- 1 week ago
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00:01The following programme contains strong language and adult humour.
00:10Rob and I are back.
00:12It looks a bit like you're my guide.
00:15Throwing ourselves into the biggest challenges.
00:18Check, check, check.
00:20With the help of the world's best.
00:22I used to do it at the office.
00:25Together we're going on a journey of discovery.
00:28No, no, no.
00:30To find out what we like.
00:32Oh wow, Rob, that's amazing.
00:34And what we don't.
00:35It just feels like it's all going to come out.
00:38This week, we're entering one of the world's most prestigious competitions.
00:42I like this one.
00:43Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
00:45Just give me an immediate reaction.
00:46Unwrap a burrito.
00:47We'll be venturing into the depths of the jungle.
00:50This looks like the shittest Indiana Jones reboot of all time.
00:53To find out if we can snap an exhibition-worthy photo.
00:56Say hello to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
01:05We'd arrived at the Natural History Museum for the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition.
01:10It's their annual competition.
01:12Showcasing the best nature photography on the planet.
01:15And the winning images are seen by millions around the world.
01:18It's the long-necked turtle.
01:19What a waste of a neck in there.
01:21If I'm having a photo of a long-necked turtle, I want to see the neck out on display.
01:25I really think if you weren't a comedian, you could work at this museum.
01:28Yeah?
01:29Taking Rob Beckett around a wildlife photography exhibition is like taking one of your small children that's recently had some sort of head injury.
01:37Rob, look at this.
01:38Oh, that's a cute little feather, isn't it?
01:40What's that little Disney film about the mouse?
01:43I want to live in America.
01:44I want to live in America.
01:46Um...
01:47Reminds me of that little mouse.
01:48Fievel, you're talking about?
01:49I don't know.
01:50Well, first of all, you were singing a song from West Side Story.
01:54Okay.
01:55Is that no mouse in that?
01:58Thankfully, we weren't just here for Rob's take on the photos.
02:03We were here because of the Natural Artistry winner, Rachel Bigsby.
02:08She challenged us to try our hand at wildlife photography.
02:11Hi, I'm Rachel.
02:12And we were meeting competition judge Roz Kidman-Cox to chat about Rachel's winning photo.
02:18You can see immediately that it's got drama.
02:21She's managed to choose that arrangement with those gannets getting the black behind the white birds.
02:28With over ten years behind the lens and shots that look more like paintings and photos, Rachel was the ideal person to get us started.
02:35Now, the key to successful wildlife photography is equipping yourself with the tools and the knowledge.
02:41If you go in blind, you can have really, really good luck.
02:44Why are you looking at me when she said that? I'm not blind.
02:47Right, sorry, carry on Rachel.
02:50I didn't say you were.
02:52No, but you looked across at me and then you completely unbroken eye contact.
02:56And I could see because I'm not blind.
02:58Luckily, it was this eye.
02:59Right, sorry, carry on.
03:00It's okay.
03:01To give yourself the best possible chance, you need to go in thinking of what kind of shot you'd like.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Tell me if I'm wrong.
03:07Would it be better to use a long lens zoom or just get nearer?
03:10Well, getting nearer isn't necessarily always going to work.
03:14Unless you've got incredible stealth and understanding, we don't really want to encourage you to get too close to wildlife.
03:19Right, so it's not frowned upon for lensing it up?
03:21No, absolutely lens it up.
03:23But you have got to have a bit of passion.
03:25Yeah.
03:26I'm sorry, but you're not coming across as being passionate about it.
03:29It's fair.
03:30Okay, you sound a lot like my wife, Roz.
03:32If you don't mind me saying.
03:34No.
03:35That is just my general energy.
03:36But he's coming across.
03:37I'm sorry.
03:38Yeah, I know.
03:39Roz, it's just in me.
03:40What can I say?
03:41Rachel had challenged us to see if we could cut it as wildlife photographers.
03:45And amazingly, Roz had agreed to put our best photos on display in one of the world's most prestigious exhibitions.
03:52They even reserved us a spot at the Natural History Museum.
03:56The big question, could we actually take a photo good enough to stand alongside the professionals?
04:02What do you think our chances are genuinely?
04:05Well, it's not a good start, is it?
04:09How many entrants were there?
04:11Yes.
04:1250,000.
04:13One in 50,000?
04:14Mm.
04:15Do you know why?
04:16I don't mind them odds.
04:18Let's be clear.
04:19Rob and I have never done wildlife photography before.
04:22And now we're entering the world's leading competition.
04:25The standard was insanely high.
04:27So we needed all the inspiration we could get.
04:30Okay, what we're going to do, we're going to play a little game, all right?
04:33Yeah.
04:34I just want you to look.
04:35Yeah.
04:36Just give me an immediate reaction.
04:37And go.
04:38Unwrap a burrito.
04:39Okay, good.
04:40I think I'm going to be good at this.
04:42Because really, the camera's doing most of the work.
04:45It's just sort of being there.
04:47Get me a camping chair.
04:48Couple of beers.
04:50Clickety-click-click.
04:51Bang.
04:52I'm up on the wall.
04:54Okay, what's happened here?
04:57What?
04:58Um...
04:59Looks like someone's just come back from Magic Mike after their hender.
05:02I was thinking, what is the worst thing that you could interpret this photo as being?
05:08You've beat it by quite a lot.
05:09Yeah, yeah.
05:10I deleted quite a few other options.
05:11Mm.
05:12Rob really does have a level of self-belief that massively outweighs his level of ability.
05:18Why wouldn't Rob, after spending ten minutes walking around an exhibition, think that he could win wildlife photographer of the year?
05:25It's classic Beckett.
05:27Our mission was set, but to give ourselves a fighting chance of taking a photo that might impress Roz, we needed to find somewhere that was full of wildlife.
05:35And that was going to take some proper thinking.
05:42A few months later, we had a decision to make.
05:45So, Ron, where are we going to go to take these photos?
05:48We need to make it easy.
05:49Yes, we do.
05:50You know when they show Simba to the animals in Lion King?
05:52Yes.
05:53That's where we need to go.
05:54Basically, I asked Rachel for some suggestions.
05:55Okay.
05:56And this is what she's come up with.
05:58Pembrokeshire, UK.
05:59Puffins.
06:00Nah.
06:01Okay.
