- 1 week ago
The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In - Season 3 Episode 100 -
(special) The 2 Johnnies Best Bits
(special) The 2 Johnnies Best Bits
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00:00MUSIC CONTINUES
00:24Hello and welcome to the best of the two Johnny's Late Night Blockin!
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:35Now, there were so many great moments from the last series,
00:37who can forget Margot Robbie giving Johnny B a piggyback?
00:40Ah, the time we bet Ronaldo on headers and volleys!
00:42Yeah, Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter,
00:44remember they did that acoustic version of the guy to scam the rat?
00:47That's right!
00:48But it tells you just how good tonight's show is,
00:50cos none of them made the highlight reel!
00:55Alright, let's take a look at what did make the cut.
00:57Roll that 10!
00:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02Now, it's time to find out, who's in the bar?
01:05We're in the bar!
01:07Who's in the bar?
01:08We're in the bar!
01:09Don't know how I learned how to do this,
01:11but I can balance things on my nose and my face,
01:13I can balance pretty much, pretty much anything I think.
01:17On your face?
01:18Yeah!
01:19That's Chauvin's!
01:20Now, now!
01:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:22You ready?
01:23Go to three!
01:24One!
01:25Two!
01:26Three!
01:27One!
01:28Two!
01:29Three!
01:30Three!
01:31Oh!
01:42I put one ear in first, and then another one, but this is where the real trick happens.
01:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:51That's amazing!
01:53That's amazing!
01:54The peak body clock
01:56I gotta keep on dancing at the peak body clock
01:59I gotta keep on dancing at the peak body clock
02:03I've got to keep on dancing at the peep party club, peep party club.
02:15Yeah!
02:21Jesus, lads.
02:23What do you say that?
02:25Can you do that? I don't want to put you on the spot.
02:27Watch your record, lads.
02:29All right, here we go.
02:31What am I bloody down here?
02:37Yeah!
02:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:59Are you, Stacey?
03:03LAUGHTER
03:05I just can't do the ball. I can't do the ball.
03:09You, yourself, almost had a career as a pop star.
03:15I did audition for a boy band for Louis Walsh.
03:19Yeah, well, how did it go?
03:21Yeah, not great.
03:23It was in the pod in Dublin. Do you remember the pod?
03:25Yeah, yeah.
03:27They called my name up and I'm starting to sing.
03:29I can show you the world from Aladdin.
03:31Good song choice.
03:33What song choice?
03:35I don't know.
03:37And do you know what? I started to, boy.
03:39I started and went, I'm in trouble.
03:41I'm in trouble.
03:43I'm in trouble.
03:45What?
03:47I don't know.
03:49What song choice?
03:51I don't know.
03:53And do you know what? I started to, boy.
03:55I started and went, I'm in trouble.
03:57LAUGHTER
03:59So, afterwards, anyway, Louis kept going to me.
04:01He wanted to get you.
04:03I'm going to put you in a band, I'm going to put you in a band.
04:05I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool.
04:07I'm getting all brilliant.
04:09After that audition, he took me outside and says,
04:11maybe not this band, but I'm definitely going to work with you in something.
04:13I was like, all right, brilliant.
04:15Thank God, I really messed that up.
04:17He said, now, we have to get something done with them ears.
04:19LAUGHTER
04:21What?
04:23We have to get something done with them ears?
04:25Yeah, and I was like, I was looking and going,
04:27I'm only 16.
04:29Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, sure.
04:31So I went home and I was saying to me ma,
04:33he said I have to get something done with my ears.
04:35I was thinking me ma would say, like, cheeky bastard.
04:37Yeah, yeah.
04:39My ma turned around and says, do you want to get something done with them?
04:41LAUGHTER
04:43I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me ears?
04:45Last week in York, there was a man playing with himself
04:47up in the stalls of the show.
04:49I know, I was thrilled!
04:51Yeah.
04:53I was absolutely delighted!
04:55I was like, shut up!
04:57Was he hot?
04:59Was he wearing a ring? What was the crack?
05:01Because that just never happened.
05:03But he was, like, having a little...
05:05Now, I was fed, I didn't know how...
05:07He was having a little go of himself, I'd say.
05:09What? He wasn't having a full...
05:11Right.
05:12You know what I mean?
05:13It wasn't full of pepper shit.
05:14No, it was like...
05:15LAUGHTER
05:17Yeah.
05:18It was a little sprinkling.
05:20Would you say a little sprinkling of sorts?
05:22A fondle?
05:23A fondle!
05:24It's like he was playing three blind mice on himself.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:27Because then, I didn't know...
05:28Anyway, I saw the footage of it and it was quite innocent in the end.
05:31OK.
05:32It wasn't the compliment I thought it was.
05:33Ah, right.
05:34Yeah.
05:35But when he was removed, you just went.
05:36And I was like, that's not that hot.
05:38You should have fought for me.
05:39Do you know what I mean?
05:40LAUGHTER
05:41I want to stay and finish.
05:42She's still hot.
05:43I just left.
05:44So that's the closest thing I've had.
05:46What kind of commitment is that?
05:47I think I'm seeing him now.
05:48LAUGHTER
05:49I think we're going to date.
