- 3 months ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hello, maintenance. Is it true that the patients are sleeping on the ward?
00:07They are, because they're in a healing process.
00:10They're not in a healing process. This is a game, Richard.
00:13Shut your mouth. It's my ward, and I'm going to make sure if my patients need rest,
00:16and I'll make sure they get it.
00:18Did you just say shut your mouth?
00:20When you're ready to speak in a more civilised tone, please call me back. Thank you. Goodbye.
00:23Well, we have picked Zila. I've never heard him tell a joke.
00:31Where are the least, Farney?
00:33I think Zila might be a little bit upset.
00:36Dr Caroline, administer the medicine. Now.
00:41Hold your nose. Hold your nose!
00:44Caroline, please go away from me.
00:46Patient Sam, you have been diagnosed with chronic spineless disorder.
00:53Your doctors will soon begin administering a course of probing questions.
00:59Oh, my God.
01:06This is hell.
01:23Day 18. 10.22am.
01:40For this week's shopping task, the Big Brother house has been transformed into BB General Hospital.
01:51Morning.
01:52Bop Tim Robbie.
01:53Oh!
01:54Oh!
01:55Hospital.
01:56There she goes.
01:57Oh, this is far.
01:58You need the hospital, babe.
01:59What the hell-y-belly.
02:00Oh, my God.
02:01Oh, my gosh.
02:02Oh, my gosh.
02:03Is this an active IV drip?
02:04Because I would really like one.
02:05Oh, I love it.
02:06This is brilliant.
02:07Ugh.
02:08Housemates.
02:09Welcome to BB General Hospital.
02:10BB General Hospital.
02:11BB General is struggling in the National League table and currently carries a knee-belly-belly-belly-belly-belly-belly-belly-belly-belly-belly.
02:17Oh, my God.
02:18Oh, my God.
02:19Oh, my gosh.
02:20Is this an active IV drip?
02:21Because I would really like one.
02:22Oh, my...
02:23I love it.
02:24This is brilliant.
02:25Ugh.
02:26Housemates.
02:27Welcome to BB General Hospital.
02:28BB General is struggling in the National League table and currently carries a needs-improvement
02:41rating.
02:42Fair.
02:43To secure a luxury shopping budget this week, you must work to earn points which push BB General
02:49into the exceptional rating zone.
02:51To do this, you'll step into the roles of doctors, nurses and patients.
02:57Yeah, Caroline, please don't be a doctor.
02:59Oh, please don't be a doctor.
03:00The following housemates will become the patients.
03:04Zila.
03:06Fuck.
03:07No.
03:08Tate.
03:09Oh, of course, yeah.
03:10Nancy.
03:11Oh, my God.
03:12Elsa.
03:13Oh, God.
03:14Sam.
03:15Oh, God.
03:16And Tasia.
03:17Yay!
03:18Yay!
03:19Yay!
03:20We'll make the hospital row queue.
03:21Don't you worry.
03:22The housemates that will transform into nurses are Cameron.
03:23Yes, Cammy.
03:24Yes, Cammy.
03:25And Faisola.
03:26I'm a doctor, baby.
03:27Richard, you will take on the role of the matron.
03:40Oh, yes!
03:41Ah, OK.
03:42So, all behave yourselves, please.
03:44The housemates who will become the doctors overseeing diagnosis and treatment will be...
03:49Yeah.
03:50For goodness sake.
03:51Fuck off.
03:52It's Caroline.
03:53Marcus.
03:54Yep.
03:55I'm ready for that job.
03:56Jenny.
03:57You're so fucked.
03:58And Caroline.
04:00What the hell is it?
04:02What the hell is it?
04:04Big brother has a sense of humour because what the hell is it?
04:07Oh, this is brilliant.
04:081.34pm.
04:09The patients are getting to know each other.
04:22So, what are you in there for me?
04:25Sexy-itis.
04:26Can I catch it?
04:27I think you'll be OK.
04:28I have a kissing disease.
04:29Kissing disease.
04:30I wonder which doctor prescribes you with that?
04:34Jenny.
04:35I wanted the other one.
04:38Caroline?
04:39No.
04:40Dr Marker.
04:41Oh.
04:42He wasn't a very good doctor, trust me.
04:46The doctors have been tasked with diagnosing their patients.
04:52OK.
04:53Well, whining it is, is Sam because all he does is moan.
04:56Lazy bone syndrome is Elsa because she's never already appeared.
05:00Out of the ones that we've got there, we'd say, I would go for
05:03spineless disorder because of the nominations and he was there
05:06for about half an hour.
05:07He doesn't have the balls, do you see how he felt?
05:11He was rubbish at that.
05:12And he was doing this, and he was taking a rash up his neck.
05:15He was getting rid of his spine.
05:16Right, we'll put this in.
05:17We'll give this to you.
05:20So, out of the three left, Tasia, Nancy, Zila.
05:23Well, you've got a personality transplant.
05:25You want someone to have a better personality.
05:26Who would that be?
05:27Nancy?
05:28A whole new personality.
05:29Right, personality transplant.
