- 2 weeks ago
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00:00No doubt about it, I'm on my way.
00:10Take it over, I'm here to stay.
00:14One day you'll be looking, but this one on my way.
00:18Don't drop, don't tell me, stop.
00:20Cause I'll be taking over today.
00:22I'm taking over this whole place.
00:27More and more people visit the UK each year.
00:36At North End Airport, border agents deal with this influx every day.
00:40This morning, Chief Inspector Linda Proctor introduces her team
00:43to the most recent strategy on handling the complex
00:46and sensitive issue of immigration.
00:49The Home Office have issued a new directive, the three O's.
00:54Out of the ordinary.
00:56If you see anything out of the ordinary,
00:59first detain it, then find out about it.
01:02Stop first, ask questions later.
01:04Andy?
01:05What qualifies as out of the ordinary?
01:07Well, like a man with a bomb or...
01:10A guy in a turban?
01:11Yeah, no. No, absolutely not. Sorry, Karim.
01:14I don't care.
01:15Well, you're asking us to detain anything out of the ordinary
01:17without due process. Sounds like profiling.
01:20No, no-one should be using that word, Grant.
01:23What's profiling?
01:24It's what you do every day, Grant.
01:25No, I don't.
01:26Do I?
01:28Actually, yeah.
01:29Yeah.
01:30Oh, come on, man.
01:33Oh, man.
01:34I mean, I'm definitely going to have to ask you some questions.
01:44I mean, come on.
01:48Look, this is not coming from me.
01:49This is from the Home Office.
01:51My bosses.
01:52Your employers.
01:53So, you know, we have to do what they say.
01:56Because this is a great place to work.
01:58Right, Clive?
01:59Yes, ma'am.
02:00I really like working here.
02:03When I was at school, I did a test,
02:05and they said that this is the job that I should do.
02:11And I was like, okay.
02:14What can we do to show the Home Office
02:16that we are being tougher?
02:19Drugs.
02:20What?
02:21I detained a traveller with drugs.
02:24So...
02:26Drugs.
02:27Well, that's great.
02:28Well, obviously, that's terrible,
02:30but it's a step in the right direction.
02:32Status on that?
02:34Uh, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
02:35Okay, okay.
02:36If I count down from five, I'm just getting it.
02:40Here we go.
02:41I got it, I got it, and I'm back.
02:46His name is Kier...
02:50Okay, no, hold on.
02:51Wrong file?
02:52Wrong file?
02:53I've been chief inspector here at North End
02:55for ten years now, on and off.
02:59Don't talk about the off bits.
03:02It was just stress.
03:05Okay.
03:07His name is Stefano Rocco.
03:10He's a DJ in from Ibiza,
03:13and, um, I found three grams of cocaine in him,
03:16on him, on him, on his person.
03:20DJ Stefano Rocco.
03:22Correct.
03:24Great news for chief inspector Proctor,
03:26but bad news for one of her agents,
03:28as DJ Stefano Rocco turns out to be a familiar face.
03:31I'm agent Tariq Mansour.
03:34I know that guy from my DJing days.
03:36I'm a DJ.
03:38You can find me on SoundCloud, DJ Merlin.
03:40Hit me up, I do events.
03:41Last one I did was for some A-level college students.
03:45One of them said the grandad was Michael Caine or something.
03:48So, networking.
03:49So, you're gonna be, uh, transferred over to the police,
03:52and, um, uh, officially arrested,
03:55and then if you do not have on,
03:57you will be appointed a lawyer,
03:58just like in movies and TV.
04:02Oh, no, okay, so this is like a real thing.
04:06Um, yeah, I've been arrested a few times,
04:09um, largely for being too sick at my job
04:12and blowing everyone's eardrums into another dimension.
04:15No, no, it was for tax and tax.
04:19Agent Mansour isn't the only one
04:21finding himself in a tricky situation.
04:23Following standard procedure,
04:25Senior Agent Brodie explains to a traveller
04:27why he's being detained.
04:29I don't want you to think you're being profiled here,
04:31Mr Mahmood.
04:32Um...
04:34It's just...
04:35You come here looking...
04:41Listen, it's like this, right?
04:43See if I was to go to Bahrain, right?
04:45You know, looking like this.
04:46You'd be like,
04:48Look at that guy!
04:50With all these freckles and his ginger hair,
04:52and...
04:53You'd be like,
04:54Who's this character running about?
