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Taskmaster Champion of Champions 2025
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00:00I don't know what I'm saying.
00:29Oh, my God.
00:59APPLAUSE
01:03Hello! Hello!
01:06Thank you, welcome, I'm Greg Davis.
01:10Imagine, if you will, a world where the greatest from any era
01:14could be pitted against one another.
01:16Peak Muhammad Ali clashing with the raging youth of Tyson.
01:20Borg trading rally upon rally with Federer.
01:23Simone Biles and Olga Corbett throwing impossible shapes
01:26on the same bars.
01:28Ooh, it's a tantalising prospect, isn't it?
01:31Now, forget all that, and let's see some comedians
01:34doing stupid stuff.
01:36Welcome to the Taskmaster, Champion of Champions!
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:42Please welcome back the winners from series 16 to 20,
01:47Andy Zoltzman!
01:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:51John Robin!
01:53Maisie Edder!
01:55Matthew Bainter!
01:57And Sam Campbell!
02:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:02And next to me, a man who tells me that,
02:04unlike the vast majority of the United Kingdom,
02:07he found the felling of the sycamore gap tree
02:10absolutely hilarious.
02:12LAUGHTER
02:14Yee-hee-hee!
02:15Little Alex Hart!
02:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:22Hello, Greg. Hello, everyone.
02:23It's the Champion of Champions.
02:25It must be a tough, tough prize category, am I right?
02:28Oh, he's always right, although he dresses to the left.
02:33And the prize category is the biggest betrayal.
02:36Yes.
02:37Ooh.
02:38The audience were right to ooh.
02:39Enough respect.
02:41Greg will give five points for the biggest betrayal
02:43in what is probably the only time ever
02:45that celebrities being duplicitous on television
02:47are rewarded and celebrated.
02:49Hmm.
02:50Right.
02:51Let us begin.
02:52Hello, Andy.
02:53Hello, Greg.
02:54What betrayal have you brought in for this,
02:55most auspicious of occasions?
02:57Well, I brought in the official Taskmaster book.
03:01OK, well, this is the book.
03:02Oh.
03:03So there you go.
03:04Definitive truth.
03:05Definitive truth.
03:06The real story by the real star.
03:11But the real betrayal is...
03:13I'm going to have to take you to the index, Greg.
03:16Look at that.
03:17Oh.
03:18Not a single mention, mate.
03:19Look at this...
03:20LAUGHTER
03:22Not...
03:24It hurts big time.
03:27It's a big betrayal.
03:28It's a big betrayal.
03:29It's a strong opener.
03:30Can you beat that, John, of books?
03:31It doesn't even mention me.
03:33Would it not impress you more
03:35to betray the only person on earth
03:37you want to be betrayed?
03:39Alex, two months ago, you received an email from me.
03:42Here it is.
03:43Sorry to ask, but my pal is running a charity auction
03:45and he's a Big Horn section fan, as if...
03:48LAUGHTER
03:50Did you sort out a few signed posters?
03:52Cheers, mate.
03:53And I think I did provide the posters.
03:54Yes, you did.
03:55So what there was, was a horn section show
03:58in the Aylesbury Waterside Theatre.
04:01Yeah, we're doing quite well.
04:02Yeah.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:04So I added Alex's signed posters for the audience
04:07to see as they walked into the show,
04:09but I did annotate them somewhat with my own messages.
04:13First off, a career low.
04:15LAUGHTER
04:19Aylesbury is a syphilis hotspot.
04:21LAUGHTER
04:24Only here to escape our Harrodin wives.
04:27LAUGHTER
04:29Exemplary.
04:30APPLAUSE
04:31Exemplary.
04:32Strong.
04:33This is strong.
04:34Who's next?
04:35Maisie.
04:36Well, I've not betrayed either of you.
04:38I have betrayed my fellow competitors.
04:41Ooh.
04:42Oh.
04:43Yes.
04:44So there's a lot of chat forums where people want to know
04:47behind-the-scenes goss about comedians,
04:51specifically some of you guys.
04:54And the day I came home from winning my series,
04:57I set up a fake account on this chat forum
05:00to contribute scathing rumours about these lovely men.
05:04LAUGHTER
05:05APPLAUSE
05:07All right.
05:08So...
05:10Somebody was basically wanting some tea on the UK comedy scene,
05:15so I came straight in with, well, before a gig,
05:17Andy Zaltzman kept asking if tampons were a myth.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:22And then I thought I'd add in, with my good friend Matt Bainton here,
05:25that I also worked with Matt Bainton,
05:27and when I said I liked football,
05:28he made me list the starting eleven of the past five FA Cup winners.