06:02I'm not going out my way to take a photo of a puffin.
06:04Okay, here's something.
06:05Yeah.
06:06Africa.
06:07That feels a bit like Fiat 500 basic bitch, I've been on a safari.
06:11We need to go deeper.
06:12Well, I don't want to lead you too much, but this is 100% the one I think we should do.
06:17Go.
06:18The forest, rivers and caves are home to a huge variety of wildlife that provides no end of photographic opportunities,
06:25including orangutans, elephants, tigers and rhinos.
06:30In a forest?
06:31The only place on earth to have all of those creatures.
06:34Oh, come on.
06:35That's like the toys are us of animals.
06:38All under one roof.
06:39Rob Beckett.
06:40We...
06:41Yeah.
06:42...are going to Sumatra.
06:43Where the fuck is that?
06:45The decision was made.
06:47We were heading 6,000 miles east on a 21 hour journey to Sumatra, Indonesia's largest island,
06:53where we'd be starting our trip in the Gunung Lusa National Park.
06:57Sumatra is home to the Gunung Lusa ecosystem, one of the most diverse forests on the planet.
07:07It's the last place on earth where elephants, tigers, rhinos and orangutans all still live together.
07:15So we'd come to get our first proper taste of nature photography, and our adventure was already off to an unusual start.
07:22Hello.
07:23How are you?
07:24Oh, that's refreshing, though.
07:29Whoo!
07:32We were travelling by Gunung Lusa's jungle taxi.
07:35Inflatable rafts used to reach remote parts of the park.
07:39We were heading deep into the jungle, where we'd meet our guide.
07:42This is nice.
07:43This feels very magical.
07:45And I just feel like...
07:46This looks like the shittest Indiana Jones reboot of all time.
07:51So what would be the ideal photo for you? What's your dream photo?
07:54I think an orangutan. The gentleman in the jungle, wherever he's called.
07:57Do you know what I'd love to get? Orangutan riding a tiger.
08:01What's your plan going to be with photography? Are you going to just keep taking photos of everything or try and get the perfect shot?
08:07I approach photography the same way I approach having children. Spray and pray.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Yeah.
08:15Besides those people, look.
08:16Yeah, it's absolutely deserted here, by the way.
08:18Yeah, we're in the middle of nowhere, apart from...
08:20They're not like a fucking Universal.
08:21It's like Dimchurch.
08:22What's going on here?
08:25Where are we?
08:32It's a bit more me.
08:33Oh, my!
08:34This is fun!
08:35Yeah!
08:36Oh, my!
08:42The world's so real weird.
08:45Pull up, pull up, pull up!
08:47It's just good to be just totally alone and just soak in the nature.
08:50Yeah, it just... I just feel so removed from the rat race, you know?
08:56I didn't know there were rapids.
08:58Oh, okay.
09:00Does this be rough?
09:01Yeah.
09:02Yeah, okay.
09:03Yeah, okay.
09:04Immediate, yes.
09:05I'll just hold on, then.
09:06Shall we hold on to each other?
09:07No, no!
09:08Hold on.
09:09Oh, Rob.
09:10I think it's not relaxing.
09:11Oh, Rob, but it's actually...
09:12Jesus!
09:17Oh, my God!
09:18Right.
09:20Those rapids aren't relaxing.
09:22As long as it stays at that level, it'll be all right, I think.
09:24Ass up.
09:25Not seen one bit of wildlife.
09:31And just like that, Rob was up close with some wildlife.
09:34A massive spider.
09:36Oh, oh, oh!
09:37Fuck, there was a spider.
09:38What was that?
09:39What was that?
09:40There was a spider.
09:41What was that?
09:42Fuck off!
09:43Oh, get me out of here.
09:45He's here!
09:46I fucking can't...
09:51Fucking...
09:52Right.
09:57Get me to the chore.
09:58Now!
10:01A first encounter done.
10:02Now it was time to meet the man who'd help us find the rest.
10:05Dharma Pinem.
10:07Finally you come, Dharma.
10:08A conservationist and local legend.
10:10Nice to meet you.
10:11For over 30 years, he's helped protect the wildlife here
10:14and show visitors around the Gunung Leuser.
10:17We can find tigers, rhino, elephants.
10:22You may get some of the good shots of the beautiful orang-tans.
10:26Yeah.
10:27Yeah.
10:28Yeah.
10:29Yeah, yeah.
10:30So, let's go.
10:31Welcome to Gunung Leuser National Park.
10:34Dharma was taking us to meet multi-award winning photographer
10:37Ula Infansasti.
10:39Hello.
10:40Rob.
10:41Oh, hi, Rob.
10:42We're on Leuser.
10:43Having had images published in Nat Geo and Time magazine...
10:47Oh, wow!
10:49That's amazing.
10:50Today he had agreed to join us on a trek to give us some expert
10:53photography advice.
10:54So, all we needed now was for Dharma to find us some wildlife.
11:03That afternoon, we went on our first expedition to a conservation
11:06sanctuary in the National Park in search of something special.
11:12Oh, my God, there's elephants.
11:13Look at this.
11:14Wow.
11:15It's amazing.
11:16Your first wildlife.
11:17It was incredible just to be near them.
11:20But a full family of elephants, that was something else.
11:23Dharma has reached into his very deep shorts pockets,
11:26pulled out a couple of elephants.
11:27It's unbelievable.
11:29He's gone so big early tours.
11:31It's insane.
11:32Day two, he's probably going to be a unicorn.
11:36They're the largest animal roaming the island.
11:38And being sanctuary elephants, comfortable enough with people,
11:41if we couldn't get a photo here, we were in serious trouble.
11:45Ulet was on hand to help us get our heads around the kit.
11:48This is a zoom.
11:49Oh, okay.
11:50And then zoom out.
11:51And give us some tips on how to take a good photo.
11:54The important thing is be patient.
11:56Patient?
11:57Yeah.
11:58So you communicate with them.
11:59So you can talk to the animals?
12:00Yeah, just like in your heart.
12:02But Rob was taking talking to the elephants a bit too literally.
12:05Come here, Dumbo.
12:07Look at me, baby.
12:08Oh, there you go.
12:09Give me more of that.
12:10As the elephants made their way into the rainforest,
12:13we were given the all-clear to follow them
12:15for a chance to capture something unique.
