Mortimer and Whitehouse- Gone Fishing - Season 8 Episode 07- Gone Christmas Fishing
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00:00so Paul we're on a steam train what does that mean I think it means it's Christmas
00:08it's the Christmas show yeah yeah but it's not very Christmassy out there Bob yeah well it isn't
00:13but it's the Christmas show right do you know where we're headed I'll tell you where we're
00:21heading we're heading to the center of Christmas this year all right and who decides where it's
00:26centered me of course silly of course it's you do you know where it might be give us a clue Ted's
00:34got a little hint oh right okay it's a Cornish pasty we're going to Cornwall wow nice we're
00:47gonna actually on our way to God we'll fish on a beautiful river called the River Lid in Devon
00:52then we'll be fishing in Cornwall really yeah we've got the award ceremony special Christmas
00:58dinner some beautiful accommodation right for our Cornish Christmas adventure oh lovely
01:06this character called a Pullman carriage fancy yeah it was the personal carriage of Winston Churchill and
01:12it was in this carriage that he had a meeting with General Eisenhower to discuss the D-Day landings we
01:18might be in their seats we might be in my searching because facing from forward I've got to I'm not
01:23you silly egg did you call me a silly egg no no no no no no no
01:26you
01:39haha
01:41Come, Ted.
01:57Good boy.
01:58I said, what a cunt of Devon.
02:00You told me we was going to Cornwall.
02:02We're on our way to Cornwall, Ted.
02:04Drag me down some muggy old river.
02:06What's the matter with you, wrong with me?
02:08Any other one, I forgot his name, to be honest.
02:11So this is it, Paul.
02:14Yeah.
02:14The river Laid.
02:15Yeah, beautiful, isn't it, Bob?
02:17I'll start down there.
02:18You get in there, yeah?
02:20Rightio.
02:21What are we fishing for, though?
02:22Well, trout and sea trout as well.
02:26Look, we've got one of those views, Paul, through there.
02:28Oh, we have.
02:29It's a portal, isn't it?
02:30It's a portal to the Magic Kingdom.
02:33Yeah.
02:34Right.
02:34Let's do it.
02:41Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
03:04I would, if I was offered it.
03:07You know, in Cornwall, they like to have a bit of fish.
03:11Really?
03:11What are they, French?
03:13Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing.
03:15Oh, yeah, nice.
03:15Are you caught again?
03:28Oh, thank God.
03:29You get it?
03:30Yeah.
03:34Would you describe me as fat?
03:37No.
03:38I'm overweight, but you say there's a fat bloke over there.
03:43Well, you're not really, Bob.
03:44You've got a sort of big, round head, haven't you?
03:47But you're not fat, no.
03:50Oh, he's in.
03:52Oh, oh.
03:54Oh, Bob, you all right, mate?
04:01I'm absolutely fine, bro.
04:03Are you?
04:03I'm wet.
04:04It was a bit cold as well, wasn't it?
04:06Fat and wet.
04:08Lucky you had that layer of blubber there for buoyancy.
04:12Bloody hell, Bob, you all right?
04:14Yeah, no, I'm fine.
04:16Come on, go and sort yourself out.
04:23Did you hurt yourself, got any?
04:24I took a bit of a bang on the, um...
04:26On the rump.
04:29On the rump?
04:30On the rump.
04:30I've got one rump and one butter.
04:32You.
04:33Unusual, isn't it?
04:34It is very unusual.
04:35Oh, man.
04:38I'll tell you what, with Christmas this year, Bob, here's a little thing for you.
04:43Oh, yeah, go on.
04:44I don't think my Christmases will ever be the same.
04:47Yeah.
04:49Last Christmas, on Christmas Day, Grandad, me father-in-law, was in hospital.
04:55Yeah.
04:55And so on Christmas Day, me and my son took him his present.
04:59It was a nice little steam train calendar.
05:01Oh, yeah.
05:02But when we got there, he was fast asleep.
05:04Ah, right.
05:05And he couldn't be roused, so we just said, Happy Christmas to him.
05:08And took the present back?
05:09No, we gave him the present for when he woke up and that.
05:12Yeah.
05:12And then when we got home, there was a phone call from the ward, and he died by the time
05:20we got home.
05:20We sort of thought to ourselves, me and Tom, my son, that maybe, just maybe, he heard
05:29us say, Happy Christmas.
05:31Yeah.
05:31And then say goodbye.
05:32Yeah.
05:33And he thought, all right, I'll turn off now then.
05:35That was nice.
05:36Well, it's possible, isn't it?
05:37It's possible.
05:38Mm.
05:38You know, maybe.
05:39On Christmas Day.
05:40On Christmas Day.
05:45He liked steam engines and he liked beer.
05:48There's plenty of them about, isn't there?
05:49That's a man, isn't it?
05:50Yeah.
05:51Rod Stewart, he likes steam engines and beer, doesn't he?
05:53Yeah.
05:54Apparently.
05:55It's a type, isn't it?
05:56It is a type.
06:08That's too close in, I think.
06:25Oh!
06:27I'm in, Bob.
06:28You're in?
06:28You're in?
06:29Yep.
06:30What were you thinking, little trout?
06:32No.
06:33It's not so little, and I don't know what it is yet.
06:36Well done, man.
06:37First Christmas catch.
06:39I think it's a grayling.
06:42Yes!
06:44It's a good grayling.
06:44I think it's a grayling, yeah.
06:46It is a grayling.
06:46It's a nice one, isn't it?
06:48Oh, Bob, look at him.
06:49Go on.
06:50Get him.
06:51Yes!
06:52Oh, Paul, it's a whopper.
06:54That is the biggest one we've ever caught.
06:56It is, isn't it?
06:57Look at that.
06:58See this fin?
06:59Oh!
07:00That's so beautiful, isn't it?
07:01Right.
07:02Let's get him back.
07:03Beautiful creature.
07:05Beautiful creature.
07:07There you go.
07:09And away.
07:11Well done, Paul.
07:12God, it's cold, that water, isn't it?
07:13Lovely.
07:15Are we having a cup of tea, darling?
07:16Yes, I'd love a cup of tea.
07:17I've got some special treats.
07:19Come on, then.
07:19Christmas treats for you.
07:20Oh, nice.
07:21So this is me Christmas spread.
07:29Wow, look at that.
07:31Yule log, gingerbread man.
07:33That one's me.
07:35That one's you.
07:35Okay.
07:36Obviously.
07:37Yeah.
07:37Look what I've got here, Paul.
07:40Ooh.
07:41Minced pies heating by the camping stove.
07:43Ooh.
07:44Come on, Teddy.
07:47It's nothing to do with you, Ted.
07:49Yeah, but it is.
07:51Yeah, but it is.
07:52No, it's nothing to do with you.
07:54It has nothing to do with you, sir.
07:54Yeah, but it is.
07:57Nicely judged.
07:59Mr. Minced pie, as they call you.
08:01It's really heated for a while, isn't it?
08:04There you go, Teddy.
08:05I have got some cream.
08:06Stop.
08:07Well.
08:07Ted, do you want a bit of squirty cream?
08:09I wonder if he squirted it into his mouth,
08:11if he'd just keep going.
08:12And he'd grow up.
08:14And then.
08:17Ted, what exactly?
08:26I'll have a go.
08:27You've got a fish with a nymph, right?
08:28Where there's one, Graylin.
08:30There's more.
08:30There's more.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Just mind those berries, right?
08:35Whoa, that's beautiful, you lucky sod.
