- 3 months ago
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00:00Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex, Warren and Lucy discover twisted versions of their own world.
00:10Always hoping the next one will be home.
00:22That's Mrs. Schrodinger.
00:24Why does she keep dying? This is like the fifth time.
00:26Her clothes, it's like we've landed in some corny murder mystery cosplay.
00:32Cos-what?
00:33Cosplay. Where people dress up as their favourite characters.
00:36Remember when I dressed up as She-Hulk and left green footprints all over the house?
00:40Oh, like when your mum dressed up like a nurse for my birthday.
00:43Whoa, TMI, Dad. And that's roleplay, not cosplay.
00:46I used to watch heaps of murder shows with mum.
00:49Around about now, someone always runs in and says...
00:51Lady Schrodinger is dead!
00:54Wow. Cosplay.
00:58Oh, Inspector, thank God you're here. What's happened?
01:04Whoa! Check out your fellas' hard-out costumes. What a crack-up.
01:09You have an interesting accent, Inspector. What is hard-out crack-up?
01:13More importantly, what on earth happened to Lady Schrodinger?
01:18Dad, I think the Vortex wants us to solve a murder.
01:21Oh, okay. I'll play along.
01:24Looks like she got...
01:27the horn.
01:28YAAAHHHHHH!
01:30You are sick, Dad. This is no time for jokes.
01:33Good lord, man. A woman is dead.
01:36You said murder mystery. I was doing CSI Miami.
01:39Wrong kind of murder show.
01:40So, uh, who are you all?
01:44Laurel Dubois.
01:46Lady Schrodinger's nurse.
01:47And yes, I am a spinster.
01:50The Reverend Ian Worthington.
01:52I think I need a sherry.
01:57Colonel Muddy Fanshawe, at your service.
02:00Maz, when did you join the army?
02:01Oh, my God. She's dead.
02:05Oh, the horror. I can't stand it.
02:09I was in the war, you know.
02:12Dr. Darwin Edwards, Professor of Peculiar Weapons at Oxford.
02:17Bull. Bridges, the gunkeeper.
02:19Always forgetting to take me cup off.
02:21I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, Inspector,
02:25but the thunder wettled the mansion,
02:27which must have caused the trophy to fall from the wall.
02:29Nothing but a bit of woosh taxidermy.
02:31Spot of bad weather and a bit of what and luck, old bean.
02:34That's ridiculous.
02:36She's on top of the trophy.
02:38If it had fallen off, it would be on top of her.
02:40This is no accident.
02:46Ha! Brilliant police work, Inspector.
02:48Uh, actually, I was the one that...
02:51Oh, all of a sudden, I feel a little light-headed.
02:54Oh, oh.
02:57Oh, Inspector, you have very strong arms.
03:00Are you sure we haven't met before?
03:02Well, uh...
03:04Inspector?
03:04Mm-hmm?
03:05I need to speak to you in private.
03:07Right now.
03:10So, it's all like one of those stupid, old-school English murder mysteries.
03:13If you found a dead person, you'd be traumatised for the rest of your life.
03:16But these people just carry on like...
03:18Oh, a dead body.
03:19Better have a cup of tea, old chap.
03:21Dad, are you listening to me?
03:22Check out these out of its sweets.
03:24Look, look.
03:25Nicotine chews, whale blubber gum, black and white minstrel lollies.
03:29Racist lollies.
03:30That's the 1930s.
03:31Everything was racist back then.
03:34We're trapped in a murder mystery, and we're the detectives.
03:37So, I reckon, if we solve the murder, vortex opens.
03:40Boom shakalaka.
03:41Easy.
03:41It'll be the butler.
03:42It's always the butler.
03:43Dad, focus.
03:44I think we need to play this whole thing out.
03:47They won't listen to me, but they will listen to smart Inspector Harrison.
03:54Well, I just wanted to know what it tastes like.
04:03He's dead.
04:04I suspect murder.
04:18Oh, I suspect murder.
04:20But now, it's up to the brilliant Inspector Harrison to solve this heinous crime.
04:29Ah, yeah, sweet ass.
04:31Kia ora, tatou.
