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00:00Special, starring Mark Pritch, Trent McClellan, Abba Amakwondo, Stacey McGonagall, Chris Wilson,
00:11with Mark McKinney, Adam Baldwin, Craig Toomey, Dan Dillabao, Isabella Campbell.
00:19Appearances by Pierre Polyev, Justin Trudeau, Xavier Trudeau, Sarah McLachlan,
00:26Choir, Choir, Choir, Fifth Naked, Elamin Abdel-Mahmoud, The Beaches, Brad Gushu, Brad Jacobs, Rachel Homin, Dominic LeBlanc, Stephen Guibault, Ali Hassan, Don Davies, Nahid Nenshi, and more.
00:41The 22-Minutes New Year's Eve Pre-Game Special starts now.
00:45Welcome to the 22-Minutes New Year's Eve Pre-Game Special.
00:56Tonight, we've invited the whole country over to hang out with us.
00:59And no talking about politics. We'll take care of that.
01:03So come in, take off your coat, and throw it on the bed with the other $40 million.
01:08Grab a beverage, get comfortable. We do not have enough chairs.
01:12Over the next hour, we'll be looking ahead to 2026 and deciding whether we should just fast-forward to 2027.
01:20But first, we'll say, see you in hell, 2025. Or, I mean, a fond farewell.
01:26So much happened this year. Let's relive it, shall we?
01:30Let's not.
01:30Oh, roll it!
01:31Okay.
01:332025, a year that started with a fond farewell and a less fond, who the hell let you back in here?
01:40Donald Trump returned to the White House.
01:43This time, he was going to show the world he always gets what he wants.
01:47He put every country on notice.
01:49It was time to play by his rules, including the dress code.
01:53No country was safe, especially not Canada.
01:56What I'd like to see Canada become our 51st state.
01:59We were shocked and confused, asking questions like,
02:03Huh? That artificial line that looks like it was done with a ruler, and what kind of ruler looks like this?
02:11But Canadians were ready to fight back.
02:13Donald, even though you're a very smart guy, this is a very dumb thing to do.
02:20And if anyone knows a dumb thing to do, it's Justin Trudeau.
02:24The whole country was united against Trump's threats, from our leaders to our celebrities.
02:28Even our wildlife got into the ring.
02:31Everyone was on board.
02:33Well, almost everyone.
02:35There was one Canadian who noticeably kept his elbows down.
02:38Pierre can't read the room.
02:40Polyev ignored the rise of patriotism and stayed on his message of,
02:44This place sucks.
02:45Everything in Canada is broken.
02:46Canada is broken.
02:47Everything is broken in Canada.
02:49His inability to pivot saw his conservatives lose a massive lead and ultimately the election.
02:55Pierre accepted defeat, graciously stepping down as leader.
02:58Just kidding.
02:59He ran in a by-election in the most conservative riding in the country to regain a seat in the house.
03:03While Polyev was going full rodeo clown, the new Prime Minister, Mark Carney, seen here running for his life, got down.
03:10Then he got down to work.
03:12He hopped on the charm offensive with the Donalds, and it worked.
03:15I like Carney a lot.
03:17I think he's a good, good person.
03:19Trump doesn't even say that about his wife or children.
03:21Meanwhile, Canadians kept their elbows up, buying Canadian, selling their U.S. properties, and cancelling their vacations south of the border,
03:30no matter how much America wanted us to visit.
03:34Things were going well.
03:36A trade deal seemed imminent until one man blew it all up.
03:40Doug Ford got creative, and Donald Trump lost it, putting any chance of a deal on hold.
03:45I'll never apologize to Donald Trump, ever.
03:48If they put me on a stretching rack, I wouldn't apologize.
03:52Thankfully, Canadians had some heroes to lift our spirits.
03:56The Jays went back to the World Series, uniting the country and giving us the perfect metaphor for 2025.
04:02As the year drew to a close, we witnessed the improbable.
04:06Conservatives turning into liberals.
04:07And liberals turning popular in Alberta.
04:10In the end, 2025 taught us that anything is possible.
04:15And that's not always a good thing.
04:19Welcome.
04:20So, we got some punch, chips.
04:23Oh, and you guys have a shrimp ring, too.
04:25Oh, yeah, get into it.
04:26I shouldn't.
04:27Maybe I'll have a couple, because they are so good.
04:30They are good.
04:31Yeah.
04:33It's big shrimping, baby.
04:37Yeah, yeah.
04:40Cocktail sauce.
04:45You know I tail them, bang them, dip them, slurp them, because that's how bad I need them.
04:49Take them out of the sea, put them into me, so no one else can eat them.
04:53They catch them, fresh them, freeze them.
04:55It's all about it's shrimp season.
04:56I had seconds, but I'm going for thirds.
04:59You ate 14 shrimp?
05:01It wasn't only me.
05:02Slow down.
05:03Okay, I promise.
05:04But I trust that I did bring a backup shrimp ring.
05:10Even eat the butts, flitted in my guts, then it's burp, burp, and I'm throwing them up now.
05:13Right.
05:17Right.
05:20Amanda, stop.
05:21You're making yourself sick.
05:22Just shut up and let me party, okay?
05:24This isn't how people party.