08:37Right, keep, come on, that's it.
08:38Keep that line off the water.
08:40Track it down.
08:43Give that little line a mend.
08:45That's it, like that, that's good.
08:49Another calf.
08:50Oh, boom, boom.
08:52Oh, nice.
08:54That's good fish, Bob.
08:55It's a good fish.
08:55I know it's a good fish.
08:56I can see it is.
08:57I think he might have a seat right there
08:59or a big gray.
09:01It's a good fish.
09:02Go on, then, try and get it on the reel.
09:04But mainly keep contact.
09:05Okay, so now don't wind.
09:07That's a good fish, Bob.
09:08I'm on the reel!
09:10Oh!
09:10Oh!
09:12Hee-hee-hee!
09:14Right, you can wind a little bit.
09:15Go on.
09:16Have you got the net?
09:17Yeah.
09:19Ha-ha-ha.
09:20I haven't even seen it yet, Bob, have you?
09:22No, it's too big to see.
09:25Ha-ha-ha!
09:27It's a massive trout!
09:28All right.
09:29Ha-ha-ha!
09:30Oh, please, don't go.
09:32Come on.
09:33No, come on, come on.
09:33We've got to get this fish.
09:34Come on.
09:35Come on.
09:37Oh, yes!
09:38Boom!
09:39Boom!
09:40Ha-ha-ha-ha!
09:42Look at the size of him!
09:44Wow.
09:45That's a lovely sea trout, Bob.
09:47Look at it.
09:47You can.
09:49I think we're talking records here, Paul.
09:51I'm going to get onto the mare.
09:54Oh, we'll get him back.
09:55Yeah.
09:55One magnificent fish.
09:56Wow.
09:57Well done, Bob.
09:59Hold him till he's ready.
10:01I think he'll be gone soon, but...
10:04And away!
10:06Not going to get better than that, Paul.
10:08No, it ain't, Bob.
10:09Let's go to the accommodation.
10:10OK.
10:11Our first Christmas accommodation.
10:12Thank you for that, sir.
10:13Well done, mate.
10:14I don't know if I can move, really, but...
10:15Oh, there's a big lump here, and I don't mean me.
10:18Hey!
10:19All right.
10:20Oh, that sea trout, Paul.
10:26Yeah.
10:26That's going to haunt you for years.
10:27He tugged you, didn't he, eh?
10:29Lying.
10:31You're never going to let it lie, are you?
10:33Never.
10:33No.
10:41I thought for Christmas...
10:43Oh.
10:43I'd bring you somewhere...
10:45Yeah.
10:45...so special, it would rip your heart out of your body.
10:49Cleanse it and return it fully functioning.
10:51Oh, let's hope so.
10:52It needs a bit of an upgrade, Bob, really.
10:55Because this place is gorgeous.
10:57Whoa!
10:57Is that the sea?
10:59And...
10:59Wow.
11:00To your right here, Camel Quarry House.
11:03Oh, look at that.
11:06Well, thank you, Bob.
11:08Our best yet.
11:09It's a beauty!
11:10Could be.
11:11Cornish beauty, come on.
11:15Whoa!
11:15Oh!
11:19Teletick.
11:20Come on, see the bedrooms.
11:22Go on, then.
11:22Up you go, you sprite the old fella.
11:25I'm going to take a chance on a left.
11:28Oh, this one is very me, Paul.
11:32I've chosen, but I'll join you on your quest.
11:34Come on.
11:35Yes!
11:37Oh, I've made a terrible mistake, Paul.
11:40You heard, Bob.
11:41Feel free to enjoy the view for about eight seconds.
11:45Eight seconds is not enough.
11:50Come on, Bob, you've seen enough.
11:51You've got the best room.
11:52Come on, out.
11:53Upstairs.
11:54OK.
11:55Ooh.
11:56Whoa!
11:56Whoa!
11:59Boom?
12:00Yeah, boom, bang, a bang, boom.
12:03Isn't that something?
12:05Wow.
12:05I feel like we've arrived, because that is Cornwall.
12:10That's the camel estuary, Bob.
12:11Yeah, and it's most beautiful.
12:12Rit large, isn't it?
12:15Got a special guest coming soon, any minute now, in fact.
12:19So behave yourself.
12:20Can you get rid of your windy pops now?
12:22Do you like the look of this, Paul?
12:37Char-coot-tree is what they call it.
12:41Char-coot-tree.
12:42Char-coot-tree.
12:43That's Ted's dog biscuits and a bit of cheese.
12:45Oh, right.
12:46Can he do that?
12:47Absolutely, yeah.
12:48The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
12:54He maketh me to lie down in the...
12:58Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
13:00Who can it be?
13:01Ching, ching, ching.
13:03It sounds Christmas.
13:05Oh, thank you for coming.
13:07It's a bloody holder.
13:08Hello.
13:10Hello, love.
13:11Hi there.
13:11How are you?
13:12Yeah, I'm all right, darling.
13:13Can you come on that side, actually, at the same time?
13:14Why don't you want the...
13:15I just want to be in a sort of sandwich.
13:17Oh, that's lovely.
13:19A couple of chunks, you are.
13:21Honky chunks.
13:21Why don't you bring this?
13:22Do you want to see what this is?
13:23Go on, then.
13:24My husband has made you this.
13:26It's a cake.
13:26Yes.
13:27It's a fruit, it's sultana and cherries.
13:29Lovely.
13:30With icing on the top.
13:32Because, well, he knows about you two.
13:35Oh, that's nice.
13:35I mean, he likes you, but I like you more.
13:38He knows that both of you are on my I'm Allowed To list.
13:43No.
13:43You are kidding.
13:44Yeah.
13:44Let's get to it.
13:45Come on!
13:47But it is only if he's conked.
13:49Oh, right, OK.
13:50And if you were both single, which you're not.
13:52Yeah, so it's not going to happen, obviously.
13:54No, it's not, is it?
13:55No.
13:55But, you know.
13:56So we've got a cake in lieu, have we?
13:58Yeah, you have.
13:59OK.
13:59I'll bring this over.
14:00Right, come on.
14:01You come in, terns.
14:06So this is Cornwall.
14:08This is your parish, isn't it?
14:09Yeah, well, it's a tricky one for me, this, because half of my family are from Devon.
14:15Boo!
14:16Oh.
14:16And half are from Cornwall.
14:18Boo!
14:19Oh, no, sorry.
14:19Hooray!
14:20Hooray!
14:21So I'm sort of dual heritage.
14:23It's a bit War of the Roses, kind of.
14:25You're quite synonymous with Christmas.
14:29Well, I suppose so.
14:30The free Christmas dinners.
14:31Yeah?
14:32Yeah.
14:32Whoa.
14:32Did you actually really eat free Christmas dinners?
14:34You know how they make telly.
14:36I ate one Brussels sprout.
14:38You're joking, mate.
14:39In that whole thing.
14:40Oh, you've broken his heart.
14:42Boy, I will.
14:44Don, will you ever do another dibley, do you think?
14:47No?
14:47There's only one person left, but there's only James left out of the whole cast.
14:53Imagine that.
14:53That's what happens when you start a sitcom with older people.
14:56Yeah.
14:57Bob gone fishing on his own.
14:59Yeah.
15:00Laughing at my demise.
15:01Not necessarily on your own, Bob.
15:03I'm here.
15:05I'm not great at Christmas, you know.
15:07It's not that I don't like it.
15:08I think as I've got older and I've lost people in my family,
15:12I find Christmas, when you're supposed to be jolly, too much.
