00:27I can feel the acid-sick rising above my face!
00:30Look, what are you saying?
00:31Are you kidding me?
00:39She knows.
00:42Look, it's not what you think.
00:43What happened between us was a moment of great passion
00:46and humiliating error, never to be repeated again.
00:49Never!
00:52Well, I'm glad to hear that,
00:53because I want to make this perfectly clear.
00:55If you guys, even so much as touch each other in my hotel,
01:00you're fired.
01:03Yes, he's a part.
01:04Oh!
01:05No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:08Hate spring.
01:10Mavis!
01:10What?
01:11The Republican candidate for state assembly just dropped out of the race.
01:14He's been implicated in a scandal.
01:15That's nothing.
01:16You want scandal?
01:18Do you know that Shalupa and Nassim
01:20have been bumping green cards under my roof?
01:22Mavis please you haven't heard the best part what the party wants me to run run for what sandwiches
01:30for state assembly wait a minute that means you're gonna be running against Martin James
01:36you know that's my man so okay let's really take a good look at this okay Martin James 15 years
01:43experience Courtney Ray 15 months unemployment listen I know my odds are long but the party
01:52feels it's important to field a candidate you'll see Mavis I'm planning an exciting and uplifting
01:56campaign oh gosh you know I feel so bad I feel like we should be celebrating run out and get some
02:04sandwiches oh well you're gonna be a great assemblyman know why because you are of the
02:24peeps by the peeps and for the peeps hey Rita has anybody told you you're like a a combination
02:32of George and Thomas Jefferson Rita's launching my website you know what I'm gonna call my boy DeJuan
02:41he could hook up all the HTMLs javascripts and virtual meetups and the best part is he's only
02:4713 so we could pay him in Red Bull and Skittles I don't see why you launching a website I mean to
02:54get a hold of black Republicans just pick up the phone I mean how long does it take to call six
02:58people yo we've got a lot of work to do have you seen Martin James website he says that you could
03:07donate money request a house sign or learn about the carpetbagger he's running against he called
03:15me a carpetbagger what a horrible thing to call someone that's what Hillary Clinton is listen you
03:24have to develop a thick skin I mean they haven't even called you a tax cheater or a liar or a goat
03:30molester yet I was eight years old and I was at the petting zoo and it pinned me against the fence
03:35you're the one who dressed me in shorts and put the sandwich in my pocket I said I'm sorry it gets
03:44worse last-minute candidate Courtney Ray as unknown as he is underqualified thick skin thick skin though
03:52technically he's correct list his legal residence as a seedy hotel seedy hotel although technically he's
04:01right where does that too big hot politician get off calling my hotel seedy now who's thin-skinned it
04:10shut up look you can't let him do this okay you need to respond it's time to take the gloves off
04:21boo bear that's right Martin James doesn't know who he's messing with I think that's kind of the
04:27point nobody does well he will after I challenge him to a series of debates and get buttons oh well
04:34you'd be really good at that you get the buttons I'll go talk to Marty James no no please don't it's my
04:42reputation it's my fight I'm gonna fire off my response right now and we could flame him on his
04:48own blog Rita your tech talk sends a shutter through my loins that's the same thing he said to the goat
05:04baby says you need help hanging a picture or at least that's the excuse you gave yes this was put up
05:16incorrectly probably by some ignorant tent dweller who wasn't accustomed to hard walls strange usually
05:25inferior craftsmanship is the mark of glass-eyed balkan serfs may I say your skin is much softer than
05:42the average inbred gypsy thank you your forearm is more muscular than I imagined must be from lifting
05:52the fuck your mouth do you mind if I read nothing into this but it does feel good to work with a man of
06:07substantial girth American men are such undernourished boobs you said boobs so did you
06:18hey
06:21thanks for the call no problem I have your seedy hotel on speed dial
06:36assemblyman hey Mavis how are you I'm pissed uh-huh uh could you uh give us some air
06:47leave the bacon
06:49what are you pissed about this time Mavis you said some ugly things about my hotel you know I didn't
07:00like the tone of it um I'm lost on your website you call my hotel seedy now I don't mind if you call
07:09my brother inexperienced but you cannot talk about my hotel like that see that was my staff you know
07:15what I mean I told him we want to keep a very clean campaign because you know we both know that um I'm gonna win
07:21well that's what I told my brother I will have the page pulled I promise you promise I promise all right so how you doing I'm doing just fine how about you I'm good you look good so do you speaking of which yeah I've been meaning to invite you to you know a couple of fundraisers you want to invite me back to one of your fundraisers even after what happened last time especially after what happened last time
07:51yes and we even managed to raise some money yeah which you're using to run against my brother with not a lot of it no
07:58listen do me a favor okay don't call my brother carpetbagger anymore please he's lived here all of his life except for you know several years in Houston Houston yeah child he worked for Enron before the cock I hit the fan
08:13Enron I didn't know that oh yeah child lost everything everything so many people did yeah not me though is that right yeah I got out while I get was good how fortunate yes it was very fortunate I was so happy I celebrated
08:30y'all I didn't have one drink why cuz I want to feel something listen you know what I'm gonna get my staff on this website thing right now you are I promise all right so you gonna call me absolutely really I do my
08:43I got your number right here by my heart look at you lie I'll see you soon take it easy babe
08:48so which one of you you know did the website thing on Courtney Ray yeah well get rid of it because I have something
08:59much better it turns out that he uh he worked for Enron and uh his sister made a lot of money
09:13what's going on in here hey put that down I paid for most of this stuff
09:17Majors it's no use these are federal agents and they have a warrant
09:20what they're upstairs searching Courtney's room right now
09:23can you believe it the one day I didn't make my bed
09:28well what the hell are they looking for
09:30evidence that you and I conspired to commit insider trading while I was at Enron
09:34son of a gun
09:36you know what y'all is like Martha Stewart except nobody cares why is this happening why
09:45now why us those are all really good questions wait a minute you talk to Martin James
09:54I told you to stay away from him but she did why would you do that are you trying to sabotage my
10:05campaign oh yeah I'm trying to sabotage your campaign by getting myself indicted Courtney as
10:11your campaign manager I advise that you get this under control I have nothing to worry about I was
10:19too far down the ladder at Enron to be implicated in any scandal for heaven's sake they told me my
10:24documents weren't even worth shredding and that shows you how dumb that company is they weren't smart
10:31enough to blame it on the brother shoot at I think you might want to see what's going on outside
10:37oh what now damn it all right everybody set all right here we go now I I've brought you to Courtney
10:44Ray's doorstep to illustrate that I am not afraid to keep this campaign about the issues now whether
10:50or not my opponent and his family profited from shady dealings with
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