The Long Firm - Season 1 Episode 01- Teddy's Story
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01:00And I feel it.
01:02Ceremonial introduction is so solemn and ridiculous.
01:06A younger me would have run screaming into the night at the thought of it.
01:10But it's so very calm and soothing.
01:14I find myself lulled into going along with almost anything these days.
01:18I try to move with a dignified processional rhythm, but it's hard not to swagger a bit.
01:27It makes the masons look like the boy scouts.
01:29I have other rituals.
01:34Hitchcock, huh?
01:35Mutual masturbation, I believe, is the current parlance.
01:39But there's an archaic word which describes it far better.
01:44Slick-legging.
01:44Frightfully dangerous, of course.
01:50But the best thing, not now.
01:56Tom Drybirds introducing me to Harry Starks.
02:01The name means nothing.
02:02Here we are.
02:03Sounds Jewish.
02:06Still, Tom's contact always holds some strange promise.
02:11We're living in a golden age.
02:17The consumer age, they call it.
02:21For the first time ever, ordinary common people are not only encouraged to have money,
02:28they're expected to have it.
02:30Money to consume with.
02:33Money to buy happiness.
02:36Money to change the world.
02:41Where's this money coming from?
02:46How do we get it?
02:49We have to take it.
02:52And the best way to take it, in my experience, is to give.
02:57You give people what they want, and they'll give you what you want.
03:01You give people what they wish for, they'll give you their soul.
03:07Yeah?
03:08To wish it.
03:11Excuse me, James.
03:16I'll be right back.
03:19Hello, there.
03:20Good evening.
03:21Teddy, this is Harry.
03:23Harry Starks, Lord Thursby.
03:24Oh, please.
03:27I'm honoured you, Lordship.
03:28Oh, no, please.
03:29Call me Teddy.
03:30Every sort of same for you.
03:31I think I prefer your Lordship.
03:33Harry's a very successful local businessman, aren't you, Harry?
03:37That's a lot of charity work, on the East End.
03:39Yeah, boys' clubs, that sort of thing.
03:41Boys' clubs?
03:43The very thing.
03:45Maybe you're even more active in that department than media, Lordship.
03:50Cray.
03:50This is former Conservative MP, Lord Edward Thursby.
03:59Yeah.
04:00All right.
04:01He's a very important man.
04:03Not responsibility, not stress.
04:06He's lonely at the top.
04:07Ain't that right, you Lordship?
04:08No, please.
04:08Don't fucks.
04:09Perhaps you could ease his loneliness later, Craig.
04:14If you know what I mean.
04:15Not hard.
04:17I'd do no such thing.
04:18You're a guest in my heart.
04:20I won't hear another word.
04:22Craig, start the film.
04:24Get his Lordship a proper drink.
04:26And anything else he wants.
04:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:39Here we go.
05:04Are you a part of the entourage?
05:06Or maybe the entertainment, if that isn't frankly rude.
05:14I'll just come for the party.
05:15I see.
05:17Harry likes his pies.
05:18Ah.
05:20And are they always like this?
05:25Is this your first time?
05:29Yes, in a manner of speaking.
05:30I never felt like a proper homo until I met Harry.
05:39I know what you mean.
05:40Where are you taking me?
05:53Come on.
05:54You're a nice-looking kid.
06:09Thanks.
06:10So are you.
06:12I mean...
06:12No, no, no, no, no.
06:13There's a lot of things I have.
06:15I'm pretty, I'm not.
06:17I don't know.
06:18My auntie may, since I've bought the ring.
06:32Hey.
06:33All right, girls?
06:34Piss off.
06:35I like Harry immensely.
06:43He isn't afraid of homosexuality.
06:46He isn't afraid of anything.
06:50The rest of my life consists of tolerating my arsehole of a wife
06:54and living in relative luxury at our very own private lodge,
06:59Hartwell Juxta Mare.
07:00I realise the effect a separation would have on you professionally.
07:05So, I'm prepared to continue with this charade under certain conditions.
07:10The lodge is really looking awfully shabby.
07:13What happened to that builder of yours?
07:16£250 a month to be paid into my account at the Chase National.
07:20Plus a separate financial provision to deal with your IRA creditors.
07:24This is a nice young man.
07:26You really breathed life into the old Belvedere.
07:28Plus £2,000 and a lump sum to pay for renovations.
07:32Oh, you know I haven't got that kind of money.
07:34You haven't got any kind of money.
07:36No, because you've got it all.
07:40You never cared for me, did you?
07:43Oh.