05:32LAUGHTER
05:33Luckily for you, I didn't discuss you on the chat forum.
05:37I discussed you in the very big WhatsApp group
05:40that is for female comedians.
05:42LAUGHTER
05:44Here we go.
05:46LAUGHTER
05:48I mean, I said, first of all,
05:50Sam Campbell referred to me as that lady comic
05:52throughout the entire time of working together.
05:54LAUGHTER
05:55That's Lou Sanders.
05:57Lou Sanders is my landlord.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:02Disappointing but not surprising.
06:05And John Robbins starts all of his sentences around women
06:08with the phrase,
06:09as one of the few good men left in comedy.
06:11LAUGHTER
06:13Is this Catherine?
06:14That's Catherine Ryan.
06:15Yeah.
06:16Saying gross.
06:18Saying gross.
06:19LAUGHTER
06:20And you didn't tell them it was a wind-up,
06:22you just put the comment?
06:23No.
06:24LAUGHTER
06:25This is lovely.
06:26Matthew.
06:27Well, I felt the biggest possible betrayal here
06:31would be to betray this show.
06:33Ooh.
06:34On a very big public scale, so this is what I did.
06:37LAUGHTER
06:43I wonder if you could possibly have to go that way.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:48LAUGHTER
06:50APPLAUSE
06:51Yeah.
06:52APPLAUSE
06:54That is nice.
06:55And, I would say, expensive.
06:57Yeah.
06:58750 pounds.
06:59Ooh!
07:00LAUGHTER
07:01The scale of it is lovely.
07:03Yeah.
07:04Sam.
07:05Well, yeah.
07:06I think it is a betrayal that there is only one female comedian
07:08on this entire dais.
07:09Yeah.
07:10So, you listen here, Mr Alex Horne,
07:13and you listen here, Mr Greg Walters...
07:16David!
07:17LAUGHTER
07:20Because I think it's about time someone taught you
07:23the alphabet, A to Z.
07:26I go on a shopping spree with Aisling B.
07:33And Bridget Christie makes my eyes misty.
07:36Oh, Catherine Boha, you are just so smart.
07:38Dane Ender should have been played by a woman.
07:41I think no-one make you giddy like that ever city.
07:43Fatia Elgory has the best Instagram stories.
07:45You can't hold a candle to Al Grace Campbell.
07:48I'm crying in my silence on female comedians.
07:58Harriet Kemsley, hope you're getting your REM sleep
08:01while joking on putty from sweet Izzy Soddy.
08:03Put your hands on the air for Jenny and Claire.
08:05There should be a monument to Gary Goleman.
08:08Lucy Beaumont, this is your moment.
08:10Forget Aladdin, wish to see Mezi Adam.
08:12Natasha Dimitri, every TV show you should feature you.
08:15Female comedians, I want you to hold me accountable.
08:17Sketch Cozo Golda, because of Olivia Colman.
08:20Patty Harrison, there is no comparison.
08:23Queen Latifah is in some comedy movies.
08:25Rosie Jones, I want to make words.
08:28Sarah Millican, make another from silicon.
08:30Tati McLeod, is cloning allowed?
08:32Can I get a multi-pack of a rouge ash rack?
08:35And what about the female comedians from other planets?
08:38Vogue is talking the talk.
08:40She's got a new poker, sharing her thoughts.
08:42Toachita Koala, you're a comedy master.
08:44I'd like to pick your brains over a tikka masala.
08:47Sontorial Zork, I heard your podcast with Vogue.
08:50Man, you guys, that's such a nice door.
08:52Yee-Pitton you, your last basher was you.
08:54I heard you, instead of laughing, you goop.
08:57Zoe Lyons, broader sky her irons.
08:59I'm breaking my silence.
09:02APPLAUSE
09:04OK.
09:18Who are you portraying?
09:20LAUGHTER
09:21Oh, I brought in a special glove.
09:25Yeah, this is what Sam has actually brought in.
09:27LAUGHTER
09:32OK.
09:33OK.
09:35LAUGHTER
09:37Can I go back to my original question?
09:39LAUGHTER
09:40Who are you portraying?
09:41No, no, I'm saying that we feel betrayed by you and your nasty little boys club.
09:46LAUGHTER
09:48And a lot of them have been on Taskmaster.
09:51LAUGHTER
09:52That is a good point.
09:54LAUGHTER
09:55Well, here are my scores.
09:57You ready?
09:58Cool.
09:59I'm going to give Sam one point, because I don't think you know who you've betrayed.
10:03LAUGHTER
10:04Andy Zaltzman, two points, seems fair.
10:06John, three points.
10:08Matthew Bainton, four points, because I like the scale of it.
