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Short filmTranscript
00:00I'm divorced and I can't wait to not hold this last name anymore oh my god this year at New York
00:20City Pride I will be performing at a street festival New York City is one of the biggest
00:26prides ever so I just hope that I kill it on stage after all I've been through with my
00:41ex-husband I cannot wait for this celebration I deserve this
00:50you are planning to have a baby with us right oh we have not had the best experience so far we're
01:01trying to get a sense of this new fertility clinic because this is our last shot if this doesn't work
01:06that's it the last surrogate we had we found out some stuff that we didn't like
01:12do you just surround yourself with a horse
01:17Johan she's your girlfriend
01:23you
01:25yeah we got our car you enjoying that corn Kenny
01:41I'm enjoying this corn Armando I see I love it I want to bite it is good I'm Kenny I'm 62
01:50originally from St. Petersburg Florida and I'm Armando I'm 37 and I'm from San Felipe
01:55La Hacienda de Mexico sorry that threw me off I just meant to say I believe it all right this
02:03is one cool building cheers to the building to be in here cheers our 90-day journey began about
02:10eight years ago we met online on a gay father support group and we became fast friends on there
02:16hey how you doing good how are you good I miss you miss you too I came to Mexico to meet up with them
02:26and then we decided that we wanted to be together so I had to pack my whole life up in St. Pete and
02:32decided I'm gonna move to Mexico to be the love of my life
02:36baby
02:37we got engaged really quick as soon as I hit Mexico it was like within a week
02:45and then it took about a year and a half before we got married
02:49and we're more in love and stronger than ever right definitely
03:02do you think you like Mexico as much as you thought you would more or less really I love it
03:11the culture the people everything people are nice I mean the food is as I really come into my own with
03:18Mexican cuisine when I met Armando he had a little daughter who was just four years old at the time
03:25Hannah I had four adult children of my own I even had a four-year-old grandson here you want some hot
03:31dog and about three years ago we decided to expand our family through surrogacy we found an egg donor
03:39then we created some embryos and we found a surrogate as well but after a while we were very unhappy so
03:44we decided to end our relationship with them and our fertility clinic so tomorrow we have a really
03:49important decision to make about our future family is it good yes so good
04:01we're on our way to the new in vitro clinic that we chose it's only like three or four blocks from our house
04:07hello hello Kenny and Armando okay thank you so much we're trying to get a sense of this new
04:27fertility clinic because we want to be confident comfortable with them because this is our last
04:33shot if this doesn't work and we don't feel good about it that's it okay well very nice to meet you
04:40nice to meet you nice to meet you great so I spoke to the dr. Giovanni and he told me that you are
04:49planning to have a baby with us right oh fun helping we have not had the best experience so far
04:56we're on a three-year journey on this the last surrogate we had we really had a connection with
05:02her we had an emotional bond with her we really tried to be involved with her life and let her
05:06involved in our life and then we found out some stuff that we didn't like we don't know how emotionally
05:13involved we want to be with the surrogate this time our hearts took a real beating with our last
05:19surrogate we felt in the dark many times so we decided not to move forward with them
05:24you told me you have six embryos right yeah if you would want to have for example a daughter
05:32or a son boy or girl like choose the sex no we don't want to know um we also don't even know
05:40exactly who the biological dad will be we called it the milkshake like we don't know whose it is
05:46okay it's just going to be the what do you call it luck of the draw look of the draw and see what
05:52happens so okay right now we have all our confidence in you guys and part of us sharing
05:57also some of our story and background is um so you understand well guys remember i'm going to be
06:05with you at every part of the journey thanks to you for giving us this opportunity again and we
06:11won't let you down thank you thank you it was very nice meeting you thank you gabriella's energy and
06:19confidence made us feel really good about this clinic so i'm really excited we're still going to
06:23be cautiously optimistic but i think we may have found our new clinic fingers crossed it's going to work
06:29for us thanks love okay where are we going all right daddy's going to meet us at the park in a few
06:44minutes he had to finish up something at the house can you believe in another year you'll be in high
06:50school yeah that's freaking crazy because you look like a seven-year-old throughout all the bad things we
06:59had been going through with our previous clinic and we didn't let hannah know because we didn't