12:17Well, I've got one photo that looks all right,
12:19but I don't know if it's a good one or if it's just weird.
12:21Oh, baby.
12:22Oh, it's baby.
12:23The daughter.
12:24Baby, milk.
12:25So you can see it actually having a bang on it.
12:26I've just found an elephant sucking on its mum's tit
12:29and I've took a photo.
12:30Is that allowed?
12:32Who knows?
12:33As we continued to follow the elephant,
12:35it became clear there was a problem staying on their tail.
12:40Yeah, I've got a lot of photos over there behind.
12:43Yeah.
12:44If there's an exhibition just on their genitals,
12:46I think I've got it covered.
12:48What I would say is,
12:49what Rob and I capture today
12:51is what I would call elephant-only fans.
12:53There's a lot of arse and genitals, not a lot of face,
12:56which is what people pay for.
12:57I've been told I haven't got an account.
12:59After following the elephants for half an hour,
13:01we barely had a decent picture between us.
13:04But as the herd headed for a cool-down,
13:06we had no excuse not to get an exhibition-worthy photo.
13:10Oolet said,
13:12I'll set it for you.
13:13It's going to be so easy.
13:15Oop.
13:16And then we took some photos of the elephants
13:17and looked at what Oolet was getting
13:19and what we were getting.
13:20Oh, wow!
13:21That was so much better than mine.
13:23My photo looked like somebody using a camera for the first time.
13:27His photo looked like the story of the elephant in one image.
13:31The truth is, Rob and I don't know how to take photos.
13:36Oh, shit, I've missed the good stuff.
13:39So we've come to the wildlife, but we can't capture it.
13:43Ooh!
13:44Is there a really strong argument
13:45that we should have practised with the camera equipment in the UK?
13:47Yeah, absolutely.
13:48I have shitter photos.
13:49Absolutely.
13:50Have we wasted a day in Indonesia?
13:52Certainly.
13:53It's just so massive and like...
13:54I mean, we're on day-wide.
13:55It's the biggest 180 from when we were at the actual museum.
13:58Yeah, and you know what? I was wrong. Hands up.
14:00It's a nightmare.
14:01I don't know how they do it, these wildlife photographers.
14:07Rob and I are trying to take a photo
14:09worthy of Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
14:12What do you think our chances are, do you even know?
14:15Well...
14:16That's not a good start, is it?
14:17No.
14:19With a space waiting for us
14:20on the wall of the Natural History Museum
14:22that would be seen by millions,
14:24the pressure was on.
14:29So we travelled to Sumatra
14:31to give ourselves a fighting chance.
14:34Oh, my God, there's elephants!
14:35But so far, all we got...
14:37Come here, Dumbo.
14:39..was an elephant's backside.
14:41I am shitter photos.
14:44Determined to do better,
14:45the next morning we headed downriver to meet Dharma
14:48in search of something a little more inspiring.
14:52When we were in London...
14:53Yeah.
14:54...looking round the exhibition...
14:55The exhibition.
14:56You were quite confident and cocky and sort of annoying.
15:00Oh, cow.
15:01How confident are you feeling now?
15:02Um, I feel like I'm going to be far too stressed
15:05about dying to focus on second photo.
15:08Yeah.
15:09If I emigrated and lived here...
15:10Yeah, I'd love it, first of all. Let me tell you that.
15:12I'd be dead in a week.
15:14I think that is so optimistic.
15:17But you think you'd last a week at it?
15:19On your own, without Dharma?
15:21It's so optimistic.
15:22I'd give you 90 minutes.
15:25Fortunately for me, then, we did have Dharma.
15:28Yes, Dharma.
15:29And after yesterday's elephant trek,
15:31Rom and I were looking forward to another day
15:33of breathtaking wildlife.
15:34Are you good?
15:35Good, good.
15:36She's still alive.
15:37Yeah.
15:38Still breathing.
15:39Yeah, still.
15:40So, all right.
15:41Today will be our first proper explorations to the Batcave.
15:48The Batcave?
15:49Yeah.
15:50It's a cave.
15:51Okay.
15:52And it smells bad.
15:53Smells bad?
15:54Yeah, because bad poo.
15:56Bad poo.
15:57No, bat poo.
15:58Bat poo.
15:59All right.
16:00Spiders?
16:01Could be not.
16:02Could be not.
16:03Because we are in the cave.
16:04Could be not?
16:05Could be not.
16:06Because anywhere, you are in the rainforest area,
16:08but there is some possibility.
16:10Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:12Hopefully, you can get good shot with your camera.
16:14Yeah.
16:15Let's go.
16:16And you need this, because the cape is usually dark.
16:18Usually?
16:19Usually dark.
16:20Yes, Dharma.
16:21Okay, let's go.
16:22Are you wearing that footlock?
16:23Yeah, I'm fine.
16:24I'm good with that.
16:25Okay, let's go.
16:26Let's go, Dharma.
16:31What an opportunity.
16:32The main issue is everything that's involved I hate.
16:36Oh, look at that.
16:37Fucking hell.
16:39So, cave, no thank you.
16:41Bats, no thank you.
16:42Spiders, go fuck yourself.
16:44We're not even in the bloody cave yet.
16:46Us going into that bat cave is like taking two virgins into an orgy.
16:50Neither of us have a clue what we're doing.
16:53There's going to be some screaming, a lot of, uh, what is that?
16:58Um, and then some, I don't think I want to do this anymore.
17:02Am I torch on?
17:05Uh, no.
17:06Oh, for fuck's sake.
17:07Come here.
17:08You'll need that.
17:09There you go.
17:10Oh, my God, it's a cave.
17:11That's the wrong one.
17:12You've got the red on.
17:13You look like the police.
17:15Oh, my God, it's a cave?
17:17Yeah.
17:18All right then, we move deeper to the cave.
17:20Deeper.
17:21The cave was formed of three large chambers that go deeper to the Gunung Lusa rainforest.
17:28Dharma was taking us to the bats, which, unfortunately for us, was in the third and final chamber, almost a kilometer deep underground.
17:36Oh, this is horrible.
17:39Dharma, don't take us too near anything that moves, yeah?
17:42Yeah.
17:43So, there's going to be lots of insects here?
17:45Uh, yeah.
17:46Oh, God.
17:47Look at that.
17:49Rob.
