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Short filmTranscript
00:00SIGNATURAL
00:02SIGGED
00:04INDUSTENSE
00:06WANTS
00:08BARONS
00:10BARONS
00:12BARONS
00:14BARONS
00:16BARONS
00:18BARONS
00:20BARONS
00:24BARONS
00:26BARONS
00:28BARONS
00:29Excuse me, you're telling me that the woman who loves to sing at any opportunity,
00:55who organises drag nights and finger nights and all that stuff, who loves being centre of attention.
01:00All of a sudden it's her birthday and she doesn't want no fucks.
01:04I want her in the mood.
01:07What are you talking about? You're always in the mood. You are the mood.
01:14Well, it's not so jazz hands when you realise.
01:16When you realise what?
01:20My life's not exactly what I thought it'd be, all right.
01:23Right. At 49 in the remix. So I didn't really want a fuck.
01:27Right. Is this because you've not got a fella?
01:30No.
01:33It's not just that.
01:37I love my life, but sometimes...
01:41A bit lonely.
01:43Bob on.
01:44Right.
01:48Well, listen.
01:50I know that your life might not be where you think it should be right now,
01:53but I'll let you tell you, you are fan-tastic.
01:57And I'm telling you now, you've made my life a hundred times better.
02:04May I have this dance?
02:05Come on, Bob.
02:10Hey-oh, never fear, your cake is here!
02:14Oh!
02:16Now, that cake looks very, very heavy.
02:18It's a very good job that you've got such lovely muscly arms.
02:21Oh, you've got lovely muscly arms, too, as well, that can help me.
02:26Oh, you and Todd have saved it, eh?
02:29Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah.
02:31Where is Todd?
02:32Oh, you know, he's a bit of a liar, the way he's gone for a lie there.
02:35What? He's out there anything to drink.
02:38Well, that's my point, exactly.
02:40What, so we just wanted to go home?
02:42Left without saying his goodbyes?
02:44Listen, don't worry about goodbyes.
02:46You see him all the time.
02:47Don't you worry, little Ed, about Todd.
02:48Oh, Sally's spectacular.
02:50Are you dancing?
02:51Because I am asking.
02:53Why would he cheat on you?
03:00There's no-one fitter than you, except me, and it's not me.
03:05So go on, then.
03:07Who is she?
03:09Carl's latest.
03:16It's James.
03:20James?
03:21James Bailey?
03:27I can't believe this.
03:30James, that sneaky little skank.
03:32Oh, Carl's the skank.
03:36You blew up your life for him.
03:38Oh, thanks for the reminder.
03:41What am I going to do, Tris?
03:43Well, you can stop being such a sap.
03:46I knew I'd come to the right place for sympathy.
03:48No, I mean it, Abbie.
03:50Remember who you are.
03:53No, you're right.
03:54What am I doing here?
03:55I should be chucking Carl's clothes out the window,
03:58or, I don't know, cutting up his best jacket.
04:00No, that's amateur.
04:02You're smarter than that.
04:03I'm not, though, am I?
04:05We were putting money aside for our new life in flaming Dusseldorf,
04:13and I'm putting groceries on credit cards
04:15while he's copping off with anyone he likes.
04:19Right, so he's got a nice little nest egg, has he, for Germany?
04:23A few grand.
04:24Be a shame if that went missing.
04:27What, you reckon I should rob it?
04:30Pay your debts off,
04:32buy a fabulous pair of shoes,
04:33and walk all over him, fleece him!
04:38I knew there was a reason you and me were mates.
04:41Do not shed a single tear over him again, OK?
04:44Do you hear me?
04:45Damn right.
04:47Right, I've got to go,
04:48cos, erm, I've got some stuff to do.
04:50And did you not think to ask me first?
04:59I wasn't going to see my mum out in the street, was I?
05:01She's not going to be happy until I'm in the gutter.
05:03Oh, that's not true.
05:04You two just clash.
05:06Christmas didn't do any good, either.
05:07That was all her doing.
05:08Oh, I know, but...
05:10Babe, she hates my guts.
05:12She doesn't.
05:15Eva, take this upstairs, would you?
05:17Today, if it's not too much trouble.
05:19It is, actually.
05:21You'll have to do it yourself.
05:22Carefully, don't break your neck on the way up.
05:24I'm surprised that hasn't happened to you
05:26in those trashy heels.
05:27All right, enough.
05:29This is our home.
05:31Exactly.
05:32No, I mean all of ours.
05:33So can we please just get along?
05:37She hasn't even said sorry.
05:39Well, I am sorry.
05:40I'm sorry you feel so aggrieved.
05:42Babe, that is not an apology.
05:45That's the best you're going to get.
05:46Now, can we just move forward, please?