07:03want to break her heart or stress or worry so she she's not up to date on anything she might even
07:09think we're not moving forward anymore with the process because it's been so long but we want to
07:13talk to her about it and i think now is the right moment to do so yeah all right did you tell her we had
07:23a talk or anything because i know she gets nervous just like me she overthinks when she gets told
07:29we have to talk did you know i haven't said a word to her we were just playing
07:35what are you going to say well it's about having a baby
07:39i mean i was expecting her to maybe jump up and down with joy
08:09that we were still moving forward with having a child i mean it's probably our fault in a way we
08:14were trying to protect her we didn't for the last almost two years really talk about it because we
08:20weren't sure what was going on we were having so many problems and we didn't want to burden her with
08:24all the issues we were having is it is the main thing you just worry that you wouldn't get attention
08:33yeah i i can swear to you and i can promise you and i know your daddy can too that that wouldn't be the
08:42case you know we tried to do this and it didn't work and we thought about trying one more time and if
08:51it doesn't work it doesn't work and then we're just one more time call a day but we want your support in
08:58this too you need time to think about it a little bit yeah it's really hard to see hannah upset like
09:09this i guess we're just gonna have to give it time i mean i do think hannah might warm up to the idea
09:15so we'll just wait and see i love you
09:32today i am going to get a new driver's license so i'm trying to get myself a little bit more dolled
09:39up than normal because it is the picture i have to stare at for the next four years my name is rachel
09:44i am 40 years old and i live in albuquerque new mexico after being married for over seven years
09:50i'm divorced and i could not be more thrilled about that so today i'm going to go make sure that my
09:57driver's license states that and shows that every day for me because i can't wait to not hold this
10:03last name anymore my 90-day journey began almost eight years ago when i met a man named john who lives in
10:12england we met on a karaoke app i thought he was cute i thought he was gorgeous oh hello look at your
10:21hair yeah it's fuller when we decided to become a couple i was pregnant with my daughter lucy from my
10:30previous relationship and we met up in person when my little one lucy was only eight months old
10:37it was magical i almost immediately fell in love with him
10:44my next trip to see him in england six months later we got married like that fast
10:49you are now husband and wife please kiss you gorgeous bride well done
10:58i thought that it would be a happily ever after ending but it was not
11:05i received a message from someone who i knew
11:14she reached out alleging that john cheated on me for seven and a half years
11:22according to her he also sent pics on tinder during this entire time as well
11:28i don't know if it's like 100 certain but i'm confident in in what she's told me so he um
11:36can go down a hole all right it's time
11:49when i officially got my divorce paperwork back this week the first thing i wanted to do after that was
11:56run straight to the dmv and get my last name changed absolutely zero association with my ex-husband
12:03this is the person that i shared a last name with and i could not be more disgusted and quite frankly
12:11disappointed in myself by ignoring all of the red flags for so long my last trip to see him was
12:20by far the worst trip i've ever had the physical touch during that time was few and far between i felt
12:29unattracted and attractive i just didn't realize this bothered me so much
12:43like in hindsight i see it now he's cheating on me the entire time
13:02oh i hate him
13:03i'm so excited to go to the dmv of all places that's a first i've lost 30 pounds so actually
13:15about 270 pounds if we're going to include the dead weight i left back in england
13:19so i'm excited to have a different driver's license pictured but i'm also getting my maiden name back
13:24i'm gonna get me back it's a new chapter in my life and it's gonna be all about me for once okay
13:35i am going in i know that the dmv can be a real pain so i am really hoping that they don't give me
13:42too much trouble with this name change i will beg if that's what it takes
13:46it's me again i'm me again oh my god legitimately like the most exciting feeling
14:07i've had probably better than my marriage
14:10hey little boy want to play a little game want to show us how quick you can turn after fame and
14:16how fast your ex-wife can get rid of your name
14:29out of all the houses that we've seen so far have you been excited about any of them you see
14:32i don't know i want to like a really big room really big room that's the fun part about house
14:42hunting though they're all different during my entire marriage with john i never considered
14:48trying to buy a house because i was waiting for him to come to the united states but he was denied