05:25Whatever.
05:26It's fine.
05:26It's all gone now.
05:27Uh, did someone here order eight shrimp rings?
05:31We talking big shrimp in on New Year's Eve.
05:35Check them out now.
05:36Big shrimp in, got toss up my sleeve.
05:38We doing big shrimp in, it's my M.Y.E. thing.
05:42Big shrimp in, got food poisoning.
05:49Oh, oh.
05:51Why don't you guys let me do that?
05:54Ah, you just all watch me eat so much shrimp.
06:00Prime Minister Kearney must have been a good boy this year because he got the gift he wanted,
06:04another seat in the House.
06:06Former Conservative MP Michael Ma crossed over to the Liberals and attended their holiday
06:10party literally the day after attending the Conservative Party.
06:13He double-dipped holiday parties.
06:15He would have gone to three, but the NDPs didn't have official party status.
06:19The Conservatives were quick to call out Ma's party fouls.
06:25Conservative MP Kurt Holman, who wrote,
06:28Hey, Kurt Holman, it's called Secret Santa.
06:45The Prime Minister made it clear that Conservative MPs are more than welcome at the Liberal Party.
06:49You are going to have a much better time spending Christmas with us than Christmas with the Cranks.
06:59We are all about Santa, not about the Grinch.
07:04And what happened then?
07:05Well, in Ottawa, we hear the Kearney minority grew two seats that year.
07:09The true meaning of Christmas is crossing the floor.
07:12Now for his majority, he just needs one more.
07:15Oh my God, this is Pierre's worst New Year's party yet.
07:23You think so? Remember 2021?
07:25We had to help him put his contacts in.
07:27This one's worse.
07:28Look around.
07:29We're at a loser party.
07:31Maybe we should go to the Liberal Party.
07:33Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
07:34Isn't this party something, team?
07:36No music, fully lit, hard chairs.
07:39I love it.
07:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:41Too bad some of the group left for the Liberal Party.
07:44Traitorous scum.
07:45Yeah, I hate traitorous scum.
07:47Plus, I heard the party sucks anyway.
07:48You know, open bar.
07:50Can you imagine enjoying a drink you didn't earn?
07:53Yeah.
07:54Plus, new year, new Pierre.
07:57I'm nice and I'm fun now.
08:00You guys want to play my favorite party game?
08:02Eye test.
08:03Maybe in a bit.
08:04Okay, you're missing out.
08:06Don Tremont just texted me and they are currently doing body shots off of Mark Carney's abs.
08:13And whoever leaves now gets to be Minister of Transportation.
08:16Oh, that's one of the easy ones.
08:17Hey, we are true blue conservatives.
08:19We're not going to have fun at the Liberal Party.
08:21It'll be too woke.
08:22No, they've changed, okay?
08:24Apparently, every drink comes with a plastic straw.
08:27Oh.
08:28I don't know this.
08:29P-E-Z-O-L-C-F-T-D.
08:34Nice.
08:34Yes.
08:35Nailed it.
08:36You know what?
08:37I spent all of 2025 being a loser.
08:39And I will not go into 2026 a loser.
08:41I'm switching parties.
08:42What?
08:42No.
08:43I knew it.
08:44Still nearsighted.
08:45You guys want to check?
08:46Oh, did she leave?
08:47That's fine.
08:48Good riddance.
08:49It's fine.
08:50We'll turn it up.
08:51We can have some fun.
08:52Tequila shots.
08:53Sure.
08:53Yeah, sure.
08:54I don't have tequila.
08:55I never bought it.
08:56Never had it.
08:57But we can lick salt.
08:59Put your hands out.
09:01All right, lick them.
09:01Come on.
09:02Here we go.
09:02Let's lick it up.
09:03Oh.
09:04Cheers.
09:05Eye contact.
09:05Eye contact.
09:07Whoa.
09:08Oh, wow.
09:09Yeah.
09:09Okay.
09:10Who needs a lime?
09:11Oh.
09:12You guys have got to switch parties.
09:15Okay?
09:15It's so much fun.
09:16The rule is you take a shot every time you say the name of a company Carney has financial interest
09:21in.
09:22Wasted.
09:27All right.
09:28You guys can go.
09:29Go on.
09:31New Pierre can also admit when he's lost.
09:34Yeah.
09:34Have fun.
09:35Maybe I can join?
09:37Oh.
09:38It might be like a little weird.
09:40Awkward.
09:40Yeah.
09:41Next year.
09:42Oh, next year.
09:42Yeah.
09:43Yeah, I like that.
09:44Next year.
09:44Cool.
09:45Bye.
09:45Bye.
09:46Yeah.
09:47All right.
09:48Counting down a woman's biological clock.
09:50Ten.
09:51Nine.
09:51Eight.
09:52The Oscars, the Junos, the Nobels.
09:58Imagine, if you will, an award more important than all of those combined times two.
10:03Now, stop imagining it's real.
10:0622 Minutes presents our first ever Best of the Year awards, the 22-ies.
10:12Here's Trent with our first award of the night.
10:15This fall, the Toronto Blue Jays united and electrified Canadians with their incredible
10:19postseason run.
10:20And a lot of people jumped on the bandwagon.