05:51True or false, were you the only boy in an all-girls school?
05:54True, yeah.
05:55True, yeah.
05:56True.
05:57Why?
05:58What?
05:59I don't know.
06:00I didn't make up the rules.
06:02Not with me, folks.
06:03I think they just left it so long to put me into a school that there was no...
06:08In our local area, there was no places left, right?
06:10Yeah.
06:11So they had to just...
06:12You have to go to school.
06:13It's law.
06:14Yeah.
06:15And eventually the only school that would take me was the girls' school.
06:18So I went in.
06:19So I spent the first seven years in my school with all girls.
06:22In my class and everything.
06:23We have a picture of you here.
06:25LAUGHTER
06:26APPLAUSE
06:27Very...
06:28Very over-drift for a Monday.
06:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:30That was just when I went to school, you know what?
06:31I look like a little cult leader in that, don't I?
06:32It's like all these little miniature wives that I have, that this little cult leader has.
06:47Looking back on it, I was like, no-one's going to want to touch me.
06:50Well, I was wrong.
06:51I didn't know it blew up.
06:53And then they tweet Putin and it was the worst thing ever.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:57You tweeted who?
06:58I tweeted Putin.
06:59Vladimir Putin.
07:00I tweeted...
07:01What did you say to him?
07:03I just said, hey bro, how much did you pay them?
07:06LAUGHTER
07:08He's here tonight making that.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11And that lad.
07:14APPLAUSE
07:16Scourious...
07:17There came for about a year or two after that.
07:22Anything about some versions, I shit myself up.
07:25I was like, someone's just going to stick a pen on me or something like that.
07:27And I'll have say now, poison.
07:29What is your record in the long jump?
07:316.32.
07:32Six metres.
07:33Woo!
07:34Pint 32.
07:35Yeah.
07:36Right, well, the reason we're asking that is because earlier, myself and Max gave it a go.
07:40LAUGHTER
07:42We didn't know what was a good length, what was a bad length.
07:45We've got a video here of Johnny trying to...
07:47Do you want to see it?
07:48Yeah.
07:49Yeah.
07:50Here we go.
07:51LAUGHTER
07:52No, I just want to say I am carrying a quad injury.
07:57The grind's a bit tight.
07:58I didn't have the right runners, several things.
08:03Right, okay.
08:04Would you do the honours?
08:05Can we stand up?
08:06Yeah, here you go.
08:07You can reveal that...
08:09Where you are there?
08:10Smack's got 1.7.
08:14I'll take that.
08:15Pretty good.
08:16It doesn't...
08:17It looks better measured out than it does on the video.
08:22Let's have a look and see how Johnny B got on.
08:25Oh, that was fun.
08:28He was cheating, he had really good runners on.
08:31What did you get, John?
08:32I did slightly better, I got 2.2.
08:35What did you say you got again?
08:376.32.
08:386.32, okay.
08:39We're just going to explain that to people, if we can.
08:42You jumped.
08:44LAUGHTER
08:45There's four...
08:47There's five metres.
08:496.32 here.
08:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
08:53Well, I have two dogs.
08:54I had two dogs.
08:55I've had a three-legged lurcher called Lola for years.
09:04And then we fostered Mick, who has four legs.
09:07And there they are there, yeah.
09:09I don't know...
09:10Awww.
09:11I don't know what they're doing.
09:13LAUGHTER
09:14It looks like Lola's going, you've got to earn your place in this house, mate.
09:27We know at the same time that, say all ye jockeys, you're all in the same way room.
09:32You're all, like, kind of togging out together for want of a better room.
09:34We're literally beside each other, we're all...
09:36Can I get spicy in there, like, can I be...
09:38Do you know what I mean?
09:39Like, I'll be honest, like, if some lad cut me off down a corner, he'd be...
09:42You know?
09:43Yeah, there's kind of a code.
09:44Right.
09:45It can get spicy, there'd be a couple of...
09:46But really, like, we're small, little...
09:48Lads.
09:49It's kind of...
09:50It's kind of a...
09:51It's kind of a mormon.
09:52LAUGHTER
09:53Don't do that again.
09:54LAUGHTER
09:55Why is Samba so hard?
09:56Because it's all about, like, bouncing and moving your hips and your body.
10:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:02So...
10:03I mean, is there any music in this place?
10:06Yeah!
10:07Can we get a bit of Samba music?
10:09Ooh!
10:10There we go.
10:11Can you explain how did we go?
10:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:15How did we go?
10:20How did we go?
10:21How did we go?
10:22How did we go?
10:23How did we go?
10:24How did we go?
10:25Hang on, how did we go?
10:26Hang on, how did we go?
10:27Hang on, how did we go?
10:28Hang on, how did we go?
10:29Could you explain the basic steps?
10:30That's actually...
10:31Whoever put that song on, that's very fast.
10:32Right, so we don't normally go that quick, but they're a batch of cardes that you would do to that.
10:35I knew it was a batch of cardes.
10:37Classic batch of cardes.
10:38So, you close your feet.
10:39Right, close your feet, lads, I hope you all do with us.
10:41Come on, we all doing it.
10:42And girls, come on.
10:43Can you take a step back?
