- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Hang on.
00:02The gold rush is all in Hazard County, and everybody wants their split.
00:05The eyes of Texas are upon you.
00:08I got a feeling these here rhinestone cowboys are trying to cover something up.
00:12You know, gold, gold.
00:15Get up! I want them greedy gold-grabbing dupes!
00:20The boys need our help. Let's get going.
00:25I can't watch.
00:27Me neither.
00:30Just a good old boy
00:36Never meaning no harm
00:39Beats all you never saw
00:44Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:47Straightening the curves
00:50Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will
00:59Making their way
01:03The only way they know how
01:06That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:12Just a good old boy
01:15Wouldn't change if they could
01:19Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:25In Hazard County, when you see the Duke boys battling along, you can bet something's cooking
01:38Cooter said Doc left town about ten minutes ago
01:40If we're gonna catch him, we'd better step on it
01:43Well, now, don't drive reckless, don't hurry on, Mike
01:46Uncle Jesse, we ain't letting another sun set without getting that toothache taken care of
01:52Well, I swear
01:54The only thing more painful than a toothache is an earache you get from listening to somebody bellyaching about his toothache
02:00You got that right
02:01Hey, there he is, straight ahead
02:02All right
02:03Hi, Jess
02:15Hi, boys
02:16Hey, Doc
02:17Pull over
02:18Uncle Jesse's got a toothache
02:19What? I can't hear you
02:21I said, he's got quite a toothache
02:24He's gotta have it looked at
02:25Now, you know, there's some people who'd rather eat a live rattlesnake head first
02:40Than to sit down in a dentist's chair
02:42And you're looking at one of them
02:44I'm going, just don't rush me
02:46Matter of fact, I could have said getting Jesse to see a dentist was like pulling teeth
02:50But I got my pride
02:52Come on, Jesse, open your mouth, don't fight me
02:59Uncle Jesse, would you please open your mouth for the nice dentist?
03:05This puts me in mind at a time when old Jess was laid up and
03:08Widow Campbell stopped by in the middle of the night
03:10Now, Luke, you can't...
03:12What was that?
03:15Just a little something to relax you
03:17You'll feel better in a minute, Jesse
03:18That wasn't fair, Luke
03:19Now, let's take a look
03:22Jesse, you got some deep cavity there
03:29Can't stop to fix it for you now, though, Jesse
03:30I got an emergency over at Spencer Creek
03:32Oh
03:32But in the meantime, I have some pain pills for you
03:35I want you to take them because you're going to need them
03:37Look, Luke, I want you to make sure he takes one of those every four hours
03:41All right
03:41Okay?
03:42No problem
03:42Jesse, I'll see you at four when I get back
03:44I'll be waiting for you
03:46Thank you, Doc
03:46You might live through this
03:49Come on
03:49Get out of the chair
03:50Well
03:51Thanks, Doc
03:55Watch your step
03:58And so Jesse and the boys headed back to the farm
04:14Now, if that's all that was going to happen this morning
04:16We could all sit back and watch the pump drip dry
04:19But that's just a warm-up to what's coming
04:21See what I mean?
04:31Nice going, Buck
04:32I heard that axle snap the instant we hit the rock
04:34That should have
04:35It took me long enough to file it down
04:37It's all right back there?
04:38Oh, I'm fine
04:39Just fine
04:40Here come the locals
04:43Let's make it look good
04:44You guys all right?
04:51No thanks to you stupid roadhogs
04:53Ah, hold on, Hoss
04:54It was you who almost crashed into us
04:56Now, what'd your buddy here do anyway?
04:58Take a correspondence course in driving?
05:00Did you hear that, Buck?
05:01They're blaming us
05:02Well, I'll take you
05:03They say blondes are more fun
05:05Buck
05:06Dusty
05:07Let's knock it off, boys
05:08Well, these two rubes wrecked our car
05:10Yeah, and it might have been delivered
05:12But how do we know word hasn't leaked out
05:13About what we're carrying?
05:14I said knock it off
05:15Ah, sorry, gentlemen
05:17I'm H.H. Hawkness from Houston
05:19I'll be more than glad to pay for any repairs to your car
05:21By the way, is there a garage in the area?
05:23Yeah, our cooter's garage in town
05:25I'll give him a holler on to CB
05:27He'll have the dragon wagon out here in no time
05:29I'm mighty obliged, gentlemen
05:31Now, boys, if you're worried about
05:32Being able to protect our cargo
05:34I think a little target practice
05:35Might be in order here
05:36Right
05:55Whatever that cargo is
05:59They're dead serious
06:00I think we best ride cooter on the CB
06:03Mr. Cooter, sir
06:04How bad is it?
06:07It's real bad
06:08If it was a horse, we'd have to shoot it
06:10You can go to ask
06:11So there's a bus to clean in, too
06:12I'm afraid it's gonna take me
06:14About a day and a half
06:14To get you another
06:15A day and a half?
