i found myself in front of the atlantic skyline i found myself with the same argument as last time if this is what you want i guess it's all the same there's nothing we can do to make me start to sway i heard you say goodbye and i knew it was the last time i make my way home underneath the ogden street lights there's maggots in my brain reluctance in my face my sentences are strained i won't leave this hill or place so if this ends right here today i wanna say that if you're gonna walk away i wouldn't blame you in the slightest bit so spill your words and let's get this over with cause if you're gonna walk away i won't tell you my thoughts on all of this i'll bite my tongue until we both are sick so sick of throwing up you've got your scars and i've got mine i'll rip them up i'll tear them out and make sure i turn both of my eyes and when the air gets heavy i'll try not to think it's my own fault the world is crashing down on me i never stay and i never wanna go! and i never wanna hear you say! that if you're gonna walk away i wouldn't blame you in the slightest bit so spill your words and let's get this over with cause if you're gonna walk away i won't tell you my thoughts on all of this i'll bite my tongue until we both are sick so sick of throwing up cause if you're gonna walk away i'll think about you every single time i hear your voice in every song of mine so if we're gonna walk away and over years we both become estranged i'll always wish that some things never changed cause if you're gonna walk away i wouldn't blame you in the slightest bit so spill your words and let's get this over with cause if you're gonna walk away i won't tell you my thoughts on all of this i'll bite my tongue until we both are sick so sick of throwing up

i know it's so hard only pulling 20s and i know it's so hard only selling cds and i bet you're seeing red hearing no one wants you dead and you'll never get far rolling with the lowly and you'll never get far walking among the wordly scoffing at those different than you saying you act like jesus too and i'll sit here and boil in my room at the very thought about you because it's girls like you that make me wanna scream i wanna rip your stupid head off!! and hear you choke on your own throat!! i bet you'd be so good at that i wanna cut the brakes to your car after 12 shots down at the bar i bet i'd be so good at that you know i bet i'd be i bet i'd be so you always freak out at "you know i don't like you" you always spiral at FUCK!! "i've been so hurt by you" and i hear nothing but that too yeah i hear nothing but that too and i bet it makes you wonder why i'm so angry when you go around always pointing and blaming whoever the scene asks you to whoever the clique asks you to and i'll sit here and boil in my room at the memories i have with you because it's girls like you that make me say oh my god! i wanna rip your stupid head off!! and hear you choke on your own throat!! i bet you'd be so good at that i wanna cut the brakes to your car after 12 shots down at the bar i bet i'd be so good at that you know i bet i'd be i bet i'd be so i'll tell you every mundane day that i love you so much and i'll see you walk away the first time i fuck up there's so leniency or solidarity in the tone and the look that you have when you talk to me so if you'll turn and leave today i hope you'll forget me in every way you're another drop in the bucket of every time i that heard fuck it and fuck you fuck your life and fuck everything i hope you die i'll drink my cyanide jump in front of train lights cross my heart blown into the sky put 1000 bullets through my eye drain my arms until i'm dry take every pill that i can find and the holy ghost knows you won't be left behind i wanna rip your fucking head off and carve out the ligaments of your heart i bet i'd be so good at that i bet i'd be good at that i wanna slash the tires to your car like a 16 year old who learned what heartbreaks are i bet i'd be so good at that you know i'd bet i'd be i bet i'd be so ooooooooooo i'd be the last thing you'd see and i bet i'd like it too

saw you on the corner of the block in your mismatched checkered socks took your baggy hoodie sleeve to part your hair and still can't see so call the doctor call the nurse tell them everything that hurts but you're in the pores of my hands and in places i didn't know i had i sold my soul on ebay so i could live just like elaine so you can control your narrative by being the master of your domain but you're not the one the one that still haunts me you're not the one the one that still stalks me you're not the one who lives in all my fragile nightmares cuz you're not the one the one who still calls me you're not the one the one who's still talking you're not the one line i see whenever i hear my phone ring cuz these days i don't know what to do without obsessing over you and if these are the words you choose i hope you find peace too cuz you're not the one the one that still haunts me you're not the one the one that's still calling you're not the one the one that ooh you're not the one the one that ooh singing songs in eight fifty three backed by nine hundred sixty played through every android speaker on the phone of every dad picking apart my testimony using everything he can against me while holding on to every photo of his daughter he ever had i sold my soul on ksl so i could kick back deep in hell do you still believe it's the way i am never leaving my room again? -- you're not the one the one who still calls me you're not the one the one who still stalks me you're not the name that's written where the grief meets the air you're not the one who still calls me you're not the one who's still talking you're not the one the one that you're not the one the one that

pull myself away from the light fall into her arms collect myself behind my eyes i can't hear the next act fuck the stage lights the entire concert hall is clouded with the drives when I was next to you I'm fucking sorry i wish i could've seen you before flowers became of you you've turned to flowers

wave yourself around behind the door and always live with all the things that you do while the world fucks up your friends you gotta keep your name clear you gotta keep your speech clear you gotta keep yourself clear of any hit to your checks scream your song while a chorus screams it too but don't forget what those words all meant to you and i watch and i hear all these parasocial fears from all the people that all know what's correct for the world but they live so afraid and you live a life you made stepping up to the top of solidarity you forgot scream your song while a chorus screams it too but don't forget what those words all meant to you everyone in the world deserves to die everyone in the world deserves to die everybody in this world deserves to die everybody in this world deserves to mother freaking die

