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Taskmaster - Season 20 Episode 102 -
(special) Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2026: The Opposite of Ducking (2)
(special) Taskmaster's New Year Treat 2026: The Opposite of Ducking (2)
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00:00MUSIC
00:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22Hello!
00:24Hello, I am Greg Javis.
00:26Welcome, everybody, to the Taskmaster New Year's treat.
00:30And I suppose the grand final.
00:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:35Last episode, they rolled the dice, they grappled with bears
00:39and completed an inspiring marathon.
00:41But crucially, all of them have ruined the credibility
00:45in their chosen field of work.
00:47They're almost certainly going to have to sell their houses
00:50and take their families to live in the woods.
00:52Why would they carry on for a second episode?
00:55Mummy, there's nothing left to eat.
00:57But look at the eyebrow trophy, child.
01:00Look what Mummy won.
01:01My victory is your meal!
01:03That's why.
01:05LAUGHTER
01:08So, for the second and final time,
01:10please welcome the phenomenal...
01:12Big Sur!
01:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:15Jill Scott!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18Sunrider!
01:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:21Susie Dent!
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:23And Rose Aileen Ellen!
01:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:27And next to me, a man who says he likes his women
01:30like he likes his coffee.
01:32Not able to drive, vote or answer back.
01:35LAUGHTER
01:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38Hello, everyone.
01:41Hello. Hello, women.
01:43I'm so excited, Greg.
01:45So excited about the show.
01:46So excited we're going to spend Saturday together.
01:48Finally.
01:49I didn't know we were, but I'm very, very happy.
01:52But what are we going to do for the day?
01:53Well, you can choose, Greg.
01:54You can choose this or that.
01:55We're going to do this or that.
01:56First of all, how will we spend the day?
01:57This or that?
01:58That.
01:59Oh, we're going to go shopping.
02:00We're going to go shopping instead of the aquarium.
02:02We could have gone to the aquarium.
02:03OK.
02:04Are we going to drink?
02:05What are we going to drink?
02:06This or that?
02:07This.
02:08This.
02:09Oh, cocktails.
02:10Ooh.
02:11OK.
02:12What are we going to do in the evening after the drinks?
02:13This or that?
02:14That.
02:15That.
02:16Oh, we're going to the theatre.
02:17What will we see?
02:18It's exciting.
02:19Then where will we go?
02:20There we go.
02:21This or that.
02:22LAUGHTER
02:23Going to that.
02:24That.
02:25Oh, we're going back to yours, Greg.
02:27LAUGHTER
02:29It is getting more interesting.
02:30Could have gone back to mine.
02:31Yeah.
02:32And where shall we sleep?
02:34LAUGHTER
02:39That?
02:40That.
02:41It's bunk beds.
02:42Always bunk beds.
02:43Always bunk beds.
02:44It's got to be bunk beds.
02:45APPLAUSE
02:46Yeah?
02:47It's all right.
02:49OK, it's time for the prize task.
02:51What are we going to learn about them today, Alex?
02:53Well, Greg, I think we're going to learn a lot,
02:55because they've each brought in the most exotic thing
02:58from their actual home.
03:00Yes.
03:01Ooh.
03:02I know.
03:03Earlier on, I asked Greg,
03:04hey, do you want to know the most exotic thing from my home?
03:06And he said no.
03:07So let's see what these guys have brought in.
03:09Five points for the most exotic thing.
03:11Five exotic things for the episode winner.
03:13And also, it's all great fun, isn't it?
03:15Oh, it's loads of fun.
03:16Shall I start with Sam Rider?
03:17Oh, shit.
03:18Whoo!
03:19Ooh!
03:20I bought a jumpsuit that I wore to sing at Eurovision.
03:25Here it is.
03:26Ooh!
03:28Where was the finals?
03:29In an exotic country?
03:30Turin, in a business park.
03:32Oh, yeah.
03:33Ooh!
03:34The mysteries of the business park.
03:37It is from his actual home, but it's also been in a museum,
03:39because it's made, well, it's like your bed.
03:41It's black denim with 15,000 beads, pearls and glass crystals.
03:44Wow.
03:45What a coincidence.
03:47Sam, it's a strong opener.
03:49Maybe.
03:50The last episode won't define you.
03:51OK.
03:52Rose?
03:53Well, it's my, um, it's the actual thing, it's my magnet collection.
03:57Yes, she's got a magnet collection.
03:59I don't think things are looking good for Rose.
04:02Look, look, have a look.
04:04They've got quite a lot.
04:05But I thought maybe you might like one of them,
04:08which I think is the most exotic of all,
04:10which is, um, the lady from Spain.
04:12The lady from Spain.
04:14Whoa!
04:15You think that I can be won over by a large-breasted magnet,
04:20do you?
04:21No, it...
04:23Yeah, I'm sorry.
04:24I'm really sorry.
04:25I let you down.
04:26LAUGHTER
04:28Anyway, I...
04:29No, I'm probably getting there.
04:30Maybe two points.
04:31That maybe.
04:32LAUGHTER
04:34It's so fun.
04:35I got one point.
04:36We don't know that.
04:37All the people who are left are more than capable
04:39of bringing something worth it.
04:40You know that.
04:41Now, Big Zoo, let me answer a question before I ask it.
04:44The answer is yes.
04:46Can you beat the fridge magnets?
04:48No, I didn't see the exotic part.
04:50You didn't see the exotic part?
04:52So you just think the task is to bring in something from your home?
04:56Yeah!
04:57Yeah!
04:58I have bought my, um, incredibly massive television.
05:02LAUGHTER
05:03Oh, my God!
05:04Oh, my God!
05:05LAUGHTER
05:06LAUGHTER
05:07No!
05:08No!
05:09She's back in the back.
05:11It's a big telly.
05:12There we go.
05:13It's not a joke.
05:14LAUGHTER
05:1585-inch.
05:1685-inch telly roll.
05:18You told me you were getting a new one, so you just wanted something to get rid of it.
05:25You've got our production crew to get rid of your old...
05:28No!
05:29No!
05:30No!
05:31Do any of you have an 85-inch in your house?
05:33That is a very personal question.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36I would have bet my life those magnets were coming last.