06:17A day and a half
06:18Mr. Harkness
06:19What about our, uh
06:21You know
06:21Carthill?
06:23Yeah, we sure can't leave it
06:24Lying around this dump
06:25How do you boys just calm down?
06:27The sooner we get out of here
06:28The sooner this fine mechanic
06:29Can go to work
06:30Hey, it looks like an overnighter
06:31For you boys
06:32About the best we can do
06:33Is offer you the hospitality
06:35Of the Hog Hilton
06:36Hog Hilton?
06:36Sounds inviting
06:37I think I'll pass
06:38If you boys could show us
06:40The hospitality of your town bank
06:42Now, Boss Hogg
06:44Might not welcome the deuce
06:45But even if the bank was closed
06:47He'd gladly meet a grizzly bear
06:49If it had a wallet
06:49How do you do, sir?
06:51You want to meet me?
06:52It's my great pleasure
06:53Allow me to introduce myself
06:55I'm J.D. Hogg
06:57President of this
06:58Grand old banking institution
07:00Well, Mr. Hogg
07:01This here's Mr. Harkness
07:02From Texas
07:03You two boys paying moose
07:04Let's go get him out
07:06Yeah, let's
07:07You rip-rack
07:07No, not him
07:08I'm sorry about that
07:10Damn!
07:11Luke, get your
07:12Come on
07:13Come on, come on
07:14Come on, Bo
07:14We already got last year's calendar
07:16Oh, Harkness
07:17Please sit down here, sir
07:18Now then
07:20How can I be of service to you?
07:23Mr.
07:24Uh, uh, Mr.
07:26Uh, Harkness
07:27H.H. Harkness
07:28Harkness Oil
07:30Harkness Steel
07:31And, of course, Harkness Copper
07:32Well
07:33A big hello
07:34To each and every one of you
07:36I'll be staying in your town overnight
07:41Due to the fact that my limousine was wrecked
07:43And, uh, I'd like to use your bank vault
07:46For some storage, uh, for the one night
07:48I see
07:48Um, what size box would you require?
07:52A little beauty box?
07:53Medium-sized box?
07:54The whole vault
07:55Oh, the whole vault?
07:56Mm-hmm
07:57The whole vault?
08:01Well, well, well
08:03Let me see now
08:04That could be very expensive
08:06Would, uh, $25,000 cover all your expenses, sir?
08:09$25,000
08:12For the one night?
08:15Is, uh, that amount acceptable, Mr. Hark?
08:19Sir, that's not only acceptable
08:21It's accepted
08:23Oh, my, oh, my
08:30Say
08:32What have you got in there that's so valuable?
08:36A U-Haul oil well?
08:39That's funny
08:41Is that gold?
08:48I, I, I, I mean
08:50Uh, gold, gold?
08:52Twenty bars worth
08:53A hundred and fifty thousand a piece
08:55For a grand total of
08:56Three million
08:57Yeah, you've got three million dollars
09:00That's an awful lot of illegal parking tickets
09:02Roscoe
09:03Roscoe
09:04Go, go, go write someone
09:05One of them parking tickets
09:06And get lost, will you?
09:07Ooh, ooh, ooh
09:08Well, you see, sir
09:09I was, uh, transferring
09:10Some of my bullion
09:11From my Houston bank
09:13Uh-huh
09:13To the bank down in Atlanta
09:14Uh-huh
09:15I don't trust those armored cars
09:16I, I just trust my own men
09:18Uh-huh
09:18Uh-huh
09:18By the way, sir
09:19Uh, you think my gold
09:20Will be safe here?
09:21Oh, yes, sir
09:22As safe as a possum
09:24Of a mile high pine tree
09:26Then we have a deal
09:27Well, we certainly do have one, Mr., uh
09:30Uh, Mr., um
09:31Twenty-five thousand dollars
09:33For the one night
09:34Now, that was our deal
09:36Good
09:36Then sign here
09:38I'll just get the vault open
09:41And then
09:42Sign here
09:45Sign what here?
09:46Oh, it's just a promise
09:47Or a note obligates you and your bank
09:49To my three million in gold
09:50But you have my word on that, sir
09:53I'd rather have your signature, sir
09:55But my word is binding, sir
09:58Not as binding as your signature, sir
10:01You sure drive a hard bargain
10:04It was just that I had never seen gold
10:14I mean, real gold before
10:16I mean, I've seen gold
10:17I mean, I got gold
10:18I got gold in my chompers
10:21Now, can you look in there?