10:11And who else can I give five points to but Maisie Adam?
10:14Well done, Maisie Adam, she wins the title!
10:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:20All right, let's let this firmest battle begin!
10:23Oh, yes.
10:24And first up, it's Verses followed by Curses.
10:27Ooh!
10:29MUSIC
10:43Hello.
10:44Hi, Maisie.
10:45John Robbins.
10:46Alex Horne.
10:51Ta-da!
10:52There he is.
10:53Hello, Andy.
10:54Hello.
10:55PHONE RINGS
10:58Hi, Sam.
10:59How have you been since the victory?
11:01Yeah, good.
11:02I haven't had any acting work.
11:04Would you say that's a coincidence, or...?
11:08I've got to ask, how's your back?
11:09Yeah, all right.
11:11OK.
11:12I did wrestling.
11:13I wasn't dressed as a nun when I did that.
11:14But I landed on my back, so that's happened.
11:17Great.
11:18I'm a drugged-up nun with a guitar, essentially.
11:20Write, memorise and perform the most powerful poem
11:25about being a champion.
11:27You must perform the entirety of your poem
11:29sat on the special chair.
11:30You have 15 minutes to write and memorise your poem,
11:33then a maximum of five minutes to perform it.
11:35Most powerful champion poem performance wins.
11:39Your time starts now.
11:42Can't be that difficult.
11:43Shakespeare churned him out, didn't he?
11:45There's a whiff of Shakespeare about you.
11:48I used to write a lot of poetry back in the day.
11:51I would write lots of pretty moving poems
11:53about girls who didn't fancy me.
11:55Oh.
11:56Did that change?
11:57No.
11:58Lady repellent.
11:59This is how I'll remember it.
12:00I think they're called acrostic poems.
12:02I'll definitely remember it,
12:03cos I've just got to remember what it is I'm spelling,
12:06which is going to be champion.
12:08OK, so now it's just learning time.
12:10Mm-hm.
12:11I need more time.
12:12I need more time!
12:13I see.
12:14It's not a chair.
12:15A chair is something you sit on.
12:16That's the chair.
12:17That is not a definition of a chair.
12:18It's a chair.
12:19It's a chair.
12:20It's a chair.
12:21It's a special chair.
12:22It's not a chair.
12:23I see.
12:31It's not a chair.
12:32A chair is something you sit on.
12:33That's the chair.
12:34That is not a definition of a chair.
12:35It's a chair.
12:36It's a special chair.
12:37It's not a chair.
12:43Well, well, well.
12:44Seeing them all come in one by one,
12:46it really did make me question my judgments over the series.
12:50The sister bad back and the four tromps.
12:54Let's have a look.
12:55First to orate and gyrate, yes, in those shorts,
12:59it's Matthew Bainton.
13:01I'm going to swing on this way for obvious reasons.
13:09OK.
13:11A champion wins.
13:13A champion...
13:15Fuck yeah.
13:16A champion wins.
13:18A champion defeats.
13:20A champion destroys.
13:22A champion...
13:23Never cheats.
13:25But after the battle...
13:27After the fight...
13:29What keeps a champion up at night?
13:32The champion's burden.
13:33The champion's...
13:35The champion's burden.
13:37The champion's curse.
13:39When all is done,
13:41There can be...
13:42Only one!
13:43There can be...
13:44Only one!
13:45LAUGHTER
13:46APPLAUSE
13:57Pretty powerful stuff.
13:58Because it's not just about what it takes to be a champion,
14:00it's about what it costs to be a champion.
14:02And what it costs is your acting career.
14:04Yes.
14:05Despite the ghoulies, it was a strong poem.
14:08OK, one part of our final is done,
14:10and it's so good to have our old friends back.
14:13Yes, it is.
14:14In fact, I put together a little highlight reel,
14:16and I thought we could watch that before the break.
14:18If you'd like to see it, Greg?
14:19Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
14:20Why don't you just marry them?
14:22Here's some adverts.
14:23APPLAUSE
14:34Hello.
14:35Welcome back to this tremendous tussle of the Tusk Titans.
14:39Yes, and it's nice to see Sam Campbell again too, isn't it?
14:42So...
14:44Before the break, they were performing the most powerful poem
14:47about being a champion whilst riding a bucking bronco.
14:50Now, back on the ball we go with Randy Zaltzman.
14:59Are you wearing a box?
15:00Yes, I am.
15:02The world where once the penguin feared to tread,
15:07now bestrode by this titan of Taskmerian fate,
15:11who wields the sacred willow,
15:13and on his head that helmet showing the world that's...
15:18Where have we got to?
15:23Showing the world.