05:41I would have bet my life on them.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:44Jill?
05:45Erm, I did compete in a jungle PV programme, so I've actually brought in my hat from the
05:50jungle.
05:51WHISTLE BLOWS
05:52It is signed by Boy George, Matt Hancock, so...
05:55Oh!
05:56Wow!
05:57Wow!
05:58Oh, wow!
05:59Why don't you go through that?
06:00Huh?
06:01I mean, it was already exotic, but...
06:03Matt?
06:04It's signed by the former health secretary...
06:08LAUGHTER
06:10...the Conservative Party.
06:12LAUGHTER
06:13Oh, it's pretty exotic, though.
06:14Come on.
06:15One of my magic from a jungle!
06:17Oh!
06:18I watched I'm a Celeb on that telly!
06:20LAUGHTER
06:23Susie, the heat's on.
06:25I haven't watched The Jungle from this, but I have brought in a loo seat,
06:30which is quite exotic. It's covered in gold leaf.
06:34Also, this is Susie Dent's actual toilet seat.
06:36Yes?
06:37Have a look at this, Craig.
06:38Oh!
06:39Wow!
06:40She's a beauty.
06:41LAUGHTER
06:42Where did you buy it?
06:43I had it made.
06:44Yes!
06:45Oh!
06:46Why did you ask that question?
06:47One of my favourite words is bumf.
06:49You know, the bumf.
06:50And that is bum fodder.
06:52Short for bum fodder, which is loo paper.
06:54Bum fodder?
06:55Yeah, bum fodder.
06:56It's the idea that you're feeding the bum.
06:58Well, I guess so.
06:59LAUGHTER
07:00I think it's a lovely, exotic...
07:03..who hole?
07:05LAUGHTER
07:06Here we go.
07:07Ready?
07:08Scoring?
07:09Yes.
07:10Big zoo, one point.
07:11Yes.
07:12Obviously, the magnets, two points.
07:13I did say I got it at two points.
07:15You did say that!
07:16Yes!
07:17LAUGHTER
07:18I'm going to give Susie's toilet seat as much as I would like to sit on it.
07:23LAUGHTER
07:24I'm going to give it three points.
07:25Three points.
07:26Oh, right.
07:27I'll give Sam's four points.
07:28And the winner...
07:29She bought it from the jungle.
07:30APPLAUSE
07:31So, five points is your pick.
07:32APPLAUSE
07:33Let's move on.
07:34It's task time.
07:35What's first today?
07:36Well, I'm afraid this one might divide people, but in a really good way.
07:40Hmm.
07:41MUSIC PLAYS
07:43Hello.
07:44Hi, Rose.
07:45He looks like he's in one direction.
07:47LAUGHTER
08:00I feel like the Venus de Milo in this show.
08:03Oh!
08:04Oh, I thought that was actually through the table.
08:08Was that the whole plan?
08:09Clever, isn't it?
08:11Oh, it's half.
08:14Oh.
08:15It's like a poem.
08:17If, in a really exciting way, if split wins, if...
08:23If an hour now.
08:25What do I do?
08:26I'm just going to ask.
08:28LAUGHTER
08:29Well, it's the same system.
08:30You've got to read out the task, do the task.
08:38You didn't hide that very well.
08:40Well, explain the thing, then.
08:42What am I supposed to...?
08:43There's so many compartments here.
08:45Am I supposed to look for this now?
08:46Yeah, it's in this room.
08:51Bro, what kind of...?
08:52This is like a mad escape room.
08:53My womb.
08:54Come on, bro.
08:55Right.
08:56Um...
08:57All right, cool.
08:58So it's not in there.
08:59No.
09:03Why didn't I do that straight away, bro?
09:05Split something in half in a really exciting way.
09:09Most...
09:10It's dating.
09:11Half split win.
09:13You have half of half an hour.
09:16Which is 15 minutes.
09:17Your time starts now.
09:20BUZZER
09:21That didn't work.
09:22Oh, I wish I had.
09:23Have you split things in half before?
09:24Um...
09:27I can't...
09:28No, I don't think so.
09:29You've never split anything in half?
09:30Yeah.
09:31For some reason, I thought that my parents are still together.
09:33They are, they are.
09:34They are, that's a shame.
09:35Yeah.
09:36I know, that would've been a good one.
09:37Well, I could split them...
09:39I mean, sort of, pit them against each other now.
09:43I'll write it down as an option.
09:48Well, Sam, this is a first.
09:49No-one has ever been happy to ruin their parents' relationship.
09:53LAUGHTER
09:54You are sailing towards five points.
09:56LAUGHTER
09:57Who are we going to see first?
09:59OK, well, what do you get if you take half of Jill and half of Sam?
10:03Chism, I suppose.
10:05LAUGHTER
10:09Honest to God.
10:10The amount of times I get bollocked for saying bad things,
10:15and that's on the autocue.
10:20So, here's Chism.
10:24I've gone big.
10:25OK.
10:26I'm going to split myself in two.
10:30Wow.
10:31OK.
10:32OK, I'm ready.
10:33Ready?
10:34Yep.
10:35Oh.
10:55Shit.
10:56Oh.
11:06Wow.
11:07I split myself in half.
11:10Literally.
11:12That's very impressive.
11:13Oh, I think that's a stretch.
11:17It's all dotted, haven't it?
11:19Oh.
11:20Oh.
11:21Oh.
11:22Oh.
11:23Oh.
11:24Oh.
11:25Oh.
11:26Oh.
11:27Oh.
11:28Oh.
11:29Oh.
11:30Oh.
11:31Oh.
11:36Hey, Mum.
11:37Yeah, just quick, cos I'm on Taskmaster.
11:39Er...
11:40I think Dad is having an affair.
11:42LAUGHTER
11:43Yes, I'm faithful.
11:44All right, have you.
11:46APPLAUSE
11:51Well, the first thing that struck me, the production values on both of them were just Siegfried and Roy. It was Las Vegas, wasn't it?
11:57Oh.
11:58Absolutely incredible.
11:59It really was, yeah.
12:00And you were actually speaking to your mum.
12:02Had you pre-warned her?
12:03No.
12:04So I had to call her after.
12:06LAUGHTER
12:07That is spicy.