10:44Here we go, lads.
10:45Right, okay, listen up, here we go.
10:46So, we close our feet, and we're going to go back on our right, and then left.
10:48So, it's literally just back, back, and stay up on your toes, wiggling your hips.
10:52So, we let you go, boom, boom, boom, boom.
10:56Right?
10:57Not bad.
10:58And then we'll just shake.
11:01You ready for music?
11:02Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on.
11:03But do you reckon, we want people to...
11:05Why are you not joining him?
11:06We want people to learn to dance.
11:07Oh, you're doing it behind the bar.
11:08We want people to learn to dance.
11:09Yeah.
11:10But there probably won't be too much samba music on in the pub in Tipperary.
11:13Yeah.
11:14Okay.
11:15So, can we do this to a song that you might hear in a pub in Ireland?
11:17Oh, we can make it work.
11:18Okay, right, lads.
11:19Okay, well, seeing as you are the only real pro presenter here,
11:48you do live television all the time.
11:50Oh!
11:51Would you read the autocue and throw it to the link for us?
11:52I would love to.
11:53Where am I going down here?
11:54You see the screen's on top here, here we go.
11:55Okay, we have got a camera on the streets of Waterford where everyone...
11:58Oh, you absolutely can't.
12:04In your own time, let's give her a chance.
12:06Say it!
12:07Say it!
12:08Say it!
12:09Say it!
12:10Say it!
12:11Say it!
12:12Say it!
12:13Say it!
12:14Say it!
12:15Say it!
12:16Say it!
12:17Say it!
12:18Say it!
12:19We have got a camera on the streets of Waterford where everyone smells of cabbage
12:23Never go there because they're all sod-busting blighting bog monsters to know what it is. It's way better
12:29Also, I love the two audience
12:45Let's head back to Coogee Beach in Sydney. Oh, I feel like home in a way
12:53Right, so just by looking at somebody... Who's this lad?
12:56Are the Irish or are the Australian?
12:58This lad looks so scared. Get in on him
13:01Get in on him
13:03Aw, he's got budgie
13:05Okay, don't say, Anthony, man. You're live on television. Nod your head if you're up for playing a game
13:09I think he's got a big Irish head in him, but he's Australian from the neck down
13:14If that's at all possible
13:17Joanne, what do you reckon? I agree with you. The pants aren't...
13:20There's no Irish man to wear those pants
13:22But he does have an Irish head
13:24I'm confused
13:26Audience, what do you reckon? Irish or Aussie?
13:28Aussie!
13:30Okay, what's your name, mate, and where are you from?
13:32Joanne from Ireland
13:36We've got a game that we're calling We Aren't Family
13:39Yeah, so we've got a camera out in the streets of Galway where all the members of the family are dancing to the same tune
13:45But here's the catch, one person isn't in the family
13:47Your job is to spot the imposter
13:49Okay
13:50Okay, alright, let's go live to Galway
13:52Okay, here we go
13:55Lads, we've got the DeSantis family
13:57I feel like I know already
13:58Hang on, hang on
14:00From one to six, straight away
14:02Roddy, you're looking at them
14:03Who do you think is not in the family?
14:05In the family?
14:08Yeah, they're all a family bar one
14:10That fella number two, he looks a bit right
14:14Andrew, what do you reckon?
14:16Preserved
14:17Number three, cos he looks too happy
14:21No family's that happy
14:22Yeah
14:23Okay, Karen, what do you reckon?
14:24Oh, now you're going close, it's hard
14:26Yeah
14:27No, so that's, they look the image
14:28Yeah
14:29That fella on the end looks like he's just being plumped there
14:32It could be him, right
14:33He looks a bit awkward
14:35They say the rhythm is in the genes
14:36So let's find out
14:37We'll get them dancing
14:38Let's see
14:39Is this live?
14:40Yeah, this is live in Galway
14:41Come on, you good people
14:42Right, hit the music
14:45Oh, I'm taking number four
14:50Who do you reckon?
14:52Oh
14:53Who do you reckon?
14:54Oh
14:55It's amazing, number four is dancing with his toe
15:02Karen, who's not in the family?
15:03Oh, that's so hard
15:04I tell you, I think number three is American
15:07Number three looks a bit, yeah, he looks a bit foreign
15:09He looks American
15:10Okay
15:11But so does number one
15:12That girl looks too jolly compared to the rest of them
15:14Okay, who's not in the family?
15:16Three
15:17Three
15:18What do you call it?
15:19What number?
15:20Four you reckon?
15:21Ronnie Rick is four
15:22I'll tell you what, say or not
15:23Because we'll find out after the break
15:24That she knows all the way
15:27When I'm flat in the mountain
15:29Marty has some head and fall it's in
15:31We are family
15:34We are family
15:35We are family
15:37We are family
15:39We are family
15:42We are family
15:44We are family
15:45Hey
15:46Hey
15:47Welcome back to the Two Johnnies of Late Night Lock-In
15:49Now, before the break we've seen the DeSantos family on the streets of Galway
15:56But one person wasn't actually part of the family John
15:59Yes, let's go back to Galway and see lads
16:01Right, looking at the screens
16:02Who do we think is not part of the family lads?