15:25It's never too late to grasp from the chasm of eternal gloom
15:30a sprig of hope,
15:31or thus the champion of series 18 who sprang in triumph from human womb.
15:35Proof of the world the picture can be seen,
15:37even in a hero who's over 50.
15:39Balding's quite out of shape and locked in Alex Horne's darkened, task-filled, harrowing room.
15:48The end.
15:49Finish?
15:50You're finished, mate.
15:51Thank you for the poem, Andy.
15:52You're an evil fucking bastard.
15:54Well, it was supposed to be a poet doing a powerful performance.
15:55Yeah.
15:56Honestly, what I've written down is it was a bit like watching an old man fail and
15:57make a mistake.
15:58It was supposed to be a poet doing a powerful performance.
15:59Honestly, what I've written down is it was a bit like watching an old man fail a medical.
16:00Well, potato potato.
16:01You know?
16:02Yeah.
16:03It was supposed to be a poet doing a powerful performance.
16:06Honestly, what I've written down is it was a bit like watching an old man fail a medical.
16:11Well, potato potato.
16:14You know?
16:15Who's next?
16:16Next up, it's the turn of John Robbins to recite his poem whilst having his nipples tossed
16:33all over the place.
16:36But you can't just need to make one adjustment.
16:40There we go.
16:41That's a great question.
16:43There we go, Hemberton, blessed dweeb of cryptic, Willan and Mohammed, crowd-pleasing, thick-o-diptic, McNally, pants, weee, Prosecco smile and Monroe nose, our champion in Freddy pose, hi-ya, ow, our champion with record score,
17:12Robins, they cry, let him rain once more!
17:20OK.
17:22You got to level one with that one? On that one, but on other ones I got to the max, didn't I?
17:34You were writing about your fellow contestants as well. Yes.
17:36When you first got on, you said you had to make an adjustment. Yes.
17:39And I wrote down, I thought that maybe you were putting part of you inside of you.
17:44LAUGHTER
17:47No, I was very much just ensuring that the Robins lineage of champions can continue.
17:53LAUGHTER
17:55Good, who's next?
17:56It is the time of Sam Campbell and Maisie.
18:00LAUGHTER
18:02Oh.
18:04What? Are you joking?
18:06That's the magic chair?
18:08It's the special chair, yes.
18:09Special chair.
18:11I've told you I've got a back injury and you thought, yeah, bubber on there.
18:15You look like you're going to give birth.
18:17LAUGHTER
18:19Oh, far out.
18:20Oh, my God.
18:21Life is insane.
18:23Some people say it's a game of snakes and ladders.
18:26Champion of champions.
18:28How did we get here?
18:30Ah!
18:31So many.
18:32Blood, sweat and tears.
18:34A ladder and something happens.
18:36And something happens.
18:37Not nice.
18:38Many have failed, but not I.
18:41Pushing through, task after task, with my eyes, oh, on the prize.
18:47And the real champions are nurses and people who design hospitals and people who have troubled
18:52teeth.
18:53In pursuit of Big Daddy Greg's approval.
18:57And, of course, Roger Federer and Carlos Alcruz.
19:00Oh, I'm here to stay.
19:02Ain't no removal.
19:04And I'm going to pass over to Alicorne.
19:11Everyone's talking about this guy.
19:13They're not all playing good to.
19:15New Horizons beckon.
19:17Victory again?
19:18You reckon?
19:19Would you like me to stop the magic carpet?
19:21Yes.
19:22And that's the life of a champion.
19:27Maisie, thank you for your powerful performance.
19:29You're a lawsuit waiting to happen.
19:31Just so you know.
19:34That's honestly one of the saddest things I've ever seen.
19:43You look like you're microwaving me.
19:46I remember it being quicker and thinking, this'll look cool.
19:53It.
19:54Did.
19:55Not.
19:57Sam.
19:58The poem was rubbish.
20:00Yes, it's also not the poem he wrote in the room.
20:02In the room he wrote,
20:03Everyone is a champion.
20:04Roger Federer.
20:05I feel 100%.
20:06My life has been amazing.
20:07Lonely at the top.
20:15It's time to score, Greg.
20:16Well, I sort of felt the same about Andy and Sam's really.
20:20I could only give them two points because of the criteria of the poem.
20:23Right.
20:24Two points.
20:25So I'm going to give them two points each.
20:26To Sam and Andy.
20:27That's correct.
20:28Now, I do think, you know, you're a physical disadvantage because you had a terrible wrestling injury.
20:32Yes.
20:33But I just don't think we can...
20:34No, I get what you're saying.
20:35You're saying three points and get back in the kitchen.