10:23Now, it's a lot of
10:24It is, it is, I don't know
10:26Boss is offering H.H. Harkness
10:34The use of his deluxe loan car
10:36A deluxe suite at his hotel
10:38And an invite to a deluxe lunch
10:41At the boar's nest
10:42You know, the smell of big money
10:44Could turn Boss from a hawk
10:45Into a pussycat
10:47Now, I smell a con
10:50And you smell a con
10:51Now, why do you reckon Boss can't?
10:54Ross, go
10:54Why in the world
10:56With them big boys
10:57My sworn enemies
10:58Do me such a good deed
11:00Bringing me 25,000 simoleons
11:03On a gold platter
11:04I smell something fishy
11:05Mm-hmm, that's the smell
11:07Like a fish in the sun
11:09Or
11:11Something that's just as bright and shiny
11:14That's it, Ross, go
11:16I'll hit it
11:17How you doing over there?
11:21Ooh
11:21Rosco, it's as clear as spring water
11:26Them Duke boys set this whole thing up
11:28They wrecked that limo
11:30They brought Mr., uh, Mr.
11:32The Texan
11:33Texan
11:34What's his name to the bank?
11:35Mm-hmm
11:35And they intend to get their hands
11:37On that three million in gold
11:39What are those, Stephen Duke?
11:41Ow, just
11:41Hush, hush, hush, hush
11:43Big mouth
11:44Now, listen
11:45You get out there and arrest them Duke boys
11:48And lock them up
11:49Get them off the streets
11:50Until them Texans leave town
11:51And take their gold with them
11:52Oh, wait, uh, boss
11:55I'm gonna arrest them
11:56But I need some grounds
11:57Grounds?
11:58Mm-hmm, grounds
11:58That's what you need?
11:59I need some grounds
12:00You got three million grounds
12:03Right now
12:04Ooh
12:05I have
12:06I'll get them
12:08I'll get them
12:08And I'm gone
12:09Sheriff
12:14This here's me
12:15The deputy
12:16Your deputy Anus
12:18I'm gonna slip around the back
12:20I'm gone
12:35All right
12:46Attention in the farmhouse
12:48This is your, sir
12:49Roscoe
12:50Under arrest?
12:51Who's he?
12:52I don't know
12:52All right, foe and Luke Duke
12:54I want you to come out
12:56With your hands up now
12:57Because I'm arresting you
12:58What, Roscoe?
12:59What's the charge this time?
13:00The charge is reckless driving
13:02Running that limousine off the road
13:04And harassing the tourists
13:05Get out from front of that window
13:07You don't know what he's gonna do
13:09Roscoe
13:10Now, I'm not kidding you
13:11I want you to come out here
13:12That was them other fellas' fault
13:14I was there and I've seen it
13:15Jesse, you old goat
13:17Now, listen
13:18You know those boys
13:19Are gonna pull the biggest heist in history
13:21And I know all about it
13:22Now, I want them to come on out
13:24Come on out now
13:25What heist is he talking about?
13:27For once, I ain't got no idea at all
13:29I'll bet you potatoes to turnips
13:31That J.D. Hogg has put him up to this
13:34And they're setting you fellas up for something bad
13:36Well, we sure ain't gonna find out
13:38If we're setting in jail
13:39Yeah, let's go out this way
13:40I've waited long enough
13:41Now, listen
13:41If you're not out here by the count of three
13:45I'm gonna come in and get you
13:46You hear me?
13:48Now, I'm gonna count to three
13:49And I'll pass two
13:50Oh, no, you don't, Roscoe
13:52Not without wiping off your feet first
13:54You're not tracking up my house
13:56Roscoe
13:58Now, why don't you just put your gun away
14:01Settle down
14:03Come on in here
14:04And let's talk this over
14:06I'll build you a sandwich
14:08I don't want no sandwich, Jesse
14:10I want both of them
14:11What kind of sandwich?
14:14I ain't got time to socialize with you
14:17Now, Jesse, come on now
14:18Send them boys out here
14:19It's hot out here
14:21And I'm standing in this sun
14:23And I ain't gonna do it much longer now
14:24I'm gonna make my move
14:26I'm gonna
14:26I got this around it
14:28Now, I've given you enough time now
14:30It's past dinner
14:34Listen
14:35I'm gonna give you one more chance
14:38And then I'm coming in
14:39Well, you can't say this rat-killing ain't off to a bang-up beginning
14:53Oh, no, no, no
15:04Uh-oh, get away
15:05He's gonna suck a tash
15:10You dick stick
15:24What are you hiding in the hay for?
15:26Get back in there
15:27Watch it
15:43I'm watching
15:45They're still chasing us
15:53We're in trouble
15:54We're in trouble
15:57All right, Enos
16:00Hold her steady
16:01And we've got him
16:02You say so, sir
16:04You got any bright ideas?