04:32I bet you're probably wondering why I, the brilliant detective fellow, have assembled you
04:37all here today.
04:38Because of the murders?
04:40Aha.
04:40What do you know about the murders?
04:42Lady Schrodinger has been murdered, and also now the reverend.
04:47Their bodies are literally right here.
04:50So, what are you, like, French or something?
04:52May we?
04:53May we answer the question?
04:57I smell arsenic in the Cherie Cherie.
05:00I know this because I am a French spinster nurse.
05:04And the Cherie came from Schrodinger's drinks, Tway.
05:06It was intended for her.
05:09The reverend was just collateral damage.
05:10Someone poisoned her, Cherie, and impaled her on the trophy?
05:15Someone really wanted her dead.
05:17Although, to be fair, she was a man.
05:19No, no, no, her death was a great loss, and she will be dearly missed, as will the reverend.
05:24When will this ridiculous farce be over?
05:27I have many things to be doing, huh?
05:29What the inspector is trying to say is, we're going to have to question you all individually
05:33to see if her stories add up, because the murderer has to be someone in this room.
05:50I was in my quarters, rehearsing for my latest masterpiece.
05:55But little did I know that I would be cast in the real-life role of murderer.
05:59Of course, I am innocent.
06:03Wait, no.
06:04That was too wooden.
06:05May I try that again?
06:08Please.
06:10I tell you, innocent!
06:15Wow.
06:17You're brilliant.
06:19Oh, you're too kind.
06:20I'm really just a...
06:21Big, hairy bear of a man, covered in blood and gunpowder.
06:26Look, I'm not here to listen to your war stories, Boomer.
06:28What I need to know is, did you have reason to kill Mrs. Schrodinger?
06:32You think that I lifted her onto those stags' horns?
06:37Not a chance.
06:38I've got seven bullets still stuck in my chest, and a dicky knee, and a skittish bladder.
06:44In many ways, I left my manhood on that field in France.
06:49For manhood?
06:50Yes, it was.
06:52Shrivel, the lifeless, yeah.
06:54The worst souffle I've ever made.
06:58Then I heard the scream.
07:00I saw the colonel near the drawing room when I ran from the kitchen, and he was not limping.
07:07Limping?
07:08Limping.
07:09Between you and me, that man has never fought in the war.
07:12And his injuries, you know, maybe some swelling around his...
07:18Glistening, low-hanging plums.
07:21I developed a real taste for them in the jungles of Makunda.
07:25Sadly, they were poisonous.
07:27I developed sepsis, lost both my hands.
07:30And I couldn't whiff anyone.
07:34With these...
07:35Miss-shaping oaks of wood.
07:36I chucked the wood to take out my frustration at the lady of the house.
07:41She shot and killed my pet stag, you see, and mounted his head on the wall.
07:46But I didn't kill her, though.
07:48I didn't.
07:51I have a question for you, Inspector.
07:54But I might.
07:56Would you help me rehearse a scene?
07:59I think you'd make a wonderful leading man.
08:04It's a love scene.
08:06Absolutely.
08:16Where is the inspector?
08:18He's, uh, just finishing his investigation.
08:24Sorry, I'm late, though.
08:25I was just immersing myself in some role-play.
08:29Well, whilst you were immersing, I've solved the murder.
08:33The killer is...
08:35Chief Inspector Doyle.
08:48Scotland Yard.
08:50Chief Inspector?
08:52No.
08:53You're my boss.
08:55You've been drawing on your face again, Harrison.
08:56Goodness gracious me.
09:00Have you managed to solve this pickle scratcher yet?
09:01As a matter of fact, I have.
09:03I very much doubt that.
09:06All evidence points to...
09:08Beau, the disgruntled gardener.
09:13Really?
09:14Hmm.
09:16Very well.
09:17I rest in the name of the king.
09:19I didn't do nothing, Hopper.
09:22But maybe I deserve present time for being a common working man.
09:25But someone wanted us to think it was someone else.
09:30Someone who knew the poison was arsenic and had access to pharmaceuticals.
09:35Someone who's known for their impatience.
09:37When will this be over?