16:04What do you reckon?
16:05What number?
16:06Six
16:07Six
16:08What are we saying?
16:09Okay, okay, moment of truth
16:10Moment of truth
16:11We think it's number four
16:12Some people are saying number six
16:14Would the real imposter please step forward?
16:17Yes
16:19Yes
16:20Yes
16:21Yes
16:22Yes
16:23Yes
16:24Yes
16:25Yes
16:26Okay, number four
16:27What's your name and how do you know the family or have you ever met them before?
16:30My name is Cian and I have no idea who these people are
16:33Put your hands together and a big thank you to everybody on the streets of Galway
16:38Praise the Lord
16:43We're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous
16:56dangerous don't let them play outside why what in case they discover
16:59exploration independence problem-solving resilience and essential fucking adult
17:04skills and ironically leaving them indoors with the iPad where the
17:08paedophiles actually live by the way
17:12so we find ourselves in an environment I learned just recently Ireland has a
17:20Navy we've seven boats lads all the dictators of the world are shitting
17:29themselves now aren't they huh we have seven ships seven vessels and their job
17:34is to go around the island to go around the island now I don't know if they go up
17:39the north right I haven't googled it yet right so they go three quarters around
17:46the island right or up there I'm a cross community comedian pick your side lads
17:51right and their job and I didn't know this when I go to bed at night and my
17:55lovely warm pillow there's men and women out there on the water away from their
18:01own families four or five weeks at a time protecting our country they're away from
18:06their own families riding each other oh they're all at it just like the guards
18:12to the teachers
18:16oh they love oh they live on the Atlantic Ocean they love it like and they're away
18:28from they're away from away from their own families protecting our country and I'm at
18:33home and these people will never let us down if we ever get invaded but only in
18:37Ireland would this happen that one day on the news the government announced to the
18:42rest of the world that five of the ships were broken what sort of a country
18:48announces to the rest of the world that their first line of defense is broken
18:55keep your mouth shut lads tell them you have a hundred boats and say nothing right I
19:01know the UK have a policy to stop the boats in Ireland we can't even feckin start
19:06this is the weirdest RT show I have ever done ladies and gentlemen and I just
19:19recently did high road low road for RT1 don't anybody see it yeah if anybody see
19:22okay you flick a coin two percent flick a coin one person gets the high road the
19:26high-end five-star experience the other person gets the low road the shite
19:30experience high road low road Colin Murphy and I went to Poland Colin Murphy got
19:33front row tickets to a Coldplay concert backstage passes and a chance to chat to
19:39Chris Martin one-on-one for 25 minutes and I got the high road
19:44I'm single at the minute and oh yes meet me at the bar afterwards and but I think I think I
19:58think I know why I'm single now I think I figured it out I think it's because I
20:01like to think I can change a man yes the girls over here as well we love a little bit of a
20:08project don't we you know the way some men like to fix cars well I like to fix men I'll look for
20:15something on the verge of breaking down and I'll be like come here to me and then I'll
20:20spend two years under that thing making sure it's roadworthy don't worry guys as
20:26a comedian you're in safe hands with me I'm very woke unbelievable unbelievable like even when it
20:32comes to the old LGBTQTA I've got a best friend for every letter I do I've got a best friend for
20:39every like lesbian that's my friend Yvonne like G that's my friend Brian like T
20:44trans that's my friend Yvonne again she's great she covers a load of letters for me actually
20:47because she's on the real that one she's great she doesn't cover asexual at the end people who don't
20:55want to have sex but my wife sorts that one out so it's fine you learn a lot when you become a dad
21:06the breastfeeding and all that I remember the very first time ever experiencing it I was there my wife
21:11she was trying to feed the baby wasn't really working I didn't realize I thought it just would
21:15work all the time you know and God bless the nurses and nurse came into the room and grabbed my wife's
21:21breast and my son's head with the elegance of a builder you know like picking an extension lead
21:28out of a puddle I'll get it to work don't worry and now I kind of thrive on the awkwardness you
21:33know I love it like my my my wife's dad was coming to visit when we had the baby and I could see by the
21:40walk on the man when he walked into the living room that he was going to go for a kiss with the baby
21:45and I also knew his daughter was feeding the baby so I could have stopped him but I was bored out of
21:58my mind you know I said ah this would be good and fair play to him he must have known when he got to
22:04there but he kept going all the way down so awkward and then he tried to make a joke about it which is
22:09something I wouldn't recommend to be quite honest with you because the joke he went for that evening
22:14right was leave some for me you greedy little shit we haven't seen him since you know he doesn't
22:23am I the only fucker that can see the obvious link between the decline of drinking alcohol
22:29and the rise of celibacy it's fucking obvious um Siobhan and Noel I don't know how long you've been
22:36together 24 years right we don't even need to check right unless you're Muslim or a recovering
22:43addict Noel you were off your tits the first time you got it on with Siobhan there is no one there is
22:49no there is no other way there is no there is sorry guaranteed well