16:07I can't watch
16:08Me neither
16:09I'm getting sick and dang tired of being chased by a Roscoe
16:21Listen, we don't know what we're being chased for
16:23Yeah
16:23Seems like a raw deal
16:25Even for Roscoe
16:26I guess it's time to try a little General Jeb Stewart philosophy
16:30Assault the attacker
16:32Yahoo!
16:37You going camping, Mr. Hogg?
16:39No, no, no, no
16:40It's just when them Duke boys are on the loose
16:42I'm sure you heard of them
16:44Up to no good
16:45Very dangerous
16:45Therefore
16:46I intend
16:48To sit right here
16:50All through the night
16:51And personally
16:53Guard your gold
16:54Oh, Roscoe
16:57Get that hand off
16:58This can't shoot
16:59Now just get out there
17:00And guard the front door
17:01I'm going
17:02You too
17:03Mr. Hogg
17:08You forgetting?
17:10What?
17:11Why, you invited me to lunch, sir
17:12Lunch?
17:13Oh, frankly, sir
17:14The responsibility of guarding your gold
17:16Has driven away my appetite
17:18Well, I thought we could discuss the possibilities
17:21Of you handling all of my banking business
17:23All of your banking business?
17:25Well, why me?
17:27After all, I'm just a little old simple country banker
17:30I think you might have hit on something
17:31You see, the larger banks
17:33In the larger cities
17:34Have an obligation
17:34To report certain transactions
17:37To the, uh
17:37To the government
17:38Like the banking commission?
17:41You are a bright man, Mr. Hogg
17:44Yeah
17:44Well, I can see that you and I
17:47Are both of the same mind, sir
17:48We know that what they don't know
17:51Won't hurt us
17:52How about our luncheon, sir?
17:54Oh, yes, our lunch
17:56I think I hear my stomach
17:58Starting to rumble just now
17:59Roscoe!
18:01Roscoe!
18:01Come back in here, will you?
18:03I'm coming, I'm coming
18:04I'm going to lunch
18:05Now you and Ina
18:06Stay here
18:07Don't move
18:08Don't worry, Mr. Hogg
18:10We don't need any help
18:12Well, you're going to get it
18:13Just the same
18:14And when I finish lunch
18:16I'm coming back
18:16I'm going to make sure
18:18That everything goes right here
18:19So I want you all
18:20To stand guard, meanwhile
18:22Now, Roscoe
18:23You watch Buck
18:24And Buck, you watch Dusty
18:25And Dusty, you watch Enos
18:27And Enos, you watch Roscoe
18:28And when I get back
18:29I'm going to watch all of you
18:30Uh, Mr. Um
18:31Uh
18:32Now, you got that, Enos?
18:34Now, I watch him
18:35And you watch him
18:36And I
18:36You watch him
18:39He's a little bit bigger
18:40You know, only in Hazard County
18:43Could a fella have to prove
18:45He's innocent
18:45Of a crime
18:46That ain't even been committed yet
18:47Since the boys
18:53Had to stay out of sight
18:54They figured it'd be
18:55Where nobody was looking
18:56And since the boys
19:10Needed an ally
19:11They decided to drop in
19:12On Cooter
19:13Ah!
19:18Don't have scared my dog
19:19I thought it was a rat
19:20In the attic
19:20Hey, Cooter
19:21Hey, buddy
19:22All right
19:23Cooter, we just can't seem
19:24To pick our friends
19:25Huh?
19:26You got any idea
19:27Why Harkness and that bunch
19:28Were so hot to meet
19:28Boss Hog?
19:29No
19:30But I'll tell you one thing
19:31That accident
19:32It won't know accident
19:33That old axle
19:34Had been about
19:35Hacksawed
19:36About in half
19:37Are you sure about that, Cooter?
19:38Yeah, I'm sure
19:39Not only that
19:40There was something
19:40Very heavy in the trunk
19:42Well, what was it?
19:43I don't know
19:43They hauled it over
19:44To the bank
19:45Before I could get a look at it
19:46I wouldn't mind
19:47Knowing either
19:47Roscoe claims
19:49We're fixing to pull
19:49The biggest bank heist
19:50In Hazard history
19:51Yeah, it sounds to me
19:53Like he's fixing to pull
19:54The biggest frame up
19:55In all of Hazard County history
19:56Hi, Luke
19:56Hi, Bo
19:57Say, Cooter
19:59Sheriff wants to know
20:00When Mr. Hartnett's car
20:01Is going to be ready
20:01Possibly on a gun bus
20:04Y'all are under arrest now
20:05Uh, what's the charge, Enos?
20:07Well, you gotta ask
20:08The Sheriff for that
20:08Uh, I gotta run y'all in
20:10I'm sorry, boys
20:10Well, we're awful sorry too, Enos
20:13Ain't we both?
