- 3 weeks ago
- #jeremy
- #musicvideo
- #truestory
- #texas
The sad and tragic story of Jeremy Wade Delle, the kid behind the song Jeremy by Pearl Jam.
#Jeremy #musicvideo #truestory #Texas
#Jeremy #musicvideo #truestory #Texas
Category
🎵
MusicTranscript
00:00Hello and welcome to the Dark Mystery Lounge.
00:03The early and mid-90s grunge, rock, and alternative scene
00:06brought us lots of new music and powerful, thought-provoking music videos
00:11to complement very compelling songs, but not without some controversy.
00:15Today, we are going to take a look at one of them, and the story behind it.
00:19Pearl Jam's Jeremy.
00:21Trigger warning, this video will be discussing suicide.
00:24So if you don't think you can handle it, please click off the video now.
00:28Viewer discretion is advised.
00:30Still here?
00:32Okay, let's get started.
00:38Jeremy Wade Dell was born February 10, 1975, in Murray, Kentucky, to Joseph and Wanda Dell.
00:45He has a sister that is four years older.
00:48In 1978, the family moved to Garland, Texas, a suburb of Dallas.
00:53Less than a year later, Joseph and Wanda divorced after nine years of marriage.
00:57The family home was sold.
00:59Wanda, Jeremy, and his sister moved into an apartment in Dallas.
01:04Joseph remarries, but that marriage was short-lived, getting divorced again only after a few years.
01:10In 1980, Jeremy enters kindergarten at Truett Elementary School.
01:15Jeremy discovers his love for art.
01:17He's very gifted at drawing and painting.
01:20He won Best of Shows at the Texas State Fair in 1982, with an elephant painting.
01:25He also loved to play the drums.
01:27Wanda remarries in 1984, and the family moves again, meaning Jeremy has to move to another school,
01:34Lakewood Elementary, only to move to a new house again after just a couple of years,
01:40and ends up back at his first school.
01:42I'm sure after bouncing around from place to place, this really messed with Jeremy's sense of stability.
01:49Jeremy started middle school in September 1987, but had to repeat the seventh grade.
01:54Jeremy starts ninth grade at Bryan Adams High School for 1989-90 school year.
02:00He made friends who would describe Jeremy as a punk and a goofball, but could easily notice that he had problems.
02:07Jeremy would skip school from time to time and smoke cigarettes.
02:10In March of 1990, Jeremy meets Nancy, his first love, at a church retreat.
02:17He was head over heels in love with her.
02:20Around this time, he withdraws from Bryan Adams High School and enrolls at Richardson Junior High School after moving in with his father,
02:28although this is up for debate depending on the source.
02:31No one really knows why he moved in with his dad after living with his mother all this time.
02:37Unfortunately, the relationship with Nancy was short-lived.
02:41Nancy broke up with Jeremy.
02:42She later claims it was because he sent her detailed and artistic letters in which he would often talk about suicide.
02:50Quote,
02:50This sent Jeremy into a downward spiral.
03:02Two days later, he would attempt to end his life by overdosing on pills.
03:06He was put in an inpatient program at Timberlawn Psychiatric Hospital in Dallas.
03:11In July, Jeremy gets a pass to come home from Timberlawn.
03:15He became outpatient, but still attended groups and counseling meetings at Timberlawn.
03:21At another church retreat, he meets Nancy again.
03:24This time, he climbs up on a cliff and threatens to jump off.
03:29He did not jump, but received counseling from church authorities.
03:33This was his second attempt in only a few months.
03:36His third attempt happened some days after the second,
03:39when he showed up to Nancy's house threatening to shoot himself.
03:42She didn't see a gun, and Jeremy left soon after.
03:47No consequences or reports on this day.
03:50Jeremy meets Michelle at Timberlawn, and they began dating.
03:54Things seemed to be going well, although this too was short-lived.
03:58In October, Michelle was readmitted to Timberlawn, and Jeremy was released.
04:03They broke up.
04:05Michelle claims that Jeremy was very clingy, calling her often.
04:08He wanted a serious relationship, but Michelle just wasn't ready for anything serious.
04:14She knew he was doing a number of drugs and drinking and always seemed depressed.
04:19Jeremy was enrolled at Richardson High School that same month.
04:23Even though he had only been at school for a short time,
04:26he was getting into trouble for truancy and threatening a teacher.
04:30Jeremy had his locker searched three times before Christmas break.
04:34Searches yielded several bottles of Whiteout, a Cult's That Kill book.
