Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 2 days ago
90 Day Pillow Talk Season 32 Episode 16 br Crikey

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Oh, Santa.
00:01Merry Christmas.
00:03I love it.
00:03You look good in Santa, Alfie.
00:05Oh, yeah, I do.
00:06I want to have steak with Santa.
00:08Oh, you can.
00:09Yeah, I love it, Santa.
00:13Santa, I need more.
00:15No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:17You're breaking Santa's budget.
00:23Matthew's, I've never seen him like it, Greta.
00:26And I'm worried about him because he loves you.
00:31If it was my son, I'd be like, listen here, bitch.
00:33What are you thinking?
00:35My son hasn't eaten anything for like a week.
00:37I know, I bring you in my home,
00:39and this is what you do to our week?
00:41I would so do this for you.
00:43You would have to have like a little earpiece,
00:45and you'd be able to hear me.
00:46I could be like, clear the scene.
00:48Clear the scene, no.
00:49Do you want to go try this?
00:51No.
00:53Leave me alone.
00:54I can never go back to that part of my life
00:56but if we ever get divorced,
00:57like going back to this feistiness,
00:59I don't know if I can do it.
01:00Like if I go to a younger woman, you know?
01:02You think the 20 years old will want your old ass?
01:06She praying.
01:07I have too much kids not to know that.
01:10Yeah, you are a professional team make.
01:12Might make one a night.
01:14The first time I proposed to Patia,
01:16it was very lackluster.
01:18You know, we were in bed.
01:19It was Christmas morning.
01:20I just slipped the ring on her finger.
01:22You know, if it didn't work with that ring,
01:24get rid of it.
01:25Get rid of it completely, aren't they?
01:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:27Yeah, get rid of it.
01:28Start fresh.
01:29I don't think you should propose
01:30on holidays or birthdays, you know?
01:32Make it some special thing.
01:33Make it something special
01:34like July 28th, March 12th.
01:38That's my birthday.
01:39Oh.
01:45Woo-hoo!
01:47Three days till Christmas.
01:49Three days till Christmas.
01:51I'm so excited Christmas is here.
01:53I get to spend it with my favorite person
01:55in this whole world.
01:55I'm excited to see you,
01:56and I love your little elf hat.
01:58I like yours.
01:58What's it say?
01:59I do it for the hoes.
02:00I do it for the hoes.
02:03I do.
02:03I do it for the hoes.
02:04That's gross.
02:05All right, I like mine now.
02:06Ho, ho, ho.
02:07Joby, where are you?
02:08Come on.
02:09Ah, I've been spending some time
02:11growing out the hair on my chest.
02:13Oh, my God.
02:14It's disgusting.
02:15I don't even want to talk.
02:17That's disgusting.
02:18Do it in hand, baby.
02:19Ew.
02:20You know, like, I hate hairy chest.
02:23Ew.
02:24Even your burrick looks dirty.
02:27Santa, you ready to watch the other way?
02:29Ho, ho, ho.
02:29Ready to watch the other way?
02:31I predict that there's going to be a lot of confusion
02:35and arguing with Madeline and Luke.
02:38But it needs to stop, because both of them
02:40will get nothing from me for Christmas.
02:43Okay.
02:44And why you predict for me for Christmas, Santa?
02:46What I predict for you for Christmas?
02:49I don't have sex tonight.
02:51Ho, ho, ho.
02:53Merry Christmas.
02:56I'm getting out of this hot outfit.
02:58I got to watch the show.
02:59I can't watch it in this.
03:00I'm suffocating.
03:02Where's quack we at, huh?
03:03Where's your daddy, huh?
03:05Merry Christmas.
03:06Merry Christmas.
03:08There you go.
03:09Nice cold brewskis.
03:13Christmas, baby.
03:14Christmas spirit.
03:15Happy holidays.
03:15Happy holidays.
03:17You know?
03:17Thank you for having me.
03:19It's been a pretty good time here.
03:20I got to tell you.
03:21Yeah, you've been here for, like, a week now.
03:22About a week.
03:23Enough is enough.
03:24Enough is enough, yeah.
03:26There's no other way to do this
03:27since we're double-fisted.
03:28Not at all.
03:30Let's see.
03:30It's beautiful.
03:37Here we go.
03:39Woo!
03:40I'm so excited for this episode.
03:41Oh, brother.
03:42Where are we?
03:43We're in London, mate.
03:45England.
03:46Oh, where are you?
03:48Oh, my God.
03:49It's a kangaroo.
03:50Oh, they're cute.
03:52All right.
03:52Dylan and Patia.
03:54He looks like a Ken.
03:55Like a Texas Ken.
03:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:01G'day, mate.
04:02How you going?
04:02How the bloody hell are you?
04:04Well, a long time, no see.
04:05He about to yank your arm off.
04:07Yeah, he almost...
04:08Man, Chris said, get over here, Dylan.
04:10What's going on?
04:11Okay?
04:11What, we doing some jewellery shopping?
04:14His friend is cute.
04:16Very good looking man.
04:18Is he single?
04:19Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
04:21So today, I'm going with my buddy Chris to a jewellery store to get the engagement ring that I gave Patia.
04:28Shined up.
04:29Oh, he's ready.
04:32Dylan, are you proposing?
04:34That's a beautiful ring.
04:36You know, I definitely trust this bald man to clean that ring.
04:41He reminds me of someone.
04:42I just cannot put my finger on it.
04:44He did actually give it to his partner.
04:49Yes.
04:49Before, and then he took it back.
04:51Oh.
04:54He used the oil ring?
04:55My man is recycling the product.
04:59I don't think that would be...
05:01I guess where the hell they do that at?
05:03Down under.