07:45I get so lonely out here.
07:48Then why don't you divorce me?
07:51After all I put up with.
07:54Oh, you won't get rid of me.
07:56I'm Lady fucking Thursby now.
08:00Then you should start behaving like her.
08:05I don't know what you expect me to do with my life now that you've become a homosexual.
08:10Why don't you become a lesbian?
08:12I think you make a rather good lesbian.
08:14Harry's invited me to his club, a younger crowd that I'm used to, rather underdressed, but no doubt achingly trendy.
08:33Still, it makes a change from the Hartwell Conservatives with their dreary businessmen and constituency party Tories.
08:40Oh, he's a dog.
08:41I told him the other way.
08:44Now the word the city's dead.
08:47I'm just going to step out of your own.
08:49What am I asking for?
08:52Oh.
08:54Your lordship, glad you could make it.
08:56Well, I'm delighted to be here.
08:57Have you met Manny, my accountant?
09:00Hello.
09:01What are you, your lordship?
09:03That's Jock.
09:04Hello.
09:04Hi.
09:05Hi.
09:05Do you like a glass of champagne?
09:07I would love a glass of champagne.
09:13Oh, this is wonderful.
09:15Well, this is what you might call a jewel in the crown.
09:18I call it a stardust.
09:20You've probably heard of it.
09:20And it rings a big bell, yes.
09:27Look at these kids.
09:29Look at the suits.
09:31When I was there, I was wearing my dad's old venex.
09:35In fact, when I was there, I was still on rations.
09:37Oh, well, you've done very well.
09:39Oh, I haven't even started yet.
09:42You see, people think the world revolves around sex.
09:46Hmm?
09:48Sex and glamour.
09:49You and I, now, it's about much more than that.
09:54Much more.
09:57Yeah, well, I haven't.
09:59By way of reciprocation, I've invited Harry to Bites,
10:12one of the oldest and most prestigious clubs in London.
10:15It retains a touch of aristocratic reefishness,
10:19which I instinctively know he will be drawn to.
10:23Harry, so glad you could make it.
10:30I wouldn't miss this for the world.
10:32Follow me.
10:33Drink?
10:34Why not?
10:36Nice place.
10:38Would my join in myself one day?
10:40It's not cheap.
10:42At least of my worries.
10:43Oh, glad to hear it.
10:46Do you want?
10:46Lovely.
10:47All right.
11:02There you are.
11:08Welcome.
11:15Teddy, I'm, uh, starting up a new company.
11:19Oh.
11:21And I was thinking that you'd make a rather good director.
11:24Oh, well, I'm a bit tied up at the moment, Harry.
11:27I doubt if I'd be in much use.
11:30Oh, you won't have to do anything.
11:31I mean, I'm not talking about, uh, an executive position.
11:35Oh, I see.
11:37Now, you're a pillar of the community.
11:40You've made sacrifices.
11:41You've contributed.
11:43God bless you.
11:45Now is your chance to reap a little of what you've sown over the years.
11:50It won't be any trouble.
11:52Just turn up to the odd, uh, board meeting,
11:56the, uh, annual general meeting.
11:59Stuff like that.
12:01Like, um,
12:02like, uh, a mascot.
12:06Uh, well,
12:07it, it really rather depends on, uh,
12:12what's in it for me, Harry.
12:14What's in it for you?
12:17Yeah.
12:24Your contract, Lord Thursby.
12:31Harry's desire for legitimacy definitely has its possibilities for me.
12:43And the name Lord Thursby is bound to look good on his letterheads.
12:47I worry that this is going to turn out to be some sort of ghastly, Faustian pact.
12:54The only difference, of course, being when Faust signed,
12:59he wasn't having his cock sucked by a 17-year-old wearing Cecil G.
13:04Do you live with Harry?
13:19I'll just dust where it suits.
13:22Would it suit you to dos here?
13:25I could pay you.
13:29Keep the place tidy.
13:30Do the odd job here and there.
13:34I've already got a job.
13:35Working with Harry in the warehouse.
13:36What do you do?
13:40Whatever he asks me to do.
13:42How interesting.
13:50If I looked after you,
13:53would you do whatever I asked you to do?
13:58I'd have to talk to Harry.
14:00Harry has taken the gang to the pictures
14:07to see his favorite film,
14:10Lawrence of Arabia.
14:12He says he's seen it 13 times.
14:15It seems he has great admiration
14:17for upper-class men of action.
14:20Lawrence of Arabia,
14:21Gordon of Cartoon,
14:23Scott of the Antarctic.