14:54the first visa and denied again and again because of his criminal past but now that i'm divorced my
15:02god i want a house that i can call my own so that's what i'm doing ready lucy yeah let's go
15:09say hi to shayna oh hi shayna hi good how are you good gonna see you remember shayna yeah hello hi
15:18shayna hi you ready to show me this house i sure am i'm ready to do it all right okay
15:27so as you can see they're doing some renovations to finish to get it ready to go on the market
15:32thing is it a half bath downstairs or just like just the toilet or just just a powder room so
15:38it's a half s toilet and a toilet toilet that's good that's good because i went to a bathroom in
15:43england once with just the toilet and that was weird so that was also on my list you want to pick
15:47a bedroom yeah okay all right let's go
15:52house hunting has proven to be much more stressful than i thought it would be
15:56it's either one i can't afford that i love or one that i can't afford and i don't love but maybe i
16:03am being a little too picky oh a red room wow this is big brown and red room yeah yeah what do you
16:12think uh i like it look at that big window a huge window the sun is setting so you're gonna have lots
16:18of light pouring in okay okay one more to go what else do we have is this the big room will be the
16:25primary bedroom okay big closet are you sure this is in my budget it is in your budget girl
16:35this house is great and if it weren't for my job as a technical specialist i wouldn't be able to afford
16:40this place but thank goodness my job is good and now that i'm free i am more than willing to put my hard
16:46earned money into a brand new home what do you think lucy do you want it yeah are you sure yeah
16:53okay i think i'm finally done getting ready for tonight i'm a little nervous even though i've lost
17:12way and i'm still pretty insecure about the way i look so i'm going to ask carol what she thinks about
17:18my bland outfit with my divorce and now i'm moving into a new home i need a girl celebration
17:25like no one's business carol you want to see my outfit i've been waiting for you my friends are
17:32taking me to a male review show tonight and we're going to make this the most epic divorce celebration
17:40there ever was okay what do you think like is it okay you look gorgeous yeah you look really pretty
17:49you look hot thanks so i kind of want everybody to know that you're available so i got you a little
17:55something i shall announce you queen rachel oh my big car the evening you're being crowned right now
18:04being all right i accept oh wow oh wow and it matches the outfit you look so good i am divorced as
18:19and i cannot wait for this celebration i deserve this
18:29so
18:41thank you for coming should we go find our seats yeah
18:49all right ladies if we have anyone recently divorced
18:52we're in the house come on women you need to get you outside here
19:06i am self-imploding right now
19:25this sort of show exceeds all my expectations
19:36this is literally the best night of my life better than my wedding
19:46one thousand percent better than my wedding
19:51this year has already been full of so many amazing surprises i got a divorce i got a house
19:58i got touched by greek gods
20:00i feel like life will naturally propel you in the right direction once you let go of toxicity and
20:09the thing that's holding you back and i absolutely cannot wait to continue with the path that i'm on
20:15the best part
20:17is
20:29My name is Danielle, I'm 45, and I live in Capcana.
20:59I know this is really surprising because the last time that you guys saw us, we were
21:11getting a divorce, but Johan and I decided to work things out.
21:14He was really there for me during a family emergency, and so I kind of fell in love with
21:19him all over again.
21:20I never thought in a million years that I would be able to look at this face and not
21:37want to punch it.
21:48Johan and I recently decided to start a business together, and we wanted to lead excursions
21:52for tourists in Dominican Republic.
21:55So today we're trying out an ATB tour with our friends.
22:02I first met Johan in 2021 at a resort in Dominican Republic.
22:10I stayed at the hotel, he was a personal trainer, and I thought he was so irresistible.
22:19And after just five months of dating, we got married.
22:26Throughout our time together, Johan and I had a lot of fights about women that he was in
22:42contact with.
22:43He always said that these were just clients from the resort.
22:47The other day, a woman wrote to me on social media and told me that she has been in a relationship
22:53with my husband for two years, since a month before we got married.
22:56I started digging more.
22:57I went through his computer, and I found evidence of other women that he's been in relationships
23:02with.
23:03Now.
23:04I was going to file for divorce, but before I got a chance to, my grandmother passed away.
23:09I was in a really bad place, and Johan reached out to me, and he offered me a lot of support.
23:15Even though I was still really angry with him, he was there for me when I needed him the most.
