:02I sure hate to ask you, but...
17:04But what?
17:05Well, there's something I want to check in my teller's drawer.
17:08Would you please open up the vault?
17:10What?
17:11Yeah, but we just closed up.
17:13We can't.
17:13Oh, you got it.
17:14I have to know if it's missing.
17:17Is what missing?
17:18My engagement ring.
17:20You see, I usually take it off and put it in the drawer till I go home,
17:23and tonight I forgot to take it out.
17:26Well, can it wait till Monday?
17:29Oh, we're off.
17:30Oh, well, Tuesday.
17:31No, no, I got dates with Horace over the weekend,
17:33and you'd have a fit if I wasn't wearing it.
17:36Besides, I've got to be sure if it is there.
17:38Uh-huh, well, maybe you put it in your handbag.
17:41Oh, no, no, I looked there first thing because...
17:43Oh, now I remember.
17:46Yeah, yeah, right here in my jacket pocket.
17:49Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
17:50Oh, oh, oh, that's all right.
17:53Well, I guess I'll be getting along home.
17:56Oh, oh, sorry, I didn't see the suitcase.
17:59I was having the handle fixed before I packed it to go on my vacation.
18:04Oh, gosh, you don't have to explain to me.
18:06I didn't think you were robbing the bank or nothing.
18:08Uh, well, well, I, I, I gotta run.
18:12Well, one of the other girls is waiting for me.
18:16Just let me make sure she's gone,
18:18and for God's sakes, let's pack up and get out of here.
18:28We were both shaking like we had a fever
18:30after that run-in with bird brain burping,
18:33but somehow we managed to pack the money in the back
18:36and close the outside door with a time lock.
18:44Going home in the cab, the tension was so bad,
18:47I was tempted to take one of the sleeping pills myself
18:50to calm me down, but,
18:51but I resisted that.
18:54One crime leads to another.
18:56I was committed.
18:58If I lost my wits now,
19:00I stood to lose everything.
19:09Well, it's about time you got home.
19:11I had to close up the bank.
19:14At least I see you remember to bring the suitcase.
19:16I'll take that.
19:17No, I, I, I mean, I'll do my own packing.
19:21You, you can't even fold a bath towel.
19:23Well, this time I'll show you.
19:26I want you to get a little rest, dear.
19:28I'll take care of myself.
19:30Oh, I'm not gonna argue.
19:32Go ahead, throw everything in, higgledy-piggledy.
19:36You've been drinking.
19:37Well, I, just a sort of party because...
19:41I hope you didn't get too giddy
19:42so you can't manage to take your dinner out of the oven.
19:45Where are you going?
19:46Over to Mama's to leave Pussy.
19:48She's gonna take care of him till we get back.
19:50Oh.
19:51Okay.
19:52Will you be long?
19:54I don't know.
19:55Why?
19:56I'm all packed.
19:57I have no problems.
19:58I, I just thought you might be tired, Florence, dear,
20:01and I, I want to get to bed early.
20:03I'm not even thinking about bed.
20:05And you'd better not either.
20:07We got a lot to do before tomorrow.
20:09Don't I know it, Florence.
20:10Don't you worry.
20:12I'll be awake.
20:23Hello?
20:24Sherry?
20:25Yeah?
20:26What's happened?
20:27Oh, nothing yet.
20:28I just had dinner.
20:30You mean to tell me you haven't got rid of Florence?
20:32Oh, yes.
20:33Oh.
20:34Well, she just took the cat over to leave at her mother's.
20:38Oh, you know that isn't what I meant.
20:40I, I know.
20:41It's just, I, I'm, Sherry, I, I don't know.
20:44Henry Green, you listen to me.
20:47It's now or never.
20:49But I don't know how to...
20:51How could you take those capsules,
20:53empty the powder from them into a cup or mug or whatever,
20:56and coax Florence into having a nice relaxing drink before bed?
20:59What does she like?
21:01Uh, a chocolate, but...
21:03No buts, Henry.
21:04You can do it.
21:06Just put your mind to it and finish it.
21:08I'm just sorry I ever started it.
21:10Oh, Henry.
21:12When you know you're gonna end up with me.