14:25I have a great admiration
14:27for lazy, upper-class foots
14:29who long about all day
14:31pleasuring themselves.
14:37That film gets better
14:38every time I see it.
14:40Yeah, bleeding chain gets everywhere,
14:42doesn't it?
14:43Oh, Jock!
14:44No, no, don't, don't.
14:45Don't take the piss.
14:47Lawrence was a real man.
14:49Proper guts.
14:51And he was bent.
14:53He was as hard as they come.
14:55It's only a film, Harry.
14:55It's what makes the world go round.
14:58Isn't it?
14:59Fighting for what you believe in.
15:02Isn't that right, Teddy?
15:06Poor Harry takes it all so seriously
15:09and fatally imagines that I do too.
15:13Your overdraft is now
15:15£1,000 higher than it was a year ago.
15:19Not only that,
15:19but your borrowing is costing you
15:20£150 a year in interest.
15:22Now, I have to tell you,
15:25investiture or no investiture,
15:28we can't be so lenient now.
15:34Well, um,
15:36I'm considering writing my memoirs.
15:40Well, I'm warning you, Teddy,
15:41if you don't come up with something soon,
15:43head office will want to know
15:44why.
15:46What's this?
16:16Winnings.
16:17But I didn't bet on that race.
16:19I'm putting you on a monthly retainer.
16:23As a business consultant.
16:27Don't worry,
16:28occasionally I'll ask the old fader.
16:30You've been raising the bar, Harry.
16:33Well, how else are you gonna pay
16:35the new ice boy?
16:35Craig?
16:41Craig?
16:46Neil?
16:50Go with some more money.
16:54Craig will take care of you.
16:55I want candy.
17:08I want candy.
17:12I want candy.
17:17I want candy.
17:20Candy on the beach there's nothing better.
17:22Well, I'd put your blood money into your account.
17:27You do shut up, Teddy.
17:30You're lucky I didn't ask for more.
17:37Harry!
17:39Good God, is that him?
17:42Yes. Shall I ask him to join us?
17:44After all, it's his money you're spending.
17:46For God's sake, he looks Jewish. Jewish!
17:50Good gracious.
17:52Still, at least he isn't homosexual.
17:55Listen to me, Teddy.
17:57I no longer care who or what you fuck.
18:00But if there's a scandal, we're both ruined.
18:04I am not fucking you.
18:06We are just good friends.
18:08Oh, I forget. You don't have any friends, do you?
18:11Excuse me.
18:14Harry, my dear chap.
18:16What a marvellous surprise.
18:18How are you?
18:18I am very well, thank you.
18:20This is my wife, Ruth.
18:23How do you do?
18:24I can't say it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Starks.
18:27But I will say, I've been curious.
18:30Well, you know what they say about curiosity, didn't you, love?
18:33I know what they say about you.
18:35All right, dear. Fangs away.
18:39Harry's my business partner.
18:42I'd like you to show him some respect.
18:44Oh?
18:44And what kind of business is that?
18:50Boring business.
18:52Terrible business.
18:54The way Ruth carries on, you'd think it was arm-stealing.
18:57That's what all the tops do now.
19:00If only.
19:01I'd be able to retire and drink Krug until my fucking nose bleeds.
19:06All right, John.
19:14Yeah, great, Harry.
19:16I've just unloaded 25 fridges and a dozen toasters.
19:19Good man.
19:20I've got 30 cookers on the van.
19:22I'm saving them till last.
19:23Very wise.
19:25Nice.
19:25Get on, boss.
19:26Yeah?
19:27All right.
19:28Great.
19:28All right, Manny.
19:31All right, boss.
19:32Watch it.
19:35Now that is Mr. Pinker's desk.
19:38Ah.
19:39Pinker's a manager.
19:41No one sits at Pinker's desk and no one touches Pinker's drawers.
19:45Oh, I would have dreamed of touching Pinker's drawers.
19:47Anyone asks you anything, you tell them to ask Mr. Pinker.
19:51Pinker's a boss.
19:52Then where does one find Mr. Pinker?
19:54He's not here.
19:55You don't talk to him, he doesn't talk to you.
19:58Yeah, but I'm a shareholder.
20:00Surely I can talk to him.
20:00Nobody talks to Mr. Pinker.
20:03Now, look, Harry.
20:04He's very poorly.
20:07He's sickly, isn't he, Manny?
20:08No, he's not a well-manned, boss.
20:10In fact, we call him Sickly Pinker on account of the fact he's so sick all the time.