15:16So I get a bit melancholy just before Christmas.
15:19But then every single Christmas, there is a proper Christmas miracle.
15:23And it might just be that I, you know, get myself out of a grump because it's not fair on everybody else.
15:30But I actually do cheer up by Christmas Day.
15:32By Christmas Day.
15:32Oh, that's good.
15:33But the week before, I have a bit of a slump.
15:36I think the weird thing for me is that Christmas takes you back to childhood and until I miss my mum and dad at Christmas.
15:42Yeah.
15:42Can I offer you anything from the shampoo tree?
15:48Yeah, you can. I'll have a bit of salami.
15:50Do you know what? I'll move it over, darling, then you're not...
15:52Ted? Ted?
15:54Here, look. Look what I've got.
15:55So...
15:56Try this, Ted, look.
15:59There we go.
16:01Oh, the enderbite's working hard on that.
16:03Cornwall, the most beautiful county, darling.
16:13Oh, yes.
16:14No question.
16:15And can I just say...
16:16Yeah.
16:17..jam first, always, no exceptions.
16:20Just leave it at that.
16:21Well, I do agree.
16:22I don't think you can consider cream or butter.
16:25Correct, Bob.
16:26I'm not getting drawn in on this.
16:28Cream is the crown.
16:29Do you fancy staying for a game of Mousetrap, John?
16:33Um, no.
16:34Come on, it's going to be great.
16:36No.
16:37Do you fancy coming in a hot tub with us?
16:38Um, I'd rather put my eyes out, if that's all right with you.
16:43Fair enough.
16:45I sense where you come from.
16:46I mean that nicely.
16:47Oh, I know.
16:48I said don't ask, Bob, didn't I?
16:51And you were right.
16:52You were right.
16:53Yeah.
16:59Did you have a nice sleep?
17:11Not bad, yeah.
17:12We've got to get going.
17:13I know, we haven't got fish.
17:14Oh, I forgot, Paul.
17:15What I should say is, I didn't forget,
17:17but I've got the last three windows of my advent calendar to open.
17:21Do you want to do one?
17:22You do today, I'll do tomorrow.
17:24That's nice, isn't it, Bob?
17:25I like that.
17:26It's a good one, isn't it?
17:27Yeah.
17:27Good things, isn't it?
17:29Great things.
17:29Mainly chocolates.
17:31Right.
17:31But little bits of fun jewellery.
17:33Oh, trinkets.
17:34Trinkets.
17:35Okay.
17:37What'd you get?
17:39A little bit of breadstick.
17:41Oh, that's a bit unlucky, isn't it?
17:43This is a trick, isn't it?
17:44No, it's not.
17:45You've enjoyed it, haven't you?
17:46A little breadstick by...
17:47I do, I do like breadstick, yeah.
17:49We've got to get going.
17:50That is the estuary of the river we're fishing today,
17:53the river camel.
17:54Yeah, we're fishing upstream.
17:56I'll be able to go all day
17:57after this breadstick, weren't I?
17:59After the breadstick, yeah.
18:00Now the hell.
18:00Don't worry, I've got some stuff to take.
18:02Howie, lad.
18:08It was a treat seeing Don last night, wasn't it?
18:10It was lovely.
18:11She's a very positive presence, isn't she?
18:12Yes, yes, she is, yeah.
18:15Big, big day, though, Paul, innit?
18:17Awards ceremony.
18:18Oh.
18:19Big, big day.
18:21Who's hosting this year?
18:22Do you know?
18:22I think I'll host it this year.
18:24Oh, what a surprise.
18:27It means we couldn't get anyone, did it?
18:29Here we are.
18:37Lovely, innit?
18:38This is the Camel Valley, Bob, the river camel.
18:40Right.
18:41In Tresarats we are.
18:42And on the menu today...
18:44Yeah.
18:45Trout.
18:46Trout.
18:46Sea trout.
18:47Yeah.
18:48Sea trout as well?
18:49Yeah, possibly salmon.
18:50Lovely.
18:50It's coming on Christmas
19:00They're cutting down trees
19:03They're putting up rain
19:05They're singing songs of joy and peace
19:08I wish I had a river
19:10I could skate away on
19:16But it don't snow here
19:21It just stays pretty green
19:23I'm gonna make a lot of money
19:25Then I'm gonna create this crazy scene
19:29I wish I had a river
19:31I could skate away on
19:36I wish I had a river so long
19:41Oh, I've got Mr.
19:43Oh, man!
19:44Teach my feet to flow
19:48Yes!
19:55Hey, well done, Bob.
19:57Little brownie
19:58I could skate away on
19:59Very nice
20:00And away!
20:04Hey!
20:05Oh, it was an incredible bit of fishing, Paul.
20:07Yeah, I'm sure it was, Bob.
20:09If you did it, I'm sure it was superlative.
20:13Good stuff.
20:14I would say, Paul, that was maybe my most enjoyable bit of fishing I've ever done.
20:31Really?
20:32It was fantastic, yeah.
20:33Oh, brilliant.
20:34I don't know, just somewhat about the flow of the river and the light.
20:38The light is incredible here, isn't it?
20:44You look so sexy in those glasses, Paul.
20:48Honestly, you look nothing like Ant-Man or some sort of insect.
20:51I do look like a wasp or something, don't I?
20:53Yeah, you're a very waspy character, actually.
20:57Oh, blimey, Ted.
20:58What are we going to do with him?
21:00Ted isn't in great mix.
21:01No, all right, Bob.
21:02He's in here shortly.
21:04Mind you, he's quite deaf now.
21:06Yeah.
21:06But he doesn't look very well, does he?
21:08But he does seem happy.
21:11He does, actually, doesn't he?
21:11He does seem happy.
21:12Well, I'd say content.
21:14Content.
21:18When my son went to see Grandad in hospital, afterwards, he said to me he was glad he had,
21:25because he said, I've got to get used to loss, you know?
21:29Oh, wow.
21:30When he was a really young boy, suddenly, one day, I walked up the stairs and there was a window there.
21:36And he'd put, he'd put, stuck little letters up saying, Tina, see you, see you in the future.
21:43And it was our little cat, Tina, had died.
21:45Oh, wow.
21:45And I know he was really affected by it.
21:48Right.
21:48And it's tough when you, it's tough when a pet dies.
21:51It's really tough.
21:53Mm.
21:53Because, like, as your friendships come and go, you know, or you've got to, you've failed to maintain them or you do, you know,
21:59but your friendship with your pet is so pure, do you know what I mean?
22:02Oh, no, that's a very valid point.
22:04It's the devotion that they show you don't get from any other living creature, really, do you?
22:11Heartbreaking.
22:12Mm.
22:18It is brilliant to have a friend like you, you know, Paul.
22:21Don't have a go at me for saying it.
22:23It's amazing.
22:24Ant-man, wasp-face, wizened little walnut.
22:28Yeah, but...
22:29Yeah?
22:30That's because you like me, that you allow me to do it.
22:33I can take it, Bob, really, I really can take it, don't worry, mate.
22:36Imagine a world without friendship, because a lot of people live in that world, Paul.
22:40Well, yeah, that's true, Bobby.
22:42I'm just hanging on to it with you.
22:43You are fingernails, innit?
22:45But, well, thanks for that, Bob, and I feel the same, you know that, don't you?
22:49You do know that, don't you, Bob?
22:50I don't, we only come out to see each other, I know it really.
22:53Yeah.