21:14Oh, oh, okay, Sherry.
21:17You can trust me.
21:24It, it took a couple of shots from the Christmas brandy bottle
21:28Florence kept hidden in among her foundation garments
21:31to keep me going till Florence got back from her mother's.
21:36Luckily, by that time, she seemed tired herself,
21:39and we were finally ready for bed.
21:42Oh, did you lock the front door and put out the lights?
21:46Florence, uh, how'd you like a, a nice cup of cocoa
21:49before you go to bed put you right off to sleep?
21:53Oh, I'd love it.
21:54I, I, I'll get it for you.
21:55You can't.
21:56I used up the last yesterday.
21:58But you gotta, you, I'm, I mean,
22:01wouldn't you like something to drink?
22:03Oh, well, I, I did get a little bit of a chill coming home.
22:07I'll take some hot tea.
22:08Oh, yes, yes.
22:09I, I, hot tea will be just right.
22:12Here's your tea, Florence.
22:21Now drink it up.
22:22In a minute, when I have my hair up.
22:25Meanwhile, I have a list of things for you to do.
22:28Me?
22:28Yes.
22:29I want you to put out the garbage,
22:31check all the outside door locks,
22:32bleed the hot water tank and make sure there's no rust,
22:35oil the garage doors,
22:36replace that burned out bulb on the basement stairs.
22:39Well, here, here, it's all listed.
22:40But this'll take a while.
22:41Just do as I say.
22:43Oh, I don't care most of this, wait till we get back?
22:48No.
22:49Why not?
22:50I'll tell you when you're finished.
22:51Now on you go.
22:53Oh, don't look so pouty.
22:55It's something to keep you busy till I'm ready to go to sleep.
22:57Yeah.
22:58Okay, Florence.
23:00Good idea.
23:02Something to keep me busy till...
23:04Goodbye, Florence.
23:06What'd you say?
23:07Nothing.
23:08Just goodbye.
23:11Florence?
23:20What is it?
23:21Oh, my God.
23:23What is it, Henry?
23:24There's nothing.
23:25I just thought you were asleep.
23:28No, I just can't relax somehow.
23:31Too many things on my mind.
23:32What was it you were going to tell me?
23:35Oh, that can wait.
23:37Oh, I wish I could sleep.
23:39Didn't, uh...
23:41Wasn't the tea any help?
23:43Oh, that.
23:44I poured it out.
23:45You forgot the sugar.
23:47Poured it out?
23:48I yelled and yelled for you, but you didn't answer.
23:50I must have been outside.
23:51Anyway, it tasted terrible and it was cold, so I...
23:54I just poured it down the sink.
23:56Well, how'd you like to bring me another?
23:59But with sugar.
24:00It's too late.
24:02Why?
24:03It's only just after 10 o'clock.
24:04Yes, I...
24:05I guess I...
24:06Oh, I'm so tired.
24:08Okay, Florence.
24:09I'll get you another cup.
24:11And you used all of the capsules.
24:21Yes.
24:22Now, what do I do?
24:23There's gotta be a way.
24:25How?
24:25Tell me.
24:26I haven't got a gun.
24:28I wouldn't know how to use a knife.
24:30We haven't got a rope in the house.
24:32There isn't even any string.
24:35And I haven't got the courage to even consider a...
24:37a blunt weapon.
24:39Oh, why did I ever get into this?
24:42Well, I'll give you a razor, couldn't you?
24:44A razor?
24:46I don't even use a safety razor because blood makes me nauseous.
24:51Just electric.
24:52That's it.
24:54Electricity.
24:56Take out a fuse and...
24:58I wouldn't go near the fuse box.
25:00I'd probably electrocute myself.
25:02Gas.
25:03Have you got a gas stove?
25:04Oh, great.
25:06All I have to do is say,
25:07Florence, I just robbed the bank because I'm in love with Sherry Woods
25:12and we need you out of the way.
25:13So would you please just stick your head in the unlighted oven
25:16so I can smother you?
25:19What's that?
25:20The tea kettle.
25:22Blowing the whistle on me.
25:24I guess it's only the first.
25:25Wait a minute.
25:27Smother.
25:28A pillow.
25:28Oh, Henry, that's it.