20:15This is ridiculous.
20:17Yeah, ridiculous.
20:19But true.
20:21Well, at least try and make it look legitimate, Harry.
20:23Oh, it's all legit, you lordship.
20:26I've got receipts and everything.
20:29Look.
20:31Signed invoices.
20:34You'd be amazed.
20:35Signed by whom?
20:37Mr. Pinker, by any chance?
20:39To be honest, I'm worried about the precarious nature of Harry's entrepreneurial activities.
20:50You know, there are opportunities for you to expand, Harry.
20:55And the bigger your business, the better it looks.
20:58I've thought of a way that we can legitimize our business interests.
21:04I thought you didn't know anything about business.
21:06Well, perhaps I know more than you think I know.
21:10You see, the problem is, all your capital is invested in small local enterprises.
21:16Now, what we want is something big, overseas.
21:22Or something offshore, yeah?
21:23Yeah, well, I was thinking more along the lines of Africa.
21:26They're trying to get rid of all the socialists.
21:29They need all the capitalists they can get.
21:32What we need is a nice little business empire in the colonies.
21:38An empire?
21:39A business empire.
21:40Something we can really get our teeth into.
21:43A chance to show what we're really made of.
21:45And right now, the government is rewarding large enterprises in a big way.
21:50Tax breaks, various payouts.
21:53What about a New Year's Honours?
21:56See, I wouldn't mind a peerage.
22:00I mean, what have you got?
22:02Well, in fact, a knighthood would suit me.
22:11I love that bit with the sword.
22:14Well, it's not unheard of.
22:17Sir Harry.
22:20Sir Starks.
22:24Sir Harry Starks.
22:32I don't believe you couldn't sell the Queen Anne.
22:52I'm shocked.
22:55I'd just turn around again and keep going, if I were you.
22:59I was just having it valued.
23:01Craig.
23:03Try as I might, I cannot imagine you intended to have everything of mine valued.
23:08Please, Teddy.
23:13It's like everybody's rich.
23:15Everywhere I look.
23:16Birds, blokes.
23:18But you don't know what it's like.
23:20I've never had what you had.
23:23You don't know what it does to me, knowing I'll never have it.
23:34Well.
23:39We'll just call it the folly of youth, shall we?
23:42This is the problem of growth and prosperity.
23:52The temptation.
23:53The temptation.
23:53The temptation.
23:53No secret handshake today, George.
24:19Detective Inspector Mooney.
24:22West End Central to you.
24:23No, butler, your lordship.
24:41Not even a houseboy.
24:43Very fashionable.
24:45Even Harry Starks has a houseboy or two.
24:50As a matter of fact, it was this lad, Craig, I was hoping to have a word with.
24:54The lad who lives here.
24:57Your son, is it?
25:00Well, have I got that wrong?
25:01Nephew.
25:02Friend.
25:04Don't forget who I am.
25:07Oh, I won't.
25:12And neither will Fleet Street.
25:14What do you want?
25:15Well, there's this new tax I'm collecting, see?
25:19Two hundred pound tax on houseboys.
25:33Cash?
25:34If it's all the same to you.
25:35Craig?
25:36Craig?
25:36Craig?
25:37Craig?
25:37Craig?
25:38Craig?
25:40I'm completely cleaned out, Harry.
25:54In one fell swoop.
25:57I've never been so humiliated.
26:00What am I going to do?
26:04Thanks, Harry.
26:06I owe you for this.
26:08The body of Sir Winston Churchill.
26:10You'll never see us like again.
26:13To the last great environment.
26:19I find myself turning to Harry more and more.
26:23To everyone else, I'm just a dreary old sissy.
26:25But I believe I am important to him.
26:29Do you know, I was one of the few who stood by him in the wilderness years.
26:34Foolish I may be.
26:36But always loyal.
26:39Ex unitate veres, we used to say at school.
26:43Finding in unity strength.
26:46The Prime Minister, Harold Wilkins, and Representative...
26:51Thank you, Teddy.
27:04Steady on, old chap.
27:06Get a great.
27:07What do you mean?
27:08Harry's my friend.
27:09For the time being.
27:11Then you do what everybody does with his sort.
27:14Milk him before he milks you.
27:17Then lose him.
27:18Milk him?
27:18I have no intention of milking anybody.
27:23Neither the sudden shock of battle,
27:26nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down.
27:31Give us the tools,
27:34and we will finish the job.
27:39Have you given any more faultless Africa business?
27:42Yes, I have, actually.
