- 6 days ago
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CreativityTranscript
00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Mr. Brown?
00:48Ah, hello, Ms. Courtney.
00:50Why are you creeping about?
00:51Well, I didn't want to disturb you.
00:53Very considerate.
00:54And perhaps you wouldn't mind creeping into the office for a moment.
00:57I want a word with you.
01:00you may sit
01:02now mr brown the other evening after everyone had gone
01:09i went into the gentleman's toilet i'm sure that was a perfectly natural mistake
01:13i went because the caretaker had complained about the graffiti on the walls
01:18mr brown it is just not good enough i don't know i thought some of it was rather witty
01:23it was disgusting someone had written enoch powell rules okay
01:29yes well with all due respect i'd hardly call that disgusting
01:33it was what was written underneath that i found most objectionable
01:36oh what was that miss courtney is crackers
01:41yes well it may not have been one of my students who was responsible
01:44there certainly was how can you be so sure
01:46who else but a foreigner would spell crackers k-r-a-double-k-e-r-s
01:51well i'll see it doesn't happen again there's just one more thing mr brown
01:55yes miss courtney in a few weeks time your students will be sitting for their
01:59lower cambridge certificate yes and we're all looking forward to it i'm sure we're
02:02all going to pass with flying colors you have more faith in them than i have
02:06now here is a set of last year's examination papers i suggest this evening that you set
02:11them a mock exam and see how good or otherwise they are
02:17closer close up it's all right very good don't forget to be getting my turban in
02:27smile please
02:30now who want picture yes please one for my brother
02:41two for me awesome one for me please me too you two of our two one two one one two for me please
03:00that is i am meaning one two as well not one two one i like also to be having one for me
03:12and one for my mother one for my father one for my brother one for my sister one for my uncle and
03:18one for my auntie and one for his donkey
03:22stickies and stoneys may break my bonies but the names will never be hurting me you clever monkey
03:27seven o'clock correcto
03:31your book danielle thank you max it's all right your handbag just a minute
03:36hey next time you carry the handbag huh no i think it suit you more
03:42hey give me a kiss your handbag thank you giovanni you just missed it we are having our photographs
03:52taken by taro taro i would very much like you to take a photograph of me hey i take your picture
03:59you have not the camera sure i got the camera at home you come back with me after the class and we
04:04take lots of pictures and then we can see what develops hey what you say i say no
04:12you want a picture in classroom yes how about here
04:22bellissima morfo magnifica hey higher excuse please no more higher
04:29you are giving me naughty tarts me too but i'm liking them very much
04:35now i take her ready ready no good no good you must be joking she's beautiful
04:46two clothes can get you know top half or bottom but you are not taking her bottom
04:55just take the head and the shoulders yeah you can take one of the legs for me after okay
05:00very good ready ready look at the camera
05:11what's going on here oh i'm having my photograph taken really very nice
05:17can you do me a big favor what sort of favor i would like to have a photograph taken with you yes i
05:22don't think we've got time for that sort of thing oh please it's for my mother and father
05:27i've told them all about you and they would love to have a photo yes well
05:31all right you sit here yeah what about you i'll sit on your knees
05:46you sure this is for your parents of course really look at the camera
05:51we were having our photograph taken i was not aware that photography was included in the curriculum
06:01uh yes well would you all sit down please and uh danielle would you stand up
06:06but what about our photo yeah we'll see about that later all right go sit down
06:10it was for her parents i
06:12i just came to bring you the answers to last year's examination papers thank you huh
06:23i hope i didn't get you into trouble i'll survive right now before we do anything else i want all
06:27the male students to write down the word crackers on a piece of paper crackers yes i want to find out
06:33how you spell it you don't know how to spell it yes i do but i want to see if you do hockey
06:44ah so it was you please you wrote this on the wall of the gent's toilet squeeze please i'm not writing
06:51anything on the wall of the toilet all right and how do you account for the fact that you've spelt
06:55crackers k r a double k e r s whereas you looked at everybody else's paper you will discover that they
07:02have spelt it well at least you're all consistent right in future please no more writing on walls
07:08now pay attention in a few weeks time you will all be sitting for your examinations that is good much
07:14better to be sitting for examination than standing i'll rephrase that in a few weeks time you will
07:20all be taking your lower cambridge certificate and to find out how you're progressing we are going to
07:24have a mock exam that is to say an imaginary one right during the second half of the lesson i want
07:31to see how many you can answer to find out your strengths and weaknesses you can study the
07:36questions during the tea break i would rather be studying the answers i'm sure you would right now
07:42firstly have you all done your homework good well we'll see how well you've done juan
07:48for favor yeah for answer did you give to question one explain what is wrong with the following sentence
07:55the cows was in the field ah momentito the cows was not in the field
08:04no one that is not the correct answer the cows was in another field cows were in the field i didn't see