25:30A pillow.
25:31A what?
25:31You know, like Laurence Olivier in that picture where he had the...
25:35Oh, the black face and he held a pillow over his wife's face
25:38and then, oh, it was by Shakespeare.
25:40Oh, fellow.
25:41Yeah, yeah.
25:42I might just be able to manage that.
25:51The tea was too weak, but at least it had sugar.
25:54Henry, what are you doing standing there with that pillow?
26:00Oh, nothing.
26:02Just waiting to come to bed.
26:05Well, turn out the light, for heaven's sake.
26:08I'm almost asleep.
26:10Henry!
26:11Yeah, sure.
26:13Henry, what are you doing with the pillow?
26:15Come on, it's late.
26:16What's...
26:16Who's that?
26:18I don't know.
26:19Turn on the light so I can answer it.
26:21I don't know what's wrong with you.
26:22You had that pillow right over my face.
26:24Hello?
26:25Oh, oh, Mama.
26:26Yeah, what's the matter?
26:27Oh, just a minute.
26:29Henry, will you get that pillow out of the way so I can talk to my mother?
26:32Yeah.
26:33Oh, yeah, Mama.
26:34Yeah.
26:35Hmm?
26:36Oh, pussy wouldn't take his milk.
26:38Well, I can't understand.
26:39Oh, Mama, I forgot to tell you.
26:42Put a teaspoon of sugar in it.
26:44Yeah.
26:44Yeah, I mean, he's used to it.
26:47Oh, no.
26:48No, Mama, you're not interrupting anything.
26:51I get all the time in the world.
26:53Hmm?
26:54Oh, well, yes.
26:56He doesn't like his litter basket in the bathroom.
26:59Unless there's a rug on it.
27:04I lay there listening to the voice droning on and on.
27:09The pillow in my hands, waiting for the moment.
27:13The moment that never came.
27:16Three martinis, two brandies caught up with me.
27:19And the next thing I knew...
27:21You fell asleep.
27:32Sherry, I was bushed.
27:33I was just knocked out.
27:35And when Florence starts talking to her mother, you just don't know.
27:39Oh, never mind that now, Henry.
27:41What are we gonna do?
27:43I don't know.
27:43Is Florence still in bed?
27:45No.
27:46She got up before me.
27:47She's in the bathroom.
27:48Oh, I tell you, Henry, I don't know what to say.
27:50I've been up all night, half out of my mind, waiting to hear...
27:53Hold it.
27:53Henry, where are you?
27:55What is it?
27:56It's Florence.
27:57She's yelling for me.
27:58I'll have to call you back.
28:00Henry!
28:00Okay, Florence, I'm coming.
28:04Henry, I declare I could shout my lungs out and be dying, and I couldn't get you to help.
28:10I'm here, Florence.
28:11What is it?
28:12Open the door and come in.
28:14Come right over here to the end of the bathtub.
28:17What's wrong?
28:17I have this terrible cramp in my foot.
28:19Oh, it's killing me.
28:20Massage it quick, please.
28:21Like that?
28:22Not the left when you pull the right.
28:24That's it.
28:24Oh, grab it and rub.
28:26Oh, be careful, idiot.
28:28Don't pull it towards you.
28:29You almost had my head underwater.
28:31You want to drown me?
28:35Suddenly, after all the trial and error, the hedging and the fudging, there it was.
28:42All I had to do was grab both feet, pull and lift up, and Florence was helpless and gone.
28:50Murder could never be made more simple.
28:59The moment of truth at last.
29:04Does Henry have the courage to go through with it?
29:08And if he does, can Sherry and he get away with larceny and murder?
29:14And having broken the sixth and eighth commandments, will the seventh be worth it all?
29:20Those are questions to be answered shortly when I return with Act Three.
29:37I don't suppose you'd ever want to try it.
29:39But in case you do, if your bathtub has an open end, coax any obliging friend to lie in it.
29:48Seize him or her by the angles.
29:52Repeat Henry's actions, and they are helpless.
29:55Even if they are not obliging, and no matter how strong they are.
30:00If there's water in the tub, of course, they would drown.
30:03That would be surely up to you, as it is this moment, up to Henry.
