- 6 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the show where we talk about all the stuff in marriages that no one else will, and usually in a graphic manner.
00:00:48I'm your loyal host, Jill, with a G, Langer, and I will be your guide on this journey of self-discovery.
00:00:56We have one of our favorite guests joining us. She's definitely one of my favorites. You know her. You love her. That's right, folks. Dr. Greta.
00:01:06She is back to teach us how to talk dirty in the bedroom. And can I just say that I am so ready?
00:01:14Because if I have to have any more scheduled sex in order to make a baby, somebody's gonna lose their fucking mind. And that someone is me.
00:01:22Make me a little fucking cum-slash punk.
00:01:26Oh, God.
00:01:27Yeah!
00:01:28Yeah!
00:01:30Yeah!
00:01:33Yeah!
00:01:36Yeah!
00:01:38Yeah!
00:01:39Yeah.
00:01:43That didn't make a baby, I don't know what will.
00:02:10That was good, right?
00:02:12It was, uh, that dirty talk was new.
00:02:18Yeah, I learned it from the sexologist that we had on the show last week.
00:02:23What did you think?
00:02:25I think, uh, sexologist is not a real thing.
00:02:31Hey, it totally is to a real profession.
00:02:36Oh, yeah?
00:02:36Uh, but you majored in school, doggy style.
00:02:42Yeah, probably cunnilingus and other things.
00:02:46Okay.
00:02:49January 13th, three-ish.
00:02:55Jack has been consumed with sex to get pregnant,
00:02:58so I thought I would spice it up a little bit with some dirty talk,
00:03:01courtesy of Dr. Greta from episode 24.
00:03:07I thought it was hot.
00:03:09Jack seemed a little confused.
00:03:11Not confused.
00:03:12The only confusing part was how my wife of 20 years turned into a cum slut.
00:03:17Jack is normally a little more reserved in bed.
00:03:22Can you wrap it up, please?
00:03:23They're going to be here any minute.
00:03:24It's my job.
00:03:25I'll be done in a second.
00:03:31Oh, shit, that's hot.
00:03:33Don't burn your pussy.
00:03:34Oh, too late.
00:03:37Hey, what are you doing?
00:03:39Huh?
00:03:39What are you doing now?
00:03:41Where's the outfit?
00:03:43Oh, I'm not wearing that.
00:03:44No, Jack, you promised.
00:03:47I'll look ridiculous.
00:03:49No, you won't.
00:03:53You'll look hot.
00:03:57You think the chef heard us?
00:03:59No way, this house is huge.
00:04:03You're walking so fast, I can't move in these things.
00:04:06Now you know how I feel when I wear Spanx.
00:04:09Beauty is pain, baby.
00:04:11How do people wear these?
00:04:14God, I look like Enrique Iglesias' accountant.
00:04:23Okay, let's just get a quick selfie.
00:04:25Oh, yeah.
00:04:26In front of the sign.
00:04:28Oh, wait a minute.
00:04:29Hold on, let me just get this a little.
00:04:31What are you doing?
00:04:31Here we go.
00:04:32No.
00:04:33No, come on, they want us together wearing their shit, looking hot, so.
00:04:37Oh, you can't post this, sweetie.
00:04:38Yes, I have to post this, sweetie.
00:04:39No, no, no, no, no.
00:04:40Come on, just give me one.
00:04:41Give me one good one, baby.
00:04:42I know you got it in.
00:04:43My students are going to see this.
00:04:44All right, got it, you got it.
00:04:46Crushing it.
00:04:48Okay, which one do you like?
00:04:51Uh, what?
00:04:52This one.
00:04:53Great.
00:04:53Great.
00:04:54Yes, loving it.
00:04:55Okay, fine.
00:04:56I thought you were taking the night off.
00:04:57I am going to take the night off.
00:04:58I just, you know, the night hasn't started yet, and I need to post a photo really quickly.
00:05:03Right.
00:05:04Posting.
00:05:04I have to do this really quickly.
00:05:07Happy birthday.
00:05:08Post it.
00:05:09There you are.
00:05:10Hi.
00:05:10I just wanted to have a, you know, a moment, just with my beautiful wife.
00:05:20You know, I was thinking about today.
00:05:22What?
00:05:22When I first saw you, 20 years ago, across the bar at the El Sombrero.
00:05:28Aw.
00:05:29And how I knew right away that in 20 years, I would still be looking at you.
00:05:37Oh, my God.
00:05:3920 years.
00:05:41Can you believe it?
00:05:43Yeah.
00:05:44I can.
00:05:45Yeah.
00:05:45Because I love you.
00:05:47I love you.
00:05:48Happy birthday.
00:05:53Happy birthday.
00:05:55God.
00:05:57That was so sweet.
00:05:59I mean, I'm just a great guy.
00:06:02Can you do that again?
00:06:04What do you mean?
00:06:06What?
00:06:06For the birthday episode?
00:06:08Chilly.
00:06:09Come on, just a quick video.
00:06:10The moment has passed.
00:06:10The moment has passed.
00:06:11That was beautiful.
00:06:12Honey, please.
00:06:13I want to record it.
00:06:14It was a real thing.
00:06:14I want you to see how wonderful that was.
00:06:15I got to brush my teeth real quick.
00:06:16What?
00:06:17Didn't you just brush your teeth?
00:06:33Oh.
00:06:44What the fuck?
00:07:13Hello?
00:07:13Oh, God.
00:07:14Oh, God.
00:07:14Is this a surprise party?
00:07:15You know I hate surprises.
00:07:16No, I would not do that to you.
00:07:18I know.
00:07:19Oh, they're supposed to be here.
00:07:21Hey, we should try not to overshare tonight, okay?
00:07:24Oh, by we, you mean me?
00:07:26Yes, I mean you.
00:07:27Do I?
00:07:29You know what I hate?
00:07:30No.
00:07:31Patio furniture.
00:07:31Oh, guys are no patio.
00:07:33Patio furniture.
00:07:33Hey!
00:07:36Happy birthday.
00:07:38Oh, my God.
00:07:38It's so good to see you.
00:07:39Happy birthday.
00:07:41You guys look so great.
00:07:43Thank you for coming.
00:07:43Oh, me too.
00:07:44Thank you for coming.
00:07:44Come on in.
00:07:46Wow.
00:07:47You love it.
00:07:48Oh, got brick.
00:07:49I know.
00:07:50We got so much brick.
00:07:52Where did you find this place?
00:07:54I found it through this incredible rental company, and the show gave me a stipend for the party.
00:07:59What?
00:08:00Wow.
00:08:01Oh, the podcast was supposed to be doing really well.
00:08:03Yeah.
00:08:03Congratulations.
00:08:04Yes.
00:08:05Oh, God.
00:08:07Oh, boy.
00:08:08Come here.
00:08:10What?
00:08:10Look at this.
00:08:12Oh.
00:08:13Hey, guys.
00:08:13Hugging royalty.
00:08:15Look at you.
00:08:16Wow.
00:08:16Happy birthday, Jack.
00:08:19Tell him.
00:08:20Tell him.
00:08:20You look great.
00:08:21Look at this incredible color is confidence.
00:08:23Look at the leather pants.
00:08:24Oh, I can see your penis.
00:08:26Oh, there it is.
00:08:27Right there, slightly to the right, and presenting the appetizers.
00:08:31Oh, hello.
00:08:32Yeah.
00:08:32How many cows died to create these pants?
00:08:35No, they're actually vegan leather.
00:08:37Oh, good, because I'm lactose intolerant.
00:08:39Here, just give it a feel.
00:08:41Come on.
00:08:41It's so real.
00:08:42Just step into me.
00:08:43Who wants a drink?
00:08:44Let's get a drink.
00:08:45Let's get a drink.
00:08:45Come on.
00:08:49Look at this spread.
00:08:50I know.
00:08:50It's great, right?
00:08:51May I?
00:08:53I cannot believe we're 40.
00:08:55Oh, I know.
00:08:56I look so young, though.
00:08:58You do.
00:08:58Isn't it freaky?
00:09:00Is there a restroom I could use?
00:09:02Yes, just inside to the left.
00:09:04Mm-hmm.
00:09:05You guys have been together longer than you've been apart.
00:09:08No, I know.
00:09:09It's true.
00:09:09I was starting a family.
00:09:10You're pregnant.
00:09:12Oh.
00:09:12No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:14Not yet.
00:09:14Oh.
00:09:15I'm trying, though.
00:09:16Oh, that's amazing.
00:09:17Mm-hmm.
00:09:18It is amazing.
00:09:19Oh, you guys have been together for a really long time.
00:09:22Yeah.
00:09:22What's your secret?
00:09:23Well, we're open.
00:09:25But we weren't always open.
00:09:26It's kind of newish.
00:09:27Well, when Ish had cancer, he wasn't, like, feeling that sexy.
00:09:31So he was like, you know, please go get your needs met.
00:09:33And, you know, I did.
00:09:34And then when he got healthier, I was like, you should go partake as well,
00:09:38because you have a lot of kinks that I don't really have the endurance
00:09:40forward.
00:09:41Does that make sense?
00:09:41And I was like, get out there.
00:09:43But we have a lot of rules.
00:09:44January to May, we are not open.
00:09:46That's cuffing season.
00:09:47We can't be the state where either of our mothers live.
00:09:49The bathroom has a bidet.
00:09:51I mean, I didn't use it.
00:09:52I just...
00:09:53What did I miss?
00:09:56They are starting a family.
00:10:13Well, well, well.
00:10:15It is in the one and only Mo.
00:10:16Well, Logan, I had no idea you would be here.
00:10:22Yes, you did.
00:10:23Yeah, I did.
00:10:29How are you doing?
00:10:30Great.
00:10:31Huh?
00:10:31Yeah, you?