05:31I'm going to Nancy and I'm giving funny bones to them too.
05:34The three of them.
05:35I'm going to say that about Nancy because of what happened to you.
05:37Are you being biased?
05:38No, I'm just, there's three people left.
05:40And if you ask me, Tasia and Zila are the funniest.
05:43This is broken funny bone.
05:45Means they're not funny.
05:46Aye, so give it to Nancy.
05:47She's not funny.
05:48I don't think any of them need a personality transplant.
05:51That's the last thing I'd give to Tasia.
05:53A personality transplant could be tight.
05:55That laugh.
05:56Oh, yeah.
05:57And he's spying this, look.
05:58Spying, yeah.
05:59Yeah.
06:00Swap whining for Tasia just because of the marks.
06:04Markers!
06:05And then...
06:06Spying disorder.
06:07Yep.
06:08Bang on.
06:09That is...
06:10Couldn't have got it any better.
06:11That's perfect now.
06:12I think it's perfect.
06:13OK.
06:141.58pm.
06:15All of the patients are asleep on the ward.
06:29PHONE RINGS
06:31Hello, who's speaking please?
06:33This is a disgrace.
06:34The patients are sleeping on the ward.
06:37Yes, they're all resting well.
06:39They're not resting.
06:40Wake them up immediately.
06:41That's yeah.
06:42Wake up!
06:44Oh!
06:45Wake up!
06:46Wake up!
06:47Wake up!
06:48He put the phone down on me.
06:50Who was it?
06:51Cameron Gay.
06:52Cameron Gay.
06:53Doctor's orders.
06:55Ooh.
06:56What are they actually doing in there?
06:58I'm ringing back again.
07:00PHONE RINGS
07:02Matron speaking.
07:06Hello, Matrons.
07:07Is it true that the patients are sleeping on the ward?
07:10Well, they were until you sent us a message that said we had to wake them up.
07:13So they're now awake.
07:14They're now awake.
07:15Perfect.
07:16Why were they?
07:17Why were they sleeping?
07:18Well, they are because they're in a healing process.
07:21This is a fucking game, Richard.
07:23They're not in a healing process.
07:25There's fuck all wrong with them.
07:26Shut your mouth.
07:27It's my ward and I'm going to make sure.
07:29If my patients need rest, then I'll make sure they get it.
07:31Did you just say shut your mouth?
07:32When you're ready to speak in a more civilised tone, please call me back.
07:36Goodbye.
07:37The doctors have come to the ward to deliver their diagnoses.
07:53Who and why have you chosen to diagnose with lazy bones?
07:59This may come as a surprise to everybody, but it's got to be Elsa.
08:04I've never seen her wash up.
08:06I've never seen her run about.
08:09Yeah, she's just the one lazy cow.
08:12Wow.
08:14The picture's nice.
08:17Dr Caroline, which two housemates have you chosen to diagnose with a broken funny bone?
08:26Well, we have picked Zila because I've never heard him tell a joke once.
08:32I can't go to the sex people.
08:35You were the least phony.
08:37Sorry.
08:39You know, I love you, but it's a triff.
08:42OK, Nancy, because her picture looks like she wants to kill someone.
08:47That's what I think.
08:49Oh, Jesus, yeah.
08:51Which patient have you diagnosed with the need to have a personality transplant?
09:00OK, unanimously.
09:02Unanimously.
09:03I was...
09:04Unanimously.
09:05This was not hard at all.
09:07At all.
09:08Tate.
09:09And the reason for Tate is that horrendous, horrendous, horrendous laugh.
09:14And also, it's just boring.
09:17Quite terrible to be around, to be honest.
09:19Dr Caroline, who have you diagnosed with whingitis?
09:24We thought all of you were a bit like that.
09:27But mainly...
09:29Tasia.
09:30So, no butt, yeah, butt, no butt, no butt.
09:33Stop!
09:34Whinge, whinge, whinge, whinge.
09:36Oh, get a life, mate.
09:37Just put it on my bed.
09:38This is proof in the pudding.
09:40Just put it on my bed, Caroline.
09:41I've had enough now.
09:42Yeah.
09:43Can you stop whinging?
09:44No.
09:45I've got a disease, clearly.
09:47Yeah.
09:48Who have you diagnosed with chronic spineless disorder?
09:53Oh!
09:54Oh!
09:55Oh!
09:56OK, we picked this person quite easily, didn't we?
09:59Yes.
10:00But we picked Sam.
10:02He's never said a bad word.
10:03And in his head, he must have some real evil there somewhere.
10:06He holds in, and we want to get it out.
10:08So, you need to grow some balls, mate.
10:10Sam, openly admitted to me the other day he doesn't have a backbone.
10:14Stunned him.
10:15Thanks, honey.
10:16You're welcome.
10:17I don't, I think Zila might be a little bit upset.
10:22Yeah, mate.
10:23Oh, fuck them.
10:24It's not even for me.
10:25Oh!
10:26Oh!
10:28Oh!
10:39Doctor, I've got this feeling deep inside of me, deep inside of me.