10:23Like Pierre Polyef showing he's not a hat guy.
10:27And Geddy Lee, who let the Jays get closer to his heart.
10:30And we think that's Eugene Levy.
10:33Tilt back that brim.
10:33Let's see those brows.
10:35But one fan truly embodied just how jacked, how juiced, how pumped we all were about the
10:41team this year.
10:42The 22-ie for biggest Jays fan goes to the incredibly ripped guy behind home plate, Dean
10:48Angelo.
10:50I just want to thank the 22-ies for being the biggest Jays fan in 2025.
10:56I know there's so many other dedicated Blue Jays fans out there.
11:00But I'm honored to just be the human representation of just how jacked up Canada was for the
11:05this past Jays season.
11:06I hope Adam Gray has a great New Year.
11:08Go Jays.
11:13Happy New Year.
11:142025.
11:16What a year.
11:16Am I right?
11:17LA wildfires.
11:18Russia, Ukraine, Gaza.
11:20In China, they call it the year of the snake.
11:23My kind of year, quite frankly.
11:25A lot of people are saying it was the best year ever.
11:28It was incredible.
11:29Wasn't it?
11:30Beautiful tariffs.
11:31A new White House ballroom.
11:33And the first American pope.
11:35We won pope.
11:36We got golden pope.
11:37Which we will now call pop.
11:39And we'll make the Vatican estate.
11:40Believe me, we really will.
11:43And the Epstein list came out.
11:44A bestseller.
11:45And I'm not in it.
11:46I have nothing to hide.
11:47Have a look.
11:49Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
11:50Clinton.
11:52Yes, 2025 was the best year ever.
11:55But, sir, they tell me it has to go away now.
11:57Because it's New Year's Eve.
11:59Well, they told me I lost the election.
12:01And that I had to go away.
12:02And look how that turned out.
12:042025 is not going anywhere.
12:07Just like I renamed the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.
12:11I declare 2026 will stay 2025.
12:16Why change it?
12:17What's the difference between Father Time and Baby New Year?
12:20One can barely talk or walk and wears a diaper.
12:23And the other is Baby New Year.
12:25He's a disaster.
12:26And so I signed a new executive order.
12:29The It is still 2025 executive order.
12:34Signed by me or by myself some beautiful letters.
12:37It's not writing.
12:37They tell me.
12:38It's calligraphy is the correct word.
12:41Time is a hoax put upon us by Big Clock.
12:44And we won't fall for it anymore.
12:46It will now be 2025 for the next year and maybe the year after that.
12:51And perhaps forever, to be frank.
12:53Because then it will also always be my second term.
12:56And I will always be president.
12:58So it's 2025 no matter what anyone says.
13:01And ICE is coming for Baby New Year.
13:03So happy year.
13:05Just year.
13:06Happy year.
13:12International diplomacy was crucial in 2025.
13:15Our next award is for Canadian Diplomat of the Year.
13:19The runners-up were Alberta Premier Danielle Smith.
13:22Who went to Mar-a-Lago with the intention of becoming the first governor of Alberta.
13:27And raised the question, can you have a meeting of the minds with no minds present?
13:33Next, Mike Myers for infiltrating American media to unleash our most potent rallying cry.
13:40Still silent about the trade war?
13:42Garth.
13:42But the 22E for Canadian Diplomat of the Year has to go to our loudest, brashest one, Doug
13:50Ford, who reanimated the corpse of Ronald Reagan in an explosive ad that fully stopped Trump
13:57from negotiating with us.
13:59And of course, Ford launched the most iconic Canadian hat since Molson put a free one in
14:04a 2-4.
14:05Doug couldn't be here to accept the award, but we sent it to him along with a bottle of
14:11Crown Royal.
14:12Hopefully, he enjoyed it.
14:14So, this is what I think about Crown Royal.
14:17That's what they could do.
14:19And I think everyone else should do the same thing.
14:21Every New Year's Day, thousands of Canadians will jump into a freezing body of water.
14:35And no, they're not fleeing the authorities or in a suicide cult.
14:39These freaks do it for fun.
14:41Polar plunges are getting huge, which is why my boss asked me to do one for the show.
14:47I said yes, because I didn't read the email that closely.
14:52No, wait.
14:53No, no.
14:54No, no, no, no, no.
14:55Can I get a doctor's note to get out of a polar plunge?
14:59Uh, not without a valid medical reason, Dan.
15:01No, man.
15:02This is like, we can turn the cameras off, but I just need you to be cool with me.
15:07You're perfectly fit for doing a polar plunge.
15:11If I was going to do this, I would need help from some professional plungers.
15:15The toughest, roughest people in the Halifax metro area.
15:20Dan!
15:21Hello.
15:23Who are you?
15:24We're the Rainbow Haven Mermaids.
15:26We are about to jump into the Atlantic Ocean in the middle of winter.
15:31Uh, why?
15:33Why?
15:34It's good for your soul.
15:35It's good for your body.
15:36It just makes you feel so much better.
15:38This is the worst thing the show has ever made me do.
15:41That's enough talk.
15:43Let's get in the ocean.
15:44Oh, no.
15:46No, no, no, no.
15:48We can wait.
15:49We can wait.
15:49We can't wait.
