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  • 3 weeks ago
Transcript
00:00What is the matter with her?
00:02You really want to know?
00:04Yeah.
00:05Your mom was probably pretty normal before she had you.
00:08But then you were born.
00:10And you didn't sleep for six months.
00:11So she didn't sleep for six months.
00:13And you refused to eat.
00:15And when you did eat, you would barf all over her clothes.
00:18And that made your mom a little crazy.
00:20And then you fell off your bike and you broke your arm.
00:22And then you got bullied in school.
00:24And then you started dating that weird dude with the stink through his nose.
00:27And all those things made your mom a little more crazy.
00:30And then you got married.
00:32And you bought a house you can't afford.
00:34And you're raising kids who never say please or thank you.
00:37Shit, they can't even read.
00:39And all those things made your mom super duper crazy.
00:42And now you come into my office and you go,
00:44Dr. Carl, why is my mom so crazy?
00:47And the answer is,
00:50You motherfucker, you made your mom crazy.
00:53So be nice to your mom.
00:54Because you're the one who fucked her shit up.
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