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452 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 23, 2018




"You are not going for the mint!" It isn't a question.
He pauses, and again his dark brow lifts, this time a little higher, a little more outraged as well. God, those eyes, green sin surrounded by thick, thick lashes. Girl lashes. Nothing else about him is girly. "And if I am?"
"I'm sorry," I say with a false smile. "Do I know you?"
His expression clearly says he thinks I'm a smartass. But he extends his big hand with those long, talented fingers.
"Hi, I'm John Blackwood. You glared at me all over a grocery, kissed me, then stole my dessert."
I don't take his hand. "You seem fairly stuck on that whole kissing and stealing bit."
Because when I'm low, I don't want to be the one seeking out company. I want someone to find me, to tell me I'm wanted, needed. And when I don't get that, I sink lower.
Another set of brilliant blue eyes has me enthralled. I fall a little in love just then. Because the infant cozily tucked in the chest carrier the man wears is the cutest baby I've ever seen. The little guy clearly knows it and gives me a gummy smile while waving his chubby fist.
"Oh, my god. Be still my heart."
The man in the suit doesn't change his expression, but something that looks a lot like beaming pride fills his eyes and makes him suddenly seem human. He puts a protective hand upon the baby's stomach. And there goes my overies.
Whip scowls at Scottie. "And what's all this proclivities nonsense? Since when did beating the meat or rubbing the bean become a deviant activity?"
"Beating the meat." John snickers into his beer.
"Got a better one," Whip counters with a brow waggle.
"Wanking the willy?"
"Charming the snake," Sophie offers.
"Polishing the pearl," Jules says.
"Tickling my treat," Brenna adds.
"I'm becoming uncomfortably aroused," Rye grumbles, which makes Brenna flush bright pink and hide her face behind the rim of her martini glass.
With one last kiss, John cups my cheeks and meets my gaze, his eyes tender and wide. "We're going to be okay."
It isn't a question, but I answer anyway.
"Of course we are. We're going to be forever."



She’s my new favorite song; I want to play her over and over.
Audio book source: Hoopla
Story Rating: 4 stars
Narrators: Maxine Mitchell & Nelson Hobbs
Narration Rating: 4 stars
Genre: Contemporary Romance (rockstar)
Length: 14h 11m






I feel sick down to my brittle bones and terrified heart. Everything ends. Love dies. In the end, I’ll be alone, and there isn’t a thing I can do to stop it.
She’s my new favorite song; I want to play her over and over.

Stella giggles. That sound. It bubbles over my skin, trips my heart. I love that sound.
“Beating the meat.” John snickers into his beer.
“Got a better one,” Whip counters with a brow waggle.
“Wanking the willy?”
“Charming the snake,” Sophie offers.
“Polishing the pearl,” Jules says.
“Tickling my treat,” Brenna adds.
“I’m becoming uncomfortably aroused,” Rye grumbles, which makes Brenna flush bright pink and hide her face behind the rim of her martini glass.

“Stella Button, the moment you ripped that ice cream out of my hand, you knocked me off-balance. All I could do was fall.”

“There is no more talking, no more waiting. We’re kissing each other, and it isn’t demanding or frantic; it’s consuming, a fall right into the deep end of the ocean. John comes after my mouth like it’s his right, his pleasure. I’ve never been kissed this way. I am the banquet and he is the hunger.”
“What do you think about?” she asks in the dark. “When you do it?”
“You.” I’m stroking faster now, getting into a rhythm. “Since that first night, it’s only been you.”
…
I lick my lips. “Truth?”
Her answer is a husk of sound. “Always.”
“I think of watching myself slide into you. Imagine sinking into your heat.” My voice goes rougher, my balls drawing up tight and sweet. “That first push when I take you, knowing that you’re letting me. That’s it. I think of having you. Finally, fucking having you. That’s the moment I dream about.”
“There isn’t anyone I want to be around more than you. You occupy my thoughts, haunt my dreams. I can no more stay away from you than I can try to keep my heart from beating.”
“…You endure. You keep moving forward. But some days, Stella … Some days I get so fucking tired.”
“Then rest,” I whisper. “Rest with me. Let me be where you lay your head for a while.”
He glances up, and I’m hit with the full force of his green gaze. “Been thinking about you, Stells.”I do wish that heart to heart scene between Killian and Jax had been... more. It was such a long time coming that I should've been crying when they finally went there. Also as of now, I think Brenna can do better than Rye so by all means Kristen Callihan, change my mind
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Stella Button, the moment you ripped that ice cream out of my hand, you knocked me off-balance. All I could do was fall.”

I want her under me, over me, beside me. I want to dedicate hours memorizing the pattern of her freckles, each curve and dip of her body. I want her body against mine until her scent is in my skin. I want to taste her, to fuck her, to laugh with her. I want everything.


Oh my cock—god. My cock—godcockgod…” She flails her hands. “God. I meant God. God-cock. Argh!”
Her flustered blather ends in a gurgle and a new tide of rapid hand flapping. Even though her sudden appearance scared the shit out of me—until I realized it was Stella and not some stalker who’d gotten in—a laugh escapes me.
“My cock is godlike, so I can see the confusion.”
Her face flames bright red. “Dick.”
“It goes by that name too.” I wink at her.
I meet her blue eyes and call out—God knows what. Sound tears from my throat, but I don’t hear it past my pounding ears. I look at Stella and fall into the abyss. I. Am. Wrecked.



“And all I could think was, who the fuck am I? I felt like a lie, and then all this … ugliness started pouring in—telling me I was unlovable, unworthy, a fake—until I felt so dirty and trapped in my own skin that I couldn’t stand it. And there was no way out.”


*I received an early version of this book to voluntarily read.*