16:04I can't really get the temperature up.
16:13Oh, everything hurts.
16:15What wouldn't I give for a riptide to just drag me under right now?
16:21I don't usually recommend this, but I think if we all pee at the same time,
16:26we can get the temperature up a little bit.
16:28You're just turning red. Wait till you turn blue.
16:31Oh, yeah.
16:32Oh, that's reassuring.
16:33As the hypothermia caused my brain to shut down, I realized something.
16:36A new year is a time to say yes to things that scare you,
16:39whether it's new experiences or new aquatic parasites
16:42or new temperatures you didn't think were scientifically possible.
16:45Okay, we did it.
16:48So for everyone taking a plunge into the unknown,
16:50Happy New Year, and I'll see you in the emergency room.
16:53For 22 Minutes, I'm Dan Dillebeau.
16:59Our next award is for Worst Comeback of the Year.
17:02Honorable Mention goes to Trump 2.0.
17:05We thought no comeback would be so painful as the re-inauguration of old spotty hand prosciutto neck.
17:11But then we saw the Dodgers come back in the ninth inning of Game 7.
17:15We'd have a joke here, but too soon.
17:17This year saw one comeback that really shouldn't have happened.
17:21The winner for Worst Comeback of 2025 is...
17:24Measles!
17:25Get on up here, Measles!
17:27Well, thank you.
17:33You've made an old disease very happy.
17:37See you at the after party.
17:39I'll be mingling.
17:40Right this way.
17:41We're saying goodbye to 2025, and though a lot of people are saying good riddance, it wasn't all bad, I'm asking Canadians what moments they most want to relive from 2025.
17:58Geez, yeah, the elbows up thing was great.
18:01Elbows up.
18:02Yeah.
18:03Experiencing snow and experiencing autumn, spring, winter.
18:07Moving in with my partner.
18:09I think that was a really good highlight of the year.
18:11Congratulations.
18:13Also moving in with his partner.
18:15Game 7 of the World Series.
18:18Or Game 6.
18:19Maybe Game 5.
18:20I just came back from Japan.
18:22Oh.
18:23I wouldn't mind doing that again.
18:24I want to relive the moment that the life of a showgirl came out.
18:28Me and my friend went on a great kayaking trip on the ocean.
18:30Being with my friends, so sharing those memories with them.
18:33Honestly, same with me, reliving all the moments with my best friends.
18:372025 had the power of friendship.
18:39Yeah.
18:40We asked some friends around the country what they thought of 2025.
18:43If I could relive any moment of 2025, it would be watching my mom try skeleton for the first time.
18:48Blue Jays run through September and October.
18:51I know it's not one moment, but it was pretty amazing watching those guys play.
18:54How about, yes, summertime, diving in the lake at night, and looking up at the stars.
19:01Yeah.
19:02I would, uh, I would have that again, please.
19:04When that phone call comes, um, to say, you got a season three and we're gonna shoot on the state.
19:11I wish I had one of those calls every day, actually.
19:13It would definitely be getting my first hole-in-one at golf.
19:17I even still got the ball.
19:18The last shot to win the 2025 Montana's Briar and extending right to when I got to celebrate and hug my wife and kids.
19:25Some of my most cherished moments are when I get to bring my 10-year-old daughter Cassidy with me to work and show her how we're creating opportunities and empowering women and girls across the country.
19:36The one week of memes that we got from the Coldplay Kiss Cam.
19:40Absolutely iconic.
19:42At the Badlands Amphitheatre, in Drumheller, surrounded by the hoodoos, listening to the amazing voice of good Alberta girl, Jan Arden.
19:51Just the excitement of being able to represent Canada and get gold back-to-back years.
19:56Headlining Scotiabank Arena and just celebrating that night with all our friends and family, it was the best night ever.
20:01Hell yeah.
20:02It would be holding my older son, Arlie, as he wept after the Jays lost Game 7.
20:07And with that hug, I welcomed him into what it is to be a Toronto sportsman.
20:12Any moment other than election day.
20:15Oh, our Spotify raps just got released. Who's your most listened to artist?
20:22Please don't be Coldplay. Please don't be Coldplay. Coldplay.
20:26I got Tabrida Carpenter. I'm basic.
20:29I knew it. 40,000 minutes of music and all of it? Zav.
20:33Who's Zav?
20:34You don't know Zav? Like Xavier Trudeau?
20:37Like former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's son?
20:40To me, he's actually Xavier Trudeau's father, but yes.
20:43Have you listened to the new album?
20:45No.
20:46Just the old stuff then?
20:47None of the stuff.
20:48You guys have to get on board. Zav is next up.
20:50Zav is not next up.
20:51What does he sound like?
20:52He's like The Weeknd if The Weeknd was Justin Trudeau's son. Listen.
21:01Stop grinding to Zav.
21:03If you want like the true Zav listening experience...
21:05We don't.
21:06Then you have to see him live. I saw him live last month and it was lit-y.
21:10Everyone was there. Melanie Jolie, Francois Philippe Champagne, Mark Miller.
21:15Cabinet ministers were there.
21:17And Chrystia Freeland's nephew is producing his next album.
21:20Is this a tax write-off thing or something?
21:22Oh my god.