27:43Um, I'm due in the House of Lords on Monday, a debate about overseas aid.
27:50The newly independent states, Uganda, Zaire, Nigeria.
27:56Oh, that's convenient.
27:57Yeah, it's a huge country, Nigeria.
27:59It's rich in resources.
28:01It's also hugely unstable.
28:04It's ripe for modernization.
28:06It just needs a firm hand before it's too late.
28:09You mean you want my firm to take over before the commies do?
28:14Consumerism, Harry.
28:15Hmm?
28:17Somebody's got to feed the monster.
28:20Like Lawrence and the Arabs.
28:24Well...
28:26Yes, actually.
28:28Very like Lawrence.
28:30Yes.
28:31Yeah.
28:35Yeah.
28:36Just be nice to him, spoil him a little bit.
28:55Look after him, do you know what I mean?
28:56Harry.
28:57Harry.
29:02Harry Starks.
29:03John Agumpi.
29:04John's come from Nigeria to study civil engineering.
29:09Engineering?
29:10Building bridges and...
29:12Construction.
29:12Absolutely.
29:13That's right, isn't it, John?
29:14Oh, yes.
29:15I have heard about your various businesses, Mr. Starks.
29:18Oh.
29:19I have also heard you are a great idealist.
29:23Perhaps I can learn something from you.
29:25Oh, I think we can all learn something from Harry.
29:29Would you like a drink, John?
29:31Oh, yes.
29:31Get some champagne over here, Bob.
29:35Come sit down.
29:35Make yourself comfortable.
29:37I am planning to build a township near Enugu in southern Nigeria.
29:463,000 houses and also a shopping precinct.
29:50Now you'll speak in my language.
29:53I am determined to use my English education to improve the living standards for the people of Nigeria.
29:58Well, the way I see it, the more they know, the more they spend.
30:05Here we go.
30:08I am currently dividing my time between here and Nigeria in the hope of securing support for this scheme.
30:19Well, you've come to the right place, John.
30:21Harry is a visionary.
30:23Just like you, John.
30:25It's a man of vision.
30:27Men of vision.
30:28Cheers.
30:29Man of vision.
30:30Cheers.
30:31Cheers.
30:31Have you met Brenda?
30:37Brenda.
30:37No.
30:38It's Joe.
30:39Ah, Brenda.
30:40Hi.
30:49Bye.
30:58Yes.
30:59You want something?
31:04Yeah, do you want anything?
31:09Sorry, I'd like to shake my hand.
31:12Excuse me.
31:14Don't look at that, Frank!
31:16Come on, that's fine.
31:21That's who's mine, you get me?
31:24Hold his head back, girl!
31:26Tell everybody!
31:27All your poor friends on the delivery!
31:30I've invested heavily in him and he's mine, you understand?
31:35Close the door, Terry, give us a bit of privacy.
31:46Poor Craig.
31:48All my fault, of course.
31:51Up until now, I haven't thought about the real nastiness of what Harry gets up to.
31:55The ugliness behind the charm, what really lurks behind the scenes of his rackets, is a one-man cyclone of dysfunction.
32:06In my own decline, I'm left with an abiding sense of failure, a wasted career, a rotten marriage, constant money worries.
32:20I've utterly failed to resist temptation, not given in to beastly lusts.
32:29I feel resigned to slow decline, clinging to some vague hope of redemption, yet wallowing in the inevitable descent into decadence.
32:41You should know that for an initial investment of 25,000 pounds, you could realise a profit of as much as 200,000 pounds, perhaps more.
32:56Yes.
32:57Very lucrative.
32:59Of course, you'd be required to make extra payments during construction.
33:03Extra payments?
33:04Unforeseen expenses are very common in Nigeria.
33:09No, no, no, no, no. This is not good. Unforeseen?
33:12It's inevitable. You will get very used to this, yes.
33:16Inevitable? Unforeseen and inevitable? This is not good.
33:20They're tax-deductible, Manny.
33:23Harry, don't pay tax.
33:26Well, it's just good business practice, Harry.
33:29I mean, for all of us.
33:30That is it. Good for all of us.
33:35Any questions, gentlemen?
33:41Yeah, I've got a question.
33:42This new township.
33:45What are you going to call it?
33:48Something to do with lions, perhaps.
33:52Simba, to symbolise great strength.
33:54I like lions very much.
33:57Tell you what, call it Starkville.
33:59You got yourself a deal.
34:02Stark's will it is.
34:05Stark's will it is.
