- 2 months ago
Chikara Pro Wrestling was a very silly promotion until it wasn't but once upon a time they produced one of the most legendary matches of all time when Ken The Box took on The Mecha Mummy, but is it the Worst Match Ever? Let's find out!
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Youtube Channel Comments Policy
We appreciate the comments and opinions our viewers provide. Do note that all comments are subject to YouTube auto-moderation and manual moderation review. We encourage opinions and discussion, but harassment, hate speech, bullying and other abusive posts will not be tolerated. Decisions on comment removal are made by the Community Manager. Please email us at [email protected] with any questions or concerns.
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FunTranscript
00:00Let's get in the box!
00:02No! No! Get in the box!
00:07He can't be a box!
00:10My name is Luke Owen and I love bad wrestling.
00:14Join me on my journey through a cavalcade of crapness,
00:17watching what many believe to be the worst wrestling matches of all time
00:22to make my friends and you fall in love with bad wrestling too.
00:26This is my quest to find the worst match ever.
00:34Welcome to Worst Match Ever,
00:36where we're on the search for the worst wrestling match of all time
00:39and by its very definition, the best worst wrestling match of all time.
00:44I'm going to go in DAD, this is Tempest.
00:46Oh, I forgot my mask.
00:49That's Sullivan.
00:50Hello.
00:51And previously, we decided that Volkov and Sheik versus the Bushwhackers
00:57was both the best and worst.
00:58Yes!
00:59Because it's a new series!
01:00We need to find if our next match is going to go above or below this.
01:05Now, I only know this match that we're going to do today through infamy.
01:11And I don't know if it's got it in for me, but we'll soon find out.
01:15Tempest, why don't you tell us what we're going to be watching today?
01:19Chikara Pro Wrestling was a silly promotion created in 2002
01:22and filled with Ice Cream Men, Hypnotic Snakes, and Eddie Kingston.
01:25And it was good for a laugh until 2020 when the laughs abruptly stopped.
01:29The match you're about to see is possibly the most ridiculous match the promotion ever put on
01:33from the final of the King of Trios tournament in 2007.
01:36This match between Mokujin Ken, AKA Ken the Box, and the Mecha Mummy
01:39has gone down as one of the most ludicrous wrestling matches in history,
01:43but is it the worst match ever?
01:45Let's find out.
01:46Why is he called Ken the Box?
01:48Oh.
01:49Oh, you'll find out, Solomon.
01:50You'll find out, Solomon.
01:51You'll find out.
01:52Oh, yeah.
01:53Oh, I can't wait.
01:54Why spoil the surprise?
01:57Right out of the gate, referee Bryce Remsberg.
01:59Yeah.
02:00There we go.
02:01Fantastic.
02:02With a full head of hair.
02:03Full head of hair.
02:04Yeah.
02:05It's weird when you see, you know, but when people see old videos,
02:07me and I've got hair.
02:09I have the same thing with Claudio.
02:11As long as Claudio with hair, I'm like, who are you?
02:13Yeah.
02:14Here we go.
02:15Our first participant.
02:16Who's it going to be?
02:17Is it going to be Ken the Box?
02:18I want to see Ken the Box so much.
02:20I want to see Ken the Box.
02:24I don't even care about Mecha Mummy.
02:26And Mecha Mummy has an objectively more interesting name, but...
02:30Ken the Box!
02:31No!
02:32Ken the Box!
02:33No!
02:34Ken the Box!
02:35He can't be a Box!
02:40He's a Box!
02:41He's a Box!
02:42He's a Box!
02:43He's a Box!
02:44This is a bit...
02:45And there's the Bushwacker in disguise.
02:47He's doing the thing!
02:48He's doing the thing!
02:49He's doing the thing!
02:50That's the only thing he can do!
02:52Someone...
02:53He is a Box?
02:54He's a Box!
02:55He's a Tree!
02:56He's a Tree?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Is he a Box or a Tree?
02:59He's a Tree from Tekken, right?
03:00Yeah!
03:01Yeah!
03:02He's that guy!
03:03He looks a little bit also like the Tree from Kirby as well.
03:08He did a blow on you with Super Smash Brothers!
03:11I wonder if I could see Yoshi jumping around him!
03:15The two young boys just making sure he doesn't trip!
03:22That is a guy that was just like,
03:23I've not done anything for a while.