23:20So, I started talking to Johan again, and he admitted to cheating on me, but I felt like
23:27he was being more honest with me.
23:29And that made me feel like it was possible for us to try to fix our marriage.
23:33The truth is, this is going to be a journey, because, you know, I have to learn how to trust
23:56him again.
23:57This is a rio?
23:58Wow!
23:59Wow!
24:00Here we are!
24:01Look how beautiful!
24:02Yes!
24:03Good morning!
24:04Good morning!
24:05Good morning!
24:06Good morning!
24:07We are so excited.
24:08We're starting our planning for next week's tours.
24:23And my amazing husband is making me tea, because he's the best in the morning, honestly.
24:27Thank you, love.
24:28Thank you, love.
24:29Okay, so, the next week, we have two groups.
24:34So, I think that you need to go to one, and I need to go to another.
24:46It's still really hard to trust Johan again, just because of our past.
25:15And so, I definitely don't want him leading a solo tour where women are going to be hitting
25:20on him.
25:21And I don't want him to be faced with temptation that he can't resist.
25:25If you have a relationship, you have to trust.
25:28Do you want my phone?
25:30You can have my phone.
25:32Where are you?
25:33Since Daniel and I came back, she always wants to check my phone.
25:38I don't like that idea.
25:39I don't like that idea, but I know that I've ruined it in the past.
25:43And to make this marriage work, I need to give my phone to Daniel, even if I don't like it.
25:50I don't like it.
25:51You have pictures of 20 women without hair?
25:57That's a photo from Google.
26:00From Google?
26:01This is what you do and Google it?
26:03A photo?
26:04No.
26:05No.
26:06No.
26:07It's really upsetting to see pictures of naked women on my husband's phone, and they
26:16could be from the internet, but they could also be real women who sent them to him.
26:21I feel so betrayed, especially because he knows how triggering this is for me.
26:51It's not a play.
26:52Yes.
26:53It's not a play.
26:54It's not a play.
26:55It's not a play.
26:56It's not a play.
26:57It's not a play.
26:58You want to sit back here?
26:59Yes, perfect.
27:00Seeing these photos triggers the trauma from the past, and it's like, I feel like I'm
27:05back in that place all over again.
27:08So I've decided that I need to set some clear guidelines for Johan, and if he's not willing
27:13to abide by them, then this marriage is not going to work.
27:21I always feel nervous, anxious.
27:26It's difficult for me.
27:28I have a lot of love for you, but we need to have lines.
27:33I need a message from all your social networks.
27:39You need to send me your vocation always.
27:43I need to send you to the phone, and I feel like I'm being arrested, and I know that
27:52I know that I'm trying to work in the relationship, but I feel like I'm being arrested.
27:56That's not a play.
27:57This beat really make me move, everybody on the dance floor move.
28:12I got some car, got our asses to South Jersey, got like a two-hour drive, so now I got to
28:20be like the speed demon.
28:22Let's get this going.
28:25I'm Nikki.
28:26I'm 48 years old.
28:27I'm out in New Jersey.
28:29I'm a transsexual singer-songwriter.
28:32And today I'm so excited because it's the first time I'm getting back into the studio
28:39with the Secret Girls, the America's first trans pop group that I formed back in 2006.
28:46Five, six, seven, eight.
28:53Is that orgasm workout, girl?
28:55It's not...
28:56No, it's...
28:58It can...
28:59You have to open your mouth.
29:00So you can...
29:01It's supposed to be like coming from here.
29:03It's not...
29:04Like that.
29:05Oh, go, Nikki.
29:07Okay, go.
29:08This group took a long hiatus, but now that I'm single,
29:12I want to get back into the studio and get back to work.
29:15I first met Igor in Moldova about 18 years ago,
29:19but things didn't work out.
29:21Then three years ago, we got back together.
29:24We had a beautiful relationship,
29:27and we decided to get engaged.
29:30We applied for the K-1 visa, and while we were waiting,
29:34I had a random text message from Igor.
29:37He just sent me a text, just telling me, like,
29:41how everything is just, he's just done.
29:44So he text messaged you, broke up with you in a text message?
29:46Yes, through a text message, and you don't do that.
29:50That's cold.
29:52Let's go.