20:13Oh, yes, sir
20:14We sure are sorry, Enos
20:16Of course, like Uncle Jesse says
20:17It's better to be safe
20:18Than be sorry
20:19It sure is
20:19Here you go, Enos
20:20Stop, y'all
20:21Let the back
20:22I'll shoot
20:23I'll shoot
20:24Stop
20:27Stop now, D.K
20:29Sheriff, you do
20:30What the eaters
20:34Catch them
20:35Freeze
20:35Listen
20:36Stop blowing that whistle
20:38or nothing, Gobs
20:38Freeze
20:39Freeze
20:40Freeze
20:40Get back here
20:54I'm the commander
20:56Oh, sir
20:56You pit stick
20:57I'm
20:57It's supposed to be a drug
20:58Bring this
20:59In order to impress his visitor
21:17Boss shut the boar's nest down
21:20Dressed Daisy up
21:21And went whole hall
21:23Sir
21:26I certainly hope
21:28That you're enjoying
21:29This little touch
21:30Of our
21:31Hairsworth County
21:32Hospitality
21:33Mighty impressed
21:34Yes, sir
21:34Chilton's and champagne
21:36Yeah
21:37I'll drink to that
21:38Hey, baby
21:39Hey, Daisy
21:55Some more candy jams
21:57For Mr., uh, Mr., uh, my soon-to-be business associate
22:02Coming right up
22:04Here you are, sir
22:13No, thank you, little darling
22:14I've had quite enough
22:15Food, that is
22:17Careful, Daisy, honey
22:19The eyes of Texas
22:21Are upon you
22:22Holy animal, what was that?
22:31Uh, probably just those big old rats in the kitchen again, boss
22:34Excuse me, gentlemen
22:38What are you fellas doing?
22:46Roscoe and Enos are tearing up the countryside looking for you
22:48And we're trying to figure out why
22:50Now, we've been talking with Cooter
22:52And it looks like it's got something to do with boss and them Texans
22:54And whatever they got hidden in the trunk of that limousine
22:56Uh, this is Roscoe B. Coltrane
22:59Calling J.D. Hogg
23:00You got your little fat ears on, boss?
23:02Come on
23:02That's my sheriff
23:03Good man
23:05Probably calling in to let me know everything's going along just fine
23:09J.D. Hogg here, Roscoe
23:12Go ahead
23:12What's the good way?
23:13Oh, uh
23:14I just thought you'd like to know, boss
23:16That I single-handed drove off the Duke gang all by myself as they attacked the bank
23:20Come on
23:21Attack the bank! I knew it!
23:23My goal
23:23Hogg, remember, you are responsible
23:25What about the gold, Roscoe?
23:26The gold!
23:27Oh
23:27You don't have to worry about that, boss
23:29They didn't even get near it
23:30Good!
23:32And when you captured them Duke boys
23:33Did you throw them in the slammer?
23:35Uh, well, that's a negatory, uh, little buddy
23:38Uh, uh, in fact, uh, they did escape
23:40But, but we're after them and we're gonna get them
23:43All right, forget them, let them go
23:45Just get yourself back to the bank, bonehead
23:47And don't you move an inch
23:49I'm on my way
23:50You just remember, Hogg
23:52If anything happens to my gold, you owe me three million dollars
23:55I remember
23:56So that's what boss is up to
23:59That gold in that trunk
24:01And boss is all bent out of shape because he's responsible for it
24:04We better get going, Bo
24:06Where to?
24:06The bank
24:07Something happens to that gold, it could mean up to 20 years for somebody
24:11Let's make sure it ain't us
24:13For once
24:13All right, you take care, fellas
24:15Only always
24:16Get up, boss!
24:37Oh, can it?
24:37I gotta check out this gold
24:39What's going on here?
24:48Huh, Simone, a gun for you
24:49My gold, it's gone
24:52No, no, this is the Saturday end
24:55You two supreme go-dos of all time
24:57Have let the Duke boys get away with three million dollars
25:01You better be prepared to make good for it, Hogg
25:04What happened, Buck?
25:04Who did it?
25:05I don't know, H.H.
25:06A couple of guys slugged us from behind
25:08I couldn't see who they were
25:09Well, I know who it was
25:11Roscoe, I want them Duke boys
25:13Dead or alive
25:14Well, if you ask me, I don't think Bo and Luke stole it
25:16Nobody asked you, dipstick
25:18I bet my soul
25:20Those Duke boys would steal their gold
25:22And so they did
25:23Well, there they are
25:24Why don't we ask them?