05:04I don't know if you should give the same woman the same ring.
05:07I think it's okay as long as it's the same woman.
05:09If it was a different woman, I'd be like, get that out of here.
05:12I don't know.
05:12It might be cursed now.
05:14Oh.
05:14Honestly, I think you should just go out for something different, man.
05:17Or maybe use the same diamonds.
05:19Put them into something else.
05:21You know, if it didn't work with that ring, get rid of it.
05:23Get rid of it completely, huh?
05:24Yeah, get rid of it.
05:26Start fresh.
05:27Are you sure you don't want to look at other rings?
05:29No, I don't.
05:30There is so much history and so many memories.
05:33So, like, it still has a sentimental value.
05:36No, I don't think it's a good idea.
05:37Oh, it don't have no sentimental value.
05:39That ring coming with vengeance and anger.
05:41It's like, when you really put that ring on, it's like Lord of the Rings.
05:45You see all that flying around.
05:47You're like, let me take it off.
05:49As soon as you put it on, that black mask and that knight start coming for you on the dragon?
05:53Nah, man.
05:54Let me take that ring off.
05:55I don't want that bad juju.
05:57The first time I proposed to Patia, it was very lackluster.
06:01You know, we were in bed.
06:02It was Christmas morning.
06:03I just slipped the ring on her finger and she said yes.
06:06I don't think you should propose on holidays or birthdays, you know?
06:09Make it some special thing.
06:11Make it something special like July 28th.
06:15Like, nothing happens there.
06:16Yeah, yeah, right.
06:17March 12th.
06:18That's my birthday.
06:19Oh.
06:20Dylan is real, real, real super cheap.
06:24So, it's like, hello, I don't have to give you a Christmas gift.
06:27I'm going to give you an engagement gift on Christmas to look like I'm giving it to you as a Christmas present.
06:33Ten years ago, you gave her the ring.
06:36You've been holding on to that ring ever since.
06:39Yeah.
06:40Ten years ago.
06:41That's crazy.
06:43I don't know.
06:43I feel like it's a little weird.
06:44That ring already has a bad energy and stuff.
06:47Annie, if that ring was a kid, that ring would be in fifth grade by now.
06:50Yeah, like Bracey.
06:51That ring would have knew how to ride a bike, throw a baseball, know how to ask for money, eat up all your food in your house, know how to swim.
07:02I love Patia.
07:04I know she makes you very happy.
07:06But your idea of happily ever after is a bit delusional.
07:10I think everybody needs a friend like that.
07:12That's just going to keep it 100.
07:13Yes.
07:14I have one.
07:15Thank God for Vanessa.
07:16What about me?
07:18You're my son.
07:19It's different.
07:19Whatever.
07:20I am feeling optimistic about the future with Patia.
07:25She's come to Australia.
07:27She's given it a good go.
07:29Think about it.
07:32I don't know how he's feeling so optimistic, you know?
07:35I mean, yeah, is it a good go?
07:37I don't know.
07:38She's trying to get in between the mother and him.
07:40You know what I'm saying?
07:41Anytime a woman tries to do that, watch out.
07:44You should know this more than anyone.
07:46Yeah.
07:46Greg, are you still attached?
07:47I'm not like, I'm not.
07:47I'm not.
07:49Where does that come from?
07:50I'm from.
07:50What do you mean, man?
07:51Why are you projecting?
07:52Ma!
07:56Where's the meatloaf?
07:57Ma!
07:58Where's the meatloaf?
08:00Where's the meatloaf, ma?
08:05All right, where are we, Jamal?
08:07Colombia.
08:08No.
08:08Oh, no.
08:08India.
08:10Oh, Colombia.
08:12Luke and Matt, we're about to find out if she's prego.
08:15Look, both of them got their arms crossed.
08:17Luke now pretending like he mad.
08:18Yeah, you know what you did.
08:20I'm confused.
08:21Are you telling me that you're pregnant right now?
08:23I can't be.
08:26Let's go.
08:27This is what I've been waiting for.
08:28I think she's just now for the wedding.
08:29That's why she's still sick.
08:31She's probably like you.
08:32You, when you are nervous, you're always like puking,
08:35like do all the kind of stuff like that too.
08:37She's not pregnant.
08:38Are we going pregnant or not pregnant?
08:40Pregnant.
08:40Pregnant?
08:41Pregnant.
08:41I mean, she's saying she was puking on the side of the road.
08:45She said she's been feeling like this for a little while.
08:47We're on a balance beam here.
08:49I'll find out she's not pregnant.
08:51Wait a second.
08:52Oh, her?
08:52Yeah.
08:53I doubt it.
08:54She's too skinny.
08:55We're about to fucking-
08:56She's too skinny?
08:57It doesn't mean anything.
08:58She's pregnant.
09:00I have too much kids not to know that.
09:02Yeah, you are a professional kid make.
09:05I might make one tonight.
09:06You're kidding me.
09:07I never gonna have no more babies.
09:09And don't, don't, don't.
09:11Don't, don't.
09:14I really, like, so scared about if he's positive.
09:18Because if you have a baby, like, I need to have a possibility.
09:23If y'all have been looking for stability,
09:24y'all are on the wrong planet.
09:26Hi, princess.
09:26Princess, they are not stable.
09:29No.
09:29Y'all should get a cat instead of dogs anyway.
09:31You have to walk dogs.
09:32Cats are just cats.
09:34Well, they cat fight.
09:35I know that.
09:35Oh, wow.
09:37I'm talking about you don't give it to me.
09:39So how are we going to get our children to the war
09:43when you and me fighting all the time
09:45when you cheating on me?
09:47Like, how?
09:48Oh, my gosh.
09:49He didn't cheat on her.