17:50Rob.
17:51Rob.
17:52Yeah, Rob, you go another look.
17:53Yeah, me.
17:54Why me?
17:55Go another look, Rob.
17:56Spider.
17:57I'll leave it out.
17:58Dharma.
17:59What kind of spider?
18:00What spider is it?
18:01A friendly one.
18:02Friendly one?
18:03How do you know?
18:04Where is it?
18:05Oh, my God, you big bastard.
18:06What is that?
18:07A spider.
18:08Yeah, I know, but what type?
18:09I think that's as far as it goes.
18:11Right, okay, that's all we've got.
18:12It's a spider.
18:13That's good.
18:14Never look.
18:15This one.
18:16Mm-hmm.
18:17Rob.
18:18Sorry.
18:19I didn't realize I was going to be up like that.
18:20Right, okay.
18:21Oh!
18:22Rob.
18:23Sorry.
18:24Rob, mate, you fuck off and get scared on your own.
18:25Sorry.
18:26Sorry, something just dripped on me.
18:27Water drip from the top.
18:28Okay.
18:29It's a water.
18:30Sorry, I'm looking at a spider and something lands on my shoulder.
18:32You can forgive me for shitting myself.
18:34Yeah, but just don't shit yourself near me.
18:37The spider was our first opportunity to snap some wildlife.
18:42But as we took out our cameras, that was when we realized that this time our photography skills weren't going to be the only problem.
18:50Oh my God.
18:51Why are we going in the dark to take a photo?
18:53We're struggling in the light.
18:55Okay, ready?
18:56Once you do see something, you can't take the photo with the light on because it gets blown out.
19:02This is what you do.
19:03You have your head torch, right?
19:04You press the button halfway focus and snap.
19:07Put the light on the thing, half focus and snap.
19:11What kind of photography requires you to look away as you take the fucking photo?
19:18It had been a terrifying start.
19:20And now Dharma was taking us deeper into the caves in search of bats.
19:24Oh, that's adorable.
19:26It's better not to look at the walls, isn't it?
19:28Because you won't see stuff.
19:30And as we headed further in, it was no longer just the fear of the wildlife that was worrying us.
19:35Fucking hell, Dharma.
19:37Are you winding me up?
19:39This is awful.
19:41For two middle-aged men, scrambling through tiny gaps and jagged rocks was becoming a much bigger problem.
19:47Oh, bloody hell, fuck.
19:51I've got a little, like, health tracker.
19:54It just told me I was playing five-a-side.
19:57It was tough going.
19:59Oh, my God.
20:01You all right?
20:02Yeah, I'm at Isha's card.
20:04And as we left the first chamber for the next...
20:06Right.
20:07It's sucking up and it's like climbing a mini mountain.
20:10Thankfully, Dharma was on hand to help us get through it.
20:14Calm.
20:15Yeah.
20:16Slow.
20:17Carefully.
20:18Be good.
20:19What's embarrassing is me and Romish have got all the gear on and Dharma's jumping about in a pair of flip-flops.
20:24But then I suppose he's used to it.
20:26He's grown up here, hasn't he?
20:28Stick him on a tube.
20:30Tell him to get from Waterloo to Finsbury Park.
20:33You know what I mean?
20:34We've all got our own habitat.
20:40But all our hard work was paying off.
20:42As after nearly an hour of dragging our sad bodies through Bapu-covered rocks,
20:48we were finally entering the bat chamber.
20:50Oh, my God.
20:51Look at that.
20:52Look at that.
21:05It's 40 minutes of slipping and tripping up and going, blah, blah, blah, and thinking of your wife and children.
21:11And at the end of it are 30 of the most hideous fucking creatures I've ever seen in my life.
21:1831 for us with Rob.
21:20It had been a mission just to get there, but once we did, we only had one strategy.
21:27Spray and pray, baby.
21:29Okay, come and look at me, you little bat bastard.
21:32We took hundreds of photos as quickly as we could.
21:36And compared to the spider, we were getting better in the dark.
21:40Oh, I've got some good ones there.
21:42But compared to the professionals, we were still nowhere near their level.
21:46So let's go.
21:48So is it this way back out as well?
21:50Yeah.
21:51Fucking hell.
21:58So how was it for you?
21:59Well, we did get some photos of those disgusting little upside-down rats.
22:03But, yeah, I don't...
22:05It's very tiring.
22:07Very hot in there, wasn't it?
22:09It was very hot, yeah.
22:10It was 97% humid.
22:12Is that right?
22:13I don't know what that means.
22:14Humidity.
22:15100% humidity is the sea.
22:17So you're underwater?
22:18But we were 97% of the way there.
22:20We're not 3% away from being in the sea.
22:22Well, I don't know how it works, but 100% humidity must be water.
22:25I wasn't in the cave.
22:27When you're in the cave, you can't go...
22:28If there was 3% more water in here, we'd be in the sea.
22:30Well, get me 3% more and we'll check.
22:32I am wet, though.
22:33Me too.
22:34I'm half seal.
22:35I'll tell you what is 97% humidity.
22:37My gooch.
22:38Oh, my anus is pure water.
22:39That's 103.
22:41Anyway.
22:42My skin is disgusting.
22:44I think I might have lost weight, though.
22:45Mm.
22:46I feel like we're on Celebrity Fat Club.
22:49Make the fat ones go tunneling through cave holes
22:51that can't fit through while a little fella with flip-flops flies through.
23:02It was hard.
23:03But it's one of those...
23:05I would describe it as one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences.
23:07And by once-in-a-lifetime, I mean I'm never fucking doing it again.
23:10Ever.
23:11Hi.
23:12This can't be real.
23:13This cannot be real.
23:14Brilliant.
23:15Do you know what?
23:16It's the perfect end to today.
23:17About two hours getting no decent photos.
23:18Bring on the thunderstorm.
23:19Please.
23:20Rob and I are deep into our second day in Sumatra.
23:21And we still didn't have an exhibition-worthy photo.
23:35So, with time running out, Dham had arranged for us to go on a night-time photography mission.
23:52But, given the weather, it was the last thing we wanted to do.
23:56Well, the conditions are shit.
23:58They are like...
23:59Do you know what these conditions are like?
24:00When that guy tried to steal the embryos in Jurassic Park.
24:05And that thing sprayed the stuff in his face.
