The Difficulty Of Opening Up
Being open has never been something I was good at. To a lot of people I come across as “confident” and apparently that somehow effects how open I‘m expected to be(?).
A lot of people assume if someone’s confident, they have no problem talking about their feelings or whatever (as a matter of fact, how do you even define “confident”?). I actually know people who believe if someone’s confident then that means they have no problems — wtf?
‘How does that work?’.
Sure you can be confident and open but that doesn’t mean everyone is. I could have very little self-confidence but find it incredibly easy to open up to someone. Why? Because being confident has nothing to do with how open you are.
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In my opinion, how open you are and how easily you open up are two very different things. To me, being open is being able to talk about anything and everything (including periods) but opening up is like giving a glimpse of your soul to someone. And for some, that’s hard.
What makes this hard? I guess it’s a combination of previous experiences mixed with just how hard shit has hit you and what you’ve been through. The same event can hit two people differently. It depends on you as a person and the significance of the event to you. Generally, the more you’ve been through the easier it is for you deal with things especially if you’ve been through tough times (not saying that if you’ve been through hell and back that you’re now suddenly a pro at dealing with shit, you probably just learn to get over it quicker than most or push it to the back of your mind until it makes its’ way to the front and you enter a vicious cycle).
So even then, why do some people find it harder to open up? That above, is why. You can go through tough times and get over them on the surface but deep down, you probably haven’t. Some people see that as a flaw in themselves. As if what they’ve been through is their fault and they’re scared that if anyone ever came to know their past, they’d either be looked down upon. It can make you feel pretty vulnerable too. Imagine someone knowing you better than you know yourself. Someone knowing all your weaknesses and all your flaws. Someone knowing why you think and act the way you do.
Idk about you but that scares the shit out of me.
But from experience, I can honestly say it is one of the best things I have ever forced myself to do (but I still feel extremely vulnerable). It was way out of my comfort zone. No doubt it was hard, but it was worth it. So worth it.
*pats self on back*
Long story short, opening up isn’t all that bad. Trust me.