30:13How long I stood there frozen, unable to move, scarcely able to breathe.
30:19After I took the action, I'll never know.
30:23I suppose Florence must have thrashed and twisted.
30:26There must have been a sound of choking and bubbling as her head stayed beneath the water.
30:31I'll never know.
30:33I don't remember.
30:36All I do remember is what brought me out of my trance.
30:40Who? Who? Who's that?
30:43Uh, doorbell.
30:44Uh, who?
30:46Must be Sherry.
30:47Yeah, Sherry, you got to answer.
30:53Hey there.
30:55Are you Mr. Green?
30:56Why, uh, yes, I am.
30:59Sal Basso here.
31:00Okay to move on in?
31:02I beg your pardon?
31:03Well, didn't the missus tell you about me?
31:05Why, I don't, uh, who...
31:07I'm your new tenant.
31:09Short term, you know?
31:10Just while you're off on a cruise.
31:12And that's my family out there in the wagon.
31:15My wife rented you our house?
31:17Yeah.
31:18For the three weeks till our house is being painted.
31:22Just got the painter started today.
31:25Hey, wait a minute.
31:26Nothing wrong, huh?
31:28I mean, I paid in advance.
31:29Mr. Bosso.
31:31Basso.
31:31Yes, uh, Basso.
31:33You're sure that...
31:34Well, just let me talk to your wife a minute.
31:36We can get it all straightened out.
31:37There's no need for that.
31:39It's just that...
31:39Well, I wouldn't want to have to kick up no fuss, you know?
31:42I mean, I got the painter started.
31:45My whole family and clothes moved out.
31:47Well, I mean, I wouldn't want to drag no lawyer or like that into this, but...
31:52Oh, no, no, there's no question of that.
31:54I'm sure if my wife, as a matter of fact, I do recall she said she had something to tell me.
32:01You see, I got the receipt right here.
32:04That the missus' handwriting?
32:06That, uh, yes, that's Florence's handwriting, all right.
32:11It's just we've been a little delayed in getting out of the house, and if you could give me a couple of hours...
32:18Oh, sure.
32:19I am a bit early.
32:21Hey, I'll tell you what.
32:23There's a horror film in the shopping center movie house.
32:26Now, I'll take the family there and give them a thrill and come back in, say, a couple of hours, okay?
32:34And tell the missus to have a good time on that cruise.
32:38And she shouldn't fall overboard or get around or nothing like that.
32:46Hello?
32:47Henry.
32:49Oh, I thought you'd never call.
32:51Listen, baby, I'm all packed.
32:53I'll hop in a cab and come to your house.
32:55You better be ready with the bags and money, and we'll leave for the airport in the first plane.
33:01What?
33:02Why not?
33:04She what?
33:06Rented the house!
33:09Well, so what's the difference?
33:10Why can't...
33:11All right, Henry.
33:13All right, all right, don't get excited.
33:15Yeah, not on the phone.
33:17I'll be right over.
33:19I won't.
33:20We'll figure out something.
33:22After I hung up the phone, I went upstairs.
33:29There was something I had to do for Florence before Sherry got there.
33:32She was heavier than I thought, and it took me some time to dry her and get her dressed.
33:38It helped, since she had all her traveling clothes lying on the bed.
33:42By the time I had her propped up in the slipper chair, I was soaking wet and shaking all over.
33:49By that time, I knew what I had to do.
33:52I opened the door to the basement, turned on the light, and went downstairs.
33:57Over in the back corner was what I was looking for, an old wardrobe trunk that used to belong to Florence's father.
34:06It was covered with dust and mildew, but I wiped it off with a rag and dragged it across the cellar and up the steps.
34:15I can't.
34:21She's so heavy.
34:23Just a few steps more.
34:25Now, that's it.
34:27Now we can get her in the trunk.
34:31I still think we should have cut and run.
34:34Easy now.
34:36Get her so she's sitting on the stool inside.
34:40We wouldn't have had time to get away.
34:45The batsos, six or seven kids, they'd have been all over this house.
34:49No way to hide Florence.
34:50Florence, that's it.
34:53Now, to get it closed.
34:56I'll hold you bush.
34:59There.