23:01well we know well now that's guaranteed then I know we don't even need to check Noel do not confirm
23:13I know for a fact you wouldn't even be here tonight you never would were it not for alcohol
23:19you would not have been created there'd be an empty space there'd be no rose Noel would have had to get
23:25to the point where I go I could see two of you can I smash one of you it would have been something like
23:29that wouldn't it it's bang on thank you that's it put your chips on my back Noel that's it
23:36that's it I can feel the vinegar on my Chinese tattoo thank you very much good evening
23:44ladies and gentlemen it's time for one of the greatest quizzes of all time it's the parish quiz
23:52I also heard you're a lifeguard you're a qualified lifeguard yeah technically yeah but I can't swim
24:14right so you're a lifeguard you can't swim you're aware of what lifeguards do yeah how who how did you
24:22qualify um I did a class in school with about 20 other people and I was the only one that failed
24:28and they felt bad so they passed me and I'll tell you one thing Dean if I'm ever in the river lab please
24:34please just offer me a soup instead or something what are you up to yourself oh doing a bit of milking
24:40I'm doing a bit of nursing bit of milking a bit of nursing bit of nursing bit of milking yeah the two ends of it you know
24:45are you a nurse trying I'm in my I only dropped out once and I didn't drop out this past two years
24:54so I'm doing well now should get on to Dean's teacher he'll definitely pass it and who are you looking
25:01or who are you looking for who are you looking for he's a fellow up the road from me so right
25:10Malcolm there nearly five years so no we heard you had an interest in the other roles of Tralee yourself
25:16what's this what's going on I know we love so we're only about 40 minutes odd from Tralee at home so we go
25:23back every year so I recognized a few of the faces when I came in this evening I know we love it
25:27how do you think Caitlin is doing oh she's fab Caitlin's a dose yes such a good girl great answer
25:32roasterly answer 100% I feel like that you already do you have a favorite animal I do Snoopy the cow
25:43Snoopy the cow now is Snoopy the cow just your favorite or is it a pet or what oh it's a pet yeah no
25:51as she as as a calf and a heifer she used to snoop into our pockets right see what she could find
25:57usually sweets or something you know something good so that's why she got the name Snoopy
26:03the way I left your timer there's a lot of money in there there's none of that Johnny
26:07beating off with John in Rosnery here's your question hi Johnny congratulations on becoming the
26:33Thor Johnny just to ask you who was the captain of the st. Mary's adult team the
26:39one the junior B championship and here's his mother
26:51it's a mirage the man asking the question is standing right there
26:57who is it's mommy the woman in the video is your mother yeah okay so the answer to
27:11the question is my brother James Lynch
27:18and the answer is James Lynch wonder Connacht we're back the let's have your
27:28next question well Amy Connor here I'm with the two
27:32Fergals you're with the two Johnnies one chronic last one the junior championship
27:36in 1976 against Banya a question for you today is whose cows are those whose
27:46cows are they out the back of the GA field right it is own Brodie's cows own
27:52Brodie's cows yes right well let's find out if you're right and answer is the
27:57Brodie's
28:02Tyg we're starting with Nurnie here we go here's your question hi Tyg Gillian here
28:06from the shop can you tell us which local farmer sells us these potatoes
28:13no Tyg that's Gillian from the shop no need for first names the shop I like how I like how you're all in Nurnie
28:22too much hardship to name the shop it's just the shop who produces them spuds
28:29John Byrne John Byrne okay all right John Byrne
28:33you said let's find out if you're all right and the answer is the burns
28:49okay Ashley let's go back to Khalidi for your next question hi Ashley Margaret and Mike here we're here in
28:56the shop in the shop in the shop in the shop and Margaret has a question for you
29:00Ashley what year did my mother open the shop
29:02I think it's the 50s I'm between 53 or 54 one give it a go 54 1954 okay let's go back to
29:24Dexter's laboratory and find out and the answer is 1953
29:32day
29:40Jake you ready just to go up now let's go to the premier county for our next question
29:45Hi Jake, Andy here, with Firmacool's two hounds, but last Thursday evening, this hound here, Pepe, had a big birthday party in Palmuca.
29:59Your father was there with many others, he had a cheesecake, the lads had a sponge cake, but what age was Pepe?
30:07OK, the question is, what age was Pepe the dog last week?
30:12I wasn't invited, that was it.
30:13I didn't even get to collect the fatter, that was it.
30:19That dog's fair old.
30:2316.
30:25That's a fair age, let's go back to Andy and find out if you're right.
30:29Hi Jake, I hope you got it right, or you'll be in trouble the next evening, but Mr Pepe celebrated his 16th birthday.
30:36It's a draw lads, which means we need a tiebreaker, right, can we get Davy Russell to give us a hand with this tiebreaker?
30:46Davy Russell.
30:47This is a tough quiz, lads.
30:48It is a tough quiz.
30:49Well, you see, you're not from those parishes.
30:50I'm not.
30:511953 and 1954, do you know what I mean?
30:52No, it's a hard one.
30:53OK, lads, so our question is, Davy Russell, champion jockey, all his life had to be on top of his weight in order to race. Our question is, now he's retired, what weight is he?
31:09Do you have a weight in skills?
31:10No, please.
31:11Tyg and Nerny, to the nearest kg, what weight would you say, Davy? He's laying him up and down, it's crazy.
31:21What's your reckon, Tyg?