23:06Hey, Teddy.
23:12Dr. Anand's coming today.
23:13Oh, right, he's here, is he?
23:14Yeah.
23:14Oh, OK.
23:15Don't you tell Anand I've been having salami.
23:20Oh, he won't like that, will he?
23:22Well, I've just had a chocolate biscuit, that's probably not much good either.
23:25You're going to mention it, aren't you?
23:26No, I'm not.
23:27We'll see, we'll see how it all plays out, Bob.
23:30I know what you're like, so...
23:31You think the first thing I'm going to say to Anand is,
23:33Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit?
23:34Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit.
23:35No, it's not.
23:37The first thing I'll say is, you know what Paul's done?
23:39He's only got an added chocolate biscuit, haven't he?
23:46Anandos and I should say, oh, that's fine.
23:48Anandos?
23:53Chicken and prescriptions.
23:54I really haven't had Anandos, Anand.
23:57Chickens and prescriptions.
24:04Anand!
24:04There he is.
24:05I'm following Ted in.
24:06Look, Ted's leading the way.
24:07Oh, easy.
24:09I've got trainers on.
24:10Oh, John Fisher, Doctor.
24:12How lovely to see you.
24:13Lovely to be seen.
24:13I don't want to trip over Ted.
24:14I don't want to trip over Ted.
24:19You look like one of the prettiest gnomes I've ever seen.
24:22Don't you think?
24:22Look.
24:23A little wooden, a wooden imp.
24:26I'll take that in whatever spirit you're meant to.
24:29Yeah, yeah.
24:29So, Anand, the first thing I wanted to ask genuinely is,
24:32is just earlier today,
24:35Paul had two chocolate biscuits
24:38and some cake.
24:41Right, first of all,
24:42it was one chocolate biscuit.
24:44Was it?
24:44Sure.
24:44And I just had a little,
24:45the cherry out of the cake.
24:47That's all I nibbled, right?
24:48He had cake and salami.
24:51I'm not here to police you.
24:53Well, we wish you would.
24:56People don't like being nagged.
24:57Yeah.
24:57So, what I'm here to do is,
24:59I'm here to steer you, hopefully,
25:00in a direction.
25:01And if you want to take my advice,
25:02take my advice.
25:02If you don't want to,
25:03that's absolutely fine.
25:04But equally, you know,
25:05we've all got to make our choices
25:06and deal with the consequences.
25:08It is a bit of compromise, isn't it?
25:09I was always told,
25:10if 80% of your diet is good,
25:12you're allowed 20% to do,
25:14you know,
25:14indulge yourself.
25:15See, I tell myself 70-30,
25:17so I give myself a little bit more leeway.
25:18Well, there we are.
25:18I'm coming over to your way.
25:20Just some general things
25:22that have interested me recently,
25:24Anand,
25:24was a lot of people around me
25:26are taking vitamin supplements.
25:28Yes.
25:28All sorts of supplements.
25:30Somehow, I don't believe
25:31that that pill or liquid
25:32is the same as a leaf of spinach.
25:35I don't think it is.
25:35I don't think it is, Bob.
25:36So, you're absolutely right.
25:38Supplements are brilliant
25:39if you've got a deficient diet.
25:41The supplements you need
25:42need to be tailored
25:43to your age range,
25:44and they need to be tailored
25:45to whatever disease
25:46is going on.
25:47Or your diet, for example.
25:49If you're vegetarian or vegan,
25:50you might lack protein,
25:52you might lack calcium
25:53if you don't eat dairy.
25:55So, it's kind of like,
25:55well, what do we need?
25:56And if you're a 70-kilo,
25:5765-year-old,
25:58you need to be taking
25:5970 to 80 grams of protein per day.
26:02You should be getting
26:03some of that if you eat meat
26:04from meat and a bit of oily fish.
26:07Lentils, pulses, eggs, cheese.
26:09You know, all those sources
26:10are good sources of protein.
26:11And why particularly
26:12for older people?
26:13So, as you get older,
26:14your ability to hold on
26:15to muscle gets less.
26:17So, you get something
26:17what's called sarcopenia,
26:19where literally your muscles
26:20start to dissolve away
26:21as you get older.
26:22And having poorer muscle strength,
26:23which we're going to test in a bit,
26:25is linked to, you know,
26:26living longer.
26:27So, actually,
26:28if your muscle strength is poorer,
26:29you actually become frail.
26:31And frailty is basically
26:31a condition where
26:32any small change to your health
26:34could knock you over
26:35into losing independent living.
26:37And that could be like,
26:37you know,
26:37you can't live in your own home anymore.
26:39You can't do stairs.
26:40So, I've got a little testing thing here.
26:42Right.
26:42We're just going to use
26:43your grip strength.
26:44And they did a study
26:45of 150,000 people.
26:47Yeah.
26:47And they found that your grip strength
26:48is a better marker
26:50of your long-term health
26:51than your blood pressure.
26:52Really?
26:52So, that's why I brought it today
26:53just to see,
26:55because it's such an easy thing to do.
26:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:56You can get these online so easily.
26:58I'm excited.
26:59Do you want to have a go?
26:59Yeah.
27:00Do you want it?
27:00Marvellous.
27:01Okay.
27:01The idea is that you hold it like that
27:03at right angles.
27:04Right.
27:04Okay.
27:05And what you're doing
27:05is squeezing as hard as you can
27:07when I say now.
27:09So, ready?
27:10And on three.
27:10One, two, three, go.
27:12Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:13Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:15Good man.
27:1728.2.
27:18Yeah, well, that's the bad one.
27:20Obviously, this is not necessarily the perfect test
27:22if you've got hand arthritis.
27:23Yeah, yeah.
27:24But 28.2, what that means is
27:26that you have a level of
27:27sort of hand strength and fitness
27:29that is above the minimum level,
27:31which is really important.
27:32The minimum level for men
27:33is kind of about 25 kilograms.
27:36And it's 18 for women.
27:37Right.
27:38If yours is below that,
27:39you're actually really at high risk
27:40of having low muscle mass.
27:42You're more likely to fall over,
27:43more likely to break your hip,
27:45more likely to lose your mobility,
27:46and more likely to end up in a home.
27:48So, it's really important.
27:49I'm worried now.
27:49You're going to smash me to pieces on this.
27:52Right.
27:52So, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:54Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:56Done.
27:5743.
27:5843!
27:58Jeez, I'll never hear the end of it.
28:01Can I just say,
28:02can I just say,
28:03that is the sign of a healthy level of muscle at your age.
28:06That's fantastic.
28:07Oh, please.
28:0843.9.
28:10That's amazing.
28:1115 seconds ago,
28:12I thought I'm heading to a care home.
28:14No, mate, no.
28:15Now I'm striding past it saying,
28:17hello, Paul.
28:17Yeah.
28:20Hey, man,
28:21wouldn't you have a bit of mulled wine?
28:22I'd love a bit of mulled wine.
28:24I made this myself on my farm.
28:27No, you didn't.
28:27Correct.
28:32Well, thank you so much for coming.
28:34Merry Christmas.
28:34For our bagside consultations.
28:36They're a joy.
28:40Look how pleased you are.
28:53There's a kind of musty smell around.
28:58I think it's...
28:59I can only imagine it's you, Bob.
29:02Be slightly more...
29:04What do you mean?
29:04Is it biscuity?
29:05Is it biscuit?
29:07Oxo-cubin old man.
29:09Yeah, well, I had an oxo-cubin with biscuits,
29:12and I'm an old man.