04:40Back in the day, Whiteout was huffed or drank.
04:43The effects mirrored those of alcohol inebriation, but without being drunk.
04:47Which is why Whiteout is made from different chemicals today.
04:51Later searches yielded a deer leg and books on childbirth and fatherhood.
04:56Jeremy casually tells multiple classmates about his fascination and preoccupation with suicide.
05:02He is reported to the school counselor.
05:05It is not known what the counselor suggested as treatment
05:08or if the person was even in a position to help Jeremy, given the severity of his symptoms.
05:13He was placed in in-school suspension, or ISS, for threats against a teacher.
05:19On December 11th, he allegedly steals money from a cash box after a Richardson High School basketball game
05:26and is reported by fellow students for threats against his math and English teacher,
05:30as well as suicidal intentions.
05:33The next day, the assistant principal notifies the police about the alleged threats,
05:38the Cult's That Kill book, and the deer's leg found in Jeremy's locker.
05:42That evening, Jeremy was arrested for theft.
05:45Police questioned Jeremy about the threats against the math teacher.
05:49Jeremy attested that he made general comments and that it was twisted as rumors passed around students.
05:55Police recommended counseling.
05:57Joseph tells police that Jeremy has had a lot of psychological treatment,
06:01that Jeremy was at Timberlawn in early 1990,
06:05and that he was checking into other options for Jeremy.
06:08Joseph also asked for the theft to be reported to the juvenile system for help.
06:14Jeremy is confined to ISS the rest of the year for both threats and locker contents,
06:20and also due to the fact that he was hospitalized at Timberlawn.
06:23He was in ISS before due to smoking, substance abuse, and truancy.
06:29During Christmas break, Jeremy tells Michelle that he got a gun for Christmas,
06:34even though this wasn't true.
06:36On January 6, 1991, at about 11 a.m., Michelle calls Jeremy.
06:42Michelle remembers that Jeremy seemed depressed as always.
06:45He boasted that he was on acid and that he did more drugs than ever before.
06:49Michelle told him that she might be pregnant, but that Jeremy was not the father.
06:55Sometime during the conversation, Jeremy told Michelle that he would die for her.
07:00Afterwards, Michelle called Wanda to report Jeremy sounded strange on the phone.
07:05Michelle said she felt Wanda did not show concern at the time.
07:09This call is what set Jeremy over the edge.
07:12He said in the past that when he turned 16, that he wanted to get a car and to get a girl pregnant so he could start a family.
07:20I guess in his mind, because he didn't have stability in his life, that he would create his own family and his own sense of stability that way.
07:28After this call, he sent suicide letters and tapes to friends.
07:33On January 7, 1991, still in ISS, Jeremy writes notes back and forth with Lisa, who was also confined to ISS at the time.
07:43He liked to talk about his life and to get to know Lisa and her life.
07:47They were writing about their school and private life, their problems in general.
07:51His last note ended with later days instead of the usual write back, which caught Lisa's attention because she thought it was unusual.
08:01She later stated in the newspaper interview she did never expected what happened this day.
08:07After school, Jeremy goes for his regular counseling session.
08:11Afterwards, he heads over to his dad's girlfriend's house, where his dad was going to pick him up in a little while.
08:17He pages his dad that he arrived at the girlfriend's house.
08:22This was a way to keep tabs on Jeremy's whereabouts.
08:25Since smartphones didn't exist at the time, pagers or beepers were commonly used.
08:30The girlfriend wasn't home at the time.
08:33That's when Jeremy stole the gun and the ring from an unlocked drawer.
08:37He made some phone calls, first to Nancy, telling her that this will be the last time they will talk
08:43due to the fact that he and his dad were leaving for Tokyo, Japan, the next day.
08:48He also advised that he had acquired an expensive ring for her for $800 from Lord & Taylor
08:54and that he would be mailing her a letter and this ring the next day.
08:59He wanted her to always wear the ring and remember him while he was in Japan.
09:04He promised to write her and he wanted the ring to be a friendship, promise, or even an engagement ring.
09:10They talked for nearly an hour.
09:12He makes another call to a friend about getting rid of a stolen stereo and getting drugs for a friend in rehab.
09:19Joseph picks up Jeremy from the girlfriend's house around 7.30.
09:23Joseph recalls Jeremy seemed happy, upbeat, and normal.
09:27They went home and watched a movie on TV.
09:30Jeremy talks to his mom on the phone.