25:25Hmm
25:25I sure hope that Texas dude ain't as good at hitting people
25:28As he is at shooting whiskey bottles
25:29You know, I figure that Texas fella missed on purpose
25:48No reason to shoot at the only folks he can blame
25:59I think he usually is on purpose
26:02Good scene
26:04And thanks to his Nhνε
26:05True
26:07Three
26:08Big
26:08Big
26:09Big
26:09Big
26:10Big
26:10Big
26:11Big
26:11Big
26:11Big
26:12Big
26:12Big
26:13Big
26:15Big
26:15Big
26:15Big
26:16Big
26:17Big
26:18Big
26:19Big
26:20Big
26:20Big
26:21Big
26:22Big
26:24Big
26:25Big
26:25Big
26:25Big
26:26Big
26:27Big
26:27Big
26:29Uh, sorry, Mr. Terwilliger.
26:33I just...
26:35Enos, will you back it up, you dipstick?
26:39Back it up!
26:40Get...
26:41Who took that goal, anyway?
26:52I reckon it's a toss-up between Boston and Texans.
26:54Now, either way, we gotta find out fast
26:56before we end up in a state pen.
26:58Go to County Morgue the way them Texans like to shoot their guns off.
27:02Oh, look, come in. Do you hear me? This is your Uncle Jesse.
27:05I got you, Jesse. Talk to me.
27:06There's a...
27:07There's a certain fella that's got something big for you.
27:10Who's that?
27:11The only fella that I know that can do anything with a car that they used to do.
27:16Let's go.
27:17We got you, Uncle Jesse. That's a big 10-4.
27:20All right. Hold on.
27:28Now, only Bo and Luke would pull into town in a big orange car with a big one on it,
27:53and sneak across the roofs to get to Cooter's.
27:57Now, the reason it worked is nobody in Hazard ever looks up.
28:00They might get hit by something on the ground.
28:09Shoot, fire hurt on the wheels.
28:11You don't mean just to cut you all a hole up there in the seat.
28:15Look, Cooter, I'm sorry we had to drop in on you again,
28:17but Uncle Jesse said you had something for us that's real big.
28:19Oh, indeed I do.
28:20Y'all feast your baby blues on this right here.
28:23This is a state of Texas hot sheet.
28:24Stolen motor vehicles.
28:26Looky right there.
28:27Yeah, stretch limo, silver.
28:30Same year, same model, Texas plates.
28:33It is true the numbers don't match,
28:34but I got a feeling these here rhinestone cowboys is trying to cover something up.
28:38I think I catch your drift, Cooter.
28:41Let's take a look.
28:43Let's see.
28:45A little Luke Duke magic here.
28:46There we go.
28:50Come on.
28:52Yep, I was trying to cover something up.
28:55Gentlemen, this here is the same limousine.
28:59Would you look at that?
29:02Frickin' frack.
29:03Uh-huh.
29:10Now, wait a minute.
29:11They're hopping in that loan car that boss gave us out here.
29:13Heading out of town without heartness.
29:15You know what them dudes is up to.
29:17I ain't sure, but it's time to find out.
29:18Come on, boy.
29:19Got it.
29:20Keep it twain the ditches.
29:22Come on, boy.
29:29Shit.
29:31Shit.
29:34Shit.
29:42Shit.
29:44Shit.
29:44Shit.
29:44God!
29:45Go, go, go, go!
30:15Go, go, go, go!
30:45Go, go, go, go!
31:15Go, go, go, go!
31:45Go, go, go, go!
32:15Who thought it'd be this easy, eh, Dusty?
32:18Especially the first time out.
32:23Hart, this was right.
32:25Man, there's a whole world of suckers out there just waiting on us.
32:27You know, I can't believe how perfect everything worked.
32:31I mean, wrestling that limousine, then that fake accident with them two rubes.
32:38But now, Hartke's probably got that old hog roasting over a barbecue.
32:41Come on, let's be getting back.
32:47Come on, let's be getting back.
32:49So that's their angle.
33:02So that's their angle.
33:15They stole their own gold, so Boston'd have to come up with the three million to cover it.
33:19But I don't understand why they're gonna leave three million dollars in gold sitting out in the middle of the woods.
33:22I got me a hunch.
33:24Let's see that.
33:28Lead.
33:32Those guys are crooketer than old Mount Perrin Road.
33:35We better get going, Bo.
33:36Grab one of them bars.
33:37Yeah?
33:37We gotta get back to town and fill boss in on this before the rap comes down on us.
33:41You got that right.
33:42Come on.
34:07Hey, wait a minute.
34:09Uh-oh, why are we running, Bo?
34:12Luke, Crossbow's chasing us.
34:14Yeah, but we're on his side this time.
34:17We got the evidence, right?
34:21No.
34:23I apologize.
34:23See, anytime my foot hears a siren, it just goes right to the floor.
34:27I can't believe it.
34:29I think I got him.
34:30I think I got him.
34:31I got him.
34:32This time I already got him.
34:34Yeah!
34:37I got you.
34:45Freeze!
34:46Freeze it!
34:47Freeze it!
34:49Easy with that pea shooter, Roscoe.
34:50All right.