09:39She poisoned the tea, poisoned the sherry, and then, when she got tired of waiting, impaled Lady Schrodinger on the stag's head.
09:46I'm very happy, Hopper.
09:48I deny all of this.
09:50How could I possibly lift her?
09:51Nurse Laurel, you're an Olympic gold medalist, n'est-ce pas?
09:55Mais oui.
09:56Et dans quelle épreuve avez-vous participé?
09:59Wit lifting?
10:02Et voilà .
10:04Based on my many years of police work, and the fact that I'm a pretty awesome detective,
10:08I conclude that the murderer is none other than Nurse Laurel.
10:13And I rest in the name of the king.
10:15Three cheers for Inspector Doyle.
10:17Whip, whip.
10:18Away!
10:19For he's a jolly good farewell, for he's a jolly good farewell, he's a jolly good farewell.
10:26And nobody can deny.
10:28But I solved the matter.
10:30Yeah, well, maybe they just need to hear it in a man's voice, honey.
10:35Oh, I hate the 1930s so hard right now.
10:38What?
10:44You're kidding me.
10:46Why are we back here?
10:47We solved the murder.
10:48Ah!
10:49Have you ever noticed wherever we go, Mrs. S keeps dying?
10:57Oh, so it's a different murder this time.
10:59Now what is the meaning of all this noise?
11:03Professor Darren's been murdered.
11:06Well, I think it's pretty obvious who did this.
11:07He was murdered by a Zulu.
11:16This place is reset with a new murder.
11:19I guess the Vortex won't let us leave until we find who the real killer is.
11:22It's like we're stuck in one of those never-ending episodes of Black Mirror.
11:27Stop eating that racist toffee.
11:29But it's so good though.
11:31Maybe that's how they get you.
11:32It's going to make me racist.
11:33I don't think that's how that works.
11:34Oh.
11:35We have to find the killer or we'll be forced to repeat the sexist, racist world over and over.
11:41Let's interview them all again.
11:42Oh.
11:45I've known the Professor for years.
11:47We first crossed paths in the Amazon where he had the nerve to swipe a sacred idol from the tribe that took me in as one of their own.
11:56You always smelt like cucumbers.
11:59Never trust a man who eats cucumbers.
12:03They are the devil's fruit.
12:06Evil cucumbers.
12:09This is such a cuddle moodle.
12:11Professor Darren.
12:13Wait, so you're German now?
12:15I mean like, yeah.
12:22The killer is...
12:24Inspector Doyle.
12:35Scotland Yard.
12:37See if you solved it yet.
12:38Yeah.
12:39But you're not going to like it.
12:41It was him.
12:43She was sympathetic to the plight of the native tribe.
12:46Professor Darren was exploiting.
12:48Emotive.
12:49Vengeful justice.
12:51Oh.
12:53Huh.
12:54This is an absolutely ghastly travesty of justice.
12:59It's simply unbearable.
13:01She's a wriggler.
13:02I will wait for you.
13:04You'll be waiting a while.
13:06Dad, just a reminder.
13:08That isn't man.
13:08Oh yeah.
13:09You're kidding me.
13:17This is like Groundhog Day, but with more murder and less Bill Murray.
13:21Come on Dad, let's go another one.
13:25Oh no.
13:26Not my beautiful anymore.
13:27I think she's been poisoned, sir.
13:33But I don't know much about such things.
13:36I'm just a humble gardener.
13:40Not my darling anymore.
13:42Dad, again.
13:43It's not mum.
13:44No, I know you.
13:46Sort of.
13:52The killer is...
13:54Chief Inspector Doyle, Gullin Yard.
14:03Nurse Laurel, with her medical experience, is obviously the murderer.
14:06Again.
14:07Again?
14:08Blah blah blah.
14:09I risked you in the name of blah blah blah.
14:10It's truth.
14:11I'm not some flaming galah who's going to get locked up for something I didn't even do.
14:15Never trust an Australian.
14:18They're a penal colony, you know.
14:21It's just going to reset us again, isn't it?
14:23I reckon maybe it's not about solving the murder.
14:27What else are we supposed to do?
14:28Prevent the murder?
14:29Hmm?
14:30Not the dumbest idea we'd better have.