09:32Wanda let him know that she would pick him up from school tomorrow.
09:35On January 8, 1991, Joseph leaves for work, but calls the house a couple hours later to make sure that Jeremy is up and ready for school.
09:46Before he leaves, Jeremy calls Nancy for the last time, telling her that he and his dad are leaving for Japan at 3 p.m.
09:54and he's en route to get his passport.
09:57He also said he was stoned on marijuana.
10:00Nancy recalls Jeremy to be in good spirits and that he did not talk of suicide.
10:06She said that he was so at peace, so much more than I had ever seen him.
10:10At 8.20 a.m., Jeremy pages his dad that he arrived at school.
10:15He drops his backpack off at ISS and went to the Eagle's Nest, cafeteria wearing his big white coat.
10:23Jeremy seems happy, hugging friends and even teachers.
10:27He gave one of his friends a letter unsealed and showed her the ring before putting it in the envelope.
10:33He asked his friend to mail it for him because he wasn't going to be around after school.
10:40Sometime after 9.30 a.m., Jeremy enters English Class 2 and is handed a hall pass by Mrs. Barnett to get to the school office and receive a new ISS admittance.
10:51He takes off his white coat and puts it on a desk in the back of the room.
10:55He leaves the room and removes something from his locker, presumably the gun.
11:00He returns to the room and puts the hall pass on Barnett's desk and says something like,
11:06Miss, this is what I went for.
11:09Then he placed the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.
11:12It happened so fast that no one had time to react.
11:16In front of a classroom full of 30 students, he chose that classroom because he was bullied, made fun of, and had objects thrown at him while the teacher wasn't looking.
11:26And the teacher didn't take it seriously.
11:29The students ran to the back of the room, then ran out of the classroom.
11:32Jeremy died just one month before his 16th birthday.
11:41Now that you know Jeremy's story, I want to talk about a topic that hits close to home.
11:47Maybe by learning the stages of depression, you can spot in his story, or maybe even in people close to you who are suffering,
11:55the warning signs and may be able to help before it's too late.
11:59I've been down these stages too many times, and it's not a fun trip.
12:05When someone decides to end their own life, it's not always a split-second decision.
12:09There are stages.
12:11Stage 1, Ideation Stage.
12:13At this stage is when you are constantly thinking about suicide, but the fear outweighs the attraction.
12:19Thoughts in your head like, my family would be better off without me, or no one will miss me when I'm gone.
12:26Those at this stage might gravitate more to darker or sad music, or express their pain through art.
12:34Stage 2, Planning Stage.
12:37Or as I call it, the black and white stage.
12:40There are no shades of gray at this point.
12:42Either I do this or not.
12:44This is the stage where the plan is formed.
12:47A time, a place, a method.
12:50During this time, friends and family notice the person's depression is getting worse.
12:55The person might drink more, or abuse other substances.
12:59This is when the person begins to isolate themselves from others, and won't open up anymore about what is going on inside their head.
13:07Because the reveal of the secret would spoil any of their plans.
13:11Thoughts of, no one can possibly know the amount of pain I'm going through, they wouldn't understand.
13:17This stage may only last for a few months, because it is a really, really painful stage.
13:24Once the decision is made, and the attraction outweighs the fear, then they move on to the third stage.
13:31Stage 3, Autopilot Stage.
13:33The moment the decision is made, the person goes on autopilot.
13:38This is the most painful stage.
13:40When someone has been depressed for a long time, then all of a sudden becomes happy?
13:45Watch out.
13:46Depression seems to suddenly lift, because the person has made the final decision and is no longer wrestling with it.
13:53They will make all the preparations, and have picked a date.
13:57The person will give possessions away, and or leave a note behind.
14:01Those who are not trained to recognize autopilot, think that the person has finally turned the corner, and is getting better.
14:08They breathe a sigh of relief.
14:10This stage only lasts for about 48 hours, and then, they're gone.
14:16Now what can you do to stop somebody who is determined to end their own life?
14:20Just be there for them.
14:21Talk to them.
14:22Reach out to show that you care and want to help.
14:25Sometimes, this might be the trigger to get them out of the fog that they're in, and open up to you.
14:31Call the suicide hotline, or if worse comes to worse, call 911.
14:36If you, yourself, have any dark thoughts, just know that you're not alone.
14:41Dial the number on the screen, and remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
14:47When Eddie Vedder, Pearl Jam's frontman, read about the incident about Jeremy in a small newspaper article,
15:02he felt compelled to write a song that captured the emotional weight of such tragedies.