05:00You really don't speak any English, do you?
05:03You really don't.
05:04I'm looking a wee bit silly.
05:12You know that guy who came in from Bulgaria?
05:14He's big, really sweaty.
05:16Smells like onions.
05:17Yeah, yeah.
05:18Do you mind just having a look at his file for a second?
05:20Yeah, sure.
05:22You're it!
05:23How long have I been here?
05:27Um, three years.
05:28Almost three years.
05:30I don't hate it.
05:32You know, if...
05:34If liking it is here and hating it is here,
05:38I'm, um...
05:40Just trying not to think about it.
05:42Andy, can I have a word?
05:43Yeah.
05:44After meeting some resistance at this morning's briefing,
05:46Chief Inspector Proctor is determined to re-establish the chain of command,
05:50starting with Agent Church.
05:53Andy.
05:55You were great in there.
05:57Gave me the third degree.
05:58Very fun.
05:59Oh, I didn't mean to.
06:00No, it's all right.
06:01I'm not offended or anything.
06:02Right.
06:03I just don't think that we should profile people,
06:04so I thought I should say that.
06:05Shh, shh, shh, shh.
06:06Andy, can I level with you?
06:09I can see a lot of myself in you.
06:11Oh.
06:12No, no, I mean that genuinely.
06:13I know you do.
06:14I need to make sure that you and I are on the same page.
06:17Yeah.
06:18Because I see us as friends, Andy.
06:19I see. Yeah.
06:20Is that everything?
06:21Yeah.
06:23But we are friends, right?
06:27Yep.
06:28Uh-huh.
06:29Okay, great.
06:31Say it.
06:34Actually, I didn't always want to be Chief Inspector, um,
06:37in an airport.
06:38Um, I actually used to want to be a prima ballerina.
06:43But I was 11 stone at 10 years of age.
06:47Just morbidly obese.
06:52Unable to avoid it any longer,
06:54Agent Mansoor finally decides to say hello to his old friend.
06:58Stefano.
06:59Hey, man.
07:00No.
07:02No.
07:04No.
07:05No.
07:06Yeah.
07:07I want to say, like, Pret.
07:08Tariq.
07:09Tariq.
07:10Yeah.
07:11No.
07:12God, excuse me.
07:13So good to see you.
07:14Good to see you.
07:15But you look nice.
07:17Yeah.
07:18So, uh, so what happened?
07:19I don't know, man.
07:20It was just, like, one single and I just, like, blew up.
07:24Uh, I'm like a properly famous DJ now.
07:26I just opened for Tiesto in Vegas.
07:28Me.
07:29What?
07:31Oh, shit.
07:32Have you, have you been to Vegas?
07:33No.
07:34Oh, it's crazy.
07:35It's, no, it's, no, it's really nice.
07:37Literally, really, so nice.
07:41Uh-huh.
07:42So, like, what are you doing?
07:44Are you playing still?
07:45Yeah, a little bit.
07:46Really?
07:47Yeah.
07:48Wait, can I come?
07:49Okay, so, like, what are you doing here?
07:52Um, it's just a side thing.
07:54Uh, in between gigs.
07:56Oh.
07:58Cool.
08:01Cool.
08:03Despite being a small airport,
08:05North End can still get very busy.
08:07So it's crucial that the agents use their downtime
08:10as productively as possible.
08:12Truth or dare?
08:14Um, truth.
08:17Truth.
08:18Yeah.
08:20Oh, God.
08:21I'm going to have to be so truthful.
08:24Okay.
08:25Unless you want to do the dare.
08:26Yeah.
08:27Do you want to do dare?
08:28Uh, yeah, maybe dare.
08:30No, but I don't want to do anything weird.
08:33It won't be weird.
08:34Truth.
08:35Truth.
08:36Truth.
08:37Truth.
08:38Truth.
08:39But please, let's still...
08:40Don't hate me.
08:41Say something.
08:42Dare.
08:43Go, we'll do dare.
08:44Because if it's something easy.
08:47Truth.
08:48Ask me, um, who is...
08:51No, we do.
08:52Truth.
08:53Just ask me.
08:54And I have to be truthful.
08:55Ask me who is my least favourite person in the office.
09:01Clive, who's your least favourite person in the office?
09:04Oh, why did I forget you to ask me that?
09:07Chief Inspector Proctor needs to get her team on board with the new Home Office directives.
09:13Luckily, she has strong relationships with all departments at the airport.
