Dharma Curious (he/him), dharmacurious@slrpnk.net

Similar story getting pulled by a cop for speeding once. I’m gay, but used she/her when I told him, because I’m not a complete fucking moron.

I was speeding, it was like 3am, this is after my state’s hilarious excuse for a lockdown, so all the businesses are closed at night now, and they will pull you any time they catch someone driving at night.

Officer: where ya headed this time of night?

Me: glances at the lube and condoms laying on the passenger seat “hookup with a chick I met online”

Officer: Fuck yeah. Drive safe, buddy.

And he fucking walked away. No other questions, did not ask to see my license, insurance, nothing. Just “go get you some, boy!” And that was it. Had I admitted it was a guy instead? I highly doubt the reaction would have been the same

Buddhist monks have historically been pretty handy with fire…

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a building…

That’s not the lead up to the joke. I’d just be inviting them all over and covering my bases!

Idk, man, depends on the bags, but I love getting the flesh purse dangled into my enamal-bladed bear trap sometimes

My boyfriend once got lock jaw while giving head to his ex. He got it out, but it was tight and it scratch up his dick pretty good from what I understand. Bf had to go to urgent care because his jaw was stuck mid blowjob for over an hour. They told the doc he had been eating a sandwich when it happened.

The funny part, though, is that they were hosting family for a weekend, and had snuck off for a mid day quickie when it happened lmao

Thank you so much! I was just trying to tell a friend about one of my favorite webcomics from years ago, but it’s been so long that I had completely forgotten the name, and could only describe it as “basically it’s like if the flag balls were people, and it’s set in Europe, but I can’t remember where”

65% of all statistics are made up right there on the spot!

Honestly, I can’t imagine winter without something to break the monotony of it. But where I live winters can be pretty harsh. They’re fairly mild is Australia, right? Or is that just the image I have of it in my head because it’s supposed to be so damn hot there? Lol

Same thing I thought. Is there a winter holiday that’s popular in Oz?

Can I participate if I use a box mod? I prefer a very open airflow

I personally don’t use twitter, and for what it’s worth, I also don’t really consider it a meme. I just meant that the twitter screenshots have been used as memes and in meme communities since around that time, per my own experiences

35 year old man, and I have not only never received flowers, I have also not once in my entire life ever considered that someone would give me flowers at any point in my life.

If we’re using a descriptive model of linguistics, then I’d say about 2012 or so

I want to continue the joke, but honestly, that was the best reply possible and there is no way to top it

Fellow member of the Church of the Holy Weiner, I see! Salutations and glory to the Almighty Long Ones!

Nothing tops Attenborough’s hatred of the toad for me

Fun fact! Hermit crabs have a better housing economy than we do! When a crab that needs a new shell stumbles upon one that is too large for itself, it will wait around for another crab of the appropriate size to take it, and then take the smaller shell it discards. They will often do this with a line of several crabs, effectively creating a socialist housing system in which each crab gets the correct sized home for itself.

That’s hilarious! I opened your reply up and held it for later and did the same thing, before ever reading your reply! Lol

And way too much coincidence. I won’t post my whole name, but I’m actually a hyphenate as well. My mom wrote her ex husband’s name on the birth certificate because when I was born it was a c section, but when they cut her she felt it. She’d had so many epidurals previously because of her surgeries for her disabilities that he had just built an immunity to them is our best guess they had to knock her out, and they asked her to sign the birth certificate before the drugs had fully worn off. Haha. So the birth certificate had one name (her ex husband and my brother’s name) and SS had another (my father’s) name, and no body ever realized the mistake until it came time to get it drivers license. I ended up hyphenating them as it was cheaper than getting one or the other changed at the time.

Should I ever get married I want to just add the third name. I really like the idea of collecting names haha

Also! Bridge tunnel story! The entire reason we moved to Hampton Roads is because we were living in a school bus, traveling and setting up with the carnival at the time. Very long sort of fall from grace type scenario. Haha. But the bus broke down inside in the tunnel. We were stuck there for hours and hours. We caused a huge traffic jam. And my mom was terribly claustrophobic. By the time the wrecker got there and got us out of the tunnel she told them to take us to the nearest camp ground instead of a mechanic. She was done. We stayed in a campground in Chesapeake for a few months and then didn’t leave Hampton roads for 15 years

I’m very sorry. But to make it up to you I know a sweet little patch of land perfect for camping. It’s about halfway between BFE and You Gotta Purdy Mouf, just north of Cousin Fuck, Mississippi.