34:08I feel terrible foreboding
34:10as I cling to the last vestiges
34:13of my tame, well-ordered life.
34:17Harry is like some darkened, rogue planet,
34:21pulling everyone into his magnetic field
34:23and then blasting them off into orbit
34:27to do his bidding.
34:30What's this?
34:32Progress.
34:33It's a man holding a spade.
34:36He is digging.
34:37Digging what? Bleeding turnips?
34:41Very funny joke.
34:42I like his English jokes.
34:44Yeah?
34:44Well, where's the houses?
34:47Where's the shopping precinct?
34:48In fact, where's the bleeding jungle?
34:50That could be a whipsnay for all I know.
34:52There have been a few setbacks.
34:54Oh, setbacks.
34:58I'll give you setbacks, you cheeky bastard.
35:00Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, please.
35:02We have to give him the benefit of the doubt.
35:08We have to learn to trust him.
35:10At least, look as though we do.
35:12But I don't trust him.
35:13But that is the nature of business, Harry.
35:15Nobody really trusts anybody.
35:18But there is a social contract.
35:21It's just...
35:23Good manners.
35:25Since when did good manners
35:26have anything to do with business?
35:28Legitimate business, Harry,
35:30is a different matter.
35:31No, no, no, no.
35:32Don't talk to me about business, Teddy.
35:35I know all about business.
35:42In fact, come with me.
35:43I'll show you about business.
35:44Come on.
35:45Now.
35:46Come on.
35:48Come on.
35:51I'll give you business.
36:00Here we are.
36:01Now, have a look at this.
36:22It's called a long firm.
36:24One of the best scams around.
36:30Do you remember Mr. Pinker?
36:32He died 20 years ago.
36:35But his birth certificate is still valid.
36:38Now, you can get all the documents you need
36:40to run a business with a valid birth certificate.
36:42So, you register a company.
36:43So, you register a company.
36:45You rent a warehouse.
36:47Drive a few influential faces to be non-executive board directors.
36:52Then you start trading.
36:53You buy out all the stock you can lay your hands on.
36:56And you pay your first invoice on the dot.
37:01Then you get the goods on credit.
37:04Delay payment on them until you've got a warehouse full and then bang.
37:07Sell, sell, sell.
37:08Close up, you disappear, and you leave Mr. Pinker to pick up the pieces.
37:13He's got everything.
37:15Debt, expenditure, profit.
37:18That's capitalism.
37:23And that, my old son, is business.
37:34To all the long firms I ever done,
37:36and to all the ones that are yet to come.
37:38Cheers.
37:39Cheers.
37:40Cheers, everyone.
37:41Good work.
37:41Good luck.
37:42Come on, Teddy.
37:51I think I've had just a little bit too much.
37:55So do I.
37:55Remember this?
38:14Huh?
38:17Oh, my God.
38:18Of course.
38:25What's the matter?
38:28Can't get it up?
38:29Hey, old prick.
38:30Can't get it up.
38:34Get out of here.
38:35Get out of here.
38:36Stay in the way, man.
38:38His mouth.
38:39Go on.
38:40Hey, get out of here.
38:40Get out of here.
38:41Harry!
38:45It seems I've misjudged Harry.
38:53I misjudged his hardness.
38:55And my own gentleness.
38:59Of which nobody has any use in this thrusting new age.
39:04This is my fate.
39:06And I must bear it with all the courage I can muster.
39:09Yes?
39:12Harry!
39:15Well, um...
39:17It's not really convenient at the moment.
39:24Yeah, of course.
39:25Of course, Harry.
39:26Right away.
39:37Go through.
39:39Go on.
39:44Go on.
39:45You're all right.
39:46Go on.
39:48Teddy.
39:50Come in.
39:51Sit down.
39:58No, not there.
40:01The chair.
40:01Oh, Jesus.
40:25Right.
40:26Right.
40:26We are going to Africa to sort this shit out for proper.
40:36Oh.
40:37Oh, well.
40:39That's fabulous.
40:40You'll have a ball.
40:42When are you planning on leaving?
40:46We?
40:47Teddy?
40:48I said we.
40:49Oh, well.
40:51Harry, my dear chap.
40:53You see, the thing is, what we think is, you have a commitment.
40:58Don't forget you have a contract.
41:01That's right.
41:01That's right.
41:02A contract.
41:04Where is a contract?
41:05Shall we tell you the contract?
41:06Naughty teddy.
41:22I know it's called a consumer society, your lordship, but I think you've consumed quite
41:27enough, don't you?
41:29This whole business was your nutty idea.