03:25Better do the hands again!
03:27What?
03:28What?
03:29Don't follow him!
03:30Go this way!
03:31What is Ken the Box?
03:32Well...
03:33Why has he got a bird on him?
03:34Because he's a tree!
03:35Because he's a tree!
03:36Is he a box or a tree?
03:37Why doesn't he...
03:38Woohoo!
03:39He doesn't care!
03:42He doesn't care what he is!
03:44What gave him life?
03:45Why is he crying blood?
03:46Why is he crying blood?
03:48Blood?
03:49Blood.
03:50Blood.
03:51I'm sure there's a reason.
03:53If you were a living tree, you'd be...
03:55You'd be crying blood, wouldn't you?
03:57Kill me!
03:59Why do you make me live?
04:01You make me wrestle!
04:03He also very clearly can't see,
04:05so I just walked into the tech and go,
04:07Whoa!
04:08Whoa!
04:09Turn him this way!
04:10Wait for it!
04:11There!
04:12This is the worst thing in the world!
04:19This is horrendous!
04:21Sullivan, this is just the entrance!
04:23I know!
04:24I know!
04:25He's gone on for so long as well!
04:27Much like we said in the last episode.
04:29This video's only ten minutes long.
04:34What gave him life?
04:36That's what I want to know!
04:38Why...
04:39Why is he able to do any of this?
04:43But also, what a pro!
04:44Get out all four sides of the ring to make sure everyone gets hit into your torn.
04:48Oh no, no, no, Luke.
04:49He's looking for a way in the ring.
04:52Walked around one side,
04:54There's no stairs over here.
04:57Let me check the other side.
04:58No!
04:59Where's that handler going?
05:01Where's that kid in the beanie?
05:02He's supposed to help me out here.
05:04How's he going to get in anyway?
05:06Because the box is so big.
05:07He won't be able to get through the rope.
05:09Look, they're copying it!
05:12It's getting over!
05:13He's getting over!
05:15I just...
05:16He can't get in!
05:18He can't get in the ring!
05:20He can't...
05:22If wrestling isn't real, explain this.
05:25Yeah!
05:27Oh, thanks Bryce!
05:29It doesn't help!
05:30I can't bend my knee!
05:32He can't get in for so many reasons!
05:35There are so many...
05:37I mean, does he look at the table and think,
05:39Oh no!
05:40That was my cousin?
05:41I'm sure he can't put anyone through a table!
05:46Don't be wrong!
05:47It's like cannibalism!
05:48Soon I shall become this table!
05:52And he goes,
05:53Ah, f*** it!
05:54He's not getting in the ring!
05:55Guess not!
05:56Cut away to someone else!
05:58I'll just get a bit of mecha mummy out here, yes!
06:00Okay, so mecha mummy.
06:01What's going on there?
06:02So, is it an Egyptian mummy?
06:05I presume?
06:07It's not a mecha mother.
06:09Yeah, it's not a Karen.
06:10No.
06:11It's...
06:12Little poofs of fog.
06:14Oh, here he comes!
06:15Here he comes!
06:16What the f*** is this?!
06:19He's got a drill!
06:24So the only things that make him mecha are his right arm...
06:30And all the metal on him!
06:32And...
06:33Okay, okay.
06:34Now I can see...
06:35So he's not really a mummy, actually.
06:37Well, he is.
06:38He's a mecha mummy.
06:39Where's the...
06:40He's got his hair out!
06:41He's...
06:42He's wrapped up in bandages.
06:43Not his hair, though!
06:44They didn't wrap up his hair!
06:45It's too flowing!
06:46It's too flowing to wrap up!
06:49Oh, he's just dropped the drill!
06:50He doesn't need a drill!
06:51Well, it's very dangerous on a tree!
06:53Yeah, that's very true.
06:54That's very true.
06:55F***ing Doomfist, someone on the watch, has just shown up.
07:02He's just holding that drill!
07:04The wibbly wobbliness of that big fist as well.
07:08Well, you've got to build up to the drill!
07:11That's what happened!
07:13But it so clearly doesn't spin as well.
07:17There we go!
07:18Ding, ding, ding!
07:19The match is on!
07:20We're not getting this in the ring.
07:21Oh!
07:22Oh!
07:23F***ing hell!
07:24Oh!
07:25That was devastating!
07:27Ken, the box is getting absolutely bulletin!