21:23Okay, because I'm his number one fan, I get a personalized message from him.
21:26Hey girl, it's Zav. Thank you for being my number one fan.
21:29Can you come pick me up at the Bayshore Shopping Center?
21:32I'm coming Zav!
21:34I'm so sorry.
21:35Wow.
21:36I know.
21:37Stop humming Zav.
21:41It's not catchy though.
21:43Some holiday traditions haven't changed since you were a kid.
21:50Like a cold glass of eggnog.
21:53And some traditions are a little newer.
21:56Like a warm shot of Baileys Irish cream.
21:59So this holiday season, add a little Baileys to your eggnog.
22:05And make some new memories with the ones you love.
22:08Turn your Christmas day into an unforgettable Christmas night.
22:13Because what's eggnog without a splash of Baileys? God sorry.
22:18And if you're making one, why not make...
22:24Why not make two?
22:25I've actually had three.
22:27Yeah, I've had three.
22:28I've had three as well.
22:29Yeah.
22:30Do you think I might actually be lactose intolerant?
22:33Yeah, I think I might be lactose intolerant too.
22:35And we really just maxed out on milk and green, didn't we?
22:39Yeah.
22:40Why do we do this to ourselves?
22:42Are we going to be like this forever?
22:44I don't know.
22:45I don't know.
22:46I don't know.
22:47Oh, God.
22:48I gotta go.
22:49I gotta go.
22:50Bailey's an eggnog.
22:52Hey, maybe one of you should sleep on the couch tonight.
23:052025 was a year of discovery for the country.
23:08We discovered we can vacation in Canada.
23:11Who needs Disney World when you can see the world's largest acts
23:14in Nackawick, New Brunswick.
23:17We discovered what made in Canada really means.
23:20It means designed in Canada, produced in Vietnam, packaged in Malaysia,
23:25delivered by Amazon, and then eaten over the sink.
23:29But no one discovered more this year than Pierre Polyev.
23:33He discovered there's no such thing as a comfortable lead.
23:36He discovered a new writing.
23:38He even discovered 22 Minutes.
23:40And just in time for the press gallery dinner, it seems he discovered a sense of humor.
23:45The Discovery Award for 2025 goes to Pierre Polyev.
23:49Congratulations.
23:51Thank you for this hour is 22 Minutes for this beautiful award.
23:55And a special thanks to Timu Mi.
23:58I appreciate witty and sharp political comedy.
24:02And whatever it is that you do.
24:042025 was a big year of discovery for us all, wasn't it?
24:08I discovered my sense of humor.
24:10Your very own Chris Wilson discovered that he could survive for 90 minutes in a basement bank vault with me,
24:16which was a direct violation of the United Nations Convention Against Torture.
24:21You know, I thought of reciprocating this award by giving you one as well,
24:25but with grocery prices so madly out of control,
24:29I decided to donate to the local food bank in your honor instead.
24:33Tis, after all, the season for giving.
24:36And so I announce a gift for you for 2026.
24:40I will be giving you lots more material to work with.
24:43God knows you need it.
24:44So happy new year.
24:46Bon an air to us.
24:48See, unlike some people, I can speak a little French.
24:54Thank you so much for coming to the party, Eddie.
24:56A lot of people.
24:57Oh, yeah.
24:58You can just throw your jacket on the pile.
24:59Yeah.
25:00I guess I'll just toss it on the pile.
25:02Yeah.
25:03Oh, geez Louise.
25:05Is there a person in there?
25:06Hey gang, down here.
25:08So short story long, I showed up to the party way too early.
25:11Maximum tanked.
25:13So I had to pass out on the old Tempur-Pedic.
25:15And then everyone just assumed I was the pile of coats.
25:18You really are giving a pile of coats.
25:21That's so nice, man.
25:22And now naturally everyone's just tossing their Patagonias on top of me.
25:26So, uh, looks like I'm ringing in the new year with the coats, baby.
25:30Oh, hey girl.
25:31Oh, load it up buttercup.
25:33Honestly, it feels like Shiatsu massage down here.
25:35I'll help you get out of here.
25:36I'll help you get out of here.
25:37No, no.
25:38Don't move the coats.
25:39You serious?
25:40Yeah, you move the coats and then I gotta join the party.
25:42I gotta get all social, be more present.
25:44Yeah.
25:45This way, you know, I'm at the party, but I'm also in bed.
25:48So it's like the best of both worlds.
25:50You gotta punch through some L.O. beans and get my phone arm free,
25:54and then I'm cooking with gas.
25:55Hey, Roz.
25:56Whoa, is that a parka?
25:58Are you parking a Ford F-150 on my sternum?
26:01It's just a little coat humor for you guys.
26:04Oh, Houston, we got a phone arm.
26:07Well, um, if you're good, I might just go join the party.
26:11Oh, yeah.
26:12Come on, guys.
26:13We're about to share personal highlights from the year that was.
26:16It will be very moving.
26:22I'm gonna get in the coats.
26:23I might join the gentlemen's here.
26:25Come on in.
26:26Get into the pile of blood.
26:27Welcome.
26:28It's awesome.
26:32It's New Year's Eve and you need some tips.