29:12And you're an old man.
29:13Well, there we are.
29:13Got it spot on, then.
29:17Let's have a smell of you.
29:18Go on.
29:21What do you reckon?
29:22Don't know.
29:22Have you been eating eggs?
29:24Oh, no, that's probably trapped wind in me waders, isn't it?
29:28Oh, great.
29:28Yeah.
29:31I'm going to have to go off
29:32and get the awards ceremony ready.
29:35Oh, OK.
29:36Be smart, though, Paul.
29:38Yeah?
29:39What, for the awards?
29:39Yeah, and be respectful of the occasion.
29:41I've arranged transport for you.
29:43Don't you worry.
29:44Well, will the occasion respect me?
29:46Of course it will.
29:48Ish.
29:49Yeah.
29:50See you at the awards, Paul.
29:51I cannot wait.
29:54We should have an award for wrist strength.
29:56The hopes we had
29:59Were much too high
30:02Way out of reach
30:05But we have to try
30:08The game will never be over
30:12Because we're keeping the dream
30:15Will never be over
30:17The night
30:17How are you?
30:22How are you?
30:23Lovely to see you.
30:23You're OK?
30:24Lovely to see you.
30:25Welcome.
30:26Thanks for having us, Paul.
30:27I was actually looking for Rick Steyer's place.
30:29Yeah, just down there.
30:31But, listen, I am absolutely honoured
30:34That you've chosen us
30:36For these prestigious awards.
30:37And aren't they?
30:38Yeah, they are.
30:40So come on in.
30:41A Cornish Christmas dinner
30:50That's what we're looking for
30:51Yeah, well, this is a Cornish Christmas dinner
30:53Right
30:53With a difference
30:55Because we're going to replace
30:56What people would ordinarily
30:57Probably have
30:58Turkey, hams, beef
31:00We're going to do
31:01A whole baked turbot
31:03But with all the trimmings
31:04And a lovely sort of turbot chicken gravy
31:07Which you're going to help me to do
31:09Yes, please
31:09I mean, I've got five BAFTAs
31:16Five
31:16But nothing beats
31:18A gone fishing lifetime achievement
31:21Just like to thank
31:23My family
31:25But most of all
31:26Ted
31:27For being such a stalwart companion
31:29Right about it, will ya?
31:32With cooking
31:32It always starts at the beginning
31:34Building up those layers of flavour
31:36Yeah
31:36So in here we've got some rosemary and thyme
31:38Right
31:38So what we're doing
31:39Is we just take some of that rosemary and thyme
31:41Yep
31:42Then rub it between our hands
31:43Because what
31:44All herbs
31:45They contain essential oils
31:47So if you just have a smell of that now
31:48Lovely
31:48All right
31:49Just get that into our garlic
31:50Our shallots
31:51Beginning to smell like Christmas
31:52How much does a kitchen like this cost?
31:56Half a million pounds
31:57Ooh
31:58Ooh
31:58Yeah
32:00Oops
32:00Sell some food then
32:02Yeah
32:03Yeah
32:04Come on Ted
32:07Come on
32:08I can hardly contain myself
32:10I don't know about you
32:11I've come in my own time
32:13I've come in my own time
32:14Afternoon, sir
32:16Can I come aboard?
32:18Yeah
32:19Whoa, look at that fella
32:26It's a beauty
32:27Yes, it is
32:28So that's what a turbot looks like
32:30Yeah, that's a turbot
32:31We regard this as king of the sea
32:33Right
32:33It's just superior in flavour
32:35With it being Christmas
32:37I've got a lovely Cornish sparkling wine
32:39In with the onions
32:40All right
32:41Lay the turbot on top
32:42And bake in the oven
32:43Right
32:44Let's do this
32:46Isn't that lovely, Ted?
32:56Look, there's pad stow over there
32:57That's where we're going
32:58Apparently
32:58That's where the big ceremony is
33:00Good foot
33:06Good boy
33:07You know I'm up for the next James Bond
33:11Don't you?
33:11Oh, do me a favour
33:13Cut a dash, didn't I, mate, eh?
33:24Ted, you're deaf as a pose, didn't you?
33:26Pardon?
33:31Right, let's get these cabbages on
33:32So we're just going to brush them
33:33Yeah
33:34With a little bit of butter
33:34Right
33:35And then I want you to put them
33:36From that side down
33:37Yep
33:37On the barbecue
33:38Perfect
33:39And we've just lightly steamed these cabbages
33:42Right
33:43So that they're nice and cooked
33:44And we just get flavour from the barbecue
33:46That's beautiful
33:48Yes, now we're cooking
33:49Come, Ted
33:52Come on
33:53Walk, there he is
33:54This is the place
33:55Little old man
33:57I'll tell you what, you know
33:58Dogs aren't normally allowed in here
33:59Come on
34:00I'm allowed anywhere I want, mate
34:02I'll go anywhere I like
34:03South London, East London
34:05South of France
34:06Cervaiso
34:07Venezuela
34:08Sorry, ladybird
34:21Good evening, sir
34:23Hello
34:24What do you want?
34:26Well, could I look at the menu
34:27See the wine list?
34:29Would you like to see the wine list?
34:30Yeah, I would, thank you
34:31There you go
34:32Actually, we don't serve wine
34:35To the over 80s
34:37It can put them into shock
34:39Are you a halfwit or something?
34:43Some people say, sir
34:44Yeah, I'm not surprised
34:45Will you be requiring the entertainment tonight, sir?
34:50Oh, well, yeah
34:51I see you've got a hound with you
34:52No hounds
34:53Yeah, no, he's got a special dispensation
34:56He's not any old hound
34:57Who is he then?
34:58He's Ted
34:59Ted the dog?
35:00Yeah
35:00He's actually a sort of guest of Bob Mortimus
35:04Who did you say?
35:09You're so easy, aren't you?
35:10One more time
35:11It's you, isn't it?
35:12It's you
35:13Yeah
35:13You can see a wine list
35:16Yeah, thank you, sir
35:17There you go
35:18Thank you very much
35:19I've been preparing
35:19I'm going to call it a Cornish Christmas dinner
35:22Not what you might expect
35:24Really?
35:25Have you been helping in the kitchen?
35:27I've been helping, yeah
35:27Have you?
35:28Because I heard the fire alarm go off
35:30Yeah
35:30What did you do?
35:31I was burning cabbage
35:33Oh, it really?
35:34Yeah
35:34Oh, that will do it then
35:35What do I need?
35:39Looking forward to this
35:40It's on this way
35:41It looks amazing
35:42Cheers
35:44Cheers
35:45Oh, it didn't clink
35:47That's fancy glasses
35:48Isn't it?
35:49Wow
35:49God
35:52Look at that
35:54Oh, thank you so much
35:55Roast turbot
35:56With all the trimmings
35:57Roast turbot
35:58God
35:58And there you have it
36:00Enjoy
36:01Thank you
36:02And thank you for your help, Bob
36:03Thank you, no worries
36:04Thank you, Paul
36:05I'm going to
36:06Come on
36:06Oh
36:07Mmm
36:07Tirebat is amazing
36:09You really do spoil me, Bob
36:12Well, work stews come along
36:14Once a year
36:15We might as well
36:16Make the most of it, Paul
36:18How many categories are there this year?
36:20Two
36:20So that'd be quick, yeah?
36:22There will be laughter
36:29And prizes galore
36:32Who's going to miss
36:34And who's going to score
36:35It's the gone fishing
36:38Annual Awards
36:41Who loves you, baby?