31:23His hindquarters are, have a good look at him now.
31:29What would you put on him, Tyg?
31:33Eh, 88kg.
31:3988kg.
31:40What's that in all money?
31:42I don't know.
31:43I don't know what that is in all money.
31:4488kg.
31:45Ashley?
31:46Oh, it's pure sat in the dark.
31:47I'd say 85kg.
31:49OK, she's meant for a little less than 85.
31:52Well, here's the moment of truth, Davy.
31:54We're back in the weigh room.
31:56Oh, I mean, like, with or without clothes?
31:59We'll be back after the break.
32:02Yeah, we'll close.
32:03We'll leave on the clothes.
32:04Oh, just hop up a minute, she'll work away.
32:05What'll she?
32:06Yeah, OK.
32:07Including the boots, 88kg, which means Tyg is the winner.
32:15Hey!
32:16Hey!
32:17Hey!
32:18Hey!
32:19Hey!
32:20Hey!
32:21Hey!
32:22Hey!
32:23Hey!
32:24Now, here is the moment of truth, OK?
32:26In one of these envelopes is an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas!
32:31now also in there okay is a bag of spuds from the shop
32:39which envelope are you going to take Ty what's it going to be in one of them is the trip to
32:44Vegas and the other is the bag of spuds we're going with this one you're going with that one
32:48closest to you okay Ty open her up and let us know you're dead right bless yourself I'd be fingers
32:53cross you Ty what's it going to be a bag of spuds
32:56thanks give it up for playing and acting
33:01free from desire
33:09mind and senses purify free from desire
33:13mind and senses purify free from desire
33:17mind and senses purify free from desire
33:20now ladies and gentlemen you may not know this and we don't like to bring it up too often but
33:41tip one the all-ireland
33:43yeah
33:45oh pick that carlo
33:47yeah
33:49and tonight in the bar is a very important guest
33:52can I make my way down please if you don't mind ladies and gentlemen
33:55sorry how are you what's your name you're not our guest but thank you
33:58not you and the good Kenny jersey either lads
34:01because if you don't mind right here behind you all all evening has been
34:04the Liam McArthur
34:07yes
34:10now
34:12Tipperary we're lucky enough to win it this year but only ten counties have ever won the hurling all-ireland championship
34:20and had the chance to climb those hallowed steps and make the famous speech
34:24so we thought we'd let some counties who have never won the all-ireland
34:28some people here in the audience might like to lift it
34:32like I see a whole mix of jerseys where you guys from?
34:35Baltimore, America
34:37Baltimore have never won it?
34:39right
34:41is say for example is there anyone here from Tyrone?
34:45yeah
34:46okay let's go have a chat
34:49this this this should go well I think
34:54okay who's from Tyrone?
34:55who's from Tyrone?
34:56Tyrone have never won the Liam McArthur have they?
34:59that's right I know
35:00well would you like the chance now to lift the cup and make a speech?
35:02jeez I'd love it eh
35:03okay
35:04are you ready so in your own time ready?
35:06I'm well
35:07ooooooooh
35:08who would you like to thank?
35:13jeez I'd like to thank my whole family and all the good people at Trelican
35:17especially my uncle Rodney Kelly a big inspiration for me
35:20no this is this is unbelievable never thought I'd lift this thing in my life
35:26thanks very much
35:29give it up for Tyrone everybody
35:34back to you Johnny Smacks
35:36thank you John now as Johnny B said only 10 counties have won the Lee McCarthy Cup
35:40one of those counties have won it since 1998
35:44I am of course talking about Offaly
35:47Neil do you remember the summer of 1998?
35:50shut your face
35:52yes it was brilliant absolutely brilliant
35:54first team to be knocked out and still win it
35:56when it got in the back door
35:57the way all Offaly people like to do it
36:01that sounded weird when I had done it too
36:04I'm from Rosgray so right on the border
36:06yeah occupied Offaly
36:07occupied Offaly
36:08yeah
36:09so you know I'm always kind of giving Offaly a ribbon
36:11but I think it's it's time that
36:13you know we get the Lee McCarthy over
36:15give it to an Offaly man
36:16oh yes please
36:17I think it's only fair now
36:18would you like to see Neil Delamere lift the Lee McCarthy Cup
36:19I don't know about this
36:22for the bite of Offaly
36:24come on what about Carlo?