00:10:33I'm great.
00:10:35Are you drunk?
00:10:40We partied a little.
00:10:41What?
00:10:45Are you getting your nose pierced?
00:10:48No.
00:10:48I mean, yes, but, like, many years ago.
00:10:52It's cute.
00:10:54Vodka.
00:10:55Your favorite.
00:10:57Yeah, when I was 20.
00:10:58Get that out of here.
00:10:59I can't believe you.
00:11:01You look, uh...
00:11:02I look healthy.
00:11:06Healthy?
00:11:07Yeah.
00:11:08Am I a dairy cow?
00:11:10Maker MTO Sunday for surgery Monday.
00:11:12Yeah, it's risky.
00:11:13Plan is for left awake front head temporal cramide.
00:11:16We're monitoring.
00:11:16Let's try not to waste any more of the breast milk.
00:11:17Okay, thank you.
00:11:18Sorry.
00:11:19Bye-bye.
00:11:20Lana?
00:11:20Hello?
00:11:21Hello?
00:11:23You're cutting out.
00:11:30You all right?
00:11:31Yeah.
00:11:32Fine.
00:11:35Try to have a bit of fun.
00:11:38I will.
00:11:40Um, let's try not to have too much fun,
00:11:41because we do need to leave at five tomorrow morning
00:11:43to be back in time for Rocco.
00:11:45Sorry, what was that?
00:11:46I just got lost in those...
00:11:49grey, green eyes of yours.
00:11:51God, you are B-E-A-utiful, aren't you?
00:11:55Sam.
00:11:56Stunning.
00:11:57Stop it.
00:11:58I can't, but I think I...
00:12:00No, stop it.
00:12:01Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:02They're waiting for us to get in.
00:12:03Oh, Selena.
00:12:04Oh, shit, is that Logan?
00:12:09In the flesh, baby!
00:12:11I forgot it.
00:12:12Yeah!
00:12:13Hey, Penelope.
00:12:14Hello.
00:12:16Hi, how are you?
00:12:17Just really brilliant, thank you.
00:12:19Yeah.
00:12:19Great.
00:12:19How are you?
00:12:20Great.
00:12:21Yeah.
00:12:21That's great.
00:12:22Oh, where's Ben?
00:12:24Oh, he couldn't make it.
00:12:25He's, you know, he's working on Senator Bishop's campaign,
00:12:28so he's in New Orleans or Baton Rouge,
00:12:31somewhere in Louisiana, that's all I know.
00:12:32Do you guys ever see each other?
00:12:34You know, healthy relationships do not actually require proximity.
00:12:38Good sex does.
00:12:39I'm going to text Jill, because I don't know where they are.
00:12:42How are you anyway, Logan?
00:12:43Yeah.
00:12:44How's it going?
00:12:45Good.
00:12:46Yeah, yeah.
00:12:47You know, we're in between tours.
00:12:48Between tours?
00:12:49God, that's so cool that you're still touring.
00:12:51I think I heard you shoot on the oldie station the other day.
00:12:55Yacht Rock Radio.
00:12:56That's all shit.
00:12:57Yeah.
00:12:58Oh, hello.
00:13:00Hi.
00:13:01We met.
00:13:03Oh, shit.
00:13:03Uh, Penelope.
00:13:04Yeah, I got this, I got this.
00:13:05Go ahead, go ahead.
00:13:06Logan, Penelope, this is my beautiful wife.
00:13:10Penelope.
00:13:13Pleasure?
00:13:14Pleasure's all mine.
00:13:16We all went to college together, you know, all of us,
00:13:19and then you, Jack, and I roomed together freshman, sophomore year.
00:13:22Yeah, for all me.
00:13:23You went off to become a famous rock star, as you do.
00:13:25Yeah, look at me now.
00:13:26And you and Mo dated each other for a while.
00:13:28Not necessary to the conversation at all.
00:13:31We didn't need that tidbit to tell the story.
00:13:34Can you guys get in there?
00:13:35Jack!
00:13:35Jack, Jack, Jack!
00:13:36Jack!
00:13:37Honey, honey.
00:13:38Oh, my God.
00:13:40Oh, my God.
00:13:42Doctor?
00:13:44Doctor.
00:13:44Doctor?
00:13:45Doctor?
00:13:46Doctor!
00:13:46Doctor!
00:13:47Doctor!
00:13:47Oh, my God.
00:13:51Good to see you, man.
00:13:52Good to see you.
00:13:54Oh, wow.
00:13:57Hey, Jackie.
00:13:59Folks.
00:14:04Thanks for coming, man.
00:14:06I missed you.
00:14:06I missed you, too.
00:14:08I miss both of you, man.
00:14:10Yeah.
00:14:11Oh, my God.
00:14:12You look so good.
00:14:13Yeah?
00:14:14Yeah.
00:14:14Oh, yeah.
00:14:15You're, like, trendy.
00:14:16You're, like, a celebrity.
00:14:16Oh, my God.
00:14:17Yeah, let me see the booty.
00:14:18Yeah.
00:14:19Let me see the booty.
00:14:20OK.
00:14:20It's good, right?
00:14:21Oh, yeah.
00:14:21It's like a little basketball.
00:14:23Yeah, I like it.
00:14:23So many squats.
00:14:24It's great.
00:14:25I'm so happy to see you and bummed that Ben couldn't make it.
00:14:29I know.
00:14:29But, you know, it's to be expected.
00:14:31I know you're my girl, girl.
00:14:33I know you're my girl.
00:14:34I know you're my girl.
00:14:38So would you say I'm gonna leave me out?
00:14:40Everybody?
00:14:41Yes.
00:14:41Yes.
00:14:42Yes.
00:14:42Hello?
00:14:43Hi.
00:14:43Hello?
00:14:44Excuse me?
00:14:45Hello?
00:14:46Hello?
00:14:46Hello?
00:14:46Oh, gosh.
00:14:47Sorry.
00:14:48I just wanted to say a really quick thank you so much to all of you for coming to celebrate
00:14:55Jack and I's 40th birthdays.
00:14:57And I know that some of you even left your babies for the very first time.
00:15:03Oh, thank you.
00:15:06Um, so cheers to having a great night.
00:15:09Woo!
00:15:10Woo!
00:15:11Woo!
00:15:15Jack?
00:15:17Do you wanna say what you were gonna say to everybody?
00:15:22You okay?
00:15:23Yeah.
00:15:24You're up, Jackie.
00:15:25It's funny with old friends.
00:15:28You can not see them for years and then suddenly you're in the same room and it's like no time's
00:15:33passed at all.
00:15:35I guess the opposite works, too.
00:15:38You could be with someone forever and suddenly something happens and it feels like you don't
00:15:43even know them.
00:15:45Like how you suddenly dress like Rod Stewart.
00:15:47Ooh!
00:15:48I love Rod Stewart.
00:15:51So, anyway, I thought it might be a nice thing to go back before the times of Facebook and
00:15:59Instagram and have us all just be together.
00:16:02No distractions.
00:16:03Mm-hmm.
00:16:04Just like it used to be.
00:16:05So, Jill and I thought that before we get the party started, it might be a nice idea for
00:16:14everyone to surrender their phones for the night into this unplug box.
00:16:20Oh, okay.
00:16:21You can't be serious.
00:16:22I am.
00:16:23Fuck!
00:16:24No!
00:16:25I've actually heard of these parties before.
00:16:26Jackie, take it.
00:16:29So close.
00:16:30Oh!
00:16:31You're not taking my bloody phone.
00:16:33Yeah.
00:16:34I mean, I could get a work call.
00:16:35Yeah.
00:16:36No.
00:16:37This is my worst nightmare.
00:16:38Jillie, you agreed to this?
00:16:39I did because guess what?
00:16:40It's only for one night.
00:16:41Thanks.
00:16:42That's only a couple of hours if you think about it.
00:16:44So, come on!
00:16:45Watch this.
00:16:46I'll show you how it's done.
00:16:47Here's the phone.
00:16:48This one's mine.
00:16:49I'm just going to put it in the box.
00:16:50Just like that.
00:16:51Bada bing, bada boom.
00:16:52Jill, show them how it's done.
00:16:53Um, one second.
00:16:54Guys, do you want to take a selfie?
00:16:55Can I?
00:16:56Just before we do it.
00:16:57Oh, yeah, let's do it quickly.
00:16:58Just, can we get in?
00:16:59I have it now.
00:17:00Yay!
00:17:01Good job.
00:17:02You can do it.
00:17:03You can do it.
00:17:04Is that your top secret government phone?
00:17:05Uh, no.
00:17:06That is my personal.
00:17:07I would never surrender my work phone.
00:17:08Plus, I don't have it.
00:17:09Oh, so we have your full attention.
00:17:10Just one night.
00:17:11Goes right in the box.
00:17:12No one's going to look at it.
00:17:14I promise.
00:17:15Bye, Bradbury.
00:17:16Wait.
00:17:17So, the...
00:17:18No one is having any access to their phone for the entire night?
00:17:22That's the idea, Penelope.
00:17:24That's fine, Penelope.
00:17:25Oh, okay.
00:17:27Great.
00:17:28What if Lana needs something?
00:17:29She'll be fine.
00:17:30And there's an emergency.
00:17:31She'll be fine.
00:17:32It's just...
00:17:33Look, you promised me.
00:17:34Hey.
00:17:35Just put your phone in the box.
00:17:41Give it a try.
00:17:42I need to let Lana know, first of all.
00:17:45Yeah.
00:17:46Hey.
00:17:47I'm just waiting to...
00:17:48She got the text.
00:17:54Okay.
00:17:57She got it.
00:17:58Great.
00:18:03Ah.
00:18:04Very good.
00:18:05And back over here.
00:18:06Oh, he's here.
00:18:07He's here.