09:50He went to a bachelor party.
09:52Oh, yeah, Jovi.
09:54But they're still, like, baby, like,
09:56Oh, how's my back look?
09:57Is it very hairy?
09:57Yo, disgusting.
09:59Do you want to go try this?
10:01No.
10:03Leave me alone.
10:05Oh, God.
10:07Just take the test.
10:09You might be crying for nothing.
10:11Oh, my gosh.
10:11I can never go back to that part of my life.
10:13If we ever get divorced,
10:14like, going back to this feistiness,
10:15I don't know if I can do it.
10:17Like, if I go to a younger woman, you know?
10:18Oh, my God.
10:20Jesus Christ.
10:20You think the 20 years old will want your old ass?
10:25Please.
10:32Please, Madeline.
10:33Madeline, take the test.
10:35You can do it.
10:36She's a kid.
10:37Only thing you need is a couple of drops.
10:39You got to face reality.
10:40You know what?
10:41Just wait until she pees,
10:42and then go put it in the toilet.
10:44Does that work?
10:45Yeah, you're being awfully rough with her.
10:47She's loving it.
10:48Princess, who do you like more?
10:50Go.
10:51Go.
10:52Go.
10:54See?
11:01Go take it, girls.
11:03Take the test.
11:04Take the test.
11:05Oh, she's going to take a test.
11:07She's going to take the test.
11:09Finally.
11:10Hey, there we go.
11:11Finally.
11:12It's not going to take you that long.
11:13Trust me.
11:14Dude, he's definitely stressed out.
11:15Look at him.
11:16I've never seen his hair so disheveled.
11:18When you take the penis,
11:19it's just like putting the pee-pee
11:21and waiting like...
11:25And then it just comes up as...
11:28It's super fast.
11:30It comes like two.
11:31He comes two.
11:31That's the sign Luke going to get.
11:33Luke going to get this.
11:35Two red.
11:38I need to know what is going on.
11:41Well, let's find out.
11:42All right?
11:43Let's find out.
11:43Madeline.
11:44I'm thinking he's the father.
11:46Yeah.
11:47That's all.
11:47Yo.
11:48It's all.
11:48Dude, 100%.
11:49I think he's scared of s***.
11:50What would you do if I was waiting for your pregnancy to tell him like this?
11:54Baby number two, yeah.
11:56I bet you will be like that.
11:58Especially if another girl.
12:01Oh, my gosh.
12:02Yeah.
12:02Three girls in my house.
12:03Imagine now.
12:04Mylo's already taken up your shopping habits.
12:06This is not good.
12:07I know.
12:08What does meatball night mean?
12:10Are you going to actually go to a restaurant and eat meatballs?
12:12Or are you going to like...
12:13It's just like a girly fun night.
12:16I call it the freedom tour.
12:18You know what I'm saying?
12:18The freedom tour.
12:18Yeah.
12:19When the guys go out, it's a freedom tour.
12:21You know?
12:21Bros with no hoes.
12:23Oh, what do we got here?
12:26Because you've been such good boys.
12:28Oh, have we?
12:28Oh, my God.
12:30Oh, what is this?
12:31Chicken pop?
12:31This is chicken cut with spaghetti.
12:34Oh, my goodness.
12:35Cheers, man.
12:36Cheers.
12:37Oh, look at that.
12:40Oh, my God.
12:41Oh, you're the best, man.
12:50Thank you, ma.
12:51This is why I can't lose weight.
12:53I mean, Lucille, you want to come sit down and watch some TV with us?
12:56Yeah, I don't want to intrude.
12:58Well, I mean...
12:58I see you have fun together.
13:01You two lock it in nicely.
13:02Oh, look.
13:03She's hungry.
13:05She's hungry.
13:06I know.
13:06She's over here like...
13:07Hey, did you get the...
13:08Is that chicken fresh?
13:13We're back down under.
13:15We've got to be back down.
13:16Oh, no.
13:16I've seen that Pirates of the Caribbean vote.
13:19Johnny and Kobe, baby.
13:20The last time that we saw them, they were talking to that lawyer about her getting a
13:24work permit to work in the country and that they might have to get married.
13:27I don't know if they're ready for marriage.
13:29I don't know.
13:30Look at Princess.
13:32Hey, hey, she doesn't like that.
13:33Do we miss the sunset or is it just cloudy?
13:37It's a bit cloudy today.
13:39Anyway, me and Maria are going to have meatball night tomorrow.
13:43Oh, they're having meatball night, huh?
13:44How do you like that?
13:45How do you think the meatball night's in Aruba?
13:47In Aruba, yeah.
13:47Meatballs in Aruba?
13:48What is it made out of?
13:50That's what I want to know.
13:51What does meatball night mean?
13:53Are you going to actually go to a restaurant and eat meatballs?
13:55Or are you going to like...
13:56It's just like a girly fun night.
13:59Like, it's just where we can just act stupid and be meatballs.
14:02I never heard of that term in my life.
14:04That means to be some asshole talk because I never heard of that ever.
14:09Meatballs.
14:10That's probably one of the dumbest things I've heard for a girls' night.
14:13What would you call a boys' night out?
14:15I don't know.
14:15You would not call nothing because you have no friends to go out.
14:18I'm just such a good husband.
14:20Good, loving husband and father.
14:22I call it the freedom tour.
14:24You know what I'm saying?
14:25Yeah, when the guys go out, it's the freedom tour, you know?
14:28Bros with no hose.
14:30Ah, bros with no hose.
14:31No hose.
14:32I like it.
14:33Yeah, you like that?
14:34Teaching people every day.
14:35Bros with no hose.
14:37Maria, I met a few years back.
14:39We had the same friends.