36:25I don't know if I can do this John
36:30there's a good chance
36:31there's a good chance I may not be able to show me face around Rosgrave for a while
36:34but Neil Delamere
36:35you've surely practiced this in the mirror as a young fella
36:37no I knew I was so shite
36:39I didn't get anyone here
36:40I'd like to thank my uncle Rodney Kelly
36:45he's he moved down from Tyrone
36:47and this is why we won
36:48can I do the speech I would make
36:50oh lads it's listen it's customary in this position
36:53we want to say hip hip array to the losing team
36:57but it was Kilkenny and you can't beat those fuckers by enough so
37:00oh blue it is a lovely colour
37:17till it gets the second dip
37:19that's the way with the outland's courting
37:21you'll never know when you take a fit
37:23madam I'm a darling a diro did a row
37:26oh madam I'm a darling a diro day
37:29oh madam I have gold and silver
37:31madam I have tracks of land
37:34madam I have ships in the ocean
37:36all I'm missing is a fine young man
37:38madam I'm a darling a diro did a row
37:41oh madam I'm a darling a diro day
37:43oh going to the well for water
37:46washing it around for to make some tay
37:48he fell over I fell under
37:50all of the game was above the net
37:52madam I'm a darling a diro did a row
37:55oh madam I'm a darling a diro day
37:58oh madam you can tie my garter
38:00tie it up above my knee
38:02if you want you can tie it further
38:05madam I'm a darling a diro day
38:07oh madam I'm a darling a diro did a row
38:10oh madam I'm a darling a diro day
38:12oh madam I'm a darling a diro did a row
38:15Oh
38:27The personality of an animal to what kind of person they should do it. It's not diet or relate again with animals
38:31We're wondering if you could describe we've got an animal here for you. Yeah, this is Gujon who is a five-year-old golden retriever
38:45I mean what kind of person owns a Gujon?
38:49Well, the person who should own a golden retriever is someone that likes to walk and someone who's active because a lot of dogs are
38:54Rehomed because people get a cockapoo and they live in a fucking flat
38:58So I would think of quite active person that likes walking. Yeah, we've got another dog for you here
39:03Yeah, this is Ted Hastings who was a four-year-old golden doodle. Yeah, you know, what kind of a person owns him?
39:10Well, that would probably be an old lady or an elderly gay man
39:16We can tell you there are two dogs
39:22The question is which Johnny owns which dog?
39:27Who's been doing more walking?
39:31It's impossible to tell isn't it?
39:34Golden retriever. Yeah, that's my Gujon. Yeah, golden doodle. I am of course
39:38He's going to one. He's going to one. He's going to one.
39:40I am of course an heavenly gamer
39:41So we have a series of pictures which show you at your absolute peak, so we thought we'd play a game. Are you up for this?
39:50Yeah. Okay, it's called Game Face where you have to tell us which event you are participating in just going from your facial expressions
39:58Let's have a look at your first picture
40:02It has to be long jump because I always put the worst faces to a long jump surely
40:06You reckon it's long jump?
40:07If I do that in any other event that's really embarrassing
40:10Let's find out if it is long jump
40:12Let's have a look at another photo Cain, now
40:24I know it instantly as well
40:25Could have been a really big curry
40:31What do you reckon Cain?
40:32Has to be the shot put
40:33The shot put
40:34Has to be
40:35This is me trying to do maths
40:36Right let's find out if it is the shot put
40:39It is
40:45Let's have one more
40:46Let's have a look
40:47Okay
40:48I know it again
40:49It's a long jump
40:50Has to be like
40:51Okay, let's have a look
40:52Is it the long jump?
40:53Has to be
40:54It is you long jumping over the lift
41:00So we're going to show you some pictures
41:02This is the view you would have had
41:04When you were riding these horses winning races
41:06Did I?
41:07Are these horses did I ride?
41:08Yes
41:09Okay
41:10So let's have a look at horse number one
41:12No way
41:13No way
41:14No way
41:15I didn't ride that horse
41:17It's got a double bridle on
41:19No way
41:20You did?
41:21That's one of yours
41:22That's one of yours
41:23That's one of yours
41:24Yeah
41:25There's no one denying it now
41:27I know they don't all look the same when you see the photos
41:29That's one of yours
41:33That's one of yours
41:34Yeah
41:35They don't all look the same from behind Davey
41:37Right Davey
41:38Look
41:39You rode this horse
41:40Who is it?
41:41Sam Crow
41:42Max
41:43Well Davey
41:44Let's find out if you're right
41:45It is Sam Crow
41:46Yay
41:47That's fucking gay
41:48That's amazing
41:50Okay we've got another one
41:52Yeah yeah we've got another
41:53Okay Davey
41:54Here's a look at horse number two
41:56No that is a that is I would say a harder one
42:01Very hairy
42:04No I
42:06No you did
42:07These are
42:08They're all horses
42:09We know you did
42:10They're all horses you rode
42:11Right
42:12I
42:13I
42:14Don't know that horse no
42:15Take a guess
42:16If it's um
42:18Field or
42:19It's not Irish point
42:21Oh good horse
42:22Yeah
42:23It was my last winner
42:25Yeah
42:26Your last winner
42:27My last winner
42:28Good horse him
42:29Okay
42:30Let's have a look at one more
42:32One more
42:33One more
42:34Ah the man himself is it
42:36What are you saying
42:37What are you saying
42:38Is that the tiger
42:39It is tiger oil
42:44What is he
42:45Good horse
42:46Good horse
42:47Good horse