35:02Henry, are you sorry?
35:06I don't know.
35:08I'm numb.
35:09I'll try to make up to you for it.
35:11I did it for you.
35:13The crazy things a man can do.
35:16Well, at least you're free.
35:17No, no, no, not yet.
35:21Florence may be dead, but we still haven't gotten rid of her.
35:25Oh, I wish.
35:26Yeah, yeah, so do I.
35:32Just look at me.
35:33I'm an absolute frunk.
35:35Well, Florence was a bit bigger than you.
35:37A bit?
35:38If I had a twin, she'd fit in here, too.
35:40I can't go out like this.
35:42This will cover you up.
35:43What is it?
35:44A raincoat.
35:45We're in luck.
35:46It started to rain.
35:48You can pull the hood over your head, and you'll look just like Florence.
35:51Thanks a lot.
35:52Do we have to go through all this, Henry?
35:54The neighbors might be looking out, and someone has got to get on their boat with me.
35:58They've got to think that Florence came aboard so she can fall overboard tonight.
36:03Uh-huh, and then I sneak off in my own clothes before the ship sails.
36:06I wish I could have you with me, but I can't.
36:09Oh, that's all right, Henry.
36:11I'll try to bear up.
36:13There were just too many other things to think of just then.
36:20The first getting a cab, the second getting it loaded, and away before Mr. Basso and his family returned from the horror movie.
36:28I envied him.
36:30He was just watching one.
36:32I was living it.
36:33Okay, Mark.
36:35All righty.
36:36Let's see.
36:37Easy, easy.
36:39Try to keep her upright.
36:41Who?
36:41The trunk.
36:43Oh, it's a diff.
36:44You got a body in there?
36:45A what?
36:46I'm just giving you a rip.
36:47Feels heavy enough for one.
36:49That suit you?
36:50Yeah, sure.
36:51Yes, yes, yes.
36:52Fine, fine.
36:53Ah, you know, you've got to be some kind of a nut to think you're going to get some old trunk like that on any of today's cabs.
36:59Them trunks went out with Jimmy Walker.
37:01I'm just lucky you were nice enough to help out.
37:03For 50 green ones, Mark, remember?
37:06Oh, sure.
37:07Here.
37:08Okay, time in.
37:10I just have to make sure my wife will follow in the taxi.
37:14I'm sorry you ain't got no room in the truck for three.
37:17I'll be right back.
37:18I ain't going nowhere without you.
37:20Well, we're all set, Sherry.
37:23You trail us to the pier.
37:25Here, I'll take the suitcase.
37:27It's all right.
37:28Might as well leave it with me.
37:30Goodbye, Henry.
37:31Well, goodbye for now.
37:34Anyway.
37:36Jouncing along in that miserable little pickup truck, that last goodbye seemed somehow so final.
37:45Could Sherry possibly...
37:48God, I put that out of my mind as I told myself that everything was working out for the best.
37:54Just a few more hours and we be home free.
37:58What's the holdup?
38:02Search me.
38:03This is the line for the pier.
38:05Hey, you want I should go find out where it's jammed up?
38:07Nothing moving?
38:08No, I...
38:09Hey, wait a minute.
38:09Here's a cop coming along your side.
38:12Officer?
38:13Officer?
38:14All right.
38:15Knock off the horns.
38:17Yeah, mister.
38:17I'm trying to make a cruise ship that's sailing in about a half hour.
38:21That's fine, citizen.
38:23Then you're right where you belong.
38:25Just stay in line.
38:26But why?
38:27What's wrong?
38:28Nothing for you to worry about, I'm sure.
38:30Just some nut phoned in a bomb scare.
38:33Now, we got to search all baggage going aboard.
38:36You want to really help out?
38:37You can.
38:38Open up that trunk you got so the bomb squad can check you out.
38:42But I can open that trunk.
38:45My wife has the keys.
38:47Okay.
38:48So where's your wife?
38:49Well, she...
38:49She's in a taxi right behind her.
38:51There wasn't room for her.
38:52What taxi?
38:54I'll be a son of a gun.
38:55That one just pulled out making a U-turn.
38:57Stop her.
38:58Stop her.
38:59Hold her, mister.