24:08I'm half expecting to see a goat on a string.
24:10And then I look again and it's disappeared.
24:16We were on the edge of the rainforest to try something called night herping.
24:19Basically going out into the jungle to find snakes and amphibians that we could try to photograph.
24:26Everything was against us.
24:28But Dham told us not to worry as he had brought along some help.
24:32I asked my best friend to lead you on the night track.
24:38Assisting us on this hellish walk was Dham's friend, Ipau, a snake expert.
24:42Ipau, are any of the snakes poisonous?
24:44Number one is King Cobra.
24:45King Cobra?
24:46There's King Cobra here?
24:47Yeah, I can bite you.
24:48Have you ever been bitten?
24:49Yeah, I can bite.
24:50I'm already bite King Cobra.
24:51You've been bitten by King Cobra?
24:52Oh, of course.
24:53Look at this.
24:54Fucking hell.
24:55Oh my God.
24:56Yeah, and they've got them here, I think.
24:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:58Cool.
24:59Now I can bring to you a lucky person at night.
25:02You okay?
25:03That sounds good, man.
25:04That sounds great, man.
25:05Excited.
25:06I wish we'd ask that question after the walk, but cool.
25:08Let's do it.
25:09Okay.
25:10Let's go.
25:11Let's find some.
25:12Let's go.
25:13There's fucking King Cobras here.
25:15You know King Cobra...
25:16There could be one right round here.
25:19There's deadly shit out here.
25:21Oh, come in.
25:23Come in.
25:24Come in.
25:25I see this one snake.
25:26I see this one snake there.
25:27Where?
25:28There, there.
25:29Brown back.
25:30You see?
25:31Oh, yeah.
25:32Ah, this not strong.
25:33No, it's not strong.
25:34When I touch it, this snake can change in colour.
25:36Nah, I'm alright with that colour, to be honest.
25:37Yeah.
25:38Ippal.
25:39Now, Ippal, great guy.
25:40Would I put me and him together?
25:42Absolutely not.
25:43If I arrived on a stag do with someone I didn't know that well when Ippal was there,
25:46he'd probably be the last person I ended up chatting with.
25:48I love this snake.
25:50It's very good.
25:51I love this.
25:52You see?
25:53Also, surely, you've got to stick on a pair of boots and long sleeves for herping.
25:57I mean, I don't even go out in odd flip-flops to do the bins.
26:01He's sliding about, picking up cobras.
26:03No wonder it bit him.
26:05Oh, the green one.
26:06Oh, yeah.
26:07This viper.
26:08Little viper bastard.
26:09Yeah.
26:10Ah.
26:11But this one, when I bet you coma two week.
26:14Two week coma?
26:15Yeah.
26:16Wow, man.
26:17Shall we move on, then?
26:18Yeah.
26:19I do think this is rock bottom.
26:20I thought the bat cave was bad, but as we were going through the jungle,
26:24I was thinking nostalgically about the bat cave,
26:27and that became sort of my happy place in my head.
26:30As I walked through the jungle and Ippal pointed out another really poisonous snake.
26:35But it's good colour.
26:36It's a great colour.
26:37Good coma colour.
26:38Yeah.
26:39At one point in there, I thought I might as well get bit.
26:41At least I don't get to leave.
26:43I've just got to put my arm out in front of him.
26:45If I have a bang on that, mate, I'll get two weeks in hospital.
26:47Be easier than this.
26:49It is a low point when you're wishing for a coma.
26:54But despite the thunder, the lightning, and the snakes that put you in comas,
26:59best friends Ippal and Dahmer were still in high spirits.
27:02Look at this.
27:03Dancing insects?
27:04Dancing insects.
27:05And, almost unbelievably, their enthusiasm was starting to rub off on us.
27:10Yeah, Paul, this is such good herp, man.
27:11Yeah, yeah.
27:12We're doing some good herping, bro.
27:13This is great, isn't it?
27:14It is great.
27:15Do you know what?
27:16I think Dahmer, he'd be a great tour guide in Ibiza.
27:19He is just like, he's just got this mad vibe.
27:23Oh, gud, gud, gud.
27:25Look at that.
27:26It's going to be crazy, man.
27:27And then he shows his best friend, and his best friend, they've both been taking the same
27:32thing.
27:33Both absolutely off their tits on herp, and they want you to join them.
27:36Things are on the up, and what made it even better...
27:38Look, look here.
27:39Oh, that's a good one.
27:40Oh, that's a good one.
27:41...we were starting to find some less deadly wildlife.
27:44Hey, prog, prog, come in, prog, prog.
27:47So now we can get close enough to bag some half-decent photos.
27:51Say that.
27:54That's good herp.
27:55Great knife.
27:56Five-star stripper visor.
27:58Get your herp on.
28:00It's a good knife herping, eh?
28:02Yeah, great herping.
28:03Yeah.
28:04Some of the best herping I've ever done.
28:05Yeah, yeah.
28:06Dahmer is like, in the daytime...
28:08Sorry, just the lightning, so it's lightning again.
28:10It's a bit of lightning, so I got slightly distracted by the lightning.
28:14The herping had been a success, and after our second day in the jungle, we now had at
28:18least one photo we were proud of.
28:22So what did you make of herping?
28:24Erm, I'd say, when I was in the middle of that jungle, the worst place I've ever been
28:29in the world.
28:30And I've done night buses through Peckham.
28:32Yeah.
28:33But as herping goes, five-star.
28:34I suspect I prefer it not in a thunderstorm.
28:36What I did like, though, was meeting Dahmer's best friend.
28:39That was sweet, wasn't it?
28:40Yeah, really sweet.
28:41He was my best friend.
28:42Just imagine them just coming out here at one in the morning.
28:43It's a quick herp.
28:44Fancy a bit of herping.
28:45You see the bite on his arm?
28:46Yeah.
28:47Jesus Christ.
28:48I don't think, if I was recommending him as a tour guide, if I was giving him some
28:51advice, I'd say, don't open with the King Cobra stuff.
28:54He was wearing odd flip-flops as well.
28:55Have you seen that?
28:56Yeah, I mean, listen, the fact they were odd wasn't the big concern.
28:59Flip-flops.
29:00How is he wearing flip-flops?
29:01Absolutely wild.
29:02I wasn't thinking, get there matching, mate.