14:40You know, we'd hang out sometimes.
14:43When I introduced Chloe, they clicked automatically.
14:45It was like the next day, Chloe was telling me,
14:47I'm going to hang out with Maria every day now.
14:49But they're friends.
14:50She's got to have friends there, you know?
14:52I don't like Maria.
14:53I think Maria's bad for their relationship.
14:55I've dated girls who have friends who suck.
14:58Yes, you have.
14:59They suck.
15:01Yeah.
15:02So I feel his pain.
15:03We hang out together.
15:04We don't have separate friends.
15:05Yeah.
15:06Anytime I go out with Darcy and Georgie, too, sometimes I end up...
15:08Oh, that's the only thing which bothers me, Georgie,
15:11because Georgie's got trouble.
15:13He pissing me off.
15:14He's like, he's going to go to meatball night.
15:17Now that, you know, you're living here on the island and stuff,
15:21this is a good opportunity for you to show me that you're mature
15:25and ready to really take a serious step.
15:29I think Chloe's a party animal.
15:30She's young.
15:31She's young.
15:33And she's young.
15:35They really need to give each other some trust.
15:39They have no trust.
15:40No, they don't have any trust.
15:41You got to give her a little bit of, like, space to, like, let her do her...
15:45Oh, my gosh, dude.
15:48He never really comes up to you like that.
15:49He feel what I'm saying right now.
15:51You are the cat whisperer for sure.
15:53For sure.
15:54It's just, um, I'm used to you when you're going out going heavy.
15:58You know what I mean?
15:59Right, and I think that's more vacation mode.
16:01Okay, so just, I want to see how this mode's going to be, okay?
16:05So this is the opportunity to show me, like, what kind of mode you're in.
16:07Chloe look like she's a champ, she's in her prime, and she's going to smash some bottles
16:12tonight with no problem.
16:14I don't think this is going to tell him whether or not she's wife material.
16:18Anybody can play a good game for one night, come home early, make it, you know, she can
16:22pretend she's going to be a good wife, but you never know until it happens.
16:25Well, I mean, the only way to test it, really, is go to a club, get her smashed, put her on
16:30the dance floor.
16:30Yeah.
16:31And see if she starts grinding with all these guys.
16:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:34Yeah, just watch from a distance, grab your binoculars, right?
16:37Because you, you're...
16:38Yeah, you got your...
16:39You're in your eyeglass.
16:39And you sit here and you're drinking your drink and you're washing and you're sitting
16:43in the back there with your eyeglass.
16:45Jonathan doesn't like that I like to go out and have drinks, but I feel like this is more
16:50of a test if I'm actually wife material or not.
16:53Well, isn't that what everybody does in a relationship?
16:55Everybody tests their partner.
16:57No, I'm not a teacher.
17:00If I was giving you a wife test, what would be on it?
17:03Hmm.
17:03Well, food on the menu, let's check.
17:06That's great.
17:07Taking care of the family, the kids, the house, let's check.
17:10You pass.
17:11Cleaning the house and yelling at husband, no check.
17:14You want to the house, daddy?
17:16Big?
17:17But why you gotta yell at me, though?
17:18You don't do nothing.
17:19So what?
17:20I'm supposed to be spoiled.
17:22I don't want to spoil you.
17:23You're no rich, man.
17:24Now that we're talking about it more and more, I can't really tell if Jonathan wants this
17:30or not, I feel like he's throwing up all these little roadblocks and high obstacles that
17:35I can't jump over to stall the process.
17:40What is that?
17:41I don't know, but I know Chloe's gonna have some drinks tonight and get wasted.
17:46I think she's gonna get a little crazy.
17:48I think she's gonna be fine.
17:4923 in Aruba?
17:51Shoot.
17:53Princess is not being a princess right now.
17:56That is not how princesses sit.
17:58Princess, calm down.
17:59You need to keep it away.
18:02Yeah.
18:02Close your legs, ma'am.
18:03Close your legs.
18:04Okay.
18:05This looks like England, huh?
18:10I mean, it looks like England to me.
18:12It looks like England.
18:12All right, look at that little horse in the pasture.
18:14Little horse in the pasture.
18:15Got some hay.
18:16Yeah, I got some hay.
18:17I need some of that hay for my chickens.
18:19Oh, my God.
18:22They're every day worse.
18:23Damn, get closer.
18:25They worse and worse.
18:28Matthew's dad has texted me and wants to talk with me.
18:33I feel really nervous about it because I don't know how he feels about the breakup.
18:39After four days, she ended the engagement.
18:42That's so crazy to me.
18:42No space, mom.
18:43And they've been together for so long.
18:4596 hours?
18:46Yeah, that's crazy.
18:47It's funny you just used your number, your fingers together.
18:50Yeah, 24, 48, 72, 96.
18:53It's better than I could do.
18:55I don't think I could be with a person who's obsessed with cats.
18:58It's a different breed in the world.
19:00Oh, 100%.
19:01Yeah, I don't know what it is.
19:02But any time I get non-arguments with women and I find out that, I'm like, okay, cat lady.
19:07Yeah, yeah.
19:07And like, what do you mean?
19:08I do have cats.
19:09I know.
19:09And I was like, how did I know?
19:11How did I know?
19:11How did I know?
19:12Yeah.
19:19Uh-oh, damn.
19:20He's going to meet the daddy.
19:22And of course, it's raining and it's all sad vibes out there.
19:26I feel like I'm watching one of them Hallmark movies.
19:28I definitely think that it's weird to go and talk to his dad.
19:32Like, that's kind of weird.
19:33Could you imagine that we got divorced and you were going to go talk to my stepdad about
19:38our relationship?
19:39No, no.
