HotDogFingies

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Experience the luxury of JERBCHEST

“It’s”

My dumbass Republican father wants to do away with USPS entirely and rely solely on existing private businesses, such as FedEx or UPS.

He lives in Tucson, AZ. So, not exactly country. But he’s fucking stupid.

Cutie 🩷

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Aye-aye

I can’t use it because I live in the wrong state. Truly some fucking bullshit.

With every fiber of my being, please.

It’s like this moment was made for my boyfriend.

Getting shot at comes with the job you willingly signed up for.

Peas suck

First I’ve heard of it

I don’t think most Americans need a reason.

Shut up, Grandpa. You’re embarrassing me.

Nationalism is a bitch.

We’re dumb and very deserving of ridicule, but let me correct you anyway.

Macaroni and Cheese was introduced to the US by James Hemings, a man enslaved by Thomas Jefferson (our 3rd president), after returning from Italy, where he learned how to do pasta stuff because Tommy just loved noods.

So, yeah. Slavery.

I love dried egg noodles. Please, sir, can I have some more?

YES.

Growing up poor is fun. Very similar to what we called tuna casserole.

1. Box of elbow macaroni, cooked
2. Can of cream of mushroom soup
3. Can of tuna, drained
4. Can of peas, drained

Dump. Mix. Consume.

I’m still poor, but I don’t eat that shit.