Energy In Negotiation

You’re more influenced by the people around you than you think… far more. Social contagion, the process by which emotions, behaviors, and ideas spread through groups, isn’t something that happens only in tight-knit friendships. It happens in workplaces, classrooms, and even through the digital spaces we scroll through daily. Research shows that emotions like happiness and sadness ripple through social networks much like viruses (Rosenquist, Fowler, & Christakis, 2011). In professional settings, behaviors like rudeness or generosity can cascade across entire teams (Foulk et al., 2016). Among students, things like motivation and engagement are surprisingly contagious (Burgess, 2018). And the digital world isn’t exempt. A now-famous Facebook experiment found that users’ emotions could be influenced simply by adjusting the tone of the content they were exposed to (Kramer, Guillory, & Hancock, 2014), without their awareness (ethically questionable). The takeaway is that what surrounds you, both physically and digitally, shapes how you feel, think, and act. Even when you believe you’re making entirely independent decisions, the influence is already at work. So be really conscious of who you’re time with, and how they’re either ‘good’ for you, or not. And if they’re not, try to limit exposure for the sake of your energy, your beliefs, and your motivation. P.S. Would you say you’re aware of who’s really influencing you? Research: Rosenquist, J. N., Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2011). Social network determinants of depression. Molecular Psychiatry, 16, 273–281. Foulk, T. A., Woolum, A. H., & Erez, A. (2016). Catching rudeness is like catching a cold: The contagion effects of low-intensity negative behaviors. Journal of Applied Psych, 101(1), 50–67. Burgess, L. G., Riddell, P. M., Fancourt, A., & Murayama, K. (2018). The influence of social contagion within education: A motivational perspective. Mind, Brain, and Education, 12(4), 164-174. Kramer, A. D. I., Guillory, J. E., & Hancock, J. T. (2014). Experimental evidence of massive-scale emotional contagion through social networks. PNAS, 111(24), 8788–8790.

The transition to renewable energy sources like solar and wind is crucial for a sustainable future. However, their intermittent nature poses challenges for grid integration and stability. Our latest review focuses on Integrated Energy Management Systems (IEMS) that can make a game-changing difference. An IEMS is an advanced system that combines predictive and real-time controls to balance energy supply and demand intelligently. By integrating solar forecasting, demand-side management, and supply-side management, an IEMS can optimize renewable energy utilization while maintaining grid reliability. Here are some key benefits of implementing an IEMS: 1. Accurate Solar Forecasting: By precisely predicting solar energy generation, an IEMS can proactively manage supply and initiate appropriate responses, reducing uncertainties. 2. Demand-Side Management: An IEMS can initiate demand responses, such as adjusting energy consumption patterns or incentivizing customers to shift loads, ensuring a better balance between supply and demand. 3. Supply-Side Management: When solar generation is insufficient, an IEMS can seamlessly integrate alternative energy sources, energy storage systems, or dispatch algorithms to maintain a stable supply. 4. Cost Savings: By optimizing energy use and reducing waste, an IEMS can lead to significant cost savings for utilities, businesses, and consumers alike. As the world transitions towards a more sustainable energy future, adopting cutting-edge technologies like IEMS will be crucial. #renewables #research #management #netzero #energy

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

Many negotiators ignore the tension in the room. They press forward, hoping it resolves itself. But I’ve never seen that work. Not in boardrooms, not in contract negotiations, not in leadership conversations or personal decisions. Unspoken tension doesn’t fade. It festers. And it quietly derails progress, in change initiatives, stakeholder alignment, team dynamics, and even at the dinner table. Over the years, I started tracking what worked. What got things moving again instead of flatlining. I noticed that every time progress stalled, tension was in the room… but no one named it. Now, I always call it early. → “It feels like something’s stuck.” → “I’m sensing some hesitation , is that fair?” → “We’ve gone quiet. Are we holding something back?” I say what others won’t. Not to provoke, but to release the pressure. And when I do: → People breathe. → The walls drop. → The real issues show up. → And progress starts again. That’s not soft skill. It’s strategy. If we're not trained to work with emotion under pressure, we’ll keep trying to negotiate facts. while the real conflict stays buried. Tension doesn’t go away by itself. We have to lead it out.