12:08That's lovely.
12:09I'm a bit confused by yours, Jill, because clearly there was a false leg involved.
12:13Erm...
12:14No, it wasn't real.
12:15But I was creative.
12:16I split myself in two.
12:18When you Google which celebs can do the splits, you get...
12:21Cos there are some unlikely people.
12:22Daniel Radcliffe, Madonna, Ryan Gosling, David Suchet, Miley Cyrus.
12:26But also...
12:27Sam Ryder's name comes up.
12:29LAUGHTER
12:30LAUGHTER
12:31No, I promise it comes up.
12:32Why am I not surprised Daniel Radcliffe's on the list?
12:35I imagine that's how he watches telly.
12:37LAUGHTER
12:38OK, we're halfway through the first half of the show,
12:41during a task about cutting things in half.
12:43And what does that mean?
12:45Ooh!
12:46Greggy go poo-poo and Alex wipe his bop-bots.
12:48Correct!
12:49And I've just eaten three punnets of dates.
12:51Good luck!
12:52Goodbye!
12:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
13:00Hello.
13:01Welcome back to this exceptional New Year's treat.
13:05Yes, the Christmas decorations have been put away
13:07and the shops have already got Easter eggs on their shelves.
13:10It's frigging ridiculous!
13:12LAUGHTER
13:13They're trying to cut things in half in the most exciting way.
13:16Two more attempts now.
13:17It's Big Zoo and Dent Sue.
13:20LAUGHTER
13:21Have you gathered what I'm doing?
13:22No.
13:23Come on.
13:24You're going to split something in half?
13:26I'm going to be using the power of my voice.
13:28Yeah.
13:30You're not going to react more?
13:32Wow!
13:33Hi, bro.
13:35Do you remember that for a while, I don't know if this is still the case,
13:38we're on a one-man mission to introduce a new sense of honk
13:41into the dictionary?
13:43So I've got something for you.
13:48Oh, this is awful to watch.
13:50It is horrible and I'm so sorry.
13:52OK, so your mission to introduce a special word into the dictionary.
13:57And in here...
14:02Honk in noun, meaning money.
14:04I can officially tell you that I am going to put this up for inclusion
14:09in the Oxford English Dictionary.
14:11It may be the nerdiest task response that you've ever had,
14:14but I thought you would enjoy it.
14:17He's definitely split in half.
14:18Definitely split in half.
14:19Yeah.
14:20Oh!
14:21Oh!
14:22Oh!
14:23Oh!
14:24Oh!
14:25Oh!
14:26Oh!
14:27Oh!
14:28Oh!
14:29Oh!
14:30Oh!
14:31Oh!
14:32Oh!
14:33Oh!
14:34Oh!
14:35Yeah!
14:56Oh!
14:57Oh, my God!
14:58Oh!
14:59Oh!
15:00Oh!
15:01Oh!
15:02Oh!
15:03APPLAUSE
15:05Well, first things first, I thought that.
15:07The performance, obviously an illusion.
15:09I don't know how you got that pineapple to split. Captivating.
15:12If I'd have been there, there'd have been tears in my eyes.
15:14Thank you. Superb.
15:16Now...
15:19I know what you're doing, it's very clever.
15:21You were doing a Donald Trump, you were playing to your base.
15:23Yes. The nerd army.
15:25People come to the show for two reasons, for nerdery and for eye candy.
15:28And you were right.
15:30You were right to play to the nerds.
15:32I panicked a little bit.
15:34And I just thought I knew how much this meant to him,
15:36or so I thought.
15:37Yeah, just to explain, a while ago I tried to get a word in the dictionary
15:40and I wrote a book about it.
15:41Yes. The word was honk.
15:42I tried to get the word honk as a slang word for money in the dictionary
15:45and Susie knew about this attempt and this was her...
15:48Oh, well, this all makes sense.
15:50Because whenever he starts talking about his books, I tune out.
15:53You tune out.
15:54Anyway, there's one other big reason why you need to consider me, Greg,
15:58because it's my birthday today.
16:00So, these...
16:01Oh, what?
16:02Is it, Susie?
16:03It's a happy birthday.
16:04It is.
16:05I didn't know.
16:06No-one's ever played the birthday card before.
16:08Because...
16:09I didn't realise how ruthless everyone else could be.
16:12Yeah.
16:13Well, clearly, this person on the end.
16:14Yeah.
16:15What, are you going to win because it's your birthday?
16:17That's not fair.
16:18It's good Susie's talking herself up.
16:21I'll think about it.
16:22Who's next?
16:23Finally, it is hello to Rose Ailing Ellis and goodbye to little Alex Horne.
16:27Hello.
16:28Hi, Rose.
16:29I need you to change your name.
16:31So, you've got to change your name from Alex...
16:33Keep saying that.
16:34...to your new name is Hannah.
16:36It actually costs about £50 to change your name in the UK.
16:39You're paying £50.
16:40No, you're paying £50.
16:42I'm paying £50.
16:43Yeah.
16:44It says,
16:45I unquestionably surrender, abandon and relinquish the use of my former name of Alex Horne,
16:49and affirm, adopt and assume to take and use from this date hereof the name of Hannah,
16:52in the presence of Rose Ailing Ellis.
16:54And then...
16:55That I'm your witness.
16:58Pay up.
17:00Thank you very much.
17:01And here's your present.
17:02I got you a nice new sticker.
17:04I think it's so cool that when you split Hannah in half, it still has the same letter on both sides.
17:13Um...Hannah.
17:14Yeah.
17:15Yeah, isn't that cool about it?
17:16That's really cool, yeah.
17:17And...
17:18But in order to split you, I'm going to have to store you in half.
17:25Sorry?
17:26Yeah, I'm going to have to store you in half.
17:28Get my uniform off.
17:30So, if you put your arm up...
17:33Put my arm up?
17:34Yeah.
17:35I suppose so, yeah.
17:36Oh, you're actually doing it?
17:37Right.
17:44You're doing great, sweetheart.
17:45Ooh!
17:47Are we done?
17:48Yeah, I think I'm done.
17:49Right, then.
17:50Can I go?
17:51Yeah, yeah.
17:52Basically, you're splitting her, then.
