Which one is Mary, and which Jesus?

Xlon’s Twitter

So does that mean they no longer have nuclear capabilities?

Does she chew with her mouth open?

Somebody’s family is having a rough week

Hay is for hoses, straw is for turtles

Finally.

An appropriate opportunity for a headline writer to use the word ‘slammed’ and they went with ‘hit?’

JFC

Lemmyors

Ok, but why do I smell hippos??

My brain

They will now be known as Doctors With One Border

Maga

Eh, they had a good run 🤷‍♂️

You know shit is serious when world leaders start slamming things

So I do still swear and curse…

But now I do it literally.

“Yeah, our quarterback sucks and we haven’t won a game in 3 seasons, but they’re my team and I love them”

That’s it. That’s as deep as it gets with magats.

You cheer your team and you boo your enemies. You don’t need to know why.

Texas is a pretty terrible place. And it’s huge. Have fun.

Nobody had a faster robot?

This vampire joke doesn’t suck as much as usual

Same, tbh