20:36I hear you.
20:39And then, I think, Matt, you couldn't hold on long enough to give your poem the audience it deserved.
20:44Whereas John held on.
20:46He slagged off his fellow contestants.
20:49And he did it in a very powerful way.
20:51Four points and five points.
20:52And that's an empty.
20:53Right.
20:54Here we are.
20:55Five points for your mother.
20:56There we go.
20:57I'd like to see a champion scoreboard, please.
20:59Three of the champions cannot be wrought apart.
21:02Matt, Maisie and John all have eight points.
21:04Oh-ho!
21:06Also Andy and Sam are there.
21:07Four and three.
21:10Then let us see the champions task some more.
21:13OK, we've had poetic metres.
21:15And now for two more metres in a race against time.
21:29Hey, Matt.
21:30Hold, Alex.
21:31Hello.
21:32Oh.
21:33How are you?
21:34You look a little bit...
21:35Stiff.
21:36There's your task.
21:37Right by the start line.
21:38Oh, what have you got in store for me?
21:39Oh, don't do this to me.
21:40No!
21:41Oh, you're cruel.
21:42Oh.
21:43Oh, wow.
21:44You alright?
21:45Win the two-metre race.
21:46Oh, wow.
21:47You alright?
21:48Win the two-metre race.
21:52Oh, yes.
21:53Oh, well, go out.
21:54Oh, no, no, no!
21:55Oh, that's all.
21:57Oh, no, no, no, no.
21:59No, no, no, no, no.
22:01No, no, no, no.
22:04No, no, no, no.
22:06No, no, no, no, no, no.
22:09first to break the tape wins you must start the race after the starters bang and behind the
22:19starting line if any part of your body moves beyond the starting line or you break the tape
22:25before the starters bang you are disqualified finally every time the bike wheel stops spinning
22:35your final time will be doubled and throughout the task you must big yourself up like give myself
22:41compliments yeah and make myself feel nice you don't want that wheel to stop i know did anyone
22:55understand this task no no no it really did cause confusion yes it's a two meter sprint that's all
23:01you need to know should we start the race let's start the race okay first up it's series 17
23:06versus series 19. that's right it's matthew on your marks luke and john
23:13what are you doing taking the bike off so i can ride the bike do you want a tool
23:18i don't need a tool i am a tool so there's no other course no this is the course it's a two
23:26meter running track that's it i'm the best i've got this where's the starter i just don't know he
23:33works independently from me or she
23:41why is there someone in there
23:46okay i got eight minutes and 19 seconds before the bang right but i don't know what i'm supposed
23:52to be doing with my time picking yourself up john do i need to big myself up any bigger
23:59so waiting isn't it yeah but i'm good at waiting
24:07that's now safe it's secure six five four three
24:15at a specific
24:22you've completed the course after the bang yeah
24:28don't keep that bit in
24:34well i think both men made the mistake of thinking that this task was cleverer than it is basically
24:38you even looking for another course at one point yeah it was the amount of time i've thought about it
24:44so much since i was sure that i would come here tonight and watch it and find out there was a whole other
24:49aspect waiting hiding somewhere there wasn't it was just really there wasn't you're not going to
24:56tell us times now i wouldn't think let's see some more then okay two more men now sorry maizey but
25:01they're not particularly manly men because it's salmon and you're better than me
25:08so you don't want that i'm one of the best ever right oh he's flying right
25:15can i can i move this you do whatever you want you've been talking about me behind my back i'll tell you
25:19why you're by my back because you are in my shadow and you are nothing to me or and and i'll yeah
25:26i mean this has been one of the most impressive displays of moving alex hall on a bicycle yeah
25:31i'll move the tape no not move the tape so you're just going to do that and wait for the bank yeah
25:39are you familiar with voodoo dolls you piss me off sometimes i don't know what's love talking to
25:45you well the tape's gone now yeah you've got to stay this side of the starters line the starters line
25:50oh shit well i was getting sorted is it can i decide yeah so i'll the bang will happen i spin it then i
26:01run no the wheel's got to spin the whole time every time you stop it your final time has doubled
26:12i need to find a starter now do you think bayton's doing this oh bayton's just perfect oh
26:18bayton oh did you see bayton oh payton's just great what can you press that
26:34oh i just saw bayton in the play it was scrumptious
26:48okay thank you okay
26:56indeed i think you went off to have sex with an effigy of others
27:02but if not we just watched the cricket together
27:05sam you spent a lot of the time sarcastically reviewing matthew bayton's
27:10yeah um i think that's like jealousy and um green doesn't look good on me and i apologize and it's
27:17just yeah jealousy yeah honestly think you're the thinking woman's crumpet and
27:22seriously