09:16Hi, Mo.
09:17Hi, Such.
09:18How are you?
09:19What are you doing here?
09:20What do you mean?
09:21You don't come down here?
09:22Yes, I do.
09:23No, you don't.
09:24Yeah, my name's Mo Khan.
09:25I've been working at this airport for like six months now, I think.
09:26And let me just put this on camera so everyone knows, yeah?
09:27This job is shit.
09:28But don't worry about that.
09:29I'm just here for the dough, yeah?
09:30And I've got loads of things going on, bro.
09:31I was killing it last year.
09:32I got to the final round of auditions for The Apprentice.
09:33But they didn't put me on the show.
09:34I wonder why.
09:35Look, Borderline's got some new directives and that means I have to coordinate across the
09:42whole airport, especially with baggage handlers.
09:44I'm supposed to look out for anything, you know, out of the ordinary.
09:47Are you trying to say me and Suge look out of the ordinary?
09:49No.
09:50No.
09:51No, no.
09:52I'm talking to you specifically because...
09:53Because we're Muslim.
09:54Yeah, it's because we're Muslim.
09:55Yeah, it's because we're Muslim.
09:56Yeah, I'm afraid to tell Mo I'm not a Muslim.
09:58I don't know why he thinks I am one.
09:59I don't even look like one.
10:00Today you're talking to you because of this new directive.
10:21And?
10:25You're baggage handlers, and you might be able to help sort of be my man on the inside.
10:30Oh, Linda, you want a brown man on your inside, yeah?
10:33No, no, no, it's Proctor.
10:36I could be that guy, you know, Linda?
10:37Yeah.
10:38Anyway, listen, just chill, yeah?
10:39We're just playing with you.
10:40Get this straight.
10:41We work for the airport and not borderline.
10:44We ain't helping you, man.
10:46All you lot do is stop and search people who look like me and Suj anyway.
10:49We ain't about to help you put our people in cuffs and that.
10:51Well, thank you for your input.
10:57Thank you for keeping God safe, yeah?
11:01You know, because he'll hurt me.
11:05Not because he's Muslim, because he's quite big.
11:09You know, he's a bit of an arsehole, isn't he?
11:11It's afternoon at borderline, and senior agent Brodie has hit a stumbling block with the traveller he detained earlier this morning.
11:26Tarek, quick question for you.
11:35Yeah, sure.
11:37So, I've got this Mr Mahmood in detention, and he's from Buran.
11:43Bahrain?
11:44Bahrain, yes.
11:46Well, there's a wee bit of a language barrier here, so I can maybe, you could maybe help speed up the process a wee bit.
11:53I don't speak Arabic.
11:55Really?
11:56Oh.
11:56But you're, um...
11:58Egyptian?
12:01Ah.
12:02Right.
12:03I'm actually half Egyptian.
12:04It doesn't mean I speak Arabic.
12:06What's going on, guys?
12:07Grant thought, because I'm half Egyptian, I speak Arabic.
12:10No, I was asking everyone.
12:12No, it's just me.
12:12No, I was asking everybody.
12:14Just me.
12:14Hey, Andy, can you speak Arabic?
12:17No, I can't.
12:18I can't.
12:19You know Tarek's English, right?
12:21Yep.
12:22Mm, yep.
12:23Yeah.
12:26Can you speak Arabic?
12:31No.
12:33Concerned that her team has yet to spot anything out of the ordinary, Chief Inspector Proctor decides to lead by example.
12:40Sorry, could you please remove your, um, shirt? I'm joking. Can you take your hat off? Thank you.
12:47I'm sorry.
12:49I'm sorry.
12:50I'm sorry.
12:51I'm sorry.
12:52I'm sorry.
12:53I'm half an hour a bit.
12:54Welcome to the UK.
12:55Uh...
12:56So I see you've just let that gentleman through?
12:58Oh, well, nothing out of the ordinary there.
13:00It's just that this directive really needs implementing.
13:03So do you mind if I join you on the next traveller?
13:05Join me?
13:06Yeah, just to make sure you and I are on the same page.
13:10Yes, sir.
13:17So I can see that you are from Denmark.
13:20There's a red flag for you alert.
13:22Let's dig a little deeper.
13:24You can see that in 2011 he also travelled to the Gatwick South Terminal.
13:32So that's okay.
13:42Thank you. Welcome to the UK.
13:44Sorry, can you...
13:45Yep.