15:06He wrote the song within a day of reading the article.
15:10Thoughts of his own experience while in school were also written in the song's second verse.
15:14Eddie went to school with a boy named Brian, whom he got into fights with during junior high school,
15:20walked into an oceanography class, and opened fire.
15:23I'm not certain of the details because I couldn't find any records of the school shooting.
15:28Eddie wrote the lyrics, and Jeremy's bassist, Jeff Edmont, wrote the music and finished before they went on tour with Alice in Chains in February 1991.
15:37The music videos, yes, there was more than one made of the same song.
15:41In July 1991, Eddie became acquainted with photographer Chris Caffaro.
15:46He suggested Caffaro film a music video for the band.
15:50On Eddie's insistence, Epic gave Caffaro permission to use any song off of 10.
15:55He chose Jeremy, which was not intended to be released as a single at the time.
16:00Epic refused to fund the clip, forcing Caffaro to finance it himself.
16:04The video was shot in October 1991.
16:07It was in black and white with a different actor, Eric Schubert, playing the part of Jeremy.
16:12It was shot at a warehouse in L.A.
16:15The revolving platform was rigged at the center of the set,
16:18and members of the band would climb on it individually to give the illusion of the song being performed
16:24as a crew spun the giant turntable by hand.
16:27Even after all the work was done to make the music video, it was never televised.
16:32But thanks to the internet, you can watch it online.
16:35When Pearl Jam's debut album, 10, was released on August 27, 1991,
16:41the song Jeremy stuck out as the most popular song on the album,
16:44along with a live and even flow.
16:47Epic started noticing the popularity of the song
16:49and decided to greenlight a music video to be made that they would actually pay for.
16:55Music director Mark Pellington was brought in to handle the project,
16:59along with veteran editor Bruce Ashley.
17:01This time, Jeremy was played by 12-year-old Trevor Wilson in his only acting role.
17:07The classroom scenes were filmed at Beyond High School in New Jersey.
17:11Jeremy is shown at school being alienated from and taunted by his classmates,
17:15running shirtless through a forest, and screaming at his parents at a dinner table.
17:20Only Jeremy is shown moving in the video.
17:23All the other characters depicted are almost always frozen in a series of stationary tableaus.
17:28Shots of words depicting others' presumed description of Jeremy,
17:32such as problem, peer, harmless, and bored, frequently appear on the screen.
17:37As the song becomes more dense and frantic,
17:40Jeremy's behavior becomes increasingly agitated.
17:43Jeremy is shown standing, arms raised in a V, in front of a wall of flames.
17:48He is later shown staring at the camera while wrapped in an American flag, surrounded by fire.
17:53The final scene of the video shows Jeremy striding into class shirtless,
17:58tossing an apple to the teacher, and standing before his classmates.
18:02He reaches down and draws back his arm as he takes the gun out of his pocket.
18:07The gun only appears on screen in the unedited version of the video.
18:11The edited version cuts to an extreme close-up of Jeremy's face
18:15as he puts the barrel of the gun in his mouth, closes his eyes, and pulls the trigger.
18:19After a flash of light, the screen turns black.
18:23The next shot is panned across the classroom,
18:25shows Jeremy's blood-splattered classmates, all completely still, recoiling in horror.
18:30The video ends in a shot of a dangling blackboard,
18:34on which all harsh terms and phrases were seen earlier or sprawled.
18:38At both ends of the video, the words 64 degrees and cloudy in a suburban neighborhood were shown.
18:45Eddie said,
18:47Problems occurred when MTV saw the video.
19:03They have restrictions on violent imagery,
19:06so the gun was cropped out in just a close-up of Jeremy's upper face.
19:10But without showing what actually happened in the video,
19:13people became confused, thinking that he shot his classmates.
19:16Another change that was made to the version for MTV
19:20was shortening the Pledge of Allegiance sequence,
19:22showing Jeremy's classmates, making a gesture that could be either
19:26the Roman salute, the American Bellamy statue, or the Hitler salute.
19:31Regardless of these cuts, the music video premiered on August 1st, 1992,
19:36and was a huge success.
19:37The success of the Jeremy video helped catapult Pearl Jam to fame.
19:42The music video for Jeremy became iconic, though it stirred controversy.
19:47Some felt it misrepresented Jeremy's story,
19:49while others praised it for shedding light on issues like bullying, isolation, and mental health.