27:25we're halfway through this champion of champions showdown and already it's incredibly
27:30absolutely incredible that any of them ever won a series
27:33and now alex is going to do an impression of one of the beatles
27:39hello ringo yes it was ringo here's the man man
27:51hello welcome back to the third part of this riveting competition there is one race left her body
28:00might not have been match fit but what about her brain let's find out it is maizey adam
28:08we'll just move this closer won't we do you need a hand because of your terrible
28:11back injury yeah come on that's it that's it here no keep going right just bob it there bob it here yep
28:23maybe i could tie something to it and then the moment i hear the bang
28:27break it uh-huh could you go and get me some string string string string great well done
28:41am i looking at the starter now no the starter's not one of these people
28:48are you the starter yeah do you do do are you
28:52are sorry oh you've got the button yep right three two one
29:12you've broken the finish line after the bang very fast see ya hey crazy
29:16wow wow you broke the tape must be the well i think you've done really well
29:26fuck off surely she can't be beaten let's find out well we can see all five running at the same
29:34time yes please it's time for this year's two meter race three two one
29:40oh
29:59sam's been like you're not spinning the wheel particularly yes sam your wheel stopped 21 times
30:05so we have to double 6.11 seconds 21 times which works out as 213 500 minutes which is 21 weeks
30:19sorry not point not one yeah my time yeah i i i'm so like honestly put that on my gravestone
30:26in uh top level athletics if you go within 0.1 second of the gun going off it's considered to be a
30:36full start because that's beyond the scope of human reactions so greg are you happy with all the
30:43performances i'm happy with all the performances and nothing zoltzman can say can change my mind on
30:48that in which case sam gets one point andy two john three matt four but maizey allen get five points
30:52bang bang bang bang bang okay lovely do we have one more tough task for our champs to tackle oh yes we
31:03do and just like you greg it's bold it's big and it's really very simple
31:20oh wow hello sam oh who's that it is i matthew bainton what the what's going on in here hello maizey
31:34hello hello okay oh that is good
31:40oh right on be brilliant for a minute most brilliant minute wins you have a total of 20
31:56minutes your time starts now i mean it just would be tiresome if i got a guitar out again wouldn't it
32:04what if it's all of history in the minute oh yeah we've got primordial obviously gave people bronze
32:11age huns attila the hun yes attila the hun this is good i've got my dear oh i want to play a game
32:21i mean they say stick to what you know but mostly what i know is cricket stats
32:25yeah i'm gonna go and have a think all right okay don't look at it
32:34it's just too much i think i'm just gonna do a till of the hun the life of a till the hun
32:40in a minute yeah
32:47however brilliant what we're about to see is for me nothing's going to be as brilliant as
32:51matthew blinding himself and then smashing into smaller okay well two brilliant champions first of
32:59all andy and maizey
33:02andy i'm down here maizey maizey maizey
33:26oh no i'll talk about that um
33:301080
33:36maizey
33:38maizey
33:52maizey
33:53Really? You've got three seconds.
34:02Right. There we go.
34:05Ah. None in a bush. None in a bush.
34:08None in a bush. You were in there. Yeah, being brilliant at hiding.
34:12OK, thanks, maybe.
34:14APPLAUSE
34:17This is a bit of wordplay by you, isn't it? Minute.
34:23Well, you just never know on this show what the hidden meanings are.
34:27Yeah. Most brilliant minute or most brilliant minute witness.
34:30Oh, oh.
34:32It's clever. I love that little Andy, by the way.
34:36I love little Andy as well, he did lots of brilliant things. Thank you.
34:40Maisie, how did you think it went?
34:42LAUGHTER
34:45Genuinely, on the day, I thought, smash this.
34:49Yeah. I mean, I couldn't find her. I didn't know what she was doing.
34:52She left and I couldn't find her. And isn't that brilliant?
34:55You'd think you'd spotted none in a bush.
34:57No, she's fully inside the bush.
35:00I mean, they could also.
35:01LAUGHTER
35:04Family show, Greg.
35:07She was fully inside the bush.
35:09LAUGHTER
35:11OK, who's next?
35:12Now for a man who could do with some even more brilliant pants,
35:14it's Matt Bainton.
35:16LAUGHTER
35:19primeiro
35:29LAUGHTER
35:34LAUGHTER
35:39LAUGHTER
36:12The sun is the most brilliant thing isn't it in our solar system. It is
36:2035.7 octillion lumens the projector at IMAX is only 4,000 so that's
36:27There wasn't the facts about the Sun you just there was the song adapted your face to look like something which is also what I did
36:42Matthew I thought it was powerful you would
36:46There is just one part left for our champions who will win and take my headless body and attach my head to it
36:53Which they already own and then what will they do with me?