10:46Oh!
10:47Oh!
10:48Oh!
10:49Oh!
10:50Oh!
10:51Oh!
10:52Oh!
10:53Oh!
10:54Oh!
10:55Oh!
10:57Oh!
10:58Oh!
10:59Oh!
11:00Oh!
11:01Oh!
11:02Oh!
11:03Oh!
11:04Oh!
11:05Oh!
11:06Oh!
11:07Oh!
11:08Oh!
11:09Oh!
11:10Oh!
11:11Oh!
11:12Oh!
11:13Oh!
11:14Oh!
11:15Oh!
11:16Something else!
11:17Oh, what's something else?
11:19Oh!
11:20No juice!
11:21Did you.
11:23Aw!
11:24Oh, oh!
11:25Oh, no juice, apple juice.
11:27Wind artists, you need to load it.
11:30I haven't been treated yet.
11:31Yeah we can tell.
11:33and secure a little extra hospital funding,
11:36patients will now have the opportunity
11:39to upgrade to private healthcare.
11:42How much?
11:44Got no balls.
11:45Private healthcare comes with a range of luxurious benefits,
11:50including a gourmet feast featuring
11:53toasted artisan ciabatta sandwiches
11:57with Mediterranean metze salad and marinated olives.
12:00What? Oh, my God.
12:03Oh, I'm upgrading. I don't care how much it costs.
12:05But how many eyeballs do you guys have?
12:0615. None. I've got none.
12:09I've got nothing left.
12:11I've got 15 eyes left. I'll splash all of them if I need to.
12:15Tasia, don't rack up the prices.
12:16Sorry.
12:17An upgrade will cost you five eyes.
12:20Done. I'll do it.
12:21Done. I'll do it.
12:23Done. Done, mate.
12:24Me.
12:25Who wishes to experience the gorgeous plush perks
12:30of private healthcare?
12:32Me, me, me, me.
12:432.49pm.
12:46Matron Richard has come to speak to Big Brother.
12:50Hello, Matron.
12:51Good afternoon, BB.
12:52And how are you this fine, fine day?
12:53If you're not feeling on form,
12:55you can come and stay in my lovely hospital if you like.
12:57Richard, are doctors following doctor's etiquette?
13:01Who is the ultimate boss on,
13:03not concerning medication and diagnosis,
13:05that's for the doctors, of course,
13:06but in terms of just the running of the ward,
13:09the way patients are addressed, et cetera, et cetera,
13:11and the way they're treated,
13:12who has the final say there?
13:13I think it should be me, but I'm just checking with you.
13:18If the matron is running the ward,
13:20he should be allowed to do so
13:24without being undermined by other members of staff,
13:28just in the same way as I wouldn't even remotely dream
13:30of undermining their diagnoses
13:32or whatever medication they may prescribe.
13:34Everyone has to keep within their own sphere of operation,
13:38don't you think?
13:39Patience, Zila and Tasia are talking about Tate.
13:45As a friend, I feel like I'm getting along with him
13:47a lot more the last few days.
13:48Yeah, I feel like you guys have stuff in common as well
13:49about your fitness and that.
13:51Yeah, but something that's really important to me is like,
13:54you know, I like to know people's hand,
13:55especially with like...
13:56Yeah, and I don't know where...
13:58And also I don't have that relationship like you guys have.
14:01I'm not going to write it off
14:02because it's not to say you won't develop a relationship.
14:05Yeah.
14:05But I just don't...
14:06I've been there long enough.
14:07I can kind of see who I'm going to be tight with and who I'm not.
14:12Yeah, fair enough.
14:12I'm not open to it, do you know what I mean?
14:14Yeah.
14:14We'll just say.
14:223.10pm.
14:25Nurses Cameron and Thea Scholler
14:27are delivering lunches and upgraded luxuries.
14:31I can't eat this stuff.
14:42Oh, there's your pillow.
14:43Oh, you got a pillowcase as well?
14:45Yeah.
14:47This is worth it.
14:48This is so worth it.
14:50Eat it now.
14:51No!
14:52My spine's growing.
14:54My spine's telling me now.
14:55Eat it, tap!
14:56Buy it, buy it.
14:57Buy it.
14:58Buy it.
14:59Open some.
15:00Buy it.
15:00I'd rather die without the spine.
15:08Here comes the chain.
15:10Chew, chew, chew, chew.
15:11What do you want?
15:13I'm feeling it.
15:15There you go.
15:16That's that backbone growing.
15:17Once we get home.
15:19This is Big Brother.
15:22Would Sam come to the diary room?
15:24Absolutely.
15:24Fuckin' literally.
15:25Can you continue again?
15:27Oh, fuck off.
15:29Honestly, fuck off.
15:31Should I put that?
15:32That's a bit dangerous there.
15:33Yeah, sure.
15:34Oh, there it is.
15:38Hello, Sam.
15:41How are you feeling?
15:43Surprisingly, worse than when I entered the fucking hospital.
15:46This is hell.
15:50I've never eaten such shit food in my life.
15:54It's freezing cold.