29:54I cried many months after the breakup.
29:57I was paralyzed.
29:59I couldn't move, I couldn't eat, I couldn't work.
30:02So right now, I just want to focus on myself,
30:06and I just want nothing to do with him.
30:09What's up?
30:10Hello, hello, hello.
30:12How are you?
30:13How are you?
30:14Nice to see you.
30:15This is Mr. Mix.
30:17I am.
30:18We are recording our very first Christmas song.
30:21I'm so excited to let the world hear what we have in store.
30:26Deck the halls with bells of hollies.
30:29Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
30:32Tis the season to be jolly.
30:35Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
30:38Dawn we now are gay in peril.
30:41Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
30:43Fa-la-la-la.
30:44Follow the entrance to a tight cable.
30:46Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.
30:51This feels so good to finally, like,
30:53get back to what I really love doing,
30:55because I lost myself.
30:57Getting back on stage, performing again,
31:00I need that to start rebuilding my self-worth,
31:03self-confidence.
31:04We're back!
31:05Secret Girls!
31:06Secret Girls!
31:07Secret Girls!
31:08Secret Girls!
31:09I need to remind myself who I am again.
31:12So this year at New York City Pride,
31:15I will be performing at a street festival.
31:17I am so excited and nervous at the same time,
31:21because New York City is one of the biggest Prides ever.
31:25So I just hope that I kill it on stage.
31:28All right.
31:29Sounded good in there.
31:30All right.
31:31Come on.
31:32Let's go.
31:39Hold on.
31:40We're going to have a girls' day.
31:43It's tomorrow I'm performing for Pride.
31:47Hi.
31:48Hi.
31:49Oh, you look so pretty.
31:51You look beautiful.
31:52I love you.
31:53How was the travel?
31:54I love you too.
31:55Terrible.
31:56It was terrible.
31:57So my mom has finally arrived to stay with me for Pride.
32:00She came out for my performance, so I'm really excited.
32:05It's Girls' Day.
32:07I want to get the skin glowing.
32:08As you can see, I got some bruising.
32:10I know.
32:11I just noticed that.
32:12What's going on with that?
32:13I got my...
32:14What did I tell you?
32:15Touch up?
32:16Why?
32:17I tell you not to do that before you're going to perform.
32:18But a doll's work is never done.
32:20I needed to get my fillers and Botox.
32:23Duh.
32:24Before the big show, I just want to clear my head, calm my nerves, and have a nice spa day
32:30with my mom.
32:31I'm going to whiskey.
32:32Whiskey, whiskey.
32:33Here, whisk this for me.
32:34Okay?
32:35I'm going to go get something and hold your hair back.
32:37Okay, that smells.
32:38I have grown a lot closer with my mother ever since the breakup with Igor.
32:45It smells like a salad.
32:46And that's what you're about to look like.
32:50And my mother had to be there for me emotionally and physically.
32:55And she just doesn't want to see me hurt anymore.
32:58I'm truly excited that I'm going to be there for you.
33:01I know that what you went through with Justin was horrible.
33:05And you were in a bad place.
33:07For a long time.
33:08For a long time.
33:09So it's nice to see you happy and following your dream that you always had for singing
33:14going back into what you used to do.
33:16You know, I always told you.
33:17Everything happens for a reason.
33:19I just wish it didn't happen like that.
33:21I know.
33:22You know?
33:23It's hard to talk about my ex relationship because, like, I've never been hurt like that.
33:31But I don't want it to let it in my head.
33:34I really need to do this show and just show I can do things on my own and not depend on anybody.
33:43You'll be good.
33:44Nicole.
33:45Time to get up.
33:46Are you all good?
33:47Have a big day.
33:48Time to get up, honey.
33:49Come on.
33:50Come on.
33:51Oh, my God.
33:52You're so dark.
33:53I know.
33:54Oh, my goodness.
33:55Look at this.
33:56Look at that pillow.
33:57Thank God you put that on there.
33:58Today is Pride Day and I'm so excited to perform.
34:12My glam squad are going to snatch my face into some amazing perfection.
34:19Give me a run for your money.
34:21Watch me work this year.
34:23I am ready to go.
34:25Look at that.
34:26I'm so excited.
34:27Give me a run for your money.