36:57Oh
37:12Former champion rising head and shoulders above the rest to become the ultra champ
37:17But first let's finish this brilliant task we simply must and it's time for the final two guys to be brilliant for a minute
37:24It's Sam and John
37:26Welcome to the 60 second game show where the crew of taskmaster are going to compete to get money to their chosen charities
37:38We've got a minute on the clock Alex gonna blow his whistle our crew are going to shout out their charities and throw the ducks into the buckets which have
37:46Didn't didn't see that didn't agree to that and that's fine Alex. Are you ready to be brilliant for a minute?
37:52Yes, please. Okay, let's do some bloody good
37:55And we're off the hospice of st. Francis
37:58Well, that went in the hundreds
37:59Did it? Yeah, it did
38:01Markinsons
38:02Markinsons, that was in and as we know they come out that counts
38:06Straight forward in the street
38:08Delta UK
38:10Mind mental health
38:12Well, that was basically it
38:14Let's get a coffee, please
38:21Welcome to Attila's the cafe where we think Attila the Han is just so much fun
38:26We love Attila the Han
38:28Kids against hunger
38:30Dream flight
38:31Or two
38:33And you helped that one in and I'm glad
38:34There you go
38:36That'll be $3.50
38:37All right, card
38:38Card's great
38:39Great Ormond Street
38:41Lovely
38:42Ten seconds left
38:43And that's counting
38:44Nice if someone goes for one of these little red ones
38:46Not a base
38:47Probably
38:48And that's going in
38:49$150
38:50And that's $150
38:51Very generous, John
38:52Thanks
38:53It's close to a grand
38:55It's close to a grand
38:57And
38:58Charity matters
39:00Thanks, John
39:01There you go, thank you so much
39:03Great, thank you
39:04Actually, I'm so sorry, but I don't want a receipt
39:07Welcome to Attila's
39:14Welcome to Attila's
39:15Welcome to Attila's
39:16Welcome to Attila's
39:17The cafe where we think Attila the Han
39:20It's just so much fun
39:22It's just so much fun
39:23It's just so much fun
39:24We have to support local businesses and local, like, cafes
39:41Stick of the chains
39:43Stick of the chains
39:51I think it's brilliant that you raise that money
39:53I do
39:54I don't think the game show is brilliant
39:56Okay, sorry I raised so much money for charity
39:59What was the name of the game show?
40:01The 60-second game show
40:03I just think why go with that title when you add Chuck It, Duck It, Book It right there
40:09Can I just say, I can't stop thinking about little Andy
40:12I want to see him having, like, a regular-sized meal
40:15Like, imagine, like, the pizza that we would have
40:16But it's, um, little Andy having that
40:18And, like, where does he live?
40:19And, like, what does he get up to?
40:21All I'm saying is I'm pretty much addicted to little Andy
40:23Yeah
40:25Right
40:26The Tin of the Hornet was a fairly awful
40:28Murderous
40:29The Scourge of God
40:30Yeah
40:31With his nickname
40:32Ah, I thought this might come up
40:33LAUGHTER
40:38I think he used to, like, boil his enemies alive
40:41I think you've got to separate the barista from the boiling
40:47Okay, Reddy
40:48Um, obviously, Macy's, you know
40:50I, I mean, I enjoyed seeing her painted face green and hide in a bush
40:53Dress as a nun
40:54But it wasn't brilliant at one point
40:55Oh, okay
40:56Um, I think it's brilliant that John raised money for charity
40:58Right
40:59I thought his game show was terrible
41:01I'm giving him two points
41:02Two points to John, okay
41:03I'm going to give Andy three points
41:04Okay
41:05Matthew
41:06I'm going to give four points
41:07And I don't know why I'm doing it
41:09I'm giving Sam Campbell five points
41:11There you go
41:12Well done, Sam Campbell, five points
41:14All right, here we go then
41:15Please head to the stage for your final, final task
41:17All right, here we go then
41:18Please head to the stage for your final, final task
41:19Final, final task
41:30Hello, baby boy
41:33Hello
41:34Who will be leading the task?
41:35Series 18's champion
41:37Zaltzman
41:38Zaltzman
41:39Andy
41:40Using only tape
41:42Turn yourself into a famous person from the previous millennium
41:47Who you'd like to see on Taskmaster
41:50Best all-round new Taskmaster contestant wins
41:54You have three minutes
41:56Three minutes?
41:57Yes
41:58Whew, that's going to be riveting television
41:59Yeah, yeah, yeah
42:00Ready, Greg?