15:56It tastes like something and my dog would sick up.
15:59I've never eaten meat of that substance, that texture in my life.
16:04It's mushy.
16:05Why is the chicken mushy?
16:07It looks like it's straight out of a tin.
16:09Like, it's giving dog food.
16:10I wouldn't be surprised if you said, ha-ha, gotcha, this is dog food.
16:14I'd be like, sure, I can buy that.
16:16This is dog food, babe.
16:17And it's not good.
16:19I can't be doing this.
16:20Like, honestly.
16:22If I wasn't ready for eviction, I'd be like, get me home now.
16:24Um, this is how.
16:344.12pm.
16:37Elsa, how are we?
16:38You've got the thousand yard stare.
16:40What is the thousand yard stare?
16:42It's like, after people have been to war, they come back and they're just zoned out.
16:46Oh, I don't...
16:48I haven't been there before.
16:51Yeah.
16:52In this life.
16:54I would have, if my army application went through.
17:00Yeah.
17:02This is Big Brother.
17:04Dr Marcus, read out the treatment plan for the lazy bones.
17:10The treatment for lazy bone syndrome comes in the form of pills, which have been proven
17:14get recipients up on their feet and moving.
17:17The pills will be delivered when you hear this medication sound.
17:24That's pretty cool.
17:24After the sound plays, the pills will begin appearing outside in the hospital grounds.
17:30The patient will have 60 seconds to collect all the pills and put them inside the medication boxes.
17:36Failure to collect and box up all the pills within 60 seconds will result in a failed treatment attempt and will cause rated points to be deducted from the final total.
17:46This is Big Brother.
17:48This is Big Brother.
17:49Dr Caroline, to treat a case of whingitis, medicine must be inserted into the patient's mouth.
17:56Administer the medicine now.
17:57No!
17:58No!
17:59It fucking stinks!
18:00Oh, my God.
18:01I can't.
18:02Hold your nose.
18:03Hold your nose.
18:04Hold your nose.
18:05Come on.
18:06It's good.
18:07It's not going to hurt.
18:08Oh, my God.
18:09Talk to me!
18:10Come on.
18:11Come on.
18:12Come on.
18:13Now, now.
18:14Right.
18:15No, she's...
18:16Look.
18:17Can't.
18:18Oh, y'all!
18:19She hit me in the eye.
18:20It's on her cheek.
18:21Oh, no.
18:22She's crying.
18:23I'm not doing it.
18:24I can't do it.
18:25Do you want to do it or not?
18:26Come on.
18:27Head back.
18:28One, two, three.
18:29All over my pajamas.
18:30Wait.
18:31Too late.
18:32Tasia.
18:33Tasia!
18:34Tasia!
18:35Tasia!
18:36Tasia!
18:37Tasia!
18:38Tasia!
18:39Tasia!
18:40Tasia!
18:41Tasia!
18:42Tasia!
18:43Tasia!
18:44Tasia!
18:45Tasia!
18:46Tasia!
18:47Tasia!
18:49Tasia!
18:50Tasia!
18:51Tasia!
18:52Tasia!
18:53Tasia!
18:56Wow!
18:57Unbelievable!
18:58Wow!
18:59Didn't taste as bad, did it?
19:01Well done.
19:02That was unbelievable.
19:04Honestly, well done.
19:05Have some more.
19:06She took one for the team there.
19:08Well done, Tasia.
19:09Fantastic, Tasia.
19:11All right.
19:12Broken Funny Bone Treatments.
19:14The treatment consists of the patient wearing the following...
19:17Clown wig, clown makeup.
19:20Not on my beard, Jenny.
19:21Oh, fuck this, man.
19:23Clown nose.
19:24Ow.
19:25Is everyone clear?
19:27Yeah, clowns are kind of terrifying.
19:29They're kind of.
19:365.19 PM.
19:41Do you want to go outside from fresh air?
19:43I think you need to.
19:44Caroline, please go away from me.
19:46Please.
19:46I had to do it.
19:47You said you didn't need to.
19:48I said don't do it.
19:49You didn't need to squirt all over me.
19:52But you wouldn't go in your mouth.
19:53So you squirted it all over me because it wouldn't go in my mouth.
19:56Explain it.
19:56I just tried to get in my mouth.
19:58You were laughing at the first bit.
19:59No, it wasn't funny.
20:02God, whingy.
20:05Trouble again.
20:07Big trouble again.
20:08Oh.
20:13It's time to get away from it.
20:15It should be better if she just refused it all.
20:17Yeah.
20:18I'm not doing that.
20:20I'm going to go.
20:21Yeah, I'm going to go.
20:22Wait, wait, wait.
20:23Let's just at least try and...
20:25Bro, I don't care the task as far as well.
20:28I know you don't task as far as well.
20:29You're not.
20:30You're not.
20:31Oh, hang on.
20:32Stop.
20:33Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
20:34Stop, stop, stop.
20:35We're going to fail, because you're at.
20:36Hello.
20:45Hello, Teja.
20:46How are you?
20:47Why the fuck?
20:48I'm...