00:18:08Uh, hold on.
00:18:09Just going to erase a few dick pics.
00:18:11Any time this year.
00:18:13Now you are just showing off.
00:18:15All right.
00:18:17All right.
00:18:18Okay.
00:18:19I might need to get this back later on in case a client emails me or what.
00:18:22No work.
00:18:23Okay, you guys.
00:18:24It's not that easy.
00:18:25I have a job.
00:18:26All right.
00:18:27So, I think that leaves just one more.
00:18:31Honey.
00:18:32Yes.
00:18:33Just one second.
00:18:34Everybody get in.
00:18:35Oh, yeah.
00:18:36Come on.
00:18:37Smile.
00:18:38Honey, honey, honey.
00:18:39Come on.
00:18:40One pic.
00:18:41Cheese.
00:18:42Yes.
00:18:43You got it.
00:18:44Okay, great.
00:18:45Wait, wait, wait.
00:18:46Into the box you go.
00:18:47Hold on.
00:18:48Wait.
00:18:49One more.
00:18:50One more.
00:18:51Last one.
00:18:52Oh.
00:18:53Boo.
00:18:54Okay.
00:18:55Perfect.
00:18:56Got your content.
00:18:57Yes.
00:18:58Let me just post.
00:18:59Chill.
00:19:00I'm putting it up.
00:19:01This is the last one.
00:19:02Please put your phone in the box.
00:19:03And we are live out.
00:19:06And kiss it.
00:19:09I love you.
00:19:10I miss you too much.
00:19:11Okay.
00:19:12All right.
00:19:13So, I'm going to put this one inside and let's get this party started.
00:19:19Yeah.
00:19:20All right.
00:19:21Woo!
00:19:22Be right back.
00:19:23Come on.
00:19:24Yeah.
00:19:25Okay.
00:19:26I hope you guys are hungry.
00:19:27Yay.
00:19:28No problem.
00:19:29No problem.
00:19:30I know.
00:19:31We're going to do it for one night.
00:19:32One night.
00:19:33One night.
00:19:34Everybody, as you may have noticed in our birthday invite, the mention of the
00:19:49special culinary adventure for this evening that I happen to plan all by myself.
00:19:56So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to my new best friend, Chef Sasha,
00:20:03who will be running through the menu for this evening.
00:20:06Chef, please take it away.
00:20:11Oh.
00:20:12Hello, beautiful people.
00:20:15And welcome to what I'm sure is going to be a memorable evening.
00:20:20As Jack mentioned, I am a chef who has won multiple awards in cannabis-infused fine dining.
00:20:26We're getting high.
00:20:27This party just got good.
00:20:28I am definitely going to get paranoid.
00:20:31Tonight isn't just about getting you super high.
00:20:33Anyone can do that.
00:20:34Tonight is about the food.
00:20:36I am a food-centric chef with accents of cannabis.
00:20:40It's all portion-controlled magic for a four-course journey.
00:20:43The end of which, hopefully, you will be super high.
00:20:46Wow.
00:20:47Yes.
00:20:48All right.
00:20:49Well, let's kick it off with an amuse-bouche.
00:20:51Jack is holding, please, what is this, a game show?
00:20:54Tempura cannabis leaves with one milligram of THC per serving from the sativa dominant strain squirt juice.
00:21:01Did that this morning.
00:21:02Wow.
00:21:03This should leave you feeling relaxed, focused, and euphoric.
00:21:06And who couldn't use a little more euphoria, am I right?
00:21:09I know I could.
00:21:10Now, if you'll excuse me.
00:21:12I am going to go set some intentions and cook the fuck out of some weed.
00:21:16Yes.
00:21:17All right.
00:21:18Thank you, Sasha.
00:21:19It's Chef Sasha.
00:21:20Oh, right.
00:21:21Sorry.
00:21:23Mm.
00:21:24Mm-hmm.
00:21:25Mm-hmm.
00:21:26Oh.
00:21:27All right.
00:21:28Yeah.
00:21:29Pass those out before they get cold.
00:21:32All right.
00:21:34Let's dig in.
00:21:35Oh.
00:21:36I get tested for work.
00:21:37Well, it leaves your system in 36 hours.
00:21:39So I've been told.
00:21:40Oh, thank you, Jill and Jack.
00:21:42I haven't eaten up hot since high school.
00:21:44You lie.
00:21:45That's true.
00:21:46That's the basis of our friendship.
00:21:47That's true.
00:21:48How much of this should I eat?
00:21:50How much do you want?
00:21:52You're eating all of it.
00:21:54Mm.
00:21:55Well, well, well.
00:21:57Surprise, surprise.
00:21:59Surprise, surprise.
00:22:01Oh, Jack, Jack, you son of a bitch.
00:22:05Any water?
00:22:07Oh, thanks.
00:22:08I don't have to pump and dump.
00:22:10Why are you gonna do that anyway if you drink?
00:22:12I'm not drinking.
00:22:13Cheers.
00:22:14Obviously.
00:22:15Cheers, my darling.
00:22:16Happy birthday.
00:22:17Happy birthday.
00:22:18Happy birthday.
00:22:19Happy birthday.
00:22:21Happy birthday.
00:22:23Happy birthday.
00:22:25Happy birthday.
00:22:26Happy birthday.
00:22:27Happy birthday.
00:22:28Happy birthday.
00:22:29I know, but what was this?
00:22:30That's it?
00:22:31How's that?
00:22:32Exactly.
00:22:33Have you reevaluated?
00:22:34No.
00:22:37Bye.
00:22:38to the plus ones the plus ones and long may we continue to be frankly the best part of the
00:22:59i have missed you i've missed you i'm very glad you're doing better thank you me too it's been a
00:23:13it's been a long road so how's teaching oh i didn't tell you i quit that's huge i've never been happier
00:23:23no really it's like i'm finally living my life the way i was always supposed to i hope you've
00:23:31slowed down a bit you're not doing those terrible 80-hour weeks still oh no i'm definitely doing
00:23:36those terrible 80-hour weeks but you know me i love it what about you are you are you back at work i'm
00:23:43just doing a little bit of consulting for some old uk clients it's funny my job was such a massive part
00:23:49of who i am and now i just i don't know i'm so tied to the little sausage i i can't bear leaving him
00:23:59other people's kids they suck they suck kids are the worst they're little shits you know little
00:24:03shits their grubby little hands and their rubby little minds i never thought this podcast was
00:24:09going to take off i was just doing it for fun but now people are actually stopping me on the street
00:24:15and asking me for advice yes it's like i'm actually connecting with people and they're listening
00:24:21to what i'm saying oh i'm sorry what were you saying stop you at least look like you've got your
00:24:29shit together that episode all about your balls jack sack that shit is hilarious i shared it with
00:24:48the entire neurological department well yeah big hospital yeah huge yeah glad they enjoyed it
00:24:54it she must be making so much money by now right you can quit that teaching job of yours
00:25:02i don't really want to quit i love teaching i'm just saying you could stay at home with the baby
00:25:08get a gym get super ripped and be like a dill
00:25:14what's your poison these days um tequila works really
00:25:19i think you can remember someone throwing it off after a gig in lauren's yeah well that's because
00:25:26those country-ass margaritas gave me acid reflux and then i couldn't sing
00:25:31i don't have to worry about that anymore so
00:25:35i'm glad it all worked out for you mom yeah i'm thriving
00:25:40that little bundle of joy has hijacked my wife's libido but tonight i'm taking that back
00:25:47Liam Neeson's style because tonight there's no baby around to fuck things up
00:25:55i think you might be good with the chalk
00:25:59tall friends
00:26:01is that what we are i hope so
00:26:07it's a friendship
00:26:07uh-huh
00:26:12we're turning the corner turning the page and every single second with you feels like a party
00:26:16to me
00:26:27ready no no they're down
00:26:30right
00:26:38oh
00:26:51nobody puts jack in the corner
00:26:58dinner is served
00:27:08good
00:27:17good we're working on a gradual high here to ensure that everyone has an enjoyable ride
00:27:22i'd like to provide you an enjoyable ride
00:27:25you'll see two dishes in front of you first our sofrito tartelette with tonato that's coming in at
00:27:31five milligrams of thc and on the larger plate you'll see our poached halibut with leek vinaigrette
00:27:36that is coming in at 20 milligrams of thc
00:27:39yes both use the sativa dominant strain called thug to keep you feeling energized and aroused
00:27:47oh and to my vegan brother blessings
00:27:49in front of you you'll see the vegan risotto with forest mushrooms and black truffle oil also 20 milligrams of thc
00:27:58and will get you feeling aroused thank you so much this looks so awesome thanks chef sasha
00:28:04i did it it happens you're not having a stroke
00:28:15okay but definitely don't think about having a stroke oh god you taste pennies
00:28:21enjoy thank you enjoy enjoy
00:28:24enjoy thank you okay this looks delicious it does i wish i could take a picture and post it
00:28:32take one of your mind did she say 20 milligrams because that sounds like a lot
00:28:38it is a lot all right i think that's a totally normal amount right can we eat or
00:28:45yes yes of course bon appetit
00:29:15yes
00:29:22yes
00:29:27yes
00:29:31yes
00:29:37yes
00:29:41hello hello sorry hi hi hi i just wanted to say to our amazing couple jack and jill thank you for
00:29:59being such a beautiful example of love and living life to the fullest well done you too all right
00:30:06thank you that's so sweet mo you guys have always been so solid like since college just feels like
00:30:13you figured it out early i mean jack definitely figured it out early remember he had that whole
00:30:18spreadsheet of why jill should date him like scientifically i thought that was sexy i knew
00:30:24what i wanted i loved it deeply unsexy um you know it obviously worked because now you're this
00:30:30beautiful perfect couple always you know puts the other person first uh your love and support
00:30:40is truly inspiring we love you and you know we want your continued success in all things in teaching and
00:30:51your incredibly timely podcast your journey to parenthood um jack's pants and shirt combo
00:30:58i mean we just want whatever it's trying to say i hope it gets to speak its truth speaks to me
00:31:05anyway we love it we love all of it and all of you so happy birthday and i am done thank you
00:31:11thank you i love you all so so much i'm sorry and i just want to thank each and every one of you
00:31:28for being here celebrating our 40th birthday it means the world to me i love you all you're so well
00:31:35how much higher are we going to get not high enough buddy my fingers are tingling
00:31:43one more time the bathroom the bathroom oh oh i know
00:31:54it's upstairs it's upstairs but there is one downstairs but there is one downstairs do you need to take a
00:32:00shower so you have to go upstairs you have to go upstairs if you have to shower it's just a powder
00:32:04room but if it's the powder room she's pooping
00:32:05to the left
00:32:06i'll find her yeah i want me to come with you
00:32:11i used it today i thought it was to the loo yeah why well maybe i could help
00:32:16with what
00:32:19oh there's this designer
00:32:25oh
00:32:27oh
00:32:31oh
00:32:35oh
00:32:37oh
00:32:39oh
00:32:43oh
00:32:45oh
00:32:47oh
00:32:49oh
00:32:51oh
00:32:57oh
00:33:01oh
00:33:05oh
00:33:11oh
00:33:13oh
00:33:17oh
00:33:19Lana, Lana! Oh, hi! Hi! Can you hear me? Hi! How's Rocco? Is he okay?
