Cutting Off Family on Christmas | Faith, Boundaries, and Healing - video Dailymotion

Douglas Vandergraph

Cutting off family on Christmas is rarely discussed with compassion, yet millions experience it quietly every year. This faith-based inspirational message speaks to those navigating grief, distance, and healing during the holiday season.   Dailymotion audiences engage deeply with reflective, emotionally honest content—and this message is built for that space. It explores how faith and boundaries can coexist, how Jesus understood family rejection, and why choosing peace is not a spiritual failure.   Christmas is often portrayed as joyful unity, but the biblical story reveals something deeper: God enters broken systems without shame. Jesus was born into instability, misunderstanding, and danger—and that reality offers hope to those who feel isolated today.   This message is for:  • People spending Christmas alone  • Believers recovering from family trauma  • Anyone questioning whether boundaries dishonor God  • Those seeking quiet, faith-centered healing   You are not forgotten.  You are not disqualified.  And your story is not over.   #ChristmasHealing  #FaithBasedMessage  #CuttingOffFamily  #ChristianReflection  #EmotionalRestoration  #HolidayEncouragement  #JesusUnderstands  #SpiritualHealing   https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph   https://www.buymeacoffee.com/douglasvandergraph

Transcript

00:00So, the Van de Graaff family has already opened presents this morning.

00:06It was very simple this year.

00:08It was probably one of our better Christmases as a result.

00:12You know, this Christmas, it's just going to be us.

00:15My wife, me, and my two daughters.

00:19We're not going to be going anywhere, traveling anywhere,

00:23or being a part of any traditional extracurricular family activities this year.

00:30And that's just a choice that we have made.

00:33But, you know, it brought me to the point where I thought I should put together a message

00:40for the people who are not surrounded by laughter and noise and family traditions this year.

00:49So, this one, this one is for the people sitting in the quiet.

00:55For the ones who didn't travel.

00:58For the ones who didn't answer the call.

01:02For the ones who stared at the calendar this year and felt the weight of a decision they never wanted to make.

01:10But had to.

01:13For the people who cut off contact with their families.

01:17And if that's you, I want to begin here.

01:23You didn't wake up one day wanting distance.

01:27You woke up one day realizing closeness was costing you your soul.

01:33And that matters.

01:35Because I think there's a lie that shows up every Christmas.

01:40Whispering that family is sacred no matter what.

01:45That endurance equals righteousness.

01:48That silence is love.

01:51But Jesus never taught that.

01:55Jesus taught truth.

01:58Jesus taught freedom.

02:01Jesus taught that love does not crush the human spirit.

02:06It restores it.

02:07And Christmas has a way of intensifying pain we've learned to manage the rest of the year.

02:17It drags old memories to the surface.

02:20It revives old roles.

02:23It brings back expectations we worked hard to escape.

02:28And suddenly, even peace feels like something we have to defend.

02:34Some of you are grieving today.

02:38Not because you hate your family.

02:42But because you still love them.

02:47You're grieving what should have been.

02:50You're grieving the parents who you hoped would change.

02:55You're grieving siblings who chose silence over honesty.

03:02You're grieving the version of Christmas you never got to have.

03:08And that grief?

03:10That grief is real.

03:13And God does not minimize it.

03:16Jesus understood family fracture more deeply than we often admit.

03:22You see, the Gospels tell us his own family misunderstood him.

03:28They questioned his calling.

03:31They doubted his identity.

03:34And at one point, they thought he had lost his mind.

03:39Jesus knows what it feels like to love people who cannot meet you where God is leading you.

03:47And here's what's important.

03:49Jesus never abandoned truth to preserve access.

03:56He loved deeply.

03:57But he didn't submit to distortion.

04:01He forgave freely.

04:04But he didn't hand himself over to those who refused to see him clearly.

04:11Scripture tells us he did not entrust himself to everyone.

04:18And that sentence matters for you today.

04:23Because some of you were taught that forgiveness requires unlimited access.

04:29It doesn't.

04:31Forgiveness heals the heart.

04:34Boundaries protect the soul.