19:55The video won four MTV Music Video Awards in 1993,
19:59including Best Video of the Year, Best Group Video, Best Metal-slash-Hard Rock Video, and Best Direction.
20:06Trevor Wilson appeared with Pearl Jam on stage when they won Best Video of the Year.
20:12Eddie introduced Trevor during his acceptance speech.
20:15He introduced Wilson to the crowd, saying,
20:17He then hands the award to Trevor.
20:47There were some people, especially those close to Jeremy,
20:54who were not fans of the song and music video.
20:57His mother, Wanda especially, didn't like how it painted Jeremy and his family in a really bad light.
21:03In 1996, a shooting occurred at Frontier Junior High School in Moses Lake, Washington,
21:10that left three dead and a fourth injured.
21:12The prosecutor for the case said the shooter,
21:15Barry Lugaitis, was influenced by the edited version of the music video.
21:20After the Columbine High School massacre in 1999,
21:23and other school shootings,
21:25the music video was rarely shown on MTV and VH1,
21:29but it still airs from time to time on MTV Classic.
21:33Sadly, Trevor Wilson passed away in 2016
21:36from drowning while swimming in Puerto Rico.
21:39He was 36 years old.
21:41Unfortunately,
21:43all the tapes that were mailed to friends explaining in detail
21:46his bout with depression,
21:48speaking about his life in general.
21:50Not a single minute of those tapes was ever disclosed,
21:53and police had to destroy all those sent in
21:56after the investigation was done.
21:59Lots of letters from Jeremy to his friends
22:01were also submitted as evidence.
22:03In these letters,
22:04some blamed Michelle,
22:06others said she was not to blame.
22:07It turns out that Michelle wasn't pregnant,
22:10and I really don't know why she lied in the first place.
22:13At the end of the day,
22:14I feel like there was no single cause
22:15for Jeremy taking his own life.
22:17It was kind of a perfect storm of circumstances
22:20that just pushed him over the edge.
22:22Jeremy was laid to rest at Resland Memorial Park.
22:26If he would have gotten proper help and lived,
22:28he would be 50 years old.
22:30Rest in peace, Jeremy.
22:37I know this video is a heavier topic,
22:40and I've been waiting a long time to make it
22:42because it's such a dark topic.
22:44I do feel like Jeremy was going through a lot of problems
22:47that just became overwhelming for him.
22:50And as a teenager,
22:51with all those raging hormones,
22:53everything seems 50 times worse than it really is.
22:57Mental health back in the day
22:58really wasn't taken as seriously as it is now.
23:02And if Jeremy would have gotten proper treatment,
23:05maybe a longer stay,
23:06he would be alive today.
23:08The divorce,
23:09moving around a lot,
23:11and changing schools
23:12affected him quite a bit.
23:14That's why he wanted to have a girlfriend
23:16and have a child with her.
23:18In his mind,
23:19if he didn't have a stable family life,
23:22he would create his own.
23:23The bullying also didn't help
23:25with all the problems that he had.
23:27Some people think that bullying is no big deal.
23:30Just because you survived it
23:31and turned out okay
23:33doesn't mean others feel the same way.
23:35A lot of teens commit suicide
23:37just from bullying alone.
23:39Others commit school shootings.
23:41Others have depression
23:41that sticks with them for years,
23:43if not longer.
23:45As a kid, teen, and adult,
23:47we are so quick to be cruel to others,
23:50especially online.
23:51Take a deep breath,
23:52stop and think,
23:53before being mean to another person.
23:56Being kind to others,
23:57even if it's as simple as smiling at someone,
24:00or complimenting the shirt
24:02that they are wearing,
24:03or asking them how they are doing,
24:05can go a long way
24:06to making someone's crappy day
24:08a little more bearable.
24:11Remember,
24:12we all have a cross to bear,
24:13some heavier than others.
24:15Just because you can't see it,
24:17doesn't mean it's not there.
24:19As for where the hell I've been,
24:21well, plain and simple,
24:23I needed a break.
24:24I was tired of looking
24:25at my computer screen,
24:26I was tired of making content,
24:28so I walked away for a while
24:30until I felt better.
24:31If you made it this far,
24:33thank you.
24:34If you found this video interesting,
24:36like, subscribe,
24:37and all that jazz.
24:38You know what to do.
24:39Thank you for hanging out with me
24:41in the Dark Mystery Lounge.
24:42This is Phoenix, signing out.
24:44Have a good evening,
24:45and stay safe.
Be the first to comment