00:33:39He didn't. He drank it all. That's fantastic. Oh, well done.
00:33:45Oh. Oh. Oh. Lana, will you remember to keep checking the monitor just in case he gets unswaddled
00:33:55while he's sleeping? The swaddle? Swaddle? Yeah. It just, it happened to me the other night.
00:34:04Oh, my God. I know it's so not cool to do at the birthday party. I'm so sorry.
00:34:11I have to, okay? We'll be back first thing. Um, at seven? Maybe six. Let's say six. We'll
00:34:21be back by six. Yeah. Okay. Have a great night, Lana. Thank you. I will. Thank you. Thank
00:34:27you so much. Okay. Love you. Well, I do. Um, okay. Thank you, Lana. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Yeah.
00:34:35Bye. Bye. I am madly in love with you. I'm so, I've been in love with you for 10 years,
00:34:50and I just want to continue loving you forever. I've had this stupid fucking ring in my pocket.
00:34:55I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I
00:35:25I've been, like, like, trying to find the courage
00:35:30to just ask you to spend your life with me.
00:35:35Just make me the happiest human.
00:35:37There's a missile!
00:35:39There's a missile!
00:35:40It's coming to California, and we need to find shelter!
00:35:43Okay, finale, please.
00:35:45We've all got the same text.
00:35:47Ballistic missile threat.
00:35:50Seek immediate shelter.
00:35:52It's probably just a drill.
00:35:53This is not a drill.
00:35:54Oh, that is the last line.
00:35:56Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:35:57Wait, you got your phone?
00:35:59Yeah, I was checking on Rocco, and I got the text.
00:36:01How did you find the box?
00:36:03What?
00:36:03How did you find the box?
00:36:04I hid it.
00:36:06It wasn't that hard.
00:36:07Why aren't you freaking the fuck out?
00:36:09We all got the same text.
00:36:11Fuck!
00:36:12Fuck!
00:36:14What is it?
00:36:15Liz?
00:36:15Oh, my God, I'm freaking the fuck out.
00:36:17Holy shit!
00:36:18Yeah, did you?
00:36:19Oh, my God, what do we do?
00:36:20Okay, let me call a friend.
00:36:21Try your folks.
00:36:22Okay.
00:36:23Thank you for your honor.
00:36:24Not since I got this.
00:36:25I'll text you.
00:36:26How much time do we have?
00:36:29Does anyone know?
00:36:29Shouldn't we be going somewhere with less windows?
00:36:31Is anybody getting through?
00:36:32No!
00:36:33I did not survive cancer to go down like this.
00:36:36Look, I think he's just getting a busy signal.
00:36:37Me too!
00:36:38The lines must be jammed.
00:36:39Okay, I just got a text from Ben.
00:36:41This could be happening any minute, so we need to seek immediate shelter.
00:36:44What shelter should we be seeking?
00:36:45There's a basement!
00:36:46Great, let's all go to the basement.
00:36:47Okay.
00:36:47Should I know where that is?
00:36:51No, I know!
00:36:52Lead the way!
00:36:53I can do that!
00:36:54I can do the fire!
00:36:54Down here!
00:36:56I can do the fire!
00:36:58It's fire!
00:36:58It's fire!
00:37:00I can do it!
00:37:02Wait!
00:37:04Wait!
00:37:04Hurry up!
00:37:05I can't go any faster!
00:37:08I'm gonna be a shack.
00:37:09Ow!
00:37:10Ow!
00:37:10Ow!
00:37:11Ow!
00:37:11Shit!
00:37:12You okay, buddy?
00:37:13It's my ankle!
00:37:14It's my ankle!
00:37:14What happened?
00:37:15It was my ankle!
00:37:16Come on!
00:37:16No, you don't!
00:37:17No, you don't!
00:37:17You don't!
00:37:17Okay!
00:37:17I can't!
00:37:19Uh-oh!
00:37:19I can't!
00:37:20I can't!
00:37:21You got it!
00:37:21They suck in tears!
00:37:23Are you okay?
00:37:24Go go go go!
00:37:25They're way!
00:37:26They're way!
00:37:39No!
00:37:40You're way!
00:37:41No!
00:37:42You're so!
00:37:44Come on, come on, come on!
00:37:46Come on, come on, come on!
00:37:48Come on, come on, come on!
00:37:50Come on, come on!
00:37:52Come on, come on!
00:37:54Come on, come on!
00:37:56Hurry!
00:37:58Come on, come on, come on!
00:38:00Are we all here?
00:38:02Hey!
00:38:04Hey, go!
00:38:06Guys, guys, look, I don't think we need to be in the glass-filled room.
00:38:10Let's just go to the room.
00:38:12Guys, over here!
00:38:13I was just about to come get you!
00:38:15Come on, come on!
00:38:17Moe! Moe!
00:38:19Do you think you can get a hold of any of your government contacts to get some more information?
00:38:22Who sent the bomb? How many bombs are there?
00:38:24Does the US have all of our lines of defense?
00:38:26Yes, I'm trying to reach my friend who works in the Pentagon, but shit.
00:38:28What?
00:38:29What are we going to do?
00:38:30There's no service down here.
00:38:31What?
00:38:32No, I'm not getting anything, anything.
00:38:34What the fucking fuck? There's no Wi-Fi!
00:38:36Well, circuits can get jammed with everyone trying to communicate at once.
00:38:38What the fuck is happening? This is a fucking apocalypse!
00:38:41Should we go upstairs?
00:38:42No, absolutely not.
00:38:43We are much safer in the basement.
00:38:45And I mean, depending on the size and location of the missile, it-
00:38:47Who would bomb us?
00:38:49Really?
00:38:50Oh my God, I know so many people who would bomb us.
00:38:52Oh my God!
00:38:53The thing is, we don't know who's launched it.
00:38:55It could be China, Russia, fucking North Korea, and we don't know what they launched.
00:38:58It might be a hypersonic missile, which can travel at 20 times the speed of sound.
00:39:02Or a supersonic missile, which can usually evade all of our types of defense missile systems,
00:39:07and different types of radar.
00:39:08The point is, there's a lot of different types of fucking missiles.
00:39:10So we may not even be able to detect the bomb.
00:39:12Missile!
00:39:13It's a missile.
00:39:14I said missile like 40 times.
00:39:15Yes, and what we really need to worry about is after.
00:39:17There could be nuclear fallout, which is why I think we need to stay indoors for at least 24 hours.
00:39:2324 hours?!
00:39:2424 hours?!
00:39:25At least!
00:39:26Can you all sit the fuck down, please?
00:39:28I'm sorry.
00:39:29It's just a lot.
00:39:30Probably 48 when the-
00:39:33If the missile strikes.
00:39:35And what is the probability of that?
00:39:36I don't know.
00:39:37Oh God, we're gonna have to wear those masks again!
00:39:39Can't we even live?!
00:39:40Why don't we all just try to stay positive, right?
00:39:43You know, because thinking about the worst bubble down here, that's not gonna do anything.
00:39:46Right?
00:39:47Uh, it's a fucking bomb, Jill!
00:39:50I fucking know, Sam!
00:39:51Just trying to stay positive about the motherfucking bomb, Sam!
00:39:54Missile.
00:39:55Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo.
00:39:56Yeah, yeah.
00:39:57Listen, what's the likelihood that we'll be able to stop whatever missiles coming towards us?
00:40:00Um...
00:40:01That's what you analyze, right?
00:40:02War?
00:40:03Well, sort of.
00:40:04I analyze foreign weapons development, really.
00:40:05But the likelihood depends on a lot of different variables and factors.
00:40:09Okay, okay.
00:40:10Rough estimate.
00:40:11Factoring in the factors and the variables.
00:40:13In your professional opinion, is this the beginning of World War III?
00:40:15Yeah.
00:40:16Or are we gonna be able to stop the invisible missile that's headed straight for us?
00:40:19And it all is gonna be, like, a misunderstanding.
00:40:21So it's a little tough to gauge?
00:40:23Okay, okay.
00:40:24So you're saying it's pretty bad?
00:40:25Just leave her alone, Jack!
00:40:26Jack, our U.S. defense systems have the potential to protect its citizens against a nuclear attack.
00:40:31Has the potential?
00:40:32Ah, yes.
00:40:33Do they, though?