36:47First up, Paul
36:48Employee of the year
36:50This is the trophy you won last year
36:52So it has to be returned, I'm afraid
36:55Oh, no
36:57I don't really want to give it back, Rob
36:58It's become such a part of my life
37:00But
37:00Here we go
37:01Nominations are
37:03Let's see
37:04Woo, woo, woo
37:06Yeah
37:06Let's fish
37:07Up
37:08Oh
37:09Yeah, you got me
37:10First cast, you got me, Bob
37:11Well, why were you still there?
37:12Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob
37:13Yes, I know
37:14There you go
37:15Without knowing
37:16That's angling, Paul
37:17Do you like watching me fish?
37:19Yeah
37:20You can learn, can't you?
37:23Yes, he's in!
37:25Do not wind, do not
37:26Wind, Bob
37:28I'm not winding
37:29I'm just tidying up the reel
37:30There's my dancing
37:32That's specialist stuff, that
37:34Wallop, yes!
37:36Wow, he's fresh
37:37Look at the colours in there
37:38Whoa
37:38Ted's arriving in style, isn't he?
37:41Yeah, well, he's at
37:42No, he's going to be Ted, isn't he?
37:43Of course he's going to be too
37:44I'm calling me on time, all right?
37:46You look so heroic
37:48Oh, look at that guy
37:49Oh, jeez!
37:52Oh, there's a fault
37:54Oh, there's another
37:55What's that salmon, is it?
37:57It's not for you, Ted
37:58Yeah, but it is
38:00I'm pleased yourselves
38:02Cool, haven't we had some laughs?
38:04Haven't we had some laughs?
38:07Oh, this is the moment
38:08Yeah?
38:10Go on
38:10And the winner is
38:14Bob Mortimer
38:17Oh, yes, please
38:20Wow
38:21It's a revelation
38:24Oh, come on, Paul
38:25It's well-deserved
38:26I'm so pleased for you, Bob
38:27And there's a trophy as well
38:28Oh, for God's sake
38:29It's actually a crown
38:30Oh, that feels good
38:36There we are
38:37Did one of the jewels just fall off?
38:39Yeah, it did
38:39Heavy is the head that wears a crown in your case, isn't it?
38:43Size of it
38:44The way of the...
38:44Put your head on me
38:45Well, there we are
38:47There's one category down
38:48Let's not prolong the agony
38:50Let's crack on
38:50I'll take this off
38:51Out of respect for the award, okay?
38:53Okay, thank you
38:54Because the next award is
38:56That's...
38:57This is a biggie
38:58Lifetime achievement
38:59If you've given it to yourself
39:01I'm walking out of this restaurant
39:03I'm never looking back
39:04Don't walk out, Paul
39:05I'm going to, Bob
39:06If you've given it to yourself
39:07Let's have a look
39:09Oh, let's have a look
39:09Let's have a look
39:10Ted
39:12Cute little Billy
39:13Billy, I thought that nine years ago, sir
39:15You come in fishing with us, Ted?
39:19Teddy
39:19Mind the rod
39:21Well, this is worse than me, isn't he?
39:23Can you shift over a bit, Ted?
39:25What's he actually achieved?
39:27Well, he's had a lifetime, hasn't he?
39:28Oh, yeah, I'm spying
39:29Teddy
39:30Teddy, fetch
39:31Go on
39:32Nah
39:32Is Ted a dog?
39:35He's a species all of his own, isn't he, Ted?
39:38You all right, Ted?
39:40It's like we've super glued him there, isn't it?
39:42Look, you can move, Ted
39:44Yeah, it's Ted, isn't it?
39:46You're not going to come sort of
39:48Blindside and win, are you?
39:50Well, I don't think so
39:51I haven't only unbroke yet
39:52Look at the state of him
39:53And that's when he went insane
39:56Remember
39:58But you have always got us two
40:01That's right, Ted
40:02Yeah
40:02Us
40:02Well, let's just confirm it, Paul
40:05The winner is
40:06Ted
40:07Well deserved, Ted
40:08Well done, Ted
40:09Absolutely
40:10If ever there was a winner there was
40:12Then Ted's the winner
40:13That was
40:13That was, yeah
40:14Teddy, you got a crown
40:15Wow
40:16Let's present ourselves to the camera, Ted
40:20Kings of the show
40:25There is someone else on the show, isn't there, Ted?
40:28Yeah, I don't know
40:29He's just sort of a shadow
40:31Oh, don't go, Paul
40:36You might win next year
40:37He's off
40:42We are the champions
40:46No time for losing
40:50Because we are the champions
40:54Of the world
40:57Come on, Ted
40:58That's one of Paul's
41:00Leave it alone
41:00Come on
41:01Breakfast, Paul
41:26I'll put a little bit of holly on yours
41:28Cheer you up
41:29After last night
41:30You're not bitter, are you, Paul?
41:32Forgotten all that
41:33I'm an adult, Bob
41:34So now I'm not bitter
41:35It just reflects badly on you, you know
41:37We've got a long drive today
41:39We're going west, west, west, west, west
41:41Where are we going?
41:42Mouse hole
41:43But do you know what they call it?
41:44The Cornish people
41:45It'll be muzzle or something like that
41:47Not far off, actually
41:48Mousel
41:48Mousel
41:50Mousel
41:50But for you and me
41:51It will forever be
41:52Mouse
41:53Mousel
41:55Mousel
41:55Ah, you pet
41:56Right, come on
41:58If I had a deep voice
42:08I would sing a ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-booo
42:12All day long
42:15I'd sing a ling-a-ling
42:17If I had a very deep voice
42:19If I had a high-fives, I would yodel-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle-loodle!
42:30We're going to pass by a place called St. Michael's Mount.
42:33You know one of them islands off the sea?
42:36Shall we stop and give Ted a walk?
42:38I mean, I'm seizing up here, aren't you?
42:40I wouldn't mind a leg stretch, Bob.
42:49Come on, Teddy, you got it.
42:52Come on, let's go.
42:53Come on, Chase.
42:56Come on, Chase.
43:02Bah, humbug, well, that's too strong
43:04because it is my favorite holiday.
43:06But all this year's been a busy blur.
43:08Don't think I have the energy.
43:11Spread my already mad rush
43:12just because it's Disney season.
43:14The perfect gift for me would be
43:16completions and connections
43:18left from last year
43:20There's your first little look at Mousel.
43:23Oh, look.
43:25Quintessentially Cornish.
43:29Car, it wasn't designed for the car, was it, Bob?
43:32Getting on everyone's nerves
43:34who are trying to enjoy this peaceful town.
43:37Oh, look at those boats as well, aren't they lovely?
43:40I love a painted boat, don't you, Bob?
43:41Yeah, sweet.
43:42See that light blue? That's a nice one.
43:44Oh, that's a nice one. Look, the black and yellow.
43:48Don't like that one.
43:51Taking me out on the boat, aren't you?
43:53I am.
43:53Last chance to catch a fish.
43:57Come on, Teddy.
43:59Wow.
44:00What a morning, Ovo.
44:01What a morning.
44:02Now, the guy we're going out with today on the boat, Neil,
44:05he's got a very special relationship with Mousel.
44:07He's a Mousel boy.
44:09Yeah.
44:09But his dad was on the boat that went out,
44:131981, Penley disaster,
44:15where all the lifeboatmen were lost at sea.
44:18I mean, I have heard of that, yeah.
44:19Yeah.