07:31He's dented him!
07:32Look how much that was!
07:33Oh no!
07:34F***ing hell!
07:35F***ing Groot just hit a headbutt!
07:38Don't knock the head too much, it'll come off!
07:41So this is really a boxing match at this point as well.
07:44It's not really a wrestling match.
07:46I'll Ken the boxing match.
07:47Hey!
07:53Alright guys, that's the whole match.
07:55We're going home.
07:56I mean, this is...
07:57He keeps adjusting their head.
08:00And they're both just no-selling every single punch as well.
08:03Well, if you punched a tree, I bet it would no-sell.
08:06Oh, I f***ed him on the head!
08:10And if you punch that...
08:11Oh!
08:12Oh no!
08:13Oh, so he's lost his giant fist.
08:14Oh, he's taking the bird!
08:15Not the bird!
08:16No!
08:17No!
08:18He needs that!
08:19That's the thing that gave him life!
08:20Oh!
08:21He's putting it in his little compartment!
08:22He's going to ingest it!
08:23He's got a little compartment!
08:25It powers him!
08:26I didn't realise Mechamere is powered by birds!
08:30It's going to make him stronger!
08:32Conceiving birds in his compartment!
08:34Well, it's not going to be much effect though, because...
08:36Get in the box here!
08:37Oh!
08:38Body shot!
08:39This isn't actually too unsimilar to the Bushwhackers match.
08:43People are just running into punches!
08:46And I mean, one of them can only go like this!
08:50I'm telling you, there's a Bushwhacker in that box!
08:54Mechamere's had enough, he's going to go buy some merch!
08:57And one of them can't even get in the ring!
09:00This is...
09:01This is...
09:02I threw the giant fist!
09:04You know what?
09:06That's innovative!
09:07I like it!
09:08He's throwing it again!
09:09He's getting it again!
09:10Working it back to the ring now!
09:14He's backing him up!
09:16He's giving him a cuddle!
09:17No, no box!
09:18This way!
09:19Cut me this way, sir!
09:21He's just battering him!
09:26I'm crying!
09:28Get in the box and just turn around in circles for no reason!
09:32He's confused as to what to do next!
09:35What do I do?
09:36I've been battered!
09:37If you go the other way, you undizzy yourself!
09:40Oh, that's very good!
09:42Where's the mummy gone?
09:45Where has the mummy gone?
09:46Where is Mechamummy?
09:47Oh no!
09:48No, Mechamummy!
09:49No, don't do it!
09:50Mechamummy's on top!
09:52Projectile!
09:53It's a ranged weapon too!
09:56It's devastated from up there!
10:00Oh, he's going to jump on him, but he hasn't!
10:03Just threw his fist at him!
10:05At least he hit him!
10:07Yeah, that's true!
10:08It would be worse if he missed!
10:10His head has moved, so now any sight that he had is entirely gone!
10:15He's trying to run away!
10:17Oh, look!
10:18There's Mechamummy!
10:19He's had enough!
10:20Look at him!
10:21He's got the drill!
10:22Oh no!
10:23Oh no!
10:24The natural enemy of a tree!
10:26It spins!
10:27Oh, it does spin if you make it spin yourself!
10:31Oh no!
10:32He's getting pinballed!
10:33Oh my god!
10:34Oh, no!
10:35Oh, no!
10:36Look at this!
10:37It's a fan!
10:38No!
10:39Not again!
10:40It's a murder!
10:41Oh my god!
10:42It's a murder!
10:43No!
10:44Murder's not legal at wrestling!
10:45Bryce, do something!
10:46Do something, Bryce!
10:47For God's sake, Bryce!
10:48Disguided by him!
10:49Remsburg, you're in charge here!
10:50Stop the match!
10:51Ken, do you quit?
10:52Oh, he's going to check Ken!
10:53He's in the arms!
10:54He's checking his pulse!
10:55He's just trying!
10:56Is Remsburg helping?
10:57What are you doing?
10:58What are you doing?
10:59What are you doing?
11:00What are you doing?
11:01What are you doing?
11:02What are you doing?
11:03What are you doing?
11:04What are you doing?
11:05What are you doing?
11:06Is Remsburg helping?
11:07What are you doing, Remsburg?
11:08I don't know why!
11:09He's got a lighter in his hands!
11:10Yeah!
11:11Oh my god!