00:40:34Yes.
00:40:35Theoretically, I mean, in theory, everything's a theory.
00:40:36What about hypersonics?
00:40:38We don't spend enough on defense.
00:40:40We don't invest in military advancements.
00:40:42What the fuck are you talking about?
00:40:43Oh, we do spend money on defense.
00:40:44We need to spend more money on education.
00:40:46That has nothing to do with right now, Jack!
00:40:48Everything is connected!
00:40:49Ishan!
00:40:50I can't breathe.
00:40:51I can't breathe.
00:40:52Honey, I can't breathe.
00:40:53Maybe?
00:40:54I don't know.
00:40:55I don't know.
00:40:56Oh, my God.
00:40:57I don't know.
00:40:58Oh, my God.
00:40:59I'm really dizzy.
00:41:00Oh, my God.
00:41:01I can't breathe.
00:41:02And my chest is hurting.
00:41:03Hey, hey, hey!
00:41:04Joseph, you got her, Jack!
00:41:05No!
00:41:06I am!
00:41:07She is!
00:41:08Okay, what's wrong?
00:41:09What's wrong?
00:41:10What's wrong?
00:41:11Does it feel like you're underwater?
00:41:12Hell, yeah.
00:41:13Is there any pain radiated from your left jaw, left shoulder, left arm?
00:41:16Left?
00:41:17Yes.
00:41:18Is that my left?
00:41:19No, no.
00:41:20That feels fine.
00:41:21Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:22Nothing on your left side.
00:41:23Nothing on my left side.
00:41:24Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:41:25She's willing to take some deep breaths with me, okay?
00:41:26Okay.
00:41:27Deep breath in.
00:41:28Deep breath in.
00:41:29Deep breath in.
00:41:30Deep breath in.
00:41:31Deep breath in.
00:41:32Deep breath in.
00:41:34Deep breath in.
00:41:36Feeling better?
00:41:37Yeah, a little.
00:41:38Okay.
00:41:39It's okay.
00:41:40She's having a panic attack.
00:41:41Okay?
00:41:42I have those all the time.
00:41:43She's fine.
00:41:44I'm fine.
00:41:45Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:41:46I feel fine.
00:41:47You're gonna be okay.
00:41:49Look, Jack, do me a favor.
00:41:50Yeah.
00:41:51Put your hand on her chest.
00:41:52Okay?
00:41:53Yes, that hand.
00:41:54Put the hand on my chest.
00:41:55Yes?
00:41:56So you can help calm her down.
00:41:57Yeah.
00:41:58Give your body some time to adjust.
00:41:59You'll be fine.
00:42:01You're welcome.
00:42:02Jack, stay put.
00:42:03Just breathe.
00:42:04Where would I go?
00:42:05Don't leave.
00:42:06I think that we need to just stay positive down here in the bomb shelter.
00:42:11I need some fucking Wi-Fi so I can make sure my baby's okay.
00:42:14Ben, there's no Wi-Fi anywhere down here, right?
00:42:16Ben, stay put.
00:42:17I texted Lana before we came down here to stay in the basement.
00:42:19Yes, I know, Sam.
00:42:21I just really think we need to be with Walgo right now.
00:42:24Well, he's three hours away and there's a bomb.
00:42:30I never should have left 20 years ago.
00:42:49What?
00:42:51I should have stayed with you.
00:42:54Built a life with you.
00:42:57Logan.
00:43:00It just...
00:43:01It just sucks that I'm now realizing this.
00:43:06I shouldn't have pissed about so much.
00:43:10I wasted so much time.
00:43:13I got so reckless to my career.
00:43:16I let all this time just slip by.
00:43:19If I got my shit together sooner,
00:43:24I would have met Ben sooner.
00:43:26I could have had at least three more kids.
00:43:33Jesus Christ, shut up.
00:43:35I always wanted a big family.
00:43:37I always envisioned myself surrounded by a gaggle of kids.
00:43:44I would have taken just one if Jill would have been on board.
00:43:47What?
00:43:49What?
00:43:50What are you talking about?
00:43:54I found your birth control pills.
00:43:59Can we please not do this in front of all of our friends?
00:44:02Oh, yeah.
00:44:03We should wait till after.
00:44:05We're incinerated by a nuclear explosion.
00:44:07Jack.
00:44:08Please.
00:44:09See, I've been trying to figure out.
00:44:10Why would you do...
00:44:11So why would you do that?
00:44:12I don't know.
00:44:13I was gonna tell you.
00:44:14Oh, yeah?
00:44:15You were gonna tell me?
00:44:16Yeah.
00:44:17So what, now you don't wanna have a kid?
00:44:18Is that what's happening?
00:44:19I don't know.
00:44:20What the fuck?
00:44:21Why wouldn't you tell me?
00:44:23Huh?
00:44:24Why wouldn't you tell me that?
00:44:26I don't know.
00:44:27I...
00:44:28Well, at least I didn't have to find out on the podcast.
00:44:31Okay.
00:44:32That's not fair, Jack.
00:44:33Oh, it's not fair?
00:44:34No?
00:44:35Hm.
00:44:36So you air out all of our shit in front of all of your millions of followers
00:44:39who are basically strangers, yet you don't tell me the person that you live with.
00:44:44You lie to me.
00:44:45That's not fair.
00:44:46Do you wanna know what else isn't fair, Jack?
00:44:49When your husband puts expectations on you,
00:44:52and doesn't listen to you,
00:44:55and makes a huge decision for the both of us,
00:44:59and doesn't see what I really wanted.
00:45:02That is what's not fair, Jack.
00:45:04I did not see what you wanted.
00:45:06I-I-I'm sorry that I did not trust the words that were coming out of your mouth.
00:45:11I didn't realize that when you said that you wanted to have a baby with me,
00:45:14what you really meant was that you wanted to talk about having a baby on your stupid fucking podcast!
00:45:19That is so fucked up, you asshole!
00:45:23That stupid fucking podcast is what's paid for tonight!
00:45:28And pays your cell phone bills!
00:45:31First of all, it is a family plan, okay?
00:45:33It just makes sense!
00:45:34Second of all, tonight, you wanna just take out-
00:45:36Just-just take it all back!
00:45:37You can start with these fucking leather pants!
00:45:39Here, I don't want these fucking-
00:45:42You know what, Jack?
00:45:43Maybe if you actually listened to my podcast, you would see why it's so successful.
00:45:47I mean, why do you even want a kid?
00:45:50Are you gonna pick him up from soccer practice high out of your fucking mind?
00:45:54Mo and I hooked up with the Deltopia party in 2001!
00:45:57What?
00:45:58What?
00:45:59Sam?
00:46:00What?
00:46:01What do you mean, hooked up?
00:46:03We got together.
00:46:05Okay, so in my defense, I was very drunk.
00:46:09He could have been anybody.
00:46:10Dad's fucked.
00:46:11So you had sex with Mo and you didn't tell me?
00:46:14Oh, my God.
00:46:15You dodgy fucker.
00:46:18Well, I wasn't gonna mention this because-
00:46:21Well, I didn't think you could handle it, but fuck it.
00:46:26I had sex with him.
00:46:28What?
00:46:29Oh, my God!
00:46:30Oh, me?
00:46:31Hi.
00:46:32Yeah.
00:46:33It was in, um, in London.
00:46:38You were playing with the Jinx at the Half Moon in, like, 2010.
00:46:452010, huh?
00:46:50Oh, yeah!
00:46:53Yeah!
00:46:54Wow!
00:46:55Hey, how you doing?
00:46:56I didn't recognize you with the-
00:46:58I know.
00:46:59Yeah, I was, um, well, I'm thinner now.
00:47:01Yeah.
00:47:02What a small world.
00:47:04How you been?
00:47:05I've been good.
00:47:06Yeah, I've been really good.
00:47:08Well, I didn't recognize you.
00:47:09I was going, I know him.
00:47:10Yeah.
00:47:11Um, but you changed your hair.
00:47:13Uh, yeah.
00:47:14I had, uh, um, a blonde mohawk-
00:47:16Yes, you did.
00:47:17I remember very well.
00:47:18And it would not budge even after-
00:47:21Yeah, it was crazy.
00:47:23Yeah.
00:47:24It was really, really-
00:47:25It was really crazy.
00:47:26How could you fuck him?!
00:47:29I knew you couldn't handle it.
00:47:31That's disgusting!
00:47:33Hey!
00:47:34What didn't you tell me?
00:47:35Well, I didn't tell you, Sam.
00:47:37Because I didn't know you knew him.
00:47:38I have been on holiday with Mo.
00:47:40You should have told me.
00:47:42Shut up!
00:47:44Who cares?!
00:47:46Straight people!
00:47:47Oh my God, you're so fucking dysfunctional!
00:47:50It's like bad reality TV.
00:47:52We make good reality TV!
00:47:54We make drag race and bake-offs!
00:47:56And you make MILF Manor!
00:47:58I'm sorry.
00:47:59I'm sorry.
00:48:00I'm sorry.
00:48:01I'm sorry.
00:48:02Okay.
00:48:03We should just keep this light and breezy.
00:48:05Yeah, that's a good call.
00:48:06That's a good call.
00:48:07Okay.
00:48:08Let's go around the room and just say, then, what we're grateful for.
00:48:13That's a good idea.
00:48:14Okay?
00:48:15That's a good idea.
00:48:16Do that.
00:48:17Why don't you start, Ish?
00:48:18What?
00:48:19Um...
00:48:24I'm grateful for...
00:48:32Wow, what was I saying?
00:48:33What you're grateful for?
00:48:34Oh my God.
00:48:35Oh my God, I'm so high.
00:48:37I, um...
00:48:39I, um...
00:48:40I'm grateful for...
00:48:43my family...
00:48:45for the strength that I didn't know I had...