19:39That would be weird.
19:39That would not be weird because, like, we are married and your stepdad is like a grandpa
19:45to Mila.
19:46That would not be weird.
19:47Because obviously a lot's happened.
19:49And I just want to try and find out what, where you are.
19:54Because I can't understand what's happened and I'm struggling to put it together.
20:00Well, what's the reason?
20:01The real, real reason?
20:03Are you afraid of commitment?
20:05Are you afraid to be in a relationship?
20:07I would so do this for you.
20:09Uh-uh.
20:10The only way is you would have to have, like, a little earpiece and you'd be able to hear
20:16me and I could hear her and tell you what to say.
20:18Because sometimes you're good, but then sometimes you just keep going.
20:22You don't know when to stop.
20:23I know.
20:23I know.
20:23It's because I start talking.
20:24It's just like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
20:25I could be like, clear the scene.
20:27Clear the scene.
20:28No.
20:29Leave.
20:29Matthews isn't, I've never seen him like it, Greta.
20:34And I'm, I'm worried about him because he loves you.
20:38I know.
20:39Especially, it's such a short time, to be honest.
20:41It's just a few days.
20:42Like, it's just crazy.
20:43At least he's not, like, screaming at her, like, ripping her apart.
20:45Like, you, you know what I mean?
20:47Like, if it was my son, I'd be like, listen here, bitch.
20:50Like, what are you thinking?
20:51You're going to, my son hasn't eaten anything for, like, a week.
20:54I know, I bring you in my home and this is what you do to our family?
20:57I know it seems, like, sudden, and I know this just sounds, like, crazy.
21:02But I just know it in my instinct, like, that, that, like, he's not my person.
21:08Ooh.
21:11He's not the man of your life.
21:14How he's not your person all of a sudden?
21:16You have somebody else in your closet?
21:18Maybe it took her coming there four days to realize that.
21:21And there's nothing wrong.
21:21I mean, listen, that's how things happen in life, man.
21:24F*** it.
21:24You did just kind of, like, gaslight his whole family and love-bombed a man who didn't deserve it.
21:30I kind of like to see a woman love-bombing men, because men do it so much.
21:33Wow.
21:34Just saying, I got love-bombed so bad, it's nice to see it.
21:37Wow, you're still in your revenge mode, aren't you?
21:39Matthew's always loved you, and he always probably will for a long time, still to come.
21:46Just wish it had a different ending.
21:47Yeah.
21:50That is so sad, really.
21:54But you know what?
21:55Every man's have a woman who broke his heart.
21:58Did you ever have a woman who broke your heart?
22:00Yeah.
22:01Sitting on the side of me right now.
22:03But, like, okay.
22:07I do want to be happy with him.
22:09How long has it been?
22:11Not even a year or a year?
22:12It's been a year almost now.
22:14We have love goggles on.
22:15Honestly, I think love goggles are probably a lot worse situation than beer goggles.
22:20Yeah, yeah.
22:21I mean, we've all been there.
22:22Trust me.
22:23We've all been there.
22:23Then woke up in the morning and was like, what the f***?
22:26Ooh, I'm here.
22:29Ooh, what's this?
22:30We're going to make garlic for the Christmas tree.
22:33Garlic?
22:34Wow.
22:35Why you eat it?
22:36Don't eat it yet.
22:37Mmm.
22:38Mmm.
22:39Mmm.
22:40Mmm.
22:42Mmm.
22:42So we have to make it for the tree.
22:44Mm-mm.
22:49What a big.
22:50I was in the toilet without...
22:52I didn't wash my hands.
22:54And are we raising right now?
22:56We always raise.
22:57I make your mouth faster than you.
23:00Excuse me.
23:01Big.
23:02Tastes like popcorn and cranberry.
23:05This is the very addition to my tree.
23:08Mine look beautiful.
23:09You look what?
23:09Just here, you can wear it and eat it at the same time.
23:12Yeah, that's nice.
23:14This is our garlic.
23:15I'm going to put it in the tree.
23:16Wow, you know what that gives me?
23:18That don't give me Christmas vibes.
23:19It gives me, like, vacation vibes of Hawaii.
23:21They do look nice.
23:22Look pretty.
23:23Yeah.
23:24That looks snackalicious.
23:26Yeah.
23:26Yeah.
23:32Yeah.
23:34Where we at?
23:35Fish.
23:35Oh, we got to be Aruba.
23:36Is that a kangaroo?
23:37It's got to be Aruba.
23:38Chloe and Johnny.
23:40We better be good to Chloe.
23:42Oh, yeah.
23:42Chloe's having her meatball night.
23:44Ooh, Chloe's about to be a dirty little girl.
23:47My best friend, Maria, is finally back in town, and we're going to get dinner with our other
23:51friend, Kamilah, and I'm so excited to just have some girl time.
23:55You know why the girls do girls' nights?
23:57What?
23:58So we can gossip about the guys.
24:00Oh, yeah.
24:00And the guys can not hear.
24:02Sure.
24:02That's a good excuse.
24:03Yeah.
24:04I'm talking to this one girl right now, Mom, and it's so funny, the tea that they all talk
24:10about.
24:10Oh, it's crazy.
24:11And she tells it all to me, and I'm like, no way.
24:15Did you guys get wine?
24:16Did you order anything?
24:17I'm not sure.
24:18I already started with tequila.
24:19Yeah.
24:19Tequila, wow.
24:20Ooh, that's how you get going.
24:22Let's get this party started.
24:23That's just a stat, though, right?
24:24That's just a stat.
24:25Can you say start?
24:26Start time.
24:28Hey, tequila, a great way to start the night.
24:30Or not.
24:31No, or yes.
