Be careful indeed!

Here’s $5. Go watch a Star War.

Icy what you did there.

“Israel and/or Russia first”

Depends on the kid.

Will someone please help us remove him? Our people who are supposed to do it are too spineless to try.

I have a (non-TMNT-themed) pizza cutter with a handle which is like a traditional wheel cutter handle, but also splits down the center and becomes more like the two-handed “staff” one. It works very well, because it transfers the pressure on the blade from a forward 45° angle to straight-down 90°. Great for thick/hard crust.

The handle splits above the blade rather than at the center of the wheel, so there’s a bit more clearance. But still I wouldn’t say it’s an impractical design. As long as you have slim hands and keep it level.

I didn’t just beat ‘em at chess, I rectum.

Intelligence and Wisdom are two separate stats.

How I met your mother.

My son is 9 and knows more about Toyotas (and other JDM cars) than any 9 y.o. should know. Probably more than most Japanese car dealers would know.
Should I have him tested for the ‘tism?

Judas: “the one I kiss is Jesus.”
Roman guard: “couldn’t you just like point at him or something?”
Judas (putting on lip balm): “I don’t tell you how to do your job…”

“Spider-Man is a menace!” -you, apparently.

Optimus. Optical sweaty is when you are more than meets the eye.

Lack of empathy. Sociopaths.

Must have been Jimmy John’s. That place serves mayo by the gallon. I hate them.

Tobacco is also part of the nightshade family. And peppers. 🌶️

Don’t worry, you pick up speed as you go. It’s fun! See ya at the bottom!

Bicycle Motor-Yoss Bicycle Motor Zoss

Corn dogs for sure.