26:35Welcome to Chris's New Year's Eve Tips.
26:39Hi, and welcome to Chris's New Year's Eve Tips.
26:42Today on the show, we're to—oh, I'm Chris, by the way.
26:46Today on the show, we're talking opening champagne.
26:49We've all seen it.
26:50It's New Year's Eve and someone opens up a bottle of champagne
26:54with a sword, and you think,
26:56I wish I could do that.
26:57How'd he do that?
26:59Well, I'm here to tell you, you can do that.
27:02It's so easy, and most importantly, it's super safe.
27:06To open a champagne bottle with a sword,
27:09simply take your champagne, tuck it firmly underneath your arm,
27:13just like so.
27:14Next, we're gonna grab our sword without looking.
27:16Hold it firmly with your hand, and—oh, my God!
27:19Oh, my God!
27:20Oh, my God!
27:21Ah!
27:22Oh, that's so much blood!
27:23Oh, this sucks so much!
27:26Sorry about that.
27:27What you're gonna want to do is grab the sword by the handle.
27:32Then you're gonna take the champagne and tuck it tightly under your arm.
27:36Like, oh!
27:37Oh, my God!
27:38Oh, shoot!
27:39Oh!
27:40Opening up a champagne bottle with a sword is stupid,
27:46and frankly, quite dangerous.
27:48So let's open up the champagne the normal way.
27:52Grab your champagne, hold it firmly under your arm,
27:55remove the foil, remove the cage,
27:58and now you're gonna want to pull slowly up on the court.
28:02One good pull!
28:04Ah!
28:05One good!
28:06One good!
28:07Oh!
28:08Oh!
28:09What?!
28:10Why?!
28:11Oh, shoot!
28:12Ah!
28:13Ah!
28:14Shoot!
28:15Okay, so I'm gonna be guiding this man through opening a bottle of champagne.
28:25What you're gonna do is grab the champagne and tuck it under your arm.
28:29Yep.
28:30You're gonna remove the foil.
28:31Now you're gonna want to remove the cage.
28:33Yep.
28:34A little faster, though.
28:35Now, you're going to slowly pull the cork out.
28:38Just twist.
28:39Just...
28:40Okay, okay.
28:41Yep.
28:42Just a little faster, though.
28:43And then...
28:44Let me do it.
28:45Just let me do it.
28:46Ah!
28:47Ah!
28:48Ah!
28:49Ah!
28:50Ah!
28:51Ah!
28:52Ah!
28:54I just want to show people how to have a Happy New Year's.
28:57All right.
28:58This is my last bottle,
28:59and we all know what's gonna happen now.
29:01So let me just demonstrate the steps,
29:02and then we can all go home.
29:03Take off the foil.
29:05Remove the cage.
29:08Slowly twist.
29:09Hop.
29:10And...
29:14Okay.
29:15This one actually might be a little bit flat.
29:17That's what happened there.
29:19But that's how you do it.
29:20So, uh, Happy New Year.
29:23Nothing more to say.
29:24Uh, thanks for watching.
29:26So, yeah.
29:27I guess we'll just, uh, clean up.
29:29If you want to take this and the other bottles,
29:31and put them in recycling,
29:32and then, um...
29:33Yeah, I'll take the sword...
29:34Oh!
29:35Oh!
29:36Oh!
29:37Oh!
29:44Great party, guys.
29:45I'm gonna head out.
29:47Just gonna grab these.
29:49Ah, please.
29:53Well, well, well.
29:55Looks like Kevin here's leaving the party.
29:58You wouldn't happen to be leaving with the beers
30:00that you brought to the party, would you, Kevin?
30:02Oh, uh, I bought these.
30:04I just didn't finish them.
30:05Oh, we bought them!
30:06Heh.
30:07That's funny.
30:08Yeah.
30:09That's funny to me, too,
30:10because they're at the party now,
30:12which means they belong to the party.
30:14What?
30:15Yeah, you see, that's the rules of a party.
30:18You bring it to the party,
30:19you leave it at the party.
30:20That's the rules.
30:21Think of it as a donation.
30:24But they're mine.
30:25Why can't I take them?
30:26Because it's cheap, Kevin!
30:27Larry!
30:28Larry!
30:29Stop yelling!
30:30You're scaring me!
30:31It's all right, babe.
30:32We're just having a conversation, aren't we?
30:34Yeah?
30:36Wait.
30:37Is Kevin taking his extra beers from the fridge?
30:40Oh, my God, Kevin, you're so frickin' cheap!
30:43You broke the party rules!
30:45And now you've gone and upset my wife.
30:47I'm upset!
30:48It's a dirty thing to do.
30:50Why the big deal?
30:51It's just four beers.
30:52Did you not partake in the offerings, Kevin?
30:54He partook.
30:55I saw him partook.
30:57Then what you should do is par-leave the beer.
31:00A lot of people brought a lot of things,
31:02except ice, and that's been a bit of an issue.
31:05You drank of the communal punch.
31:08You ate four shrimp from my ring!
31:12It's three, Max.
31:13You counted my shrimp?
31:15You over-shrimped!
31:16So now I gotta know how you could go and do something like this
31:20to such gracious hosts as me and my wife!
31:23We're very gracious!