17:55Oh!
17:57Your legs are going.
17:58Oh, no.
17:59Legs!
18:00No!
18:01No!
18:02No!
18:03No!
18:04No, come back!
18:05Your legs are going.
18:06How do you do that?
18:07That's not my plan.
18:08That was not my plan.
18:09That was not my plan.
18:13No!
18:20It's good.
18:21I'll tell you why it's good.
18:22It's got both elements, hasn't it?
18:24It's got a bit of showbiz splitting and it's got some nerdy splitting of the name as well.
18:29With the whole nothing, I was bored senseless.
18:31LAUGHTER
18:32If we go to the bottom, I don't know, even though I like the idea of getting words into the dictionary,
18:38I don't know how exciting it was watching you cut that ducky.
18:43LAUGHTER
18:44LAUGHTER
18:45Were it not her birthday, that would be getting one point.
18:49LAUGHTER
18:50Wow.
18:51Let's come back to it.
18:52LAUGHTER
18:54The least exciting performance was Jill's.
18:57Oh!
18:58It was a great idea, but I just thought in performative terms, you've only got to look at the person who's up one from you, Zoo.
19:06Incredible performance.
19:07He split a pineapple, but I'm putting Sam above him because Sam split something boring and then he tried to destroy his parents' marriage.
19:15LAUGHTER
19:16Which makes it more exciting.
19:17And I'm going to give Rose five points.
19:19But it's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:20But it's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:21But it's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:22LAUGHTER
19:23Oh!
19:24Is it going to play car?
19:25We're playing cards.
19:26Yeah.
19:27I'm deaf.
19:28LAUGHTER
19:29What I love about this is I've already put Rose in first place.
19:34LAUGHTER
19:35But she's still playing the deck.
19:36LAUGHTER
19:37No!
19:38LAUGHTER
19:39Does Susie's birthday make her duck more exciting than Jill's splits?
19:45I've always wondered...
19:46The answer is yes.
19:47It does.
19:48So, Jill moves to last place.
19:50Oh!
19:51Because it's Susie Dent's birthday.
19:53Happy birthday.
19:54Just to summarise, because it's Susie Dent's birthday, Jill is being punished and losing a point.
19:58LAUGHTER
19:59And Susie Dent is getting an extra point.
20:01Yep!
20:02Rose wins five points.
20:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:07OK.
20:08Shall we see a scoreboard, Alex, please?
20:10Yes.
20:11Well, first of all, I'll tell you how this episode is going.
20:13People like me at home will love the fact that it's four, five, six, seven, eight,
20:16with Sam on the top.
20:17He's got eight points.
20:18Well done, Sam.
20:19Yeah.
20:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:21I can tell you how the total of these two episodes is going.
20:24Please don't let Jill be one point off winning.
20:26LAUGHTER
20:28You've got bad news, I'm afraid, Greg.
20:31LAUGHTER
20:32That's a good season.
20:33Rose has 22 points, and one point behind...
20:36LAUGHTER
20:38..is...
20:39Jill is on...
20:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:41Jill's on 21, and Sam's on 21 as well.
20:44OK.
20:45I'm going to make this right, Jill.
20:46OK.
20:47On we stride.
20:48What's next, Alex?
20:49Well, the first task was all about halves, and the next one is all about doubles.
20:54But we didn't realise that till just now, and that's because a lot of this show
20:56is good luck rather than good planning.
20:58LAUGHTER
20:59Oh, we're back in the lab.
21:12Hi, Jill.
21:14Hi, Jill.
21:15All right.
21:16Oh.
21:17Ah.
21:18Pallets of paint, balls, paintbrushes.
21:20May I?
21:21Mm-hm.
21:22I thought they were being stress balls.
21:23Hold...
21:24..a number of yellow balls in your hand.
21:26You have one minute.
21:27Your time starts now.
21:28So, hold a number of yellow balls in your hand.
21:32Hold as many as you can in your hand.
21:35How about that?
21:36That's interesting.
21:37I'm going to go with eight.
21:38OK.
21:39I'm going to go four.
21:40Four.
21:41Eight, seven, eight, nine.
21:43Eight, seven, eight, nine.
21:44Eight, nine, eight, eight.
21:46I'm going to go with eight.
21:47I'm going to go with eight.
21:48OK.
21:49I'm going to go four.
21:50Four?
21:51Seven, eight, nine.
21:52Eighteen.
21:53You've gone 18?
21:54Yeah.
21:58Can you help me, please?
21:59What, do you want me to...?
22:00Can you stop dropping balls, please?
22:06OK.
22:07Twelve balls.
22:08There is part two.
22:09OK.
22:12Do you want me to open it for you?
22:13Yeah.
22:14Paint two identical and flattering self-portraits.
22:18You have as many minutes as there are yellow balls in your hands,
22:22or until you drop a yellow ball.
22:25Or until you drop a yellow ball.
22:27We haven't started yet.
22:29I don't know.
22:30I got it.
22:31Also, you must paint on one canvas for no more than five seconds
22:35before painting on the other.
22:37OK, so it's a little switcheroo.
22:38Best pair of identical flattering self-portrait wins.
22:41Your time starts now.
22:43Thank you very much.
22:44Why did I decide this?
22:46APPLAUSE
22:48This is not my episode.
22:53We've only known them for a short time, but they've come in
22:55and they've all got different approaches to seeing the task
22:58and assessing it.
22:59Sam comes in and he generally lists everything he can see.
23:02Big Sue walks in and laughs like a super-villain.
23:04And Susie, not to make you self-conscious,
23:07always responds in the same way.
23:09Whenever she sees every task,
23:11like she's just heard the pilot say,
23:13I'm afraid we've lost the second engine.
23:15LAUGHTER
23:17Are you ready for a montage of them all, Greg?
23:19My God, yes.
23:20Let's see them all, arting in the lab.
23:24Happy within nine minutes?
23:25Uh-huh.
23:29Three, four, five...
23:31So the balls aren't hampering you too much?
23:33No.
23:34Good choice.
23:35You look like you know what you're doing.
23:37I went to art college.
23:39Oh, wow.
23:46Over you go.
23:48I mean, this is just going to be as basic as you get.