04:38And God, well, God cares about both.

04:41And some of you didn't leave your family because of one argument.

04:48You left because of patterns.

04:51Cycles.

04:53Years of dismissal, control, manipulation, or emotional harm.

05:00You didn't walk away impulsively.

05:03You walked away prayerfully.

05:08Tearfully.

05:09After trying everything you knew how to try.

05:14And Christmas can make you question that decision.

05:19You wonder if you're dishonoring God.

05:22If you're failing some spiritual test.

05:25If you should just go back for one day.

05:32But let me remind you of something sacred.

05:36Jesus never asked anyone to return to a place that would undo the work God was doing in them.

05:44He asked people to leave nets, leave tables, leave cities, leave old identities.

05:54And sometimes, obedience looks like separation.

06:00And Christmas reminds us that even the Holy Family had to separate to survive.

06:08Now, Jesus, he wasn't born into comfort as we know.

06:12He was born into risk.

06:16And Mary faced public shame.

06:20Joseph faced suspicion.

06:24And they had fled violence to protect their child.

06:28From the very beginning, the Christmas story included distance for safety.

06:34So, if you're alone today, you are not outside the story.

06:42You are standing in one of the most honest chapters of the Bible.

06:47Some of you are carrying guilt today.

06:52Guilt for choosing yourself.

06:55Guilt for choosing peace.

06:58Guilt for breaking generational expectations.

07:02But hear this clearly.

07:07God does not confuse self-preservation with selfishness.

07:13Jesus said the greatest commandment includes loving your neighbor as yourself.

07:19Not instead of yourself.

07:22Not at the expense of yourself.

07:24You cannot love well if you are constantly bleeding.

07:32And God does not ask his children to bleed endlessly to prove loyalty.

07:39Christmas is not about endurance.

07:44It's about incarnation.

07:47God coming close.

07:49Not to fix everything instantly.

07:52But to dwell with us in the brokenness.

07:57Emmanuel means God with us.

08:02Not God rushing us.

08:05Or God shaming us.

08:07And not God demanding reconciliation on unsafe terms.

08:13God with you.

08:16Right now.

08:17Right here.

08:19Even in the quiet.

08:21Now, some of you are sitting in homes that feel empty today.

08:27But empty does not mean abandoned.

08:30Silence does not mean failure.

08:34Sometimes silence is where healing finally has room to breathe.

08:40Jesus.

08:42Jesus often withdrew to quiet places.

08:45Not because he was weak.

08:48But because he was wise.

08:50And if today feels like exile, remember this.

08:56Exile is where identity becomes clear.

09:02It's where faith stops being inherited.

09:06And becomes chosen.

09:08It's where God begins rebuilding.

09:11Not what was broken.

09:14But what was never safe to begin with.

09:18You are not being punished.

09:21You are being protected.

09:24You are not failing God.

09:26You are learning to walk with him honestly.

09:29And here is the hope I want you to carry into this Christmas, 2025.

09:37God builds family in more than one way.

09:41Jesus redefined family around shared love, shared truth, shared obedience.

09:51He called disciples brothers.

09:55He welcomed outsiders.

09:58He created belonging where bloodlines failed.

10:02God is doing something holy in the quiet, something strong, something lasting.

10:18So, today, release the voice that says, you ruined Christmas.

10:26Yes, you didn't.

10:28You chose life.

10:30You chose healing.

10:32You chose to stop sacrificing yourself to keep others comfortable.

10:40And Jesus, well, Jesus stands with you.

10:44Not disappointed, not distant, but near, gentle, steady, faithful.

10:57And this Christmas, you don't need to explain yourself.

11:01You don't need to go back.

11:04You don't need to perform peace.

11:07Just receive this truth.

11:11Jesus was born for the wounded, for the misunderstood, for the ones who had to walk away to stay alive.

11:22And he calls you loved.

11:26Merry Christmas to you, my friend.

11:30God bless you.

11:37Merry Christmas to you, my friend.

Cutting Off Family on Christmas | Faith, Boundaries, and Healing

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