08:19them all right now ranji question two name the three classes of gender and give an example of each
08:28thousand apologies but i answered that question is nothing you mean you haven't answered the question
08:34that is the gift of what i am saying i am not comprehending the meaning of the word gender gender is the
08:41grammatical classification of the sex of proper nouns but you are learning about english not about sex
08:47you cannot learn sex from books you ever have it or you don't have it i have it i know all about sex me too
09:00so may i remind you that we're not here to discuss sex why not it is very interesting subject
09:08yes i'm aware of that but there's a time and a place for everything you tell me the time and
09:12the place and i shall be there please can we get back to the matter of your homework ranjeet the word
09:19gender refers to whether or not a proper noun is masculine or feminine now i'm understanding and
09:25what is the other other one gender there are three classes of gender one is masculine one is feminine and
09:31the other is
09:38sully yes mr blount question three give the feminine of the following lion lioness yeah lioness
09:47ryaness no le le r you're not saying it right fairly solid i know try saying ryaness lioness good
09:56well in future every time you see an l pretend it's an r right anna yeah feminine of duke duke s
10:07duchess jamila g now be careful the feminine of monkey monkey s no no no the feminine of monkey
10:19is monkey there is no difference between masculine and feminine squeeze please you are mistaken
10:24i am seeing them in the zoo and there is a very good difference
10:30i am referring to the word itself not their physical appearance
10:35ali yes please question four explain what is wrong with the following sentence waiter
10:41i would like some chops of pork waiter i would not like some chops of pork
10:47no early that's not right yes please it is against my religion to be eating pork
10:54the word pork is immaterial how do you feel about lamb oh blimey i like lamb very much right
10:59let us suppose that the question read waiter i would like some chops of lamb what is wrong with that
11:04i should be asking for minty sauce i should be asking for lamb chops not chops of lamb jelly good thanks
11:13question five quite a hard one this construct a sentence using the word indisposition sure
11:22every saturday i play football and i am being the goalie keeper because i like playing in this position
11:34silence look this is no laughing matter if your present standard is anything to go by
11:37you haven't a chance of passing your exams well i suggest you all take an early tea break
11:42study those questions and let's hope that you show some signs of intelligence
11:45otherwise we might as well stop wasting each other's time
11:56hey max
11:59the professori is a mad at us sure we must do good with these questions yeah we got to get every
12:05question right how we do that i've got an idea professori he's got the answers right so
12:13so we get them from him he's not going to give them to us he don't have to we steal at them
12:33there you are dearie thank you thank you who's next me please oh tea or coffee hot water
12:50hot water yes please i bring my own tea bag
12:56you can't do that but i'm already doing it
13:00i'm starting economy right but that tea bag's already being used most definitely i'm making
13:07three cups of tea out of one tea baggy well i'm sorry you can't make your own tea oh blimey then
13:14i'm not having any at all next who's next buenas noches my little flower how beautiful you look tonight
13:23just like a madonna are you talking to me okay no no whatever it is you're after it's nothing
13:34huh well maybe just one little tea uh you see uh i am uh i am a little tall with the money
13:46i pay for the coffee tomorrow no no no money no coffee
13:50ah ah reggie you are my friend my amigo you lend me 10 pence i'm only having 10 p
13:59sorry
14:06ah thank you hey you are taking my last 10 p you my very good friend
14:12coffee please i'm not having any money you're not having any coffee
14:25can you be lending me 10 p
14:29yes okay thousand thank yous but i'm making one condition what is that
14:35i want to hear you say all muslims are nice kind and most wonderful persons
14:42if i am saying that you'll be lending me 10 p if you are saying that i will be giving you 10 p
14:49very well all muslims are nice kind and wonderful persons jolly good
14:54there's only one thing what please oh six are very big liars
15:04now listen everybody because this is very important what's the matter now he's about the
15:09test we have yeah we gotta do good otherwise we're all in the minestrone in the soup that's right now
15:17we have the plan what plan we pinch the answers that is cheating that's right i do not cheat perhaps
15:26the exam is not too bad maybe we can answer the question okay yeah it's not too difficult let's have
15:34a look question one construct sentences using the following types of clauses
15:40a verbal clause of time noun clauses object of preposition and main clause coordinate with first
15:50well anna how will we steal the answers mr brown your students have been at it again oh it's not
15:59more graffiti no not this time read this young virile male student wishes to meet nice lady from
16:04cookery class for evenings of mutual pleasure apply maximilian papandrios
16:07kindly inform mr papandrios that the notice board is for official notices and not for procuring
16:14young women right i'm sure his intentions were quite innocent evenings of mutual pleasure yes well
16:20probably only wanting her to whip up an omelette well tell him to whip up his own omelettes
16:26right i'll have a word with him see that you do your coffee miss courtney thank you glad
16:32oh by the way mr brown how is the mock examination coming along oh we haven't started it yet we're going
16:37to get cracking just as soon as we finished our tea break well i do hope that the results will be