*One emotion over all* Say you are your company CEO. A funky, purple, corporate genie appears to grant you a wish - at your command, you can confer one emotional state on your entire workforce. Every leader, every team member. What would you choose? Energy? Purpose? Happiness? Creativity? It’s Friday evening. I am a young flunky, and B is my scary, hyper-successful boss. “It is absolutely essential”, B warns me sternly, “that you finish this project X task ASAP! I need it first thing Monday.” I groan, there goes my weekend. I slog for two days - skip movies with my friends, skip meals, skip showers (hey, who’s smelling me?). Unkempt, dead tired, but somehow done, I drag myself into office on Monday and wait for the dreaded call. It never comes. The entire day passes, and B has shown no interest in me or this super-urgent project. I am half crying when I get to the flat I share with a colleague. “I had a horrible day”, he tells me morosely. HE had a terrible day?! Wait till I tell him my story! “What happened?”, I ask. “B yelled at me in front of everyone today. For 15 minutes! For ‘wasting my time’ on project X over other priorities!” B was an extremely talented professional. But in one day - two team members were bereft, their confidence shaken, deep resentments seeded, conflicting messages sent, and (at least) one major bitching session ensued. So much emotional scarring! So unnecessary. To spread most emotional states all across your company, you are indeed going to need a purple genie. You are unlikely to have a team where everyone is creative, or everyone has positive energy … or everyone is content with their performance Rating. But there is in fact one state that is entirely in your control as the boss. To me, the most important of all emotional states in my team - Psychological Safety. Do your employees feel psychologically ‘safe’ at the workplace? Do they feel like genuine contributing members of a team? Do they know what roles they play? Feel valued for playing those roles? Does everyone have necessary context to bring their best to work? Do people speak up when they disagree, or when they have a new idea? (Or are they scared the boss is going to chew their head off?) Does the boss ever express vulnerability or doubt in front of the team? Or does (s)he always know everything and is always right? Is it ok for the team to take chances, maybe make mistakes, or will one mistake be your end? Is the leader like MS Dhoni, in short, or like B? As a boss, creating an environment of psychological safety isn’t that hard - just be a good human being! Treat people with respect. Openly share company context. Ask questions, listen to everyone’s answers. Encourage divergent ideas. Appreciate good work generously. Use mistakes as learning moments, not beating sticks. Admit your own mistakes. Don’t humiliate people publicly. Basically: DON’T. BE. AN. A-HOLE. It’s not that hard, bosses. And you don’t need a purple genie to get this wish.

I’ll never forget this moment. A Sales VP — sharp suit, polished slides, years of experience — walked into a high-stakes pitch. The kind of meeting where you can feel your heartbeat in your throat. The client sat across the table. A long wooden table that suddenly felt too wide, too cold. He leaned back. Arms folded tightly, like a shield. His eyes didn’t meet the VP’s. They wandered across the room, occasionally landing on the watch on his wrist. His fingers drummed softly against the table — tap, tap, tap — the sound of disconnection. The VP didn’t notice. Or maybe he did, but brushed it off. He clicked to the next slide, voice firm: “Let me show you how this solution will change your numbers.” But the client’s silence was louder than the pitch. He tilted his head slightly, lips pressed into a thin line. Inside his mind, an invisible wall had gone up. When the meeting ended, the VP thought he had done “enough.” But the client’s words hit harder than any objection: “He didn’t listen. He only sold.” That one sentence cut deeper than a lost deal. Because it wasn’t about the product. It was about presence. ⸻ Weeks later, in our training, we unpacked that moment piece by piece. I asked the VP: ✨ “What did the room feel like?” He paused. “Heavy. Like I was talking into a void.” ✨ “What did you see?” He thought again. “Arms folded. Eyes drifting. But I thought I could win him with data.” ✨ “What did you hear?” “Silence,” he admitted. “But I mistook it for listening. It was actually disengagement.” That’s when the truth landed. He had been selling to the client’s ears — but not to his heart. We practiced something different. Not just pitching. But noticing. Noticing the breath, the posture, the micro-expressions. Noticing when someone is leaning in — or leaning away. Noticing when silence is interest… and when it’s resistance. ⸻ A month later, he walked into another meeting with the same client. This time, no slides first. He asked a question. He paused. He listened. The client leaned forward, arms open on the table, voice softer: “Now you’re listening. Yes.” That deal wasn’t won by data. It was won by presence. People decide with emotions first, logic second. Body language speaks before words. And sometimes, the loudest “No” is not spoken. It’s folded in arms, hidden in silence, carved in the space between two people. #bodylangauge #communicationskills