42:01Ready
42:02They're off
42:09I find that making a decision that push is quite disturbing
42:13Alex
42:14Yes, John
42:15The tape doesn't stick on your face
42:17Yes, it does
42:24I hesitate to ask, but how are you doing, Sam?
42:26Very well, thank you
42:27It's anyone's game
42:30You'll be happy to know Green is not enrolled
42:38Oh, shit
42:39And there we go
42:40APPLAUSE
42:48Contestants, please stand on your spots
42:51Oh, my God
43:00Oh, my God
43:05I can't...
43:06Oh, I think I'm going to hurt myself
43:08I can only presume Andy has become the son?
43:11No, no, Joan of Arc
43:13Why do you think that Joan of Arc would be good on Taskmaster, I suppose, is the question?
43:29Well, she heard voices in her head
43:32And that's very much like what doing this show is like
43:36Yeah
43:37And, of course, if Taskmaster was set during the time of Joan, we would perhaps burn people
43:42We can't rule it out
43:44I may as well say it because if anyone's feeling uncomfortable with that idea
43:48Strap yourself in for Joan
43:49LAUGHTER
43:55So, next to Joan of Arc, who do we have, Greg?
43:57It's the Fuehrer, I presume
44:00Charlie Chaplin
44:01Ah
44:02Oh, thank you for that
44:04APPLAUSE
44:05It's a great booking
44:08What a relief
44:09Yes
44:10And why do you think Chaplin would be good on Taskmaster, Joan?
44:12Well, one of the great physical comedians of the last millennium
44:17Who I'd like to hear talk a bit more than I did
44:22So, our middle contestant, and who do we have?
44:25Well, I'll tell you who we've got
44:26We've got David Bowie, surely
44:28Yeah
44:29APPLAUSE
44:34And why do you think the slim white duke would have been a good contestant?
44:38Well, from what I've seen, white men really do get booked
44:42LAUGHTER
44:47Next to Bowie, Greg
44:49Now, who is this?
44:51Is it Liza Minnelli?
44:53No
44:54Oh
44:55This is Dawn French
44:57APPLAUSE
45:00Can I say for the record, we agree that Dawn, you'd be great on Taskmaster
45:04Maybe after she sees this
45:06Oh, yeah, she'll look at this and go, that's a show that respects me
45:12And finally, at the end of the line
45:15Are you a person?
45:17Yes, technically, yes
45:19I feel it might be a Power Ranger
45:21No
45:22Are you from a movie, Sam?
45:23Yeah
45:25Are you a Smurf?
45:26No
45:27Is it Avatar?
45:28You're a character from Avatar
45:29Jake Sully
45:30Jake Sully
45:31Yeah
45:32Greg, there is a technicality, Avatar is set in 2154 and it was made in the early 2000s
45:35It was definitely this millennium, not the last millennium
45:38So...
45:39I'm a Smurf!
45:40LAUGHTER
45:42APPLAUSE
45:43OK, so we have no choice, unfortunately
45:49One point to Sam Campbell
45:50I'm giving Andy Zaltzman two points
45:52OK
45:53I think I'm going to put Dawn French above Chaplin on this occasion
45:57And I recognised the great songwriter immediately
46:00It's five points to Maisie O
46:02There we go, five points
46:03APPLAUSE
46:04To Barry
46:06Please come down, we'll add back to your final score!
46:09CHEERING
46:10This has truly been a tale of Maisie and men
46:19But now four of them must walk away with their golden tails between their golden legs
46:25Whereas one will walk out of here waving their tail around like a flippin' lunatic
46:30So, let's ask the man with the calculator
46:33Oh, Mr. Calculator
46:35LAUGHTER
46:36Who has come out on top?
46:38Very close, very close
46:40The champion of champions
46:42One point in it at the end
46:46The winner with 20 points
46:47It's Matt Vaynton!
46:49CHEERING
46:52Matt Vaynton is the new champion of champions
46:55Please pop off your Touchmaster Champions!
46:59CHEERING
47:00APPLAUSE
47:29You're welcome
47:31And now we've got a baby
47:32Part 3 of the нравится
47:33The winner of the Championships
47:34But you can never see the winner of the show
47:35You can do it
47:36You can do it
47:37It's Matt Vaynton
47:38Look!
47:39It's so top of the stakes
47:40You can do it
47:41You can do it
47:42It's so top of the luck
47:43You can do it
47:44You can do it
47:45You can do it
47:47And you can do it
47:47You can?
47:48It's...
47:49You can do it
47:50You can do it
47:51You can do it
47:52You can do it
47:53You can do it
47:54You can do it
47:55You can do it
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