13:56Occupied.
13:57Hey, man.
13:58Um, you know that Bulgarian...
13:59Hey, man.
14:00Hey, man.
14:01Uh, you know the Bulgarian traveller?
14:02Um, hefty guy?
14:03Oh, the one that...
14:04The one that smells like a cheese sandwich?
14:05Yeah.
14:06I've got his form here and I'm just confused about something.
14:08I was just wondering if you could have a look at it.
14:11Oh, okay.
14:12You're it.
14:13Oh!
14:14Ah!
14:15Oh!
14:16You got me good!
14:17Oh, I love games.
14:18Oh, you're a dead man.
14:20You are a dead man.
14:21Are you still here?
14:26Passport control was not a success for Proctor.
14:29Feeling the pressure, she calls an emergency meeting.
14:32During the briefing this morning, I made it quite clear that we need to be tougher.
14:37Where's my numbers?
14:38Well, there's been no-one to stop.
14:40So, if there's nothing out of the ordinary, would you want us to do?
14:43Invent stats?
14:44No, no, no.
14:45Don't invent stats.
14:46But some stats would be nice.
14:48But I just want you all to just think more open-mindedly.
14:52I think you mean close-mindedly.
14:54No, Andy.
14:55That's not what I mean.
14:56And I think you know that.
14:57Drugs.
14:58Tarek and I have processed Stefano...
14:59Sit down, Clive.
15:00That's old news.
15:01You told us that this morning.
15:02Oh, right.
15:03I just need this entire room, this entire airport, to start taking me seriously.
15:09We seriously think these new directives are ridiculous.
15:12It's not about what you think, Andy.
15:14It's about what you do.
15:15Grow up!
15:16So, I'm confused.
15:23Are we profiling or not?
15:26What do I think about Proctor?
15:28Oh, it's fine.
15:31You know, people deal with stress in different ways.
15:34I make these inflatable hands.
15:37Agent Mansoor is processing his old friend, DJ Stefano Rocco, who was detained when three
15:47grams of cocaine were found in his possession.
15:50Every time I play a track, the crowd just go crazy.
15:53They're just like, electric, and I can just hear them like, we think this is great, saying
15:57stuff like that.
15:58That's amazing.
15:59So, there's like a 50-foot screen behind me, and it's like, they're filming me, so it's
16:03like projecting me onto it, so the crowd can like, see me spinning, and like, I'm swearing,
16:07and like, giving them a sense of who I am through the camera.
16:10And, you know, so then I put on a track, and then I duck down behind the booth to do
16:14a line of coke, and they cheer.
16:16It's only when I turn around, halfway through the set, I realise, hmm, they're actually
16:21filming everything.
16:22So embarrassing, but not, you know, because that's my persona.
16:26I need to, you know.
16:28That's so cool.
16:29Not be ashamed.
16:30This whole thing is, like, so silly and funny.
16:34It's not even my Gak, it's my sister's.
16:37Like, you know, she's not, like, a fiend.
16:40She just, like, she needs it, because, like, it makes her feel great.
16:44After completing the interview with Mr Mahmood, Agent Brodie conducts a search of his luggage.
16:49I am now opening the bag in front of the witness.
16:54Seems to be closed.
16:57Oh, sis.
17:00What, you?
17:01You like Oasis?
17:03I like Oasis.
17:04Dude, that's unbelievable.
17:05What about that, Clive, eh?
17:07Oh, erm...
17:09What's your...
17:10Oh, God.
17:11Oh, that's annoying.
17:12I want to be able to have a wee chat with me about the...
17:14Oh, I can speak Arabic.
17:17No, I can't.
17:23I let him go.
17:27Truth is, I profiled him.
17:30I thought he was out of the ordinary.
17:32Turns out he's...
17:33No, he's a pretty ordinary guy.
17:36It's hard to communicate with him, though, because he's from the Bahrain.
17:40And, er...
17:41Well, they...
17:42They probably didn't have much money over there.
17:45Education and wealth, I take for granted.
17:47Because I'm from Scotland, so we've got all the oil money.
17:50Cool, man.
17:51After answering all of Agent Mansoor's questions, DJ Stefano Rocco has one of his own.
18:01Um...
18:03Hey, man.
18:05Er...
18:06I could really use your help.
18:09Obviously.
18:11What do you mean?
18:13Look, I'm in a bit of a tricky situation.
18:16You catch me coming through the border with seven grams of coke.