34:51All right.
34:51Spread them.
34:53Have you been watching TV again?
34:55Don't give me any lip.
34:55Now spread them.
34:57I caught you, didn't I?
34:58I've been after you all last time.
35:00Finally wore you down.
35:01Now I caught you.
35:03Roscoe, we let you catch us because we're...
35:05You're not going to talk your way out of it this time.
35:07Now just stand away from the car because I'm going to search it.
35:09Oop.
35:10Oop.
35:11Jesus, priest.
35:11Oop.
35:12Oop.
35:13Oop.
35:14It's the gold.
35:16You boys really did steal this gold, didn't you?
35:19Listen, Roscoe, I'm going to talk slow so you...
35:20Hush!
35:21Now you're not going to slick talk your way out of this.
35:23All I want you two to do is to get in the front seat of my car and drive it so I can sit in the back and keep you covered.
35:30Roscoe, you have been watching too much TV.
35:33And you really ought to take...
35:34Move it!
35:35Now I'm serious this time.
35:37Now just get on.
35:38Well, you can't talk horse sense to a jackass.
35:42I love it.
35:43I love it.
35:44I finally caught the Duke gang.
35:46I can't wait to see the expression on Boss Hogg's fat little face.
35:51I ain't got three million dollars.
35:55Mr. Hogg, all I know is you signed this promissory note guaranteeing the safety of my gold.
36:01And since my gold bars are no longer in your safe, and since I must leave for Houston immediately, I am demanding payment.
36:09Now.
36:09Yeah.
36:10Right now.
36:11This is just a small town.
36:13And it's a small bank.
36:16And I'm just a small man.
36:19Like I said, I ain't got three million.
36:25How much have you got in cash?
36:27In cash?
36:28Well, I guess I could possibly maybe scrape up.
36:37I don't know, about close to a hundred thousand.
36:45We'll take it as a down payment, since you did sign this promissory note.
36:50Yeah, so I did.
36:54Mmm.
36:56Very tasty.
36:57How about seconds?
36:58Huh?
36:59Or thirds.
37:00I had a dozen copies made up.
37:01And they'll stand up in any court in the land, Hogg.
37:03Oh.
37:06My hundred thousand dollars.
37:09Now.
37:10Oh.
37:13Oh, Uncle Jesse.
37:15That's really bothering you, isn't it?
37:16No, no, no.
37:17Let's see if we can pick up Doc Willis.
37:18It's almost time for him to be back here.
37:20Now there's no use bothering him.
37:22He wouldn't know what to do anyway.
37:23Boss, have you and Edith's got your ears on?
37:27Because I have personally captured the Duke gang.
37:31I have single-handed solved a three million dollar gold caper.
37:35Come on.
37:35They got the boys.
37:36Shh, shh, shh.
37:37You sure about that, Sheriff?
37:38Of course I'm sure, you dipstick.
37:40I caught him with the goods.
37:42I'm gonna be famous.
37:43Gonna be famous.
37:44Probably get my picture on the cover of Farm and Tractor magazine.
37:48The boys need our help.
37:50Let's get going.
37:53This is the worst day of my life.
38:09Well, Mr. Hogg, if the Sheriff finds those gold bars,
38:12this won't be costing you a penny.
38:14From your lips to God's ear, Mr.
38:19Uh, Mr.
38:22Harkness.
38:23H.
38:24H.
38:24H.
38:25Hawks.
38:27Get it?
38:28I got it.
38:40Hey, boss.
38:42You ain't gonna believe it, but I caught the gold smugglers.
38:45You mean it really was the Dukes?
38:47You sure?
38:48Cool hand cold train did it again.
38:50Yeah, it's the gold.
38:52I'll take that back, sir.
38:55Hey, nobody move.
38:56No, no, no.
38:57Against the wall.
38:58Don't be mad-ass, Mr. Harkness.
38:59Sheriff's got to go.
39:00Get to him, Sheriff.
39:00You tickety.
39:01All right, come on, boys.
39:02Let's hightail it out of here.
39:03First, let's make sure no one follows us.
39:04So long, suckers.
39:12Now, don't you worry why hazard folks don't notice the shooting.
39:16They didn't pay any attention to Sherman either, and he burned the town.
39:20And to add insult to injury, they're getting away in boss's deluxe courtesy limousine.
39:27You know, the only thing that they ain't done is steal boss's fat wife, Lulu.
39:30All right, Enos, after them.
39:31We're not gonna let them shoot up our town.
39:33Yes, yes.
39:34Let them go, Roscoe.
39:35Let them go.
39:35Let them turkeys keep my cash.
39:38I just keep their gold.
39:40Boss, that ain't gold.
39:41I'd give $100,000 to get $3 million any day of the week.
39:45What'd you say?
39:46Well, all I said was that that ain't...