24:33If I want to have a chill night, I definitely will not go with tequila, because even one
24:37shot is already on the top.
24:38Oh, yeah.
24:39Definitely.
24:39I agree.
24:41My mom said, I'm not going to keep financing your...
24:44journey.
24:45She was like, I'm not.
24:46It's like, if my mom's not going to help me out, we can't keep going to dinner every
24:51single night like we were when I was here.
24:54Oh, so you don't have no more of that central bank?
24:58That bank didn't close.
25:00You better learn how to make a sandwich.
25:01You better learn how to make a sandwich, girl.
25:04No couple goes out every single night to eat.
25:07No.
25:07She was on vacation mode the whole time.
25:09Yeah.
25:09I go out to eat here a lot, and I shouldn't.
25:12No, it's expensive.
25:13Yes.
25:14I do want to be happy with him.
25:16I want us to work.
25:18How long has it been?
25:19Not even a year or a year?
25:21It's been a year almost now.
25:23You have love goggles on.
25:24Love goggles.
25:26I had those on for three years.
25:28I think you had love blinders on.
25:29Yeah.
25:30You couldn't see anything else.
25:31I was like this.
25:32What?
25:32Yeah.
25:32I think, honestly, I think love goggles are probably a lot worse situation than beer goggles.
25:38You know, because beer goggles could happen for a night.
25:41Yeah, that's it.
25:41A night, you know what I'm saying?
25:42Love goggles could affect you for your life.
25:44A five looks like a ten, you know what I'm saying?
25:45Yeah, I mean, we've all been there.
25:47Trust me.
25:48We've all been there.
25:49Then woke up in the morning and was like, what the hell?
25:51So, we went to our first appointment with an immigration lawyer.
25:56The easiest way for me to be legal is to get married.
26:01I know what she's saying right now.
26:03She's like, girl, bye.
26:04No, she's like, bitch, please.
26:07Hey, bitch, nah-ah, not today.
26:09They don't trust each other, first of all.
26:11But the fact that they both think that, like, life is going to be good without her family's support and she's going to get a normal job there, it's just, like, it's delusional.
26:18I remember that day that we were at Clubhouse and he said he was at work all day and his co-workers were like, Jonathan didn't work today.
26:27It wasn't his location at Jolly Pirates because Kaner has his phone.
26:35I was choked.
26:37What?
26:37He was working while he was doing this.
26:40He was playing a pirate, but he was discovering somebody else's treasure box.
26:44I think we're moving in a better direction.
26:47Like, I think we've had growth, but no.
26:51Like, our...
26:52So he has been cheating?
26:54Lately, no.
26:55Oh, lately?
26:56Lately, no.
26:57What the?
26:59That's crazy, dude.
27:01I'm out.
27:02I'm sorry, man.
27:03Gregory's like this.
27:04That's it.
27:05I'm out.
27:05I'm out.
27:06I'm done, man.
27:07In the year that they've been together, I think Johnny has cheated on her.
27:11Probably every week.
27:13You kidding me, girl?
27:15Every week?
27:16Damn, he's slinging penis like a caveman.
27:18Oh, oh, oh.
27:20Damn, every week?
27:24A different woman every week?
27:26I don't know.
27:26That's 52, 53 women a year.
27:28How many women did you have a year?
27:31Zero.
27:32You were my first.
27:33I believe you, actually.
27:34If something were to happen, I would pack my so fast.
27:41Just prepare yourself.
27:42That's all I'm taking.
27:45Don't unpack because it's happening soon.
27:48Looking at Johnny, I'd never suspect that he'd lie, you know?
27:52Johnny seems like an honest kind of guy, you know?
27:56Honest kind of guy.
27:57What do you think, Daisy?
27:58Daisy's like, that's a pet me.
27:59I don't trust Johnny.
28:00I don't trust Johnny at all.
28:02Yeah, see?
28:02Yeah.
28:03I just think I want to go back to the States for like six months and dance that debt off.
28:12Girl, dance that debt off.
28:14I love that.
28:15I love that.
28:16Ooh, ooh.
28:17Shake that ass to Uncle Sam, baby.
28:19Yeah, there you go.
28:20She trying to shake out those coins.
28:22You're like, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.
28:25So, brother, Christmas three days away.
28:28Figured I'd make you some gingerbread cookies, man.
28:30Let's get to decorating these bad cookies.
28:31I mean, I'm excited.
28:33I'm excited.
28:33Tis the season.
28:34Tis the season, man.
28:35All right, let's get a little...
28:36Let's go.
28:36Choose your poison, man.
28:38All right, all right, all right.
28:39Oh, okay.
28:41I see what you're doing.
28:42I see what you're doing.
28:43I'm not going to follow your lead on this one.
28:46We got a little blue ball action for Matthew right here for a little buddy.
28:50There's going to be blue balls this holiday.
28:52Matthew's going to have some blue balls this holiday.
28:53Blue balls.
28:54A little nipple.
28:55Oh, yeah, yeah.
28:55Get a little nipple.
28:56A little green.
28:57Oh, a little nipple there.
28:59A little nipple here.
29:00You know what I'm saying?
29:02Got red eyes from crying.
29:03Yo, red eyes.
29:04He's been crying a lot lately.
29:06Poor guy.
29:07Little red eyed over there.
29:08He got little things here, man.
29:09Come on.
29:10You got to give him a little joy in his life, too.
29:11Oh, I'm going to give him a little joy.
29:13Here we go.
29:13We're going to put a Christmas tree right here.
29:15Where the sun shines, you know, on a bright day.
29:19A green strombol, huh?
29:21Well, actually, it's a Christmas tree.
29:22It's a Christmas tree strombol.
29:24There we go.