29:04I was thinking, get some fucking boots on, you lunatic.
29:06At 6am tomorrow, have another herp?
29:08Yeah, absolutely, I'll have another herp.
29:09Let's go.
29:10Let's herp.
29:11Ipple's still out there, by the way.
29:12Is he?
29:13Yeah, he's taken one of his sliders off just to be sassy.
29:15Rob and I are attempting to take a photo for Wildlife Photographer of the Year.
29:22If it's good enough, it'll be displayed here.
29:25Absolutely, if it's good enough, yeah.
29:27Competition judge Ros Kidman Cox had even reserved us a space in an exhibition seen by
29:32millions.
29:37After two days in Sumatra, surrounded by wildlife, all we had to offer was the underside of a frog.
29:43But from day one, Rob had his heart set on something else.
29:46What's your dream photo?
29:47I think an orangutan.
29:48The gentleman in the jungle, whatever he's called.
29:50So today, our guide Dharma was leading us deep into Gunung Lusa, in search of the king of the swingers.
29:56I'm excited because he reckons we're going to see orangutans.
30:00That's the shot we want.
30:02But first, we were meeting back up with photography expert, Ule.
30:05Good, how are you?
30:06Yeah, good.
30:08He was loading us up with all the tech.
30:10You want to open it?
30:11Yeah.
30:12So if we did find an orangutan, we couldn't miss.
30:14Oh, man.
30:15Oh, fuck off.
30:16You're taking a fist?
30:17Yes.
30:18That's mental.
30:19What the...
30:20This is not...
30:21This can't be...
30:22Yeah.
30:23This is the super tele.
30:26Yeah.
30:27This is a tele-zoom.
30:28This is 600 millimetres.
30:30And then...
30:31So that goes in that?
30:32Uh-huh.
30:33Then you have a little poke about in the woods?
30:34Yeah, just hop.
30:35We might as well have stayed in England and taken them from that.
30:37So that goes around your neck?
30:38Jesus Christ.
30:39You can't wander around like that.
30:41That is...
30:42Ule, that's not real.
30:44That's what we are.
30:45Do you reckon they'll see me coming?
30:47Yeah.
30:50It was our last shot.
30:52One last trip with Dharma and it wasn't going to be easy because we were looking for a critically endangered species.
30:58With only a few thousand Sumatran orangutans left, spread across thousands of miles of jungle, the odds weren't in our favour.
31:05Today is everything.
31:07Everything.
31:08I don't want to overstate it.
31:10The success of the trip rests on what happens in this jungle today.
31:14If we don't find an orangutan today, this has been a massive fucking waste of time.
31:18We had a long day ahead, but Dharma's 30 years of experience in the rainforest and his work with the Sumatran orangutan society would hopefully deliver us a competition-worthy photo.
31:28Sometimes, with the orangutan, we can communicate.
31:34Really?
31:35How can you?
31:36Yeah.
31:37For the male, we call that long calls to telling the single females I am here.
31:44Right.
31:45And that sounds look like, whoop, whoop, whoop, like that, which is, whoop, whoop, whoop.
31:53And it can hear about, what, two kilometres away.
31:56Yeah.
31:57Do you have a go?
31:58Pardon?
31:59Do you have a go?
32:00Whoop!
32:01Whoop!
32:02Whoop!
32:03Whoop!
32:04Whoop!
32:05Whoop!
32:06Whoop!
32:07Whoop!
32:08Whoop!
32:09Whoop!
32:10That's Lisa coming.
32:11Yeah.
32:12It worked.
32:13You're saying that Lisa's an orangutan that's responding to a mating call?
32:16No, I'm saying she's responding to your mating call.
32:20Dharma was a fountain of jungle knowledge.
32:22Rob was saying what he saw.
32:24Big old bastard tree, that, innit?
32:26What's this tree, Dharma?
32:28Uh, this is other type of, uh...
32:30Old rocket.
32:31Oh, you love that one, didn't you?
32:35You're gonna use that on your next door.
32:39Yeah.
32:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:41There's a whole Вам.
32:42Wow.
32:45Three hours into our trek, we hadn't taken a single photo.
32:48It was boiling and we were struggling.
32:51I can't even have been up in my life.
32:53I feel like I'm boiling a bag of turkeys.
32:55We'd covered over eight kilometres, but it was hard going.
32:59Oh, God. Oh, you all right?
33:01Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
33:03Even armed with our mating calls...
33:08...we still hadn't seen an orangutan...
33:10...and I was starting to give up hope.
33:12Oh, God.
33:14Never ends, is it? How big is this jungle?
33:16One million hectares.
33:18So many hectares. We could afford to lose a bit.
33:20Well, no, no. We want to keep it for the other...
33:22No, just kidding. Just a bit of environmental banter.
33:25The hours of walking were starting to get to Rob.
33:27Are we going to see an actual orangutan today, do you think?
33:30Close the finger.
33:31I like Dahmer. I think he's a great guy.
33:34He is difficult to read in that he's incredibly positive about everything.
33:38So it's highly likely at the end of the day, he'll just go,
33:41We didn't find any orangutans.
33:43And then we'll just have to live with it.
33:44And then I assume Rob will pummel him to death.
33:48Shit.
33:49What's just that?
33:51Yeah, well...
33:52We'd been on our feet for hours, and still no sign of an orangutan.
33:56The day was getting on, and soon we'd have to start heading back.
34:01But then...
34:04Look at that!
34:05Wow!
34:07Man!
34:08It's looking at you, Rob.
34:09Oh, my God!
34:10Look at that!
34:11Look at that!
34:12Do we do the noise?
34:13Should we do the noise?
34:14No!
34:15No, no, no, no.
34:16Oh, my God.
34:17After a long and hot four hours of searching, we'd finally found a female orangutan.
34:23Right, let's get the cameras out.
34:24Camera!
34:25I'll get yours out, you get mine out, okay?
34:27But this was the first time we used our massive telephoto lens, and they handled like scaffolding poles.
34:33Oh, my God.
34:34Must have made me to hold up.
34:35Oh, God.
34:36Is it coming down?
34:37This was the moment we'd been waiting for, and we were making a mess of it.
34:41Why does it keep moving, the bastard?
34:43It's as well, are this?
34:45Can I have it?
34:46I've got the back of it.