23:51Oh.
23:54I may have dropped a ball.
23:55Do I carry on?
23:56No, you dropped the ball.
23:57That's the end of the task.
23:58LAUGHTER
23:59OK, well, that was plain and simple.
24:00Stop!
24:04No, no, no.
24:09Three minutes.
24:11Shouldn't have done that.
24:12Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
24:13Look, she's got nice, strong arms.
24:15They're my arms, by the way,
24:17before you make any jokes.
24:19I'm not being funny.
24:20I've seen some of the bullshit in the museums,
24:22and this is up there, I reckon.
24:23Any art music?
24:24Yeah.
24:25I'm going to give myself a little tan.
24:27Let's see if I can colour in all the places.
24:31It's going well.
24:32WHISTLE BLOWS
24:33WHISTLE BLOWS
24:34WHISTLE BLOWS
24:35WHISTLE BLOWS
24:37I'm not too dissatisfied with that.
24:39You have got 11 minutes left,
24:40but you don't have to use it all.
24:41BUZZLE BLOWS
24:42After the top of the drop.
24:43APPLAUSE
24:44Oh, dear, Cece.
24:48Why did I think that I had to hold balls in each hand?
24:52I don't know.
24:53It's a question I've asked myself for a thousand times.
24:56LAUGHTER
24:57You're actually going to wait until after the break
24:59to pass judgment.
25:00However, I want to show you one thing that happened,
25:02which we didn't include in the montage
25:04because it was so serious.
25:05Have a look at this.
25:06Why did I decide this?
25:12I've stopped the clock.
25:14LAUGHTER
25:15Yeah, so, this is what Big Zoo did
25:19before dropping the yellow ball.
25:22LAUGHTER
25:24I wish it was my birthday.
25:27LAUGHTER
25:29Oh, well.
25:30It's time to stop for some more adverts now.
25:32The January sales are on.
25:33Alex, have you got your eye on anything?
25:35Yeah, well, I thought I might have a look for...
25:37Get your teeth fixed!
25:39LAUGHTER
25:40Oh!
25:41See you off the break.
25:42APPLAUSE
25:49Hello.
25:50Welcome back to the third part of the New Year's treat final.
25:55Alex, I would love to see their self-portrait paintings, please.
25:58Yes, I think it's time.
25:59And remember, the best pair of identical,
26:02flattering portraits that wins.
26:05First, here is Rose's poses.
26:09Have a look at this.
26:11Oh!
26:12They're good.
26:13Imagine if she hadn't dropped a ball.
26:15It was horrible to walk away knowing I could do it better!
26:18Sorry, I was almost certain you were going to play the deaf card again.
26:21No?
26:22LAUGHTER
26:23I'm deaf.
26:25LAUGHTER
26:26Oh, God!
26:27She doesn't have any eyes as well.
26:29And look, she has...
26:30LAUGHTER
26:31Oh, God!
26:32And no, no!
26:33And I can't smell!
26:34No sense of smell!
26:35LAUGHTER
26:36OK, let's have a look at another ball dropper.
26:41It's Susie's Muses.
26:43Right.
26:44LAUGHTER
26:49I hate it!
26:50Mine is chiseled.
26:51Mine's got a humble chin.
26:52It's so flattering.
26:53But they're not, you know, they're not too dissimilar.
26:55No.
26:56To be fair, Susie was going through problems in here.
27:00I want to see another one, please.
27:02Right, well, here are Jill Scott's blots.
27:05LAUGHTER
27:08APPLAUSE
27:10It is good!
27:12And they are pretty identical.
27:14Yeah.
27:15And look how rich he is.
27:17Yeah.
27:18And how runny one of their noses is.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:22I do have hair fever.
27:24LAUGHTER
27:25We're going to have a look at Sam's Mano Amano now.
27:28Identical.
27:29Oh, that's good.
27:30That's good as well.
27:31Really good.
27:32I look like a baked bean in the middle.
27:35LAUGHTER
27:37I'm laughing at how we're seeing these are good.
27:40They're actually really shit.
27:42LAUGHTER
27:43I don't know.
27:44Yeah, maybe it's my low expectations, Jill.
27:47LAUGHTER
27:48Well, we have already seen Zoo's attempt,
27:50but would you like to see what he did after?
27:52Yeah, but I have to say he dropped the ball
27:54so we're taking the blank canvases.
27:56Unfortunately, we have to because of the rules.
27:57But what if this one is really, really good, Craig?
28:00OK.
28:01Give me a chance.
28:02LAUGHTER
28:05Why is you...
28:07I'm mixed race.
28:08I'm mixed race.
28:09I'm mixed race.
28:10I'm mixed race.
28:11You didn't have...
28:12You can't just keep saying I'm mixed race.
28:14I'm mixed race.
28:15Just like this.
28:16Yeah.
28:17Why did you paint your nose green?
28:19I would argue that, regardless of dropping the ball,
28:22Zoo's is the worst anyway.
28:24LAUGHTER
28:26I can't argue with that.
28:28OK, well, here are all ten portraits.
28:30Unfortunately, Big Sue has to come last for more than one reason.
28:35LAUGHTER
28:36Next worst is obviously...
28:38LAUGHTER
28:39..CZ, two points.
28:40On her birthday.
28:41Right.
28:42Two for Sue.
28:43I'm going to give Sam three points.
28:44Yeah.
28:45I'm giving Jill four points.
28:46And you know why?
28:47I think they're about the same level.
28:49Yeah.
28:50But I just really like muscles, so I'm giving you an...
28:52LAUGHTER
28:53I'm giving you an extra point.
28:55LAUGHTER
28:56Well, I think the best piece of art and the most flattering,
28:59I genuinely think it's roses.
29:01LAUGHTER
29:02APPLAUSE
29:06All right.
29:07I'm afraid it's already time for the last of their pre-recorded tasks.
29:10Will you be sad to see them go, Alex?
29:12I'm going to say no.
29:14What?
29:15Because we're playing the opposites game.
29:16Oh!
29:17Ooh!
29:18What?
29:19MUSIC PLAYS
29:31All right.
29:32Meat and grape.
29:33I hope not mine.
29:34What on earth is going on here?
29:37It's a scroll.