00:48:52that I found with the help of...
00:48:54the love of my life, Damien.
00:48:59You're my everything.
00:49:01You make me a better person.
00:49:04You make me laugh every single day.
00:49:07That's very sweet.
00:49:08It's true.
00:49:09I'm grateful for...
00:49:12my brother and my mother and...
00:49:17and my chosen family, my...
00:49:20Brussels Griffon Sebastian.
00:49:22Oh my God.
00:49:24Oh my God.
00:49:25Oh my God.
00:49:26Oh my God.
00:49:27Oh my God.
00:49:28Oh my God.
00:49:29Oh my God.
00:49:30Oh my God.
00:49:31And you're fucking...
00:49:34You and you, you're my soulmate.
00:49:36I love him so much.
00:49:37You're my best friend.
00:49:43I almost got to marry you.
00:49:46Almost.
00:49:47Yeah.
00:49:48Maybe if we don't get blown up.
00:49:53Wow.
00:49:56Okay.
00:49:58You're up, Jack.
00:50:00What am I thankful for?
00:50:01I'm thankful for how things used to be.
00:50:09I had to spend half of my life for the person who I thought I knew more than anyone else in the world.
00:50:16I miss that.
00:50:20I'm thankful for that life too, Jack.
00:50:22And I feel really lucky that I got to live such a wonderful life with you.
00:50:32That was really touching.
00:50:36Okay, who's next?
00:50:38I am grateful for my son.
00:50:39I'll never forgive myself for abandoning him.
00:50:45I look at our son and I can't believe we created that life together.
00:50:52We did that.
00:50:55He's perfect.
00:50:56He's...
00:50:58That's an unbiased fact.
00:51:00His little hands, his little toes.
00:51:05All perfect.
00:51:08You're an incredible mother.
00:51:14Okay, I can go.
00:51:16I am grateful for my family, my friends, and the work that I do.
00:51:21It's truly meant so much to me to know that I'm making a difference.
00:51:31And I'm really grateful for all of the moments I've had with every one of you.
00:51:37Truly grateful.
00:51:39I'm grateful that my band kicked me out.
00:51:42Wait, what?
00:51:43Yeah.
00:51:44Had been a few weeks ago, but it's been brewing for a long time.
00:51:48Well, what happened?
00:51:49Creative differences.
00:51:52I was writing new material and...
00:51:55I didn't want to keep playing the same old shit.
00:52:00I'm so sorry.
00:52:05It's cool.
00:52:07Really, it's cool.
00:52:09I mean...
00:52:11At first I freaked out because I thought, is this my only identity?
00:52:16But then it granted my freedom.
00:52:20This exercise really worked.
00:52:22Yeah.
00:52:23Yeah.
00:52:25I feel like I'm awake after 20 fucking years, you know?
00:52:29All this music in my head...
00:52:32Sing something.
00:52:34Hm.
00:52:36I drove all night...
00:52:40Trying to hold what ain't right...
00:52:45I know the answer, should I call you?
00:53:03It's all yours.
00:53:04I still love that song.
00:53:08I wrote a good one.
00:53:10It's all yours.
00:53:11I still love that song.
00:53:14I wrote a good one.
00:53:15I wrote a good one.
00:53:33Are we leaving?
00:53:34No.
00:53:36Where were we going?
00:53:37Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:53:39Oh, Bingo.
00:53:45Hey, Ben, Ben, Ben.
00:53:46Yes?
00:53:47They have the same vows as us.
00:53:48What?
00:53:49They have the same vows as us.
00:53:50Look.
00:53:52Is that why you brought me in here?
00:53:55No.
00:53:56No.
00:53:57Okay.
00:53:58I brought you in here.
00:53:59To get you alone.
00:54:00To tell you just how beautiful you are.
00:54:04Sam, I don't feel very beautiful.
00:54:06Well, you are.
00:54:08You're stunning.
00:54:09Oh!
00:54:10Sorry.
00:54:11Oh!
00:54:12Sorry.
00:54:13Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:14Sam, what are you doing?
00:54:15Oh, God.
00:54:16Lord, just seize the moment.
00:54:19I'm scared to have a baby.
00:54:23I mean, I'm scared of my whole life
00:54:26just stopping and becoming all about the baby,
00:54:30and I am not ready for that to happen right now.
00:54:33I'm scared, too.
00:54:35You are?
00:54:36Yeah, everyone's scared.
00:54:38I mean, I don't even know if I would be a good mom.
00:54:41Right now, I love spending my time at work
00:54:46and on the podcast,
00:54:48and I'm really, really good at it.
00:54:52And it makes me really happy.
00:54:56I don't want to resent you
00:54:59for having to give that up,
00:55:01because then I really wouldn't be a good mom.
00:55:07I'd be a great mom.
00:55:19But I think that somebody who wants to be a mom
00:55:24should really, really want that.
00:55:28I haven't slept,
00:55:30and everything is still fucking sore.
00:55:34I don't feel like myself.
00:55:35I feel fucking gross.
00:55:38Okay?
00:55:39I'm not in my body.
00:55:44It's like it still belongs to Rocco.
00:55:46I just wish I was with him.
00:55:48That's all I can think about.
00:55:50Me too.
00:55:51100%.
00:55:53It's just given the circumstances,
00:55:54I thought we'd finally be able to have a little sexy sex.
00:55:58What kind of person wants to have sex at a time like this?
00:56:00Does it bother you how long it's been?
00:56:13Honestly, Sam, I am so tired.
00:56:17I don't think about it.
00:56:18I don't think about it.
00:56:19Well, you don't think about it.
00:56:20Well, that's a fucking problem, Pen.
00:56:23I guess it is a problem, Sam.
00:56:25What do you think?
00:56:26Yeah.
00:56:27Hypothetically, have we survived this?
00:56:30Will you ever be ready?
00:56:31I don't know.
00:56:32Is it me?
00:56:33I think everything happened so fast with us.
00:56:46We're going out, then pregnant, married, then a year and a half.
00:56:50I thought you wanted to get married.
00:56:53You wanted to get married.
00:56:55You were pregnant.
00:56:58Yeah.
00:57:00Is that the only reason we did it?
00:57:03No, it's not the only reason we did it.
00:57:06We did it because we love each other.
00:57:13Do you love me?
00:57:16Oh, my God.
00:57:20You are the father of my son.
00:57:24Of course.
00:57:27I have love for you.
00:57:29You have love for me.
00:57:32Who says that?
00:57:34I love you.
00:57:39You don't love me?
00:57:40I just said I have love for you.
00:57:41I don't know what you want me to say, Sam.
00:57:42I don't want to hurt you.
00:57:45Sam, I'm sorry.
00:57:48Sorry.
00:57:51I'm sorry.
00:57:54But just one thing.
00:57:56Do you have any idea how many women I could have fucked?
00:58:04Excuse me?
00:58:06Doesn't.
00:58:07Maybe even in the 30s.
00:58:08Low to mid-30s, but definitely somewhere there.
00:58:10That's how many women jump at me all the fucking time, Ben!
00:58:13You want a fucking trophy?
00:58:14No, I don't want a fucking trophy.
00:58:15No, I don't want a fucking trophy.
00:58:16Then why are you telling me?
00:58:20Why are you telling me?
00:58:22Just to hurt me?
00:58:24How can I hurt you?
00:58:26Your fucking hardness!
00:58:27Fuck you!
00:58:30I miss you.
00:58:31I miss you too.
00:58:32I miss you too.
00:58:33So much.
00:58:34I try so hard to forget about you.
00:58:38I couldn't.
00:58:39You know?
00:58:40I just...
00:58:41I never felt anyone compared to you.
00:58:44I love you too.
00:58:45I love you too.
00:58:46I love you too.
00:58:49You know?
00:58:52I have to leave you too.
00:58:53I love you too.
00:58:54I'm elementos so much.
00:58:55I never felt anyone compared to you.
00:58:57I love you, Mom.
00:58:59I love you too.
00:59:03I always blond school Sto believes you.
00:59:04A duethe keeps you sustainability,
00:59:05and I love you too.
00:59:14No.
00:59:15Should we go again?
00:59:25Yeah, we could do better.
00:59:26I think so.
00:59:37You have this whole other life, this whole other world,
00:59:39and I'm not a part of it.
00:59:41And look, I love that you're happy.
00:59:43I do, I love it.
00:59:45But I'm not.
00:59:47You're not.
00:59:49I don't want you to be in a happy jack.
00:59:51I think maybe I wanted a baby and to start a family
00:59:57so I can get you back, spend more time with you.
01:00:04We already are a family, Jack.
01:00:10And we always will be.
01:00:11A baby doesn't change that.
01:00:17Okay.
01:00:19Yeah.
01:00:21I don't wanna hear anything about you, Jack.
01:00:54What are you looking at?
01:01:04Is your marriage over?
01:01:12What?
01:01:24It feels like days.
01:01:37How much longer?
01:01:38God.
01:01:39Could it be any minute?
01:01:40Any second?
01:01:41This is awful.
01:01:41Just bomb us already.
01:01:43I keep thinking about the last few years.
01:01:45I went through a year of chemo, and then I went right back to work.
01:01:52You know, I made all these plans, and I don't know why I didn't do any of them.
01:01:57I was going to travel the world.
01:01:59With me?
01:02:04Of course.
01:02:05We should have planned a trip.
01:02:08I'm really sorry we never got married.
01:02:15You are?
01:02:16Yeah.
01:02:17I just...
01:02:19I think now that, you know, I'm on death's door.
01:02:24It's something that I really wanted all the time.
01:02:26And, you know, when I think about...
01:02:30When I picture our death, you know, like, I mean, obviously you die first.
01:02:37Obviously.
01:02:38Because you're very, very old.
01:02:42I'm seven months older than you.
