Sigh

I don’t know what to call it,
but it’s definitely not a “surprise”,
when at some point in our lives
we suddenly realize
that for a period of time,
we haven’t exactly been living,
but just alive.
when all things
that we have been doing
were things just to make us survive.
it’s those times
when we close ourselves
from the world
we live, but not fully alive
we walk our lives through
this ever recurring way
it’s definitely not a “surprise”,
suddenly finding this out,
I don’t know what to call it,
but i can certainly
describe how it feels like,
…
it’s not a shame;
I’ve forgot, i think I’m alive