29:24God bless you, man.
29:26To be jolly.
29:27Fa-la-la-la-la-la.
29:33Oh, the gentleman's parlor.
29:37Oh, Lord.
29:38That was a big booty.
29:40Don't watch.
29:41This is for men.
29:43Whoa.
29:43Okay.
29:44Is this date night for them?
29:45Wow.
29:45They're having flashbacks.
29:48Jovi, you're in your favorite place.
29:51Is Patio working again and needed some money?
29:53I've been here a couple of weeks, and I've been complaining about how there's nothing to
29:57do here, but tonight Dylan's taking me to a strip club.
30:01Back to your roots, girl.
30:02Back to your roots.
30:02Who doesn't love watching girls shake ass with their mom?
30:06Oh.
30:07I can't even look at you.
30:08I know.
30:09Pillow fort.
30:10I know this for a fact, that I'm not even allowed to drive past a strip club without any
30:15problems, so let alone, I can never set foot in one, that's for sure, and she would not
30:19be there with me.
30:20And if she was, I couldn't be looking at anything, that's for sure.
30:23It would be uncomfortable.
30:24Some of the best strip clubs I've been to in my life have been in Australia, to be honest.
30:28Damn, Jovi, you really have a big knowledge about strip clubs around the globe, huh?
30:32That was before our time.
30:37You think you can do that?
30:38Definitely not.
30:40I mean, that's just, you know, talent right there.
30:43You know how difficult that is?
30:45Absolutely, baby.
30:46It's hard.
30:46You gotta respect it.
30:51It ain't nothing.
30:52You gotta get on the pole.
30:54You gotta get on the pole.
30:55Imagine you're at the pole.
31:02This is VIP.
31:04You're loving this, aren't you?
31:06I did it.
31:07You're in your element.
31:08This is the happiest stuff I've seen you since we got here.
31:10Shut up.
31:11Seriously.
31:12Dylan, you tell her, Dylan.
31:14Smile from ear to ear.
31:15I like it, though.
31:16I like that she's happy.
31:18This is her life.
31:18I think it's kind of a red flag, personally.
31:21So won't you get up there and show them youngsters what to do?
31:24Come on, Patia.
31:25Come on, Cougar.
31:26I want to see if she's still got it.
31:27She'll probably go.
31:30Be like, my hip?
31:32My hip?
31:33It's gonna be hard for me not making this kind of money.
31:37I just think I want to go back to the States, home for, like, six months, and dance that debt off.
31:46What?
31:47She wants to go back?
31:50Girl, dance that debt off.
31:52I love that.
31:53I love that.
31:54Oh, oh.
31:55Shake that ass to Uncle Sam, baby.
31:57Yeah, there you go.
31:58She trying to shake out those coins.
32:00She's going like, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling, bling.
32:04If she goes back to the United States to strip for six months to pay off the debt, she might as well just stay there.
32:08I mean, whether she strips, exactly, that's what I'm saying.
32:10If she strips in Las Vegas or strips here, it's the same thing.
32:13Well, maybe more money.
32:14He's just not seen it.
32:14Maybe more money in Vegas, though.
32:16I don't like the thought of Patia going back to dancing.
32:19Kind of feels like an excuse just to leave Tasmania.
32:22Oh.
32:24Why don't you go be a waitress?
32:26She could be a waitress or a bartender at the strip club and just not be naked.
32:30Why does it have to be a strip club?
32:32I mean, that's what she's used to.
32:34This is some typical stripper s***, honestly.
32:38Sorry, babe.
32:39I came here because I'm in love with you, but I'm going to go back to the U.S.
32:42because I need to strip some more to make some money.
32:44That's some strip s***.
32:45I am like, the more time I spend in this bed with you, the more impressed about your knowledge about the strippers.
32:51Hey, you know what you know and you don't what you don't.
32:54I just want to know that you're going to stick by me no matter what.
33:00She's going to stick by you, Dylan.
33:05She loves you.
33:06She's just testing you, trying to test the waters.
33:09That's all she's doing.
33:10It's a little mind game.
33:11She wants to go be a stripper and make that fast money.
33:14Maybe get a job at that strip club.
33:16She's so, like, bent on that.
33:18They look like they were making some good change there.
33:20Well, she has some stiff composition there.
33:22You saw that one girl.
33:23She was beautiful.
33:24That was hourglass, baby.
33:26So here we have a gingerbread cookie.
33:28I gave him Anthony's mustache.
33:30Anthony's mustache.
33:31Nice.
33:31I gave him Johnny's tattoos.
33:33I would assume Madeline has, like, crazy earrings.
33:35You know what I'm saying?
33:36So I just gave him some earrings.
33:37You know what?
33:38We're not artists.
33:40No.
33:40But I got to say, we did pretty good.
33:41We did pretty damn good, man.
33:43I say mine is better.
33:44I mean, you would say that.
33:45I got to say, it's a little goofy looking.
33:48I think mine would be more sophisticated.
33:50Yours is for a child, for sure.
33:53Scared this.
33:55I mean, we're struggling to cross the finish line on us getting married, let alone starting
34:00a family together.
34:01Mom, this is, like, one of the scariest times.
34:04You've told me about a couple of them.
34:06Okay, Mom.
34:07It was not a couple.
34:08We're not going to put a number on how many it was.
34:10Hello?
34:11I got a special Christmas gift for you.
34:13Pick the arm.
34:14Pick the arm?
34:15Yes.
34:16That one.
34:17Oh, no, but this one.
34:19But it's still a special Christmas gift for you, Jovi.
34:22Look on this, Jovi John.
34:25Is she going to wear those?
34:26Maybe, if you're going to be nice.
34:28All right, put them on.