29:38Mmm.
29:39Oh, I thought it was a rolling pin.
29:40OK.
29:41Ah, OK.
29:42It's like national treasure, where you have to...
29:45National trust?
29:47LAUGHTER
29:49I just spat grape all...
29:51LAUGHTER
29:52That's an actual insane amount of grape.
29:55Complete the most instructions in the order they are presented.
30:00You have five minutes.
30:02Your time starts when you open the instructions scroll.
30:07Yeah, we've started.
30:08We've started?
30:09All about speed.
30:10Yeah, your time's starting now.
30:11Oh, no!
30:12APPLAUSE
30:13I think this is one of those tracks that you just need to crack on and have a look at it.
30:18OK.
30:19Let's see how Rose, Sam and Susie got on first.
30:22Shut your eyes and open your mouth.
30:23One.
30:24Talking of idols for five seconds and keep going like this.
30:28Oh, no!
30:29My name is Ro!
30:30Oh!
30:31Wish for the alphabet backwards.
30:32Z.
30:33Y.
30:38X.
30:39Put a cold thing on the big plate.
30:42That's cold.
30:43Hey, Shlolly.
30:44Yeah, lovely.
30:45My hand is actually really cold.
30:46I mean, the grape I ate was pretty cold.
30:48It was chilled.
30:49So that was all part of the plan.
30:50Tell a lie about your childhood.
30:52I was the most popular person in the entire school.
30:55I was never bullied.
30:56I was living in Jamaica.
30:57Turn the wetsuit inside out.
30:58Where's that?
30:59That is inside out.
31:00Spin twice anti-clockwise.
31:01Throw a sock at Alex.
31:02Oh, right in the face.
31:03Knock down the tower.
31:04Ah, fucking hate jigsaws.
31:05Done.
31:06It's not a big jigsaw.
31:07It's not a big jigsaw.
31:08It's not a big jigsaw, but it's quite a confusing jigsaw.
31:16Who does these to fun?
31:17I can move on to the next one.
31:19Well, you might have to.
31:20Oh, OK, fine.
31:22Done.
31:24It's not a big jigsaw.
31:26It's not a big jigsaw, but it's quite a confusing jigsaw.
31:30Who does these for fun?
31:32I can move on to the next one.
31:33Well, you might have to.
31:34Oh, OK, fine.
31:35Put a ball in a bottle.
31:42Done.
31:43OK, 45 seconds.
31:45It's in.
31:46You need the balloon now, don't you?
31:47Inflate the balloon.
31:49Shake your head.
31:50But I'm Alec.
31:52Clean the bowl.
31:53Oh, bloody hell, I'm not licking that.
31:55I'm doing it.
31:58No, it's clean.
32:00Send a text a bit on my phone with me.
32:02Mum, Dad's not cheating on you.
32:04Love you.
32:06Try not.
32:08And not.
32:10Have you ever...
32:12Bastard.
32:14Um...
32:15Look up.
32:16Duck.
32:17Duck.
32:18Duck.
32:20OK.
32:21Sip.
32:24Take this away.
32:26Yeah.
32:27Would you mind reading that one as well?
32:29OK.
32:30Part two.
32:32Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order.
32:36You have five minutes.
32:37Most instructions complete.
32:38Backward.
32:39Win.
32:40You have five minutes.
32:41All of them.
32:42How do I know what I've done?
32:43Well, you've got to remember them.
32:44Really?
32:45Probably.
32:47APPLAUSE
32:50That was so annoying.
32:52I just love it when people could miss.
32:54I've written it down.
32:55Sam says,
32:56I fucking hate jigsaws.
32:58That's what I was thinking.
32:59Then you're kryptonite.
33:01I could not get your eye to fit on your cheek.
33:05So the whole point of this task is the second half.
33:07Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order.
33:09The first half was not relevant, really.
33:11This is what's important.
33:12It's time for part two.
33:15Stand up.
33:16Stand.
33:17How do you do the opposite of ducking?
33:21Jump.
33:22Um...
33:23Look up.
33:24Look down.
33:25Tied it not in here.
33:26Delete for everyone.
33:29With a dirty bowl?
33:32Ha, ha, ha!
33:33I didn't clean it!
33:35Oh, I've really...
33:41I haven't got time for this,
33:43but I've done the dice.
33:44That's a swear cube.
33:46Opposite of a circle.
33:48I'll take it.
33:51Fucking sick.
33:52Blow the balloon up.
33:53Well, that wasn't the order, was it?
33:56Do the jitcho.
33:58It's quite easy to do the opposite of these
34:00because I didn't do those in the first place.
34:02And then build the tower.
34:04Oh, I remembered.
34:08Is it part of here, is it just me?
34:09My stock, can I have my stock back there?
34:11You want me to throw your stock at you?
34:12No, I get it from you.
34:16Was it then building the tower up?
34:18Sure.
34:19And then I'll tell you the truth about my childhood.
34:24I was bullying in school.
34:26I grew up in a tent.
34:29Hot hand, not touching the plate.
34:31Well, your hand's hotter than now.
34:32Yeah, really hot, because it is hotter now, as I just said.
34:35OK.
34:36Next was A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, and B.
34:39Yet.
34:40Two more.
34:41Speak in a low voice.
34:42How do you do the opposite?
34:43Speak in a low voice for five, four, three, two, one.
34:46Ten seconds.
34:47Hello, my name is Barry.
34:51No.
34:52Have it anyway.
34:54And then the one, don't blink my eye.
34:59Cough.
35:00Whistle.
35:02You did it.
35:03You shut your mouth.
35:04Oh, did I?
35:05How do you think you did?
35:06Really badly.
35:07Really badly.
35:08Really badly.
35:09Yeah.
35:10Got to keep your wits about you on this game, ain't ya?
35:11You always do, yeah.
35:12Yeah.
35:17I mean, really, my big observation is I can't believe how well they did.
35:20I mean, Susie didn't do well, she was right.
35:22Yeah.
35:23I didn't.
35:24But you did do nine out of the 20, which is not terrible.
35:27It is the angriest we've seen Susie so far.
35:29I even wrote it down, she went,
35:31Yes, because it's hot in here, as I just said.