34:48And just like that, she disappeared.
34:51Go on.
34:52Go on.
34:53Shall we chase it?
34:54No.
34:55No, okay.
34:56It's a good decision.
34:57It's time for her.
34:58Yeah.
34:59You are so lucky, man.
35:00Yeah?
35:01You are.
35:02I don't think you'll think that when you see the photos.
35:04Look, I've got that.
35:05Dharma delivered the moment, but we've completely failed to photograph it.
35:11I literally cannot believe this just happened.
35:14I mean, as soon as she saw our camera, she moved.
35:16All we had to do was take the shot.
35:18Yeah.
35:19And we couldn't deliver.
35:20No.
35:21We've done a nearly 20-hour flight, four or five-hour trek.
35:23Yeah.
35:24You found us in orangutan, and between us at one photo.
35:26Is there one chained up anywhere?
35:27I've got one in the group there.
35:30It's difficult to say, but it was a massive cock-up.
35:35As soon as we got the cameras out, it moved like it didn't want to be on sky.
35:39It was just like, do you know what?
35:40I'm only going to do terrestrial.
35:42Yeah, I've got nothing here.
35:43It's got to find out, bro.
35:45It's...
35:46I can't believe...
35:47I've got absolutely fuck off.
35:50It's like there.
35:52I've got the same camera they used to shoot Jupiter.
35:55Right, Dharma, thank you very much.
35:56That was amazing.
35:57You delivered.
35:58Thank you so much.
35:59This is your lap.
36:00Is it just back the four hours we came?
36:02Yep.
36:03Great.
36:04Okay, cool.
36:05Off we go.
36:06We had four hours of walking ahead.
36:08Just enough time to reflect on how badly it had gone.
36:11I don't even know if I can talk to Lisa and the kids about it.
36:14Dad's back.
36:15Oh, my God.
36:16Show us the photo of the orangutans.
36:18I haven't got any, son.
36:20But...
36:21But you saw them, didn't you?
36:22Yeah.
36:23You said it was really close, yeah?
36:25So, did you get a photo?
36:28No.
36:29What's the matter, Dad?
36:30Did you not have a good camera?
36:31I had the best, son.
36:34Was it a rubbish lens?
36:35It was the biggest lens you could get.
36:37But you still didn't get a photo?
36:38No.
36:39Why?
36:40Because your dad's shit.
36:43I hate you, Dad.
36:44I hate me, too, son.
36:47What?
36:48What?
36:49What is it?
36:50I don't have a orangutan.
36:52Oh, look.
36:53Oh, my God.
36:54Look at that rope.
36:55That's amazing.
36:56Oh, yeah.
36:57That's so good.
36:58Yeah, it's a good spot.
36:59That's amazing.
37:02I'm getting a leaf.
37:04Where is it?
37:05Where's it gone?
37:06Oh, for fuck's sake.
37:09So heavy.
37:12She's a hungry girl.
37:14A lanstein.
37:15This time, we were better prepared.
37:17And I had a good feeling about some of my photos.
37:20You're a legend, Dharma.
37:21Well, congratulations.
37:22You've done it.
37:23Dharma, thank you, bro.
37:24Congratulations.
37:25This is amazing.
37:26The hours of struggling through the forest
37:28suddenly felt like nothing.
37:30If this was what wildlife photography is all about,
37:33I was into it.
37:44Oh, my God.
37:46That's amazing.
37:47That's amazing.
37:48Hey, I'm falling.
37:50Finally.
37:51Hey, are we going to get cameras?
37:52Let me get cameras.
37:53Come here.
37:54I'll tell you what.
37:55We've had a stroke of luck.
37:56Because we thought we were done.
37:57We had an absolute howler with the first one.
37:59We're walking through.
38:00Then big daddy boy's up there.
38:02Sitting there.
38:03Big old plate face.
38:06Just free target.
38:07Nice looking at you.
38:08You're deciding which one's comedy before us.
38:10Didn't move.
38:11I'm going on one knee.
38:12I'm fucking getting into this.
38:13Wow.
38:14You actually nailed him.
38:15Got full frontal and open jaw.
38:17It's got a win, isn't it?
38:19Oh, smash that.
38:20Yeah, you're the man.
38:22We've done it.
38:23Proper photos of one of the rarest species on the planet.
38:27We definitely had something for Roz.
38:29Even if Ron was still at sixes and sevens with his camera.
38:36Oh, my God.
38:37You don't look down the hole thing.
38:38You just look on it like an iPad.
38:40What?
38:41Yeah.
38:42You've not been looking down the hole a time.
38:43No, I've just been using that.
38:44That is wild.
38:45I can't be asked to look down the hole, mate.
38:46Jesus Christ.
38:47You've got to look down the hole.
38:48Let me try holding up to my eye.
38:49Yeah, yeah.
38:50As a photographer would.
38:51Oh, it's so much better.
38:52You're like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando.
38:58Say hello to the wild blood photographer of the year.
39:02Lucky you.
39:03We're not expecting this.
39:05We've got three.
39:06Yeah.
39:07I'm scientific they're not endangered.
39:08It's a good bit of PR.
39:09It's been amazing.
39:10I mean, it's such a rare animal to see.
39:18Was that an upper hand attack?
39:21Fucking leave us alone.
39:26It was time to say goodbye to Dharma.
39:28He never stopped smiling even when we were falling apart.
39:31And he delivered when we needed it most.
39:33Dharma, that was amazing.
39:35Oh, thank you.
39:36All right, then.
39:37Thank you so much.
39:38Three orangutans.
39:39Three orangutans.
39:40It's been incredible.
39:41We've done so many amazing things.
39:43Yeah.
39:44The caves.
39:45Caves.
39:46Elephants.
39:47Elephants.
39:48Bridges.
39:49We've been so lucky with what we've seen.
39:50We've been really lucky.
39:51Yeah, you are.
39:52You are the luckiest person in this planet at the moment by seeing the big daddy boy.
39:57The big daddy boy.
39:58The big daddy boy.
39:59The big daddy boy.
40:00We've returned to civilization to start sorting through the thousands of photos we've taken since we'd arrived in Somalia.
40:03All right, then.
40:04All right, we're going.
40:05All right, we're going.
40:06Okay, yeah, let's go.
40:07Okay.
40:08Nice to meet you.