34:29Watch me work this year.
34:31Come on, Lila.
34:32We've got to watch my baby girl perform.
34:36Come on.
34:37This is it.
34:38On stage, right now, the gorgeous, the fabulous, Ms. Nikki.
34:44And Veronica.
34:45A lot of you guys know this one.
34:47Yeah.
34:48Here we go.
34:49I'm in the club there hopping myself.
34:50I'm not thinking about nobody else.
34:51I'm coming to get my shine.
34:52See the top boys all along.
34:53Draw me crazy the way I move.
34:54Get down, got nothing to lose.
34:55Follow me all through this club.
34:56Yeah.
34:57Shake the house alive.
34:59Thank you so much.
35:14You guys are so beautiful.
35:16All right, let's give it up for my amazing Nikki Exotica.
35:21This performance has helped build me back up,
35:24find my self-esteem again,
35:26and it's given me hope for the future.
35:28I made it through a tough time,
35:30and I definitely want to find love again,
35:32but I will never put any man before my passions.
35:58I recently found pictures of naked women on Johan's phone, and because Johan cheated on me in the past, I'm constantly thinking, like, is he doing this all over again?
36:16So if Johan doesn't agree to my rules, we're going to have to end this relationship.
36:32I know that I've done bad things.
36:34I know that I've done bad things.
36:38And that it's going to take time to heal everything.
36:44But I don't have any problems.
36:48I don't have any problems.
36:49You can have things to happen.
36:54I want this relationship because I need my husband.
36:57And I have a lot of people.
36:59I'm really angry because today I saw Johan on the story of my kids.
37:20i'm really angry because today i saw johan on his phone a lot so i just decided to ask him for it
37:32and go through it and i realized that he had this like archived chat in his whatsapp there were all
37:38of these conversations with women but when i went into the chats all of the conversations were
37:44deleted so it's very clear that he's having conversations with other women and then deleting
37:48them and you only delete things when you have something to hide
37:51one of them was a name and a picture of a woman i recognized because he had dated her in the past
38:03and so i decided i was going to text her and figure out what's going on
38:07but she wouldn't respond to me
38:18what do you think you did you have a list of chats a list of chats hidden
38:39that you've deleted all the messages
38:41you're on she's not your client you're lying to my face you're lying to my face
38:59i can't believe this bitch i can't believe this
39:23do you just surround yourself with bores i reached out to her and she immediately texted
39:29johan and said your wife just messaged me what should i tell her to be honest i don't even
39:35know how to respond i feel like a fool
39:38i don't know how to respond to her
39:44johan she's your girlfriend you have a list of hidden chats in whatsapp they're all women
39:49you get out of my house i want you out of here i want you out of here
39:55i want you out of here get out get out i don't care she can buy you a new one
40:01i just saw the message that you sent him instead of responding to me you responded to him
40:10my husband or you want to tell me the truth you whore
40:14what is wrong with these people how do you surround yourself trash when you have a beautiful wife
40:22i just wanted to go
40:34it could be true that all these women in this secret chat that all the messages have been deleted
40:42all clients of his and he's just afraid of me embarrassing him and reaching out to them that
40:47it could be true it could also be true that he's every single one of them
40:50and i'll have to constantly question which of those things is true and make someone insane
40:57it's like it makes me feel really crazy
41:01i just want him out i want this marriage over
41:12who would have thought your girl is back in love butterflies all of it
41:29hi you look beautiful thank you we've ridden horses a million times
41:35oh i think yours is farting good enjoy
41:40it's a good present for your green car
41:44this name here doesn't match with my face most
41:50i feel very sad and feeling trapped seeing the that name douglas in my green car
41:57that doesn't reflect the person that i am now
42:00i think i'm ready to move
42:06i can't find myself here anymore
42:08what
42:09i'm really having a hard time being here now in mexico city
42:14the hustle and bustle of a city is
42:16has gotten to be too much
42:17you're kidding right
42:19i have some very big news but i think it's good
42:26i don't know i don't know what i'm doing
42:28i have had the incredibly romantic idea of proposing
42:33what if i told you that i want to marry them
42:39but if my kids tell me like absolutely not i wouldn't be able to do it and that scares at me
42:45i don't know i don't know
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