Did you know that cyclists are faster when competing against each other than when competing alone against the clock? In general, people tend to perform better when they’re in the presence of others. The effect is known as “social facilitation” and it’s not just about sports or physical tasks; our feelings react more strongly too. So, we perform better and feel more intensely when others are with us. What’s going on? Physical and emotional activity have a common pathway through the #brain, namely the autonomic nervous system (ANS). Specifically, the sympathetic branch of the ANS controls the body’s “fight or flight” response. Although we often think about this in the context of being terrified, it is active all the time to maintain a healthy internal state. In the presence other people, the sympathetic branch of the ANS upregulates its activity – that is, it increases the fight-or-flight response. This prepares the body for action by increasing the heart rate and constricting certain blood vessels, directing blood flow to essential areas like muscles and away from less critical areas at that moment, such as the digestive system. Breathing becomes more rapid to enhance oxygen intake and blood sugar levels increase, providing a quick energy supply for whatever action might be required. There’s some great work by Robert Zajonc which shows the effect is not limited to humans – many species change their behaviour in the presence of conspecifics. You can see it in things as simple as cockroaches. When placed in a group, cockroaches run faster (a terrifying image)! Even mice navigate mazes more effectively when being observed by other mice. Emotions use the same sympathetic nervous system, precisely because evocative stimuli – a creepy guy lurking in the shadows or a crocodile looking at you as “lunch” – not only evokes fear, but also prepares the body for action. As a result, we experience stronger emotional reactions when around other people than when alone. This is specifically known as “collective effervescence” and it has clear implications for #ExperientialMarketing. In brief, emotional impact is enhanced when it occurs in a social context. Taking Zajonc’s work into consideration, it becomes clear that one reason that experiential marketing events are disproportionately impactful relative to more traditional approaches is because of the social context, which heightens arousal and emotional reactivity. Not all impressions are not created equal. Even though experiential events don't reach as large an audience, they are far more likely to make a lasting impact. So when preparing that media plan, don’t forget the benefits of live events, OOH and cinema – all places were the audience is surrounded by other people! What’s your experience of social facilitation? Have you noticed improvements in either your performance or your emotional reactivity in the presence of others?

Rory McllRoy on Body Language: "What you Put Out into the World, is What you Get Back" Major winner, Rory McllRoy, talks about how worked on his body language, such as keeping his eye line above the crowd, so that his his chest would be up, which show positivity. Research on body language, also known as non-verbal impressions revealed that body language can impact: ✅ Sporting performance (Kraus, Huang, & Keltner, 2010; Moesch et al., 2016) ✅ Collective efficacy in team sports (Ronglan, 2007) ✅ Team outcome confidence (Fransen et al., 2015) ✅ Emotions and behaviours of others (for a review, see Matsumoto et al., 2013). ✅ An athlete's perception of his or her coach (Manley et al., 2008).

I used to think success meant working harder than everyone else. Now I understand the most creative work happens when we're in a state of play. This shifted everything for me. Most founders optimize for efficiency and productivity, but they're missing the secret ingredient: psychological safety to play and explore. When I built systems that created space for play instead of consuming it, my creativity exploded. 7 principles that transformed my approach to work: 1. Schedule Unstructured Time Block time for activities with no predetermined outcome. This is when the best ideas emerge. 2. Create Sacred Play Dates I schedule play dates with myself that are as non-negotiable as my most important meetings. They're not optional - they're essential. 3. Design For Spontaneity Your physical environment shapes your mental state. I intentionally design spaces that spark curiosity and playfulness rather than just efficiency. 4. Value Process Over Product When I stopped fixating on outcomes and learned to love the process, my work quality skyrocketed. Joy in creation is the ultimate competitive advantage. 5. Embrace The Social Element Surround yourself with people who celebrate failure as part of exploration. Play thrives in communities where judgment is suspended. 6. Move Your Body I rediscovered physical activities that made me lose track of time as a child. Your body is an instrument of play, not just a vehicle for your brain. 7. Build Systems That Create Freedom When your business runs on systems, your life runs on freedom. The right systems don't constrain creativity - they unleash it. Most founders have it backward. They build companies that consume their creativity rather than fuel it. They optimize for efficiency at the expense of innovation. I've learned that the $20M founder doesn't just build profitable businesses - they build environments that generate endless creative energy. Einstein was right: "Play is the highest form of research." __ Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Matt Gray for more. Want help implementing this strategy in your own brand? Send me ‘Freedom’ and I’ll share how we can support. For action-takers only, not info collectors.

Are we truly listening, or just waiting for our turn to speak? Yesterday, during a session on Communication Skills, we were discussing the biggest hurdles to effective communication — and something struck me deeply. Despite all the emphasis on clarity, tone, and body language, the real challenge lies in something far more basic: ✨being fully present.✨ In today’s fast-paced world, we are surrounded by distractions — both internal and external — that constantly pull us away from mindful listening. Internal Distractions: 1. That constant stream of thoughts running in the background. 2. Shrinking attention spans makes it hard to stay focused. 3. The urge to interrupt or mentally craft our reply while the other person is still speaking. External Distractions: 1. Social media pings and app notifications. 2. A million other things are demanding our attention at once. The result? We hear, but we don’t listen. We respond, but we don’t understand. As Stephen R. Covey rightly said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” So how do we combat these distractions and become better communicators? Here are a few simple yet powerful practices: 📍Practice active listening: Make eye contact, nod, reflect back — show you're present. 📍Silence your tech: Put your phone face down or on silent during conversations. 📍Pause your thoughts: Consciously slow your mind and focus on the speaker, not your next sentence. 📍Create mental space: Take a deep breath before conversations and remind yourself: “I’m here to understand, not just to respond.” 📍Be curious, not reactive: Replace judgment with curiosity. This alone can transform any conversation. Let’s start clearing the noise, so we can start truly connecting. What practices do you apply to stay present in your conversations? #CommunicationSkills #ActiveListening #CorporateTraining #LeadershipDevelopment