35:34LAUGHTER
35:36Sam did 13 of the things, in the right order, opposite way round,
35:40and rose 15, which was far more than we expected.
35:43Wow.
35:45As long as you're accepting that putting a cube in a bottle
35:48is the opposite of putting a ball in a bottle.
35:50The only reason I'm allowing it is because I so enjoyed this.
35:53Ha-ha-ha!
35:54I didn't claim it!
35:55LAUGHTER
35:56I was so happy!
35:58Just one part left of our New Year's treat.
36:02Someone will win Susie Dent's golden toilet seat
36:05and someone will win my golden eyebrows.
36:08It all ties together for Christmas.
36:10I gave Alex a golden shower.
36:13LAUGHTER
36:14Little stingy.
36:15It was stingy.
36:16I don't drink enough water.
36:18See you soon for the grand finale!
36:20APPLAUSE
36:30Hello!
36:31Welcome back to the final part of the show,
36:33where our New Year treat is coming to an end,
36:36just as the New Year is beginning.
36:38I know, and it's going to be a big year for me.
36:40I'm going to do 20 press-ups every other day,
36:42I'm going to phone my parents on the days in between the press-up days,
36:45and maybe I'll join some sort of hobby club.
36:47And finally, in the opposite part,
36:50it's Scott, Jill and Zoo Big.
36:55Hello, my name is Jill!
36:57My name is Betsy!
37:00It's so cold.
37:01What's cold?
37:02That's cold.
37:03OK.
37:04I was really good at swimming.
37:05What?
37:06Why did I put my hand in the sticky stuff?
37:10Why is it so difficult?
37:11Two minutes left.
37:12You just play your games.
37:13This is what you do.
37:14Right, it's just going to Lloyd's Bank.
37:18Hey!
37:19You texted the bank?
37:20Why did you text the bank?
37:21I don't know!
37:22Right, I've tied a knot.
37:23Look up!
37:24Duck!
37:25Sit!
37:28Five seconds left, Zoo!
37:29I'm coming!
37:30Good.
37:31You got me living like a housewife.
37:33You're abusive, man!
37:36Look, I even dried it.
37:38That's your time up.
37:39No!
37:40Are you ready for part two?
37:41Part two?
37:42Yes, please.
37:43Second scroll for you, sir.
37:44I didn't even tell me about a double scroll.
37:47Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order.
37:50Is it here?
37:51Oh!
37:53I was going to say, like...
37:55Oh, what is that?
37:57You've got to keep your wits about you on this game, ain't you?
37:59You always do, yeah.
38:00Yeah.
38:03Up.
38:04Sit down.
38:05Look down.
38:06Do the opposite.
38:07Right.
38:08Sit.
38:09Duck.
38:10Look up.
38:11Try enough.
38:12Do the opposite.
38:13Do the opposite.
38:14Do the opposite.
38:15Send a text.
38:16Don't send a text.
38:17Receive a text.
38:18Can you text me?
38:19Sure.
38:20Send a text.
38:21Go into the bank again.
38:22Make this dirty again.
38:23It's already clean!
38:25Why am I cleaning it twice?
38:26That's a good question, dear.
38:27Yeah.
38:28Three and a half minutes, Jill.
38:29Oh, good.
38:30Isn't it mad how your brain works?
38:32Hmm.
38:35Erm, complete the jigsaw.
38:38Complete the jigsaw?
38:39It's already complete.
38:41That's weird.
38:43That's a tower, is it?
38:44That's a tower!
38:45OK, OK.
38:46Come on, Jill.
38:49Tell a lie about your childhood.
38:51I learnt to ride a bike at six.
38:53Tell the truth, erm...
38:55Oh, I really enjoy instant noodles.
38:59Yo, my name is Big Sue, and I am your father.
39:03Or your uncle.
39:04Depends.
39:05Shut your eyes and open your mouth.
39:09And we're done.
39:10Show your eyes, open your mouth.
39:14Oh, I think I've got an emergency call from the bank.
39:18Can I just take this?
39:19Yeah, yeah.
39:20I think they think I'm in trouble.
39:21OK.
39:23Can I let them in the bank?
39:24Can I bring them in?
39:25Yeah.
39:26I mean, he says something, Jill.
39:27When I watch something as catastrophic as that,
39:29and the only thing I've written down is,
39:31who the hell texts their bank?
39:35I don't feel so bad about the whole birthday point, though.
39:39Oh, no, I need that back now.
39:40Please.
39:41No, you've got it back for that shit-painter.
39:45Zoo absolutely knocked it out of the park, didn't he?
39:48So, he did all but one on the second time round.
39:49Wow, man.
39:50So, he's done it.
39:51Oh, no!
39:52Oh, no!
39:53Oh, no!
39:54No!
39:55I'm waiting!
39:56Jill gets one point.
39:57Two to two.
39:58Three for Sam.
39:59Four for Rose.
40:00But finally, Big Zoo gets five points!
40:01Yay!
40:04I'm waiting!
40:05You know how much it means to me!
40:08All right, everyone.
40:09Just one more thing to do.
40:10So, please, make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
40:20Hello, you lovely boy.
40:21Oh, hello, you lovely man.
40:23Who will be reading the task?
40:25Well, there's a lot of words,
40:26so there's only one person who knows words,
40:28and that's Susie Dent to read out all these words.
40:30OK.
40:31Take it away, Susie Dent.
40:33Win the shoe games.
40:35Wow.
40:36She just knows every word.
40:37Win the shoe, Dan.
40:39There's going to be four shoe games.
40:40We're going to lose a player each time.
40:42Round one.
40:43Hold a size 11 left shoe above your head.
40:47You may only pick out one shoe at a time,
40:50and you must replace the shoe before picking another.
40:53Last player is eliminated.
40:56Let's play shoe games.
40:58And off they go.
40:59APPLAUSE
41:00You must replace it.
41:01Please put the shoe back in, Jill.
41:02Put the shoe back in, Jill.
41:04You've got to put the shoe back in.
41:05What?
41:06Oh.
41:07Oh, my word.
41:08Jill is really struggling with the sack.
41:09I'm sorry.
41:10I'm sorry.
41:11Oh.
41:12Oh.
41:13Oh, my word.