40:09Nice to meet you.
40:10Nice to meet you.
40:11See you later.
40:12See you later.
40:13Take care.
40:14Still alive.
40:15I'm still alive.
40:16Still alive.
40:17And keep smiling, man.
40:18Big daddy boy.
40:19Big daddy boy.
40:24We've returned to civilization to start sorting through the thousands of photos we've taken since we'd arrived in Sumatra.
40:32Now we had to select two of our best each to send to competition judge Roz.
40:37Okay.
40:38There was a lot of rubbish.
40:39That shit.
40:40Really bad, that one, yeah.
40:42But there were a few that stood out.
40:44Oh!
40:45That's the one I like.
40:46That is good.
40:47That's a big yawn.
40:48That's the best so far.
40:49It had taken hours, but we'd selected two photos each to send to Roz.
40:55I was sending in a nighttime frog and my female orangutan looking off into the middle distance.
41:02I was going all in on big daddy boy.
41:05He looked good whatever.
41:06Big smiley boy.
41:08And easily photo of the week, big yawn boy.
41:11There's a couple of shots in there that could be quite good.
41:14And I'm really gutted to say that the best one might have been taken by Rob Beckett.
41:20So with the photo sent to Roz to judge, all we could do was wait.
41:24And the next day, we got an answer.
41:31Hello.
41:32Hello Roz, it's Rob and Rob.
41:34Hello.
41:35Hello, hello.
41:36So you made it?
41:37Roz, it's tough out here.
41:39I think we've got good photos, but it's a harsh place.
41:42Yeah, now.
41:43I got them overnight.
41:45I've had a good look.
41:46Okay.
41:47And actually, I was quite surprised.
41:50I was impressed in fact.
41:52Wow.
41:53Because you've actually done very well.
41:55Oh, thank you.
41:57I really liked the little form.
41:58It looked like it was about to try and eat something.
42:01It had an attitude.
42:02That was my photo.
42:03I was very passionately taking it.
42:05Okay.
42:06But the one I decided on, I really liked, was the female.
42:11And she's looking to one side.
42:13Oh.
42:14Got one again.
42:15It's on her.
42:16The light has caught her eyes.
42:18Just as a glint in her eye.
42:20Incredibly, Roz had liked all mine.
42:23And none of Rob's had even got a mention.
42:25But I thought I'd better at least pretend to be gracious about it.
42:28Do you know why we like the yawning one?
42:31It's because it was like a bit of an action shot.
42:33That's why we thought that was better.
42:34Yeah.
42:35And teeth and stuff.
42:36But I'm afraid on the left, it's just too distracting and messy with the light coming through.
42:42Yeah.
42:43Well, you see, it's a jungle, Roz.
42:44What do you want me to boot?
42:45Retire it?
42:46Well, you know...
42:49A cup of bamboo wall, Roz.
42:50Give us a chance.
42:51It's a jungle.
42:52Well, we're coming onto the wall now.
42:54Oh.
42:55Okay.
42:56But I just wanted to say, you did do well.
42:59Yeah.
43:00You know, joking aside, I hadn't expected shots that would be good enough to put on the wall.
43:05Oh.
43:06So, my favourite one will be on show at the Wildlife Photographer, the exhibition at the Natural History Museum.
43:15Really?
43:16Yeah.
43:17So, well done.
43:18Oh, my God.
43:19So, middle distance is going on the wall.
43:21Middle distance on the wall.
43:22Thank you, Roz.
43:23I'm buzzing.
43:24Is there any space for another one?
43:26Yeah, it would be my second one, wouldn't it?
43:28No, it's the one.
43:29Yeah, it would be.
43:30Shit.
43:31I'm sorry.
43:32Don't worry, yeah.
43:33I know what it's like.
43:34You're tied for space at the Natural History Museum.
43:36Yeah.
43:37You once had a dinosaur in the middle of it.
43:39Famously.
43:40Famously.
43:41Famously.
43:42Famously devoid of walls.
43:45I'm buzzing, Roz.
43:46That's amazing news.
43:47I can't believe it.
43:49All right.
43:50All right.
43:51See you soon.
43:52Bye.
43:53Bye.
43:54Bye.
43:55So, after travelling over 6,000 miles across the globe,
44:01never ends, is it?
44:03Trekking with elephants.
44:04Can't be a dumbo.
44:05Crawling through caves.
44:06Oh, my God.
44:07Spraying prey, baby.
44:09And dodging coma-inducing snakes.
44:11There's King Cobra here.
44:12Yeah.
44:13We finally managed to capture a shot worthy...
44:15Oh, my God.
44:16...of the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition.
44:19Oh, that's my shirt.
44:20And what made it even better was that Rob didn't have a single picture on the wall.
44:26I thought I'd nailed it to this.
44:27Yeah.
44:28Well, you know, it's just exciting.
44:31Photos going up.
44:32Photos going up.
44:33I would say, though, we've done pretty well here, considering how bad our photos were,
44:37to the good ones we've got.
44:38I think it just goes to show you that, like, if you've got a bit of determination...
44:42Yes.
44:43...you've got a guide that takes you exactly to where the animals are...
44:45Yeah.
44:46...and somebody's showing you how to use the camera.
44:47And about eight grand's worth of equipment.
44:49Yeah.
44:50You know, so if you do have access to that, I'd say, you know, anyone can get involved in this competition.
44:54There are no barriers to entry.
44:55All you've got to do is have a 15-year comedy career, build yourself up to the point where
44:59you've got enough profile to do a show on Sky, then have the amount of technical support
45:03that we had in order to take one photo that's good out of 15,000.
45:06Yes.
45:07We've made it.
45:08Yeah.
45:09And unfortunately, because there's not enough wall space, I'm not.
45:11No.
45:12Well, I'm going to go hose down my gooch.
45:13Yep.
45:14Thank you, Indonesia.
45:15Let's get me to Bromley.
45:16Yeah.
45:17We're still alive, baby.
45:18I'm going to have a cheese sandwich and a Stella when I go.
45:21I see trees of green, red roses too.
45:28I see them bloom for me and you.
45:34And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
45:46Oh, yes.
45:47I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
46:00Oh, yes.
46:05Dr.
46:08Oh, yes.
46:12That's
46:16me.
46:17Sweetie
46:22Sweetie
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