42:48Good horse
42:49Your man still gives out
42:50About your fashion choices
42:51From time to time
42:52I mean is it fair to say
42:53She's trolling you a bit
42:54When I'm she is my ultimate troll
42:56I had to ban her from texting me
42:58When I'm live on television
43:00Cause it was
43:01Oh state of your hair
43:02Jesus
43:03Bit heavy with the make up
43:04Bit heavy with the make up this morning
43:06Do you think that
43:07Do you think that shirt is right
43:08Oh my god are you pregnant
43:09Did you forget to tell me
43:10And this is just
43:11Wait in the middle of the show
43:12In the middle of
43:13Like it will start at 7
43:14And it will not stop until 10
43:16So I had to ban her
43:17We have some of the messages
43:18That your ma'am has sent you
43:19Oh no
43:20She's got out
43:21This is for you
43:22The hair is a big page
43:25Can't see your face with your hair
43:26With your hair
43:27Yeah
43:28So this is in the middle of the show
43:29You might check your forehead
43:307.40 in the morning
43:3120 to 8
43:32I've been on air for 40 minutes
43:33We have another one here
43:34Hair lovely but you're very pale
43:36Very pale
43:38It's not the time Mary
43:39We're living in different times
43:41Mary's on fire
43:428.19
43:43We've got another one here
43:44Hate that blouse mirror
43:45Bin bin
43:46Bin bin
43:49And I think this is my personal favourite
43:51Love your jumper
43:52TV tree
43:53Keep showing your spanks
43:54We've wondered like what it's like to get hit by a professional boxer
43:59Yeah
44:00And thankfully Johnny V has said he's willing
44:02To get hit by a professional boxer so
44:06So
44:07So
44:08I mean
44:09Would you
44:10This one's not that potted
44:12Good
44:13Good
44:14Good
44:15It is
44:16Give it to me
44:17Fucking give it to me
44:18Give it to me
44:19You sound like that yeah
44:20Sorry
44:21I'll get it wrong
44:22Oh
44:23You see it
44:24Oh
44:25Oh
44:26Oh
44:27Oh
44:28Oh
44:29Oh
44:31Oh
44:32Oh
44:33Oh
44:34Oh
44:35Oh
44:36Oh
44:37Oh
44:38Oh
44:39Oh
44:40Oh
44:41Oh
44:42Oh
44:43Oh
45:06Oh
45:07Oh
45:08Oh
45:09Oh
45:10Oh
45:11...
45:12Oh
45:13Just action, it's action to maniacs!
45:18All right.
45:21Let's do this.
45:28She walked her busted after that night, she was dressed and killed.
45:31She was a sexy lady, she had to get her thrill.
45:35How did she get him, how did she know?
45:37All the mutants, defeat the temple, she was wrong for that night.
45:40She was sick for the fight.
45:41She said, greetings.
45:43Hold tight with a new chair.
45:44Hold tight with the mic in the left hand.
45:45It's me, I won't find the booting.
45:47Are you ready now?
45:48Go to the rooms, now life.
45:49It has no meaning.
45:50Are you ready now?
45:51Move to the madness.
45:52I'm calling back to you.
45:54We bring this group to you.
45:57Are you ready now?
45:59Move to the groove.
46:00Put your hands up in the air.
46:02One super question to ask you.
46:05Are you ready?
46:09Go to the groove.
46:12Go to the groove.
46:13Go to the groove.
46:15All right.
46:16And I'll say she goes dancing in the house.
46:18Come on.
46:19Let's hear you see.
46:20She's a maniac.
46:22She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
46:27Sing it.
46:28And she's dancing.
46:29And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:33Right here on the two Johnnies dance floor.
46:35She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
46:40Sing it.
46:41And she's dancing.
46:42And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:46The crowd tonight.
46:47Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
46:49She said put your hands in the air.
46:50Yeah-yeah.
46:51Side to side like you just don't care.
46:52Everybody in the house on the party night, scream all back to me.
46:55I'm the a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
46:57She's a maniac, a maniac on the floor.
46:59And she's dancing.
47:00And she's dancing like she never do before.
47:02She's a maniac, the maniac on the floor
47:08And she's dancing, and she's dancing like she never did before
47:14The Grand Sly!
47:18A huge thank you to everyone here in Swan's Bar tonight
47:25And thank you to all of our guests throughout the series
47:27And thank you at home for watching
47:28Now for a very special performance from Dan McCabe
47:31Playing Grace
47:32We'll see you soon
47:33Bye-bye-bye-bye
47:34Bye-bye-bye
47:39We gather in the chapel here
47:43In old main home jail
47:47We think about the last few weeks
47:52Oh, where they say we feel
47:56From our school days
47:58They have told us
48:00We must earn liberty
48:04We'll all I want
48:07In this sterile place
48:09As do you have
48:11You heal me
48:12Oh, grace
48:17Just hold me in your arms
48:20And let this moment linger
48:23You'll take me out
48:26You'll take me out
48:27The dark
48:28And I will die
48:30With all my love
48:35I place this wedding ring
48:38Upon your finger
48:40With all your fingers
48:41There won't be time
48:42There won't be time
48:43To share
48:45And love
48:46For me
48:47The same
48:48Oh, grace
48:53Just hold me
48:55In your arms
48:57And let this moment linger
48:59To linger
49:00They'll take me out
49:01And let this moment linger
49:02They'll take me out
49:03The dark
49:04And I will die
49:06With all my love
49:08With all my love
49:10I place this wedding ring
49:12Upon your finger
49:14Where won't be time
49:16To share and love
49:18For we will say goodbye
49:31There won't be time
49:32To share and love
49:36For we will say goodbye
49:41You
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