44:20And the boat they went to rescue as well went down.
44:22So, proper tragedy.
44:24He'll have a tell-to-tell then.
44:25He certainly will, mate.
44:26Neil!
44:34Hello, Neil.
44:35Morning, gentlemen.
44:36Thank you so much, Neil, for having us on board.
44:38Neil, happy to meet you.
44:39Paul, I can't remember his name.
44:43What's our chances today, Neil?
44:45It's fishing, guys, you know that.
44:47Yeah.
44:47It's not called catch, it's fishing,
44:48but we've got a good chance of catching a mack or two
44:50and maybe a pollock or two.
44:51We'll see what we can do.
44:53You've got an involvement with the Penley disaster, haven't you?
44:56Yeah, my father was lost on the Penley lifeboat,
44:58and I was turned away that night.
45:00I was a lifeboatman when I was only 17,
45:03but like everyone, every man,
45:04when I was 17, I knew everything.
45:06Yeah.
45:06You've got to remember, I've been playing rain in boats
45:08since I was four or five years old.
45:09That's all I've ever done.
45:10Trevely in the coxswain refused to take me.
45:13He refused to take two from one family,
45:14so I was turned away.
45:16Wow.
45:16And your dad was lost?
45:17My dad was lost, yeah.
45:18I mean, never forget them.
45:19I'm fiercely proud of what they did that night.
45:20Of course, of course, yeah.
45:22Weather conditions was the worst in living memory.
45:24I've never seen weather like that.
45:25How old was your dad, Neil?
45:27My dad was 42.
45:28Ah, dude.
45:29Right.
45:30And of course, all of them,
45:30they're all family, friends, all mates.
45:32Yeah, of course, it's such a small community,
45:34and tight, obviously, it has to be, doesn't it?
45:36It completely changed Mousel forever.
45:38Mousel never recovered from that.
45:39Oh.
45:41Do you do anything to sort of celebrate
45:43the memory of those people?
45:44On the 19th, we have the famous Christmas lights,
45:46and they're dimmed, and we have our own memories,
45:48and all you have your own, like, little, you know.
45:50Yeah.
45:50Let's fish today in memory of your dad.
45:53Yeah, we'll do that.
45:53See if we can get something for him.
45:54Over there, Bob, look.
46:15You see that cross?
46:16I think that's a memorial light to the Penley victims.
46:20Oh, wait.
46:33What we're doing, we're trying for a pallet,
46:34and we've got some silver shrimp on.
46:37I've hit the bottom, so I'll put that over now.
46:38Yeah, come on over now.
46:39Just wind up a little bit.
46:42And the idea is to wind up nice and slowly
46:44to keep that lure moving all the time.
46:46I keep winding all the rest.
46:47Yeah.
46:52Couldn't have picked a better day for it.
46:54Oh, we're lucky, aren't we?
46:55We're lucky, lads.
46:58Ted's loving it.
46:59Are you, mate, loving this?
47:01He's having a good time, isn't he?
47:02I'm searching for the bottom, Paul.
47:26I'm hitting the bottom there.
47:27And I'm going to fish down there for a bit.
47:29Yeah.
47:38It will be funny, Christmas this year,
47:40without Grandad there.
47:41Yeah, yeah.
47:42It's strange.
47:43You know, you hear that some older people
47:46who kind of know they're on their last legs
47:48want to get a last Christmas in.
47:50Well, that's exactly, yeah, I'm pretty sure
47:52that's what happened with my parents.
47:53They both died on the same date.
47:56I mean, years apart, but January the 5th, thanks.
48:00Yeah.
48:01I mean, I don't know how sentient my mum was about
48:04or conscious of Christmas,
48:06but it's an extraordinary coincidence that...
48:12Because that's supposed to be, isn't it?
48:13That time of year is...
48:15Yeah.
48:15And I wonder if people have just managed to hold on.
48:18Hold on after Christmas.
48:19See the familiar faces one last time.
48:23Yeah.
48:24Well, we'll never know, really, probably.
48:28My dear old dad always said to me,
48:30and I've always tried to live my life like that,
48:31just be nice, that's all you've got to do.
48:33Yeah.
48:34Treat people as you want to be treated.
48:35You can't go far wrong, I don't think.
48:36Yeah.
48:37True, mate.
48:39Paul treats me pretty bad.
48:40Does he?
48:41Yeah.
48:41I've seen that, yeah.
48:42He's for his own good, though, Neil.
48:47Keep him on his toes.
48:49Yeah.
48:54Come on, you're not fishing very well.
48:56Sort yourself out.
48:57Come on, Bob.
48:59The people of Mousel depend on you.
49:01This could be our last chance, you know.
49:03I know.
49:05Neil wants to get to the bookies.
49:09Is there a bookies in Mousel?
49:11No.
49:12We had three grocery shops, a shoe shop,
49:16two butchers when I grew up.
49:18There's none anymore.
49:19No shoes?
49:20They're all gone.
49:21Should we do a pill, answer in a pill?
49:23Send shoes to Mousel?
49:24Yeah.
49:36Oh!
49:37Oh?
49:38He's in.
49:39That might be the bottom, actually.
49:40Come on.
49:44I don't know what it is.
49:45Shall I wind in or keep going?
49:46A couple of mackerel here, look.
49:49Have you got mackerel?
49:49Yeah.
49:50Well done, Paul.
49:51Hold on.
49:51Let's get that hand twisted.
49:53Look!
49:53Woo-hoo-hoo!
49:54Mackerel!
49:55Two mackerel.
49:56Look at that.
49:57Fresh as pain.
49:58Look at them.
49:59Oh, you mind your fingers.
50:00Wow.
50:01It's a very pretty fish, you know, Paul.
50:03It really is.
50:04Let me take the rod for you.
50:04Yeah, you grab that.
50:05Wow.
50:06Look at it.
50:07Electric fish, isn't it?
50:09What a creature.
50:11Amazing.
50:12Wow.
50:12That's what we've come for, and that is our first ever mackerel.
50:17Wow.
50:17Look at the sheen on it.
50:19It took us seven or eight years.
50:24It's been brilliant, Neil.
50:25It's been lovely.
50:26What a glorious day.
50:27But we've got our Christmas night to compile.
50:30Oh-ho-ho!
50:30What have you got lined up for me, Bob?
50:32You'll have to wait and see.
50:34Oh, well, well, well.
50:36Excited.
50:36Maybe this Christmas will mean something more.
50:41Maybe this year love will appear
50:46Deeper than ever before
50:50And maybe forget...
50:53Wind yourself down here, Paul.
50:57Halt.
50:58Because we are staying here.
51:01Lovely.
51:02Do you know what it is?
51:03No.
51:03Quaint.
51:04Quaint's a good description.
51:05Yeah, it is, isn't it?
51:06Quaint works.
51:07Come on in.
51:09Maybe this Christmas...
51:10Whoa!
51:14Christmas is here, Bob.
51:17Oh, how lovely.
51:18That is just what I ordered.
51:20Christmas vibe.
51:21Hello, Christmas.
51:23Lovely.
51:25Ooh.
51:25You manage those stairs, old-timer?
51:27Yeah, not too bad.
51:29Oh, this is lovely.
51:31Look at this.
51:31Oh, a little living room.
51:33Nice.
51:34Twin beds.
51:35Have you brought your twins?
51:36Yeah, this is a nice one.
51:38Harbour View.
51:38Bob, look at this, look.
51:42All the way up.
51:43Oh, yeah.
51:45Wow.