20:49I actually can't talk because I'm too angry.
20:52Caroline, she was obviously just too syringe-happy, just squirting everywhere.
20:58My whole bed stinks.
20:59My pyjama stinks.
21:00It's in my hair.
21:01I'm actually so fuming.
21:03Oh, my God.
21:05I love Caroline, but she just gets too into things sometimes.
21:09Okay, yeah, maybe...
21:10It wasn't her intention, probably, to squirt everywhere and make me stink.
21:14She probably wasn't thinking, because she doesn't think very much.
21:17So, she was just thinking, let me just squirt it and try and get it in her mouth,
21:21which is just not a good approach, because squirting it all over me
21:25is not going to make me drink it.
21:27I don't care if it was accident, but I stink.
21:29And now nobody's getting a luxury, because I'm crying and I'm whinging,
21:33because I stink.
21:36She needs to never speak to me again.
21:47This is Big Brother Tate.
22:12You have been diagnosed as requiring a full personality transplant.
22:17It's now the doctor's task to carefully remove your undesirable traits
22:22to improve your overall personality.
22:25Two doctors at a time must pick up one of the bad personality traits.
22:31The aim is to work together to move the surgery tool along the wire
22:35without hitting a nerve.
22:37If you touch the wire and hit a nerve, the light will flash
22:41and the patient will experience pain.
22:44Doctors, you have a limited time to complete the procedure.
22:47The procedure starts now.
22:50Right, let's do it.
22:51Gentle, gentle.
22:53Oh, shit, they can't touch that.
22:57Are you all right, mate?
22:58Yeah, sound, mate.
22:59Oh!
23:00Fuck!
23:01Oh!
23:02Fuck!
23:03I'd rather it was me here than Marcus.
23:04He'd be squealing like a little piggy.
23:06Oh!
23:07Are you all right, Tate?
23:08Yeah, so much above.
23:09OK.
23:10You don't hurt my Tate.
23:11I don't want him useless.
23:12Speed through it.
23:13Even if you burst out, I'm more harsh.
23:14Just speed through it, speed through it.
23:15Oh, no!
23:16Woo!
23:17We're nearly there now, mate!
23:19Welcome back!
23:20Oh!
23:21Oh!
23:22How was that?
23:23Yeah, easy, mate.
23:24Thought it was all.
23:25Your time starts now.
23:27Oh, here we go!
23:29Oh!
23:30Oh!
23:31Oh!
23:32Oh, my God!
23:34Are you OK, Tate?
23:35Are you all right?
23:36Jason!
23:37Fucking take it out of the way!
23:39Fuck's sake!
23:40What are you doing?
23:41Yay!
23:42You got this.
23:43Slow and steady Wednesdays.
23:44Don't drag it.
23:45Don't drag it.
23:46Are you all right?
23:47Don't drag it!
23:48That was interesting.
23:50Ah!
23:51Well done.
23:52This is Big Brother.
23:53Well done, Patient Tate.
23:56You have successfully completed your transplant and now have a shiny new personality.
24:02Yay!
24:03Hell yeah.
24:04Needed.
24:05Oh!
24:06I forgot we had a phone.
24:07Hello.
24:08BB General Hospital.
24:09Would you do us a big favour, please?
24:10We need three cups of tea.
24:11OK.
24:12Two with oat milk.
24:13Just a splash.
24:14Not too much oat milk.
24:15OK.
24:16No problem.
24:17Thank you so much.
24:18And also...
24:19Be as quick as you can.
24:20How's your food?
24:21How's your food?
24:22Of course it's not fucking food.
24:23They want teas.
24:24They want teas.
24:25Oh, just a couple of teas?
24:26Yeah.
24:27All right.
24:28If we do get the economy, then we will make sure they have the worst food.
24:32They can have uncooked chicken.
24:33Yeah.
24:34And they can just have...
24:35Wheater bricks with no...
24:36Nothing on it.
24:37With water.
24:38This is the longest cup of tea ever.
24:39I know.
24:40Ring them again, Marcus.
24:41Yeah.
24:42Go on, Marcus.
24:43Can you say, what the fuck's up?
24:44Well, don't swear, please.
24:45I say, what's the fucking old up?
24:46No, don't.
24:47No, don't.
24:48No, don't.
24:49No, don't.
24:50No, don't.
24:51No, don't.
24:52No, don't.
24:53No, don't.
24:54No, don't.
24:55No, don't.
24:56No, don't.
24:57No, don't.
24:58No, don't.
24:59No, don't.
25:00No, don't.
25:01No, don't.
25:02No, don't.
25:03OK, what's the fucking old up?
25:04No, don't.
25:05It's where?
25:06Oh.
25:11Sorry.
25:12Good evening.
25:14Can I have an ETA on the cups of tea, please?
25:18At this moment, we can't leave the ward because there aren't
25:22enough personnel here at this time.
25:24They can come and get it.
25:25Oh, but she's saying if you are feeling sufficiently energetic,
25:29you can always come and fetch it yourself.
25:31It's sitting here ready for you.
25:32No, no.