31:24It's a party foul, Kevin.
31:27Now talk!
31:28Okay, I'm cheap!
31:29Is that what you want me to say?
31:30I'm a cheap person!
31:31Thank you, Kevin.
31:34I admire a man who can admit when he's wrong.
31:40You're still gonna take them, aren't you?
31:45I mean, I bought them.
31:47Why are people like this?
31:50You're sick!
31:52Why are people like this?
31:54Just leave what you brought.
31:56Happy New Year!
31:57A new year starts tomorrow and no one knows what it's gonna bring,
32:03so I'm asking Canadians what their hopes and dreams are for 2026.
32:07Ooh!
32:08Maybe a new cat.
32:09Yeah.
32:10Maybe another cat.
32:11Maybe a third cat.
32:12A third cat?
32:13Skiing and exploring our country and yeah, yeah.
32:17You're gonna shred the gnar, hey?
32:18Yeah.
32:19Whatever that is.
32:20I don't know.
32:21I think if we could just talk to each other a little bit more and compromise.
32:25Be more positive.
32:26Yeah.
32:27For 2026, yes.
32:28I would say solidarity.
32:30I really hope that we can really connect and just really find and dig deep as to what
32:34makes us the greatest country in the world.
32:37Bring on 2026!
32:39You heard Canadians.
32:40This year we're hoping for world peace, unity, and a Canadian team to win a championship.
32:45We asked some notable Canadians around the country, what are your hopes for 2026?
32:492026 is an Olympic year and my wish is for Team Canada.
32:53Go Canada, go.
32:54Bring home the gold.
32:55Experience the Toronto Temple live.
32:57We're Canada's team.
32:58Come to a game.
32:59I wish everyone happy holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and perhaps no N.Y.
33:04between the federal government and Alberta.
33:06Take a moment to take a look around you and spend a bit more time with art that is made
33:10in this country.
33:11Canada is beautiful, stunning, and Canadians are so diverse, so amazing.
33:16So the opportunity to just explore our own country.
33:19And to see one another going up and down the aisles of the grocery stores looking for
33:23those made in Canada labels.
33:25To be open and compassionate and always try and seek out the good in each other.
33:29Continue to forge our own identity, not just in reaction to our neighbours, but as the
33:36incredible nation that we are.
33:39I'd like to see more elbows up.
33:44It's good for the lats and the delts.
33:47But most of all, love yourself today.
33:51Irish Canadians many proud moments watching Canadian Paralympians performing at their best.
33:56And now it's time to present the biggest award of the night.
34:08The 22E Lifetime Achievement Award for making our jobs easier.
34:13And there's only one person in the country this could go to.
34:16Justin Trudeau.
34:17I'm not rid of you yet.
34:18I can't quit you.
34:19Former Prime Minister, you've done so much for comedy in this country.
34:28No one has generated more headlines or, no offence, done stupider things than you.
34:34From your early work of having great hair and a free musketeer's goatee, planking and just
34:41wandering the country shirtless.
34:43To your later work of being the cringiest dad at a Taylor Swift concert.
34:47Doing a full Canada's Got Talent at the Queen's funeral.
34:50Or wearing jeans on a yacht.
34:53You've generated so many punchlines and we cannot thank you enough.
34:57So we'd like to present you with this Lifetime Achievement Award.
35:03Thank you for recognizing that every misstep, every headline, every pair of socks was all
35:09about supporting the CBC, supporting Canadian comedy and supporting your great show, Royal
35:15Canadian Air Force.
35:16President, 22 minutes.
35:17I stopped watching when Rick left.
35:20This is an award that I'm pleased to have, that I'm honoured to display.
35:26I seem to have misplaced it already.
35:29But I take it in honour of this, your final episode.
35:33Final.
35:39And now, a message from Prime Minister Mark Carney.
35:43Oh, hi Canada.
35:47Apologies.
35:48You caught me in my pajamas.
35:51Happy New Year.
35:52And more importantly, happy end of Q4 to all.
35:582025 was a big year.
36:01Canadians did the smartest thing they have ever done.
36:04Elected me.
36:05In a world of little boys, you chose a big daddy.
36:10And you made a lot of sacrifices this year, like American booze or your cute little manufacturing jobs.
36:16But I sacrifice too.
36:19Do you know how much a public servant makes?
36:22I'm living paycheck to 400K paycheck.
36:24400K!
36:25What even is that?
36:27It's barely worth sending offshore.
36:30Canada, look at you all.
36:33Cozy, by the fire.
36:34Full of fruitcake and, uh, Ferrero... Ferrero Roche...
36:38Chocolates.
36:39You're eating chocolates.
36:41How I wish I could be there to tell you in person, Christmas was a week ago.
36:49Put on a hard hat and get back to work.
36:51And hop on that Peloton while you're at it.
36:53We need you people in shape.
36:55Those minds aren't going to dig themselves.
36:57Now, it's also that time of year when we look for ways to improve ourselves.
37:01So let me briefly look inward for any character flaws.
37:05Scan completed, undetected.
37:10But I have a resolution for you, Canada.
37:13A reso-ution, if you will.
37:16Love thy neighbour.
37:17Especially if they're trying to build a pipeline through your living room.