05:48I'll do a spot of cleaning.
05:51Stay to the place.
05:52Right, seriously.
05:53Babe, babe, babe, babe.
05:59So how is university for the very, very, very mature student?
06:04Oh, well, you know me.
06:07Potential barrister.
06:09Elderly, vagrant, pub, landlady.
06:11I treat everyone the same.
06:13It'd be an awful pity if you got barred, wouldn't it?
06:17I thought you were studying law, not medicine.
06:20If you must know, this is all about my grandson's accident.
06:25Well, his recovery from the hit and run.
06:28Mystery of the century?
06:29I'd like you to know that this is my life.
06:32It's not some cheap TV thriller.
06:34Oh, the drama of you.
06:39He's still alive, isn't he?
06:41And on the mend?
06:42Well, he would be.
06:43If he went to his physio, if he weren't too scared, the stubborn ox.
06:47And he doesn't listen to a word you say.
06:49Maybe it's the way you say it.
06:52Maybe he's just a stubborn ox who needs to apologise.
06:55Yeah, sometimes you have to, with family.
07:05You see, if I'd cancelled the sparrow, I would have lost my hefty deposit, you know.
07:09Who is this bloke, any road?
07:11Andrew Scott.
07:12Well, he's an amazing actor that me and Todd adore.
07:15But I get that you didn't want to lose your deposit, so it's fine.
07:19Can you take someone else?
07:20Well, it was kind of more for Todd than me.
07:22But, um, yeah, I'm sure I could find someone.
07:25Hey, I've just found this in Todd's jacket.
07:28Oh, hey, hey, someone.
07:30I'll let the authorities, they found my boyfriend's bone in his jacket.
07:32No, I mean, he'll need it, won't he?
07:35I'm going to drop it on over to...
07:36Oh, Billy, he's sleeping off the ale.
07:38He doesn't need to be playing candid crush.
07:40What if he needs to contact us?
07:41No, he won't.
07:42Look, put it back and I'll reunite it with him when I get home.
07:45All right.
07:47All right, guys, guys, the cake is up.
07:50Oh, my God!
08:03Sorry!
08:03This hotel website's really basic.
08:20There's barely any reviews.
08:22Why are you still banging on about this?
08:24Because it doesn't add up.
08:25It's like a front or something.
08:27But when you spoke to somebody on the phone before,
08:30you spoke to an actual human and they said that Carla was staying there?
08:32Yeah, but when I try and book it, look,
08:36it doesn't let me go any further.
08:38Well, then, the website designer needs a second.
08:41Yeah, but also when I look at maps,
08:44it's a building site.
08:47Well, yeah, but, I mean, maps, they're never, like, fully up to date, are they?
08:51I mean, it's probably just a bit behind or something.
08:54Do you remember when we went to that boutique hotel in Portugal
08:57and it was only, like, half built?
08:59Yeah, I do.
08:59Which was, like, ten.
09:01So it was really exciting.
09:02I was like, if I don't laugh, I'm going to cry.
09:04I can't imagine Carla seeing the funny side, though.
09:06No.
09:07No, I think if it turns out to be a dud hotel,
09:09then she's going to be chewing my ear off
09:11and complaining about it when she gets back.
09:12So you reckon I'm making something out of nothing?
09:17I'm sure she's by the pool,
09:18just topping up a ten and eyeing up the talent.
09:21Oh.
09:24Don't make a sound.
09:26Oh, I'll knock you out proper this time.
09:28Please just let me go.
09:29Oh, God, you talk like I'm some kind of monster,
09:32but I came back to give you your kidney meds
09:33and look what you did to me.
09:36Oh.
09:37You didn't have to do that.
09:38It really hurts.
09:40You got me locked up in a coven, you're the victim.
09:45It is what it is.
09:47Like, yeah, it's not ideal,
09:49but I didn't want you to suffer,
09:50which is why I brought your meds.
09:52You can sing for these now.
09:54No, no, Becky.
09:55Please, I need them.
09:56No.
09:59You know Lisa's going to figure out who you really are.
10:06Lisa and me know each other inside out.
10:08And you can't mess with that,
10:10even though you tried.
10:13You're so damned.
10:14I don't care what you think,
10:16because pretty soon you'll be out of the picture
10:18and I'll get my happy ending with my family.
10:24If you were going to kill me,
10:26you'd have killed me by now.
10:29Look at you.
10:30You're shaking.
10:31You're not a killer.
10:35You've not got it,
10:36ain't you?
10:37No.
10:42But I don't have to,
10:43do I?
10:46Because without meds,
10:47your body's going to fail you pretty quickly.
10:50So all I have to do...
10:52put on this gag.
11:04Get up.
11:08And walk out the door.
11:09I don't want it.