39:00What's going on here?
39:00Hey, grab this little drum officer.
39:02I should have known he was off his trolley right from the beginning.
39:04No, no, no.
39:04Take it easy, mister.
39:06You ain't going nowhere.
39:07I bet there's a bomb in that trunk.
39:09A bomb?
39:10There isn't any bomb.
39:12Let me go.
39:12Sherry?
39:13Sherry?
39:23Sherry?
39:24Sherry?
39:25Henry?
39:26Henry, wake up.
39:27What?
39:28Why?
39:29Where?
39:30Oh, Florence.
39:32Where am I?
39:33Oh, I'm not surprised you don't know.
39:35Stumbling in drunk last night and waking up the first day of your vacation still calling for a drink.
39:39A drink?
39:40Well, you're not getting any.
39:41I hope you have a hangover big enough to make yourself properly ashamed of.
39:45Now, you get up out of bed and pull yourself together.
39:48Oh, yes, Florence.
39:50Oh, my head.
39:52Oh, ouch.
39:54Oh, what's that?
39:56Your suitcase.
39:57Right where you insisted on putting it last night.
40:00Right next to the bed.
40:01You didn't open it.
40:02I did after you fell in the door with it when you brought it home and I packed it for you.
40:07Now, you'll be on your feet and ready to go by the time I'm out of my bath.
40:11My mind was reeling and splitting in two at the same time.
40:19I kneeled on the floor and opened the suitcase.
40:23It contained nothing but clothes.
40:26No money.
40:28Just clothes.
40:29With a shaking hand, one ear on the rushing bath water and an eye on the bathroom door,
40:35I dialed Sherry's number.
40:43Yes?
40:45Sherry?
40:46Who is this?
40:48Henry.
40:49Henry who?
40:51Henry Green.
40:53Oh, hello, Mr. Green.
40:55I was going to call you a little later.
40:57I should think so.
40:59What happened yesterday?
41:00Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about anything.
41:03You were kind of cute, really.
41:04When you left the party, you're a bit wobbly.
41:07Party?
41:08What party?
41:09Well, the party that shut.
41:11I mean, Mr. Mercer gave when you were named vice president.
41:14I was named vice president?
41:16You don't remember much, do you?
41:19You even went off with a vault key you were supposed to give to Mr. Schaefer.
41:23I have to arrange for you to get it to him today before you leave on the cruise.
41:27Sherry.
41:28I mean, Miss Woods, did we have lunch together yesterday?
41:34Why, no.
41:35I didn't have three martinis with you?
41:38Well, not at lunch.
41:40At the party.
41:41Well, I don't know how many you had, but you were pretty looped.
41:45I called you home last night and your wife said you'd gone straight to bed without any dinner.
41:50So, it was all a dream.
41:53What did you say?
41:54No, nothing, Sherry.
41:56I just wish I'd been able to kiss you goodbye.
42:04I sit here, hunched like a mouse, remembering the dream and facing the reality.
42:10And I wonder which is the real nightmare.
42:13I suppose I should be grateful it was only a dream.
42:17But on the other hand...
42:19Henry!
42:20Henry!
42:22Come in here right away!
42:24I have a cramp in my foot!
42:26I need you!
42:27Henry Green.
42:36Paper tiger, as it turns out.
42:39Grand larcener.
42:40First degree murderer.
42:42Rapacious adulterer.
42:44Thirsting after a young woman's flesh.
42:47But all and only in the mind.
42:50And surely to have to go on living with someone like Florence is punishment enough to fit the crime.
42:59I'll be back shortly.
43:10The wish is father to the thought.
43:14The thought is father to the deed.
43:16Henry Green only got two-thirds of the way along that path.
43:22Even in dreams, he never managed to break the Seventh Commandment.
43:28Poor Henry.
43:29But, as I said in the beginning, this was the story of a natural-born loser.
43:36Our cast included Jack Guilford, Marion Haley, Bryna Rayburn, Dan Occo, Ian Martin.
43:42The entire production was under the direction of Hyman Brown.
43:45This is E.G. Marshall inviting you to return to our mystery theater for another adventure in the macabre.
43:53Until next time, pleasant dreams.
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