51:46I look after you.
51:47I really look after you.
51:48Don't you, don't you, mate?
51:49Happy Christmas.
51:51Where's my briefcase?
51:52I'll give you a clue, Ted.
51:54It's right here.
51:56Here we go.
51:59It's Laurel and Hardy, isn't it?
52:03Watch your ears, Ted.
52:25Nice.
52:25A few more of these.
52:28Come on, old-timer.
52:29Oh, look at this.
52:33Cool.
52:34Who have you had in?
52:35Laurence Llewellyn Bowen?
52:36No.
52:37It's amazing, look at it.
52:38Cheers for a lovely Christmas trip.
52:40Yeah.
52:41Is this cornish champagne?
52:43Mm.
52:44I've got your present, Paul.
52:46Have you?
52:46Yeah.
52:47Is that okay?
52:48I think it is, because I've got one for you.
52:50Would you like it?
52:52Yes, please.
52:52Do you think you deserve it?
52:54Yes, I do.
52:55Even after all your gloating with your crowns and your self-aggrandisation, you still think
53:00you deserve a present?
53:01If you don't want to give it to us, don't.
53:03Of course I do, Bob.
53:04Because I am give, give, give.
53:07Oh.
53:08Ooh.
53:10Go on, then.
53:12Yep.
53:14There it is.
53:15Oh, it's a clonker.
53:16It is, isn't it?
53:17It suits me.
53:18It's gentlemanly.
53:19And if you get annoyed with me, you can just go...
53:22Like that.
53:23And if I've made a mistake in the bath, we can just quickly move it.
53:26You can just scoop it up.
53:29Thank you very much.
53:30I can tell this is actually rather beautiful, Bob.
53:32It is a cracker, isn't it?
53:33Walnut?
53:34Yeah.
53:34No, do you want one?
53:35Oh.
53:37It's just there on the plate.
53:39Thank you very much.
53:40Oh, no, it's a beauty, isn't it?
53:41That makes me so happy.
53:43I mean, it is lovely, but mine's a better present.
53:46Happy Christmas to you.
53:47Competitive, Bob.
53:47Thank you, Bob.
53:49I wonder what this is.
53:50If you like it, I hope you like it.
53:51Is it a picture of Bob in a crown?
53:52It's a gone fishing calendar.
53:56It's nice.
54:00Do you see?
54:00I thought I'd make you look nice.
54:02I see.
54:03Well, I look pretty good like that, don't I?
54:04I look like Lawrence Llewellyn Bowie, don't I?
54:06Yeah, just relaxing in front of some books.
54:10There's a nice one of you, isn't it?
54:13Isn't that nice, you and Ted?
54:14Oh, you look quite sharp there, don't you?
54:21A little tiny head.
54:25Oh, look at that.
54:27Boom!
54:30That was a bit rude boy mode, wasn't it?
54:32Yeah, I thought you'd like that, bud.
54:33I tell you what, Bob, it's not far off, isn't it?
54:39Well, thank you.
54:40What a treat.
54:42I should probably go and get our little meal.
54:45Go on, then.
54:45We're going to have turkey and some cake.
54:48Oh.
54:49It's a beauty, isn't it?
54:50My favourite meal of the Christmas period.
54:52Oh, go on, slice me off some breast.
55:00Beautiful.
55:00It's nicely cooked.
55:01Oh, it is, isn't it?
55:02Look at that.
55:03Lovely, yeah.
55:06Ah, you cheeky fella.
55:09It's actually a turkey cake.
55:10It's a turkey cake?
55:11It's a turkey cake.
55:13Oh, lovely.
55:14Isn't that sensational?
55:15I'm going in.
55:16Well done, Bob, a lovely bit of trickery there.
55:18Christmas trickery.
55:19Lovely, mate.
55:20Because you know Christmas is a time when you can be a little bit naughty.
55:24Change my weight.
55:26You want a carrot?
55:27Go on.
55:29Oh, hold on, mate.
55:31Oh, what?
55:31Wait a minute.
55:33Wait a minute, you two tricksters.
55:36What are you doing to me?
55:37Well, bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had.
55:39LAUGHTER
55:40LAUGHTER
55:41Pretty much the end of our Cornish Christmas trip, Bob.
55:52It is.
55:53How are you feeling about going home?
55:54Because it's going to be your first Christmas without your granddad?
55:58It will be different, and we'll all miss him.
56:00Yeah.
56:01And it will never be the same again.
56:03No.
56:04But we'll pull a cracker.
56:05Yeah.
56:05On his anniversary.
56:06Yeah, yeah.
56:07He liked a cracker.
56:08Well, it's actually good to have very fond, positive memories of people, you know.
56:13I do with my parents.
56:15Those, my parents, your granddad, they had a long life, so...
56:19Did have a long life.
56:20And here's a nice thing, is round our Christmas table when the boys were young
56:25and granddad was sat there, the little boys and granddad would always wear their paper hat.
56:31Right.
56:32We were all too vain and full of ourselves.
56:35Yeah.
56:35But all granddad and the kids...
56:37And the boys.
56:38That's what granddad's for, really, isn't it?
56:39Granddads are for wearing paper hats.
56:41Sit there, be quiet, put the hat on, granddad.
56:42LAUGHTER
56:43And carry them home, home, home from the sea
56:49Angel of mercy, answer our plea
56:53Can you hear that?
56:55I can, yeah.
56:56So, sing it.
56:58Yeah, well, yeah.
56:59You've done.
57:00Come with me to the window.
57:02For a final Christmas spectacular.
57:05Come on, mate.
57:08Joy, joy, joy
57:13Joy, joy
57:16The mouse hole.
57:18Male voice
57:20Male voice
57:20Choir
57:21Let earth receive
57:24A gift
57:25I love a male voice
57:27I know you do.
57:28I know you do.
57:29Let every heart prepare him room
57:33Joy to the world
57:36The saviour reigns
57:39Let all their songs
57:42Enclosed
57:43Happy Christmas, Paul.
57:45Merry Christmas, Paul, mate.
57:46Merry Christmas.
57:46Thanks, mate.
57:47What an amazing truth.
57:48Joy
57:49Joy
57:50Joy
57:51Joy
57:52Joy
57:53Joy
57:54Joy
57:56Joy
57:57Joy
57:58Joy
57:59Joy
58:00Thank you
58:01And Merry Christmas to you all.
58:04Thank you very much.
58:05And the way.
58:06Cheers and go on.
58:08Cheers and go on.
58:11There's no more little secrets
58:13We haven't yet disclosed
58:16We bother living daylights
58:19And then it's one too close
58:22And all our cards for Christmas
58:25Are written to us love
58:28Can't be found
58:31Who's got the most
58:34Said we'd be close
58:37Said we'd work perfectly
58:40Celebrities in a spin for Michael McIntyre's Christmas Wheel
58:45Christmas Day at a quarter to seven
58:47A chill in the air next on BBC Two Wales
58:50New from Mark Gatiss
58:52Who else?
58:53A ghost story for Christmas
58:55To the child
58:57That's your mother
58:58It's too close for a lover
59:01It's too close for a lover
59:04We are each other
59:07We are each other
59:24It's too close for a lover
59:25Club C seem to you as a partner
59:26And then they are all
59:27A girl
59:28A girl
59:29Look okay
59:29If we can't
59:31And go Isaac
59:31That's a beautiful
59:32Let's do it
59:32And take a selfie
59:33And come on
59:33Welt
59:34Go home
59:35Too close
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