11:30Well, is this or nothing, Betsy?
11:32Right, come on, get the plates out, will you?
11:34OK, Mrs. Crubbs.
11:36Excuse me.
11:36Hello.
11:39We are dishing up stir-fry again.
11:42Are you hungry?
11:43Yeah, starved, babes.
11:45Where have you been all day?
11:47I, um...
11:47Don't you make every question sound like a police interrogation?
11:51Betsy, I don't.
11:52I was just concerned.
11:54You know, you...
11:58You look like death.
12:00You all right?
12:01Oh, yeah.
12:02I'm just, you know...
12:04Oh, Mum!
12:05Oh, my God!
12:06Becky!
12:07Bex!
12:08Uh, er...
12:09Betsy calling ambulance now.
12:10Yeah.
12:11Becky?
12:13Becky, can you hear me?
12:15Hey, you sit down.
12:16I'll get the gun.
12:17I should get attacked more often.
12:19Maybe I should invest in a little nurse's outfit,
12:21property, carey...
12:23Shh.
12:23Although I do like the sound of that.
12:25I'm just going to go for a week.
12:26OK.
12:27Hiya.
12:27Collection for Osborne.
12:28Yeah, I'll just grab it.
12:31A nurse's outfit.
12:35Er, it was a joke.
12:36What are you even doing here?
12:37Well, maybe I just fancied a onion barzy.
12:41So you followed us?
12:42Us?
12:44Look, I'm sorry, Will.
12:45I know you've got it to be missing out on a session,
12:47but after what happened to Daniel,
12:49I need to be with him.
12:50Are you going on this part?
12:51I told you I wouldn't.
12:55All right?
12:56Yeah.
12:57Yeah, we're great.
12:58Will's just disappointed that I've had to cancel our session tomorrow.
13:01Committed, aren't you?
13:02Completely.
13:03Yeah.
13:07Shall we go, then?
13:08Yeah.
13:08Yeah.
13:09Come on, let's cadaddle.
13:11Bye, Will.
13:12Bye.
13:13I'll, erm...
13:14I'll message you about rescheduling.
13:18Layers.
13:23Hey.
13:25Who's lazy now?
13:27Well, what do you want?
13:28A medal?
13:29Oh, come on.
13:30Don't pretend like you're not impressed.
13:32I knew you could do it, didn't I?
13:35The physio said he's never seen someone come so far in a session.
13:38Oh, you went to the physio in the end, did you?
13:41Er, yeah.
13:42Yeah, I did.
13:42Hmm.
13:43Was it helpful?
13:44Right, well, you can wipe that look off your face.
13:47Pity the physio didn't teach you to respect your elders.
13:51Well, it's a pity that my elders don't respect me as well.
13:55But, but, I probably shouldn't have spoke to you the way that I did.
14:00Well, I forgive you, all right?
14:02That's settled.
14:03What's for tea?
14:04Well, hang on.
14:05Have I been played here?
14:08Possibly.
14:09I got you to your session there, didn't I?
14:12Er, he went of his own accord.
14:14Oh, course he did.
14:15Course he did.
14:17Listen.
14:18Listen, you was right.
14:20I shall be trying harder.
14:23All right, don't ruin it for yourself.
14:36Straight into the recycling.
14:38What is it?
14:43Er, a few friends and me mum's reached out, saying how sorry they were.
14:51And I didn't know what to say.
14:53And I know that they wanted some heartfelt thing, but...
14:57You didn't know how?
15:01That made me a bad person.
15:03No.
15:05No, grief.
15:06It's...
15:06It's complicated, isn't it?
15:09You deal are you deal.
15:10All the messages just made it real, you know?
15:13Like, that's it.
15:15Like, I'm never going to see her again.
15:17She's gone.
15:17It's done.
15:24She'll be proud of you, you know?
15:27Yeah, right.
15:28Following your heart.
15:33Saving your pennies to start a new life with a woman you love.
15:38And a kid.
15:39And we're almost there, aren't we?
15:43Soon we'll be able to buy our tickets.
15:46And leave all our ghosts behind.
15:49Yeah.
15:51Now, you don't sound too keen.
15:53You've not blown all the money, have you?
15:55Of course I haven't.
15:56And I am keen.
15:58It's just...
15:59It's been a weird day, hasn't it?
16:01Yeah, it has.
16:05It does make you think, though.
16:09About the people you love.
16:12You'd do anything for him.
16:14Would you?
16:16What?
16:18Would you do anything for me?
16:21Of course I would.
16:23Abby, I don't know what I'd do without you.
16:26And you won't have to find out?
16:27Because you'd have to try very hard to get rid of me.
16:40Well, the doctor said it was concussion.
16:42And the wound on the back of your head.
16:44That doesn't happen without you noticing, does it?