41:32I've poured a lot of guilt into this scam.
41:35It's about fucking time it paid off.
41:54I still don't understand what I'm expected to do.
41:57I mean, I've nothing to do with foreign affairs.
42:02Look, just be with me.
42:04All right?
42:07I don't know what these Africans are up to.
42:09Having a visit in British dignitary by my side can't hurt, can it?
42:12I really have no choice at all in this, do I?
42:15Teddy, pull yourself together.
42:19Come on, it'll be fun.
42:24Right?
42:24Welcome to my wonderful country, eh?
42:41Mr. Starks, how are you?
42:44Well, I could be better, Jones.
42:46Please stop waving at them.
43:02If you'd like to, too.
43:03I don't know what to do.
43:06We'll talk about it.
43:08I think, oh, come on.
43:08I'll be okay.
43:09Bye.
43:10Bye.
43:11Bye.
43:11Bye.
43:12Bye.
43:13Bye.
43:14Bye.
43:16Bye.
43:17Bye.
43:18Bye.
43:20Bye.
43:22Bye.
43:22Bye.
43:22Bye.
43:23Bye.
43:24Bye.
43:24Bye.
43:24Bye.
43:25Bye.
43:28Bye.
43:30Bye.
43:30Bye.
43:31Bye.
43:31Welcome, Lord Fesby. It's a great honor.
43:45Welcome, Lord Fesby. It's a great honor.
43:50Welcome, Lord Starks. It's a great honor.
43:54Call me Mr. Starks.
43:56You're not a lord?
43:58Well, something like that.
44:00My friends call me Harry.
44:01I'm Dr. Tripura, the regional minister.
44:04I'm afraid you'll have to get used to me hanging around.
44:06Minister?
44:08We'll visit the construction site tomorrow, if that is convenient.
44:12Meanwhile, there is a party in your honor.
44:14This way, please.
44:16Party?
44:18We like parties, don't we, Teddy?
44:28You can take Harry out of the stardust.
44:31But you'll never take the stardust out of Harry.
44:35Already, people sense he is different to the usual colonial day, Tripura's.
44:41Can I have a quiet word?
44:42Certainly.
44:42The government is very keen to encourage overseas investment and development here.
44:48But it is important to make sure this expansion is regulated.
44:53We can't have people coming over to make a quick buck.
44:57As a politician, I'm sure you'll understand we need long-term commitment.
45:01Just as it should be.
45:03Indeed.
45:03John Nugumbe is a very ambitious young man.
45:09He has, as we say here, got a very big eye.
45:13I wouldn't want you to get out of your depth.
45:16You're a long way from home.
45:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:27Teddy.
45:28Teddy.
45:29Teddy.
45:29Teddy.
45:33Marvellous.
45:34Eh?
45:35The third world, I never even knew there was a second one.
45:37And the people are really friendly.
45:42Really lovely people.
45:45I think we're going to do well here.
45:47No, you behave yourself.
45:48No.
45:49No.
46:07I think we're not allowed to look at this.
46:37As you can see, progress is slow but very steady.
46:52Steady?
46:54I'll give you steady.
46:55You haven't even started yet.
46:57We work for cement.
47:00Cement?
47:01There has been a long holdup.
47:03I go to Lagos today to sort it out.
47:05You know, there are always delays from time to time, eh?
47:16Cement?
47:17What do you mean cement?
47:18Well, it's obviously the sort of petty holdup that we've been warned about.
47:23Yeah, but cement, Teddy.
47:25I know all about cement.
47:26I have no doubt you do.
47:27What could be the problem in getting a hold of cement?
47:32Hold on, where's he gone?
47:45I don't prefer to something cemented by any chance.
47:47I've got a very bad feeling about all this.
47:54I hope your visit has been a success, Your Lordship.
48:01I hope you are now sufficiently reassured.
48:04Absolutely.
48:06And here's to a safe message home.
48:12Should you find yourself in any difficulties, you can reach me on this emergency number.
48:16You may find it hard to get through.
48:18Thank you, I advise you to persist.
48:37What did he want?
48:39Not much.
48:40I hoped our visit had been a success.
48:41Wished us a bon voyage.
48:43Oh, um, yes.
48:58Could you tell Mr. Harold Starks that I'll be five minutes late for breakfast?
49:05What do you mean he's checked out?
49:13I...
49:16I...
49:18I...
49:20I...
49:21I...
49:26I...
49:30I...