11:12I think he's setting him on fire!
11:14I think Remsburg's helping here!
11:16Yeah!
11:17Oh no!
11:18Remsburg!
11:19No!
11:20He absolutely is helping!
11:21Oh, look at that blazing fire!
11:23Look at the sparks from the drill!
11:25So is Bryce in on this?
11:27Oh!
11:28Oh!
11:29There it is!
11:30That's the bell!
11:31Mecca Mummy is the winner!
11:32Winner of the match by way of murder!
11:33And the referee helping!
11:34He didn't need the help of a referee in a giant drill!
11:35Oh man!
11:36He was doing just fine all by himself!
11:37Oh my god!
11:38There we are!
11:39I think we all thought that Ken the Box was going to win, but...
11:54This is what people on Twitter think AEW is!
12:01Yeah!
12:02Yeah!
12:03Yeah!
12:04The people who really hate AEW, they think this is what it is!
12:07Yeah!
12:08This is very true!
12:09Oh no, let's drag the carcass back through the curtain!
12:12Ken the Box is all elite!
12:15Let me tell you, I would pop so f***ing hard!
12:19If Ken the Box came out!
12:21If dark elevations still existed!
12:24Run it back!
12:26Run it back!
12:27So, you know, with the Bushbackers versus Volkov and the Iron Sheik, it was people who
12:35were just too old, really.
12:37In this case, it's somebody who... it's impossible for them to wrestle!
12:42Before, they were just too old!
12:44Here, they were just too not human!
12:47One of them is a box!
12:50One of them is an actual box!
12:52And the other one was a Mecha Mummy!
12:54It was a Mecha Mummy, which is questionable how much of a mummy this Mecha Mummy was!
12:59What?!
13:00I'm sorry, there were...
13:01That's the thing you take objection to in this one!
13:04What happened to the bird?!
13:07We never saw the bird again!
13:09We never saw the bird again!
13:10It powered Mecha Mummy to victory!
13:12But Mecha Mummy, right...
13:14Okay, I'd be surprised if he's still got a brain, and mummies don't have brains because
13:19they took them out of the nose!
13:20I knew that from primary school, thank you very much!
13:22So, Sullivan, are you saying this is better or worse than the Bushwhackers?
13:26It's less historically accurate!
13:28This is not what would happen if a mummy fought a tree!
13:33I love it, it's like it's more a story going, than the Soviet Union and Iran teaming up together
13:38to fight some Australians!
13:40Neil, you can uncover your eyes, they're not Australians, they're New Zealanders!
13:45I think...
13:47I think...
13:48Oh, it's hard to judge which the worst match, because that previous match had so nothing in it!
13:54This had absolutely nothing though, but I did quite like the spot with the flying fist!
13:59Yep, that's the spot of the night!
14:01I think that might take it!
14:02I think if this is up here, for me, this is down this end!
14:06Yep!
14:07This is down this end!
14:08I don't think there's a...
14:09I couldn't watch that and not have fun!
14:11Yeah!
14:12This is the fun end of the board!
14:13Yeah!
14:14Yeah!
14:15This is fun!
14:16Really stupid!
14:17I love that he's a box!
14:18And he played the part of box very well!
14:22I love that he's also known as Ken the Box!
14:25I think that's inherently a very fun thing, that his name is...
14:28He is a normal name, but he is a box!
14:30Yep!
14:31I was gonna get sent back to...
14:32The Box Factory!
14:33We'll be going to the...
14:37Box Factory!
14:38I love your idea that he sees the table and he's like...
14:41No!
14:42No!
14:43Brad!
14:44Loose!
14:45What happened to ya?
14:46We'll be back next month with another delve into the realms of worst matches ever!
14:52Until then, I've been Luke Owen, D.A.D.
14:54That has been Tempest!
14:55Woo!
14:56And that's been Sullivan!
14:58I'm a box!
14:59Worst Match Ever!
15:01They don't abide by your American rules!
15:07And bite of the forehead!
15:10Yeah, really!
15:11This is the story of how a Russian man and an Iranian man have come together to stop these
15:19two...
15:20Off the ropes!
15:21...child lickers!
15:22No...
15:23Ha, ha, ha!
15:24Ha, ha, ha!
15:28That's very good to see.
15:29I've had a舞 continu of the Wilmen I always wanted to do with, Philç”s, after-
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