01:02:44Seven and a half months.
01:02:45You know, and I just saw us as married because, you know, it's...
01:02:50It's be the loyal, much younger, mournful husband that never left your side, you know?
01:02:56You know?
01:02:57Yeah.
01:02:58That's sweet.
01:03:00And kind of morbid.
01:03:05I never knew it meant that much to you.
01:03:07I think it does.
01:03:09We should have thought.
01:03:12We should do it now.
01:03:15We should do it now.
01:03:17Now?
01:03:18Yes.
01:03:19Why not?
01:03:20What do we have to lose?
01:03:22Nothing, I guess.
01:03:24How do we do this?
01:03:25How do we do this now?
01:03:27I'm ordained.
01:03:28What?
01:03:29Yeah.
01:03:29I did it online last summer.
01:03:31Where our drummer, Julie, and our makeup artist got married in Costa Rica.
01:03:35Ah!
01:03:36That's amazing!
01:03:38Oh, my God!
01:03:40Let's do it!
01:03:42Let's do it!
01:03:45Please stop.
01:04:11Here comes the fight.
01:04:12Please stop.
01:04:27Welcome.
01:04:30We did it, guys.
01:04:33We're gathered here today for, well, actually,
01:04:36for Jack and Jill's birthday.
01:04:39But then the bomb techs happened.
01:04:43And we all rushed down here.
01:04:44And then other stuff happened.
01:04:51But now we're here celebrating the love of Damien and Eshan.
01:04:57You guys ready?
01:04:59I'll keep it short, because times are the essence.
01:05:02Damien, do you take Eshan to be a wedded husband,
01:05:07to be your partner in life, to share a path of life with,
01:05:11equal in love, embraced as a mirror of your true self,
01:05:16to honor and cherish through good times and bad?
01:05:20I do.
01:05:22Mm-hmm.
01:05:23That's a great answer, buddy.
01:05:25That's where you see the press.
01:05:27Yeah.
01:05:29There it is.
01:05:30Fitz.
01:05:33Eshan, same question.
01:05:36Do you take Damien to be a wedded husband,
01:05:38to be your partner in life, to share a path of life with,
01:05:42and love, to honor, to cherish him through good times and bad?
01:05:49I can't.
01:05:54I can't.
01:05:55What?
01:05:56Oh, my God, it's happening!
01:05:58Oh, my God!
01:05:59Oh, my God!
01:06:00Oh, my God!
01:06:01Oh, my God!
01:06:02Oh, my God!
01:06:03Was that it?
01:06:04Is that it?
01:06:05I don't know.
01:06:06I don't know.
01:06:07Is it over?
01:06:08Am I going to just spin the first one?
01:06:10Oh, shit.
01:06:11What?
01:06:12The chef.
01:06:13Oh, my God.
01:06:14We need to go get her.
01:06:15I'll go.
01:06:16No, no, no.
01:06:17My plans, it's my responsibility.
01:06:19I can go!
01:06:20There might be nuclear fallout, Penelope.
01:06:22I'm going upstairs.
01:06:24Through a pandemic!
01:06:25I am going the fuck upstairs!
01:06:27Wait!
01:06:29I'm going with you.
01:06:32Fine.
01:06:33Wait!
01:06:35Fucking shit!
01:06:36Jesus Christ!
01:06:37You're going to need protection.
01:06:39Why are you screaming that?
01:06:41Fuck, Jill.
01:06:42Jesus.
01:06:43Oh, God.
01:06:56Oh, God.
01:06:59I'm going to need protection.
01:07:01I'm gonna need protection.
01:07:02Come back with me.
01:07:02Chef?
01:07:04Chef?
01:07:05Ben!
01:07:06Oh, my god.
01:07:07Over here.
01:07:07I'm going to need protection.
01:07:09Oh, my God.
01:07:11Still breathing. Oh, thank God.
01:07:13Yeah, I wouldn't normally move her in this state,
01:07:15given the circumstances.
01:07:17Ben? Ben!
01:07:19Grab her legs. Come on.
01:07:21OK.
01:07:22Ready? One, two, three.
01:07:24Oh! OK.
01:07:26Move it, move it. OK, OK.
01:07:27OK, easy, easy. Tom, falster, falster.
01:07:29No, no, no. Easy, easy.
01:07:39Ben!
01:07:41Shit!
01:07:43Fucking hell.
01:07:46There's no bomb.
01:07:47What?
01:07:52There's no fucking bomb.
01:07:57Oh, shit!
01:08:02There's no bomb!
01:08:04What?
01:08:06There is no missile threat or danger
01:08:08to the state of California.
01:08:11Repeat.
01:08:12False alarm.
01:08:14Oh, my God!
01:08:22Get the fuck out of this basement!
01:08:25Wait, but what was that explosion?
01:08:27Oh, my God.
01:08:28I'm going to get out of here.
01:08:29Oh, my God.
01:08:31Oh, shit.
01:08:32Guys, hey, I'm sorry, Ben.
01:08:33We should get Jack to the couch.
01:08:35I'm going to get close.
01:08:36Just sit down.
01:08:37Fine, fine.
01:08:38OK, it's OK.
01:08:39We're almost there.
01:08:41Oop, let me get a pillow here.
01:08:43Oh, my God.
01:08:47Oh.
01:08:49I got the same text.
01:08:50So did I.
01:08:51Come on, it's actually shooting real quick and you're OK.
01:08:53My parents are OK.
01:08:55They were hiding in their garage.
01:08:57I mean, was this a false alarm?
01:08:58I mean, what the fuck?
01:08:59It's so fucked up.
01:09:00Who would fuck up a nuclear bomb?
01:09:02The system was hacked.
01:09:04We can't know exactly what happened for sure.
01:09:06Another country just hacked our emergency alert system
01:09:08and fucked the shit out of all of us.
01:09:09Again, Ishan, we don't know that it was another country.
01:09:12It could have just been a guy in his underwear in Michigan.
01:09:15There's really only one thing we could know for sure.
01:09:19So we wouldn't have known any of this if it wasn't for a phone.
01:09:22I don't know if it wasn't for a phone.
01:09:24I don't know if it wasn't for a phone.
01:09:25I don't know if it wasn't for a phone.
01:09:26I don't know if it wasn't for a phone.
01:09:27What?
01:09:28Why are you looking at me like that?
01:09:31Well, Penelope, because if you didn't sneaky, sneaky
01:09:40and go grab the unplug box, then we would still be celebrating our birthday party.
01:09:47Mm-hmm.
01:09:48Maybe eating some of that thug pussy.
01:09:51Yeah.
01:09:52You know?
01:09:53Wouldn't have experienced any of this, really.
01:09:55None of it.
01:09:56Who has a no phone party and invites the mother of a newborn?
01:10:01Well, I'll tell you who.
01:10:03Me.
01:10:04I do.
01:10:04He does.
01:10:05Yeah.
01:10:06You don't have kids, so you don't understand.
01:10:08That's a little insensitive.
01:10:09Oh, shut up.
01:10:10It's just a fact, Jill.
01:10:13OK, first of all, don't tell my wife to shut up.
01:10:15Mothers really shouldn't be away from their babies in the first few months.
01:10:20That sounds very judgy.
01:10:22And they definitely should not be attending no phone parties unknowingly.
01:10:27They're called unplug parties.
01:10:28Absolutely.
01:10:29It is to get old friends together to connect.
01:10:32Connect.
01:10:32Without phones.
01:10:33Absolutely, right.
01:10:34Which we would have done if you didn't grab yours.
01:10:37Mm-hmm.
01:10:38I didn't ask to escape reality, and I didn't create this disaster.
01:10:42It's not my fault.
01:10:44Mm-hmm.
01:10:45Except it kind of is.
01:10:47Yeah.
01:10:48And even Jill took the night off, and she's addicted to her fucking phone.
01:10:51Fine.
01:10:53If it makes you feel bad, blame me.
01:10:55I don't give a shit.
01:10:57I think I'm going to go now.
01:10:58OK.
01:10:59That sounds great.
01:11:01You coming?
01:11:01Do you even want me to come with you?
01:11:05I am going to be with our son, Sam.
01:11:07Are you coming?
01:11:08It's late, and it's far, and Rocco's probably asleep by now.
01:11:11Oh, my God.
01:11:12He's fine, Penn.
01:11:13Your priorities are fucked.
01:11:15Oh, my priorities?
01:11:16You've just told me you don't fucking love me,
01:11:18so don't come out with your fucking priorities right now.
01:11:20I'm done.
01:11:21OK.
01:11:21See you later.
01:11:22No, you won't.
01:11:23Thank you for a horrible evening, everyone.
01:11:26Good night.
01:11:28Good night.
01:11:36Sammy.
01:11:37Sammy, boy.
01:11:38Hold on, my God.
01:11:39Hey.
01:11:40Oh, my God.
01:11:42I mean.
01:11:43I'm sorry, man.
01:11:46Did you have any fun?
01:11:49Yeah, she did.
01:11:50I'm...
01:11:51Mm.
01:11:53What happened down there?
01:11:56Why'd you say you can't?
01:11:58Can we talk about this later?
01:11:59No, I want to talk about it right now.
01:12:02I don't upset you, Damien.
01:12:03No, it's too late for that.
01:12:09I've always been very honest about my feelings on marriage.
01:12:12I'm not a big fan.
01:12:14I never have been.
01:12:15I was open with you about that from the very first day.
01:12:17Yeah, exactly.
01:12:18That was in the beginning.
01:12:19That was years ago.
01:12:20Well, nothing has changed.
01:12:21Everything's changed.
01:12:21What has changed?
01:12:22Sever, you and I have changed.
01:12:23We've been together for 10 years.
01:12:25I got you through cancer.
01:12:26I love you so much, Damien.
01:12:27I...