25:33That won't be necessary.
25:34We will wait.
25:35He can't always work.
25:36What did he say all that time?
25:38There's only two...
25:39Oh, it's job's worth.
25:41...nurses in the ward at the moment, so therefore they have to wait
25:45until they're all back inside.
25:47I wonder why they're always on strike.
25:49It's because they don't want to go to work.
25:51When do the doctors ever go on strike?
25:54They're fucking always on strike.
25:55Yeah, that's...
25:56That's a trained.
25:57Patient Tears is in the diary room.
26:03How is life on the ward?
26:04Life on the ward is good.
26:06I feel like I've done my bit through suffering.
26:09How are your other patients coping?
26:11Well, they all smell a lot.
26:14A couple of brokies in the ward as well that I think are a bit jealous of us rich guys.
26:19Tasia, despite being part of the members club, is not coping very well.
26:24The phrase, you can lead a horse to water, comes to mind.
26:27You can only help the sick if they want to be helped.
26:30And Tasia, it would seem, did not want to be cured of wingitis.
26:33Carolyn tried to step in and forcibly cure her.
26:37And, yeah, it all went downhill from there.
26:40I think the winging might carry on.
26:44Depends on if she's got the smell out of her new silk jammies.
26:48All the work we've just done, we can't even get a cup of tea.
26:53And it's going cold out there.
26:55Can you ring up again, please?
26:57Come on. I'll ring up.
26:59Ring up, Carolyn, and I'm telling you give it to them.
27:01If it's that stupid matron.
27:03Give it to them, I.
27:05Oh, here we go.
27:07General Hospital Towers.
27:11Is that matron?
27:12Yes.
27:13Can we have our teas now, please?
27:15We cannot leave.
27:16I don't want to listen to your excuses any more, matron.
27:19Don't laugh, either.
27:21What's the matter with you? It's only a cup of tea.
27:25It's not good enough, this hospital.
27:27We save lives.
27:28We need to have our teas.
27:29The most important thing is to keep the doctors supplied and happy.
27:33See if these teas are freezing, I'm telling you, I'm throwing them around.
27:437.40pm.
27:45The cafeteria is now closed.
27:52What I'd like to know is the rundown on the patients.
27:55Can you just give me a quick rundown on everybody?
27:57Yes, OK.
27:58Well, bed number one is Sam.
28:00He is still awaiting his procedure, but he's in good spirits about it.
28:03He's looking forward to getting it all sorted out and back on the road to recovery.
28:08Tate is in bed number two and he is delighted to have completed his procedure.
28:12His personality is streets ahead of what it used to be and he's in good spirits.
28:18Bed number three is Nancy.
28:19Excuse me, excuse me.
28:20Can you start again?
28:21Managed to keep smiling and walking in a funny, cloudy way.
28:22Maton!
28:23Maton!
28:24Maton!
28:25Yes?
28:26I want you to start again, slowly and loud.
28:28Right.
28:29Bed one.
28:30Sam.
28:31He is looking forward to his procedure and is in good spirits about it.
28:43Bed two.
28:44Tate.
28:45His personality is streets ahead of what it used to be and he also is in good spirits.
28:50Bed three.
28:51Nancy, who is recovering extremely well from her medication.
28:56Just give me the last bit again, please.
28:59Why?
29:00Because Marcus didn't write it down.
29:03He's just been drawing pictures.
29:04Can you start again, please?
29:06And this will be the last one, I promise.
29:08I will do it again, but this will be the last and final time.
29:11Do you understand?
29:12I understand very well.
29:13Off you go.
29:14Bed number one is Sam.
29:16He is looking forward to his procedure and is in good spirits about it.
29:22Have you written that down?
29:24No.
29:25Could you repeat again?
29:28Is this the last bit?
29:29No, no, no.
29:30I've told you several times now and I'm not going to go do it again.
29:34Stop messing this up, matron.
29:37It's not me who's messing it up, so shut your face.
29:39Don't you tell me to shut my face?
29:41I will, I will.
29:42And he won't open it again until I give you permission.
29:44Oh, shut up.
29:45Don't hurry on.
29:46Is Teja, who has, as you know, had a rather traumatic experience with the medicine in the first stage.
29:54Sorry, can you repeat that?
29:55The very last bit you said, just the very last sentence.
30:00No, no, you've heard it enough times now.
30:03Goodbye.
30:04I think that's enough.
30:06I think we've got him to the absolute edge.
30:07That'll spring that.
30:08Very good point.
30:09Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
30:14Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
30:17Save, save, save, save, save, save.
30:20Good girl.
30:21Open them all, open them all, open them all.
30:23Go, go, go, go, go.
30:24Oh.
30:25Go, go, go.
30:26You got this, you got this.
30:29She's on the case, it's all right.
30:30Yeah.
30:31We forgot one.
30:32We did.
30:33OK.
30:34Go go for it.
30:35Got it.
30:36Oh, my God.
30:37OK.
30:38Oh.
30:39Oh, demon.
30:40Pills and boxes.
30:41We've got to get them.