39:47You wouldn't be playing tricks on an old man now, would you?
39:51It ain't gold, boss.
39:52It's lead.
39:53Lead?
39:54Lead.
39:55Lead.
39:58Ah!
40:00Roscoe, Enos, after them!
40:01They got my money!
40:03But, boss, we got flat tires.
40:04You got flat tires or falling ounces?
40:06You go get me my money back!
40:11And you, too, or I'll send you up the river.
40:14But, boss, well, we told you who the swindlers were.
40:16Yeah, yeah, and you brought them swindlers to me, too.
40:18I make you accessories to the crime.
40:20And if you don't help catch them, I'll make sure you dukes get 20 years.
40:24Daisy, can we borrow your car?
40:25Let's go.
40:26Well?
40:27We're going with you.
40:28Help me put that thing down.
40:31Now, get around here.
40:33You'd expect me to do all this.
40:53Hold on, now.
40:54Y'all are about to join the Hazard County Air Force.
41:06Oh, put it on, now!
41:07What are you waiting for?
41:08It's got a...
41:09Oh, get it in there!
41:11Ain't you ever done this before, Enos?
41:12Let's get him.
41:24What?
41:25Let's get him.
41:26Take some evasive action, Bo.
41:40I'm trying, I'm trying.
41:47Oh, you're making me seasick.
41:49Easy, I'm afraid your car's dead.
42:08We ain't much better, sir.
42:09No, we ain't.
42:10The Texans are gone, and all of Boss Hogg's money is gone, and before he finds us, we better
42:16be gone.
42:18Doc, what?
42:19Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
42:20Hey!
42:21Hold on!
42:22I don't want to do this.
42:23Come on, Jesse.
42:24Come on, Jesse.
42:25Golly, we killed three birds once more.
42:27Jesse!
42:28Daisy, Bo, Luke.
42:29Hey.
42:30Hey, Jesse, you came out to meet me.
42:31That tooth must really be giving you a fit.
42:33Uh, no, it's, uh...
42:35Excuse me, Doc, we need to borrow your rig.
42:36Hey, Bo, what's happening here?
42:37Look, we're gonna have to explain later.
42:39Come on, hop in.
42:39But this is my rig.
42:40Hit it, Bo, go ahead.
42:41This is my rig.
42:42Come on, Doc.
42:54All right, Bo, keep her flying.
42:55We can cut him off through his corners.
42:57I know, but what are we gonna do then?
42:58Yeah, and how are we gonna stop him without getting shot up again?
43:01Alcohol!
43:07What are you doing?
43:08That's my sterilizing alcohol.
43:10Don't worry, Doc.
43:11We replace everything.
43:12You're not gonna drink it, are you?
43:14Well, your moonshine's one thing, Jesse,
43:15but a Molotov cocktail might be a little hard to swallow.
43:19Hard to swallow?
43:20That stuff's so hard to get, you need a license to use it.
43:24You gotta put him in the little holes!
43:26Take them!
43:28Get the hole!
43:28Jack it up!
43:29Come on!
43:29Wait a minute, I've got all this lucky luck!
43:50Hey, the Dukes are in that bus!
43:51Now they've got me mad!
44:11Look, can't you get me closer?
44:13Go, Mo!
44:13Go!
44:13Go!
44:13Go!
44:14Go, Mo!
44:16Bye, now.
44:24I'll be going nowhere.
44:38Those crazy roots are bombin' us!
44:40Step by the dust,y!
44:43I'm trying to save this thing to quarter!
44:46Oh, baby.
44:55Doggone it.
44:56Look, the third one has got to be the charm, Luke.
44:59Luke, it better be.
45:02We're going to land this one right on their engine.
45:05Here goes nothing.
45:06Oh, Luke?
45:08Step on it, Dusty!
45:16Come here, come here.
45:26Which is how the Dukes, with the help of Doc Willis,
45:30caught three Texas swindlers.
45:33Or made it easy for the law to catch them.
45:36See, hot cutters!
45:38Where is he?
45:40Where is he?
45:41Yeah!
45:42Oh!
45:49Boss Hogg got his money back and was so grateful to the Duke boys
45:52he paid all of Jesse's dental bills.
45:54And as long as Boss was paying, Doc put in four fillings,
45:58three gold inlays and a new bridge,
46:00across the creek in front of his house.
46:02And as for Doc, that was his last job,
46:06Being a dentist was just too dang dull for him now.
46:09When last heard from him, he was trying to find an RV drag race.
46:12So, I guess you could rightfully say that in the end,
46:15Jesse's honorary tooth saved old boss hog about three million dollars,
46:19which proves that there ain't no telling how things are going to connect
46:22with the Dukes of Hazzard.
46:35Dukes of Hazzard
47:05Dukes of Hazzard
47:10Dukes of Hazzard
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