49:40morning teddy brought you a nice cup of tea
50:01oh you inexorable bastard where the hell have you been I needed to find out a few things
50:15yeah and I don't expect much Harry but just a little sensitivity that wouldn't be asking too
50:22much would it teddy yeah but no no no not you it's all me me me with you isn't it teddy I all I want
50:29to know is when we're going home we're not going home not just yet advise against that get away
50:35from me get your hands off me what the hell did you do that for we don't have time for this teddy
50:48yeah I might have expected this when all else fails result of brute intimidation will you stop doing
50:55that I haven't even started yet I'll warn you Harry I will not be intimidated please don't hit me any
51:10more I can't take it we've been had over if that bastard thinks he can get away with it he's got
51:27another thing come in Harry I really think that you should walk away from this one walk away yes
51:36oh you silly old queen do you think I can walk away from all that money well what you're going to
51:42do we teddy it's we I won't tell you again
52:06there's our cement teddy where out there the ship well how can you tell I can tell what's he doing
52:18out there I mean surely he should come into port to be unloaded that's what you'd think but that ain't
52:24the way mr. Ogunby works he keeps it out there we on the water on purpose oh yeah oh god oh well now
52:35I'm completely lost look it's simple Ogunby's fixed it so there's a problem with the import license
52:41the cement arrives weights offshore can't dock yeah so you and me have to pay the shipping company
52:49compensation for every day that ship is out there if it stays there long enough we end up paying them
52:55more than if they deliver the cement then they sail off they sell it somewhere else they split the
53:01money with Ogunby you've got with me it's a brilliant record yeah he's a bloody con man and it takes one
53:07to know one but we should tell the consulate it's too late he's already got our money
53:11no we're gonna do this my way what I found a little bastard
53:41no no no no no look no I can't buy violence I'm just no good at that sort of thing good job I'm an
53:51expert then I'm not hitting anyone if that's what you're thinking just want you to reassure him
53:58talk to him thank you see the error of his ways
54:02is
54:15titty get a chair
54:16what a chair
54:18right now I ain't gonna enjoy this any more than you me old son
54:25And these must, as they say.
54:30I want the truth.
54:32The whole truth.
54:35By the time I finish with you, by God, I'm going to have it.
54:39You think I'm made of money, do you?
54:42You think I've got money to burn?
54:44This is not your country.
54:51It is now.
54:52Oh, please, Thersby!
54:56It could have been really good.
54:58I wanted it to be really good.
55:01Special.
55:02Not dodgy like everything else.
55:04I had big plans.
55:07But you had your own big plans, didn't you?
55:09And that really pisses me off, John, it does.
55:14You really hurt me.
55:18So now, I'm going to really hurt you.
55:22Make him stop!
55:26John, John, John, now, be reasonable.
55:30Harry is very upset.
55:32And understandably so.
55:34You have a great deal of his money.
55:36Now, it's only fair to expect him to want it back.
55:39What's so funny?
55:49Don't you laugh at me?
55:52You think all Afrikaans are innocent natives?
55:55You thought you could make money out of stupid picaninis?
55:59You wanted quick profit from crooked money.
56:05But we've learned well from our colonial masters.
56:08The imperial gangsters.
56:10Right, that's enough, Fanny and about.
56:18Give me my fucking money or I'll blow your fucking head off.
56:23Drop your weapon and hold still.
56:25Drop your weapon now.
56:26Who the fuck are you?
56:28Now!
56:30Behold our glorious armed forces, gentlemen.
56:34I should warn you, they are notoriously trigger happy.
56:38Now!
56:39Thank you for leading us to Mr. Ogumbi.
57:01That was quite a disappearing act.
57:03Look, what is going on here?
57:04You have a big eye and a long throat, Ogumbi.
57:19See that it doesn't get the better of you again.
57:23Minister, doctor, please.
57:25Now, fuck off back to your tired little island before I get angry.
57:52There you are.
57:53Don't!
57:54Get back!
57:55In the end, I can't help being sorry for Harry.
58:02He wanted so badly to eat at the big table.
58:06I've got a large brand, he's problem.
58:08But the classless society is as much a cheap con as one of Harry's loan firms.
58:13It's an illusion.
58:16I can be part of Harry's world any time I like.
58:20He'll never be part of mine.
58:22But somehow I think you'll never stop trying.
58:28As I stand here in the shadows, with tears, screaming down my face.
58:49Down my face, I can see you with another, the one who has taken my place.
59:07And it hurts me.
59:07And it hurts me.
59:12Oh, it hurts me.
59:14But you'll never...
59:18Never, never, never, never
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