14:34What was that?
14:35Yes.
14:35Oh.
14:40Get off.
14:44Oh, we're too late.
14:45Wait, I was right.
14:46It was the butler in the drawing room with the candlestick.
14:49Yes.
14:53If only it were that simple.
14:55why is he so handsome apart from that the 90s called mate they want the goatee back
15:15can you hear that lucy some kind of high-pitched whining sound like a little baby crying
15:21why i can't pull off the awesome timeless style of a van dyke beard whatever look at your hair cut
15:27you reek of effort did he just call her lucy fascinating father i always figured there'd
15:36be alternate versions of us out there wait you're us whenever you turned up to a new world
15:42didn't you wonder where the other versions of you were you're lost in the vortex too check out
15:49the big brain on brads rude when we got here we figured out that whenever we kill someone
15:57the vortex opens we're on our last person but no vortex then you turn up
16:03nah nah don't get it you're gonna have to draw me a diagram or something because
16:12am i really that steward i would say so yes rude this version even more so i don't like this
16:22version of you me neither the feeling's mutual so let's just kill them and get it over with
16:27yes we didn't want to take any chances this time so we killed everyone
16:41we're not so different we both have to be the smartest person in the room am i right
16:49no i would never kill anyone and you have bangs what are you an evil dora the explorer
16:55how dare you they perfectly framed my face
16:59so you're evil me eh no you're inferior me so basic i bet your favorite food is barbecue
17:16hey don't this barbecue food man you know the only thing worse than barbecue food barbecue sauce
17:22what do you put on your steak then i don't eat steak i eat baby seals orphaned baby seals
17:31f-f-f-f-f- you monster
17:33speak to doyle scott and what in the gd bench is going on here
17:44uh chief inspector he's an evil duplicate of me shoot him
17:48no he's the evil one look he's even got an evil goatee
17:51yes that goatee does look pretty evil
17:52it's van dyke beard
17:53well that's obvious i'm dressed like a cop
17:56he's dressed like a butler
17:57i'm undercover all right shut up they're both you i need to hear myself think so
18:01you're him he's you uh you he's got a goatee and you don't this is giving me a nosebleed
18:07oh mama
18:09oh i said a kettle stick that is a surprise
18:13really the weapon isn't it yes
18:15a warrant time to die
18:22how do you have those i've always had things
18:33why don't you
18:35oh you haven't figured it out yet
18:40it looks like we're even stevens
18:58he kept forgetting the golden rama
19:00there's always room for sauce
19:03it looks like things are heating up
19:10oh watch out for the
19:13window
19:14okay
19:34don't freak out
19:35what do you mean
19:36aww they're all dead
19:39what's happening
19:47did we just go through the vortex or something
19:49no i think this is something different
19:51i'm pretty sure it was all a simulation created by this machine
19:55it's like the holotech on star trek
19:59um you keep forgetting i don't speak nerd honey
20:02okay so was it like one of your video games
20:04and were the evil versions of us were they part of it
20:07no they were real
20:10yeah real dicks
20:13warren
20:13whoa whoa
20:14lucy
20:15oh i must have dozed off
20:22watching one of my virtual murder mystery sims
20:26i just
20:27i do enjoy a good murder
20:30i can't believe you're finally back
20:35after all this time
20:37what was that thing on your head
20:38well my grey hair on me sims helmet
20:42oh it's just so good to see you too
20:46hold on
20:49you're different
20:51you used to have a goatee
20:55and your hair is awful
20:58i'll be to put the kettle on there
21:02oh
21:12they've gone
21:14what's pretty
21:16i was gonna poison their tea
21:19looks normal
21:33are we back
21:36only one way to find out
21:38the game of rugby
21:46was outlawed in the early part of the 20th century
21:50i kind of like this world dad
21:52some might even say it's a utopia
21:54no
21:55can't have a utopia without rugby
21:57sorry darling
21:58that's just a fact
21:59dad
22:01what have you done
22:02i only wanted to teach some dudes about the greatest game there ever was
22:05i never thought it would end like this
22:09okay in the words of every star wars character ever
22:12i have a bad feeling about this
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