16:41good otherwise i should have to think about axing the course axing the course you wouldn't do that
16:46surely i most certainly would it would be a complete waste of time for them to carry on and sit for an
16:51examination they have no hope of passing thank you gladys well that's it i've had it well i didn't
17:00think your class was as bad as that oh they are at the moment oh i'm sure that when the time comes
17:04they'll pull through with flying colors but right at the moment the only thing they like to get right
17:07on the test paper is their names and even that's doubtful well you'll have to help them with the
17:11answers well give them the answers yeah not exactly give them to them just leave them lying around
17:17where they can see them that is cheating no not exactly it's not as though it's a real exam
17:22i mean you said yourself they come out with flying colors
17:26ah it's a pity if the course has to be cancelled all because of failing a mock exam
17:32but you know best
17:51it's much too obvious
17:52how we steal the answers i know first we hit him on head that's no good we make too much mess
18:07we've got to get him out of the class how we do that i don't know hey let's all think
18:13studying hard not be sorry you're here yes sit down have a cup of tea have two cups of tea we'll be
18:28back max yeah well just a minute max and i want to work with you me yeah i believe that this uh this
18:33notice is yours sure yeah well i'm afraid that miss courtney will not allow you to have that on the notice
18:39board okay as a point of interest did anybody from the cookery class respond sure she was beautiful
18:46we had a fantastic time never before i had such a time really what does she cook for you cook we had
18:52a takeaway where are you going we got to spend two p well the phrase is spend a penny sure i spend a penny
19:02he spent a penny you won't uh go near the classroom i hope no professor only see i just uh left the
19:10answers on my desk and i wouldn't want you to be uh looking at them and copying them down would we do
19:17that max no that would be cheating mr brown wouldn't it hurry up yeah nearly finish all right you're
19:37looking mr brown in the classroom no mr brown is in the tea room down the corridor and on your left
19:47i am familiar with the geography of this building sure would you mind moving what for i wish to enter
19:54the classroom but mr brown is in the tea room so you have already told me but i wish to wait for him
19:59in the classroom okay miss courtney you want to go into the classroom miss courtney i will open the door
20:07for you miss courtney i am not deaf
20:17oh mr capello all ready for taking your exam sure all ready good oh miss courtney did you want me
20:25no i just thought that i would supervise the class during their mock examination yes well
20:30there's no need to do that i'm quite capable of doing it myself mr brown when the students take
20:34their real exam you will not be allowed to stay in the classroom never mind supervise
20:39it's a precaution against any attempt to cheat cheat yes it has been known in the past for an
20:45over enthusiastic teacher to provide his students with the answers really how contemptible
20:50now ladies and gentlemen you have exactly one hour to complete this paper starting from now excuse me
20:58please miss courtney yes can i spend the penny please all right but hurry you don't need to take your
21:05exercise book with you do just maybe i think of an answer so i write it down
21:10well come along mr nadine yes please where do you go along to
21:26we are not going along to anywhere i just want you to get started on the answers i'll do my best
21:31excuse me please yes toilet please very well but don't be long
21:44ah here are the answers i put them in my book already good i put them in my book hey i go tell ali
21:49ranjit one and darrow then the girls okay hey we pretty smart days sure we have no trouble with this exam
22:01i'll be very quick
22:13would you like to go to the toilet mr brown no no not at all everyone else has been yes well it's
22:20probably the cold weather
22:24you have another five minutes miss smith i'm finished oh good then i'll take a book
22:28i'll take them thank you thank you thank you thank you very much thank you
22:40i shall take these home with me tonight and mark them personally i do hope they've done reasonably
22:46well so do i otherwise it's the axe oh blimey you're jumping his head off
22:52only metaphorically oh you have about two minutes mr not necessarily finished thank you
23:04well good night everybody
23:07i shall see you all tomorrow okay no just a minute miss courtney won't you need the answers
23:13i shan't need them mr brown however i might as well take them it might speed up the marking
23:18oh there's something the matter these are the wrong answers
23:26oh these aren't the answers to last year's paper they're the previous years
23:30i must have picked them up by mistake oh i suppose last year's answers must still be in my filing cabinet
23:39are you feeling all right mr brown you look a little peaky
23:42no no no i'm fine never felt better
23:57mr brown
24:01good evening miss courtney
24:02mr brown i marked your students examination papers last night yes well unbelievable i can
24:12explain everybody answered every question correctly you see what happened everybody answered every
24:19question correctly good lord i told you it was unbelievable it's positively miraculous see for
24:24yourself but these are the answers you gave me last night that's correct but you said they were
24:29the previous year's answers yes but i discovered last night that i had also given you the previous
24:33year's questions congratulations mr brown your students are a credit to you
24:51uh
24:57uh
24:59uh
25:01uh
25:03uh
25:05uh
25:07uh
25:09uh
25:11uh
25:13uh
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