34:29Now?
34:30Yeah.
34:31Okay.
34:42What do you think?
34:43It's not quite what I meant, but okay.
34:45What do you think?
34:46Do you like it?
34:48No.
34:49No?
34:50Not your style?
34:51No.
34:52I think they look big for me, maybe.
34:57Let's see.
34:58Let's see what's going to happen.
35:02Full moon, baby.
35:04Full moon, yeah.
35:05Don't sweat bullets now.
35:06Now you're about to be a puppet.
35:08Look at Marilee.
35:11I'm nerding my life.
35:13Take a dex for off pregnant.
35:17Well, just take it already.
35:18Go drink some water and pee.
35:20It's not funny.
35:20First time you took a pregnancy test, I remember we're like, when's the results going to come
35:23out?
35:24Is it immediately?
35:25Does it take a minute?
35:25Like, it's just confusing.
35:27One time we showed one line and the other one was there.
35:29Yeah, it was very, very dull.
35:31Yeah, but it was there.
35:32I take two pregnancy tests because sometimes I take the cheaper one after I buy the more
35:38expensive one for if it's true, true, true, true.
35:42Scared less.
35:43I mean, we're struggling to cross the finish line on us getting married, let alone starting
35:49a family together.
35:50Is this it?
35:51Is this it?
35:51Dude, he looks strung out, bro.
35:54He's gone through the ringer.
35:55Mom, this is like one of the scariest times.
35:58You've told me about a couple of them.
36:00Okay, Mom, it was not a couple.
36:02We're not going to put a number on how many it was.
36:04Hello?
36:06What does this mean?
36:07This is one line.
36:08What does one line mean?
36:10She has COVID?
36:12It's negative.
36:13No, it's a different one.
36:15This is negative.
36:16It's just one.
36:20Negative.
36:20This is negative?
36:22Negative.
36:22Oh, she's not pregnant!
36:24He wants to smile and jump and jump on that bed so badly.
36:29I call bull .
36:30Take another test.
36:32I just want you to be happy.
36:36And I'd like for us to be happy together.
36:41Maybe she'll get pregnant tonight.
36:45Next episode, they are pregnant.
36:47Yeah, exactly right, yo.
36:49Next time on 90 Day Fiancé, The Other Way.
36:52This is Madeleine.
36:53I like my dad.
36:54The father of rationality is there.
36:57Yeah, I like him, though.
36:58Yo, she looks just like his father.
37:00The only thing is, she don't have the goatee.
37:02You haven't really changed doing what you do.
37:05You're going to do anything.
37:06Oh, what's Maria starting up over here?
37:08Johnny out there slinging penis on the pirate ship.
37:11You didn't physically do anything.
37:13Exactly.
37:14You should not have messaged another girl.
37:16I didn't know she didn't know that.
37:17I'm not getting into this.
37:20You started it.
37:21You're the one that started it.
37:22You started it, Becky, Karen.
37:24Oh, my goodness, Johnny.
37:26What are you doing now?
37:27Wait, wait, he says I didn't message another girl.
37:29We got to see what happens.
37:30We're just speculating right now.
37:32Exactly, we're speculators.
37:34I just feel like it's one thing after another.
37:37And your mom is complaining about how I do things.
37:40I can't live like this.
37:41But Jenny's so stubborn.
37:43She is.
37:44Honestly.
37:45She needs to sell those handbags.
37:46I bet she'd be really good at that.
37:48There's a lot of them.
37:49Organize the handbags.
37:50Someone needs to put her in her place.
37:52Yo, is she going to fight?
37:57Oh, my God.
37:58What happened with your mama?
37:59Sometimes you just got to put your mom in place.
38:02Who's going to put their mother in place?
38:03Sometimes you need to do that.
38:05You think you can put me in my place?
38:07Hey.
38:07Okay.
38:08Hope you had a good time here this week.
38:10You know, we really enjoyed you.
38:11Mom, Joan, everyone loved the chickens.
38:13They're going to miss you.
38:14Everybody's got to mess.
38:15Keeping them real warm at night.
38:16They'll never be the same.
38:18That's what I know.
38:19You know what I'm saying?
38:20But, man, come here.
38:21Come here.
38:21Get out of here.
38:22All right, y'all.
38:22Let me help you out.
38:23Come here, buddy.
38:24All right.
38:25All right.
38:26All right.
38:27All right.
38:27All right.
38:27Yeah.
38:28Andy, there's some dishes in the kitchen tonight, you know?
38:32So I don't want to do it.
38:34You have to do it.
38:35Rock, paper, scissors.
38:36Let's go.
38:36Okay.
38:37Rock, paper, scissors.
38:38Shoot.
38:39You lose.
38:39Go wet those dishes.
38:41That's the road.
38:41Paper beat rock.
38:42No, rock.
38:43Paper beats rock.
38:45Go wash those dishes and leave me alone.
38:48Let's go change.
38:48I'm sticking with the sweater.
38:50It's too hot over here.
38:50Maybe you can go take a shower and put on that thong you had earlier.
38:53Maybe you go and take that sweater to the trash.
38:56It's so ugly.
38:57Leave my sweater alone.
38:58Pull that to the trash.
38:59It's ugly.
39:00I don't know why you knew why.
39:00So many women would love this sweater.
39:02It's so cool.
39:02Yeah, sure.
39:04I am feeling in the Christmas spirit.
39:06We only got a couple days left.
39:07Let's do the dishes together, and we'll sing Christmas songs.
39:10Come on.
39:11I guess I'll do the dishes for the hoes.
39:14Okay, ready?
39:15Step the hoes with boughs of holly.
39:20I forgot the words.
Be the first to comment
Add your comment

Recommended