41:14Jill is really struggling with the sack.
41:15I'm sorry.
41:16I'm sorry.
41:17It's the sack.
41:22Oh, my word.
41:23Oh.
41:24We've lost Rosalie Gillis.
41:25Oh.
41:28Shoot.
41:29Are you ready for the second one?
41:30Yes.
41:31Remove the shoe lace from your shoe and hold it above your head.
41:33The player is eliminated.
41:34Oh!
41:35Oh, I'm glad I'm out of this.
41:37More haste, less speed, surely.
41:39Oh, Zoo, if you lose this...
41:42Oh, Zoo.
41:44We have Jill.
41:46We have...
41:52Oh, this is the worst shoe ever.
41:55I lost this.
41:57We lost the shoe games.
41:59We've lost Sam Raider.
42:01Are you ready for more high-octane...?
42:03I cannot put into words how ready I am.
42:05It's shoe games round three.
42:08Let's dance.
42:09For this one, you must stay on the spot at all times.
42:11Please don't do anything till I blow the whistle.
42:13Throw a sock onto your shoe.
42:17No part of the sock can be touching the ground.
42:20It could be in it,
42:21but if any part of the sock is touching the ground, it won't count.
42:24It'll be the final after this.
42:25Last player is eliminated.
42:27Sock and a shoe.
42:29Oh, my word.
42:30Oh!
42:31Oh.
42:32Just touching the floor.
42:33Bamba clap.
42:36Oh, come on.
42:37I can't say bamba clap.
42:38They're on your spot.
42:39They don't know where...
42:40Oh!
42:41No, no, no.
42:42You lot are cheating.
42:43That is good.
42:44You lot are cheating.
42:45You lot are cheating.
42:46Jill's safe.
42:47Jill's safe.
42:48You lot are cheating.
42:49Oh!
42:51No!
42:52Come on, please.
42:53Come on.
42:54One, two!
42:55One, two!
42:56One, two!
42:57One, three!
42:58Yeah!
42:59Well done.
43:00Keep going.
43:01No.
43:02That's a lot of socks.
43:03Oh, God.
43:04The game hasn't sustained excitement.
43:07Roll, roll, run out of socks.
43:09It's not touching the floor, it's touching shoe and another sock.
43:16We've lost Susie Dent!
43:18We've lost Susie Dent.
43:19We've finally made it.
43:20It's the final of shoe games.
43:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:23We've finally made it.
43:24It's the final of shoe games.
43:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:32So, this time, flick your shoe into the bucket.
43:36And by flick, we mean the shoe has to be on your foot.
43:39You must flick it.
43:40Well, that's not a fish!
43:41No!
43:42What are you doing?
43:43Never!
43:44No, wait there.
43:45Playing football, I put a size 11 shoe on my foot and flick it in.
43:48Oh, come on, balls!
43:49Same thing!
43:50This one's more like golf.
43:51You will flick, and then you will flick.
43:54First to flick, it's Big Zoo.
43:55Good luck, whatever.
43:56I'm thinking the wind's going a bit that way.
43:59LAUGHTER
44:00And line it there.
44:01Nah, come on, I'm left-footed, Bob.
44:03Up, up!
44:04Oh!
44:05Fuck!
44:06Fuck!
44:11Oh!
44:12Big Zoo, you may approach your shoe.
44:15You must flick it from that position.
44:18I mean, you can pick it up and put it on your foot,
44:20but you do have to flick it from there.
44:22No closer to the back.
44:23So, I can put it on my foot, yeah?
44:24Yeah.
44:25Where it fell.
44:26It was there.
44:27Yes.
44:28Oh, you just took a step all the way.
44:30Back an inch, please.
44:31WHISTLE BLOWS
44:32Yeah.
44:33Oh!
44:34Right.
44:35LAUGHTER
44:36Back to your spot.
44:37On the spot, please.
44:38OK.
44:39Just a flick.
44:40Just a flick.
44:41Just a flick.
44:42Just a flick.
44:43Just a flick.
44:44Just a flick.
44:45Just a flick.
44:46Just a flick.
44:47Just a flick.
44:48Just a flick.
44:49Just a flick.
44:50Just a flick.
44:51This is a lift-off.
44:52That was it.
44:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:57Right.
44:58We will add those to your final scores.
45:00Come down and join me!
45:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:03Wow, Jill, that was amazing.
45:08And it means you have, excitingly, joined Sam on 16 points.
45:13WHISTLE BLOWS
45:14Which means...
45:15Yeah.
45:16It's exciting.
45:17It means they've come joint second.
45:19LAUGHTER
45:21One behind today's winner, with 17 points, it is...
45:24Rose Aileen-Elley!
45:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:27Rose wins the episode.
45:29Please head up to eye your exotic prizes!
45:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:35I love her!
45:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:39Let's find out who has won the first ever double treat.
45:46OK, then, Greg.
45:47Well, in fifth place, she has done very well, despite what she thinks
45:51and despite what the position says.
45:53LAUGHTER
45:54With 25 points, it's Susie Den!
45:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:57Happy birthday, last place.
45:58But she's only one point behind someone who thought he was going to win throughout.
46:07It's Big Zoo!
46:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:10In first place, he's got the energy of a big dog.
46:14It's Sam Ryder with 29 points!
46:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:18There's only one point in it.
46:21There's 31 points.
46:23LAUGHTER
46:24LAUGHTER
46:25I put that right.
46:27One of our nation's greatest sports people is Jill Stocks!
46:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:32So the winner got a total of 32 points across two episodes, Greg.
46:37The winner of the first ever double New Year's treat.
46:42It's Rome!
46:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:48Congratulations.
46:50Congratulations.
46:51APPLAUSE
46:52I'm going to go home
46:53to time for six minh&s.
46:54I'm going in..
46:57map member standing at a single number one!
46:59made ofpleasure,
47:00but a dollar not $50 billion and a dollar not $80 billion.
47:01And a contract that might have a $20 million.
47:02pots got a little as $50 million.
47:04Not $50 wah $50 million.
47:05You got a P.E.G doing Bitcoin,
47:08$hero, $60 million, $20 million,哇、 $30 yeah a dollar for $ much $50 million.
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