30:43I can't even leave my hospital.
30:46Oh, my God.
30:47OK.
30:48Oh.
30:49Oh, demon.
30:50Pills and boxes.
30:52We've got to get them.
30:55I can't even leave my hospital.
30:58Oh, my hospital.
30:59Oh, bad.
31:00Ah.
31:01Ah.
31:02Ah.
31:098.54 PM.
31:15Big Brother has gathered Sam and the doctors for his procedure.
31:24Oh, there we go.
31:25No.
31:26No.
31:27There's Big Brother.
31:28Oh.
31:29OK.
31:30Oh, my God.
31:32It's not Ended.
31:33worst.
31:34OK.
31:35It totally doesn't sweat.
31:36OK.
31:37to treat your condition you will now undergo a procedure designed to help you grow a healthy
31:46backbone your doctors will soon begin administering a course of probing questions
31:54you must respond with full frank and honest answers oh my god
32:02sure jam sure if your responses show confidence and conviction your backbone will begin to grow
32:12on the doctor's monitor so i'm just be honest fuck it doctors you should now read the questions
32:20aloud to the patient which asked me is the best game player i think the best game player in the
32:27house is richard richard's gone in and thought of himself and it's coming to get the most
32:32eyeballs and that's been the most effective and he's not been afraid to undercut people or snitch
32:38on people to get there he's in it for himself he's in it to be selfish and he couldn't wait to take
32:44the rest of caroline's balls away from her sam stand still while your backbone is x-rayed
32:50oh that's good which housemates approval means the most to the people in the house
33:04um come on backbone i'm gonna say faceola um i think faceola does a good job of taking charge
33:14of things in the house whether it's cooking or shopping or whatever it is so people are more
33:18likely to want to get her approval and an opinion as opposed to somebody else's because she's quite
33:22headstrong and um has quite thought through opinions so i think getting approval from her probably means
33:29more to most people than others i'd say that's for her me too i think that's yeah i think that's good
33:35oh that's not great oh my god we're gonna lose this um come on i'm saying all there is to say
33:47no you're not i still think you can go harder than that which asked me is the most annoying to live
33:51with this is giving me anxiety i'm gonna go with caroline caroline's the most annoying to live
33:58with because she wakes up in the morning loud and singing and jumping about doesn't care what else
34:03feels if they're tired if they had a bad sleep or not caroline's the first one get the wine and hide
34:08it for everybody else in the rest of the house doesn't care if she gets them or not she's very selfish
34:12like that she's in it for herself she's also the the only person i can think of that's been the most
34:16defensive to some people in the house in the house and um taking all richard's balls and she knew
34:21um it would bankrupt him she didn't care about that either won't trust caroline i wouldn't live
34:25with her again um living with her has been the hardest thing about being this whole process to be
34:29honest who do you think is the most easily influenced in the house it's going to be one of the
34:40quite people like you or me i think i'm going to say the easiest influence in the house is tasia
34:45because she's the youngest i think she's the most impressionable i think she's more willing to go
34:49along with the crowd than to stick to her own opinion um and i think maybe she finds more comfort
34:56in siding with fashola and zila in a situation opposed to standing up for herself in a tough situation
35:01oh one it was a bit soft i know but but you need to be brought on this one okay who would you
35:13diagnose as the most delusional in the house okay i'm gonna go with jenny i basically was just thinking
35:22like what's jenny short for and it's not short for genuine that's for sure jenny's the most delusional
35:27she thinks she'll be the most successful out of here because she's already doing really really
35:30well and i think she thinks she will get a landslide to the final because of me and nancy
35:38fucking up this week and doing the whole codename thing so i think maybe we'll play off that
35:42and use it to help get further in the competition
35:46we did it
36:00nine fifty one pm the doctors are debriefing on sam's procedure
36:30if anyone gets upset over that then they're twats sorry they never they never even said
36:35anything well bad and to be fair you took the fucking you had he he said the most about you
36:41he said the most about you and then me i was second i did no one else can be offended if you're not
36:46taking offense to it because i don't know yeah but i would yeah i'd never take offense well exactly so
36:50if you're taking it like a no they're different to me and everything you said was right
36:57fucked what was it like i wasn't like
37:04did anything go down badly
37:05no all of them were good all of them were fine
37:10yeah we've got to complete it just remain so
37:12i know yeah literally you've done well
37:17yeah i don't know what i would have said
37:19i know i'm more upset asia
37:22no how are you feeling today's your sound yeah well you have to you have to say it but i had to say sunday
37:29yeah but like i'm glad i've heard that no they've had to say what they had to say
37:34yeah
37:4110 20 pm big brother has gathered the housemates to reveal the results of this week's shopping task
37:51inspector jenna i'll inspect you oh i like this corner this is big brother today housemates were
38:00challenged to improve the performance of big brother's general hospital by earning rating
38:06points to reach an exceptional standard of care at the end of a busy shift on the ward big brother can
38:15reveal that patient tate earned 30 rating points by completing his personality transplant
38:24patient sam earned 30 rating points by growing a backbone in his spineless syndrome treatment
38:37did what i had to do as the other patients successfully completed their treatments