01:12:28Do you?
01:12:29Yes.
01:12:30I am a child of divorce.
01:12:32I am a divorce attorney.
01:12:35I know better.
01:12:35I have seen the worst in people.
01:12:37Well, then why did you agree to it down in the basement?
01:12:39I was in shock.
01:12:41You asked me to do it in front of all of your friends.
01:12:44We thought we were going to die.
01:12:47Oh, okay.
01:12:49So that's the only way you'd marry me.
01:12:53Cool.
01:12:53I think that we both just need to take a couple of breaths.
01:12:57It's been a really long night, Damien.
01:12:59The night's just getting started, party people.
01:13:02What?
01:13:03Oh, my God.
01:13:04Chef Sasha.
01:13:05Well, it's kicking in, huh?
01:13:07What happened to you?
01:13:08Oh, I am so sorry.
01:13:09My liquid nitrogen tank exploded, and I blacked out for a bit.
01:13:12But all good now.
01:13:14That was the sound.
01:13:15Um, I-I do have some bad news.
01:13:19What?
01:13:24There is no side of sorbet.
01:13:27Oh.
01:13:28Oh, we don't need sorbet.
01:13:30I would actually like some sorbet.
01:13:32Well, she's had a long night, you know?
01:13:34She has?
01:13:40I only have the lemon blueberry pavlova with canna butter
01:13:43and the tiramisu with coconut-infused mascarpone
01:13:46for my vegan brother.
01:13:48Both coming in at a solid 15 milligrams of THC per se-
01:13:53I'm fine.
01:13:57It's just the nitrogen poisoning.
01:13:59It'll wear off in a few weeks.
01:14:00Okay.
01:14:01Both desserts use one of my favorite strains,
01:14:04pink punani.
01:14:05Of course.
01:14:06Which should help you unleash your creativity
01:14:08like it did mine.
01:14:10Oh, my God.
01:14:15Center of the table, please.
01:14:18Oh, God, that's so beautiful.
01:14:23Please don't touch it.
01:14:24Of course.
01:14:25Until after I leave.
01:14:26You got it, of course.
01:14:28Well, I don't want to, uh, hold up the party,
01:14:31and I think I should lie down and probably drink some vinegar.
01:14:34I have had such an amazing time getting to know each and every one of you
01:14:39and being your guide on this journey.
01:14:42Thank you so much, and truly, namaste.
01:14:46Oh, yes.
01:14:47Thank you so much.
01:14:48Thank you so much.
01:14:49Chef, chef, chef.
01:14:54She doesn't even know.
01:14:55Maybe when she blacked out, she forgot about the bomb?
01:15:00She probably turns her phone off when she's working
01:15:02so she can stay present and be in the moment
01:15:05and actually enjoy the experience of cooking.
01:15:09Those desserts do look pretty good.
01:15:12Yeah, they do.
01:15:13Here, hold this.
01:15:16Excuse me.
01:15:18Excuse me.
01:15:19Excuse me.
01:15:22Where are you going, honey?
01:15:25You're done.
01:15:32What are you doing?
01:15:36Holy shit!
01:15:37What?
01:15:38You did that?
01:15:38That is so punk rock!
01:15:40Yes!
01:15:41Oh, my God.
01:15:42I can't believe I did that.
01:15:44I just threw my phone in the fire.
01:15:46Yeah, you fucking did!
01:15:48I did that so fucking good!
01:15:50Come on!
01:15:52Come on, who's with me?
01:15:53I'm with you.
01:15:54yes logan give me your phone i don't know where mine is he doesn't even know where his phone is
01:15:58that's perfect mo come on sam let's throw all of our phones in the fire and let's feel free
01:16:05wow jack my darling i'll help you yes yes i love you so much hey i love you too oh yeah
01:16:17that's hot you can do that you can do this come on do it oh i missed i'll get it for you okay okay
01:16:34yes doesn't that feel good it would have felt better if i made it but yeah come on it's okay
01:16:42let's watch it burn i mean i'm fully with them but i think i'm just gonna put it on vibrate right
01:16:52we're gonna be okay right i hope so it would suck if we weren't
01:16:58i promise to make more time for you and i won't let so much time go by without connecting with you
01:17:14okay okay i promise not to smoke so much pot on the couch oh
01:17:23try to mix it up and smoke some on the patio instead
01:17:28we can't say anything about anything just act normal nothing happened
01:17:40yeah i know i can't do it
01:17:45you have to i can't because you told me you're still in love with me
01:17:50well it was an intense moment i thought we were gonna die right but isn't that when people share the
01:18:03most intimate thoughts
01:18:12i won't get through anything as long as i don't lose you
01:18:18you'll never lose me
01:18:19you're my family
01:18:26i love you so
01:18:30fucking much
01:18:34well i love you so
01:18:36fucking much
01:18:37we make no plans
01:18:49make out all our checks to care
01:18:52see i got no future cause with you there's no past
01:19:02we make our checks to care
01:19:09just give me space
01:19:12We got enough time to erase
01:19:20I've been pretending so we both could save fate
01:19:27To make our checks together
01:19:31Don't wait, don't wait
01:19:41You guys, you sound so beautiful together.
01:19:46Ah, oldie but a goodie.
01:19:49Hey, we haven't sung happy birthday to these two yet.
01:19:52Yeah!
01:19:53Oh, no, you don't have to sing.
01:19:54Yes, we do.
01:19:55Yes, we do. And here's your key, everybody.
01:19:58Happy birthday to you.
01:20:02Happy birthday to you.
01:20:06Happy birthday, dear mwah!
01:20:10Happy birthday to you!
01:20:17Aw, thank you. I love you guys so much.
01:20:21I love you guys.
01:20:22Let's eat!
01:20:24Great idea.
01:20:25Ooh, I want one of these.
01:20:27Ooh, I want one of these.
01:20:28Give me a little of that too.
01:20:30Yes, please.
01:20:31Do you want some?
01:20:32Yes, please.
01:20:33Oh, oh, oh, oh!
01:20:35Ah!
01:20:36Oh!
01:20:37Oh!
01:20:38Oh!
01:20:39Oh, my God!
01:20:40Feels good to be alive.
01:20:41It really does.
01:20:42You guys, guess what time it is. It's time for a dance party! Woo! Come on!
01:20:51She's lost her mind.
01:20:52Let's do it.
01:20:53We need some music. Oh, there it goes. I love this song. Let's turn it up. Yeah! Oh, my God! Let's do it. Yes, I knew you would. Bring it, girl.
01:21:06Come on! You want to dance with me! I know! I know! You saw those moves! Come on! Come on! Yes, girl. Come on! Come on! Let's dance with me! I am ready! I know! You saw those moves! Come on! Come on! Yes, girl! Come on! We're leaving!
01:21:28Come on!
01:21:29Come on!
01:21:30Come on!
01:21:31Come on!
01:21:32Come on!
01:21:33I'm going to Beth, Beth, where are you going, oh my god!
01:21:41Yes!
01:21:42Yes, come on, too!
01:21:45I'm 40!
01:21:53Earthquake!
01:21:55Hello, hello, hello, listeners!
01:22:05Welcome back to Marriage in the Middle Ages, where we talk about everything and anything to do with marriage.
01:22:12With me today is a very special guest.
01:22:15You have heard me talk about him many, many times before because he is my husband.
01:22:22And please welcome Jack Langer.
01:22:26Oh, I didn't realize there'd be an applause track.
01:22:29I kind of want that every time.
01:22:31Not for you, baby.
01:22:33Well, it's good to see you, my wife.
01:22:35It's good to see you, too, my husband.
01:22:40Yes, long overdue.
01:22:41Thank you for joining us.
01:22:42Today is the day that we are going to tell all the listeners all about, drumroll please,
01:22:50our 40th birthday party.
01:22:53There you go, Bolt.
01:22:54Yes, I'm not sure I'm ready to relive this, but I am here for you and your wonderful listeners.
01:23:02So, Jack, you ready to dive in?
01:23:05Yes, let's go.
01:23:07Let's go.
01:23:08Let's go.
01:23:10Let's go.
01:23:11Let's go.
01:23:12I'm moving through the heat
01:23:38This room is hazy
01:23:40Keep running through the lights
01:23:43Inside my head
01:23:45I find myself a drink
01:23:47And now it seems I'm
01:23:49Six or seventy
01:23:51Good girl
01:23:54I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:23:57I don't care right now
01:24:01I'm gonna keep this vibe going
01:24:04So light me up
01:24:06So light me up
01:24:12So light me up
01:24:18Her face I've never seen
01:24:20Her body close to me
01:24:22And suddenly there's nothing in between
01:24:26I'm moving through the beat
01:24:28That's all I like to do
01:24:30It's half past me
01:24:33Good girl
01:24:36I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:24:39But I don't care right now
01:24:42I'm gonna keep this vibe going
01:24:45Good girl
01:24:49I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:24:52But I don't care right now
01:24:55I'm gonna keep this vibe going
01:24:58Good girl
01:25:01I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:25:04But I don't care right now
01:25:07I'm gonna keep this vibe going
01:25:11Good girl
01:25:14I'm gonna hear this in the morning
01:25:17But I don't care right now
01:25:20I'm gonna keep this vibe going
01:25:23So light me up
01:25:32So light me up
01:25:36If so you think
01:25:37You think you're gonna
01:25:39We gonna
01:25:39So light me up
01:25:41So light me up
01:25:47Tonight me up
01:25:50So light we up
01:25:52I'm going to hear this in the morning
01:26:05But I don't care right now
01:26:08I'm going to keep this vibe going
01:26:11I'm going to hear this in the morning
01:26:17But I don't care right now
01:26:20I'm going to keep this vibe going
01:26:23So light me up
01:26:26So light me up
01:26:32So light me up
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