37:20Are you listening, BC?
37:22Oh, another virtue is forgiveness.
37:25And I forgive you for not giving me the majority I asked you so nicely for.
37:30But it's not too late.
37:31Call your Conservative MP.
37:33Tell them to cross the floor and dive right in.
37:35The water's exactly the same.
37:38Because I am your humble, hockey-playing, good old boy, Prime Minister.
37:43And as soon as I get one more MP, my power will be absolute and unchecked.
37:47Fun!
37:48So, in conclusion, Happy New Year and Joyeux Bon Nouvelle Year French.
37:56Oh, and finally, a message for Donald J. Trump.
38:01Listen here, Mr. President.
38:03Please come back to the table.
38:05We'll give you a made-up peace prize.
38:07Oh, or maybe the Grey Cup.
38:09And I promise I won't put my elbows on the table.
38:12I don't even have elbows.
38:13What are these new days?
38:14What are these new days?
38:15What are they?
38:16What are they?
38:17Please?
38:18Please?
38:19What?
38:20Oh, ow!
38:23Good morning, and welcome to OW! New Year's Day.
38:29It's the annual game show where our contestant has to start a brand new year feeling the worst she's ever felt.
38:48I feel me sick.
38:50I feel me sick.
38:51This year's contestant is Rachel.
38:53She's a 33-year-old mother of two who drank 15 tequila shots before 11 p.m. last night.
39:00Let's begin.
39:01Now, remember, Rachel, some of these tasks are gonna feel like the hardest thing you've ever done in your life.
39:07Okay.
39:08Can I just lie here for a second?
39:10Rachel, you have 30 seconds to touch the floor with your feet.
39:13What?
39:14Find the floor and put your feet on it.
39:17Your 30 seconds starts now.
39:19That's the ceiling.
39:21I thought I was walking.
39:22No, you're not.
39:23Feet on the floor, Rachel.
39:26No, those are your hands.
39:28You can do it.
39:29And...
39:30Excellent job.
39:32Incredible work, Rachel.
39:33Now focus up because it's time to drink the glass of water you put beside your bed.
39:38I can't.
39:39Dehydration is no joke, Rachel.
39:41Water tastes so bad when you're hungover.
39:43Okay.
39:44It shouldn't.
39:45Oh.
39:46It shouldn't smell bad.
39:47It doesn't.
39:48It shouldn't.
39:53Bet that would have done a lot more good before 11 p.m. last night.
39:56So you don't have to rub it in.
39:57Your final task to win the jackpot is open your phone and see who you texted last night.
40:03What?
40:04I'm good.
40:05It's not really the first hangover of the year without crippling shame.
40:09Who did you text?
40:10And what did you say?
40:11Oh, my God.
40:12I texted my boss that he's like a father figure to me.
40:16Ugh!
40:17Oh, my God.
40:18I'm pathetic.
40:19Ding, ding.
40:20That's correct.
40:21You've won this year's edition of Ow!
40:24New Year's Day.
40:25What do I win?
40:26You get to watch the kids today.
40:28I'm way too hungover.
40:29Ugh.
40:30All right, Canada.
40:31Raise your glasses if you have them.
40:32We'd like to propose a toast.
40:33In 2026, may the price of your groceries never inflate.
40:46May your nation be sovereign, never a state.
40:49May the doctor you need be always on call.
40:52May your surgery not be performed in the hall.
40:55May your work be fulfilling, your wages be high.
40:58May your livelihood not be replaced by A.I.
41:01May our oceans not rise and our forests not burn.
41:04May the rich pay their taxes on the money they earn.
41:07May a cup overflow with love and joy in it.
41:10And may your hour always have 22 minutes.
41:14Cheers!
41:19Now, please enjoy Adam Baldwin.
41:22Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
41:39Should old acquaintance be forgot in the days of old lang syne?
41:50Oh, road lang syne, my dear.
41:57Oh, road lang syne.
42:03We'll take a cup of kindness, yes.
42:10Oh, road lang syne.
42:15For old lang syne.
42:16And surely you have brought your cup.
42:18And surely you have brought your cup.
42:24And surely I'll have mine.
42:33Kindness, yes, for Auld Lang Syne, for Auld Lang Syne, my dear, for Auld Lang Syne.
42:53We'll take a cup of Kindness, yes, for Auld Lang Syne, we'll take a cup of Kindness, yes, for Auld Lang Syne.
43:18That's the way we saw the world in 2025.
43:23Thanks for watching and Happy New Year.
43:25Keep tuning in Tuesday nights at 8 on CBC TV or stream us anytime on CBC Gem.
43:30Good night!
43:31Good night!
43:33Good night!
43:48Good night!
43:49Good night!
43:50Good night!
43:51Good night!
43:52Good night!
43:53Good night!
43:54Good night!
43:55Good night!
43:56Good night!
43:57Good night!
43:58Good night!
43:59Good night!
44:00Good night!
44:01Good night!
44:02Good night!
44:03Good night!
44:04Good night!
44:05Good night!
44:06Good night!
44:07Good night!
44:08Good night!
44:09Good night!
44:10Good night!
44:11Good night!
44:12Good night!
44:13Good night!
44:14Good night!
44:15Good night!
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