38:42they have gained a further 20 points
38:45however points were lost for poor staff performance oh dr marcus took bedside manner too far
39:00by engaging in flirtatious relations with patients no it doesn't mean we failed it doesn't mean we failed
39:07dr caroline showed poor bedside manner by carelessly administering patient tasia's wingitis medicine
39:14dr jenny showed unprofessionalism by shouting at staff members over the phone
39:21jenny sorry nurse cameron was seen sleeping on the job in a patient's bed
39:27i reckon we still got nurses also failed to keep the nurses station manned with two members of staff
39:35at all times meaning the medical staff only earned five of the 20 points on offer for completing their
39:43duties to a proper standard yeah sorry guys that's their fault therefore out of a possible 100
39:50rating points big brothers general hospital finished with a score of 85 out of 100. that's good
39:58that's good that's good yeah that's good that's a first at uni dr marcus open the envelope and reveal
40:04the score required for an exceptional rating this is big brother housemates congratulations you have earned
40:32yourselves a luxury shopping budget
40:5511 46 pm
40:56tiasia and elsa are in the bedroom i literally feel so good now that we've got luxury i was thinking
41:03imagine if i got that all over me for nothing well to be fair that wasn't your fault yeah
41:10she come on very strong yeah like she was grabbing your face and forcing you and everything yeah
41:15i can't believe we needed 85 and we got 85. i know it's amazing even like that thing like that sam had to do
41:26um obviously like i didn't agree with the reasons i thought it was cop-out or whatever
41:31he had to say someone so i'm not going to hold it against him or be pressed about it you just don't know
41:35me anyway i don't need validation from the invalid and he's invalid to me because you're not one of my
41:40close people i don't i don't value really your opinion like that nancy and caroline are talking
41:46about tate i was surprised that he didn't nominate me like i thought it would have been the easiest
41:51cop-out for him to go i'm voting sam for this and voting nancy how do you know he didn't oh because
41:56he voted for tasia oh yeah i thought we can't talk about that it was face to face so i don't know
42:04like it's fair that he said it was because of the logic and that's why he didn't nominate
42:10it was a cop-out that's why we called him spine not spanish but he said he needs a personality thing
42:14because he's a cry baby he's a pussy i can see that yeah he's a pussy i still like him though because
42:21i love him i think he's fantastic i love him i love marcus oh yeah no i absolutely adore him
42:27they've come in here and they've they've had the best time i know but that's the thing like
42:31unfortunately it's so easy for guys to be like that yeah sam was saying um for shola was like
42:38in a nice way was you know does everything yeah hooks and all that i just said i said she's she's
42:45she's the alpha woman but i keep saying alpha woman with the disciples which is not a horrible
42:51thing to say nope cameron's sweet as anything god he's so sweet but he needs to stop lying on my bed
43:05like i'm sorry he lies in your bed he lies on my bed without the covers
43:10oh and his pants a lot a lot of the time are quite down yep and her shoes on
43:241 32 a.m elsa has come to the diary room from laying in bed thinking about what to eat now we
43:35struggled a week thinking about what to eat now luxury what we have won now as a team we
43:48succeeded how you say luxury budget we have succeed did it
44:00zila and sam are in the bathroom i do not really appreciate you as much in the frame by the way
44:08just as nancy no completely i know that i haven't spoken too much in the park as much in the last
44:14few days i'm both just like there's been a lot going on i wasn't questioning our friendship at all
44:18but i was like it was genuinely just like well i think you have the whole thing with jenny yeah and
44:23that and because that night a lot of us went to comfort jenny because of the nature of it in that
44:30situation of course she was hurt but there's also like i should have consciously made the effort to
44:35have reassured you which i didn't do so i'm sorry i'm glad you said it because it made me feel like
44:40a lot like thank god i want to say my head john man you know it completely like a real thanks yeah
44:43well regardless what happens on friday either you're still here and you know we're we have time and i
44:49make sure that of course like i won't be able to fill the void that nancy leaves but i'm here for you
44:56oh my god which of your housemates looked the best in their outfits
45:08oh i think everyone looked good but i thought especially marcus and how was dr caroline
45:16oh well i'd say unprofessional because forcefully feeding medicine flirting with patients being
45:30bossy with patients and obviously i think well she made me feel quite uncomfortable today seeing how she
45:37manhandled tasia i don't think she thinks anything through and she's obviously quite obnoxious
45:43if that's the right word and i was getting quite close of caroline but i guess we'll just have to
45:50see in these few weeks and if she keeps behaving in that way then she doesn't care about anyone or how they
45:58feel nancy and sam face the public vote but what the housemates don't know is this week there's no
46:09eviction instead one housemate will be fake evicted and sent to a secret room to live with two former
46:19housemates who goes into that room you decide to vote for the housemate you want to go into the secret
46:27room go online or scan the qr code the housemate with the most votes will be sent to the secret room
46:36voting's free and you can vote up to five times the vote clauses in friday's shore
47:06so
47:18you
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