i don't know how to say i love you every day without wanting to say i wanna defenestrate you out the second story window and i want you here today but i guess i'll have to wait until the distant day you can finally leave conscription in south korea and i'll call you sometime after two i don't care if i fuckin close or have to open and i want you and i need you to remember to get your dinner cuz bunnies need nutrition and at the sunrise or at the night sky it may be different there but we still breathe the same fucked air and when you look out of your window and see the leaves fluttering by i want you to hear me say that i that i want you and i need you to remember to get your dinner cuz bunnies need nutrition i'm so scared of writing all these fucking love songs but it's all i wanna do since you've been gone besides lace my shoes into stars and ignore the fact i still need to mow the lawn throw every package onto the truck because i miss you so much i don't give a fuck i'll cover myself in fragile stickers cuz that's all i've been since you've been gone oh and i'll call you sometime after two i don't care if i fuckin close or have to open and i want you and i need you to remember to get your dinner cuz bunnies need nutrition (serena starts explaining her own song very awkwardly)

and if i could find you i wish i could hide you and save you from the smoke that looms over everything you do and if i could harbor you i'd lead this so far from you and you could be on top of the world in a less melancholic way north of center two because you look so beautiful in your business casual best and if we're going out on nbc and channel two i'll make sure to get outta here and out with you and i'll hold your hand down to debris again cause your voice offers me some solace between lives they expend and with you nothing is unthinkable while we make our way out of the end of the world and if god could smite me for anything i'd say i'd use my last words for the most blasphemous way i could say that hell wouldn't match the burning in my face when you take my hand and lead both of us astray because a lifetime of apostasy would've been a lot better than eternal life to me and if we're going out on nbc and channel two i'll make sure to get outta here and out with you and i'll hold your hand down to debris again cause your voice offers me some solace between lives they expend and with you nothing is unthinkable while we make our way out of the end of the world and if we're going down today and down this way at least i'll go down with you and if we're going out today and out this way at least i'll go out with you and when the entire world turns to ash and dust we'll be more than just twisted steel with names barely discussed and if we're going out on nbc and channel two i'll make sure to get outta here and out with you and i'll hold your hand down to debris again cause your voice offers me some solace between the lives they expend and with you nothing is unthinkable while we make our way out of the end of the world

i took the photos off the wall i burned the thoughts forgot them all the things i knew were never true i owe it all, it all to you i found you in a bathroom stall the drugs, the cuts, the alcohol we're hand in hand it's killing me the total loss of everything so when the moonlight turns to blood tonight and i lie here rings around my eyes will you tell me i'm not just nobody will i die here bottle in hand road for a bed? there's not much else to say these days i hate the words i hate the way everything that keeps me here i have an urge to push away if god is real i guess i'm fucked knowing me that's just my luck there's nothing left to say or do i owe it all, it all to you so when the moonlight turns to blood tonight and i lie here rings around my eyes will you tell me i'm not just nobody will i die here bottle in hand road for a bed? when the moonlight phases out behind my eyes and the nighttime is all i call mine and my body melts into the asphalt road i hope that my soul finds the long way back to you and home but i know but i know home was never there

i found god in my back pocket i pulled it out and i lit the fuse i took it in and filled my lungs with a monochrome life and shades of blue beheaded everyone i saw as laban because it's what i was commanded to and as the dirt was painted red i never found gold plates just ruined shoes that i wore instead oh my marigold oh how i wish i'd never known oh my marigold oh how i wish i'd never known i held onto the rules and rubrics engraved into that iron rod i found the fruit and when i tried it i only knew i was a fraud i spat it out and threw it up and cursed myself for my own thoughts i turned away i don't deserve it and i i guess i never fucking could oh my marigold oh how i wish i'd never known oh my marigold oh how i wish i'd never known

biddy fox: alright, we're rolling serena: uhhh alright i kinda suck shit at the keyboard but biddy fox: that's alright just give it a shot shut up! don't talk like that why the hell are you always this mad? it's so fucked you think i'm motley crue but i'm not hedonistic in these airwalk shoes and hey i understand your pain the whole wide world wants to throw us away it's so sad you'd rather friendly fire so now stop, hating's bad who are you to police everybody that breathes every day? who are you to wish those you hate excruciating pain? at the end of the world when god destroys everything would you still loathe and detest me? when we go to hell for infighting instead of worshiping would you still loathe and detest me? cuz every day i wake up and every day i go to bed and every day is so fucked and i need to rest my little head cuz every day i wake up and every day i go to bed but every night i'm staying up always afraid of what you wish you'd said who are you to police everybody that breathes every day? i guess some people never change who are you to wish those you hate excruciating pain? i guess some people never change at the end of the world when god destroys everything would you still loathe and detest me? when we go to hell for jacking off instead of worshiping would you still loathe and detest me? i'm not here to diminish how you feel, love i'm not here to tell you the way you hurt isn't even real but if you're crying over a tiny papercut you should leave the ambulance for those still holding in their guts and maybe instead of pushing over those you love in a desperate pathetic attempt to hold yourself so high above i hope sunday school is something you went through because the tower of babel wants to have a word or two with you at the end of the world when god destroys everything would you still loathe and detest me? when we go to hell for infighting instead of worshiping would you still loathe and detest me? at the end of the world will god destroy you? at the end of the world will hell be waiting for you? at the end of the world will god destroy you? at the end of the world will hell be waiting for me too? it's not the end of the world it's not the end of the world