18:20Three grams.
18:21Three grams of coke.
18:22Sorry.
18:23We used to do, like, three grams a night together.
18:25Oh, no.
18:26I've never done cocaine.
18:27You haven't.
18:28We did together.
18:29Both of us.
18:30But you can help me.
18:31Surely.
18:32I can't actually do anything.
18:35You can.
18:36You can.
18:37Because if you do something for me, I can help you.
18:40Like, what DJ do you want your music sending out to?
18:43Do you know what I mean?
18:44What club nights do you want to do?
18:45Do you want to do a night?
18:46I really do want to do a night.
18:48You really do want to do a night, yeah.
18:49I do.
18:50So, okay.
18:51Come on.
18:52Talal.
18:53Help me.
18:58My name's Tariq.
18:59Tariq.
19:00Right.
19:01Hey.
19:02Sorry to break up the reunion.
19:06What did I miss?
19:08We're both DJs.
19:10But the police are here and you're going to jail.
19:14It's quite a day.
19:15I actually learned something about myself, which never happens.
19:17And I learned that I'd rather be here than in jail.
19:24Until this day, I never thought I'd say those words.
19:29Guess where I'm going this weekend?
19:30Where?
19:31The Shire.
19:32The Shire.
19:33Yeah.
19:34It's just green and lovely there, isn't it?
19:35It's really nice.
19:36Yeah.
19:37Just going to hang out with some hobbits.
19:38Are there horses there?
19:39Small horses.
19:40Small horses.
19:41Yeah.
19:42Like Shire-sized horses.
19:43Right.
19:44Okay.
19:45And they'll take your weight.
19:46Excuse me?
19:47Because they're used to...
19:48Sorry, you're concerned whether the horse on my holiday will take my weight.
19:50But if it's a bait, like a small horse.
19:51Well, guess where I'm going now.
19:52Where are you going?
19:53Gotham City.
19:54Gotham, Batman.
19:55Mm-hmm.
19:56Wow.
19:57That's quite a dangerous place.
19:58Well, you know, I can handle it.
19:59It's going to be okay.
20:00Yeah, I fancy the city break.
20:01Hey Andy, you know the traveller from Bulgaria?
20:02No.
20:03The traveller from Bulgaria is the...
20:04...pensary.
20:05Yeah.
20:06No.
20:07No.
20:08No.
20:09No.
20:10No.
20:11No.
20:12No.
20:13No.
20:14No.
20:15No.
20:16No.
20:17No.
20:18No.
20:19No.
20:20No.
20:21No.
20:22No.
20:23No.
20:24No.
20:25No.
20:26No.
20:27No.
20:28No.
20:29No.
20:30No.
20:31Guys, it smells like French cheese.
20:33Yeah.
20:34Yeah, no, no.
20:35I have no idea who he is.
20:37Yeah you do.
20:38You know who he is.
20:39You know who he is.
20:40I have no idea.
20:42All right.
20:44Different question.
20:46Completely new topic.
20:48Can you hold this far for a second?
20:49No.
20:50I'm okay.
20:51Please.
20:52Exactly.
20:53Desise for one second is so much fun.
20:54No, no.
20:55You're not going to be...
20:56I am not going to hold it.
20:57Mmm, each to the round.
21:00Now you get back on with your wife.
21:02You're it!
21:03No, no!
21:04After a late call from her superiors,
21:06a weary Chief Inspector Proctor addresses her team one last time.
21:11Good news.
21:12Turns out the problems we've all been having with the three O's,
21:17not isolated, just got off the phone from the Home Office,
21:20and apparently every borderline department in the UK
21:24finds the three O's morally questionable.
21:28So let's just move on, start afresh tomorrow,
21:31pretend today never happened.
21:34From time to time the Home Office like to send down memos and initiatives,
21:39and we try to adhere to their requests, ridiculous or not.
21:43It's our job.
21:44But if they only knew how good we are here at Borderline
21:47and leave us be, then the UK would be the safest country in the world.
21:52It would still be run by pig fucking cunts, but it would definitely be the safest.
21:57No doubt about it, I'm on my way.
22:02Take it over, I'm here to stay.
22:06One day you'll be looking, when you come my way.
22:10Don't drop, don't tell me to stop.
22:12Cause I'll be taking over today.
22:15I'm taking over this whole place.
22:18I'm on my head to outer space.
22:21Don't drop, don't tell me to stop.
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