16:45What's with her tone?
16:46She's in a hospital bed.
16:48You need to know what's going on, Betsy.
16:55What's happened, Mum?
16:57I didn't want to tell you, but, um...
17:02I was...
17:03I was attacked.
17:07Oh, my God.
17:08Curtis's lot.
17:12Why wouldn't that be the first thing out of your mouth?
17:15It won't completely freak you out.
17:17It's me thereafter.
17:18You might have told me to do one.
17:19No, of course we wouldn't.
17:20Would we?
17:22No.
17:24Never.
17:24We can't just keep ignoring this.
17:30And you're right.
17:31They've obviously been keeping tabs on you and they clearly know where to find you.
17:34Yeah.
17:35Yeah, we can't just wait around until they do her in.
17:37We need to leave.
17:38Hide out, like, right now.
17:40Right, you panicking isn't helpful.
17:42Yeah, but we've already lost her once.
17:43Don't you think I know that?
17:45I don't want to lose her again, either.
17:46Yeah, then do something.
17:47Bessie, it's all right.
17:49I am going to be all right.
17:52Lisa, I have to go.
17:54I need to go to Spain as soon as.
17:59We should ramp up the guest deals.
18:01People buy more when they think I won't last forever.
18:03Last forever?
18:05Nothing does.
18:06Right, Yoda.
18:06Why don't we try another cocktail night?
18:10Learn from our mistakes.
18:12You mean my mistakes?
18:13I didn't, actually.
18:15This is a learning curve for all of us.
18:18Oh, indeed it is.
18:20All right, what about a luau?
18:21I could do pina coladas, Mai Tais.
18:23I could dust off me coconuts.
18:26Oh, I know.
18:27What about a Great Gatsby?
18:28Oh, I love the 1920s and I make the best flapper.
18:32Just replace the F.
18:34You what?
18:35Oh, it was right there.
18:37I couldn't resist.
18:38Come on, babe.
18:40She's joking.
18:42Of course I am.
18:43Friends?
18:46Yeah.
18:47Right.
18:48Can you two ladies get on?
18:50After all, we're family.
18:56Maybe I've been a bit oversensitive.
18:59But I think Ben's right.
19:01We are family.
19:02And I think if we try hard, we could be so happy here.
19:07My son is soft and forgiving.
19:10Traits that I don't possess.
19:12You aborted my grandchild.
19:15You lied to everyone.
19:17You, lady, will never be my family.
19:21Ah, what can I get you there?
19:23It's hard.
19:39It's hard.
19:41It's hard.
19:41What have you been?
19:42What are you doing?
19:42Your hands are like ice.
19:47You're dripping wet.
19:49Yeah, I, um...
19:51I just popped out to get some, um, chips.
19:54I want to have some chips.
19:57Where are they, then?
19:59What?
20:00The chips.
20:01Oh, um...
20:01Todd, your lips are turning blue.
20:04How long have you been out here?
20:05I feel the cold, don't I?
20:07I think you all said you'd had too much to drink.
20:12I did.
20:13No, you'd had one pint at most.
20:16You weren't drunk.
20:17I was.
20:19I saw how he seemed with you when you left.
20:25I, um...
20:25I'd been insensitive and, um...
20:27He called me on it.
20:28That was all.
20:30So what, he locked you out of the flat?
20:32No, of course not.
20:34Well, so then, can you explain to me why you're out here
20:36in the freezing cold, wet through, with no coat on,
20:38looking like you're one icy drink away from hypothermia
20:42and save me the lies about the chips?
20:47All right, yeah, we did have a bit of a tiff
20:50at the party.
20:53And then I went for a walk just to clear my head.
20:56About what?
20:58None of your business.
20:59All right, I'll go back home and everything will be all right.
21:05I...
21:05He just...
21:07He gets a bit...
21:10A bit what?
21:15He has certain...
21:17expectations of a relationship, that's all.
21:22I'm, um...
21:24You know, I'm, like, I'm selfish, inconsiderate.
21:29Kind.
21:30Loving.
21:31Loyal.
21:33Feels lucky to have you.
21:38What is he to my flat?
21:40Take it.
21:42For next time.
21:48I've got to get back.
21:49No, Todd.
21:49Todd.
21:52I've got to get back.
21:56I've got to get back.
21:58I'm not.
21:59Hello.
22:02Thanks.
22:03I've got to get back.
22:05I've got to get back.
22:07Enjoy.
22:12And happy.
22:14Myppt2知' is a good one.
22:14You know, Harry, I've got to do that.
22:16I have to take a little while.
22:17Tell me, all my little books.
22:18I've got to do that.
22:19I've got to get back.
22:20You know, I got to get back.
22:21Transcription by CastingWords
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